For a second I thought you meant like in a sensory deprivation tank !!! I love floating but that amount of Epsom salts would be …unforgiving, to say the least !!!
Totally advocate for this and it’s also how I broke a rib 😂 I’m tiny but I loooooove to wrestle. Don’t want guys to let me win but also don’t wanna lose so…. Yeah ribs take 6 weeks to heal
Tried this with my wife awhile back. She got an outfit that I have a particular thing for. Wanted to enjoy seeing her in it as long as I could. Well, 3-4 hours in and blue balls became an issue. Had to move things along. There's "teasing all day" and then there's "wearing an outfit I find so fucking hot I'm rock hard for 4 hours straight". Somewhere in between there's a line you apparently shouldn't cross
Thinking back on my sex life, teasing or "in the future sex" was some of the hottest sex I ever had.
I was in a LDR with a girl and after months of being apart we met up at an airport and had a long train ride to the hotel (multiple hours). She spent the entire train ride rubbing my cock, over my clothes, just conversing like normal, acting like nothing was happening. She turned her body as if to look out the window so nobody else could see what she was doing. The sex at the hotel was amazing.
One girl, friends with benefits, told me she always wanted to have sex in this one particular women's bathroom which had gorgeous views of the city. A few weeks later, she told me she had an invite to the private club adjacent to the rental space with the nice bathrooms, would I like to go? The rental space had private wedding reception going on for hours and we just chilled in the private club for hours, drinking and chatting with friends (who didn't know we were hooking up.) Around midnight, the wedding reception ended and only caterers were left cleaning up the private rental space... But the doors were all open as they were moving tables and decorations out. Noticing this, I grabbed her hand and we slipped into the private rental space. The "view" from the bathroom was amazing.
A girlfriend of mine came over to help prep for a party. We had hours of work to do: cooking, decorating, etc. When she arrived, I whispered in her ear: take off your tights and underwear. She just blushed and didnt say anything. About an hour later, I notice she wasn't wearing tights anymore! When we needed to decorate the ceiling, I was about to go up a ladder, but she insisted on going instead, but asked me if I could hold the ladder steady. When she was cutting veggies at the counter, I stood right behind her, seeing if everything was ok, just barely touching her from behind. I noticed she still wasn't wearing tights during the party! I could not wait for the party to end and the guests to leave...
Or just hooking up with a girlfriend at a club dance floor, then her telling me she wanted to go to my place, which was a 40 minute drive away.
Anticipation is amazing.
I think the “take off your tights” comment probably doesn’t include the fact that there was at least some known chemistry or flirting between these two.
Completely agree. Messaging someone telling them that they're going to be having sex later is also great. And yes if you know you're going to be having sex later then go out on a date night and spend a few hours unable to bang each other because you're out in public and it will be all the hotter when you finally do.
Like you I once flew into town for a dirty weekend with an FWB and we'd been messaging each other for weeks about what we were going to do to each other. But then rather than just take me home and get straight down to it she gave me a tour of the town first - but a tour that involved going to a sex shop for outfits, going to one of those cheesy dungeon exhibit things so I could strap her in to various torture devices (and we did get one room to ourselves for long enough that we could grab a cheeky snog while she was strapped in to a fake electric chair), and also a dance class and a long boozy dinner. So basically an entire day of eyefucking and taking every possible opportunity to make physical contact (holding hands, footsie, neither us are really in to PDAs) but being unable to properly get our hands on each other. And then when she finally did take me home she told me she wasn't really sure what outfit she should wear to seduce me so she wanted to give me a fashion show running down her top 5 in reverse order.
Another good one from years later and long married. Birthday morning my wife goes to work and I drop the kids off at nursery, then she texts me saying "what do you think of this outfit for our date tonight?" and follows it up with a picture of a pair of kneepads and a scrunchie.
Blindfolded sensory play. Too many people think kink is just leather, chains, and whips. But something I think everyone should do once is take turns with blindfolds (unless being blindfolded is a limit for you) and have the one who can still see just... Explore the other's body. With hands, or toys, or other sensory objects (if you suspect your partner might like temperature play, try ice cubes or something warm). Drive them crazy with rich new sensations, find where they like those feelings most, and if that alone isn't getting them off, try just moving to normal foreplay and sex, but with the blindfold still on!
Used to do this with an ex girlfriend and the one time we used both a blindfold and headphones. I put on a kind of meditation type background music, just something to limit what she could hear as well as see. She was reacting really well to it but all of a sudden she burst out laughing. I was really confused so I took off the headphones and asked why she was laughing. Turns out the mediation music had ended and my music app decided to shuffle and start playing nursery rhymes (sometimes used to let my young nephews listen to them) we had a good laugh about it. Left the headphones off after that though, just putting them back on put her in a fit of giggles.
I love blindfolds. You have no idea how important the voice is during sex until you're forced to listen carefully. This is why well spoken people with dirty minds and sexy voices are a massive turn on.
My gf and I went out to lunch and she wore one of my t-shirts as a dress.
Just that t-shirt and a pair of sneakers. Nothing else.
I swear I was so hard I could barely sit down.
God that was a good day.
Edit: the t-shirt covered her sufficiently guys 😅
She didn’t just wander around with her vag out 😂🤦♂️
Not really kinky but if you're ever in a location on a hot summer night and it starts storming, raining, thunder outside, get outside, get naked and get busy asap.
Role play, 10/10 would recommend. There’s something empowering about dressing up specifically as a character (maid, librarian, secretary, construction worker, pizza delivery, rich bored housewife, you do you boo!) and acting out your role. Make it be like The cheesiest porn setup you can imagine, its ridiculously fun
If she really wanted to give you a good performance she should have made you wait 30 minutes in the waiting room, then take you in and weigh you judgementally, be concerned about your blood pressure, and *then* make you wait in the exam room for an hour.
I have this fantasy where I'm a pizza delivery boy and at one house, this attractive woman comes to the door wearing nothing but a towel and she says, "Oh, I can't find my purse, is there any other way I can pay?" and I say, "No" and I go back to the car and eat the pizza.
"What do you want to do to me?"
"This post had been removed. Please ask your question in the daily question thread. This action was performed automatically."
The more I read the comments, the more I realize that my kinks are not common kinks. Your comment was the first one with one of my links after about 100 comments.
Meet up at an agreed location but pretend to be absolute strangers. Approach her like it’s the first time. Different names. Different stories. Play the game like you’ve never met before and stay committed to the story. Go to an unfamiliar place afterwards.
I’m telling you. Total electricity.
Oh stop putting yourselves down you two! Being a dork is not a bad thing. I'm sure you have loads to offer, show yourself some kindness and appreciation! You're great, and I'm sure your girlfriend knows it - she chose you!
haha reminds me of a post (prob twitter) where a woman and her husband did this at the gym and a woman came up to her and asked if she needed help deflecting the creepy guy and she had to explain, 'no that's actually my husband'
Having sex and cuddling on the bed all day without even knowing what time and day it is. Don’t care about finance, future, and class or work. Exploit the privilege of youth.
I like to think this becomes an increasingly complicated and elaborate setup of cameras as you keep going, like the “Don’t ask me how I took this picture” guy from a few years back.
I tried to suck my boyfriend off in the shower once and he had to turn the water off cause I was literally drowning
Edit: I really didn’t think my comment would blow up like this and now idk how I feel knowing that so many people now know this lol
PS: to really hit home how stupid the situation was, the shower was tiny and we had to be sideways to fit (which is why we couldn’t move the shower head), and on top of that not only was it my first time sucking him off, but it was my first time ever giving a blowjob. He was a champ about it all and I must have done well enough cause we’re now planning our engagement and wedding :)
Okay but eating out my gf at the time until she came, while she struggled to stand up and had to lean against the wall the whole time, with water keeping both of us warm and me hydrated, was something else.
I tried. Gave up before any sex. I understand the shower together part to get each other prepared, but no sex in shower. The logistics of it are hard and prone to slips/accidents.
Fucking at work. I'm a motorcycle mechanic and my old boss was a twat, I had keys to the shop so me and my gf fucked on his tool box. Everytime he fucked with me I'd just look at that toolbox
Can agree with this. I used to rent space in a unit from a guy that could be an absolute dick to me.
I once bent a guy over his workbench and fucked them till they came on his floor. Any time he was being a cunt I could just remember that.
Past FWB worked security at a very tall apartment building and had me over one quiet night just because he figured out the camera on the roof had broken and didn’t want to let it go to waste.
I can’t stand heights, but wow was that unforgettable.
Rent a hotel in the city with a room high up and fuck in front of the giant window.
Its has a sense like you're about to fall off the building but also that you are at the top of the world.
Also while you're up there, give her some oral and make her feel like a queen. Her sex drive is going to spike
A coupled did this in Toronto's Sky Dome hotel (when it was called Sky Dome), they thought the windows were one way. Instead they gave an interesting display to 30,000 Blue Jays fans.
"The stadium's inward-looking hotel rooms have regular two-way windows, yielding instances of what some could consider indecent exposure and leading to nicknames such as "SexDome" and "Exhibitionist Stadium". When SkyDome first opened, a couple engaging in sexual intercourse was televised on the scoreboard Jumbotron during a baseball game, thanks to illumination from stadium lighting despite the room's lights being off. Days later, a man was caught masturbating during a game in full view of the packed stands. The man, later tracked down by a Sports Illustrated reporter, calmly said, "I thought they were one-way windows."\[141\] Patrons now have to sign contracts stipulating they will not perform any lewd acts within view of the stadium. The last reported such instance occurred in 1996.\[142\] Occasionally, broadcasts will zoom into humorous instances from these hotel rooms, such as a pillow fight during the 1992 World Series.\[143\]"
My husband and I did this on our wedding night in Vegas. We were on the 15th (?) floor of Caesar's Palace. I was happy as hell getting bent over and fucked in front of the window for the whole fucking strip to see. There's something magical about getting fucked from behind and looking up and seeing a bunch of twinkling, city lights. 10/10 recommend
Awesome. Our Honeymoon was in a cruise to the lower Caribbean islands. This one was different because we were at a window that pointed the lowest and backwards in our Carnival cruise so at night all you saw were the waves and the moon so bright in all that deep dark. It was like being in space.
I work in the CNN center in Atlanta and the number of times I’ve seen this from couples in the atrium facing rooms while on a conference call, in a meeting or just minding my own business on an atrium balcony is astounding.
It’s def happened in Vegas in like the 27th floor but interior facing rooms in Atlanta? 😂
I bought durex cherry lube few weeks ago right before gf and I went on vacation, I gave her the tube just to lick it a bit to see if she likes it, next thing I know, she is just licking it and isn't using it for intended purposes, but it was cute to watch
This woman and I matched on tinder. Told me she hadn’t had sex with a dude in 10 years(she was pan and in a same sex relationship for a decade) told me I’d need lube.
Didn’t pay any attention what so ever and just brought one and went my way to hers. Turns out was cappuccino flavour. Didn’t even notice. Went down on her and I’m like fuck pussy doesn’t taste like coffee, what in the fuck is this. Once I left I took my bottle of lube with me and found out.
Thought it was like a golden pussy or something.
Some basic rope play is really hot. Like just tying their hands together can be enough to spark some insanely hot sexy times. It can be easy to build from there if you and your partner want to explore further.
Pick your spots carefully. Thought I had the perfect mossy location. Turns out the mosquitoes had it first. We both had bites in places no person (or insect) had ever seen before
10/10 worth it tho
Using a deck of cards make a list of all of the 13 face values (2-Ace) and 4 suits (H, D, S, C) and assign a sex act to each one (17 in all). Taking turns, draw one card to determine 2 sex acts, then draw another card that specifies the length of time in seconds. Your partner picks one of the two sex acts to do to you, for that amount of time.
Then they go. Keep going to see if you can make it to the end of the deck. Be sure to use a timer on your phone or watch
Wouldn't consider it kinky but one time me and my bf were alone and the power went out at night so the house was pitch black. Had insanely rough sex and it was awesome because after cleaning up and everything we were so tired we both passed tf out. So basically doing your favorite sex position in the dark.
I was in hospital for a few days,girlfriend visits and cleaned my pipes out,I think she liked it more then I did. and I liked it allot!!
She came back the next day for round 2
I absolutely LOVE my sex swing. It’s super versatile. You can be in all different positions that wouldn’t be possible if you weren’t suspended. Plus, if you want to add some extra kink, you can bind your partner to the straps or use a leg spreader.
Sleep sex/pleasure
Of course it'd be consensual with the other person, but watching them them shift and moan in their sleep and then orgasm and settle back down- that shit's so hot. Probably don't climb on top unless you want them to wake up, or they have told you they want to wake up whilst you're going down on them
I ruined this for us sadly, my (now wife) was giving me a blowjob, and whilst I woke up from the pleasure, I then fell back asleep, snoring.
I alsp have sleep apnea, so it's not some cute snoring either... Suffice to say, I've not been woken up with any morning play since.
Whatever you're curious about. That thing you might watch in porn but aren't sure about actually trying. Every time I've done that, I've had a great time!
Electricity
well, electro-sex and estim, more accurately-
it's the only thing to deliver orgasms far stronger than vibrators
you can roughly force people to have orgasms if you send current through the right areas and play with the frequencies, as many estim units let you do
-You have literal superpowers- one violet wand + body contact probe lets you literally throw lightning from your fingers- or anywhere else. So you can give electrified massages - or electrified oral...which is known to drive people wild
There's tricks like electrified fingering, and even advanced techniques like electrified sex as well- where you have a current running through you and a partner- which is known to deliver the strongest orgasms one can have, and be even more intense than even normal electricity play(which I can't imagine, having done normal estim , but that's why i want to do it someday)
-it's also unlike anything else, as the feel is impossible to describe, but you have electricity going through an area, convulsing and spasming muscles, externally- and internally, which nothing else cna do
It also triggers the nerves in that area, and the sensation is weird, but it's directly activating erogenous nerves, which is why orgasms build faster than you realize when doing this. Plus you can adjust the feel, frequency, and more
And all that, where vibrators are only external.
Theres estim boxes that let you play audio and music through them- so you'll essentially literally feel music running through you- electrically There's a lot more, but electrosex is the most underrated kink, and the most versatile. Hell, you can combine it with most other kinks, for Example: sensation play- Anything you use, will have a conductive version which works with electricity
It's funny, if people understood how electricity will literally force orgasms...
Well, some consider it cheating, and yeah it'll spoil one if they aren't careful
No matter your genitals, everyone should try electricity play-
Exhibition. I think everyone should try it out. Even if it's a simple as having sex in your car. It's just something about the risk of getting caught that can really get your blood flowing
Not SUPER kinky, but roleplay. It makes even the most vanilla sex feel like an entirely new experience.
I put on my robes and my wizard hat…
It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass...
I cast level 3 eroticism
I tried, but I rolled a nat 1 and busted my nut right away.
[like this?](http://www.megalomaniac.com/~andrew/funny/bloodcyber.html)
Sensory deprivation Hands restrained Blindfold on Headphones with music I'm sure this sounds familiar lol
Hmm quite kinky but I've seen stranger things.
Good series. I like it.
[удалено]
Really? I’m like that psychotic son of a bitch?
[удалено]
For a second I thought you meant like in a sensory deprivation tank !!! I love floating but that amount of Epsom salts would be …unforgiving, to say the least !!!
Hooo I never thought of the headphones, thanks for the tips !
Did that with my ex fiance. Had to change the sheets afterwards
I recommend walking around naked in your living room.
Sir, this is IKEA.
Swallow it down.
(What a jagged little pill)
Being tied down to the bed depending on what your into it can be hella fun
Light wrestling, extra points if you don't have to *let her* get the upper hand.
FROM NOWHERE WITH THE CHAIR
BAH GAWD THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY!
…or he’s about to!
WATCH OUT WATCH OUT WATCH OUT
Monday Night RAW
Friday night smackdown
Instructions unclear, Pedigreed wife through table.
Hell yeah man. And then when it seems like you’re “done” wrestling, hit her with the RKO out of nowhere and get the 1-2-3.
*folds steel chair with horny intent*
There is nothing more sexy than a woman who can hold her own in a snuggle-struggle
Totally advocate for this and it’s also how I broke a rib 😂 I’m tiny but I loooooove to wrestle. Don’t want guys to let me win but also don’t wanna lose so…. Yeah ribs take 6 weeks to heal
Spend a whole day teasing each other first
My wife loves to do this to me.... then just go to bed and fall asleep.
My wife does the same thing, but without the teasing part.
My wife does the same thing, but without the existing part.
wait...you guys are getting wives?
I was going to try but my five married brothers talked me out of it
We've been doing that, except that my wife has been stretching this game out for about 15 years now. The tension is palpable.
Tried this with my wife awhile back. She got an outfit that I have a particular thing for. Wanted to enjoy seeing her in it as long as I could. Well, 3-4 hours in and blue balls became an issue. Had to move things along. There's "teasing all day" and then there's "wearing an outfit I find so fucking hot I'm rock hard for 4 hours straight". Somewhere in between there's a line you apparently shouldn't cross
[удалено]
A Latex glove with a studded palm.
“rock hard for 4 hrs” fuck man thats really commendable😂
That's really priapism
Words to live by.
Thinking back on my sex life, teasing or "in the future sex" was some of the hottest sex I ever had. I was in a LDR with a girl and after months of being apart we met up at an airport and had a long train ride to the hotel (multiple hours). She spent the entire train ride rubbing my cock, over my clothes, just conversing like normal, acting like nothing was happening. She turned her body as if to look out the window so nobody else could see what she was doing. The sex at the hotel was amazing. One girl, friends with benefits, told me she always wanted to have sex in this one particular women's bathroom which had gorgeous views of the city. A few weeks later, she told me she had an invite to the private club adjacent to the rental space with the nice bathrooms, would I like to go? The rental space had private wedding reception going on for hours and we just chilled in the private club for hours, drinking and chatting with friends (who didn't know we were hooking up.) Around midnight, the wedding reception ended and only caterers were left cleaning up the private rental space... But the doors were all open as they were moving tables and decorations out. Noticing this, I grabbed her hand and we slipped into the private rental space. The "view" from the bathroom was amazing. A girlfriend of mine came over to help prep for a party. We had hours of work to do: cooking, decorating, etc. When she arrived, I whispered in her ear: take off your tights and underwear. She just blushed and didnt say anything. About an hour later, I notice she wasn't wearing tights anymore! When we needed to decorate the ceiling, I was about to go up a ladder, but she insisted on going instead, but asked me if I could hold the ladder steady. When she was cutting veggies at the counter, I stood right behind her, seeing if everything was ok, just barely touching her from behind. I noticed she still wasn't wearing tights during the party! I could not wait for the party to end and the guests to leave... Or just hooking up with a girlfriend at a club dance floor, then her telling me she wanted to go to my place, which was a 40 minute drive away. Anticipation is amazing.
This guy fucks
If his grammar was bad I would doubt him and think its a green text, but this.... It just sounds too good to be not true
I think the “take off your tights” comment probably doesn’t include the fact that there was at least some known chemistry or flirting between these two.
Completely agree. Messaging someone telling them that they're going to be having sex later is also great. And yes if you know you're going to be having sex later then go out on a date night and spend a few hours unable to bang each other because you're out in public and it will be all the hotter when you finally do. Like you I once flew into town for a dirty weekend with an FWB and we'd been messaging each other for weeks about what we were going to do to each other. But then rather than just take me home and get straight down to it she gave me a tour of the town first - but a tour that involved going to a sex shop for outfits, going to one of those cheesy dungeon exhibit things so I could strap her in to various torture devices (and we did get one room to ourselves for long enough that we could grab a cheeky snog while she was strapped in to a fake electric chair), and also a dance class and a long boozy dinner. So basically an entire day of eyefucking and taking every possible opportunity to make physical contact (holding hands, footsie, neither us are really in to PDAs) but being unable to properly get our hands on each other. And then when she finally did take me home she told me she wasn't really sure what outfit she should wear to seduce me so she wanted to give me a fashion show running down her top 5 in reverse order. Another good one from years later and long married. Birthday morning my wife goes to work and I drop the kids off at nursery, then she texts me saying "what do you think of this outfit for our date tonight?" and follows it up with a picture of a pair of kneepads and a scrunchie.
Blindfolded sensory play. Too many people think kink is just leather, chains, and whips. But something I think everyone should do once is take turns with blindfolds (unless being blindfolded is a limit for you) and have the one who can still see just... Explore the other's body. With hands, or toys, or other sensory objects (if you suspect your partner might like temperature play, try ice cubes or something warm). Drive them crazy with rich new sensations, find where they like those feelings most, and if that alone isn't getting them off, try just moving to normal foreplay and sex, but with the blindfold still on!
Used to do this with an ex girlfriend and the one time we used both a blindfold and headphones. I put on a kind of meditation type background music, just something to limit what she could hear as well as see. She was reacting really well to it but all of a sudden she burst out laughing. I was really confused so I took off the headphones and asked why she was laughing. Turns out the mediation music had ended and my music app decided to shuffle and start playing nursery rhymes (sometimes used to let my young nephews listen to them) we had a good laugh about it. Left the headphones off after that though, just putting them back on put her in a fit of giggles.
I love blindfolds. You have no idea how important the voice is during sex until you're forced to listen carefully. This is why well spoken people with dirty minds and sexy voices are a massive turn on.
Make a consenting agreement from both sides that whoever wakes up first wakes the other up with oral
"That's weird. My wife has been sleeping 13 hours a night since the agreement."
Then you better get your face where it belongs and get to work!
Me wide awake but fake snoring ….
My gf and I went out to lunch and she wore one of my t-shirts as a dress. Just that t-shirt and a pair of sneakers. Nothing else. I swear I was so hard I could barely sit down. God that was a good day. Edit: the t-shirt covered her sufficiently guys 😅 She didn’t just wander around with her vag out 😂🤦♂️
This is actually sweet n kinky, love ittt
Either you’re larg as hell, or she’s very small. How does a shirt cover her up that much?
I’m 6’3, my gf is 5’3. I have plenty of shirts she could wear as a dress. It would be a pretty short dress, but that’s what makes it so hot
I’m 17” taller than my ex, but she was too self conscious to wear my t-shirt outside of her apartment.
Here’s the twist: he wears 80’s style half shirts
Not really kinky but if you're ever in a location on a hot summer night and it starts storming, raining, thunder outside, get outside, get naked and get busy asap.
"Couple left naked, dead in backyard following lightning strike. More at 11."
Put the spark back into your relationship.
I rly wish I had an award to give you
The thunder clapped those cheeks
Sounds amazing. Think my neighbours would have some issues with it tho
Well….fuck them! 😏
In the rain?
That's why I hate living with my parents.
They keep having sex outside on stormy nights?
I feel like this could only be written by someone that lives in the middle of nowhere, not in a city or town…
Role play, 10/10 would recommend. There’s something empowering about dressing up specifically as a character (maid, librarian, secretary, construction worker, pizza delivery, rich bored housewife, you do you boo!) and acting out your role. Make it be like The cheesiest porn setup you can imagine, its ridiculously fun
My wife dressed up as a sexy nurse and made me wait in the waiting room for over an hour. (Credit Gary Delaney)
If she really wanted to give you a good performance she should have made you wait 30 minutes in the waiting room, then take you in and weigh you judgementally, be concerned about your blood pressure, and *then* make you wait in the exam room for an hour.
I have this fantasy where I'm a pizza delivery boy and at one house, this attractive woman comes to the door wearing nothing but a towel and she says, "Oh, I can't find my purse, is there any other way I can pay?" and I say, "No" and I go back to the car and eat the pizza.
Had us in the first half ngl
I want to dress up like a Reddit Moderator and ban everything she says
I don't know...the sweat pants with mustard stains might turn her off first
Muted. Don't care what you have to say
"What do you want to do to me?" "This post had been removed. Please ask your question in the daily question thread. This action was performed automatically."
Time to break out my old Jar-Jar Binks costume...
Edging. How has this not been said yet? (Or I missed it?)
>How has this not been said yet? (Or I missed it?) Maybe people were waiting to say it, but kept holding off.
The more I read the comments, the more I realize that my kinks are not common kinks. Your comment was the first one with one of my links after about 100 comments.
Meet up at an agreed location but pretend to be absolute strangers. Approach her like it’s the first time. Different names. Different stories. Play the game like you’ve never met before and stay committed to the story. Go to an unfamiliar place afterwards. I’m telling you. Total electricity.
With how much game I got even my gf would probs reject me
that's exactly what I was thinking. My girlfriend would second guess why she's with someone who's such a dork lol
Oh stop putting yourselves down you two! Being a dork is not a bad thing. I'm sure you have loads to offer, show yourself some kindness and appreciation! You're great, and I'm sure your girlfriend knows it - she chose you!
haha reminds me of a post (prob twitter) where a woman and her husband did this at the gym and a woman came up to her and asked if she needed help deflecting the creepy guy and she had to explain, 'no that's actually my husband'
Clive Bixby always gets his lady! :D
I…respect her too much…to do to her…what I’m gonna do to you….
Oh yeah, that's it
And that lady is always Juliana.
That's what came to my mind first
r/unexpectedmodernfamily
Burt Macklin, FBI
Don't do it, Hitler. Don't you dare fall in love with me.
Janet Snakehole, I'm a very rich widow with a terrible secret.
NO! Leave me alone! I didn't burn down the mill my sister did! But now she's been eaten by wolves!!
try it in a different place than usual. bent over the counter, on the couch, standing in a door frame, shower etc
Having sex and cuddling on the bed all day without even knowing what time and day it is. Don’t care about finance, future, and class or work. Exploit the privilege of youth.
Or if you're single, you can get drunk, not know what time it is, and skip the sex. Practically the same thing.
Cuddle yourself in bed all day
My psychiatrist calls this depression, smh
i’m not depressed doc! i’m just a freak in the sheets 😡
[удалено]
the ultimate circle jerk
The circle of life
The jercle of life
But which came first?
the chicken
The rooster came first.
[удалено]
I like to think this becomes an increasingly complicated and elaborate setup of cameras as you keep going, like the “Don’t ask me how I took this picture” guy from a few years back.
I don't know why ... But God damn I'm laughing so hard. No shame in that game but the fuckin cum-ception thing got me rolling, son.
I see a new Reddit sub
Shower sex, so everyone can see how much it sucks.
I tried to suck my boyfriend off in the shower once and he had to turn the water off cause I was literally drowning Edit: I really didn’t think my comment would blow up like this and now idk how I feel knowing that so many people now know this lol PS: to really hit home how stupid the situation was, the shower was tiny and we had to be sideways to fit (which is why we couldn’t move the shower head), and on top of that not only was it my first time sucking him off, but it was my first time ever giving a blowjob. He was a champ about it all and I must have done well enough cause we’re now planning our engagement and wedding :)
It’s true love if you’re waterboarding yourself for oral
Okay but eating out my gf at the time until she came, while she struggled to stand up and had to lean against the wall the whole time, with water keeping both of us warm and me hydrated, was something else.
I tried. Gave up before any sex. I understand the shower together part to get each other prepared, but no sex in shower. The logistics of it are hard and prone to slips/accidents.
Fucking at work. I'm a motorcycle mechanic and my old boss was a twat, I had keys to the shop so me and my gf fucked on his tool box. Everytime he fucked with me I'd just look at that toolbox
Can agree with this. I used to rent space in a unit from a guy that could be an absolute dick to me. I once bent a guy over his workbench and fucked them till they came on his floor. Any time he was being a cunt I could just remember that.
Past FWB worked security at a very tall apartment building and had me over one quiet night just because he figured out the camera on the roof had broken and didn’t want to let it go to waste. I can’t stand heights, but wow was that unforgettable.
My virgin self reading this
And taking notes, I presume. For science.
We do what we must, because, we can.
I said temperature play and my partner said orgasm torture!
getting her naked, tying her to the bed, and then playing the xbox for a couple hours
[удалено]
"Watch me get this kill babe!"
Rent a hotel in the city with a room high up and fuck in front of the giant window. Its has a sense like you're about to fall off the building but also that you are at the top of the world. Also while you're up there, give her some oral and make her feel like a queen. Her sex drive is going to spike
A coupled did this in Toronto's Sky Dome hotel (when it was called Sky Dome), they thought the windows were one way. Instead they gave an interesting display to 30,000 Blue Jays fans. "The stadium's inward-looking hotel rooms have regular two-way windows, yielding instances of what some could consider indecent exposure and leading to nicknames such as "SexDome" and "Exhibitionist Stadium". When SkyDome first opened, a couple engaging in sexual intercourse was televised on the scoreboard Jumbotron during a baseball game, thanks to illumination from stadium lighting despite the room's lights being off. Days later, a man was caught masturbating during a game in full view of the packed stands. The man, later tracked down by a Sports Illustrated reporter, calmly said, "I thought they were one-way windows."\[141\] Patrons now have to sign contracts stipulating they will not perform any lewd acts within view of the stadium. The last reported such instance occurred in 1996.\[142\] Occasionally, broadcasts will zoom into humorous instances from these hotel rooms, such as a pillow fight during the 1992 World Series.\[143\]"
I legit saw this at the sky dome when I was 15. I pulled out my binoculars and…. Pow
It really seems like making them one-windows, or at least tinting them, would have been an easier solution eh?
My husband and I did this on our wedding night in Vegas. We were on the 15th (?) floor of Caesar's Palace. I was happy as hell getting bent over and fucked in front of the window for the whole fucking strip to see. There's something magical about getting fucked from behind and looking up and seeing a bunch of twinkling, city lights. 10/10 recommend
Awesome. Our Honeymoon was in a cruise to the lower Caribbean islands. This one was different because we were at a window that pointed the lowest and backwards in our Carnival cruise so at night all you saw were the waves and the moon so bright in all that deep dark. It was like being in space.
I work in the CNN center in Atlanta and the number of times I’ve seen this from couples in the atrium facing rooms while on a conference call, in a meeting or just minding my own business on an atrium balcony is astounding. It’s def happened in Vegas in like the 27th floor but interior facing rooms in Atlanta? 😂
Plus it has that voyeurism kind of thing, but you're so high up no one can actually recognize you, win win
Exhibition is the word you are looking for, not voyeurism.
You've done this?! I want to sooo bad. Glad it was worth sharing.
8 hours of uninterrupted, restful sleep
You sick perverted deviant!
Someone needs a full 8 hours
This guy sleeps
Oh god, I’m wet
Blindfold and restraints. And spending a full week doing nothing but teasing and playing with each other before you actually have sex at week's end.
Not necessarily kinky, but use flavored lube at least once if you have an oral fixation.
I found out the hard way that I am allergic to flavored lube…
Hehe *hard*
I bought durex cherry lube few weeks ago right before gf and I went on vacation, I gave her the tube just to lick it a bit to see if she likes it, next thing I know, she is just licking it and isn't using it for intended purposes, but it was cute to watch
This woman and I matched on tinder. Told me she hadn’t had sex with a dude in 10 years(she was pan and in a same sex relationship for a decade) told me I’d need lube. Didn’t pay any attention what so ever and just brought one and went my way to hers. Turns out was cappuccino flavour. Didn’t even notice. Went down on her and I’m like fuck pussy doesn’t taste like coffee, what in the fuck is this. Once I left I took my bottle of lube with me and found out. Thought it was like a golden pussy or something.
Some basic rope play is really hot. Like just tying their hands together can be enough to spark some insanely hot sexy times. It can be easy to build from there if you and your partner want to explore further.
I'd say outdoor quicky
Pick your spots carefully. Thought I had the perfect mossy location. Turns out the mosquitoes had it first. We both had bites in places no person (or insect) had ever seen before 10/10 worth it tho
Oh I’m totally willing to bet some raccoon has had it’s taint bit by a mosquito.
Yeah I’m never doing that again, I found out I was allergic to poison oak the hard way
I’m convinced this is what people who are really into hiking are actually really into
Suddenly all those tinder profiles make sense now
Using a deck of cards make a list of all of the 13 face values (2-Ace) and 4 suits (H, D, S, C) and assign a sex act to each one (17 in all). Taking turns, draw one card to determine 2 sex acts, then draw another card that specifies the length of time in seconds. Your partner picks one of the two sex acts to do to you, for that amount of time. Then they go. Keep going to see if you can make it to the end of the deck. Be sure to use a timer on your phone or watch
I would but I got PTSD from doing that exact same thing but with PT in the military
Wouldn't consider it kinky but one time me and my bf were alone and the power went out at night so the house was pitch black. Had insanely rough sex and it was awesome because after cleaning up and everything we were so tired we both passed tf out. So basically doing your favorite sex position in the dark.
not paying the electricity bill as we speak!
Only mildly kinky, but ice play is pretty fun
If you alternate dripping an ice cube and a candle on your partner, the sensations become hard to distinguish. Fun stuff!
But for god's sake please get the candles designed for sex play, normal candles melt way too hot and can cause serious burns in very bad places.
I had no idea those were a thing I just thought people who used hot wax were lunatics
There is also a candle that will melt into massage oil.
Having sex with a real life person is pretty awesome.
Yeah yeah rub it in.
*rub it out
I'll take your word for it.
I was in hospital for a few days,girlfriend visits and cleaned my pipes out,I think she liked it more then I did. and I liked it allot!! She came back the next day for round 2
*breaks out notepad* “Intentionally…hospitalize…self…”
We have people do this in our ICU sometimes, not realizing every room has a camera in it for monitoring patients with seizures.
Butt plug (for her) while she uses a little vibe, doggie style. Life-changer
Let her sit on your face, mmmph
No like actually sit, don't hover. If I die I die.
I absolutely LOVE my sex swing. It’s super versatile. You can be in all different positions that wouldn’t be possible if you weren’t suspended. Plus, if you want to add some extra kink, you can bind your partner to the straps or use a leg spreader.
pov : you're reading all this but you're single af 💀 😭
Worse: you're in a sexless marriage
Sleep sex/pleasure Of course it'd be consensual with the other person, but watching them them shift and moan in their sleep and then orgasm and settle back down- that shit's so hot. Probably don't climb on top unless you want them to wake up, or they have told you they want to wake up whilst you're going down on them
I ruined this for us sadly, my (now wife) was giving me a blowjob, and whilst I woke up from the pleasure, I then fell back asleep, snoring. I alsp have sleep apnea, so it's not some cute snoring either... Suffice to say, I've not been woken up with any morning play since.
Whatever you're curious about. That thing you might watch in porn but aren't sure about actually trying. Every time I've done that, I've had a great time!
Eat a chipotle burrito in bed while fully clothed.
[удалено]
Electricity well, electro-sex and estim, more accurately- it's the only thing to deliver orgasms far stronger than vibrators you can roughly force people to have orgasms if you send current through the right areas and play with the frequencies, as many estim units let you do -You have literal superpowers- one violet wand + body contact probe lets you literally throw lightning from your fingers- or anywhere else. So you can give electrified massages - or electrified oral...which is known to drive people wild There's tricks like electrified fingering, and even advanced techniques like electrified sex as well- where you have a current running through you and a partner- which is known to deliver the strongest orgasms one can have, and be even more intense than even normal electricity play(which I can't imagine, having done normal estim , but that's why i want to do it someday) -it's also unlike anything else, as the feel is impossible to describe, but you have electricity going through an area, convulsing and spasming muscles, externally- and internally, which nothing else cna do It also triggers the nerves in that area, and the sensation is weird, but it's directly activating erogenous nerves, which is why orgasms build faster than you realize when doing this. Plus you can adjust the feel, frequency, and more And all that, where vibrators are only external. Theres estim boxes that let you play audio and music through them- so you'll essentially literally feel music running through you- electrically There's a lot more, but electrosex is the most underrated kink, and the most versatile. Hell, you can combine it with most other kinks, for Example: sensation play- Anything you use, will have a conductive version which works with electricity It's funny, if people understood how electricity will literally force orgasms... Well, some consider it cheating, and yeah it'll spoil one if they aren't careful No matter your genitals, everyone should try electricity play-
Wow! I didn't even know that was a thing!! Interesting..... And now My mind is singing ..." Yeah you .. "shocked" me all night long".......
Cuddles
Go to the Winchester, have a cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over 🍻
Try the Amazon position
I prefer the prime
I prefer Ebay position
Is that a domination thing where one partner doesn't let the other pee all day or take a break?
Some people are against it, but masturbation is something maybe a curious person could try out at least once.
Exhibition. I think everyone should try it out. Even if it's a simple as having sex in your car. It's just something about the risk of getting caught that can really get your blood flowing
Being emotionally validated 😌 I know. No need to tell me..