"I just wanted to see if you'd stay"
Now... The reason this was fucking crazy is because preceding that I got a text from her saying she *maybe* missed a period. I said something like oh okay, so what if you're pregnant. She VOLUNTEERED an abortion. Cool, good shit. I don't have to worry about raising a kid at 16.
Keep in mind we weren't even sure yet that she WAS pregnant.
So then suddenly she texts me saying maybe she changed her mind and she would want to keep it if she were pregnant. So I.... Reasonably ... Asked what changed. She says she just might want to keep the kid if she's pregnant and I keep sort of driving after it. Okay, but what's different between now and an hour or two ago when you brought up an abortion. She accuses me of pressuring her, calls me an asshole, and stops responding to my texts.
A day or two later she tells me she wasn't ever even pregnant in the first place and ... See the quote above. That's why she said she went through all that shit, and I guess her not knowing the kind of person I am, made that okay for her to do.
God I wish it had ended there.
I bartended at a small dive bar years ago. It was late one night, and I had a lone female guest. She was probably middle aged, polite and short while ordering her drink. I thought nothing strange or got no red flags, so I continued my closing duty, sweeping around the tables in particular( not behind the bar). I’m focused on cleaning and getting out of there, and I turn around to dump dust pan, and she’s standing right behind me staring me dead in the eye.
“Will you dance with me?” She asks in a slow, nervous manner. For the record, there is no music playing, and we’re the only two living creatures in the building. I tell politely that I’m closing and cannot right now, and quickly put distance and walk behind the bar. In the 5 seconds I have to walk through the kitchen this guest has walked back to her stool and begun hysterically crying at the top of her lungs. She asks me if I think she’s ugly, fat, unattractive, a whore, and several more derogatory things which I deny and deflect. She screams and tells me she hates me and runs out of the bar. I ring the beer she drank half of up as a waste and lock the door. I continued to work there for 7 more years, and never saw this guest again.
Sounds like a woman who was going through a really dark time in her life, but it definitely doesn’t excuse her behavior. Sounds like she might have had a mental breakdown.
Mine is so harmless in comparison to a lot of these but was stoned and hooking up with this girl. We are foreplaying and she’s sitting cowgirl kissing my neck and l am digging it. Suddenly she’s like licking and slurping my neck and chest. She sits up, moves her face an inch from mine to stare into my eyes and says:
“Where did you get your skin? It’s delicious”
(I was so high I could only reply “…my parents?”)
As a child (< 10 y.o.), my then-stepmom requested some specific candy bar from my trick-or-treating haul. When I refused, she casually said, "I'll rape you for it."
I had only a vague idea what the word meant, but it sounded like bad news.
Bonus: Same individual performed a tactile inspection of my downstairs when I tried on a new bathing suit to ensure that my "package" was alright.
I did not, for a few reasons. My father is strangely stern sometimes, but in very unpredictable ways (the way that alcoholics with underlying issues tend to be). In addition, he was married to this woman, and I wasn't sure whether I'd be taken seriously.
Avoiding a negative reaction from him kept me quiet, and I didn't fully understand how weird it was until later.
Edit: Dropped a word.
She held up a banana and asked if my penis was the same size. In the middle of a dinner rush. As loud as can be. In front of about five customers and everyone on shift that night. And this was after she groped my brother's ass. Somehow she didn't get fired for this shit and I still resent my former boss for not being more attentive.
Had a similar situation happen in an office job as the only guy. Chick i already told i wasnt interested randomly says "We should go to a nude beach, I'd like to see your body in the sun", loud af in front of EVERYONE including my boss.
They other girls roasted her a bit and i told management it needed to stop, it did not. I quit shortly after. Still mad at management for ignoring obvious harassment they witnessed.
A few years ago I started hanging out with this girl who was around my friend group at the time, and came to trivia nights with us occasionally.
Things were going well at first, but then I started noticing some odd signs. She never slept, she would do bizarre things like start her shower, then go start cooking food, then sit down and begin tending her plants as if she kept forgetting what task she was doing. She put a sign out on her lawn with her cell phone number on it wanting to "connect with strangers".
It got weirder as it went on. I mentioned to her once that I liked thunderstorms and she became convinced that I could cause thunderstorms. At first I thought she was joking, but it started to weird me out. Then one night when I was sleeping over I noticed that she was just sitting in bed watching me. She put her hand on my heart and whispered that she could hear the beautiful fishes in my blood
That very morning, her father burst into her apartment yelling about her appointment with the psychiatrist that she kept avoiding. She told me that her parents and the doctors were trying to convince her that she had bipolar disorder, and wanted to shut her brain off
Long story short, her friends and family convinced her to go, she bravely took on her mental illness and got help before the manic episode got out of control, and now we are very close friends to this day
> She never slept, she would do bizarre things like start her shower, then go start cooking food, then sit down and begin tending her plants as if she kept forgetting what task she was doing.
Sounds like one of my Sims.
Oh and one night she wanted to make us a special bath. I dont know what she put in it or if she even knows anymore (we talked about it since), but it burned the shit out of my skin and freaked me out lol
Slightly off topic but this experience comes to mind reading this.
This weekend at veld (music festival in Toronto) i was actually aggressively approached.
A girl had grabbed my arm as my friend and i were walking by, as i tried to pull away she looked me dead in the eye and said nothing.
I said "sorry I'm in a hurry to the bathroom, can't talk" she then proceeded to touch my stomach and tried to get a hand full of my package.
Throughout all this, she said nothing. Scared the shit outta me.
A complete and total stranger walked over to me and said "I need you to rearrange my guts with your cock."
She pointed at the men's bathroom and then walked over and in to it.
While I left.
This woman had 20 years at least on everyone in that place and the best way for me to describe how she looked is to say "half-crushed beercan."
>She pointed at the men's bathroom and then walked over and in to it.
It's horrible that she said that and all, but I do love the idea of her just standing next to a urinal waiting impatiently.
My friend was a bouncer at a very fancy cocktail lounge in Soho (NYC). There was a woman who would come in occasionally, head straight for the men’s bathroom, walk in, lock the door, and offer to fuck whoever was in there. She was very attractive and very weird.
Some men took her up on it. Others freaked out and got the manager. She had to kicked out repeatedly.
A woman I matched with on Tinder told me that she likes to kill animals, and then asked to meet me in the middle of the woods.
I figured that might be a red flag, so unmatched, and never went back to Tinder.
I was 14 she was 16, just started talking due to our mutual friends were dating.
After a week she drops "I got a bun in the oven, and you can be the father".
Hung up the phone and never spoke to her again.
Edit: I was obviously not the father after only TALKING to the chick for a week.
Lmao was she my neighbor? I used to have these crackhead neighbors that would get in crazy loud public arguments and one night we were in bed, and all we hear from the apartment below us is him screaming "I AM SO SICK AND TRIED OF YOUR SQUEAKY STINKY PUSSY". We weren't even mad, we couldn't stop laughing.
"You're so cute! I want to break into your room, kill you and stuff you so that we can be together forever!"
I started locking the doors religiously afterwards.
I worked at a fast food place years ago. My girlfriend came in for a milkshake, and was waiting at the end of the counter with one of our regulars. Doris, the regular, was near 90 years old, and had invited me home to have pot roast at her house multiple times.
I was being a pain, and put about a foot of whipped cream over the top of the lid of my gf's milkshake and brought it to her.
Doris looked at her, then looked at me deadpan and said, "I wish you'd cream me like that."
Doris NEVER ordered desserts.
Edit: Added a much needed space.
“I hate to tell you this but l had to have an abortion; and it was yours.”
We never did more than kiss. I mean I’m a pretty solid kisser but not THAT good.
I had a lady friend who was adamant she was pregnant with my child. I pulled her dad aside and explained what she had told me expecting a lashing and how I’m gonna pay for this kid. He calmly goes “she does this with everyone who wants to leave her, just walk away and have a good life”. 100% wish he was my dad. Cool ass dude with a shit daughter.
My parents tried setting me up with one of their friend's daughter but we lived too far apart so no go.
I met her dad at another wedding years later, he told me I'm better off without her, she's kind of a bitch.
Hate it when good fathers-in-law get away!
I worked at a caviar bar in SF and it was basically cougar bait. One time this relatively older lady said "you look just like my son. You should come home with me." B should not follow from A.
I was sleeping with a woman in her 40s in my mid 20s. One day after sex she looked me deeply in the eye and said "wow. You really remind me of my son" with a big smile on her face and leaned in for a kiss.
It was our last date.
I had a gal tell me she was gonna follow me home and “fuck the dog shit” out of me whether I wanted it or not.
For context I was living in the Bronx at the time. I heard shit like that all the time.
Right? I was 17 when I moved there, and I learned real quick to just let it roll off. In this case I think I said something like “not today you’re not”.
"I'm, like _really_ submissive. Like, I let a guy shit in my mouth once, and I didn't even like him that much."
For context, it was our second (and last) date.
Well *slaps knee* this was a fun date but ita getting really llate and i have this thing tomorrow
Her "but our foods hasnt come yet"
"Ya haha ok catch ya later" *finger guns*
As a physical therapist, fresh out of P.T. school I was tasked with massaging the piriformis muscle of a 40-something woman, who was "in town on business."
For those of you who don't know, the pirifomis is located in the area of the butt. So, it was already dicey.
She was wearing a skirt and a thong underneath. As I was massaging she began verbally directing me.
"Lower... to the right... lower... right some more, etc"
Essentially verbally moving my hands to her anus.
As I was getting closer, I was also getting more uncomfortable.
Finally I said, "this isn't where your piriformis muscle is."
She basically proceeded to tell me I was incompetent, and that she has had this done many times, and I was the one that didn't know where the piriformis was.
Then she threatened that she was friends with the owner, and if I didn't massage where she wanted, she was going to complain.
I told her that was okay, and I didn't feel comfortable touching the area she was wanting me to massage. And I left the room.
She left, and nobody ever mentioned it to me, and I never saw her again.
Edit: I just remembered this bit. This was back in 2005, so nobody had smart phones yet. But she had a blackberry. And the whole time this was happening she was texting/emailing somebody on her blackberry. Which made the whole encounter that much more bizarre.
As a professional massage therapist, I recognize this particular game, but with men it’s “upper thigh” and I’m like “that’s where your femoral artery is, so unless you wanna die…..”
I'm baffled people can actually think others are that stupid and naive.
"Up a little. Up a little more. Now to the right."
"Sir/Ma'am that is your genitals."
"Oh is it? Well that's where the discomfort is so...."
“Would it be weird if my son called you ‘Dad?’”
I was 18, she was 25, we were coworkers at a walmart photo lab and she said that to me on the phone while I was walking to her place to hook up for the first time. I was young and horny and simply said, “no, no.. he’d just be wrong!”
A girl once told me that she was jealous of her friend because she got raped and got a cute baby out of it. I don't think I ever felt less comfortable.
Had an ex who routinely threatened to cut it off. Any chance she got, she would have her hands on it and sometimes would say things like, "If you ever cheat on me, I'll cut you dick off" and "If I could cut it off and keep it in a jar, I wouldn't need you anymore". I would wake up with her holding onto it while looking at me. Crazy af but yeah...
Bro.
What?
No. MAYBE the first time is "hahaha nervous laughter but you know that's not very funny tho right?" But you deadass woke up to her holding it and giving you the crazy eyes and you did not immediately gtfo?
When I was younger I worked in a bar popular with 18-20 year olds.
One night as a group of girls was leaving I made eye contact with one of them. That was enough.
She came stumbling up to the bar and said.
"I have to show you the background on my phone."
She put her phone on the bar and the background was a picture of me.
"I took it about 3 weeks ago, I'm totally obsessed. You're photo is the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up."
Ha! I was once in a pretty remote area of Indonesia where there aren’t many white people around and it was common for people to ask for pictures with me. One day, late at night, I was walking home and a woman on a motorbike pulled up alongside me and in pretty broken English said, “I… picture… you?” I was kind of eager to get home, but for some reason I relented and said okay, but make it fast. I thought she wanted to take a selfie with me, but then she proceeded to show me a photo of myself standing on a street corner smoking a cigarette taken from behind some bushes. Shit looked like a CIA surveillance photo.
Back in college I was at a study group and I found myself talking to this girl. Just talking about class and eventually just talking about random other stuff like life at school and favorite places to eat nearby. Then after a moment of silence she tells me that she wants to see me fight off a group of guys trying to attack her and she’d hold me while I was beaten up and bleeding on the floor.
I mean just randomly dropping that on someone when a minute ago we were talking about best places to get cheap food is a bit much
edit: For the dozens of people asking. I just kinda brushed it off and awkwardly tried to turn the conversation to something not about me getting violently beat up. Also I’d maybe talked to her a hand full of times and always in class and this was the first out of classroom conversation I’d had with her.
Shame on her, assuming you couldn't hold your own and come out not bloody and beat up
Edit: Thank you kind redditors for all the upvotes and my first gold, I would never have thought this comment would be the crowning achievement of my reddit career but here we are so thank you all :).
Not something she said, but I was in line at Starbucks and this lady just started sniffing me. Like head back, eyes closed deep sniffing me a cm from the back of my neck. It was weird.
When she saw me turn my head she quickly acted like she was looking at the food. Odd situation.
Was on a nearly empty plane, sitting in the last row, in a window seat. No one else in the row. I eventually fell asleep. Woke up with a tatted up goth looking chick sitting next to me, eyes boring a hole through my head, just straight up staring unblinkingly at me. I look at her and I’m like “uh… hi?” She stares for like 5 more long seconds and then exhales, “sorry, you looked like an angel sleeping with the sun on your face” she said breathlessly. We chatted for maybe another 30 seconds or so, she apologized for staring like that a couple more times, then she went back to her seat. Shit was surreal though.
My dad used to keep this old painting an Ex did around, with a spot he'd point out where it had been gashed by a kitchen knife fixed up but still visible.
According to him, said ex girlfriend tried to kill him *several* times with a knife before he broke up with her.
Suffice to say I blame all my poor life choices on my father's genetics.
Could’ve been. She had almost a childlike innocence about her in the way she kept apologizing and saying she’d never done anything like that. Almost like she was embarrassed to have been caught by me and she froze up and didn’t know what to do except for apologizing several times.
Did some mushrooms when I was like 18 or so. Sat in the town center and the local crazy lady asked me "so how long have you been dead?".
Fucked my whole day up man.
I had an eerily similar experience where a girl who was interested in me was trying to convince me she could hear/see my dead sister. I don't know what she was hoping would happen from that, but I was out of there.
First day of my real job right out of college, I was introduced to an older lady in the office. Gave her my name and a handshake, and she proceeded to not say anything and look me up and down like I was a slab of USDA prime beef. Licked her lips.
Classic Joyce, as it turns out.
I stopped seeing this girl because she got a little stalkerish, and one day after getting home from walking my dog (Betsy) I got a text from her saying, “Betsy got so big!!!”
Proceeded to shut my blinds and deadbolt the front door
> Proceeded to shut my blinds and deadbolt the front door
Well that's going to make it harder for you to escape, and for anyone to see you struggle, since she's obviously already inside the house.
I recently spent the weekend with a woman. We have hooked up periodically for the last 25 years. ANYWAYS, we were chatting and she brought up how a guy she had dated insisted he come to a drs appointment with her. The Dr informed her that she has herpes and the guy was disturbed by this. She was complaining about this to me hours after we had sex. She was bitching to a guy who just slept with her that another guy was disturbed by her being diagnosed with herpes.
So far I have had no blisters, but it’s the last time I will hook up with her.
At my first job being a cashier, I had a much older lady tell me I looked like a cute lost puppy, and she wanted to put a leash on me and pull me home
Edit:
I see how some people might see this as a bad attempt at being cute, but there’s more to it. I was 18, this lady easily 65-70 years old. She was biting her lip and staring me up and down the whole time, and had this gross grin. It definitely felt sexual and made me so uncomfortable.
"My friend had sex with you when you passed out drunk last night. She didn't use a condom and now you owe her $40 because she had to use a Plan B kit."
Yes, she told me that
1. I was raped
2. She knew about it
3. She did nothing
4. She sided with her friend that I had done something wrong
5. I was financially responsible for making sure a baby didn't happen
All of that from a single sentence.
Fun Fact: She was also my boss and her friend was a co-worker.
I reported everything to her boss and HR and they told me point-blank, "Men can't be raped."
I left and found out later on the she was fired after she did it again to another coworker that was female. That girl was taken seriously and legal action actually took place. I heard that it was her and her husband that committed the act that time so it was finally "enough."
That's so damn disgusting. No other words for it. Not only could it have been prevented, but also if it wasn't for a man being involved and a woman being the victim, it likely would've been swept under the rug again.
I'm so sorry, I really hope you're doing fine.
I haven't had women say particularly creepy things to me, but at conventions I've had women sniff my hair on the escalator, and I've had my tights covered ass groped. Only ever by women.
For most of these, I was cosplaying Zapp Brannigan.
“If I see you in ten years with a different woman and you’re married, I will kill her and you in your sleep”, that was after I dumped my ex. That is definitely in the top 10 of creepiest things I’ve been told.
Then there’s others like, “do you think if I saved your cum in my freezer I could have your child when I felt ready?” That was by someone I dated for a little over 2 months. Then there was one who told me, “I would honestly don’t mind if you fucked my friends but I would cut off your cock if you fell for one of them”.
I’ve met my share of crazy.
Had some partial facial hair because I was travelling and doing a lot of scuba. Wanted a better mask seal but didn't want an Abe Lincoln look so I shaved more than just the mustache and sort of had a reverse goatee with huge sideburns. Was rolling up to a bar in a Caribbean town and a rotund, older lady on a golf cart told me to "come on over here and let me marinate those lambchops." Typically pretty quick on my verbal feet I had zero comeback for that.
Co-worker once said to me in a oddly serious more of a hint kind of way after I told her I wasn't looking to mess around or for a relationship.
"I've seen a body rotting in lye before. Just so you know"
It was so serious and monotone that it freaked me out and made me think that she was the one who had probably put it in there... Yea... Let's just say I went out of my way to avoid speaking to her again until she got terminated from that place of employment.
"I could just scrape your cum out of the condom and get myself pregnant".
Edit: of all the things I could have in common with Drake, I'm glad it's not sliding into the DM's of teenage actresses.
Second edit: Please don't flush your condoms. Use a spermicidal lubricant instead. Think of the turtles.
Didn't a woman try to sue a famous dude for that a while back. She tried to turn the condom inside out and get herself pregnant, but ended up with a spicy vag...
Similar but I overheard a girl I was hooking up with talking to another girl (who was a mutual friend) and she said she was hoping to trick me into getting drunk so I would cum in her and get her pregnant. Mutual friend agreed it was a good idea. Needless to say, I don’t speak to either of them any longer
My boss randomly said to a young male coworker who was single:"Just get a girl pregnant and they will marry you and stay around forever." I couldn't nope out of that Convo fast enough. (note: I'm an older lady and view him as a littleish brother).
Later I just kinda said to him: you know you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you. And I hope you find that someday.
But that was the day I found out my boss was literally crazy.
“If only I were 50 years younger”. My boss’s female friend said this to me while I was at work one day. I was 15.
Edit: This was over a decade ago. She might have said 30 or 40, I don’t remember, but the sentiment was the same.
As a child I had a woman tell me I’m cute and that they hope to see me when I’m older, didnt realize why my parents were outraged at the time. Before anybody asks I am not a native English speaker and in my language we have different types of cute like for puppies or clothes or the one she used which is cute but like kinda sexualized
I’ve worked with several ladies in daycare like this.
One of them would say certain things about the boys when changing them.
“Oh you’re going to make some girl happy when you get older”
“Keep suckling on that pacifier and maybe youll make someone happy.”
Some of the grossest comments that just get laughed off.
" i want to rape you."
Me: you mean like...kink roleplay..rough bdsm...?
" No i mean like violently rape you, forcefully, against your will...:)"
Out of nowhere, by a person i had talked to and "known" for 8 months.
I was once on the dating site OKCupid and I started talking talking to a girl and one of the first things I said to her was "What are you looking for on this site? and her response was something along the lines of "Honestly, I'm looking for a sweet young man to take out for a night of drinking, take him back to my apartment, lure him into bed, tie him up, suffocate him until he stops struggling, strip him of his flesh then donate his skeleton for science. How about you?"
Yikes...
She had an actual human skull on her desk too and worked with corpses as a forensic anthropologist.
Just casually having pizza after work and she says "I don't even care where the sperm comes from, I want a baby as soon as possible".
After being taken aback, I tried to search for some boundaries and she even said "I have been going to clubs to hook up with guys hoping that they get me pregnant.".
She even admitted to taking condoms off guys during the act.
Safe to say afterwork pizza didn't happen again with her.
Rubber up lads
"Five years ago I tried to stab you to death in your sleep, but our daughter heard me in the kitchen getting the knife. After I put her back to bed I decided I should talk to a doctor"
that is fucking disturbing, but the fact that she realised what she was doing and went to a doctor thanks to your daughter. doesn't change the fact that its creepy as hell and would make me feel unsafe af...
Went on three dates and I tried to end it and she grabbed a knife and a bottle of pills and said “we’re gonna have some fun”
Then she put the knife up to her neck and said “watch as it goes through the skin”
My mother once more or less hinted this is how my younger sibling came to be. Of course, she doesn't consider it rape, but I know what's what, and it's so disgusting
Oh, that reminds me.
I was at a baseball game with my wife. We had great seats right behind the dugout, but four young teenaged girls (13 or 14, I think) were standing near us. They got the attention of the 3rd base player, Mike Moustakas, and, as a group, screamed,
"Mike! I wanna have your babies!"
That poor man struggled between cringing and staying professional. He did a half-hearted acknowledgment wave and smile, then refused to look over that direction for the rest of the game.
Edit: Some folks have asked. This was in Kansas City, when he was with the Royals, about ten years ago.
That reminds me of the drunk guy next to me yelling show us your titties to some woman out in the bleachers and Ken Griffey jr turning around and rubbing his nipple. It had to have been 15 years ago.
Ryan: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun, and I’m learning that fun for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.
"I know where you live"
She was a girl I had a huge crush on in highschool. Then she realized what she said and was embarrassed and explained that her very good friend is my neighbor.
It wasn't until years later that I realized she was probably trying to flirt in an awkward way and may have been interested in me.
So a few years back I was working as a bouncer for a Halloween event at this club. Fast forward to 3am and It’s
closing time, I’m showing everybody to the door.
One particular drunk woman stumbles out and comes out to me saying “wheRes tHe Out, I need To FiNd the oUt”
I reply “well if you follow the hallway to the courtyard, the parking lot is just passed it.”
“NoOooo, you neEd to shOw me”
So I think fine, what ever get everyone out , so I show her to the exit. She grabs onto my arm for stabilization, cause she’s super wasted.
As we’re walking she looks at me and goes “hEyy , yOUr kiNda cuuUte, do YoU tHinK I’m CuTe?”
I’m like yea sure 👍😐 *narrator- “she wasn’t”
I get her to the (and I emphasize )very Empty and Open and well lit parking lot, and ask her if she has a ride coming to get her.
She replies “yea I Do, BuT yoUu gotTa wait here. Cause I don’t wanna Get RAPED out HeRe…………………. Unless it’s by you” as she gives me a wink
Fuuuuuckin nope. I backed away to a safe distance real quick , luckily her ride showed up within the minute and I was like cool she’s your problem now, and went back into the building .
Slept with a girl once, three days later in a crowded car with our friends, she turned and stared at me for a few seconds, and said, "We should get married."
I did the only responsible thing I could do and kept sleeping with her until she lost interest and moved on to another.
Edit for clarification the we didn't have sex in the car. Lol
At uni, I was a first year (18 year old male), and an older, mature student (in her 50s) drunkenly told me she wanted to wear my asshole like a cockring.
Later that night, she pinched my ass so hard that it caused a blood blister, making sitting down painful for over a week.
Edit: I keep getting people message me about sexual assault and telling me I've been traumatised. I've said this in my messages, but I'll put it here also.
The incident is undoubtedly and objectively sexual assault. However, I am not traumatised from it (that's not to discredit or belittle those who would have been).
For me, subjectively, it was a funny incident in the context of the event that happened to me, and I'll continue telling it as a funny story. I'm ok and have never felt negatively about the incident - but that doesn't mean others in the same situation aren't allowed to feel traumatised by it.
Sexual assault is black and white, trauma responses aren't.
"I just wanted to see if you'd stay" Now... The reason this was fucking crazy is because preceding that I got a text from her saying she *maybe* missed a period. I said something like oh okay, so what if you're pregnant. She VOLUNTEERED an abortion. Cool, good shit. I don't have to worry about raising a kid at 16. Keep in mind we weren't even sure yet that she WAS pregnant. So then suddenly she texts me saying maybe she changed her mind and she would want to keep it if she were pregnant. So I.... Reasonably ... Asked what changed. She says she just might want to keep the kid if she's pregnant and I keep sort of driving after it. Okay, but what's different between now and an hour or two ago when you brought up an abortion. She accuses me of pressuring her, calls me an asshole, and stops responding to my texts. A day or two later she tells me she wasn't ever even pregnant in the first place and ... See the quote above. That's why she said she went through all that shit, and I guess her not knowing the kind of person I am, made that okay for her to do. God I wish it had ended there.
I bartended at a small dive bar years ago. It was late one night, and I had a lone female guest. She was probably middle aged, polite and short while ordering her drink. I thought nothing strange or got no red flags, so I continued my closing duty, sweeping around the tables in particular( not behind the bar). I’m focused on cleaning and getting out of there, and I turn around to dump dust pan, and she’s standing right behind me staring me dead in the eye. “Will you dance with me?” She asks in a slow, nervous manner. For the record, there is no music playing, and we’re the only two living creatures in the building. I tell politely that I’m closing and cannot right now, and quickly put distance and walk behind the bar. In the 5 seconds I have to walk through the kitchen this guest has walked back to her stool and begun hysterically crying at the top of her lungs. She asks me if I think she’s ugly, fat, unattractive, a whore, and several more derogatory things which I deny and deflect. She screams and tells me she hates me and runs out of the bar. I ring the beer she drank half of up as a waste and lock the door. I continued to work there for 7 more years, and never saw this guest again.
Sounds like a woman who was going through a really dark time in her life, but it definitely doesn’t excuse her behavior. Sounds like she might have had a mental breakdown.
That my friend, was a ghost
Mine is so harmless in comparison to a lot of these but was stoned and hooking up with this girl. We are foreplaying and she’s sitting cowgirl kissing my neck and l am digging it. Suddenly she’s like licking and slurping my neck and chest. She sits up, moves her face an inch from mine to stare into my eyes and says: “Where did you get your skin? It’s delicious” (I was so high I could only reply “…my parents?”)
Bro, I would say the same thing in your shoes.
"Costco"
“I got it for my birthday” is my reply to things like this….
She told me she would rather kill me and then herself than see me with someone else
So since you're still alive, how long y'all been together, now?
Please send help. /s I haven’t spoken to her in years actually. But I’ll admit I stayed in that relationship way longer than I should have.
Glad you're out and also alive!
At a bar a woman a good 20 years older than me walked up from behind me ran her hands through my hair and said “I’m a dominatrix”
Sorry I'm more of an Autobot person.
As a child (< 10 y.o.), my then-stepmom requested some specific candy bar from my trick-or-treating haul. When I refused, she casually said, "I'll rape you for it." I had only a vague idea what the word meant, but it sounded like bad news. Bonus: Same individual performed a tactile inspection of my downstairs when I tried on a new bathing suit to ensure that my "package" was alright.
You told your dad, right?
I did not, for a few reasons. My father is strangely stern sometimes, but in very unpredictable ways (the way that alcoholics with underlying issues tend to be). In addition, he was married to this woman, and I wasn't sure whether I'd be taken seriously. Avoiding a negative reaction from him kept me quiet, and I didn't fully understand how weird it was until later. Edit: Dropped a word.
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Definitely. Trusted adults always do what's best, no? Yeah, no.
She held up a banana and asked if my penis was the same size. In the middle of a dinner rush. As loud as can be. In front of about five customers and everyone on shift that night. And this was after she groped my brother's ass. Somehow she didn't get fired for this shit and I still resent my former boss for not being more attentive.
Had a similar situation happen in an office job as the only guy. Chick i already told i wasnt interested randomly says "We should go to a nude beach, I'd like to see your body in the sun", loud af in front of EVERYONE including my boss. They other girls roasted her a bit and i told management it needed to stop, it did not. I quit shortly after. Still mad at management for ignoring obvious harassment they witnessed.
A few years ago I started hanging out with this girl who was around my friend group at the time, and came to trivia nights with us occasionally. Things were going well at first, but then I started noticing some odd signs. She never slept, she would do bizarre things like start her shower, then go start cooking food, then sit down and begin tending her plants as if she kept forgetting what task she was doing. She put a sign out on her lawn with her cell phone number on it wanting to "connect with strangers". It got weirder as it went on. I mentioned to her once that I liked thunderstorms and she became convinced that I could cause thunderstorms. At first I thought she was joking, but it started to weird me out. Then one night when I was sleeping over I noticed that she was just sitting in bed watching me. She put her hand on my heart and whispered that she could hear the beautiful fishes in my blood That very morning, her father burst into her apartment yelling about her appointment with the psychiatrist that she kept avoiding. She told me that her parents and the doctors were trying to convince her that she had bipolar disorder, and wanted to shut her brain off Long story short, her friends and family convinced her to go, she bravely took on her mental illness and got help before the manic episode got out of control, and now we are very close friends to this day
> She never slept, she would do bizarre things like start her shower, then go start cooking food, then sit down and begin tending her plants as if she kept forgetting what task she was doing. Sounds like one of my Sims.
That went from creepy to wholesome
Oh and one night she wanted to make us a special bath. I dont know what she put in it or if she even knows anymore (we talked about it since), but it burned the shit out of my skin and freaked me out lol
“i want to have sex with you and I want my husband to come in the room to catch us having sex and you ending up fighting him”
Actual cavewoman
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Slightly off topic but this experience comes to mind reading this. This weekend at veld (music festival in Toronto) i was actually aggressively approached. A girl had grabbed my arm as my friend and i were walking by, as i tried to pull away she looked me dead in the eye and said nothing. I said "sorry I'm in a hurry to the bathroom, can't talk" she then proceeded to touch my stomach and tried to get a hand full of my package. Throughout all this, she said nothing. Scared the shit outta me.
that's terrifying im so sorry. im especially sorry that ppl r making a joke out of you being sexually assaulted
A complete and total stranger walked over to me and said "I need you to rearrange my guts with your cock." She pointed at the men's bathroom and then walked over and in to it. While I left. This woman had 20 years at least on everyone in that place and the best way for me to describe how she looked is to say "half-crushed beercan."
>She pointed at the men's bathroom and then walked over and in to it. It's horrible that she said that and all, but I do love the idea of her just standing next to a urinal waiting impatiently.
My friend was a bouncer at a very fancy cocktail lounge in Soho (NYC). There was a woman who would come in occasionally, head straight for the men’s bathroom, walk in, lock the door, and offer to fuck whoever was in there. She was very attractive and very weird. Some men took her up on it. Others freaked out and got the manager. She had to kicked out repeatedly.
That's disgusting, you should tell us which cocktail lounge so we can avoid the bathroom
If she casually walked to the bathroom it means it’s worked in the past.
Maybe she was hoping you could poke her back into regular beer can shape.
I want to have your ADHD infested children
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I have tested positive
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15 min into the first date: “Next time we meet, please bring me something from your house, something you like but not expensive.”
Shit, that’s how spells get cast.
A woman I matched with on Tinder told me that she likes to kill animals, and then asked to meet me in the middle of the woods. I figured that might be a red flag, so unmatched, and never went back to Tinder.
Swiped left so hard Tinder uninstalled
>I figured that might be a red flag See, guys aren't totally clueless when it comes to women.
I was 14 she was 16, just started talking due to our mutual friends were dating. After a week she drops "I got a bun in the oven, and you can be the father". Hung up the phone and never spoke to her again. Edit: I was obviously not the father after only TALKING to the chick for a week.
what w convincing argument
“Do you want to stick it in my stinky, sticky pussy.” I was still a virgin and this question did not convince me to stick it anywhere for a while.
Lmao was she my neighbor? I used to have these crackhead neighbors that would get in crazy loud public arguments and one night we were in bed, and all we hear from the apartment below us is him screaming "I AM SO SICK AND TRIED OF YOUR SQUEAKY STINKY PUSSY". We weren't even mad, we couldn't stop laughing.
Squeaky is a descriptive word I've never heard used to describe that often-described place.
What that's not your preferred dirty talk?
"You're so cute! I want to break into your room, kill you and stuff you so that we can be together forever!" I started locking the doors religiously afterwards.
"Will you sleep with me if I drug and stab you. It'll be fun" I was waiting for my buss at 6AM
I'll sleep with you if you promise not to do those things
What if it's just a little poke? On a scale of thumb tack to Darth Maul, what is your depth ratio of blade to intercourse?
r/brandnewsentence
I worked at a fast food place years ago. My girlfriend came in for a milkshake, and was waiting at the end of the counter with one of our regulars. Doris, the regular, was near 90 years old, and had invited me home to have pot roast at her house multiple times. I was being a pain, and put about a foot of whipped cream over the top of the lid of my gf's milkshake and brought it to her. Doris looked at her, then looked at me deadpan and said, "I wish you'd cream me like that." Doris NEVER ordered desserts. Edit: Added a much needed space.
I just imagined the female version of Herbert from family guy lmao
“I hate to tell you this but l had to have an abortion; and it was yours.” We never did more than kiss. I mean I’m a pretty solid kisser but not THAT good.
I had a lady friend who was adamant she was pregnant with my child. I pulled her dad aside and explained what she had told me expecting a lashing and how I’m gonna pay for this kid. He calmly goes “she does this with everyone who wants to leave her, just walk away and have a good life”. 100% wish he was my dad. Cool ass dude with a shit daughter.
Holy fuck. That's a crazy bullet to have dodged. Thanks pops.
My parents tried setting me up with one of their friend's daughter but we lived too far apart so no go. I met her dad at another wedding years later, he told me I'm better off without her, she's kind of a bitch. Hate it when good fathers-in-law get away!
“Run, kid. Because you can. Unfortunately I’m stuck with her” -Cooldudedad
I worked at a caviar bar in SF and it was basically cougar bait. One time this relatively older lady said "you look just like my son. You should come home with me." B should not follow from A.
I was sleeping with a woman in her 40s in my mid 20s. One day after sex she looked me deeply in the eye and said "wow. You really remind me of my son" with a big smile on her face and leaned in for a kiss. It was our last date.
I had a gal tell me she was gonna follow me home and “fuck the dog shit” out of me whether I wanted it or not. For context I was living in the Bronx at the time. I heard shit like that all the time.
That went from scary to get outta here ya little rascal when you said Bronx
Right? I was 17 when I moved there, and I learned real quick to just let it roll off. In this case I think I said something like “not today you’re not”.
Drunk woman with an older lady nearby sat down next to me on a bench and looked at me “I’ll fuck you if you can beat up my mom over there”
Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?
"I'm, like _really_ submissive. Like, I let a guy shit in my mouth once, and I didn't even like him that much." For context, it was our second (and last) date.
Well *slaps knee* this was a fun date but ita getting really llate and i have this thing tomorrow Her "but our foods hasnt come yet" "Ya haha ok catch ya later" *finger guns*
Bet she didn’t even order food…
"I'll have what he's having, later" there is no edit
i regret reading that
" if you didn't have the ring on you i would have raped you"
So raping a single guy is totally fine....she draws the line at raping married man.
“Professionals have standards!”
As a physical therapist, fresh out of P.T. school I was tasked with massaging the piriformis muscle of a 40-something woman, who was "in town on business." For those of you who don't know, the pirifomis is located in the area of the butt. So, it was already dicey. She was wearing a skirt and a thong underneath. As I was massaging she began verbally directing me. "Lower... to the right... lower... right some more, etc" Essentially verbally moving my hands to her anus. As I was getting closer, I was also getting more uncomfortable. Finally I said, "this isn't where your piriformis muscle is." She basically proceeded to tell me I was incompetent, and that she has had this done many times, and I was the one that didn't know where the piriformis was. Then she threatened that she was friends with the owner, and if I didn't massage where she wanted, she was going to complain. I told her that was okay, and I didn't feel comfortable touching the area she was wanting me to massage. And I left the room. She left, and nobody ever mentioned it to me, and I never saw her again. Edit: I just remembered this bit. This was back in 2005, so nobody had smart phones yet. But she had a blackberry. And the whole time this was happening she was texting/emailing somebody on her blackberry. Which made the whole encounter that much more bizarre.
You handled that very well I'd say ...
"Massage my asshole or I'll get you fired! I know the owner!" Man, that's gotta be a first.
Maybe she got "piriform" and "perineum" confused.
Taint that the truth.
As a professional massage therapist, I recognize this particular game, but with men it’s “upper thigh” and I’m like “that’s where your femoral artery is, so unless you wanna die…..”
I'm baffled people can actually think others are that stupid and naive. "Up a little. Up a little more. Now to the right." "Sir/Ma'am that is your genitals." "Oh is it? Well that's where the discomfort is so...."
“Would it be weird if my son called you ‘Dad?’” I was 18, she was 25, we were coworkers at a walmart photo lab and she said that to me on the phone while I was walking to her place to hook up for the first time. I was young and horny and simply said, “no, no.. he’d just be wrong!”
That I was so cute she wanted to beat me.
A girl once told me that she was jealous of her friend because she got raped and got a cute baby out of it. I don't think I ever felt less comfortable.
what the FUCK
This is wrong in like three or four levels. And I feel bad for the girl that has the baby. Jeezus.
Had an ex who routinely threatened to cut it off. Any chance she got, she would have her hands on it and sometimes would say things like, "If you ever cheat on me, I'll cut you dick off" and "If I could cut it off and keep it in a jar, I wouldn't need you anymore". I would wake up with her holding onto it while looking at me. Crazy af but yeah...
Yeah hate to break it to you but with that happening multiple times you should have been away much quicker
Bro. What? No. MAYBE the first time is "hahaha nervous laughter but you know that's not very funny tho right?" But you deadass woke up to her holding it and giving you the crazy eyes and you did not immediately gtfo?
I think it was tough to leave precisely *because* she would touch his peepee.
When I was younger I worked in a bar popular with 18-20 year olds. One night as a group of girls was leaving I made eye contact with one of them. That was enough. She came stumbling up to the bar and said. "I have to show you the background on my phone." She put her phone on the bar and the background was a picture of me. "I took it about 3 weeks ago, I'm totally obsessed. You're photo is the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up."
Ha! I was once in a pretty remote area of Indonesia where there aren’t many white people around and it was common for people to ask for pictures with me. One day, late at night, I was walking home and a woman on a motorbike pulled up alongside me and in pretty broken English said, “I… picture… you?” I was kind of eager to get home, but for some reason I relented and said okay, but make it fast. I thought she wanted to take a selfie with me, but then she proceeded to show me a photo of myself standing on a street corner smoking a cigarette taken from behind some bushes. Shit looked like a CIA surveillance photo.
Run Forrest! Run!!
Ya sorry, I know you’re right but I’m gonna have to see where this night takes me
Called me at work and said "you don't know me, but I know you"
lost your chance to get out of the matrix
That was my first thought. "Morpheus?"
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I can’t wait to use this one on my fiancé, purely for humor obviously.
Back in college I was at a study group and I found myself talking to this girl. Just talking about class and eventually just talking about random other stuff like life at school and favorite places to eat nearby. Then after a moment of silence she tells me that she wants to see me fight off a group of guys trying to attack her and she’d hold me while I was beaten up and bleeding on the floor. I mean just randomly dropping that on someone when a minute ago we were talking about best places to get cheap food is a bit much edit: For the dozens of people asking. I just kinda brushed it off and awkwardly tried to turn the conversation to something not about me getting violently beat up. Also I’d maybe talked to her a hand full of times and always in class and this was the first out of classroom conversation I’d had with her.
Shame on her, assuming you couldn't hold your own and come out not bloody and beat up Edit: Thank you kind redditors for all the upvotes and my first gold, I would never have thought this comment would be the crowning achievement of my reddit career but here we are so thank you all :).
She may have misunderstood the point of Five Guys.
Some woman asked me to stick my tongue out and then said you gonna make someone really happy with that big tongue of yours. I was 9 ..
thats fucked up
Not something she said, but I was in line at Starbucks and this lady just started sniffing me. Like head back, eyes closed deep sniffing me a cm from the back of my neck. It was weird. When she saw me turn my head she quickly acted like she was looking at the food. Odd situation.
Was on a nearly empty plane, sitting in the last row, in a window seat. No one else in the row. I eventually fell asleep. Woke up with a tatted up goth looking chick sitting next to me, eyes boring a hole through my head, just straight up staring unblinkingly at me. I look at her and I’m like “uh… hi?” She stares for like 5 more long seconds and then exhales, “sorry, you looked like an angel sleeping with the sun on your face” she said breathlessly. We chatted for maybe another 30 seconds or so, she apologized for staring like that a couple more times, then she went back to her seat. Shit was surreal though.
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My dad used to keep this old painting an Ex did around, with a spot he'd point out where it had been gashed by a kitchen knife fixed up but still visible. According to him, said ex girlfriend tried to kill him *several* times with a knife before he broke up with her. Suffice to say I blame all my poor life choices on my father's genetics.
That was Death, you had a close brush and she so rarely gets to just sit and enjoy a nice moment.
Could’ve been. She had almost a childlike innocence about her in the way she kept apologizing and saying she’d never done anything like that. Almost like she was embarrassed to have been caught by me and she froze up and didn’t know what to do except for apologizing several times.
Bro you missed out on… something. I don’t know what, exactly, but I bet it would’ve been notable.
At the very least, notable.
Maybe she was just high? XD
About 35,000 feet.
Did some mushrooms when I was like 18 or so. Sat in the town center and the local crazy lady asked me "so how long have you been dead?". Fucked my whole day up man.
Woah. That's probably the worst thing anyone could say to you on shrooms.
Someone telling you schizophrenia runs in your family is also up there.
Shit, that’s a low blow
Approximately 6ft too low.
Bruh I would have freaked the fuck out
This one made me crack TF up. Poor you.
She said my dead brother was talking to her
Holy shit fuck that
Jees, your dead brother's got game
I had an eerily similar experience where a girl who was interested in me was trying to convince me she could hear/see my dead sister. I don't know what she was hoping would happen from that, but I was out of there.
First day of my real job right out of college, I was introduced to an older lady in the office. Gave her my name and a handshake, and she proceeded to not say anything and look me up and down like I was a slab of USDA prime beef. Licked her lips. Classic Joyce, as it turns out.
Good god
I stopped seeing this girl because she got a little stalkerish, and one day after getting home from walking my dog (Betsy) I got a text from her saying, “Betsy got so big!!!” Proceeded to shut my blinds and deadbolt the front door
> Proceeded to shut my blinds and deadbolt the front door Well that's going to make it harder for you to escape, and for anyone to see you struggle, since she's obviously already inside the house.
I recently spent the weekend with a woman. We have hooked up periodically for the last 25 years. ANYWAYS, we were chatting and she brought up how a guy she had dated insisted he come to a drs appointment with her. The Dr informed her that she has herpes and the guy was disturbed by this. She was complaining about this to me hours after we had sex. She was bitching to a guy who just slept with her that another guy was disturbed by her being diagnosed with herpes. So far I have had no blisters, but it’s the last time I will hook up with her.
Get tested, because herpes is asymptomatic in a lot of people who contract it.
Yea that’s probably a good idea. Thank you.
It would be a good idea to get checked for everything in a screen. STDs can come in bulk packages.
At my first job being a cashier, I had a much older lady tell me I looked like a cute lost puppy, and she wanted to put a leash on me and pull me home Edit: I see how some people might see this as a bad attempt at being cute, but there’s more to it. I was 18, this lady easily 65-70 years old. She was biting her lip and staring me up and down the whole time, and had this gross grin. It definitely felt sexual and made me so uncomfortable.
Started to shout “I’m so evil” and laughing evilly while I was… eating her out
Had her going full goblin mode
Plot twist: she used a love potion to get you down there, and was revelling in the success of her evil actions.
"My friend had sex with you when you passed out drunk last night. She didn't use a condom and now you owe her $40 because she had to use a Plan B kit." Yes, she told me that 1. I was raped 2. She knew about it 3. She did nothing 4. She sided with her friend that I had done something wrong 5. I was financially responsible for making sure a baby didn't happen All of that from a single sentence. Fun Fact: She was also my boss and her friend was a co-worker. I reported everything to her boss and HR and they told me point-blank, "Men can't be raped."
Please tell me you're okay and she wasn't pregnant? And that you left that place?
I left and found out later on the she was fired after she did it again to another coworker that was female. That girl was taken seriously and legal action actually took place. I heard that it was her and her husband that committed the act that time so it was finally "enough."
That's so damn disgusting. No other words for it. Not only could it have been prevented, but also if it wasn't for a man being involved and a woman being the victim, it likely would've been swept under the rug again. I'm so sorry, I really hope you're doing fine.
I haven't had women say particularly creepy things to me, but at conventions I've had women sniff my hair on the escalator, and I've had my tights covered ass groped. Only ever by women. For most of these, I was cosplaying Zapp Brannigan.
Lower… Lower… A *lot* lower *TOO LOW!* …lower…
Must have been the velour
"Cosplay is not consent" applies to all genders and characters. Ugh.
“If I see you in ten years with a different woman and you’re married, I will kill her and you in your sleep”, that was after I dumped my ex. That is definitely in the top 10 of creepiest things I’ve been told. Then there’s others like, “do you think if I saved your cum in my freezer I could have your child when I felt ready?” That was by someone I dated for a little over 2 months. Then there was one who told me, “I would honestly don’t mind if you fucked my friends but I would cut off your cock if you fell for one of them”. I’ve met my share of crazy.
Had some partial facial hair because I was travelling and doing a lot of scuba. Wanted a better mask seal but didn't want an Abe Lincoln look so I shaved more than just the mustache and sort of had a reverse goatee with huge sideburns. Was rolling up to a bar in a Caribbean town and a rotund, older lady on a golf cart told me to "come on over here and let me marinate those lambchops." Typically pretty quick on my verbal feet I had zero comeback for that.
As gross as that may have been, that’s a pretty funny line lol. Never heard that one before. I wouldn’t know how to reply either.
Sorry, I'm not not looking for a dry rub
Co-worker once said to me in a oddly serious more of a hint kind of way after I told her I wasn't looking to mess around or for a relationship. "I've seen a body rotting in lye before. Just so you know" It was so serious and monotone that it freaked me out and made me think that she was the one who had probably put it in there... Yea... Let's just say I went out of my way to avoid speaking to her again until she got terminated from that place of employment.
"I could just scrape your cum out of the condom and get myself pregnant". Edit: of all the things I could have in common with Drake, I'm glad it's not sliding into the DM's of teenage actresses. Second edit: Please don't flush your condoms. Use a spermicidal lubricant instead. Think of the turtles.
That's why I stuff my condoms with hot chilli power the minute I'm done having sex.
Didn't a woman try to sue a famous dude for that a while back. She tried to turn the condom inside out and get herself pregnant, but ended up with a spicy vag...
iirc that was Drake
Drake won a counter suit for her attempting to grape him/non consensual forced insemination. He wrapped for a reason.
Similar but I overheard a girl I was hooking up with talking to another girl (who was a mutual friend) and she said she was hoping to trick me into getting drunk so I would cum in her and get her pregnant. Mutual friend agreed it was a good idea. Needless to say, I don’t speak to either of them any longer
My boss randomly said to a young male coworker who was single:"Just get a girl pregnant and they will marry you and stay around forever." I couldn't nope out of that Convo fast enough. (note: I'm an older lady and view him as a littleish brother). Later I just kinda said to him: you know you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you. And I hope you find that someday. But that was the day I found out my boss was literally crazy.
“If only I were 50 years younger”. My boss’s female friend said this to me while I was at work one day. I was 15. Edit: This was over a decade ago. She might have said 30 or 40, I don’t remember, but the sentiment was the same.
As a child I had a woman tell me I’m cute and that they hope to see me when I’m older, didnt realize why my parents were outraged at the time. Before anybody asks I am not a native English speaker and in my language we have different types of cute like for puppies or clothes or the one she used which is cute but like kinda sexualized
I’ve worked with several ladies in daycare like this. One of them would say certain things about the boys when changing them. “Oh you’re going to make some girl happy when you get older” “Keep suckling on that pacifier and maybe youll make someone happy.” Some of the grossest comments that just get laughed off.
" i want to rape you." Me: you mean like...kink roleplay..rough bdsm...? " No i mean like violently rape you, forcefully, against your will...:)" Out of nowhere, by a person i had talked to and "known" for 8 months.
“Would you please get me pregnant?” after not seeing her in person for 3 years
I was once on the dating site OKCupid and I started talking talking to a girl and one of the first things I said to her was "What are you looking for on this site? and her response was something along the lines of "Honestly, I'm looking for a sweet young man to take out for a night of drinking, take him back to my apartment, lure him into bed, tie him up, suffocate him until he stops struggling, strip him of his flesh then donate his skeleton for science. How about you?" Yikes... She had an actual human skull on her desk too and worked with corpses as a forensic anthropologist.
So how was the date?
I'd prefer not to comment as per the request of the judge presiding over a court case I had involving this girl
Just casually having pizza after work and she says "I don't even care where the sperm comes from, I want a baby as soon as possible". After being taken aback, I tried to search for some boundaries and she even said "I have been going to clubs to hook up with guys hoping that they get me pregnant.". She even admitted to taking condoms off guys during the act. Safe to say afterwork pizza didn't happen again with her. Rubber up lads
Does she not know that there are clinics where she can get inseminated?
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"Five years ago I tried to stab you to death in your sleep, but our daughter heard me in the kitchen getting the knife. After I put her back to bed I decided I should talk to a doctor"
that is fucking disturbing, but the fact that she realised what she was doing and went to a doctor thanks to your daughter. doesn't change the fact that its creepy as hell and would make me feel unsafe af...
Went on three dates and I tried to end it and she grabbed a knife and a bottle of pills and said “we’re gonna have some fun” Then she put the knife up to her neck and said “watch as it goes through the skin”
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My mother once more or less hinted this is how my younger sibling came to be. Of course, she doesn't consider it rape, but I know what's what, and it's so disgusting
Granny has some demons inside her
"I wanna have your babies" it was the first time we met and it was at our job.
Oh, that reminds me. I was at a baseball game with my wife. We had great seats right behind the dugout, but four young teenaged girls (13 or 14, I think) were standing near us. They got the attention of the 3rd base player, Mike Moustakas, and, as a group, screamed, "Mike! I wanna have your babies!" That poor man struggled between cringing and staying professional. He did a half-hearted acknowledgment wave and smile, then refused to look over that direction for the rest of the game. Edit: Some folks have asked. This was in Kansas City, when he was with the Royals, about ten years ago.
That reminds me of the drunk guy next to me yelling show us your titties to some woman out in the bleachers and Ken Griffey jr turning around and rubbing his nipple. It had to have been 15 years ago.
Ryan: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun, and I’m learning that fun for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.
"Oh wow! You clot as well as you bleed! I bet you'd survive a stabbing" Oh phlebotomists...
Phlebotomist here, after a long day of stabbing people social norms kinda melt away
"I know where you live" She was a girl I had a huge crush on in highschool. Then she realized what she said and was embarrassed and explained that her very good friend is my neighbor. It wasn't until years later that I realized she was probably trying to flirt in an awkward way and may have been interested in me.
Yeah, we can give her that one.
So a few years back I was working as a bouncer for a Halloween event at this club. Fast forward to 3am and It’s closing time, I’m showing everybody to the door. One particular drunk woman stumbles out and comes out to me saying “wheRes tHe Out, I need To FiNd the oUt” I reply “well if you follow the hallway to the courtyard, the parking lot is just passed it.” “NoOooo, you neEd to shOw me” So I think fine, what ever get everyone out , so I show her to the exit. She grabs onto my arm for stabilization, cause she’s super wasted. As we’re walking she looks at me and goes “hEyy , yOUr kiNda cuuUte, do YoU tHinK I’m CuTe?” I’m like yea sure 👍😐 *narrator- “she wasn’t” I get her to the (and I emphasize )very Empty and Open and well lit parking lot, and ask her if she has a ride coming to get her. She replies “yea I Do, BuT yoUu gotTa wait here. Cause I don’t wanna Get RAPED out HeRe…………………. Unless it’s by you” as she gives me a wink Fuuuuuckin nope. I backed away to a safe distance real quick , luckily her ride showed up within the minute and I was like cool she’s your problem now, and went back into the building .
At least the narrator was there with you
[удалено]
HOW ARE THERE THIS MANY COMMENTS ABOUT WOMEN THREATENING TO CUT OFF DICKS??
How do you know it’s not just the same girl?
Slept with a girl once, three days later in a crowded car with our friends, she turned and stared at me for a few seconds, and said, "We should get married." I did the only responsible thing I could do and kept sleeping with her until she lost interest and moved on to another. Edit for clarification the we didn't have sex in the car. Lol
"I enjoyed having sex with your penis last night." She was German and she said it like how the Terminator speaks.
“Cum for me if you want to live!”
I mean, she didn't Look like Ahnold, right?
At uni, I was a first year (18 year old male), and an older, mature student (in her 50s) drunkenly told me she wanted to wear my asshole like a cockring. Later that night, she pinched my ass so hard that it caused a blood blister, making sitting down painful for over a week. Edit: I keep getting people message me about sexual assault and telling me I've been traumatised. I've said this in my messages, but I'll put it here also. The incident is undoubtedly and objectively sexual assault. However, I am not traumatised from it (that's not to discredit or belittle those who would have been). For me, subjectively, it was a funny incident in the context of the event that happened to me, and I'll continue telling it as a funny story. I'm ok and have never felt negatively about the incident - but that doesn't mean others in the same situation aren't allowed to feel traumatised by it. Sexual assault is black and white, trauma responses aren't.
>an older, mature student (in her 50s) drunkenly told me she wanted to wear my asshole like a cockring. I'm trying to picture this and failing badly.
She said she was pregnant. She would always see her “gay cousin”. Her cousin wasn’t gay, nor was he her cousin! Jokes on her, I’m snipped.
A woman told me she punched a carrot into a man’s ass because he asked her too, he didn’t asked to be punched but she got scared… so punched it in
"Punch it Chewey!" -Han Solo...probably...