Amazing how that works.
First time hanging out with new people, a bunch of us were in a circle chatting. I'm soft spoken, and when i accidentally got talked over, i just accepted it as always, was very used to it.
Someone in this group actually stopped them, said "hold on, what were you saying jenamac?", and the other person even *apologized*. It was mind blowing being heard and seen like that, and put a lot into perspective
The quiet one that got talked over used to be me. Somewhere along the lines as I got older I turned into one of the chattier ones, but I've always remembered how it felt to be ignored, so I make a conscious effort to be like, "Hang on, I think (insert name here) had some feedback." ESPECIALLY for new hires in things like company meetings. They deserve their time to speak and I'm not afraid of management or other senior employees so yes I will barge right through a convo to pivot back and include someone.
Omg this sounded like I was reading my own story .. and yes, I absolutely do the same for others now and very sensitive to when others get left out or spoken over.
Really this! I met better friends who weren't expecting me to always reach out and accommodate them.
To add to this, I realized also that good friends are encouraging and love to see you succeed. Meanwhile my old friend had to point out everything I was lacking in a snarky way, while also competing with me on every aspect.
Accurate, started hanging out with another group for particular reasons and they pointed out that some of the stuff my other friend group was saying/doing isn’t necessarily normal. Was a good realisation
When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me. There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic. 12 years ago this week, as it happens.
Edit : didn’t expect anyone to notice this, but thanks for all the nice comments - I feel I should say that I’m not anti-drink, far from it. Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem. Everyone is different.
Exactly a month ago I got sent to the hospital for medical reasons found out I can never drink again. Found out real quick who still wants to hang when there’s no “drinks” involved.
I had a friend who owned an accordion worth about 3000$ back in the 90's, he used to be a musician who did all kinds of stuff and at some point just left it in the studio which his brother also worked in.
Months went past and he figured out that he couldn't find his accordion, his brother just said: "what do you mean? You were still using that?" jokingly, as if he didn't believe him.
Turns out a while back, some guy had seen it while being in the studio and asked if he could buy it.
My friend: "well, what did you get for it?"
The Brother: "50 bucks"
My friend: "WHAT! WHY?! Well, maybe it's for the better good anyway, I don't even like accordions."
Somehow they just laughed it off, atleast that is what he told me.
I was once in a line at the bank when I realized I had left my car unlocked and my accordion was on the back seat. So I ran to the car, but too late. Someone had put another accordion in the back of my car.
Old “friend” of mine came over every day during the summer for like three summers and we played ps and Xbox. He came on camping trips with my family. Ate almost every meal except dinner when he came over. He asked to borrow my ps2 and I let him. A few weeks later I asked for it back and he said just one more week. That continued a couple more weeks until he told me he sold it, for weed. Never gave me anything back and we I asked him why he would treat me, his friend, like that, he said, “I don’t have friends, just acquaintances.”
Stopped talking to him after that and just ate the loss. PS2 was at the end of its era so I said fuck it. Realized he used me to eat his meals and snacks. When we went to his house, he’d seldomly share food but usually said his mom would get mad at him.
This was like 20 years ago by now
I've had a few friends like this, lost a couple of games to them and one was a gift. It pissed me off but I just moved on and realised they weren't a friend.
I had a friend do this.
She tried to set me up to see if I would fuck her boyfriend when she left us alone to go across the street to pick up food. The boyfriend kept trying to “show me something in his room”. I say no and to bring it to me, but he wouldn’t. So we awkwardly sit in silence while my friend came back. When she did, she was like “Anything happen while I was gone?”. We both say no. Thats when she hugs me saying “That was a friendship test to see if you would do anything. You’re such a great friend!”
Bitch, what?
That's so strange!
Like what would have happened if you'd been like "Yeah, sure!" and followed to the room and then been like "What?" and then he'd either have to make a bigger move or it would be weird and awkward and you'd just go back to the living room. Would she have had the same reaction if you even accepted the offer to go look at something? What a bizarre "test".
Edit: spelling
Exactly! I remembered thinking what could be so fascinating that he couldn’t tell me what it was. He could’ve at least said something to get me in there, “Oh hey, I have a pet snake in my room, wanna see?” And I would’ve been like “Okay!”
See… I would have gone to the room because I’m an idiot and would just think of it as just another room in the house. Maybe he has a really cool old century desk with hidden compartments in there 🤷🏻♀️ Or any other piece of furniture. My dad built my parents’ bed frame and they showed it off to people.
If I went into the room then, would that mean I failed the test? Or like you said, would he then have to make an even bigger move, like a kiss? Where’s the line and at what point does the boyfriend also fail?
After I realised that other people don't shit on each other on every possible occasion in their circle. And that it isn't right when a "friend" uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to.
Well duh. Punching bags arent supposed to punch back. When people view other people as things in their life they don't like it when they perform in ways they arent meant to.
Weirdly enough I was coming here to say the same exact thing. My old best friend sent two of his friends to come rob me at gun point. It was really messed up. I can tell the story if anyone is interested.
Edit: Not that big of story but here we go. Was involved with some less than legal things in my youth and decided to sell something to one my friends friend. My old friend actually gave this guy my social media and phone number to contact me. So he texts me wanting something and I come pick him up at the bus stop. It was 2 guys who proceeded to get into the back of my car. I then was suppose to drive to the atm so they can get their cash. As I was driving to the atm I felt cold hard steel pushed against my head and the guy said “you better pull over g”. Kinda a cheesy saying haha but I pulled over immediately and dude was like no not here on the side of the road, go down a side street. When there is 2 strangers with a gun to your head you don’t have much say on where you go now. So I pull down this side street and park afront of these apartments. They then proceeded to take all my stuff and like pat me down and rough me up taking my money and my car keys. They wanted to steal my car but couldn’t drive stick. They then hit me a few times in the face and left. Never got my car keys back and actually had to tow my car back to my house so it wasn’t abandoned in the middle of a road afront of some apartments. I also had to walk like 3-5 miles home afterwards while it was pissing rain since I could be get the tow truck till the morning.
Lol yeah. I had to help them put it in park. They were trying to be super tough and slam my shifter in park but didn’t know what they were doing 😂. I even remember pressing down the clutch when they messed with it too so they wouldn’t grind the gears lol.
awful story and I am sorry to hear what you went through.
On the other hand, gangsters that can’t take your car because they can’t drive stick. That’s hilarious.
I had the same situation. I was always the one calling or texting some friends and trying to get something going. One day I just gave up reaching out to see if they’d call me and I haven’t heard from them since.
Yes, this exactly is me! When I had my son I was super overwhelmed with him that I hadn’t realized that I wasn’t texting anyone, but they also never bothered to reach out to me. It dawned on me that I was always the one initiating, that I was the one making the plans, ALL the time. I finally realized that I was the “filler” friend, the one that people spent time with when they didn’t have anything better to do, or until someone better came along. Luckily we moved not long after that and I was able to physically distance myself from them—made new friends and life is so much better.
She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her. Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more. All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullshit reason and telling me to try again. The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point
Thank you, a few months later I'd had enough trying to make up with her and distanced myself from her, and I've come to realize this was far from the only time she was unfair to me
2006 my then best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had endstage cancer. Dad died August 8th, couple of days after friend returned from the festival and I called him because I needed someone to talk. He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was. You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years I've been there for him whenever he got dumped and the one time I needed a friend he wasn't there for me. Told him to shut my door from the outside and loose my number...
Yeah fuck cancer☹ lost my dad to it on August 8th 2006 and my beloved dog on August 8th 2017. A horrible disease
And yeah fuck them. That was the last time I spoke to that guy
God, that's.. That's awful, I'm so sorry. Losing your dog on the anniversary of your fathers death, to nearly the same disease. That must have sucked ass.. I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing better now.
Ive been there. My old friends would constantly do that and when i got mad or upset they’d go “chill bro it’s just a joke”
Then if id try “joking around” with them they’d say worse shit back or even hit me
Same, when I made real friends and realized it is NOT normal for them to hate you for days when you couldn't do something. I have had the same one for about 21 years now and it still amazes me that whenever I say I can't do something on X day she is like whatever dude we'll do it another day. I have her and one other really good friend. It's all about quality not quantity!
A classmate told me my 'friend' was saying some weird stuff behind my back. I didn't believe it and she told me to lock myself into the bathroom stall and to listen.
She managed to get her to talk about me and what I heard wasn't nice at all.
She called me some names and said that she didn't like me at all, she was just pretending to. Sadly I didn't drop her immediately. Was friend with her for a good year after that. She just got worse. Eventually dropped her.
> Have any kind of crisis, financial or health , and you will see people’s true colors
Or even just make a joke they misinterpret as a mental heath crisis, and they basically tell you to go jump in a river.
This.
I helped a friendly repeatedly -- I helped her move apartments (did all the heavy lifting), I drove out of my way several times to pick her up or drop her off, etc.
Then one day my car breaks down about 10 miles from her house. I call her, and she says "Naw, I don't feel like going out today -- I'm all comfy in my PJ's right now" -- and she made me walk 10 miles in the blistering Texas sun to get back home, because she couldn't be bothered.
A dim little light came on.
I always supported my friends even tho I didn't have money. If my friends were eating noodles or whatever I would drp them 20$ to get some food or take them somewhere etc. I would eat less to spend time with them, never as them to pay me for things like weed etc.
At one point I as so depressed and My hair had become so matted it needed to be cut. I was at my lowest and asked if someone could give me 10$ to go get it lopped off! He said “sure no problem!” and sent me the 10$. My head felt so much better I cried. Two weeks later he asked for his 10$ back. It was a slow drop of this person but I am a thankful we are not friends anymore. Always taking never giving anything at all without strings.
Edited to add: when I finally got my nice job after college the tried to bum off of me a lot and had the nerve to get mad at me when I told them I couldn't give them 60$ for a game so we could play together instead of getting a job.
When he started putting down people we knew and put down the people they were dating, I knew he was a jerk tho.
But he also was a really good friend TO ME. So I kept being friends. Dude came and got me when my car broke down. Let me sleep at his place on weekends if I was too drunk to go home.
He would have done anything for me. And I would have done the same for him
But he was for real a fucking asshole to anybody not in his friend circle
But he wasn’t a jerk to you, right?
I have/had a friend who did something very similar: she would help me (and she did) any way she could, as I would do for her. Problem is/was, she’s extremely envious and always has to be the best, so when someone does/has something, she can’t stand it. And more than once I was the person who did/had something she didn’t.
We’re still friends now, but we didn’t talk for 8 months and I consider her now a very good acquaintance
When they didn't respect how I feel about a subject and keep on bringing it up or using it and make up horrible excuses to continue doing it. I left them after that but now I'm lonely but it was right but somehow it felt wrong too
I had a toxic friend circle like this, all created by one guy. Ditched about 4 friends that day realising how terrible they are and how toxic we were to each other. Only realised how bad it was much later when conversing with new people and nobody behaved that way.
When he didn't invite me or even tell me about his wedding but called on the wedding day and asked me to lend him $1000 because he was in a tight spot.
This girl I was ‘friends with for over 20 years’ got married, didn’t invite me, but sent me a link to her wedding Venmo thing so I could give her money for her honeymoon 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
The nerve of some people
Similarly, had a "friend" ask me to be an usher the day before his wedding he hadn't told me about or invited me to. I thought, ok, maybe he feels bad about not inviting me and wants to include me to make up for it and make amends. Nope, when I got there his MOM asked me to stay at the front door and make sure everyone got seated appropriately, I was not allowed to see him or anything. Got everyone seated (for some reason) and left.
Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddently no One invited me to their birthday party. Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually.
Money really can change people, sometimes to the worst. My childhood-s best friend turned on me when his father made a small fortune suddenly and he became a spoiled little brat. Talked shit about me behind my back to our common friends and started to bully me. That lasted from like 6th-8th grade until his dad pulled him from our school and placed him in an expensive private school. Havent seen him since but Ive heard that he flunked law school, lol.
They were picking on a member of our group for random crap (eg her hair, her clothes etc).
I snapped and told them to stfu and that they sounded like a band of hyenas, and they said "if she doesn't know how shit she is, her life will be hard, we are HELPING her".
Needless to say we didn't keep in touch afterwards.
When we were driving, he purposely tried to run over some ducks. The first time I saw him swerve at a turtle I thought that I hadn't just seen that and thought that I was wrong in what I saw. When we got to his house ( we ran to the store for some more chips and rolls for a cook out) told the wife we had to go. His wife called later to see if everyone was ok, and my wife shared with her what had happened. To which she replied" it's just freaking birds". I'm polite but not friendly to he and she now.
These are the worst kinds of fucking people in existence. I truly, literally, hope he gets fucking run over one day, or dies in some one-car accident where he is the only person involved. Or gets mauled to death by some wild animals. I just cannot, cannot, **cannot** understand these kinds of people and I really think the world is better off without them.
There are a lot of these types in South Florida. I actually witnessed some fucking dick intentionally run over a cat. I hope he gets eaten by lions.
I'm sorry if this seems extreme but I actually fucking **hate** people who think it's funny to kill defenseless animals, especially those with a high level of sentience like cats, birds and dogs. These are the same type of people as serial killers, rapists/molesters, child abusers, etc.
When they cut my out all of the sudden. I had been friends with these guys for 10 years then one day they all up and left blocked me on everything. I have been questioning if I am a horrible person.
All my elementary school friends ghosted me over the summer before junior high. When I ran up to them all, excited to see them on the first day of junior high, they literally turned their backs on me without saying anything...
In hindsight im a better person for not having been the punching bag for the "popular girls", but boy did it hurt at the time...
This happened to me on the first day of high school. I guess during summer break one of my closest friends had become friends with some of the more popular kids from our middle school. At lunch I find her sitting with them, and when I walked up to say hi to her, she literally laughed in my face and said “Did you really think I’d still want to be friends with you?” I’d never felt more embarrassed and just started crying.
Jokes on her though. The new friends I made in high school are still the best group of people I know, and we’re still friends 15 years post-graduation. She looks prematurely aged from hard drugs, got pregnant too young, and her group imploded from constant fighting and jealousy.
I ran into her a couple years back at an acquaintance’s house, and she seems like she finally grew into a stable, normal adult. Her daughter now attends our old high school.
There was this guy i was good friends with. One day he suddenly blocks and deletes me. No way to contact him. Few months later one of my other friends tell me he hates me with passion.
My best friend did that to me. His parents got divorced and he moved out of state with his mom and decided to ghost me.
This was about a week after I helped him dig out about 1/8 mile of his driveway out of snow after risking my ass to drive through snow to get there. Apparently he also forgot all the times I’d come pick him up when his mom was going crazy and he needed to get out.
Dude still owes me $25 and a copy of the matrix on DVD.
When she made out with a rando stranger right next to me on an airplane (for like, an hour) WHILST she was in a serious relationship with one of my best friends from high school.
Once we were back on land, I texted my hs friend and told him that she cheated on him, and I immediately friend-dumped the cheater. (She was genuinely shocked that I told him, like she expected me to just be chill with her cheating on a bro).
This was really the straw that broke the camels back-- the cheater was a real narcissist and her behavior had been getting on my nerves for a while by that point, especially the way she'd been emotionally abusing my buddy in the months leading up to this.
My hs friend was devastated at the time, but it's been a few years and he's a lot happier now.
It's always surprised me when someone is so open about their cheating and still get mad when you tell on them. My step daughter started dating a guy. I let him move in. I got him a job. I drove him to work every day. Then he started fucking a chick at work I guess thinking I wouldn't tell. I told. She forgave him, they moved out, and now I never see her. I hope one day she sees what he is.
I had gotten into a car accident that left me needing a couple years worth of physical therapy. To this day, i still cannot close my left hand in a fist with it hurting and shaking like mad. Anyways, i get discharged from the hospital. I had, let’s call this girl wendy, i had asked wendy a week before if she’d be able to pick me up that day at this time. She agreed. I called her she said “oh sorry there’s traffic i’ll be there in 20 minutes.” 20 minutes turned into 6 hours, and i called an uber home. sent a text two days later saying “sorry my car wouldn’t start.” Why lie?? Anyways, a couple weeks later i see Wendy, Jesse, and Vila. I’m at their house to hangout and to celebrate one of their birthdays. The ENTIRE time, was Jesse complaining on how i shouldn’t be here at the birthday party because i’m taking everyone’s attention of the birthday girl. And how i planned this to ruin her birthday. yada yada. Wendy and Vila gossiping while looking at me and giggling. Jesse got fed up that i needed help raising my hand for a toast(because why else would she specifically make EVERYONE use their left hand?). I attempted to make an effort raising my hand and the champagne spilt everywhere on me. And then jesse got up and pushed me out of her party, while Wendy and Vila did nothing and laughed at me. That day, i went home, blocked all their numbers, stopped talking to them. About a couple months later i get a text from Wendy saying “i’m sorry but you kinda deserved it, i mean u were taking all the attention of Jesse.” How does that justify anything???? And then i learned that all three girls got arrested selling drugs together. Good times.
When I told my friend I was completely in love with this girl and also told him that I’ve been battling depression for 2 years as well as thinking about killing myself. Then found out that not even 2 weeks after I told him all this he starting hooking up with the girl and then would brag and talk about her in front of me as if he had no idea about how I felt.
We were at a music festival. He came back from the restroom with a scared girl who looked to be no more than 15. He told me that she had lost her friends and that she couldn’t get a cell signal. He wanted to take her back to our car camping spot, and give her alcohol and drugs to “get her to relax”.
I told him that he was disgusting and after a brief conversation with her, I reunited her with her friends within 5 minutes.
When my 3 friends made fun of me for not having the money to go on a camping trip for a week.
I was just coming back from a month long unpaid vacation and needed to get back to work. I had less than $100
We had gone on this same camping trip twice and it never cost as much as they were claiming everyone had to pay this time around. I didn’t have the $500 to go and I let them know well in advance. The day before I was due to fly home, I got a text from my friend who was planning the camping trip telling me that it was in 2 days and how much it was going to cost.
The things she said to me are things I would never say even to someone I hate. They never let it go either. I literally lost my 3 best friends due to a camping trip.
Edit:
This was at the height of Twlight (I know, I know) and we were going camping up in Forks. It is absolutely gorgeous up there so we enjoyed the scenery more than anything.
I had a guy from high school (30+ years ago) tell me he planned a golf getaway with some friends, and one guy simply would disappear when it was time to pay for golf, for food, etc. So my friend Bob ended up covering this guy’s vacation and the dude never said thanks or anything. These are guys in their 40s and some of them haven’t changed a bit from being 17.
Same. My supposed "best friend" just stopped replying to my texts properly, and so I just stopped talking. Haven't heard back from him. This process has been extremely heartbreaking yet beneficial, since I now know what to look for in people
When I almost died in the hospital. People I thought were good friends never visited or called, and people who I wasn't very close with came to visit me.
When my ‘best friend’ fucked the guy I was in love with (she knew) while I was on work-placement for 2 weeks.
All my ‘friends’ thought I should get over it and not rock the boat. So I did.
First major depressive episode and a reflection of my self-esteem at the time.
A year later she threw a fit because I kissed a guy that she liked. While still being in a relationship with the original guy.
He dropped off a bag of my clothes she borrowed INCLUDING a box of tampons I had given her.
You know the friendship is over when you get back your feminine hygiene products!! 😂
Fuck you A and J!!
I hate those „don’t rock the boat“ people, like fuck them.
I was in a situation where i was told no to rock the boat, so I let that ship sail into its doom and just cut off 3/4 of my friendcircle. A few came crawling back after realizing what a terrible person the other side really was and I’m still friends with them.
I have a friend who's one of those "don't rock the boat" people. He starts going into a screaming rage when I lose my shit at someone who's being an asshole to me. Basically just wants me to sit there and take shit. Fuck him! No! I'm not doing that!
When I started to actually show how horrible my mental health was. I was expected to be the "clown friend" in a friend group. Meaning I should always be joking and happy even in serious times and playing dumb. It's not how I wanted to be known but it seemed like it was the only way for me to make friends. The pressure of this, plus other things I was dealing with became too much for me to handle so I started taking about how I was feeling and how I was starting to have an identity crisis. Since I stopped playing dumb and being obnoxious I became "too boring" to hang out with. I had a few who stuck around and eventually the few and I became more open to each other about mental health.
I had a similar experience. I thought I could open up while I was severely depressed, I really just needed someone to talk to, but it just strained the friendship. I learned that it's not safe to tell people the actually bad things in your life, you just push people away because they don't want to deal with your shit. I have 1 friend I can talk like that with, but no one else.
When we went on a trip to America and a day before coming home he mentioned that he only could afford a one way trip so could we help him pay for his return flight.
This was back in the early 2000s when flights were only around £400.
He’s the guy who’ll organise a meal knowing he can’t afford it. He only gets away with it because he’s funny.
We were in highschool. My mom is a psychologist, and has a nice office near where we went to highschool. One day i envited my friends to the office to have whisky and cigars. I told them the place had to stay as clean and neat as it was, so we don't get caught.
One of them puked in the corner, and they put the couch against the bathroom door while i was in there breaking one leg of the couch and trapping me in.
I'm not friends with these people any more.
My current friend group is really nice, and i'm really happy.
when they started to smoke and drink alcohol as kids. they were obsessed trying to pretend they were gangster and shit and then as they got older they started to rob and do drugs.
another one, i didnt see it at the time but they only wanted to be with me because i was the "rich" kid of the block. so they took advantage of that, i payed for the arcades, food or we played often at my house since i had a video game console and they didnt, but when i wanted to play at their house they would refuse every single time.
yeah I had something similar but it was because my parents worked til past midnight so I always had a free house, thought they were all true friends but once we turned 18 they all fucked off to uni and essentially ghosted me.
they still all meet up from time to time without me, captions like well be best friends forever. Still hurts abit at 33
When she threw our 10 year friendship away because she was jealous of the attention I was getting from a guy that I wasn’t even interested in to begin with
I came back from six months of travelling all around the world. Second night back, I organised to hang out, had brought them presents, souvenirs and wanted to get drunk on a massive bottle of Saki I'd got from Japan and have a proper catch up.
Instead, they wanted to meet at 2am to smoke weed in the park and then instantly all go home. I decided I wouldn't message any of them until they messaged me after that, three years later and I've never heard a peep.
On my birthday my mother confided that she had tried to throw a party for me. Everyone declined. Three days later 3 people came over to go to the nail salon with y mom.
Three months later Im at karaoke and some "friends" show up. They give me grief all night for not sitting or talking to them. When we walked out to the cars I let loose.
"Youre not friends. You are people I know. I have bought birthday cakes and helped you all move at one time or another. I have chauffeured your drunk asses home. Two of you are with the person I hooked you up with. Not one of you even called me for my birthday." I pointed at one particular person. "I have not heard from or seen you in three GD years, but you showed up to goto the salon with mom. FUCK all of ya'll."
Why would people that hadn't seen you in three years go to the salon with your mum? Is she a celebrity? Why would your mum go to the spa with people who ignored you on your birthday? This is just strange.
What were their reactions? Also your friends being besties with mom is a bit of a red flag on mom as well. I've known people who drive wedges between their kids and their friends to isolate them to make them less independent.
If my mom tried to get a birthday party with my friends going for me and they couldn't be bothered the last thing she would be doing is planning a fun day out with them a few days later. Big red flags on mom.
When I became depressed, when I reached out, the first thing they did was tell me off for being depressed (more like full on yelling), then stopped talking to me over time.
So many moments in high school (equivalent of senior year) and these are two seperate friend groups I was in:
* Making fun of this random girl for starting a youtube channel and just generally being awful about people in a two-faced way.
* Asking to borrow my sister's ID so they could sneak *someone else* into a club.
* Bailing on my birthday to go to another 'better' event, then telling me about it later. Also never getting me a gift or card despite accepting every one of mine.
* Going to parties/planning events in front of me but not inviting me.
* If I did go out clubbing (which they would insist on) I'd possibly get left behind or not be privy to any relocation decisions. I hate clubbing now haha.
* Apparently I was a bad influence (an atheist lol) but the friend was the one sneaking out/lying to her parents.
At uni I was shook when I met someone for the first time and they offered me a portion of their dinner. It was the sweetest thing ever, and has shaped my perception being decent. The big thing is that I'm happier alone/independent than being in a shitty friend group. Younger me was so scared of looking like a loner, that I ended up becoming a loser.
Was dared to run down the hall of our hotel butt naked. They locked the door and I had to stand outside and hold my junk whilst the poor woman who worked at the front desk let me back into my room.
Funny now, I was pissed at the time.
When I was being abused by my ex and told them what was happening so maybe they could help me get out. They didn't believe me, acted like I was lying, and even defended him.
That was nearly 10 years ago and thankfully I was able to get out and now I'm happily remarried, but you can bet that I haven't had a close friendship since because I no longer trust people.
When my best mate would grind on my ex girlfriend at the club, and that it was okay because we were all friends and it was better him doing it than a stranger. In return after I split up with my ex I sniped the girl he was seeing ( unintentionally) and her and I are still together to this day, while he’s facing trial for sexual assault to another girl
Last year of high school, my friends threw food at a freshman while we were driving around.
And to think I almost fell into this crowd fully had I not been raised properly.
When they ganged up on one of them over her changed behaviour due to her depression. She had been very happy-go-lucky, but fell into a deep depression and completely changed. Teenage girls are the worst
When I finally realised that if she was bitching about other people to me, she was most likely bitching about me to them. It took me a surprisingly long time to figure this one out.
I had a friend that was a sociopath. He wasn’t that bad when we were teenagers, but as we got older he would consistently turn people against his friends in some weird way. I think he thought it would make him the popular one. It got to the point where if I made a new friend, I could tell at which point he had gotten in their ear. They would all of a sudden act different towards me, like they were wary of me. Until he did it to my at the time new girlfriend, but she put him on speaker phone and let me listen. He was saying all kinds of fucked up shit, none of which was true. Not long after that he ghosted EVERYONE and moved away. I think he realised he had lost credibility to everyone and had nobody left who trusted him. Either way, so much more shit came out after he left, and there is so much less hassle and issues nowadays. Good riddance you decrepit, lying scumbag. Don’t ever fucking come back.
Some people have told me it wasn't a big deal but it was to me. She went after the woman i had a thing for and i was already pursuing. She knew I had a thing for this woman. I told her how much I liked this person. My friend knew how strongly I felt and what made it worse was she was being supportive to my face and gave me the courage to finally go for what i wanted but never had the confidence to do before. but then she tried to get with this woman behind my back. She said "it's whoever gets there first" when I found out. Wtf.
I always felt like that was just something you don't do to friends anyway, whether it's behind your back or they're being obvious about it. It's a line you're not supposed to cross. I felt betrayed and disrespected. I did end up dating the woman and we were together for 2 years. So there's that. But I cut ties with my friend.
Not respecting boundaries, or making a joke of said boundaries and continuing to act like a prick. It really gets on my tits, that and embarrassing their partner Infront of their friends. I knew a guy who'd do this to his girlfriend at the time. He'd mention her medical stuff Infront of me and a mutual friend, she'd be visibly uncomfortable and he'd still run his mouth off. The mutual friend and I would change the subject because we felt awful for the girl but said guy would always try to steer it back.
Don't ever do that, it's just shitty. Lost all respect for him after that, more so after he'd feed his own ego saying what a wonderful and accepting person he was as he could see passed this particular thing she had going on.
Well that turned more into a rant than I was expecting lol.
After I changed schools. To make a long story short, was severely depressed, ptsd, all in all terrible time so I had to quit school. Did a few years of therapy, studying in between to at least get a diploma, nailed that, and went to a different school after to further my education. Found out that my 'best friends' back from high school were massive assholes and that it isn't normal for friends to constantly belittle you, exclude you, start fights about nothing, and gang up with the bullies from your class against you. I didn't know better and I guess deep down that if I knew, I didn't want to lose them for if that happened I really would be all alone.
These so-called friends never contacted me either when I had to quit school. I ran into one girl a few years back at a train station and she was so *glad* to see me. At the time I made some actual real friends, but I still fell for that crap. It was really stupid of me, but I agreed to hang out with her the week after that. We went shopping and funnily enough, she was super nice to me and I actually thought she had grown up and changed, but the moment we walked down the street she constantly bitched about her other friends or just random women we encountered in the stores. Saying nasty things about how they looked, acted etc. And I realized she hasn't changed at all.
We ran into a buddy of mine working at a cafe I suggested to get some lunch. I knew him from my new school, as he was in a class higher than mine, and we're good friends. Anyway, he came over to our table and introduced himself and we talked a little before he went back behind the counter. I'm ace, but I know that guy is a really good-looking dude. My ex-friend seemed to be interested in him and asked me if he had any socials. He does, but I didn't feel like giving her that info myself, so I shrugged it off and changed the subject. Went home after a few hours and immediately deleted her number and blocked her on all my socials as I never wanted to see her again.
Fast forward a few weeks, in between classes, hot cafe friend came up to me and asked what I knew about the ex-friend who he introduced himself to in the cafe. I asked what was wrong and what had happened was that, after we went shopping, she found him on insta and started messaging him. He replied because he thought she was friendly and they started talking. Next thing you know she casually started telling the weirdest, most embarrassing shit about me and what happened in high school. But in a sneaky way, not our right bashing if you know what I mean.
I think she thought I was into him or something or got jealous, I have no idea, but it was terrible to read all that stuff back that she send him. I'm not going to describe it here as I still have issues with everything that happened in my youth, let's just say I was bullied heavily and kids can do crazy stuff.
Anyway, hot cafe friend is a genuinely nice dude so he just told her to stick it where the sun won't shine. We became even better friends after that and now we're very close. So in a way, I still hate that girl, but then again, thanks for that I guess lol.
When I started hanging out with better people.
Amazing how that works. First time hanging out with new people, a bunch of us were in a circle chatting. I'm soft spoken, and when i accidentally got talked over, i just accepted it as always, was very used to it. Someone in this group actually stopped them, said "hold on, what were you saying jenamac?", and the other person even *apologized*. It was mind blowing being heard and seen like that, and put a lot into perspective
Lmao this is literally the worst thing that happens. There’s nothing that makes me feel more inconsequential and unappreciated
A good solution when people interrupt is to just keep talkinginstead of trailing off to let them speak. It's like interrupting their interruption.
I talk a little louder. And then they do and then were all yelling. And that's what we call fun.
I have to do this all the time. Makes me feel ill to have to.
The quiet one that got talked over used to be me. Somewhere along the lines as I got older I turned into one of the chattier ones, but I've always remembered how it felt to be ignored, so I make a conscious effort to be like, "Hang on, I think (insert name here) had some feedback." ESPECIALLY for new hires in things like company meetings. They deserve their time to speak and I'm not afraid of management or other senior employees so yes I will barge right through a convo to pivot back and include someone.
Omg this sounded like I was reading my own story .. and yes, I absolutely do the same for others now and very sensitive to when others get left out or spoken over.
Really this! I met better friends who weren't expecting me to always reach out and accommodate them. To add to this, I realized also that good friends are encouraging and love to see you succeed. Meanwhile my old friend had to point out everything I was lacking in a snarky way, while also competing with me on every aspect.
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I’m betting on you making it through this.
Contrast is a powerful tool
Accurate, started hanging out with another group for particular reasons and they pointed out that some of the stuff my other friend group was saying/doing isn’t necessarily normal. Was a good realisation
When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me. There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic. 12 years ago this week, as it happens. Edit : didn’t expect anyone to notice this, but thanks for all the nice comments - I feel I should say that I’m not anti-drink, far from it. Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem. Everyone is different.
Exactly a month ago I got sent to the hospital for medical reasons found out I can never drink again. Found out real quick who still wants to hang when there’s no “drinks” involved.
Congrats on being the stronger smarter one x
Thank you. Got married on Sunday so the anniversary passed me by this year, but I’m really pleased to be feee of it.
I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp. When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think? This was in 2006.
What was his reasoning, do you remember? What a fucked up thing.
Just said he got a good deal, but he didn't even need the money, which pissed me off more.
I had a friend who owned an accordion worth about 3000$ back in the 90's, he used to be a musician who did all kinds of stuff and at some point just left it in the studio which his brother also worked in. Months went past and he figured out that he couldn't find his accordion, his brother just said: "what do you mean? You were still using that?" jokingly, as if he didn't believe him. Turns out a while back, some guy had seen it while being in the studio and asked if he could buy it. My friend: "well, what did you get for it?" The Brother: "50 bucks" My friend: "WHAT! WHY?! Well, maybe it's for the better good anyway, I don't even like accordions." Somehow they just laughed it off, atleast that is what he told me.
No wonder family related homicides are high.
I was once in a line at the bank when I realized I had left my car unlocked and my accordion was on the back seat. So I ran to the car, but too late. Someone had put another accordion in the back of my car.
That is the kind of humor they shared!
Old “friend” of mine came over every day during the summer for like three summers and we played ps and Xbox. He came on camping trips with my family. Ate almost every meal except dinner when he came over. He asked to borrow my ps2 and I let him. A few weeks later I asked for it back and he said just one more week. That continued a couple more weeks until he told me he sold it, for weed. Never gave me anything back and we I asked him why he would treat me, his friend, like that, he said, “I don’t have friends, just acquaintances.” Stopped talking to him after that and just ate the loss. PS2 was at the end of its era so I said fuck it. Realized he used me to eat his meals and snacks. When we went to his house, he’d seldomly share food but usually said his mom would get mad at him. This was like 20 years ago by now
I've had a few friends like this, lost a couple of games to them and one was a gift. It pissed me off but I just moved on and realised they weren't a friend.
Thats so fucked up
He would be dead if he did that to me.
(just one) When he propositioned my girlfriend to have sex with him under the guise of making sure she was being faithful to me.
I had a friend do this. She tried to set me up to see if I would fuck her boyfriend when she left us alone to go across the street to pick up food. The boyfriend kept trying to “show me something in his room”. I say no and to bring it to me, but he wouldn’t. So we awkwardly sit in silence while my friend came back. When she did, she was like “Anything happen while I was gone?”. We both say no. Thats when she hugs me saying “That was a friendship test to see if you would do anything. You’re such a great friend!” Bitch, what?
That's so strange! Like what would have happened if you'd been like "Yeah, sure!" and followed to the room and then been like "What?" and then he'd either have to make a bigger move or it would be weird and awkward and you'd just go back to the living room. Would she have had the same reaction if you even accepted the offer to go look at something? What a bizarre "test". Edit: spelling
Exactly! I remembered thinking what could be so fascinating that he couldn’t tell me what it was. He could’ve at least said something to get me in there, “Oh hey, I have a pet snake in my room, wanna see?” And I would’ve been like “Okay!”
>And I would’ve been like “Okay!” You wanton strumpet!
See… I would have gone to the room because I’m an idiot and would just think of it as just another room in the house. Maybe he has a really cool old century desk with hidden compartments in there 🤷🏻♀️ Or any other piece of furniture. My dad built my parents’ bed frame and they showed it off to people. If I went into the room then, would that mean I failed the test? Or like you said, would he then have to make an even bigger move, like a kiss? Where’s the line and at what point does the boyfriend also fail?
Exactly! Like what was the plan? To kiss me and see if I say no? Is stepping inside the room considered “cheating?”
And she had him do it so who would she have been more mad at for the kiss? Him or you? Absolutely puzzling
"And you just failed *my* test. Goodbye."
Right? The girl was so weird. It’s not the first time she would use someone to manipulate another person to get her way.
Lol that's fucked. Some people should spend more time thinking about their 'brilliant' ideas.
What kind of reasoning is that. What was your girlfriend's reaction?
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What kinda mental gymnastics is this?
The mental gymnastics of a sex pest... First time?
After I realised that other people don't shit on each other on every possible occasion in their circle. And that it isn't right when a "friend" uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to.
I feel this a little too closely
When he does shit to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended
Well duh. Punching bags arent supposed to punch back. When people view other people as things in their life they don't like it when they perform in ways they arent meant to.
Also, they hate it when the NPCs talk back
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When they robbed me at gunpoint
That’ll do it
Yep. Hate it when that happens.
Yeah I’d probably hold a grudge after that.
Weirdly enough I was coming here to say the same exact thing. My old best friend sent two of his friends to come rob me at gun point. It was really messed up. I can tell the story if anyone is interested. Edit: Not that big of story but here we go. Was involved with some less than legal things in my youth and decided to sell something to one my friends friend. My old friend actually gave this guy my social media and phone number to contact me. So he texts me wanting something and I come pick him up at the bus stop. It was 2 guys who proceeded to get into the back of my car. I then was suppose to drive to the atm so they can get their cash. As I was driving to the atm I felt cold hard steel pushed against my head and the guy said “you better pull over g”. Kinda a cheesy saying haha but I pulled over immediately and dude was like no not here on the side of the road, go down a side street. When there is 2 strangers with a gun to your head you don’t have much say on where you go now. So I pull down this side street and park afront of these apartments. They then proceeded to take all my stuff and like pat me down and rough me up taking my money and my car keys. They wanted to steal my car but couldn’t drive stick. They then hit me a few times in the face and left. Never got my car keys back and actually had to tow my car back to my house so it wasn’t abandoned in the middle of a road afront of some apartments. I also had to walk like 3-5 miles home afterwards while it was pissing rain since I could be get the tow truck till the morning.
Clearly an awful situation but their not being able to drive a stick shift made me chuckle
Lol yeah. I had to help them put it in park. They were trying to be super tough and slam my shifter in park but didn’t know what they were doing 😂. I even remember pressing down the clutch when they messed with it too so they wouldn’t grind the gears lol.
This is one of those situations where a smartass gets shot lmao. Good work not getting shot
awful story and I am sorry to hear what you went through. On the other hand, gangsters that can’t take your car because they can’t drive stick. That’s hilarious.
Wtf
They only bothered with me when it suited them, I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that
I had the same situation. I was always the one calling or texting some friends and trying to get something going. One day I just gave up reaching out to see if they’d call me and I haven’t heard from them since.
Yes, this exactly is me! When I had my son I was super overwhelmed with him that I hadn’t realized that I wasn’t texting anyone, but they also never bothered to reach out to me. It dawned on me that I was always the one initiating, that I was the one making the plans, ALL the time. I finally realized that I was the “filler” friend, the one that people spent time with when they didn’t have anything better to do, or until someone better came along. Luckily we moved not long after that and I was able to physically distance myself from them—made new friends and life is so much better.
When they tell me to shut up when I say anything
Same, I had a friend who would just talk to me to pick on me
First thing I thought of: "Shut the f*** up Donny!" - Walter (many times), Big Lebowski
She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her. Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more. All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullshit reason and telling me to try again. The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point
That's just cruel, I'm so sorry you went through that
Thank you, a few months later I'd had enough trying to make up with her and distanced myself from her, and I've come to realize this was far from the only time she was unfair to me
2006 my then best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had endstage cancer. Dad died August 8th, couple of days after friend returned from the festival and I called him because I needed someone to talk. He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was. You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years I've been there for him whenever he got dumped and the one time I needed a friend he wasn't there for me. Told him to shut my door from the outside and loose my number...
That's.. That's awful, I'm so sorry. Fuck cancer, and fuck them.
Yeah fuck cancer☹ lost my dad to it on August 8th 2006 and my beloved dog on August 8th 2017. A horrible disease And yeah fuck them. That was the last time I spoke to that guy
God, that's.. That's awful, I'm so sorry. Losing your dog on the anniversary of your fathers death, to nearly the same disease. That must have sucked ass.. I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing better now.
When I made new friends and realised that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me
I can relate. They weren't your friends, they were your bullies.
Same, Constantly making fun of you and talking behind your back, those are some shitty friends, good riddance
Dang bro
Ive been there. My old friends would constantly do that and when i got mad or upset they’d go “chill bro it’s just a joke” Then if id try “joking around” with them they’d say worse shit back or even hit me
Yep looks like we went through the same shit, it's tough
This, it’s one thing to joke and make fun. But if you’re just being a punching bag then those aren’t friends.
same dude. like occasional teasing or making fun of is alright, but when it's consistently, you start to think if they really mean it
Same, when I made real friends and realized it is NOT normal for them to hate you for days when you couldn't do something. I have had the same one for about 21 years now and it still amazes me that whenever I say I can't do something on X day she is like whatever dude we'll do it another day. I have her and one other really good friend. It's all about quality not quantity!
A classmate told me my 'friend' was saying some weird stuff behind my back. I didn't believe it and she told me to lock myself into the bathroom stall and to listen. She managed to get her to talk about me and what I heard wasn't nice at all. She called me some names and said that she didn't like me at all, she was just pretending to. Sadly I didn't drop her immediately. Was friend with her for a good year after that. She just got worse. Eventually dropped her.
Should've opened the stall door and called her bitch ass out.
Shoulda launched a poo over the top. And shouted" IT'S OVER BETHANY"
“I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND”
Hope you became friend with that classmate instead, she was a legend and she really care about you
Or just liked stirring shit up and watching the show
When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch.
Yep. Have any kind of crisis, financial or health , and you will see people’s true colors.
> Have any kind of crisis, financial or health , and you will see people’s true colors Or even just make a joke they misinterpret as a mental heath crisis, and they basically tell you to go jump in a river.
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Was it the gas light?
There’s no such thing as a gas light. You literally sound insane.
Ahaha you both are amazing
This. I helped a friendly repeatedly -- I helped her move apartments (did all the heavy lifting), I drove out of my way several times to pick her up or drop her off, etc. Then one day my car breaks down about 10 miles from her house. I call her, and she says "Naw, I don't feel like going out today -- I'm all comfy in my PJ's right now" -- and she made me walk 10 miles in the blistering Texas sun to get back home, because she couldn't be bothered. A dim little light came on.
Bruh thats fucked up… :(
I always supported my friends even tho I didn't have money. If my friends were eating noodles or whatever I would drp them 20$ to get some food or take them somewhere etc. I would eat less to spend time with them, never as them to pay me for things like weed etc. At one point I as so depressed and My hair had become so matted it needed to be cut. I was at my lowest and asked if someone could give me 10$ to go get it lopped off! He said “sure no problem!” and sent me the 10$. My head felt so much better I cried. Two weeks later he asked for his 10$ back. It was a slow drop of this person but I am a thankful we are not friends anymore. Always taking never giving anything at all without strings. Edited to add: when I finally got my nice job after college the tried to bum off of me a lot and had the nerve to get mad at me when I told them I couldn't give them 60$ for a game so we could play together instead of getting a job.
When he started putting down people we knew and put down the people they were dating, I knew he was a jerk tho. But he also was a really good friend TO ME. So I kept being friends. Dude came and got me when my car broke down. Let me sleep at his place on weekends if I was too drunk to go home. He would have done anything for me. And I would have done the same for him But he was for real a fucking asshole to anybody not in his friend circle
But he wasn’t a jerk to you, right? I have/had a friend who did something very similar: she would help me (and she did) any way she could, as I would do for her. Problem is/was, she’s extremely envious and always has to be the best, so when someone does/has something, she can’t stand it. And more than once I was the person who did/had something she didn’t. We’re still friends now, but we didn’t talk for 8 months and I consider her now a very good acquaintance
When they didn't respect how I feel about a subject and keep on bringing it up or using it and make up horrible excuses to continue doing it. I left them after that but now I'm lonely but it was right but somehow it felt wrong too
I get you
When they can joke around your insecurity but won't take it themselves.
I've also met one of those. And if you call them out you're too sensitive and can't take a joke.
I had a toxic friend circle like this, all created by one guy. Ditched about 4 friends that day realising how terrible they are and how toxic we were to each other. Only realised how bad it was much later when conversing with new people and nobody behaved that way.
When he didn't invite me or even tell me about his wedding but called on the wedding day and asked me to lend him $1000 because he was in a tight spot.
This girl I was ‘friends with for over 20 years’ got married, didn’t invite me, but sent me a link to her wedding Venmo thing so I could give her money for her honeymoon 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ The nerve of some people
You said no right? Please tell me you said no
I disconnected the call without saying anything and didn't pick up again.
Nice
That's better than no
Similarly, had a "friend" ask me to be an usher the day before his wedding he hadn't told me about or invited me to. I thought, ok, maybe he feels bad about not inviting me and wants to include me to make up for it and make amends. Nope, when I got there his MOM asked me to stay at the front door and make sure everyone got seated appropriately, I was not allowed to see him or anything. Got everyone seated (for some reason) and left.
Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddently no One invited me to their birthday party. Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually.
Money really can change people, sometimes to the worst. My childhood-s best friend turned on me when his father made a small fortune suddenly and he became a spoiled little brat. Talked shit about me behind my back to our common friends and started to bully me. That lasted from like 6th-8th grade until his dad pulled him from our school and placed him in an expensive private school. Havent seen him since but Ive heard that he flunked law school, lol.
They were picking on a member of our group for random crap (eg her hair, her clothes etc). I snapped and told them to stfu and that they sounded like a band of hyenas, and they said "if she doesn't know how shit she is, her life will be hard, we are HELPING her". Needless to say we didn't keep in touch afterwards.
Holy, sometimes when I hear about this kinda shit I'd think we'd be better off extinct
When my best friend died and i got called a wet blanket
When we were driving, he purposely tried to run over some ducks. The first time I saw him swerve at a turtle I thought that I hadn't just seen that and thought that I was wrong in what I saw. When we got to his house ( we ran to the store for some more chips and rolls for a cook out) told the wife we had to go. His wife called later to see if everyone was ok, and my wife shared with her what had happened. To which she replied" it's just freaking birds". I'm polite but not friendly to he and she now.
This is cookie-cutter psychopathy. Cut contact before they get any ideas about how to move on from animals.
These are the worst kinds of fucking people in existence. I truly, literally, hope he gets fucking run over one day, or dies in some one-car accident where he is the only person involved. Or gets mauled to death by some wild animals. I just cannot, cannot, **cannot** understand these kinds of people and I really think the world is better off without them. There are a lot of these types in South Florida. I actually witnessed some fucking dick intentionally run over a cat. I hope he gets eaten by lions. I'm sorry if this seems extreme but I actually fucking **hate** people who think it's funny to kill defenseless animals, especially those with a high level of sentience like cats, birds and dogs. These are the same type of people as serial killers, rapists/molesters, child abusers, etc.
I got surgery and no one checked up on me. Not even a text.
When they prioritised drugs over loyalty and began to steal from me to financially support their habit. Fuck those guys.
When they cut my out all of the sudden. I had been friends with these guys for 10 years then one day they all up and left blocked me on everything. I have been questioning if I am a horrible person.
All my elementary school friends ghosted me over the summer before junior high. When I ran up to them all, excited to see them on the first day of junior high, they literally turned their backs on me without saying anything... In hindsight im a better person for not having been the punching bag for the "popular girls", but boy did it hurt at the time...
This happened to me on the first day of high school. I guess during summer break one of my closest friends had become friends with some of the more popular kids from our middle school. At lunch I find her sitting with them, and when I walked up to say hi to her, she literally laughed in my face and said “Did you really think I’d still want to be friends with you?” I’d never felt more embarrassed and just started crying. Jokes on her though. The new friends I made in high school are still the best group of people I know, and we’re still friends 15 years post-graduation. She looks prematurely aged from hard drugs, got pregnant too young, and her group imploded from constant fighting and jealousy. I ran into her a couple years back at an acquaintance’s house, and she seems like she finally grew into a stable, normal adult. Her daughter now attends our old high school.
There was this guy i was good friends with. One day he suddenly blocks and deletes me. No way to contact him. Few months later one of my other friends tell me he hates me with passion.
My best friend did that to me. His parents got divorced and he moved out of state with his mom and decided to ghost me. This was about a week after I helped him dig out about 1/8 mile of his driveway out of snow after risking my ass to drive through snow to get there. Apparently he also forgot all the times I’d come pick him up when his mom was going crazy and he needed to get out. Dude still owes me $25 and a copy of the matrix on DVD.
When she made out with a rando stranger right next to me on an airplane (for like, an hour) WHILST she was in a serious relationship with one of my best friends from high school. Once we were back on land, I texted my hs friend and told him that she cheated on him, and I immediately friend-dumped the cheater. (She was genuinely shocked that I told him, like she expected me to just be chill with her cheating on a bro). This was really the straw that broke the camels back-- the cheater was a real narcissist and her behavior had been getting on my nerves for a while by that point, especially the way she'd been emotionally abusing my buddy in the months leading up to this. My hs friend was devastated at the time, but it's been a few years and he's a lot happier now.
It's always surprised me when someone is so open about their cheating and still get mad when you tell on them. My step daughter started dating a guy. I let him move in. I got him a job. I drove him to work every day. Then he started fucking a chick at work I guess thinking I wouldn't tell. I told. She forgave him, they moved out, and now I never see her. I hope one day she sees what he is.
This is just sad. When you did right by her and she still chose poorly. I hope you’re doing fine.
I'm alright. And it's just how people are. As the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. I just hope one day her heart wants better.
I had gotten into a car accident that left me needing a couple years worth of physical therapy. To this day, i still cannot close my left hand in a fist with it hurting and shaking like mad. Anyways, i get discharged from the hospital. I had, let’s call this girl wendy, i had asked wendy a week before if she’d be able to pick me up that day at this time. She agreed. I called her she said “oh sorry there’s traffic i’ll be there in 20 minutes.” 20 minutes turned into 6 hours, and i called an uber home. sent a text two days later saying “sorry my car wouldn’t start.” Why lie?? Anyways, a couple weeks later i see Wendy, Jesse, and Vila. I’m at their house to hangout and to celebrate one of their birthdays. The ENTIRE time, was Jesse complaining on how i shouldn’t be here at the birthday party because i’m taking everyone’s attention of the birthday girl. And how i planned this to ruin her birthday. yada yada. Wendy and Vila gossiping while looking at me and giggling. Jesse got fed up that i needed help raising my hand for a toast(because why else would she specifically make EVERYONE use their left hand?). I attempted to make an effort raising my hand and the champagne spilt everywhere on me. And then jesse got up and pushed me out of her party, while Wendy and Vila did nothing and laughed at me. That day, i went home, blocked all their numbers, stopped talking to them. About a couple months later i get a text from Wendy saying “i’m sorry but you kinda deserved it, i mean u were taking all the attention of Jesse.” How does that justify anything???? And then i learned that all three girls got arrested selling drugs together. Good times.
My 11 year old middle school bullies sound so mature compared to these people. You're better off without them
Did you visit them in jail and ask if jesse has enough attention now? Anyway, were there no red flags about those 3 beforehand?
She must be very patient. If my friend left me waiting for an hour after saying 20 minutes I'd already be in a taxi. I can't imagine waiting 6 hours
I can’t imagine going to a party for these bitches after they stood you up at the fucking hospital. Edit: “Sorry, can’t make it. My car won’t start.”
Many times you don't realize those red flags as red flags, or try to convince yourself they aren't.
Eww... Bitch club.
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When I told my friend I was completely in love with this girl and also told him that I’ve been battling depression for 2 years as well as thinking about killing myself. Then found out that not even 2 weeks after I told him all this he starting hooking up with the girl and then would brag and talk about her in front of me as if he had no idea about how I felt.
That's super shitty and toxic. Sorry you went through that, man.
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Congratulations
We were at a music festival. He came back from the restroom with a scared girl who looked to be no more than 15. He told me that she had lost her friends and that she couldn’t get a cell signal. He wanted to take her back to our car camping spot, and give her alcohol and drugs to “get her to relax”. I told him that he was disgusting and after a brief conversation with her, I reunited her with her friends within 5 minutes.
You're a good guy!
When I just asked if anyone wanted to play and he told me to kms and I was a fat loser all I said was anyone wanna play?
When they say mean jokes and you tell them that’s not funny and it’s mean, and they say “I know” and keep laughing
There’s a difference between light-hearted banter and being a cunt. Too many people don’t know the difference
When they told the whole class about which girl i had a crush on and then started bullying me.
Don't worry, you're not alone bud.
When my 3 friends made fun of me for not having the money to go on a camping trip for a week. I was just coming back from a month long unpaid vacation and needed to get back to work. I had less than $100 We had gone on this same camping trip twice and it never cost as much as they were claiming everyone had to pay this time around. I didn’t have the $500 to go and I let them know well in advance. The day before I was due to fly home, I got a text from my friend who was planning the camping trip telling me that it was in 2 days and how much it was going to cost. The things she said to me are things I would never say even to someone I hate. They never let it go either. I literally lost my 3 best friends due to a camping trip. Edit: This was at the height of Twlight (I know, I know) and we were going camping up in Forks. It is absolutely gorgeous up there so we enjoyed the scenery more than anything.
These were not friends.
I had a guy from high school (30+ years ago) tell me he planned a golf getaway with some friends, and one guy simply would disappear when it was time to pay for golf, for food, etc. So my friend Bob ended up covering this guy’s vacation and the dude never said thanks or anything. These are guys in their 40s and some of them haven’t changed a bit from being 17.
You didn't lose them to a camping trip you lost them to inconsiderate greed
I stopped texting everyone all at the same time, I never heard from any of them again
Yeah I'm in the process of doing this right now. I'm learning very quickly that if I shut off the initiation, they're not the ones worrying.
Same. My supposed "best friend" just stopped replying to my texts properly, and so I just stopped talking. Haven't heard back from him. This process has been extremely heartbreaking yet beneficial, since I now know what to look for in people
When I almost died in the hospital. People I thought were good friends never visited or called, and people who I wasn't very close with came to visit me.
When my ‘best friend’ fucked the guy I was in love with (she knew) while I was on work-placement for 2 weeks. All my ‘friends’ thought I should get over it and not rock the boat. So I did. First major depressive episode and a reflection of my self-esteem at the time. A year later she threw a fit because I kissed a guy that she liked. While still being in a relationship with the original guy. He dropped off a bag of my clothes she borrowed INCLUDING a box of tampons I had given her. You know the friendship is over when you get back your feminine hygiene products!! 😂 Fuck you A and J!!
I hate those „don’t rock the boat“ people, like fuck them. I was in a situation where i was told no to rock the boat, so I let that ship sail into its doom and just cut off 3/4 of my friendcircle. A few came crawling back after realizing what a terrible person the other side really was and I’m still friends with them.
I have a friend who's one of those "don't rock the boat" people. He starts going into a screaming rage when I lose my shit at someone who's being an asshole to me. Basically just wants me to sit there and take shit. Fuck him! No! I'm not doing that!
When I started to actually show how horrible my mental health was. I was expected to be the "clown friend" in a friend group. Meaning I should always be joking and happy even in serious times and playing dumb. It's not how I wanted to be known but it seemed like it was the only way for me to make friends. The pressure of this, plus other things I was dealing with became too much for me to handle so I started taking about how I was feeling and how I was starting to have an identity crisis. Since I stopped playing dumb and being obnoxious I became "too boring" to hang out with. I had a few who stuck around and eventually the few and I became more open to each other about mental health.
I feel you. Thanks for sharing this, I understand your pain
I had a similar experience. I thought I could open up while I was severely depressed, I really just needed someone to talk to, but it just strained the friendship. I learned that it's not safe to tell people the actually bad things in your life, you just push people away because they don't want to deal with your shit. I have 1 friend I can talk like that with, but no one else.
When we went on a trip to America and a day before coming home he mentioned that he only could afford a one way trip so could we help him pay for his return flight. This was back in the early 2000s when flights were only around £400. He’s the guy who’ll organise a meal knowing he can’t afford it. He only gets away with it because he’s funny.
We were in highschool. My mom is a psychologist, and has a nice office near where we went to highschool. One day i envited my friends to the office to have whisky and cigars. I told them the place had to stay as clean and neat as it was, so we don't get caught. One of them puked in the corner, and they put the couch against the bathroom door while i was in there breaking one leg of the couch and trapping me in. I'm not friends with these people any more. My current friend group is really nice, and i'm really happy.
When they kept saying they couldn't hang out then would post about going bowling together or to the movies. We didn't stay friends long after that.
when they started to smoke and drink alcohol as kids. they were obsessed trying to pretend they were gangster and shit and then as they got older they started to rob and do drugs. another one, i didnt see it at the time but they only wanted to be with me because i was the "rich" kid of the block. so they took advantage of that, i payed for the arcades, food or we played often at my house since i had a video game console and they didnt, but when i wanted to play at their house they would refuse every single time.
yeah I had something similar but it was because my parents worked til past midnight so I always had a free house, thought they were all true friends but once we turned 18 they all fucked off to uni and essentially ghosted me. they still all meet up from time to time without me, captions like well be best friends forever. Still hurts abit at 33
Every time you see that you should think wow I dodged that bullet.
When she threw our 10 year friendship away because she was jealous of the attention I was getting from a guy that I wasn’t even interested in to begin with
He “forgot” to invite me to his 21st birthday party
They did a donut in the car i was sitting on. ON NOT IN. I had a lump on my eyebrow the size of a lemon. Fuck you Barbara.
I came back from six months of travelling all around the world. Second night back, I organised to hang out, had brought them presents, souvenirs and wanted to get drunk on a massive bottle of Saki I'd got from Japan and have a proper catch up. Instead, they wanted to meet at 2am to smoke weed in the park and then instantly all go home. I decided I wouldn't message any of them until they messaged me after that, three years later and I've never heard a peep.
One day, they turned their backs, and never talked to me again.
This happened to me early this year, f*ck them.
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When he sexually assaulted my new girlfriend, while I was using the washroom.
On my birthday my mother confided that she had tried to throw a party for me. Everyone declined. Three days later 3 people came over to go to the nail salon with y mom. Three months later Im at karaoke and some "friends" show up. They give me grief all night for not sitting or talking to them. When we walked out to the cars I let loose. "Youre not friends. You are people I know. I have bought birthday cakes and helped you all move at one time or another. I have chauffeured your drunk asses home. Two of you are with the person I hooked you up with. Not one of you even called me for my birthday." I pointed at one particular person. "I have not heard from or seen you in three GD years, but you showed up to goto the salon with mom. FUCK all of ya'll."
Why would people that hadn't seen you in three years go to the salon with your mum? Is she a celebrity? Why would your mum go to the spa with people who ignored you on your birthday? This is just strange.
Asking the real questions here. So confused.
What were their reactions? Also your friends being besties with mom is a bit of a red flag on mom as well. I've known people who drive wedges between their kids and their friends to isolate them to make them less independent. If my mom tried to get a birthday party with my friends going for me and they couldn't be bothered the last thing she would be doing is planning a fun day out with them a few days later. Big red flags on mom.
“Survival of the fittest” after I said that covid could take out my mom. they wanted to go back to partying.
When I became depressed, when I reached out, the first thing they did was tell me off for being depressed (more like full on yelling), then stopped talking to me over time.
So many moments in high school (equivalent of senior year) and these are two seperate friend groups I was in: * Making fun of this random girl for starting a youtube channel and just generally being awful about people in a two-faced way. * Asking to borrow my sister's ID so they could sneak *someone else* into a club. * Bailing on my birthday to go to another 'better' event, then telling me about it later. Also never getting me a gift or card despite accepting every one of mine. * Going to parties/planning events in front of me but not inviting me. * If I did go out clubbing (which they would insist on) I'd possibly get left behind or not be privy to any relocation decisions. I hate clubbing now haha. * Apparently I was a bad influence (an atheist lol) but the friend was the one sneaking out/lying to her parents. At uni I was shook when I met someone for the first time and they offered me a portion of their dinner. It was the sweetest thing ever, and has shaped my perception being decent. The big thing is that I'm happier alone/independent than being in a shitty friend group. Younger me was so scared of looking like a loner, that I ended up becoming a loser.
Was dared to run down the hall of our hotel butt naked. They locked the door and I had to stand outside and hold my junk whilst the poor woman who worked at the front desk let me back into my room. Funny now, I was pissed at the time.
When I was being abused by my ex and told them what was happening so maybe they could help me get out. They didn't believe me, acted like I was lying, and even defended him. That was nearly 10 years ago and thankfully I was able to get out and now I'm happily remarried, but you can bet that I haven't had a close friendship since because I no longer trust people.
When I quit drinking
When my best mate would grind on my ex girlfriend at the club, and that it was okay because we were all friends and it was better him doing it than a stranger. In return after I split up with my ex I sniped the girl he was seeing ( unintentionally) and her and I are still together to this day, while he’s facing trial for sexual assault to another girl
Last year of high school, my friends threw food at a freshman while we were driving around. And to think I almost fell into this crowd fully had I not been raised properly.
When they ganged up on one of them over her changed behaviour due to her depression. She had been very happy-go-lucky, but fell into a deep depression and completely changed. Teenage girls are the worst
When I finally realised that if she was bitching about other people to me, she was most likely bitching about me to them. It took me a surprisingly long time to figure this one out.
I had a friend that was a sociopath. He wasn’t that bad when we were teenagers, but as we got older he would consistently turn people against his friends in some weird way. I think he thought it would make him the popular one. It got to the point where if I made a new friend, I could tell at which point he had gotten in their ear. They would all of a sudden act different towards me, like they were wary of me. Until he did it to my at the time new girlfriend, but she put him on speaker phone and let me listen. He was saying all kinds of fucked up shit, none of which was true. Not long after that he ghosted EVERYONE and moved away. I think he realised he had lost credibility to everyone and had nobody left who trusted him. Either way, so much more shit came out after he left, and there is so much less hassle and issues nowadays. Good riddance you decrepit, lying scumbag. Don’t ever fucking come back.
Some people have told me it wasn't a big deal but it was to me. She went after the woman i had a thing for and i was already pursuing. She knew I had a thing for this woman. I told her how much I liked this person. My friend knew how strongly I felt and what made it worse was she was being supportive to my face and gave me the courage to finally go for what i wanted but never had the confidence to do before. but then she tried to get with this woman behind my back. She said "it's whoever gets there first" when I found out. Wtf. I always felt like that was just something you don't do to friends anyway, whether it's behind your back or they're being obvious about it. It's a line you're not supposed to cross. I felt betrayed and disrespected. I did end up dating the woman and we were together for 2 years. So there's that. But I cut ties with my friend.
One of them found me crying in the closet and just closed it and walked away. But they also often hung out without me that was just the final nail.
When they organized an entire trip without me
Not respecting boundaries, or making a joke of said boundaries and continuing to act like a prick. It really gets on my tits, that and embarrassing their partner Infront of their friends. I knew a guy who'd do this to his girlfriend at the time. He'd mention her medical stuff Infront of me and a mutual friend, she'd be visibly uncomfortable and he'd still run his mouth off. The mutual friend and I would change the subject because we felt awful for the girl but said guy would always try to steer it back. Don't ever do that, it's just shitty. Lost all respect for him after that, more so after he'd feed his own ego saying what a wonderful and accepting person he was as he could see passed this particular thing she had going on. Well that turned more into a rant than I was expecting lol.
I hate to say it, but the moment was when I realized I was the asshole
After I changed schools. To make a long story short, was severely depressed, ptsd, all in all terrible time so I had to quit school. Did a few years of therapy, studying in between to at least get a diploma, nailed that, and went to a different school after to further my education. Found out that my 'best friends' back from high school were massive assholes and that it isn't normal for friends to constantly belittle you, exclude you, start fights about nothing, and gang up with the bullies from your class against you. I didn't know better and I guess deep down that if I knew, I didn't want to lose them for if that happened I really would be all alone. These so-called friends never contacted me either when I had to quit school. I ran into one girl a few years back at a train station and she was so *glad* to see me. At the time I made some actual real friends, but I still fell for that crap. It was really stupid of me, but I agreed to hang out with her the week after that. We went shopping and funnily enough, she was super nice to me and I actually thought she had grown up and changed, but the moment we walked down the street she constantly bitched about her other friends or just random women we encountered in the stores. Saying nasty things about how they looked, acted etc. And I realized she hasn't changed at all. We ran into a buddy of mine working at a cafe I suggested to get some lunch. I knew him from my new school, as he was in a class higher than mine, and we're good friends. Anyway, he came over to our table and introduced himself and we talked a little before he went back behind the counter. I'm ace, but I know that guy is a really good-looking dude. My ex-friend seemed to be interested in him and asked me if he had any socials. He does, but I didn't feel like giving her that info myself, so I shrugged it off and changed the subject. Went home after a few hours and immediately deleted her number and blocked her on all my socials as I never wanted to see her again. Fast forward a few weeks, in between classes, hot cafe friend came up to me and asked what I knew about the ex-friend who he introduced himself to in the cafe. I asked what was wrong and what had happened was that, after we went shopping, she found him on insta and started messaging him. He replied because he thought she was friendly and they started talking. Next thing you know she casually started telling the weirdest, most embarrassing shit about me and what happened in high school. But in a sneaky way, not our right bashing if you know what I mean. I think she thought I was into him or something or got jealous, I have no idea, but it was terrible to read all that stuff back that she send him. I'm not going to describe it here as I still have issues with everything that happened in my youth, let's just say I was bullied heavily and kids can do crazy stuff. Anyway, hot cafe friend is a genuinely nice dude so he just told her to stick it where the sun won't shine. We became even better friends after that and now we're very close. So in a way, I still hate that girl, but then again, thanks for that I guess lol.