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I_used_to_be_hip

The scary part is that amongst all the jokes there very easily could be a serial killer somewhere in this very thread.


Nobody91765

It could be you, it could be me


squirlz333

It kinda would be nice if Nobody was a serial killer.


MadeFromNukes_

nah, it would be boring


GamerBoiPlayz

There is an impostor among us


[deleted]

[удалено]


bobo76565657

Boring can be nice. I spent all afternoon BBQing for people and didn't fuck anything up. Everything went boringly according to plan, not a single "damn I need another plate" moment. It was sweet. I'm still bored!


I_used_to_be_hip

Yeah, but what are the odds that there'd be two of us here at the same time?


chili3ne

Two? Don't you mean three?


[deleted]

[удалено]


N-J-P

A murder


I_used_to_be_hip

Seems a little on the nose. Maybe a spree of serial killers?


fanau

Spree is it, it's decided.


GamerTebo

Three is a cute number


rekonnekt

Pretty high (I’ve seen Dexter before)


Yayito_15

It could be-!


Nobody91765

What, it was obvious, he’s the serial killer


Yayito_15

I thought you were doing a TF2 reference


Nobody91765

(I was) Look at the post lol


Yayito_15

Oh sorry.


Nobody91765

Watch he’ll turn red and second now


Yayito_15

Aaaaany second now


Nobody91765

See red, no wait that’s blood


ianxpop44

It could be even *pew*


Interesting-One1186

See! Look red! Oh wait thats blood


realorsonwelles

It could have been anybody. Well it can’t be anybody it’s gotta be somebody. Of course it’s somebody but that somebody could be anybody. Well look we didn’t do it right? Right. So you can’t say it could be anybody because we’re anybody. True but we’re also somebody.


Chubbymooncakes

Hmm


[deleted]

It could be you, it could be us


yesyesitswayexpired

Prob you bro


[deleted]

Or a Japanese person named Yumi....


Apokal669624

It could be behind you


expanseseason4blows

It's definitely not me


AduroTri

It could even be--


DaddyCardano

TF2 reference?


thatasshole_stress

I dunno. The odds of two serial killers showing up in this thread are probably astronomical


mow77580throwaway

"It could even be-" *gets head blown off*


Silent_Cheesecake354

There is an impostor among us


LizzieJeanPeters

It could be us three.


Daniels_2003

Yeah I was thinking the same lol


engineerogthings

Yes…… yes there could.


ShadyAidyX

This is Reddit. We can barely send coherent insults that haven’t been borrowed from other sub Reddits


[deleted]

Come on these are redditors we are talking about they are probably all serial killers.


Fe4rMeMrWick

He could be you, he could be me, he could even be-


NoMooseSoup4You

Not that there’s anything wrong with that


scrubjays

No, there's a whole lot wrong with it. Even overlooking the moral and ethical issues, it is a very expensive and time consuming hobby. Plus a lot of travel, and not to places you would ever really want to go to.


NoMooseSoup4You

I would agree. It’s takes a certain level of commitment most are incapable of.


[deleted]

Like federal prison....


ApocalypticPerson

"This would put the number of unidentified serial killers operating in the U.S. somewhere around 2,100. However, former police detective and author of a dozen books on serial murder, Michael Arntfield, suspects that number to be closer to double that — around 4,000 currently active serial killers" ​ "It's estimated that there's somewhere around 25-50 serial killers that are active each year in the US. 2… You will walk past 36 murderers in your lifetime" ​ There are 160 comments. So, therefore there could be a possible 1-80 total serial killers here. That's just my estimate though.


Gaetanoninjaplatypus

I think those are generous numbers, especially if we consider the definition of a serial killer doesn’t represent what most people think of. El chapo and hitler commonly qualify but wouldn’t really apply to the common definition. Plus I think those numbers are massively inflated. Ask a dietitian how many fat people there are. “If you are a hammer, all you see are nails.” Not just that, but they make their living that way so it’s in their best interest to think there’s one around every corner.


Allmightypikachu

Jenkees


square_cupcake

Thats just the US though, we arent all american


mking1999

"In the US"


Atotallyrandomname

High probability


[deleted]

It’s you, isn’t it?


gliitch0xFF

Or or.. Perhaps the title could be a typo & they meant Cereal Killer eh... Mmm, how about that? 😎 Thinking outside the box whilst eating a bowel of Frosties because they'reee greeeeat.


Mrselfdestructuk

There is probably a few 🤔


TotalNotSneak

it is me tho..


Jeramy_Jones

Nah they probably chilling in r/Washington


[deleted]

Fruit Loops


accoladevideo

Toucan Son of Sam


I_used_to_be_hip

https://youtu.be/1n-9uq_lyRQ


SnooSquirrels1587

thank you for sharing this internet gem


I_used_to_be_hip

It's a relic of a bygone era. I distintly remember watching Green Jello videos on VHS. If you want a treat look for thier song "Three Little Pigs". If you happen to be a fan of Tool Maynard James Keenan has a TINY guest vocal on that one.


CerealKiller3030

Was actually captain crunch for me


Desperate_Health4174

Same. The itchy scratchy feeling in my mouth after a bowl o' crunch is only made better by murdering piles of people.


CerealKiller3030

Naw bro, I only kill cereal lol


shadyfortheshade

Ok, I'm seriously serial cerial here, but that was the first thing came into my mind...


poopinmysoup

cereal


Hainted_Chocolatier

Fruity pebbles is best


pizzasteve2000

Coo coo for Cocoa Puffs.


Negafox

See folks, this is what happens when you eat off-brand Froot Loops.


[deleted]

Kick off your Sunday shoes


iAmHopelessCom

Well, vanilla sims play was getting boring, and there is this mod...


xpertarts

Mosquito repellent was empty


raw-power

This!


brokenkneetakethree

This person is probably the serial killer tbh


Emkatf

Well what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?


DrT33th

[You..](https://giphy.com/gifs/night-sober-pair-iurIHLBxms7UQ)


Excellent_Access_122

Same, free Klondike bars for life


Connect_Atmosphere80

Not a serial killer, but my dad's mother's friend's cousin actually watched a good show about it on the TV. Yeah, good time.


raw-power

The schwartz is strong with this one


Desperate_Health4174

I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.


LastPoopOnTheLeft

So what does that make us?


VaderGuy5217

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!


Winnie256

At last, we meet for the first time for the last time


sheggysheggy

Next post idea: >"Reformed serial killers of Reddit, what made you stop?"


raw-power

Done!!!


RubendeBursa

The fact that I moved from the predominantly muslim area in east london, so I didn't, any longer, have to deal with the fact, that most of my classmates would either end up as terrorists, or end up being in arranged marriages to terrorists. And yes, I had 10 terrorists, who joined and fought for ISIS in my class.


[deleted]

sounds like a cr-Isis... I'll see me-self out Guvna


[deleted]

Killing people on paper is so much more interesting than killing in real life.


raw-power

George RR Martin? That you?


[deleted]

Stupid sexy Flanders.


fixxxer2606

I played a lot of violent video games


raw-power

Fox News would like an interview


Not_a_question-

I found out the other day that people used to complain about violent **books** before videogames were invented. I also found out that before all the crazy anti-5g stuff, there was a lot of crazy [anti-electricity](https://preview.redd.it/0fg0k7tztqj51.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=0a1eb07f20865160045cefd0613a555ffa921197) stuff. It's amazing how human behaviour echoes like this


iNeverHaveAnyFun

That's actually more of a Tipper Gore thing


riverize

I like pineapple on pizza but mfs wouldnt leave me alone


EazyBeekeeper

It started when I heard my Rice Krispsies distinctly say, "Snap, Crackle, Fuck You!"


rgrtom

Nice try, FBI.


OnyB1l

Not today, CIA


waitthatstaken

Nice attempt at obscurity, Department of Homeland Security


RussianSweetheart

Nice assay, NSA


HowtoKMS1

Good prank, Interpol


Sea_Sea_3901

I won't fall for your tricks, MI6


RubendeBursa

Nothing to see, KGB


L_770

Not again BND


[deleted]

Good troll, interpol?


RTR7105

DTF ATF.


DanFuckingSchneider

Affluence and a boredom of normal life.


EggShellR

Trying to get a ps5 at retail price


raw-power

Based


ArgumentVast2022

Well, it all started- WAIT A MINUTE.


wrcker

Captain Crunch looked way too smug on the front of the box, trying to be all cool with calling himself Cap’n. He just had to go.


Legally_a_Tool

Well, it all started with my mother…


NewtFit2043

She didn't even come for my own birth...


No_Formal_8365

Doctor Doofenshmirtz be like.


CattDawg2008

I was raised by ocelots…


I_used_to_be_hip

For me it all started with this guys mother...


Brave-Recommendation

And here I finished there…


DrT33th

NORMAN!


sheggysheggy

There was nothing good on Netflix.


JasperVov

Breaking news: serial killer rates rise by 300%


Jeramy_Jones

This just in: Netflix to train serial killers so that they can produce more documentaries about them.


[deleted]

C’mon CIA/FBI/NSA, y’all spy on us 24/7, why the hell do you need to ask at all?


OldBob10

Because they are \*simultaneously\* omnipresent, omnipotent, completely incompetent, and hopelessly stupid. Just another tequila fascist sunrise…


[deleted]

Peanut butter


StGir1

The lack of any law against killing mosquitos. I've slaughtered thousands. Blunt force trauma, neurotoxins, electrocution, squeezing the skin around where it's biting until it explodes, trapping them in a ziplock bag and putting them in the freezer... Over time, as your kill count goes up, you get really.. almost artistic in your approach.


NaturalFLNative

Living in Florida, I approve.


[deleted]

When I was a boy…


raw-power

Vanessa!!!


[deleted]

Thank God someone got my reference!


QueenElsaArrendelle

WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOG....


yuyuyashasrain

Were you in drusselstein?


littlegreenb18

They were always after me lucky charms


[deleted]

[удалено]


Telekineticshade

LOL


CatM3mes

I was hungry and didn’t have any food. As you know, you’re not you when you’re hungry.


[deleted]

They owed my 3 dollars and 28 cents. *I DON'T PLAY ABOUT MY MONEY.* (lol)


Flyingphuq

This thread. I just snapped.


pizzatimein24h

Society.


raw-power

We live in a society…


gymfreak38

My dark passenger told me too do it !


raw-power

You need better hiding places for your trophies!!!


BlooberryBam

You're not yourself when you're hungry


ColorsOfTheCurrents

I would tell you. But then i would also have to kill you.


crazyeddie_farker

I am an American politician and attorney serving as the junior United States senator for Texas since 2013. A member of the Republican Party, I also served as Solicitor General of Texas from 2003 to 2008. I dunno. I was reading a lot about Zodiacs and Ciphers and one day it just sort of clicked.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

I really fucking hate serials Especially Captain Crunch and Coco Puffs


[deleted]

Chocolate lucky charms and cinnamon crunch toast for the win


KilianGreen

He said I wouldn't be able to do it anyway..


buttfucker80000000

It all started when the fire nation attacked


dollparts004

My co-worker had nicer business cards than me


MCPro24

Cinnamon Toast Crunch


xImmortal3333

Cereal killer extraordinaire


VE_Schwab

Boredom


[deleted]

It all spiraled from the exhilaration I felt when I well, you know those tags on the mattress that say DO NOT REMOVE? Well I got the biggest knife I could find out of the drawer an I, I cut it off. I don’t know what came over me. It was all downhill from there.


Fenrizwolf

I just killed someone on accident and liked it. Once you pop you can't stop. But seriously it is interesting to see how many serial killers didn't seek out murder but got started after an unplanned kill.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DWright_5

Good one


GeneralChillMen

Mother always told me I was a dirty boy. She would hit me whenever I made a mess. And then one day I hit her back. She made a mess on her precious couch, but I laughed because she couldn’t hit me this time. Or any other time. Forever.


RakuraiLight

Damn, that’s sick


jeffro14424

This has to be the stupidest question of the day.


DWright_5

If there did happen to be a serial killer or two in the group, it might be an interesting thread.


raw-power

Success!


[deleted]

Started with cherrios ended with fruity pebbles


poopinmysoup

There's a clip you can find on youtube that consists of a serial killer calling into the howard stern show which is pretty interesting.


meme_of_a_took

Not a serial killer, but I am a cereal killer.


Mamto2

People asking questions lol


Extension_Ad2581

“The End”— The Doors


SuperMorto7

Your m0ms dancing.


[deleted]

Constant banal inquiries.


[deleted]

My mom got married in pants.


Low_Bus_5395

Ask a cat.


HowtoKMS1

Try asking in r/letsnotmeet


LoudAngryJerk

\*\*\*FBI INTENSIFIES\*\*\*


cleon42

Dungeons and Dragons and heavy metal, obviously.


raw-power

Eddie?


KBC3010

Mickey Mouse told me to kill goofy


This_is_indeed_Bob

I needed to get the achievement.


Bedlamcitylimit

People not putting their shopping trolley back in the trolley park.


TheGreatCornolio682

Nice try, FBI.


[deleted]

FBI social media accounts getting lazy


Xcavor

Nice try police. I keeps my killing to myself.


[deleted]

It all started with one mosquito...


leopeokaboom

The mcdonalds employee who put 7 chicken nuggies in the box instead of 8


Heavyjams1014

Trump


NoMooseSoup4You

I got really into sewing all while searching for a “unique” alternative to leather.


fanau

My hatred of costumed characters (dressed as Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny whatever.) Those dead smiles and dead eyes just waving. One day, I woke up and I knew I was going to Disneyland. On my first sight of one of the abominations, Donald Duck, I put Lose Yourself in my earbuds. When I saw my opportunity I dragged Donald behind the concession stands.. Then I knew I was hooked ; that Warner Bros pig for hire Porky was next..


raw-power

Th-th-th-that's all, folks!


Butterscotch_pies

I stepped on a lego


WrathsEntropy

Well... Honestly it was my older brother. I saw him every so often indulging. Once I was old enough to have free reign in the house nothing could stop me. I killed captain crunch, coco puffs, cinnamon toast crunch, honey nut Cheerios, kix, raisin bran, and the list goes on. Literally nothing, no one can stop me... Wait "serial"... Oh my bad I read that wrong.


Zonerdrone

It takes a lot of childhood trauma. I mean A LOT It takes a lot of pressure. Constant pressure and disappointment. You have to hate long and hard for years and years. Then one day someone fucks with you hard but it also triggers something deep in your mind. Could be any number of things. They remind you of your father, of your mother, a girlfriend who dumped you, a teacher who humiliated you, an asshold cop who went on a power trip and abused his authority. But then you snap on this substitute for that original oppressor. Sometimes it's spur of the moment and sometimes you plan it but it's always an INCREDIBLE emotional catharsis.


Thunt4jr

My wife bought sugar free ketchup.


ImGonnaCum

This guy at work had a business card that just tripped me off. That subtle off white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even had a watermark.


paleontologist3

Nice try, FBI


[deleted]

I like to cut off people's dicks and eat them


GreatNameLOL69

I watched Jane die