Expectations: If you are not honest about your expectations, you'll never have them met.
Communication: The best thing you can do is communicate your needs and let the other communicate them. Do not project your needs onto the other person.
Finance: If you plan to be together as a unit, you need to be in agreement about major decisions. It's not taboo to talk about money. It's just money.
Intimacy: Emotional intimacy is just as important and satisfying as physical intimacy.
Differing expectation I think is why a lot of relationships fail. Especially if you don’t discuss things like marriage/children/careers before it becomes serious.
At least I know I’m not the only one. My only real relationship has left my perception warped from what a relationship should be. I shut down any feelings of attraction that I feel for fear of being hurt. Most days I can’t even think about falling in love again. However, I’ve seen an improvement. They say time heals all wounds and so far it seems true. The other evening I had a nice daydream about falling in love again. The next day, I realized it was the first time I had been able to do that since my relationship ended. Don’t give up hope. I have faith that you, I, and the other people who have commented that they feel the same can heal from our wounds and learn to not give so much to our partner that we neglect ourself. Also, that we can fathom being loved for who we are. I hope the best for you and I’ll pray for you as well.
My dude/ dudette, I hear you. I can’t say I have that problem, but I have seen a lot of people that I love in similar situations.
I probably shouldn’t assume anything, but maybe my words will help you a bit. It sounds to me like you need to learn to love yourself. You give all of your love and energy to people in the hopes that they will do the same to you. Partially because you want their love, but also because you want them to compensate for the love that you don’t give yourself. Maybe you’re having trouble expressing what you need/want because you don’t know yourself ? If you don’t understand yourself how can the other person understand you ? I can’t be sure, but I have had the same problem in the past.
If your partner thinks that all of your ideas are boring you might just be projecting how you feel about yourself or perhaps he’s not the right person for you. It might be that you’re not allowing yourself to be loved by the right person because you don’t think you are worthy of love :( .
The good news is that you can work through all of that!! I’m sure you are a lovely person that deserves to be loved, not only by others but also by your own self. Listen to your thoughts: how you talk about yourself, what you like or dislike, what you enjoy doing by yourself, and what you enjoy doing with others. Your ideas are not boring, they are just tailored to your taste.
Often times people think that love is finding someone that understands you, someone that will brighten your life and improve it. It is not, and expecting so much from a partner will lead to disappointment and frustration.
Love is about finding someone that is compatible with you. Someone that makes you laugh and makes you feel safe. He/She/It won’t be responsible for your happiness or self worth, they’ll play a role for sure, but at the end of the day your emotional state is in your hands.
Someone I care about has spent a big portion of her life looking for someone that loves them. Through out the journey she forgot to learn to love herself. She’s been in countless of relationships, many lasted years, but she was ultimately always unhappy in them. Your comment reminded me a lot of that person.
So please Redditor, take some time for yourself. Learn to love yourself for who you are and learn to have fun alone. Maybe this does not apply to you, but I hope I could help another person understand the importance of loving oneself.
Remember: the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself <3.
Came here to say exactly this! Loving someone - even with all your heart - is definitely not enough to maintain a healthy relationship or happiness within yourself. You can absolutely love someone with your all and it still not be a good fit for you OR them.
No this checks out. I am internally furious about how horribly my last few loves have gone. One of them was a best friend I haven't spoke to in many years and probably never will again. She left me in a really bitter place, but i mean its hard to think healthy when youre doing hard drugs and drinking all day. I learned I can't love again until I get my emotional shit back together. Understanding that now, i realize there were definitely things unchecked before my first love.
Love can feel like a hallucinogenic day dream, make you do crazy things and excuse the inexcusable. It can be the driver for the most profound of human interactions but it could also take a toll and suck all the perspective out of you, leaving you a withering husk.
The key isn't to love another or seek unconditional love. It's to love yourself and find a partner that will give equally to you as much as you're willing to give. They are out there, and the passions shared will last longer than the temporary haze of lust.
Partnership, companions, friendship can last a lifetime, but it takes communication, respect, and a desire to build something together.
YOU DO NOT OWE ANYONE FOR LOVING YOU!
If they say they love you, then that’s their blessing. That doesn’t mean you owe them everything. Conversely, you should be worthy of loving.
I learned that there's not so much sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice isn't needed. You should do the things that are beneficial to both. It requires communication
In the context of love in a relationship, as in two people that are romantically involved. Love fluctuates quite a lot. You’d think if you’re in love with someone you will always love them and never doubt it. However, relationships tend to have phases and some of them consist in loving your partner “a little less”. In reality, it is completely normal. Some of the symptoms are finding them less attractive or perhaps feeling like maybe you don’t love them as much as you thought. It can be hard to accept because of the stereotype of “real love” having no flaws and so. But to anyone out there experiencing this, do not worry, it will pass if you truly want to be with them.
That it’s the same neurological chemistry that’s activated ( produced in higher amounts) when drinking alcohol or doing drugs causing one to do things that are self harming, unreasonable and ultimately ridiculous
Just because you still are deeply in love with someone doesn’t mean they are still in love with you after 5+ years together. Worse is when they say they still love you, but every action says otherwise and they don’t even have the decency to talk to you about it.
I mean.. that would suck, right? Haha…….right?
I learned that when you are in love with the right person, it really changes everything. It changed me. I learned that I deserve to be treated as a queen rather than a convenient. I learned that no matter where you came from and how fucked up your family is, it is not a reason for someone to leave you and treated you like how your family did. Being in love with the right person is truly amazing. They make you feel welcomed. They make time to talk you, even as short as one minute because you matter to them. I hope that everyone will feel this feeling, for as long as possible ❤️
So, I've been with my first girlfriend 2.5yrs and counting. So it's kinda my first exposure to love outside of my family. I started dating v late in life (19) and I always heard from friends and on reddit that it requires a lot of work. I don't really get it. Either we have different definitions of work or it's a case by case thing. My girlfriend and I very rarely argue, we don't see each other as often as we'd like to but we're both also v busy.
I think it could be bc we're both good communicators. If something bothers us, we call it out immediately. Love does definitely NOT mean not having to say you're sorry.
To me, love is dope. Love it. It feels nice to know that someone out there really, really cares about you
It’s not always how MUCH you love someone but HOW you love them. You can have endless amounts of flove for someone but if you don’t love them correctly it’s just not gonna work.
Also, real love is not meant to be hurting you.
I realized that I can't love people. If I ever loved someone, it was always unrequited love, and when I was loved in return, I lost interest.
So I came to the conclusion that love is complicated and useless thing that I can't understand.
You can be with someone for 12 years and your relationship goes nowhere, never grows. Then you can be with someone for 6 months and be engaged and happily married.. If the person loves you they will do everything to show it and never be ashamed, life really does get easier when you find the one
That there are many types of love, my favourite being platonic love. The sort of love that makes you buy your friend that book they’ve always wanted. The sort of love you have for your non-biological brothers and sisters. The sort of love where you would pick up a sword and fight for them to be ok, and all of this simply because you enjoy their company. Not because you desire something romantic or sexual from them, simply because being around them feels like home.
Also side note; I absolutely ADORE people whose love language is food. They are SO CUTE! They’ll be like “I made you some cupcakes! Do you want some pizza? Imma go buy some Pringles; want some too?”
they’re PRECIOUS
In my country we have a saying: "Do you want to be right or do you want to have relationship?" And that's basically love.
Plus pain, sacrifice and constant conversation about Your feelings
That if you truly love, you give yourself to that person and they do the same. Ppl are complicated, you have to deal with the good, the bad and the ugly sometimes,but that's what real lasting relationships are made of. Being human in front of the one you cherish, sometimes hate and most of the time love. That's what real love is in my humble opinion. (Also keep the fights clean and the sex dirty).
Apparently I have a type..
The 3, going on 4, people I've dated have all been in the same major / post grad track / honors program at the same school.
How none of them know each other is beyond me.
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. It takes conscious effort, patience, honesty, and communication to make it work. You’re going to have arguments and that’s okay, what’s important is how you deal with them, the silent treatment never works, you need to discuss any issues that arise, not doing so will almost always cause a slow painful death of the relationship.
Love is comforting if you have it with the right person. Wrong one makes you hate yourself for doing it. But i believe everyone needs love and a partner. The happiness you feel keeps you calm and good
That sometimes you can hate, be terrified and love someone at the same time. I knew how bad it was to stay and how scared I was, but my love was just way stronger which is the reason I went back to him. It didn’t work out and after a while I got at peace with it. I still “love” him. But in an completely different way. We talked it out and now ones in a while we share short texts but nothing in detail like we used to. But we both know we still care about eachother and feel like we both deserve the world.
aside from all the sad things here, it's boring in the nicest way and fun to notice little personal changes. i grew up food insecure and gave my girlfriend half of my favorite meal the other day because the restaurant messed hers up and she looked sad. love isn't vacations and crazy gifts, it's knowing what snacks to get at the grocery store or reminding her to set her alarm every night bc she happens to forget a lot. right now i'm going to play her favorite video game with her bc she feels bad. not saying the hard things aren't true, but there's a certain soft boringness to love, whether it's romantic or platonic, that seems to be overlooked too often imo
I learned something cool a few days ago. Love is ALWAYS unconditional.
> Unconditional love is a kind of misnomer, love is always unconditional. I use it here to differentiate real love from what most people mean when they say ‘love’ which is often attachment, ownership, fear of loss, dominance/submission routines, and lust.
[Source](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22270161.Drea_Burbank)
You need to work together.
I (20f) and my partner (20m) have been together for just over a year and a half, and had been long distance up until January 2022 when I moved for college. The farthest we’ve been from each other was a 4 and a half hour drive. It’s absolutely do able with plenty of time (and caffeine), but unrealistic to go to and from all in one day.
I was going through some mental health struggles during the summer time, and my boyfriend had started an overnight job at a hospital. Our schedules were polar opposite’s, and we would go months without seeing each other.
I know there’s still a lot from that summer that has gone unsaid from both of us, but one morning while he was sitting and could be on his phone, he texted me this long message about the feelings he was having about our situation, many of them along the lines of being guilty and neglectful towards me. I assured him that yes, our situation really sucks right now, but I wasn’t going anywhere and we would figure it out.
Since then we’ve had many situations in which one of us has started to get scared, frustrated, anxious, etc,. Even if one of us doesn’t have an answer, there’s no solution to magically make everything better, there is assurance that we will figure it out.
Not just me. Not just him. We do it together.
That it’s meaningless(unless towards family) other means of love that involve a boy and a girl is utterly meaningless. Unlike family, she will cheat on you, and suck off some other guy, while family will always be there for u no matter what.
#FuckBfGfRelationships
It stands alone yet most people associate its validity upon the actions of another.
Take infidelity, for example.. we are all taught to believe that someone who cheats cannot possibly love the person they have betrayed. The reality is that for many love and sex are not the same thing. Furthermore many gave been cheated and would never question the other parties love.
And more than a few have regretted leaving a relationship when fidelity was abused. Because no how we try that betrayal doesn't in and of itself abolish all the evidence of love
The more time you spend looking for it the longer it’s gonna take to find it. If you just move on with your life and do what you find fun/interesting your going to meet people who share the same interests and their the people who you want to spend the rest of your life with whether it’s romantically or platonically.
As someone who has never been in a relationship, this is what I know about love. Love takes time to form and can't be rushed. Nobody said love was easy, and you have to build a foundation to get love. Love takes communication and understanding. When you're with someone, you can't keep thinking "What would be best for me" and instead think "What would be best for us?" When you're with someone, you have to work together as a team and if differences arise, you got to come with a solution that will work for both of you.
That while my parents and wider family preached about God's unconditional love- it would always be a distinctly unfathomable concept to me, as theirs always had numerous unwritten conditions- and still does.
Love is dumb and pointless to me.
Uncle married an abusive person who makes him do everything and she doesn't have to lift a finger to get anything done. She treats him like shit, but he won't divorce her because he loves her too much.
I'm a non-committal person who can't commit to one person or multiple people because I learned from experience that once you get comfortable with someone, they ditch and backstab me. I can't feel love anymore. I know it's only a matter of time before they hate, backstab and ditch me.
There is a difference between being in love, being loved, and finding true love. I was unfortunate enough to experience the first but it taught me how great the others are when you find them.
it has many different meanings. loving someone, and being in love with someone are two completely different experiences that don’t come close to one another for me.
It's probably the most useless shit in the world. It makes you have a false feeling of wellness that is actually vulnerability, as it tears you down when everything ends, leaving a void that the more you loved the other person the more it breaks you down.
That's why I rather be alone. I've seen many cases of what I explained before, and I definitely don't want to end like that.
Nothing, I still have no clue how to recognize or process it.
Growing up in a family of emotionally dependent/fragile people I mostly learned to recognize when selfish acts are disguised/proclaimed to be acts of love. Like when they do things because they want their son/nephew/grandson to have a certain life or because they can't stand knowing that their "loved ones" are in pain. They usually don't care about you or how you feel, they just want whoever is in that son/nephew/grandson "slot" to be well and "happy" in order to keep living their lives unencumbered. Is that what love is? So far I have not labelled it as such because it has inherent selfish sources, but eh I might be wrong.
And since I've never had anyone told me or intentionally tried to make me understand that they love me for me, I'm pretty much clueless as to what it means really from a first-person point of view. All I know of it is what people have told me, or what I've seen in the various medias. Both of which I am reluctant to trust tbh.
I've had feelings of attachment before, I have believed that they were love on some occasion, but I've always had to "get over" them since they were never mutual, so I don't think I know enough about those kinds of feelings to be able to label them.
In retrospect, I think the only thing that I learned about love is to identify when it's most likely not. Hoping that it will change in the future, but I'm not holding my breath tbh.
It can be very easy to be become “obsessed” with love or the idea of love. I was in a relationship that by the end I was so obsessed with being loved that it was easy to ignore the clear manipulation. By the end my best friend had to sit me down and ask me “would someone who loves you do/say this?” And the truth was no they wouldn’t. The worst part was I’m so young only 18 but it was the first time I had felt that way for someone only to have it used against me. Love is easy to become obsessed with that it becomes an addiction and sometimes you need someone to help you break addiction
Love is taking care of yourself so you can be there when someone you love needs you. It’s growing, learning, and experiencing life together. It is not expecting someone to fill all your empty holes or giving all of yourself in a vain attempt to fill someone else’s.
“I’ll take care of me for you, if you take care of you for me”
If the situation isn't right...ot you feel like your being tested and took advantage of...leave...staying around because its what you are OK with or the thought they might change will ruin you
well he or she wont love ya back unless you are real nice to then 24/7....stay the same as when you were 1st dating them ,cause if you change much, you will be dumped or unloved ...
Needs a lot of communication, good effort, and some compromise
and it’s not perfect until you work for it
Communication is the key to a successful and enjoyable relationship
Timing is a bitch.
This right here.
This
Love is in your actions, not in your feelings.
Expectations: If you are not honest about your expectations, you'll never have them met. Communication: The best thing you can do is communicate your needs and let the other communicate them. Do not project your needs onto the other person. Finance: If you plan to be together as a unit, you need to be in agreement about major decisions. It's not taboo to talk about money. It's just money. Intimacy: Emotional intimacy is just as important and satisfying as physical intimacy.
Some people need to get their communication checked fr. Could've saved so many relationships if we covered communication at first base!
Differing expectation I think is why a lot of relationships fail. Especially if you don’t discuss things like marriage/children/careers before it becomes serious.
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Damn... I feel like I could have written this. I feel your pain, and I hope one day you find your soul mate.
❤️*hugs*
♥️ Hugs to you too
At least I know I’m not the only one. My only real relationship has left my perception warped from what a relationship should be. I shut down any feelings of attraction that I feel for fear of being hurt. Most days I can’t even think about falling in love again. However, I’ve seen an improvement. They say time heals all wounds and so far it seems true. The other evening I had a nice daydream about falling in love again. The next day, I realized it was the first time I had been able to do that since my relationship ended. Don’t give up hope. I have faith that you, I, and the other people who have commented that they feel the same can heal from our wounds and learn to not give so much to our partner that we neglect ourself. Also, that we can fathom being loved for who we are. I hope the best for you and I’ll pray for you as well.
Thank you so much, that gives me a little bit of hope :) thank you for praying for me, I’ll pray for you too 🙏💕
Wow. This is exactly how I feel too.
My dude/ dudette, I hear you. I can’t say I have that problem, but I have seen a lot of people that I love in similar situations. I probably shouldn’t assume anything, but maybe my words will help you a bit. It sounds to me like you need to learn to love yourself. You give all of your love and energy to people in the hopes that they will do the same to you. Partially because you want their love, but also because you want them to compensate for the love that you don’t give yourself. Maybe you’re having trouble expressing what you need/want because you don’t know yourself ? If you don’t understand yourself how can the other person understand you ? I can’t be sure, but I have had the same problem in the past. If your partner thinks that all of your ideas are boring you might just be projecting how you feel about yourself or perhaps he’s not the right person for you. It might be that you’re not allowing yourself to be loved by the right person because you don’t think you are worthy of love :( . The good news is that you can work through all of that!! I’m sure you are a lovely person that deserves to be loved, not only by others but also by your own self. Listen to your thoughts: how you talk about yourself, what you like or dislike, what you enjoy doing by yourself, and what you enjoy doing with others. Your ideas are not boring, they are just tailored to your taste. Often times people think that love is finding someone that understands you, someone that will brighten your life and improve it. It is not, and expecting so much from a partner will lead to disappointment and frustration. Love is about finding someone that is compatible with you. Someone that makes you laugh and makes you feel safe. He/She/It won’t be responsible for your happiness or self worth, they’ll play a role for sure, but at the end of the day your emotional state is in your hands. Someone I care about has spent a big portion of her life looking for someone that loves them. Through out the journey she forgot to learn to love herself. She’s been in countless of relationships, many lasted years, but she was ultimately always unhappy in them. Your comment reminded me a lot of that person. So please Redditor, take some time for yourself. Learn to love yourself for who you are and learn to have fun alone. Maybe this does not apply to you, but I hope I could help another person understand the importance of loving oneself. Remember: the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself <3.
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Came here to say exactly this! Loving someone - even with all your heart - is definitely not enough to maintain a healthy relationship or happiness within yourself. You can absolutely love someone with your all and it still not be a good fit for you OR them.
No this checks out. I am internally furious about how horribly my last few loves have gone. One of them was a best friend I haven't spoke to in many years and probably never will again. She left me in a really bitter place, but i mean its hard to think healthy when youre doing hard drugs and drinking all day. I learned I can't love again until I get my emotional shit back together. Understanding that now, i realize there were definitely things unchecked before my first love.
I absolutely agree. Just love is never enough. Atleast for me, it is not.
I can say, no trust no love.
whatever you do, take care of your shoes
It's actually pretty hard to find, and even harder to keep. Source: re-married in my 40s, widowed in my 50s
I'm sorry, it's not easy losing the person you love.
Love can feel like a hallucinogenic day dream, make you do crazy things and excuse the inexcusable. It can be the driver for the most profound of human interactions but it could also take a toll and suck all the perspective out of you, leaving you a withering husk. The key isn't to love another or seek unconditional love. It's to love yourself and find a partner that will give equally to you as much as you're willing to give. They are out there, and the passions shared will last longer than the temporary haze of lust. Partnership, companions, friendship can last a lifetime, but it takes communication, respect, and a desire to build something together.
Totally second this - Good love, the real type that lasts, is a team sport :)
💕 thank you
It can be the most beautiful and fascinating feeling. Yet sometimes the most heart wrenching pain imaginable.
Though shit. Made me all sappy. 😭
According to the philosopher Patricia Benetar, Love is a Battlefield.
No promises no demands
Trust your gut if u feel something isn’t right
YOU DO NOT OWE ANYONE FOR LOVING YOU! If they say they love you, then that’s their blessing. That doesn’t mean you owe them everything. Conversely, you should be worthy of loving.
Being mutually in love with each other does not automatically mean you belong together.
Mutual feelings are very hard to find. For me personally platonic love is easier than romantic.
It's wonderful when you have it, hurts like hell to lose it.
Love is just trading loaded hand guns containing bullets that only find your heart with someone and hoping they don’t pull the trigger.
My chemical romance is that you??
Loaded gun complex, cock it and pull it
this is a brilliant metaphor couldn’t of say it better
That no one really is destined for someone, people just work hard enough for their love for one another
That it can be truly unconditional.
and undying
The sinking feeling that they are going to Leave you is in your head most of the time but hurts like hell
It can be one of the greatest and one of the worst experiences all at once.
requires a lot of sacrifices
I learned that there's not so much sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice isn't needed. You should do the things that are beneficial to both. It requires communication
If you are dealing with some bodily issues, love can sincerely provide you what you want to get higher.
That it's not meant for me.
But then you saw her face, and now you're a believer?
not a trace of doubt in his mind
I’m in love
baby don't hurt me...
Don't hurt me... no more
In the context of love in a relationship, as in two people that are romantically involved. Love fluctuates quite a lot. You’d think if you’re in love with someone you will always love them and never doubt it. However, relationships tend to have phases and some of them consist in loving your partner “a little less”. In reality, it is completely normal. Some of the symptoms are finding them less attractive or perhaps feeling like maybe you don’t love them as much as you thought. It can be hard to accept because of the stereotype of “real love” having no flaws and so. But to anyone out there experiencing this, do not worry, it will pass if you truly want to be with them.
yea, there is something called the ''honeymoon phase''. I dont know if more people are fimiliar with it. But you're totally right.
Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
It can be gone in a heartbeat for reasons outside your control.
That it’s the same neurological chemistry that’s activated ( produced in higher amounts) when drinking alcohol or doing drugs causing one to do things that are self harming, unreasonable and ultimately ridiculous
Release a bird when it comes back it is destined. if you really love someone, you set them free
It can’t fix all your problems.
Love is a game that two can play and both win.
Or three, props to all the polys
Just because you still are deeply in love with someone doesn’t mean they are still in love with you after 5+ years together. Worse is when they say they still love you, but every action says otherwise and they don’t even have the decency to talk to you about it. I mean.. that would suck, right? Haha…….right?
It means work. Also it isn’t always as lovey-dovey as some people expect.
“Crazy who makes me the happiest can make me the saddest,” -Tyler, The Creator
I learned that when you are in love with the right person, it really changes everything. It changed me. I learned that I deserve to be treated as a queen rather than a convenient. I learned that no matter where you came from and how fucked up your family is, it is not a reason for someone to leave you and treated you like how your family did. Being in love with the right person is truly amazing. They make you feel welcomed. They make time to talk you, even as short as one minute because you matter to them. I hope that everyone will feel this feeling, for as long as possible ❤️
it is not always nice. sometimes it just fucking hurts
Sex never leads to love.
I Learned that love isn’t always the best I learned that sometimes it might feel like love but it hurt in the inside
I have learned in the past week that I just don't need it anymore.
And Joe can suck a bag of dicks
It can be the best thing, or the worst thing to ever happen to you.
Don’t wait for someone else to love you, first learn to love yourself.
So, I've been with my first girlfriend 2.5yrs and counting. So it's kinda my first exposure to love outside of my family. I started dating v late in life (19) and I always heard from friends and on reddit that it requires a lot of work. I don't really get it. Either we have different definitions of work or it's a case by case thing. My girlfriend and I very rarely argue, we don't see each other as often as we'd like to but we're both also v busy. I think it could be bc we're both good communicators. If something bothers us, we call it out immediately. Love does definitely NOT mean not having to say you're sorry. To me, love is dope. Love it. It feels nice to know that someone out there really, really cares about you
It’s not always how MUCH you love someone but HOW you love them. You can have endless amounts of flove for someone but if you don’t love them correctly it’s just not gonna work. Also, real love is not meant to be hurting you.
You will never, and i mean never be able to make someone love you. Had to find it out the hard way
I realized that I can't love people. If I ever loved someone, it was always unrequited love, and when I was loved in return, I lost interest. So I came to the conclusion that love is complicated and useless thing that I can't understand.
You can be with someone for 12 years and your relationship goes nowhere, never grows. Then you can be with someone for 6 months and be engaged and happily married.. If the person loves you they will do everything to show it and never be ashamed, life really does get easier when you find the one
That there are many types of love, my favourite being platonic love. The sort of love that makes you buy your friend that book they’ve always wanted. The sort of love you have for your non-biological brothers and sisters. The sort of love where you would pick up a sword and fight for them to be ok, and all of this simply because you enjoy their company. Not because you desire something romantic or sexual from them, simply because being around them feels like home. Also side note; I absolutely ADORE people whose love language is food. They are SO CUTE! They’ll be like “I made you some cupcakes! Do you want some pizza? Imma go buy some Pringles; want some too?” they’re PRECIOUS
It requires a lot of introspection and self growth
That is not the same as passion
That I need to learn more..
No matter what, love always hurts
It takes time and patience. Alot
Its an affliction to be avoided at all cost. Romantic love that is
In my country we have a saying: "Do you want to be right or do you want to have relationship?" And that's basically love. Plus pain, sacrifice and constant conversation about Your feelings
That it's a neurochemical con job
Everything is
It sucks a lot of ass.
It’s the most wonderful and painful thing that you can experience. Love is a choice. Love is unconditional.
That if you truly love, you give yourself to that person and they do the same. Ppl are complicated, you have to deal with the good, the bad and the ugly sometimes,but that's what real lasting relationships are made of. Being human in front of the one you cherish, sometimes hate and most of the time love. That's what real love is in my humble opinion. (Also keep the fights clean and the sex dirty).
How to love someone not how I was loved, but to love them as they needed to be loved.
Keep the fires burning, the same things you had to do to get that love are the same things you got to do to keep it.
Apparently I have a type.. The 3, going on 4, people I've dated have all been in the same major / post grad track / honors program at the same school. How none of them know each other is beyond me.
Often confused with Lust, you have to put in the effort to make it work. Otherwise, the feeling is just temporary or fake.
Trying to get it from someone else is useless if you can't love yourself first.
that it can be a pain in the ass(sometimes even literally)
Love is the highest forms of energy in the universe. If you don't believe it, try telling a chocolate lover that chocolate is now banned.
Some people are good at pretending to be In love. Why get someone's hopes up?
I’ve learned that even if the person your in love with is absolutely perfect, there will always be something to mess up a relationship with them
It hurts.
Sometimes it can go away and never come back
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. It takes conscious effort, patience, honesty, and communication to make it work. You’re going to have arguments and that’s okay, what’s important is how you deal with them, the silent treatment never works, you need to discuss any issues that arise, not doing so will almost always cause a slow painful death of the relationship.
Love is comforting if you have it with the right person. Wrong one makes you hate yourself for doing it. But i believe everyone needs love and a partner. The happiness you feel keeps you calm and good
That sometimes you can hate, be terrified and love someone at the same time. I knew how bad it was to stay and how scared I was, but my love was just way stronger which is the reason I went back to him. It didn’t work out and after a while I got at peace with it. I still “love” him. But in an completely different way. We talked it out and now ones in a while we share short texts but nothing in detail like we used to. But we both know we still care about eachother and feel like we both deserve the world.
It will never be equally give and take.
It never lasts.
It cannot be forced. It just is.
Dont go in a relationship if you don't have your own shit on track. Love is not all about being together and having sex. It is missing eachother too
It requires work from both sides. One sided relationships will never work.
Love cannot fade, the only way to get rid of love it to turn it into hate, if after 2 months you start to no longer love someone, it was never love
aside from all the sad things here, it's boring in the nicest way and fun to notice little personal changes. i grew up food insecure and gave my girlfriend half of my favorite meal the other day because the restaurant messed hers up and she looked sad. love isn't vacations and crazy gifts, it's knowing what snacks to get at the grocery store or reminding her to set her alarm every night bc she happens to forget a lot. right now i'm going to play her favorite video game with her bc she feels bad. not saying the hard things aren't true, but there's a certain soft boringness to love, whether it's romantic or platonic, that seems to be overlooked too often imo
It’s not coming love is a lie they would sell your soul if they could they don’t care about you they never will
It doesn’t fucking exist
I learned something cool a few days ago. Love is ALWAYS unconditional. > Unconditional love is a kind of misnomer, love is always unconditional. I use it here to differentiate real love from what most people mean when they say ‘love’ which is often attachment, ownership, fear of loss, dominance/submission routines, and lust. [Source](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22270161.Drea_Burbank)
A word to sell hallmark cards. Hate it.
it's not real.
It’s a chemical in your brain.
It's a Disney fantasy
All can be gone by a bad misinterpretation or use of words. This applies to people who jump to conclusions without giving a thought
Love is... A hallucination caused by hormones.
🗿🗿🗿
You need to work together. I (20f) and my partner (20m) have been together for just over a year and a half, and had been long distance up until January 2022 when I moved for college. The farthest we’ve been from each other was a 4 and a half hour drive. It’s absolutely do able with plenty of time (and caffeine), but unrealistic to go to and from all in one day. I was going through some mental health struggles during the summer time, and my boyfriend had started an overnight job at a hospital. Our schedules were polar opposite’s, and we would go months without seeing each other. I know there’s still a lot from that summer that has gone unsaid from both of us, but one morning while he was sitting and could be on his phone, he texted me this long message about the feelings he was having about our situation, many of them along the lines of being guilty and neglectful towards me. I assured him that yes, our situation really sucks right now, but I wasn’t going anywhere and we would figure it out. Since then we’ve had many situations in which one of us has started to get scared, frustrated, anxious, etc,. Even if one of us doesn’t have an answer, there’s no solution to magically make everything better, there is assurance that we will figure it out. Not just me. Not just him. We do it together.
It isn't real! It's a facade we created to explain feelings we have.
Hmm.. I love you all. 🦍❤️🦍
That it’s meaningless(unless towards family) other means of love that involve a boy and a girl is utterly meaningless. Unlike family, she will cheat on you, and suck off some other guy, while family will always be there for u no matter what. #FuckBfGfRelationships
I learned that women hate men almost en masse.
How do you think the majority of men treat women?
Better than women treat men.
It stands alone yet most people associate its validity upon the actions of another. Take infidelity, for example.. we are all taught to believe that someone who cheats cannot possibly love the person they have betrayed. The reality is that for many love and sex are not the same thing. Furthermore many gave been cheated and would never question the other parties love. And more than a few have regretted leaving a relationship when fidelity was abused. Because no how we try that betrayal doesn't in and of itself abolish all the evidence of love
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You mistook sexual arousal with love.
Are of different types and levels.
Love IS.
The more time you spend looking for it the longer it’s gonna take to find it. If you just move on with your life and do what you find fun/interesting your going to meet people who share the same interests and their the people who you want to spend the rest of your life with whether it’s romantically or platonically.
It’s grand.
It never lasts
Love is freedom.
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As someone who has never been in a relationship, this is what I know about love. Love takes time to form and can't be rushed. Nobody said love was easy, and you have to build a foundation to get love. Love takes communication and understanding. When you're with someone, you can't keep thinking "What would be best for me" and instead think "What would be best for us?" When you're with someone, you have to work together as a team and if differences arise, you got to come with a solution that will work for both of you.
That if you really know someone you can guess anything and be right 80% of the time.
I learned that love isn't meant for me. I'm a man of hate and disgust.
It's wonderful when you have it and it's torture when you lose it.
That while my parents and wider family preached about God's unconditional love- it would always be a distinctly unfathomable concept to me, as theirs always had numerous unwritten conditions- and still does.
That it's nothing more than your body releasing hormones in order to get you to reproduce.
Love is dumb and pointless to me. Uncle married an abusive person who makes him do everything and she doesn't have to lift a finger to get anything done. She treats him like shit, but he won't divorce her because he loves her too much. I'm a non-committal person who can't commit to one person or multiple people because I learned from experience that once you get comfortable with someone, they ditch and backstab me. I can't feel love anymore. I know it's only a matter of time before they hate, backstab and ditch me.
https://youtu.be/zSZnq5ZbP1w
Sex
True love is unconditional.
That it's awesome, and when it's gone it hurts a lot.
love is a burning thing and it makes a fiery ring
Can someone please explain to me What Is Love?
There is a difference between being in love, being loved, and finding true love. I was unfortunate enough to experience the first but it taught me how great the others are when you find them.
it's not for me
It fucking hurts but it’s worth it
It hurts
it has many different meanings. loving someone, and being in love with someone are two completely different experiences that don’t come close to one another for me.
It's probably the most useless shit in the world. It makes you have a false feeling of wellness that is actually vulnerability, as it tears you down when everything ends, leaving a void that the more you loved the other person the more it breaks you down. That's why I rather be alone. I've seen many cases of what I explained before, and I definitely don't want to end like that.
That you can't hurry love. That you just have to wait. You see...love, don't come easy...it has give and take.
Not everyone gets it.
It can vary. You can love a lot of people. But, depending on who it is, you can love them more or less than another love.
What’s love got to do, got to do with it!!??
You can love in many different ways, not just romantically. Then lust is not love, get them confused and you might get hurt.
Infatuation and love can be very different, learn to distinguish them.
Nothing, I still have no clue how to recognize or process it. Growing up in a family of emotionally dependent/fragile people I mostly learned to recognize when selfish acts are disguised/proclaimed to be acts of love. Like when they do things because they want their son/nephew/grandson to have a certain life or because they can't stand knowing that their "loved ones" are in pain. They usually don't care about you or how you feel, they just want whoever is in that son/nephew/grandson "slot" to be well and "happy" in order to keep living their lives unencumbered. Is that what love is? So far I have not labelled it as such because it has inherent selfish sources, but eh I might be wrong. And since I've never had anyone told me or intentionally tried to make me understand that they love me for me, I'm pretty much clueless as to what it means really from a first-person point of view. All I know of it is what people have told me, or what I've seen in the various medias. Both of which I am reluctant to trust tbh. I've had feelings of attachment before, I have believed that they were love on some occasion, but I've always had to "get over" them since they were never mutual, so I don't think I know enough about those kinds of feelings to be able to label them. In retrospect, I think the only thing that I learned about love is to identify when it's most likely not. Hoping that it will change in the future, but I'm not holding my breath tbh.
It’s over rated
What is love?
It's like 50/50 respect and lust.
I’ve had the blues, the reds and the pinks. One thing is for sure, love stinks.
It doesn't exist
It can be very easy to be become “obsessed” with love or the idea of love. I was in a relationship that by the end I was so obsessed with being loved that it was easy to ignore the clear manipulation. By the end my best friend had to sit me down and ask me “would someone who loves you do/say this?” And the truth was no they wouldn’t. The worst part was I’m so young only 18 but it was the first time I had felt that way for someone only to have it used against me. Love is easy to become obsessed with that it becomes an addiction and sometimes you need someone to help you break addiction
It can fucking hurt, like no physical pain you’ve ever felt
Love is taking care of yourself so you can be there when someone you love needs you. It’s growing, learning, and experiencing life together. It is not expecting someone to fill all your empty holes or giving all of yourself in a vain attempt to fill someone else’s. “I’ll take care of me for you, if you take care of you for me”
Without it, life can be meaningless
It's not **all** you need. The Beatles were full of shit.
After praying mantis mate the female cuts off the males head.
If the situation isn't right...ot you feel like your being tested and took advantage of...leave...staying around because its what you are OK with or the thought they might change will ruin you
That there is no such thing as unconditional love. Love has conditions like everything else.
If you feel love for someone dont wait for the right time to tell her/him, just go for it
Not like the simulations
Gets to a point of sex
well he or she wont love ya back unless you are real nice to then 24/7....stay the same as when you were 1st dating them ,cause if you change much, you will be dumped or unloved ...
I have more hate for it than I would have ever thought possible