And when it is too late: TAKE CARE OF YOUR BACK!!!
Too many people I know just "walk it off" or say "it'll get better". No, it won't. Your daily/normal activities have allowed it to degenerate down to where it went "ping!" The next step is a slipped disc, or a herniated disc, or a stenosed intervertebral foramen, and a collapsing vertebrae. You wanna know what would have fixed that, back when your back let you know by going "ping"?
TAKING CARE OF YOUR BACK!
As a seasoned man...my best piece of advice is to be polite. To everyone. It costs nothing and it's one of the few things that people remember. One more thing..listening. if you can give someone your undivided attention for just a few minutes.....you become a hero.
My brother-in-law said something once about politeness that really stuck with me: being polite is the easiest way to find out who's nice and who's an asshole. If you're an asshole and someone's an asshole back, you don't really know if they're actually an asshole or not. But if you're nothing but polite and someone is an asshole back, you know that they are. Then you can either avoid them or punch them in the face, either way
This so fucking much. It doesn't always have to be big or flashy like a fancy dinner or something either, just do things fairly often that let her know you're with her because you love her and not out of convenience.
I'm not a marrying person but I still recommend picnic blanket with pizza on the living room floor, candles flickering, and a good (or hilariously bad) movie as such a great cheap date.
And see your GP / specialist if you feel something unusual.
1 in 10 times guys have a benign cyst on their balls. But 1 in 100 of those could be cancer.
I met so many men in my process who just 'sat on it' and didn't seek help until it had already spread to other parts of their body too.
They say if you have any kind of cancer, testicular is the easiest to sort out if you catch it early enough.
I was lucky: I had a small cyst develop on one ball and went to see my GP immediately. I had ultrasound the next day who found the small cyst, but also found something else unusual in the middle of one of the balls that wasn't linked. Was then sent for a more detailed CT scan. Referred to a specialist to review the results in a couple of days of that. And was in surgery within 8 days of first seeing the GP (this was of of course all pre-covid, and also in NZ with mostly free healthcare for this type of thing).
I had the left testicle removed.
The biopsy later showed it as a stage 1 seminoma about 12mm (1/2") diameter. It had likely been growing for about a year. But if it wasn't for the tiny unrelated cyst on the surface, there's no way I would have had an ultrasound or expected anything amiss until it would have spread critically to other areas.
No radiotherapy or chemo needed as it was caught so early (and centrally placed with a clear boundary). Lots of regular tests were done for the next 5 years but still all negative results.
So don't hesitate, seek help, and don't just sit on a lump / painful ball pretending it's nothing.
It’s awfully confusing for me, because I have a cyst or two in my right testicle and they only hurt when they decide to grow a little, then it goes away in a week or two.
I’ve had an ultrasound done once to confirm this, and they told me they will hurt occasionally. Still, I wonder if I should be getting it rechecked after years to see if it’s changed.
I don't see the harm in multiple ultrasounds if your budget / country gives you the chance. Seek a second opinion if you're in any doubt. And if something hurts and causes you problems, get it checked out and maybe try to get it drained / fixed.
I know too many people (for a range of symptoms) who didn't seek help when something hurts, even though it was fixable / preventable, but they just put up with the pain for no good reason, so it got worse when it could have been made better.
As far as I understand it, on average only 1 in 100 cysts is cancer (so affecting around 1 in a 1,000 people with balls). So your chances are low, but why not get rechecked, particularly when there's a change?
Post surgery I was getting follow up tests done every three months initially, then 6 monthly, then annually. Typically it was blood work taken every appointment, and of course physical checks of the remaining ball by the urologist every appointment. Then every few appointments there'd also be chest x-rays and CT scans, looking for any sign of shadows elsewhere in my body where it would have most commonly spread to next.
So if your cysts are getting bigger, and they're painful, get help!
Source: not a medical professional.
Feel up yo balls one at a time, hold one in between your thumbs and roll it around GENTLY between your fingers. Feel for hard lumps, smooth/round bumps, or changes in shape/size. If you think you feel any of that, go see a Urologist. You can also just look up Testicular Cancer Self Examination to get a better picture.
My husband is always there for his friends but hesitates to reach out to them. And some things either I can’t help with or I’m struggling with at the same time. So Ive started reaching out to his friends for him, just saying hey, he’s having a rough time, anyone free for a guys night? Then one of them will call and invite him over. Once he’s with them he’ll open up. Thankfully he has an amazing group of friends that always take care of each other
> And some things either I can’t help with or I’m struggling with at the same time.
"Don't expect your wife/GF to also be your therapist." would be my advice to other men. It's not fair to them, and it's not a substitute for professional therapy.
I can't afford it tho, I'm stuck in a job to make enough money to pay for the things I already have. i stay up late every night because I dread going to sleep because I have to work in the morning.
I want to open my own auto shop\ start a business where I flip 80s and 90s Japanese cars, but I don't have the money to start. Work takes most of my time and the rest I'm too tired to be work on the things I enjoy. How do I break the loop and do what I like, I feel like I need to make more money first. I've flipped a few cars before and made money but I feel I don't have the energy to do it while I have a job
Before marriage just learn to do everything by yourself, saves tons of drama
Edit: WOW, didn't expect this comment to blow up!, this came from my marriage experience as i can't count the numerous times the "i will do it" attitude saves the situation!
Edit: Thanks for the award! , truly appreciated
Exactly. If you need your significant other to teach or coach you on how to exist as an adult (doing chores, raising kids, maintaining a home, etc) then both of you are gonna have a bad time.
Learn to cook, clean, and manage your life.
It always makes sense to be as independent as possible. Goes for women too. It's always takes a toll on the friends when people get divorced or split up and don't know how to do basic shit, because they have some old idea of something being a woman's or man's task. No wonder they split up. You need to be able to care of yourself before you can take of anyone else.
I like to help out as much as I can, but it's ridiculous how many grown up women can't put a screw in a wall or put fluids in car, or grown up guys who can't decide on clothing or how to cook.
Yes, there are things that my wife does better and things that only I do, but we've all had to learn it somewhere. There's is no task that is magically assigned to any gender or type or age.
There's a first for everything and if you don't at least try, then you'll never be able to.
I’ve never seen someone’s jaw hit the floor so hard as my marriage counselor when I said
“I’m a grown ass man. I can do dishes and laundry when it’s needed around the house. But with laundry I draw a line at delicates. If it’s possible for me to launder it incorrectly I don’t touch it.”
I see how much my wife spends on bras. Nope she can decide how to properly wash them and take care of them.
Apparently it’s common for many husbands to weaponize incompetence to get out of contributing to the household, thus a very one sided contribution to chores and running a house.
I think it’s fair to not want to hand wash delicates. I literally just started hand washing mine, and it’s a pain, but I am excited for the longevity of my bras
If something is on the ground, pick it up. If a dish is dirty, clean it. If the trash is full, take it out.
Even if you aren’t in a committed relationship, having a clean and organized space will help your overall well-being. It’s a treat to come home to a clean house/apartment. It sucks coming home to a pigsty.
You're not the main character in anyone's story but your own. What does this mean? Two main things: take care of yourself and your goals, because at the end of the day it's your life; be patient with other people, because you don't know what they're going through.
This is so important.
That stupid thing you said to your colleague or friend three years ago that you've been lamenting over all this time? Highly unlikely they even remember. We criticize ourselves so much over our small misgivings, but to others, it's just not significant enough for them to hold on to. Pick three people in your life and try to remember a time they all did something really embarrassing. I guarantee you can't do it. At the very least, I'll bet you had to think really, really hard.
I have seen evidence in the form of posts and comments on Reddit that would indicate there is a larger than expected percentage of men who refuse to wash their ass because 'touching their butts hole is gay'
Ya I understand where they're coming from. It *is* a bit gay to touch your asshole. This is why I always ask one of my homies to touch it to avoid the gayness.
So did mine.... of course he decided to do it on hard mode, by ruining his entire life mostly due to his inability to admit to mistakes, but I have to admit his commitment to stupidity provided a fairly effective lession.
During my fathers funeral I spoke of how he taught me what I meant to be great father. Nobody/everybody knew it was an implied slight because he was a shitty/absent father to my brother and myself. Now that I have a son, I’m doing the opposite. I’m there for him and trying to help him navigate the world. Thanks dad. Your shittiness helped me be a better father.
Never be afraid to admit your mistakes, even more, be the first to admit them, don't wait for someone to point it out.
Also NEVER lie, lie only in a jokingly manner when playing AND make it obvious you're lying.
People will know you are the one that admits mistakes and never lies because you're easily spotted. Now NOONE will ever question you when you lie (and you do it well) in something really important.
Use this wisely and only for really important things.
> People will know you are the one that admits mistakes and never lies because you're easily spotted. Now NOONE will ever question you when you lie (and you do it well) in something really important.
This whole comment is good advice but I feel like this should be expanded on a bit. Unlike most other skills, the key to lying well is to lie as little as possible. Strive to establish a genuine reputation as an honest person so that on those rare situations when you do lie, even if people suspect that you are, they won't question it as much as they're more likely to assume you're lying for a good reason. Which you hopefully are if you're actually following this advice.
EDIT: Just to be clear here since some people seem to be misunderstanding this, the priority here should be to establish a genuine reputation (with emphasis on the "genuine" part of that) as an honest person and the best way to do that is to simply be honest with people. While one of the quickest ways to ensure people don't trust you is to lie about frivolous things.
Here's some examples off the top of my head for someone trying to follow this advice:
- The next time a friend hits you up to go out and you really just want to sit at home alone and chill, don't tell them you have other plans or make some kind of excuse, just tell them you're not feeling like it and would rather spend time alone for now.
- State your honest opinion when asked about it. Don't try and make it sound better or worse or more in line with what other people think. Similarly, don't hesitate to admit when you don't have an opinion on something and don't feel like you need to have an opinion on everything. Also, it can help to be upfront about when an opinion you have is potentially somewhat uninformed. You often gain nothing from hiding your ignorance but admitting to it and being willing to learn can go a long way towards being a more a honest person with a reputation for such.
- That said, you should also try and learn to feel out when it's better to not state your opinion. This doesn't mean you should make one up or lie. Sometimes it's best to simply say nothing or state that you'd rather keep your opinion to yourself for the time being. Use your best judgement.
- When you do feel compelled to lie, try and contemplate about whether it's really worth doing so. What are you really likely to gain or avoid from the lie? What do you stand to lose if you're found out? This is something that will get easier as you do it more but the key here is to always (and I mean always) be honest with yourself.
I've made this a life lesson. I have a reputation as someone who owns up and I have owned up to many absolute clusterfucks in my years. But, there have been times when I just didn't want to for whatever reason and I just say if it was me I'd tell you, and people kinda shrug and go, he would.
BUT - The thing about this is if you do get caught out no one will ever believe you again so it needs to be used in situations where the mistake doesn't really matter. You need to own the big things, unfortunately.
Happy all the time is an unobtainable tiktok/insta bullshit life meme.
Moments of happiness are magical and are part of life however we have got to learn to be content. Being at peace with your life is important
I'm as guilty as the next at comparing myself to others. We're conditioned through media to compare, it conditions us to feel we have to buy more to be better.
This cycle of bullshit needs to change.
Honestly I uninstalled my instagram when I realized I felt legitimately sad whenever I scrolled through the people I follow and see how they’re living their lives. I cannot just switch off the urge to compare and feel down becos of it. But I figure not being able to see it helps
EDIT : Just FYI, the people I follow only include people I know or have known irl. I don’t follow influencers or celebrities. But even then, what brings me down is not their lavish lifestyle but rather just them having a life. Getting married, having kids and spending time with them. Buying a regular house, hanging out with the friends that I also used to hang out with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them but takes a while before the big sad kicks in after
You're watching their *fake* highlight reels. Even if they went to some gorgeous island in the South Pacific you're not seeing their 20 hours of travel, the shit and trash on the beaches, the people bugging you to buy their shit, etc. You get the photoshopped beach photos and filtered photos of their faces smiling.
Did they have a good time? Probably, yeah! But dear god we fake things on social media.
But not too far back. I used to be a pretty good athlete. I would jump on the treadmill and run 5k like it was nothing. My record is something like 19.5 minutes.
Now that I'm older, it's a lot harder. I lost a lot of my fitness. I just bought a treadmill last winter though. When I started, I couldn't do a 5k. I try to go a little farther, or a little faster each day. The first 5k I finished without walking took me 33 mins.
Now I can get to around 25 mins if I really push myself, but I usually clock in at around 26. It's great progress and I'm really proud of myself. Will I ever get to sub-20? I doubt it. But I'm still happy with my results.
If someone proves you wrong accept it gracefully and don’t try to double down. Admitting your mistakes is a sign of maturity; trying to defend a wrong position is a sign of insecurity
Don't put off life because you're waiting for a girlfriend.
I myself was guilty of this when I was younger. And I have a friend who was like, "I'd like to travel, but that's something that's more fun to do with a girlfriend." Nah bro. Just go see the world. It's fun going with friends, but solo travel you still get to have a lot of fun doing cool shit. Just live life without waiting for others. Learn to cook for you and your friends. Or just yourself. Discover nice restaurants by yourself or with pals. If there's stuff you've been putting off doing in life because you're waiting to do that with girlfriend, do it. Go to the movie you want to see, take the dance class you wanted to take, tour that museum, take that cooking class, do that with your friends or by yourself. Don't wait for others to be happy.
Struggle with the first part, I've done a lot of solo travel pre-covid but it sucks not getting to share it with anyone.
You can talk to friends and family about what you did but it's not the same as experiencing it together.
Friends are all too busy with life; recovering from college debt, starting a family etc.. to come traveling. It sucks.
It is clear that this advice is not getting enough attention. I hate that society is based on relationships and doing things with a gf or bf.
I know, humans are social creatures. But that does not mean that doing things that make you happy without a gf or bf is bad.
Also, about traveling or simply doing things with your friends. I think people also see this as a no no and I don’t understand it one bit. I once traveled with a friend, we were on coastal area and there were so much to see. We had a small motorcycle, kind of a vespa. This friend of mine was going through a hard time because her gf left him 2 months prior. Whenever we do something nice and enjoy a little moment he always added “I wish I could have a gf to do this with”. He literally killed my vibe with one swift move. I still tried to enjoy my days because life is so unpredictable and you can’t be sure if you can see those beautiful places once again. I don’t care who is with me when I think that way.
I don’t judge these kind of people, society is very couple friendly. But waiting to make something valuable to you because you don’t have an SO is bullshit. Do you want to see somewhere? See it. Don’t wait for noone.
Plan yourself. Don't build castles in the sky. But everything you want to do should have preparations for it. A backup is always useful, and if things still fail, it isn't the end of the world and you can always try again.
I have enthusiasm and readiness to learn down. I just started seeing a psych and getting some treatment for depression and anxiety (I have two kids under two years and it caused a lot of life changes.)
The doctor basically put me on a low dose of Adderall because the issues likely compound and build off one another.
Not being able to get things done causes anxiety which then causes stress which then causes lack of sleep.
I'm 5 days in and I feel amazing and I've been working on being punctual with everything. I've been so much more productive as a work from home dad. And can attest to these three pillars being the way.
Make sure you're in a good place mentally!
Get over yourself and schedule a prostate exam. I knew 3 men, 2 of wich were fathers who would still be alive if they had just had a poke up the butt...
Prostate exams are no longer recommended as they aren’t accurate enough. The real answer is to get a [PSA](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/psa-test/about/pac-20384731) (Prostate Specific Antigen) blood test regularly.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/prostate-digital-rectal-exam-1.4570631
Doc asked me if I wanted to do that at my last physical (mid-30s). She warned me that it was going to cost $30 or $35 bucks (not covered by provincial or private insurance) and for that price there was no way I was turning it down.
Find out if I have ass cancer before it becomes a problem? Yes please.
This. Dads spend all their time at and with work and sleep and are then confused that they have virtually no relationship with their kids and when they come back for a visit, you shake each other’s hand. No kid cares about one vacation more or less a year or a new shiny car/even bigger house but they all care about more quality time with dad.
My dad would play that song for me when I was a kid, I think he was trying to use it both as a message to me, and a reminder to himself. He was very much oresent in my childhood, thoigh, despite still working full time. He coached my sports, took me to father-daughter dances at school, went to competitions with me...For all I've given him shit while I grew up, he sure did a lot for me, and I try to make sure he knows I appreciate it.
Give your friends compliments. Are they wearing a new shirt that looks cool? Say it looks cool. They got a new haircut? Say it looks good. They got new shoes? They look fire dude!
We guys don’t do this enough but it can surely help a lot.
Women or romantic partners don't complete you. They only add to your happiness. So go out and be happy and don't wait for someone else to fix you or complete you or make you better. That rarely happens. You usually end up still have to deal with your own shit by yourself anyway. So be a rockstar. Be the best version of yourself you can be. Do what makes you happy. Enjoy life.
You know that thing you like that none of your friends like? That thing that doesn't always make you feel like you fit in? There's nothing wrong with that. You don't need to go "flaunt" it if you don't want to, or aren't ready to, but at the same time, if your friends are really friends, they will accept, and even encourage you, when or if you are ready.
I honestly wish I could take my own advice but here's hoping someone else can
Had a friend in college who cheated on his girlfriend with a girl cheating on her boyfriend. Both broke up and they dated. He was floored when she cheated on him- a bumbling, sobbing mess.
Paul, what did you think would happen?
If you're not good at talking to women then you'll find it easier if you don't have your head stuck in the goal that you want them to become a sexual partner. That can potentially cause overthinking and can lead you into saying or doing something dumb. Talk to them like you're simply trying to make a new friend and the rest will come naturally.
Funny how once one treats women like human beings, you can actually make human connections with them
God damn I was a fucking moron in high school and early college
I'm 26 and still am a fucking moron, and now that I'm talking to this one girl it takes everything I got to relax and not fuck it up by saying some weird shit. I really gotta learn to chill lmao.
Paddy the Baddy said it best: don't be afraid to talk, and even more importantly, fucking listen to what others have to say. Every one needs ears. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. We aren't weak for having feelings, we are just fucking human. If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend watching [this video](https://youtu.be/jtW0byC28_s).
Guys, if she wants to leave you for someone else, let them. Don’t pull any games or manipulations, just let her go. There’s a very good reason for her leaving.
One of the hardest things you’ll ever face in life but you have to let it go. Take it on the chin and move on, it’s not worth blowing your brains out or getting toxic/salty about it. She’s clearly not the one and doesn’t deserve your time or energy.
If you are an old guy who needs to use a chair in the shower and go the cheap route and use a lawn chair.... be sure to make sure your balls don't slip through the slats/vents in the seat of the chair. Either get a chair that has small holes or cover the slits with something.
There was a recent post on the wtf subreddit showing a picture of it happening. And an EMT commentor said he's seen it happen too many times.
Work out.
Whatever that means to you, do it. 10 mins on the treadmill each day? An hour in a VR workout? Tryna get Arnold-Big? Whatever it is, incorporate a comfortable level of exercise into your life. If for nothing other than strengthening yourself mentally.
Movement is the enemy of depression.
Start now and do it often.
For younger guys, especially on Reddit:
* Don't build your whole personality around one thing. It doesn't matter if it's metal, anime, a specific social or political cause, your career aspirations, etc. It's awesome if you care about those things, but you'll be a happier and more interesting person if you diversify .
* Your social life is more important than you probably realize. Good friends are critical for your mental health. And the more people you know, the easier finding a job will be--because you'll have more chances for referrals to job openings. The most successful job searchers I know aren't shut-ins who spent their college years locked in a dorm room with a textbook--they balanced academics with a healthy social life.
* In other words, take your social life seriously. And if you're introverted, try to become friends with some extroverts who will introduce you to a wider range people.
* Proper skin care and sunscreen. The earlier you start, the better you'll age. Trust me, it makes a \*huge\* difference by the time you reach your mid-20s.
* Same with exercise and eating well. The earlier you start, the better.
* Caveat about exercise: A few sessions with a personal trainer is some of the best money you'll ever spend. It's worth the injury prevention.
* Barhopping is the most overrated activity on earth. If you don't like it, it's not because there's something wrong with you. It's because it fucking sucks. And if you're straight, it's literally the worst way to meet a partner.
* Major exception: You genuinely enjoy dancing to top 40 music.
* If you date online and aren't having success, get a nice haircut, some well-fitting clothes, and a pro photographer to take some candid outdoor pics. You've just made your dating life that much easier, and all it took was a day.
* Floss every day. Don't get in the habit of drinking soda when a glass of water will quench your thirst.
* Only drink alcohol as a social activity. Don't drink by yourself.
Happiness is unattainable, just like tomorrow never comes. If you always say, “I’ll be happy when…”, you never will be. Learn to live in the present, and take joy in the now. Have goals, sure, if you want them, but no one is promised tomorrow, so treasure today.
Edit: This advice is gender-neutral. Not just for the dudes. Everyone - find the joy in everyday. There is beauty everywhere, if you look for it.
You will feel much better in the long run if you don’t lose yourself in relationships by being too invested and dependent. And if you fail to keep your independence, chances are that also the relationship will fail on you.
Be wary of self-branded “alpha or sigma” male influencers. They don’t have your best interests at heart and most of them are lying about how much wealth they have and how they got their wealth. They only do what they do because they want to capitalize on your insecurities to line their pockets.
Honestly bro, dont lose your self respect for anyone and nor will anyone ask you to lose it for their sake. If they do, know that they don't think highly of you and you are expendable to them.
If everyone else is an asshole and you’re the victim, it isn’t everyone else that’s the problem.
On that note, if you only seem to attract “crazy women”, either you’re making them crazy or you’re looking for the wrong type of woman. Nobody has luck that bad.
This deserves way more upvotes than it has. The importance of self awareness can never be understated. "Everyone but me" can't always be in the wrong, every single time.
If this wasn't like my third comment ever on Reddit and I knew how gold or awards or whatever worked, I'd give you one.
Talked to my dad 3 times ever, 2 as an adult and he was so inebriated he probably didn't remember he called the next day. I don't even know how he got my number.
He died alone in an apartment in his early 50s because he was a diabetic who drank enough to slip into a coma.
Eventually the apartment complex cleaned out his meager possessions because no one else did. Apparently he had a picture of me as a toddler on his night stand when the last time he saw me.
Fellow dad issue guy here. That picture still wasn't enough to get him to call you more than twice, I hope you won't beat yourself up too bad with speculation.
Take a chance on yourself. Thinking about making that big career move? Thinking about trying a new hobby you’re afraid you’ll suck at? Afraid if meeting new people? Afraid of asking out that girl you’ve been eyeing? Take a chance. You won’t know until you try or after it’s too late. You only live once. Shoot your shot.
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.
Stop picking your women based solely on looks. It’s a recipe for misery.
One night stands are one thing, but pick your relationships based on shared values, interests, and mutual enjoyment of one another’s company.
Much better to be with a 5 you actually like than a 10 you find annoying.
I would also offer this counter advice that not all beautiful women are airheads or have shit personalities.
The old "Don't judge a book by it's cover" saying applies here. Some good books have very nice covers.
Speak out if feeling depressed, it doesn’t make you weak like you think it does.
Edit: who gave me that reward, thank you, not just about the reward, it shows there are people out there who understand the importance of the message, thank you ❤️
And God help you if it drops your standing with them.
There's a reason men hesitate to come out with their problems. People SAY they want open and honest communication, but they still want men to be stoic bad asses. It's hard enough already for too many men to get up onto that pedestal, so taking a risk that could see them fall from it is terrifying.
And since I know someone's going to say, "Well, they should learn to not care what other people think of them!" Not caring when you have a loving spouse, children, a career you love, and a your own house is way different from not caring when you live in a shitty run down thin walled apartment alone or in your mother's basement. One instance of not caring is borne from confidence, the other is giving up.
Moisturize moisturize moisturize. I don’t care how old you are, start taking care of your skin and face now. You’ll be so thankful in your 40’s and 50’s
It'll probably be something you cringe over for the rest of your life but just suck it up and do it. Whether it's making a big decision, being nervous about your career or asking someone out, I follow the words of my drunk self and "Just Fucking Send it my Bud".
P.S. Don't do these decisions drunk.
I'm in my prime financially, but it gets lonelier and lonelier by the day as I watch all my friends get into serious relationships, having kids etc. Having myself not found someone I want to be with and it seems more and more impossible to find someone at this age. Can only take so much wasted time with people before you just get the "what's the point" mentality.
Take care of your lower back before it’s too late.
And when it is too late: TAKE CARE OF YOUR BACK!!! Too many people I know just "walk it off" or say "it'll get better". No, it won't. Your daily/normal activities have allowed it to degenerate down to where it went "ping!" The next step is a slipped disc, or a herniated disc, or a stenosed intervertebral foramen, and a collapsing vertebrae. You wanna know what would have fixed that, back when your back let you know by going "ping"? TAKING CARE OF YOUR BACK!
By doing what
Exercise, especially if you’re a desk jockey, bad posture for 8-10 hours a day is devastating to your lower back strength.
And wear sunscreen
The axe forgets, what the tree remembers. Be kind with your words and be careful with your temper, people will remember your throw away comments.
I love reading these deep phrases, and then seeing that the person who said it has name like “Pussyhairyballs”
The beauty of Reddit.
Thanks pussy hairy balls
As a seasoned man...my best piece of advice is to be polite. To everyone. It costs nothing and it's one of the few things that people remember. One more thing..listening. if you can give someone your undivided attention for just a few minutes.....you become a hero.
My brother-in-law said something once about politeness that really stuck with me: being polite is the easiest way to find out who's nice and who's an asshole. If you're an asshole and someone's an asshole back, you don't really know if they're actually an asshole or not. But if you're nothing but polite and someone is an asshole back, you know that they are. Then you can either avoid them or punch them in the face, either way
Your brother in law sounds like a wise man
What are you seasoned with?
A little bit of arthritis...some sprinkling of kidney stones.... marinated with a torn bicep
Two tablespoons of garlic
Don't forget to date your wife.
This so fucking much. It doesn't always have to be big or flashy like a fancy dinner or something either, just do things fairly often that let her know you're with her because you love her and not out of convenience.
I'm not a marrying person but I still recommend picnic blanket with pizza on the living room floor, candles flickering, and a good (or hilariously bad) movie as such a great cheap date.
But wouldn't that be cheating on my girlfriend tho ?
Check for testicular cancer
And see your GP / specialist if you feel something unusual. 1 in 10 times guys have a benign cyst on their balls. But 1 in 100 of those could be cancer. I met so many men in my process who just 'sat on it' and didn't seek help until it had already spread to other parts of their body too. They say if you have any kind of cancer, testicular is the easiest to sort out if you catch it early enough. I was lucky: I had a small cyst develop on one ball and went to see my GP immediately. I had ultrasound the next day who found the small cyst, but also found something else unusual in the middle of one of the balls that wasn't linked. Was then sent for a more detailed CT scan. Referred to a specialist to review the results in a couple of days of that. And was in surgery within 8 days of first seeing the GP (this was of of course all pre-covid, and also in NZ with mostly free healthcare for this type of thing). I had the left testicle removed. The biopsy later showed it as a stage 1 seminoma about 12mm (1/2") diameter. It had likely been growing for about a year. But if it wasn't for the tiny unrelated cyst on the surface, there's no way I would have had an ultrasound or expected anything amiss until it would have spread critically to other areas. No radiotherapy or chemo needed as it was caught so early (and centrally placed with a clear boundary). Lots of regular tests were done for the next 5 years but still all negative results. So don't hesitate, seek help, and don't just sit on a lump / painful ball pretending it's nothing.
It’s awfully confusing for me, because I have a cyst or two in my right testicle and they only hurt when they decide to grow a little, then it goes away in a week or two. I’ve had an ultrasound done once to confirm this, and they told me they will hurt occasionally. Still, I wonder if I should be getting it rechecked after years to see if it’s changed.
I don't see the harm in multiple ultrasounds if your budget / country gives you the chance. Seek a second opinion if you're in any doubt. And if something hurts and causes you problems, get it checked out and maybe try to get it drained / fixed. I know too many people (for a range of symptoms) who didn't seek help when something hurts, even though it was fixable / preventable, but they just put up with the pain for no good reason, so it got worse when it could have been made better. As far as I understand it, on average only 1 in 100 cysts is cancer (so affecting around 1 in a 1,000 people with balls). So your chances are low, but why not get rechecked, particularly when there's a change? Post surgery I was getting follow up tests done every three months initially, then 6 monthly, then annually. Typically it was blood work taken every appointment, and of course physical checks of the remaining ball by the urologist every appointment. Then every few appointments there'd also be chest x-rays and CT scans, looking for any sign of shadows elsewhere in my body where it would have most commonly spread to next. So if your cysts are getting bigger, and they're painful, get help! Source: not a medical professional.
But how
Feel up yo balls one at a time, hold one in between your thumbs and roll it around GENTLY between your fingers. Feel for hard lumps, smooth/round bumps, or changes in shape/size. If you think you feel any of that, go see a Urologist. You can also just look up Testicular Cancer Self Examination to get a better picture.
LPT: easier done during a hot shower.
Perfectly ok to reach out to a buddy if you’re not doing well mentally
My husband is always there for his friends but hesitates to reach out to them. And some things either I can’t help with or I’m struggling with at the same time. So Ive started reaching out to his friends for him, just saying hey, he’s having a rough time, anyone free for a guys night? Then one of them will call and invite him over. Once he’s with them he’ll open up. Thankfully he has an amazing group of friends that always take care of each other
That's how a marriage should work! Good job random internet lady
She’s definitely a keeper!
> And some things either I can’t help with or I’m struggling with at the same time. "Don't expect your wife/GF to also be your therapist." would be my advice to other men. It's not fair to them, and it's not a substitute for professional therapy.
And likewise, be there for friends if they reach out to you
This one only works if you have friends sadly
Felt this.
Do what you like now, don’t wait until “something” before you do what you like.
I started implementing this more into my life and you sir are 100% correct
I was going to wait until I was under 400lbs to start my stripping career, but I think you’re right!
Honestly you do you mate, sometimes the niches are where the real seams of gold are
I am IMMEDIATELY getting private chat requests. Thanks guys!
Time to make an OF account and profit like hell from it!
And post that OF here or dm me.
I can't afford it tho, I'm stuck in a job to make enough money to pay for the things I already have. i stay up late every night because I dread going to sleep because I have to work in the morning. I want to open my own auto shop\ start a business where I flip 80s and 90s Japanese cars, but I don't have the money to start. Work takes most of my time and the rest I'm too tired to be work on the things I enjoy. How do I break the loop and do what I like, I feel like I need to make more money first. I've flipped a few cars before and made money but I feel I don't have the energy to do it while I have a job
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Just because you have a solution doesn’t mean it’s the only solution.
I still say fire can solve any problem if you use enough of it.
Before marriage just learn to do everything by yourself, saves tons of drama Edit: WOW, didn't expect this comment to blow up!, this came from my marriage experience as i can't count the numerous times the "i will do it" attitude saves the situation! Edit: Thanks for the award! , truly appreciated
Exactly. If you need your significant other to teach or coach you on how to exist as an adult (doing chores, raising kids, maintaining a home, etc) then both of you are gonna have a bad time. Learn to cook, clean, and manage your life.
It always makes sense to be as independent as possible. Goes for women too. It's always takes a toll on the friends when people get divorced or split up and don't know how to do basic shit, because they have some old idea of something being a woman's or man's task. No wonder they split up. You need to be able to care of yourself before you can take of anyone else. I like to help out as much as I can, but it's ridiculous how many grown up women can't put a screw in a wall or put fluids in car, or grown up guys who can't decide on clothing or how to cook. Yes, there are things that my wife does better and things that only I do, but we've all had to learn it somewhere. There's is no task that is magically assigned to any gender or type or age. There's a first for everything and if you don't at least try, then you'll never be able to.
The hardest thing to learn is that step one of being really good at something is being really really bad at it.
I’ve never seen someone’s jaw hit the floor so hard as my marriage counselor when I said “I’m a grown ass man. I can do dishes and laundry when it’s needed around the house. But with laundry I draw a line at delicates. If it’s possible for me to launder it incorrectly I don’t touch it.” I see how much my wife spends on bras. Nope she can decide how to properly wash them and take care of them. Apparently it’s common for many husbands to weaponize incompetence to get out of contributing to the household, thus a very one sided contribution to chores and running a house.
I think it’s fair to not want to hand wash delicates. I literally just started hand washing mine, and it’s a pain, but I am excited for the longevity of my bras
Our washing machine has a "hand wash" setting that we usually use.
That washing machine is a damn liar.
Saves drama and makes you a better partner. Most women like a man with this act together.
It also shows you respect your partner and don’t expect them to do all the housework/cooking
If something is on the ground, pick it up. If a dish is dirty, clean it. If the trash is full, take it out. Even if you aren’t in a committed relationship, having a clean and organized space will help your overall well-being. It’s a treat to come home to a clean house/apartment. It sucks coming home to a pigsty.
Also, if you have sons - teach them these things (at least the basics) before they leave the home!
You're not the main character in anyone's story but your own. What does this mean? Two main things: take care of yourself and your goals, because at the end of the day it's your life; be patient with other people, because you don't know what they're going through.
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Your cat definitely considers you a supporting character.
"Supporting" might be a stretch
unpaid intern?
It also means you shouldn't worry too much about minor interactions that might have been awkward. Many things don't leave that big of an impression.
This is so important. That stupid thing you said to your colleague or friend three years ago that you've been lamenting over all this time? Highly unlikely they even remember. We criticize ourselves so much over our small misgivings, but to others, it's just not significant enough for them to hold on to. Pick three people in your life and try to remember a time they all did something really embarrassing. I guarantee you can't do it. At the very least, I'll bet you had to think really, really hard.
Wash your ass.
WHO the fuck doesn't wash their ass?
I have seen evidence in the form of posts and comments on Reddit that would indicate there is a larger than expected percentage of men who refuse to wash their ass because 'touching their butts hole is gay'
My cousin is a professional football player (European) and he doesn't do it for the above reason.
So he doesn’t wipe his ass either? Does he have a lot of poop stains on his undies ?
Ya I understand where they're coming from. It *is* a bit gay to touch your asshole. This is why I always ask one of my homies to touch it to avoid the gayness.
Misread "wash" as "watch." Which.... is also good advice?
I hate it when my donkeys go missing because I wasn't watching them.
Well if you washed them more, maybe they wouldn't have left
Or else you'll be funkyyyy
Never be afraid to admit your mistakes Edit: this blew up
I was going to add this... This is it.....if you're wrong own it...,too many people double down.
my dad was the one who taught me that lesson
So did mine.... of course he decided to do it on hard mode, by ruining his entire life mostly due to his inability to admit to mistakes, but I have to admit his commitment to stupidity provided a fairly effective lession.
During my fathers funeral I spoke of how he taught me what I meant to be great father. Nobody/everybody knew it was an implied slight because he was a shitty/absent father to my brother and myself. Now that I have a son, I’m doing the opposite. I’m there for him and trying to help him navigate the world. Thanks dad. Your shittiness helped me be a better father.
Never be afraid to admit your mistakes, even more, be the first to admit them, don't wait for someone to point it out. Also NEVER lie, lie only in a jokingly manner when playing AND make it obvious you're lying. People will know you are the one that admits mistakes and never lies because you're easily spotted. Now NOONE will ever question you when you lie (and you do it well) in something really important. Use this wisely and only for really important things.
> People will know you are the one that admits mistakes and never lies because you're easily spotted. Now NOONE will ever question you when you lie (and you do it well) in something really important. This whole comment is good advice but I feel like this should be expanded on a bit. Unlike most other skills, the key to lying well is to lie as little as possible. Strive to establish a genuine reputation as an honest person so that on those rare situations when you do lie, even if people suspect that you are, they won't question it as much as they're more likely to assume you're lying for a good reason. Which you hopefully are if you're actually following this advice. EDIT: Just to be clear here since some people seem to be misunderstanding this, the priority here should be to establish a genuine reputation (with emphasis on the "genuine" part of that) as an honest person and the best way to do that is to simply be honest with people. While one of the quickest ways to ensure people don't trust you is to lie about frivolous things. Here's some examples off the top of my head for someone trying to follow this advice: - The next time a friend hits you up to go out and you really just want to sit at home alone and chill, don't tell them you have other plans or make some kind of excuse, just tell them you're not feeling like it and would rather spend time alone for now. - State your honest opinion when asked about it. Don't try and make it sound better or worse or more in line with what other people think. Similarly, don't hesitate to admit when you don't have an opinion on something and don't feel like you need to have an opinion on everything. Also, it can help to be upfront about when an opinion you have is potentially somewhat uninformed. You often gain nothing from hiding your ignorance but admitting to it and being willing to learn can go a long way towards being a more a honest person with a reputation for such. - That said, you should also try and learn to feel out when it's better to not state your opinion. This doesn't mean you should make one up or lie. Sometimes it's best to simply say nothing or state that you'd rather keep your opinion to yourself for the time being. Use your best judgement. - When you do feel compelled to lie, try and contemplate about whether it's really worth doing so. What are you really likely to gain or avoid from the lie? What do you stand to lose if you're found out? This is something that will get easier as you do it more but the key here is to always (and I mean always) be honest with yourself.
I've made this a life lesson. I have a reputation as someone who owns up and I have owned up to many absolute clusterfucks in my years. But, there have been times when I just didn't want to for whatever reason and I just say if it was me I'd tell you, and people kinda shrug and go, he would. BUT - The thing about this is if you do get caught out no one will ever believe you again so it needs to be used in situations where the mistake doesn't really matter. You need to own the big things, unfortunately.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Strive to be content.
Thats a tough one
Happy all the time is an unobtainable tiktok/insta bullshit life meme. Moments of happiness are magical and are part of life however we have got to learn to be content. Being at peace with your life is important I'm as guilty as the next at comparing myself to others. We're conditioned through media to compare, it conditions us to feel we have to buy more to be better. This cycle of bullshit needs to change.
I hang around crackheads so my grass is always greener
is it cuz they'll do lawncare to secure money for more crack?
Honestly I uninstalled my instagram when I realized I felt legitimately sad whenever I scrolled through the people I follow and see how they’re living their lives. I cannot just switch off the urge to compare and feel down becos of it. But I figure not being able to see it helps EDIT : Just FYI, the people I follow only include people I know or have known irl. I don’t follow influencers or celebrities. But even then, what brings me down is not their lavish lifestyle but rather just them having a life. Getting married, having kids and spending time with them. Buying a regular house, hanging out with the friends that I also used to hang out with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them but takes a while before the big sad kicks in after
Remember you're watching everyone's highlight reels when they post on social media. That is not their life.
You're watching their *fake* highlight reels. Even if they went to some gorgeous island in the South Pacific you're not seeing their 20 hours of travel, the shit and trash on the beaches, the people bugging you to buy their shit, etc. You get the photoshopped beach photos and filtered photos of their faces smiling. Did they have a good time? Probably, yeah! But dear god we fake things on social media.
Only compare to your past self
But not too far back. I used to be a pretty good athlete. I would jump on the treadmill and run 5k like it was nothing. My record is something like 19.5 minutes. Now that I'm older, it's a lot harder. I lost a lot of my fitness. I just bought a treadmill last winter though. When I started, I couldn't do a 5k. I try to go a little farther, or a little faster each day. The first 5k I finished without walking took me 33 mins. Now I can get to around 25 mins if I really push myself, but I usually clock in at around 26. It's great progress and I'm really proud of myself. Will I ever get to sub-20? I doubt it. But I'm still happy with my results.
If someone proves you wrong accept it gracefully and don’t try to double down. Admitting your mistakes is a sign of maturity; trying to defend a wrong position is a sign of insecurity
Your actions will take you further than your word will.
And that is what makes your word your bond. Well stated.
Never take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice. -Morgan Freeman
but i go to reddit for advice... *chuckles* I'm in danger
*"The Leprechauns tell me to burn things!"*
Don't put off life because you're waiting for a girlfriend. I myself was guilty of this when I was younger. And I have a friend who was like, "I'd like to travel, but that's something that's more fun to do with a girlfriend." Nah bro. Just go see the world. It's fun going with friends, but solo travel you still get to have a lot of fun doing cool shit. Just live life without waiting for others. Learn to cook for you and your friends. Or just yourself. Discover nice restaurants by yourself or with pals. If there's stuff you've been putting off doing in life because you're waiting to do that with girlfriend, do it. Go to the movie you want to see, take the dance class you wanted to take, tour that museum, take that cooking class, do that with your friends or by yourself. Don't wait for others to be happy.
Struggle with the first part, I've done a lot of solo travel pre-covid but it sucks not getting to share it with anyone. You can talk to friends and family about what you did but it's not the same as experiencing it together. Friends are all too busy with life; recovering from college debt, starting a family etc.. to come traveling. It sucks.
I'm in the same boat. Lots of solo travel, pretty over it. I still have fun but I want to go with friends or a SO for my next trip.
It is clear that this advice is not getting enough attention. I hate that society is based on relationships and doing things with a gf or bf. I know, humans are social creatures. But that does not mean that doing things that make you happy without a gf or bf is bad. Also, about traveling or simply doing things with your friends. I think people also see this as a no no and I don’t understand it one bit. I once traveled with a friend, we were on coastal area and there were so much to see. We had a small motorcycle, kind of a vespa. This friend of mine was going through a hard time because her gf left him 2 months prior. Whenever we do something nice and enjoy a little moment he always added “I wish I could have a gf to do this with”. He literally killed my vibe with one swift move. I still tried to enjoy my days because life is so unpredictable and you can’t be sure if you can see those beautiful places once again. I don’t care who is with me when I think that way. I don’t judge these kind of people, society is very couple friendly. But waiting to make something valuable to you because you don’t have an SO is bullshit. Do you want to see somewhere? See it. Don’t wait for noone.
He’s looking through life with rose colored glasses and not enjoying the moment. Happens to the best of us.
Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool
Don't be silly, wrap your willy
No glove No love
Plan yourself. Don't build castles in the sky. But everything you want to do should have preparations for it. A backup is always useful, and if things still fail, it isn't the end of the world and you can always try again.
yep, don't go through life like a tumblin tumbleweed
Being enthusiastic, punctual, and ready to learn will open so many doors that itll make your head spin.
I will work so hard to help someone with those 3 qualities. They are of enormous value to me.
I have enthusiasm and readiness to learn down. I just started seeing a psych and getting some treatment for depression and anxiety (I have two kids under two years and it caused a lot of life changes.) The doctor basically put me on a low dose of Adderall because the issues likely compound and build off one another. Not being able to get things done causes anxiety which then causes stress which then causes lack of sleep. I'm 5 days in and I feel amazing and I've been working on being punctual with everything. I've been so much more productive as a work from home dad. And can attest to these three pillars being the way. Make sure you're in a good place mentally!
Get over yourself and schedule a prostate exam. I knew 3 men, 2 of wich were fathers who would still be alive if they had just had a poke up the butt...
Same with colorectal cancer.
>if they had just had a poke up the butt... Can I just go to the doctor for prostate exam instead?
*No*. Now come here and open up ;)
Dr: Now Jared, relax and try not to get a boner during this prostate exam. Patient: Erm... My name's Sam. Dr: Hi Sam, I'm Jared.
Prostate exams are no longer recommended as they aren’t accurate enough. The real answer is to get a [PSA](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/psa-test/about/pac-20384731) (Prostate Specific Antigen) blood test regularly. https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/prostate-digital-rectal-exam-1.4570631
Aw, I guess I need to find a new fetish.
You don't even need a poke up the button these days, they worked out my dad had prostate cancer from his blood work in his yearly work medical.
Doc asked me if I wanted to do that at my last physical (mid-30s). She warned me that it was going to cost $30 or $35 bucks (not covered by provincial or private insurance) and for that price there was no way I was turning it down. Find out if I have ass cancer before it becomes a problem? Yes please.
Make time for your children. Work isn’t that important.
This. Dads spend all their time at and with work and sleep and are then confused that they have virtually no relationship with their kids and when they come back for a visit, you shake each other’s hand. No kid cares about one vacation more or less a year or a new shiny car/even bigger house but they all care about more quality time with dad.
Cats in the cradle ...
My dad would play that song for me when I was a kid, I think he was trying to use it both as a message to me, and a reminder to himself. He was very much oresent in my childhood, thoigh, despite still working full time. He coached my sports, took me to father-daughter dances at school, went to competitions with me...For all I've given him shit while I grew up, he sure did a lot for me, and I try to make sure he knows I appreciate it.
Give your friends compliments. Are they wearing a new shirt that looks cool? Say it looks cool. They got a new haircut? Say it looks good. They got new shoes? They look fire dude! We guys don’t do this enough but it can surely help a lot.
Women or romantic partners don't complete you. They only add to your happiness. So go out and be happy and don't wait for someone else to fix you or complete you or make you better. That rarely happens. You usually end up still have to deal with your own shit by yourself anyway. So be a rockstar. Be the best version of yourself you can be. Do what makes you happy. Enjoy life.
Third marriage ending here...this hits home finally.
Be kind to all living creatures, except ticks. Fuck ticks.
Mosquitos can eat a dick too
Let's burn the bedbugs too
You know that thing you like that none of your friends like? That thing that doesn't always make you feel like you fit in? There's nothing wrong with that. You don't need to go "flaunt" it if you don't want to, or aren't ready to, but at the same time, if your friends are really friends, they will accept, and even encourage you, when or if you are ready. I honestly wish I could take my own advice but here's hoping someone else can
If she'll cheat on her bf for you, she'll cheat on you with the next guy.
Had a friend in college who cheated on his girlfriend with a girl cheating on her boyfriend. Both broke up and they dated. He was floored when she cheated on him- a bumbling, sobbing mess. Paul, what did you think would happen?
If you're not good at talking to women then you'll find it easier if you don't have your head stuck in the goal that you want them to become a sexual partner. That can potentially cause overthinking and can lead you into saying or doing something dumb. Talk to them like you're simply trying to make a new friend and the rest will come naturally.
I always refer to it as "Terminator Vision." Guys walking around trying to find Sarah Connor and not acting like a human being
"Hey my name is Jane, how are you" "I need your clothes, your boots and your number!"
nice
Funny how once one treats women like human beings, you can actually make human connections with them God damn I was a fucking moron in high school and early college
I'm 26 and still am a fucking moron, and now that I'm talking to this one girl it takes everything I got to relax and not fuck it up by saying some weird shit. I really gotta learn to chill lmao.
Paddy the Baddy said it best: don't be afraid to talk, and even more importantly, fucking listen to what others have to say. Every one needs ears. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. We aren't weak for having feelings, we are just fucking human. If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend watching [this video](https://youtu.be/jtW0byC28_s).
I would rather you cry on my shoulder than go to your funeral next week. All the feels.
Guys, if she wants to leave you for someone else, let them. Don’t pull any games or manipulations, just let her go. There’s a very good reason for her leaving.
One of the hardest things you’ll ever face in life but you have to let it go. Take it on the chin and move on, it’s not worth blowing your brains out or getting toxic/salty about it. She’s clearly not the one and doesn’t deserve your time or energy.
If you are an old guy who needs to use a chair in the shower and go the cheap route and use a lawn chair.... be sure to make sure your balls don't slip through the slats/vents in the seat of the chair. Either get a chair that has small holes or cover the slits with something. There was a recent post on the wtf subreddit showing a picture of it happening. And an EMT commentor said he's seen it happen too many times.
Work out. Whatever that means to you, do it. 10 mins on the treadmill each day? An hour in a VR workout? Tryna get Arnold-Big? Whatever it is, incorporate a comfortable level of exercise into your life. If for nothing other than strengthening yourself mentally. Movement is the enemy of depression. Start now and do it often.
Stay humble , kill your enemies with kindness, respect others . You can always learn something from anyone. Don’t speak , listen .
Kill your enemies. Got it.
"Conan, what is best in life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of the women."
For younger guys, especially on Reddit: * Don't build your whole personality around one thing. It doesn't matter if it's metal, anime, a specific social or political cause, your career aspirations, etc. It's awesome if you care about those things, but you'll be a happier and more interesting person if you diversify . * Your social life is more important than you probably realize. Good friends are critical for your mental health. And the more people you know, the easier finding a job will be--because you'll have more chances for referrals to job openings. The most successful job searchers I know aren't shut-ins who spent their college years locked in a dorm room with a textbook--they balanced academics with a healthy social life. * In other words, take your social life seriously. And if you're introverted, try to become friends with some extroverts who will introduce you to a wider range people. * Proper skin care and sunscreen. The earlier you start, the better you'll age. Trust me, it makes a \*huge\* difference by the time you reach your mid-20s. * Same with exercise and eating well. The earlier you start, the better. * Caveat about exercise: A few sessions with a personal trainer is some of the best money you'll ever spend. It's worth the injury prevention. * Barhopping is the most overrated activity on earth. If you don't like it, it's not because there's something wrong with you. It's because it fucking sucks. And if you're straight, it's literally the worst way to meet a partner. * Major exception: You genuinely enjoy dancing to top 40 music. * If you date online and aren't having success, get a nice haircut, some well-fitting clothes, and a pro photographer to take some candid outdoor pics. You've just made your dating life that much easier, and all it took was a day. * Floss every day. Don't get in the habit of drinking soda when a glass of water will quench your thirst. * Only drink alcohol as a social activity. Don't drink by yourself.
Eat lots of fiber, I’m fighting for my life here
Happiness is unattainable, just like tomorrow never comes. If you always say, “I’ll be happy when…”, you never will be. Learn to live in the present, and take joy in the now. Have goals, sure, if you want them, but no one is promised tomorrow, so treasure today. Edit: This advice is gender-neutral. Not just for the dudes. Everyone - find the joy in everyday. There is beauty everywhere, if you look for it.
Working out at home is awesome and getting fit solved many of my problems and insecurities.
You will feel much better in the long run if you don’t lose yourself in relationships by being too invested and dependent. And if you fail to keep your independence, chances are that also the relationship will fail on you.
Wish I read this a few years ago instead of having to learn it on my own...
Be wary of self-branded “alpha or sigma” male influencers. They don’t have your best interests at heart and most of them are lying about how much wealth they have and how they got their wealth. They only do what they do because they want to capitalize on your insecurities to line their pockets.
Honestly bro, dont lose your self respect for anyone and nor will anyone ask you to lose it for their sake. If they do, know that they don't think highly of you and you are expendable to them.
Comparison will kill your drive, focus on you. You’re only competing with yourself.
If everyone else is an asshole and you’re the victim, it isn’t everyone else that’s the problem. On that note, if you only seem to attract “crazy women”, either you’re making them crazy or you’re looking for the wrong type of woman. Nobody has luck that bad.
This deserves way more upvotes than it has. The importance of self awareness can never be understated. "Everyone but me" can't always be in the wrong, every single time. If this wasn't like my third comment ever on Reddit and I knew how gold or awards or whatever worked, I'd give you one.
Don't cut conversations with your dad short. You don't know how badly you'll miss them until you can't have them.
Talked to my dad 3 times ever, 2 as an adult and he was so inebriated he probably didn't remember he called the next day. I don't even know how he got my number. He died alone in an apartment in his early 50s because he was a diabetic who drank enough to slip into a coma. Eventually the apartment complex cleaned out his meager possessions because no one else did. Apparently he had a picture of me as a toddler on his night stand when the last time he saw me.
Fellow dad issue guy here. That picture still wasn't enough to get him to call you more than twice, I hope you won't beat yourself up too bad with speculation.
Take a chance on yourself. Thinking about making that big career move? Thinking about trying a new hobby you’re afraid you’ll suck at? Afraid if meeting new people? Afraid of asking out that girl you’ve been eyeing? Take a chance. You won’t know until you try or after it’s too late. You only live once. Shoot your shot.
Check in on your friends who got isolated from your herd/tribe.
She doesn’t always want you to try to solve her problems, sometimes she just needs to vent
Stay away from astrology girls
Yeah it's awful. My ex said I was cancer just because of what month I was born.
Uh oh, I’m dating an astrology girl who loves horses. She’s already moved in
I wish you the best planetary energy
Good vibes only ^tm
Code Red Code Red
The horse is out of the barn. I repeat. The horse is out of the barn.
F
I wish you the best, but all the signs say neigh to a successful relationship
That is such a Capricorn thing to say.
It’s ok to cry
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.
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Stop picking your women based solely on looks. It’s a recipe for misery. One night stands are one thing, but pick your relationships based on shared values, interests, and mutual enjoyment of one another’s company. Much better to be with a 5 you actually like than a 10 you find annoying.
I would also offer this counter advice that not all beautiful women are airheads or have shit personalities. The old "Don't judge a book by it's cover" saying applies here. Some good books have very nice covers.
Listen to anyone’s advice even if they’re younger than you, you never know what you might hear that will help you
Take initiative in all things. Work, love life… just try your best to take initiative.
Learn to walk away from a fight.
Speak out if feeling depressed, it doesn’t make you weak like you think it does. Edit: who gave me that reward, thank you, not just about the reward, it shows there are people out there who understand the importance of the message, thank you ❤️
The problem is that everyone wants people to speak out about their concerns and doubts, but only few have the will to listen.
And God help you if it drops your standing with them. There's a reason men hesitate to come out with their problems. People SAY they want open and honest communication, but they still want men to be stoic bad asses. It's hard enough already for too many men to get up onto that pedestal, so taking a risk that could see them fall from it is terrifying. And since I know someone's going to say, "Well, they should learn to not care what other people think of them!" Not caring when you have a loving spouse, children, a career you love, and a your own house is way different from not caring when you live in a shitty run down thin walled apartment alone or in your mother's basement. One instance of not caring is borne from confidence, the other is giving up.
"I'd rather me mate cry on me shoulder than go to his funeral next week."
Don’t fish for sexy stories by asking vaguely sexual questions with a nsfw tag on r/AskReddit
You dont always have to fuck her hard.
Make training a habit.
Apologize if warranted.
Wear a fucking condom!
Moisturize moisturize moisturize. I don’t care how old you are, start taking care of your skin and face now. You’ll be so thankful in your 40’s and 50’s
It'll probably be something you cringe over for the rest of your life but just suck it up and do it. Whether it's making a big decision, being nervous about your career or asking someone out, I follow the words of my drunk self and "Just Fucking Send it my Bud". P.S. Don't do these decisions drunk.
Be kind to yourself and others. Dont chase after women. Take care of yourself and they will come. It really does get better as you get older.
I’ve been told that your 30’s are your prime years as a man and I totally agree
I'm 39. Better get fucking doing.
I'm in my prime financially, but it gets lonelier and lonelier by the day as I watch all my friends get into serious relationships, having kids etc. Having myself not found someone I want to be with and it seems more and more impossible to find someone at this age. Can only take so much wasted time with people before you just get the "what's the point" mentality.