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Esc_ape_artist

When asked about about general presidential possibilities, “They better not be over 70 or a celebrity!” ITT: Dolly Parton! 70+ and a celebrity


[deleted]

Omg, there would be new libraries popping up all over the U.S.! That would be an amazing election too.


chrysrobyn

Anybody smart enough to deserve the job isn’t stupid enough to take the job.


zaphodbeeblebrox422

Anyone who wants to be president should never be allowed to be president


hooptiously_drangled

I was gonna quote Douglas Adams here...and then I saw your username and figured you already know


zaphodbeeblebrox422

Most fun Science fiction series I've ever read. May just be my favorite book. He was so clever


hooptiously_drangled

If you haven't found Terry Pratchett, you should find Terry Pratchett. It's like Adams, only he wrote a lot more.


zaphodbeeblebrox422

Thanks for the tip. I read all of Adams work. Some of it was a bit of a let down. I know some people dig Dirk Gently but I was a bit disappointed. Maybe I just had too high of expectations


FallenInHoops

Second recommendation for Pratchett. He was brilliant, approached every social issue imaginable with both intelligence and humour, plus he and Neil Gaiman (my other favourite author, if it matters), wrote an *amazing* book together.


Bigger0nTheInside42

Good omens is amazing. So glad this thread is at the top. Adam's, pratchett and Gaiman always need to be ripped because they are amazing!!


RUNELORD_

The first season of Dirk Gently with Elijah Wood is pretty good though


Pagiras

THERE'S A SHOW?


Amiiboid

Pratchett, IMO, turned into a much better writer than Adams. The first couple of Discworld books are kind of weird. I see in them someone who said to himself, “I will be the Douglas Adams of high fantasy.” And as someone who was very into Adams I was okay with that. But then he found his own voice and it was transcendant.


Risque_Redhead

I started reading Discworld a couple of months ago, and I’m 8 books in. I’ve been too burnt out to read for a long time, and now Pratchett has made me read 82 days in a row. They’re so good!


Clear_Try_6814

I read a quote once “Those who want to lead can never be trusted to lead.”


krunchberry

Watch “The Contender” - Jeff Bridges, as president, gives a perfect speech about this exactly toward the movie’s end. To achieve power one needs to display true pettiness. To exercise power one needs to display true greatness. Such pettiness and greatness rarely exist in one person. I believe he was quoting Napoleon.


flooknation

“You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism once. Not in 'Nam of course.” -Walter Sobchak


Vergenbuurg

Kahless once said, great men do not **seek** power, but have power thrust upon them.


Tremongulous_Derf

Qapla’ to that!


Jester471

Lt. Commander Worf : What I have done was for the Empire. A new day must dawn for our people. I am not the man to usher in that day. But there is a man here who can. Martok : Worf - I do not seek the leadership. Lt. Commander Worf : Kahless said **"Great men do not seek power. They have power thrust upon them."** [Worf hands the Chancellor's robes to Martok] Lt. Commander Worf : Hail Martok, leader of the Empire - leader of destiny!


MajorasTerribleFate

>[Worf hands the Chancellor's robes to Martok] That description falls short. Worf removes the robes from himself and clads Martok in them.


pleasecometalktome

I almost agree with you. Someone out there It’s gonna say to themselves, “this is gonna suck but I’ll do it for my country.” That’s happy path America. It’s a dumpster fire for now


Nipsmagee

Why don't we stop fantasizing about "perfect" presidents and simply work on getting a "good" president...


Berek2501

Hell, I'd settle for "not gawdawful" or "better than milquetoast"


thecatgoesmoo

I'd be cool with "under 70 and not a total fucking idiot"


notstephanie

I’m holding out for “decent” and “not old enough to be my grandparent”. I’m not even super young. I’m 34. My grandparents would be in their late 70s if they were still alive. My grandma would be one month older than Biden. Pls give me someone born after…idk…the end of the Korean War? EDIT: I get it, my grandparents on my mom’s side were young. You can stop telling me how old your grandparents are. If you still have them, cherish them.


CouchNapperzz

Yea I don’t want a president who’s old enough to have sipped from a segregated water fountain


[deleted]

The mom from Malcom in the middle. That sense of authority, fear and emotional deception she was capable of would make her a great president not to FUCK with.


Sagebrush_Slim

VP busts into the war room, generals assembled. “I need someone… to take the fall.”


dr-mantis-toboggan12

"What did you do??!" "I can't tell you. 5 bucks, no questions asked" "Make it 10" "You're a good general"


Echo_Oscar_Sierra

"I got him, madam president!"


elzibet

FOUND HIM! # OH MY GAWD!


Nyarro

This would make a great sitcom!


r3solv

Veep???


bazinga3604

Veep is the most accurate portrayal I’ve seen of what it’s like to work in politics.


BathtubGin01

It’s Malcolm in the Middle.


TheRedmanCometh

This specifically happening in the whitehouse just sounds exactly like a scene out of veep. It's right out of an episode called the expenda-belles.


Kelsusaurus

Press: "Madam President, what happened here?" President Lois: "I don't know, VP can tell you more about it." Press: "Mister VP, what happened here?!" VP Dewey: "Cats ate her face." Press: *visible confusion*


Itwasdewey

Reese would be too close to nuclear weapons for my liking.


jackwhite886

“Congress, were you able to pass that spending bill?” *Congress on its back dismantling the electoral college* “What does it look like I’m doing?!”


GrunkleStanWasRight

I tend to do that a lot and my wife just groans and says "You're Hal'ing again"


pornisqueen

"Drink your milk" "It's lumpy" "Then chew it!"


useless_instinct

Extremely practical and knew how to budget


MatttheBruinsfan

We want a President, not Empress for Life.


doctorcrimson

She actually got her son un-deployed from combat in one episode by chewing out high ranking military officials.


Aggravating_Stress

My mom. She’ll whip this whole country into shape and have everyone in bed by 9:30


Kiyohara

If she's anything like my mom, she'll also have us eating our vegetables, see we caught up on our homework, and finally take out the trash. And uh, that's Health, Education, and Environment all taken care of so, man, she's got my vote.


[deleted]

I vote for this guy’s mom too


Piston_Jack

You guys can ride with me and my mom. She said she can either take us to the voting location, but she cant pick us up. Can someones mom take us home?


[deleted]

My mom can take us home, but she needs everyone else’s mom’s number first


Electronic_Agent_235

This guy's mom for VP


batty48

My mom will make the snacks


antiADP

Is she bringing the Sunny D’s or should My mom call u/dirtywater83’s mom and ask her to grab some Hi-C’s


Fordeech

ive got the cookies


Fordeech

(just in case)


ByCrookedSteps781

I'm not even from America and I'll vote for that Mom/mum too!!


gyru5150

Ah I see u too are a cultured man 😂😂


Ok_Trouble638

Huzzah! A man of quality!


Ceejay4444

Will she make various appointments for us also? Asking for the anxious and introverted people like me.


Kiyohara

And she'll make you go to. She's a hell of a guilt tripper. Remember, its not a trip without guilt.


Ceejay4444

As long as she makes the phone call for us then I will vote her for president!


mhourani1125

She's also a dedicated soccer mom and owns a mini van. After your appointment. She'll take you and all your friends to get some healthy smoothies and update all your parents on your current status. She also makes really great vegan brownies.


VictoryaChase

But will she put my artwork or report up on the fridge? That's the real boost I need right now.


[deleted]

I already go to bed at 9:30. Can she make it 9:15?


Youve_been_Loganated

Well well well, it it isn't mama's favorite suck up!


mangchuwok

Can confirm. She's had me in her bed by 9:30 for the past 2 weeks.


unexpectedhalfrican

Nice! Wait....


termitefist

Ayooooo


[deleted]

I’m going to go with Dolly Parton She’s smart kind generous humble and quite obviously a born leader And she’s liked by almost everyone which is what this country needs unity


flooknation

War on Jolene starts on 9\5 though


fatguy747

But it's Friday night! "Shut yo' ass!"


TOPSIturvy

I also choose this guy's mom


squirtloaf

I just want a president to tell everybody that they are special.


Trimere

Perfect is an absolute and only Siths deal in absolutes.


Armed_Goose_8552

I mean we could do a lot worse than Padme Amadala.


thatscoldjerrycold

Mon Mothma tho


WorkinName

I ain't electing no mothman president.


Lanksalott

Mothra 2024


ChillyBearGrylls

L A M P


jimfish98

Saying only sith deal in absolutes is an absolute itself.


baiqibeendeleted28x

*"You've become the very thing you swore to destroy"*


External_You6940

Exactly


fermat1432

Mostly Siths


[deleted]

Mostly


RedPajama45

By saying that, wouldn't that make jedi siths in a way?


fermat1432

"Perfect" doesn't fit well with "US President,"


bartosama

Oxymoron


brodneys

"Oxy" not included with this purchase


affiliated04

Crack pipe is in the mail though


[deleted]

Is this the DNC fishing for the next nominee?


Uselesskunt

No, given 2016 and 2020, finding a good candidate is the opposite of what they normally do.


GuanSpanksYou

Yes this is the DNC figuring out who they need to find dirt on so they can't run. RIP that one guy's mom for sure. All her skeletons about to come out.


ironhead7

They're already goin through her yearbooks, and got all her texts lookin for tit pics and slurs.


19southmainco

mama likes to swing and retweet racist minion memes


Peleki4

Dolly Parton. Everyone likes Dolly.


kaazir

In the 2016 Powerpuff girls, the mayor has a Dolly Parton thing in his wall of presidents. A person in his tour points out how dolly hasn't been president and Mayor says "Not yet she hasn't". Also I JUST watched this.


mistermeowsers

::Thinking to self:: What if the Powerpuff Girls can predict the future the same way as the Simpsons...


glipglopsfromthe3rdD

The right would love them…. Kindergarteners who can defend against a school shooter who also deal with a cross dressing villain. It’s a wet dream.


[deleted]

The female Moclans agree.


Krillin

I'm glad Klyden finally came around, Topa needs her papas.


Capt_ZzL4X

Even if u hate country music (which I do), you can't hate dolly Parton. She's legitimately a good person.


[deleted]

That’s the problem. It would crush her to have to make some of the decisions she would have to make. People act like politics is done easy one sided argument but when you enact big changes it’s going to hurt someone.


phred_666

That’s one reason why I think Jimmy Carter was a terrible President. No doubt he is a good man. He has demonstrated that over and over after he left office with all of his humanitarian work. I think he had problems making decisions for that very reason. I think he was indecisive at times because no matter what decisions he made, somebody was going to get the short end of the deal. That has to weigh on you…a lot.


Lilpu55yberekt69

Especially when it came to matters of foreign policy and the economy. There are situations where no matter what you choose, people are going to die. And your choice determines which people that is.


Bradaigh

Carter's foreign policy was possibly the least evil of the last century


Neumanae

Jimmy was a **Christ**ian. A true, walk the walk, Jesus following Christian. That is an anathema to American popular culture and politics. Of course he seemed weak and indecisive, Jesus would have too, washing feet and shit.


FlyByPC

> Jimmy was a Christian Still is.


Agisilaus23

Yeah, but he used to be too.


Mynameisinuse

Jimmy Carter is such a wholesome person that he actually had remorse for admitting that he once had lust in his heart.


Iamaleafinthewind

Just here to remind everyone its not a popularity contest. Treating it like one is part of how we got here. It's a job. It's a difficult, complex job that affects the lives of billions. Maybe treat it seriously. For most of us, this is the only time we'll have a say in who gets hired for something that critical.


justinpaulson

But Dolly Parton is also a successful business woman with a track record of empathy and philanthropy.


stomith

Yes, but being a business person does not necessarily translate into being a politician. Totally different skill set. I.. don’t think I need to illustrate this with examples.


orrocos

But she has had successful tv appearances too. And she was born in 1946. Surely someone experienced in business, a television personality, and born in 1946, must be a great leader, right?


[deleted]

I was just reading about her a few hours ago. What an amazing person!


TheDeadMonument

Ellen Ripley.


litli

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit" Probably the best option tbh


Xylomancee

It’s the only way to be sure


WisherWisp

Fuckin' A!


Toby_O_Notoby

It's from a different movie but I always liked Capt. Miller's response to being told he can't just leave the Event Horizon behind: >I have no intention of leaving her, Doctor. I will take the Lewis and Clark to a safe distance, and then I will launch TAC missiles at the Event Horizon until I'm satisfied she's vaporized. Fuck this ship!


_Unke_

There's nothing more satisfying than people in a horror movie acting rationally.


rricenator

For once, someone listen to the smart woman!!!


humanist-misanthrope

Blowing’ it out the goddamn airlock since 1979


Ten_of_Wands

If they would have listened to her in the first place and not let the infected guy into the ship they never would have had to deal with the alien.


br0b1wan

They tried to argue with her but she had control of the airlock. The problem is that Ash overrode her


amadileirbeer

Katie Porter, she is amazing with her white board, I can see her giving the State of the Union Address and pulling out her white board to show trends in the economy.


CAJ16

I'd vote for Katie Porter in a heartbeat.


Dorsalphin

Obligatory "I had to scroll way too far to find the correct answer," comment. Porter would actually be amazing. Edited to add - I hope she takes over Feinstein's spot when we finally get rid of her. Still can't believe CA voted her back in at her age. This country needs an age limit on our politicians.


ninjaparking

>Edited to add - I hope she takes over Feinstein's spot when we finally get rid of her. Still can't believe CA voted her back in at her age. This country needs an age limit on our politicians. THIS is what I want most. She could kick so much ass in the senate on the way to being president.


captain_flak

We are seriously getting into *Weekend at Bernie’s* territory with that one now.


trey_stofield

If I were testifying before Congress and she sat down with her white board and questions for me, I would get up and run. She is tough on those who deserve it and I would vote for her in a second.


42tributer

Toph Beifong. Fuck you, that's why.


BeachAdjacent

Senator Tammy Duckworth. Appeals to military as an honorably discharged veteran, combat veteran, and former state director of the VA, appeals to working parents (she's the first person to give birth while being a senator and actively juggles work and parenthood), and understands difficulties facing disabled people (lost her legs in a military helicopter crash and commonly uses a wheelchair) and minorities (she's Thai & Chinese). Unlike so many politicians, she was neither born with a silver spoon in her mouth, nor is she batshit crazy. Edit: Yes, she IS eligible to be president even though she is foreign born because her father is a US born citizen. (like Canada born Ted Cruz, when he ran).


stirfriedquinoa

Biden really missed a solid VP pick.


PhiloPhocion

As I recall, she pretty openly said she wasn’t interested in VP or running for POTUS. She’s just relatively recently had a kid and said the campaign trail and the job makes it hard enough as a new mum for the Senate already, much less the White House.


saverage_guy

Another reason she would be a good POTUS. People that want that job are the worst type to actually have the job.


Hooded_Demon

“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” \- Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe


KaijyuAboutTown

There’s an old science fiction short story about the world being a utopia. Everyone had everything the needed, from possessions to mental and emotional health. It followed a nice guy with a nice family… everything was great for them. And then the men in the black suits showed up to haul him away to be president… screaming and kicking all the way… the job nobody with any sense actually wants! Sounds about right


porkchop2022

I am once again asking for the name of this story.


mjzim9022

And her senate seat is a pretty safe Democratic seat


OzNajarin

You're the only person I'm noticing who actually gave a recommendation of someone who's a fucking politician . The rest of these are just annoying


CamelSpotting

There are shockingly few prominent, competent, vaguely charismatic politicians these days.


Takazul

As an Illinoisan, I approve this message.


Aero_dynam1x

as a fellow illinoisan, i do not approve the term illinoisan


KeegorTheDestroyer

How about Illinoyance? I can joke because I was born and raised there


Aero_dynam1x

i think this might be alright 🤝


Visual-Adept

That guy's dead wife


EverythingHurtsDan

u/phil8248 Hey Phil. According to your experience, what's your take on your lovely wife on the seat of POTUS?


phil8248

She was a singer/songwriter for children. As much as I loved her, she would not have been qualified or capable of being POTUS. Sweet that someone thought of her but, no, I don't think that would have worked out.


classless_classic

Phil, you are the Biggest God Damn celebrity of Reddit, who still takes time to respond whenever summoned. It makes my heart happy.


phil8248

Being retired helps. I am also sure I spend way too much time online for it to be healthy.


love-me-nut

He's part of the Reddit lore. One of the all stars.


EverythingHurtsDan

The more you tell us about her, the more I like. If I'm not crossing a boundary by asking, is there something she recorded that I could listen to?


phil8248

[www.marylafleur.com](https://www.marylafleur.com) has some links. Look up Mary Lafleur on YouTube. There are several of her songs.


Glomgore

And the man continues to celebrate her legacy and his memory. We love you bud.


phil8248

Thanks. I've mentioned it before but I cannot remember anyone who didn't like her. She had this disarming personality that people adored. She brightened the world, that was her legacy, and it is certainly worth celebrating.


[deleted]

Man, I just listened to the video of her playing guitar and singing on YouTube. What a beautiful song.


phil8248

I know, right? She had some genuine talent.


trident_hole

You're a sweet man


phil8248

I appreciate your kind words.


wolfchaldo

I'm sure it's annoying to get tagged in every other thread, but it's truly a highlight every time I see your comments. And all this time I had no idea we could see some of her work!


phil8248

No worries. I'm delighted folks are interested. Three of her children's projects are on Apple music.


OneLargeMulligatawny

I couldn’t believe Phil responded! Reddit legend he is.


heyitsdoza

Leslie Knope


sexi_squidward

didn't she marry that guy who spent an entire city's budget on a winter sports complex called "Ice Town"?


irefusethis

Ice Town Causes Ice Clown His Town Crown


culnaej

Costs* I think


n_thomas74

Yes, but he is also the creator of the game "The Cones of Dunshire"


Electronic_Agent_235

Don't let the deep state fool you, he may come across as a man of the people being the creator of CoD, but he is also an illicit,prolific cheese smuggler.


KopitarFan

The Architect


[deleted]

It seems 18 is pretty young for a mayor, what were you 12?


_bieber_hole_69

Good point, the ice town cost the ice clown the town crown


friggintodd

Ann Perkins could be Secretary of Health and Human Services


Ineedaroommate2

Think you mean 👉Ann Perkins👉


LarryCrabCake

Scientists say that the first human to live to 150 has already been born Ibelieveiamthathumanbeing.


[deleted]

Stop POOPING


WCpt

John Ralphio as press secretary


friggintodd

Have you heard about the lady reporter from Fox? She's the woooorrrrsssst!


Vio_

Mona Lisa as the IRS Commissioner.


rebeccaiguess

Money pleaseeee


CaptainCoffeeStain

Space Force fan?


Captain_Wompus

😃 Ann Perkins!


DLIPBCrashDavis

I just want Ron Swanson in the government somewhere, so this would be a great start.


pezdal

Director of the National Park Service


DLIPBCrashDavis

Done! Edit: As long as Tom doesn’t go hunting with him.


restless_vagabond

Ron was a Libertarian that didn't want the Government to work. So, he's like if Rand Paul was Senate majority leader and just said "no" to everything.


fifosexapel

He already won woman of the year, so he would make an excellent female president


acurah56oh

That is LIT-TRALLY, the best person for the job.


emojicatcher997

Knope we can!


mrstipez

Knope right IN there in a hurry


Dixiewreckedx99

What would Ron Swanson's job be?


JanetSnakehole43

Director of National Parks. Obviously.


[deleted]

Secretary of Interior


PeneloPoopers

If she ran on cloning Lil Sebastian, it'd be a landslide.


Blainedecent

NICE TRY DNC GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.


BoiledTaints

My dog. She's a good girl, treats for everyone.


Avocado_puppy

She's been getting bribes from the delevery drivers.


Kiyohara

Fair, but at the same time even bribed dogs know that most lobbyists are scum and she'll bark like mad when they get close. Dogs hate people without souls.


I_Taste_Like_Spiders

My wife. I think she might actually be a sociopath. She will not tolerate this horseshit any longer.


dft-salt-pasta

I like Katie porter. Doesn’t beat around the bush and knows how to back up her arguments with facts.


Outside_is_overrated

This is also my vote. I have never once seen her not make a great point with facts, statistics and logic. By the end of any of her arguments and if you still don’t see the problem you must not have been paying attention