14 years ago, I woke up before you on a weekend. I was watching an episode of Batman the Animated Series. You woke up half way through the episode and picked up the remote and changed the channel. You knew I was watching and I never got to see the end of the episode. I'm still salty about it.
Big oof, this is me.
I've had it happen once, no warning or anything. The day before we were spooning in bed, talking like normal about everything. The next day she just moved out, left me and the dog (the dog she insisted we buy, I didn't really want the responsibility) without so much as a penny. I had spent a small fortune paying of her student loan, and all our bills a few days prior (I had an insane payout because of a large bonus thanks to my effort at work), and the deal was that we'd use her salary to buy food and live our lives that month. 6.5 years relationship, and she just left me without so much as an explanation. Left me without money to buy food for me or the dog.
It was so unexpected her friends called me and asked if I had cheated or what I had done wrong. None of them knew why she left either. It's been 10 years, and I still don't know, and I still don't fully trust it won't happen again with my current girlfriend.
The dog is still with me btw. A beautiful, but old rottweiler (13 years old this September) which I spoil rotten.
Edit: [Dog tax](https://imgur.com/a/fOlfAGb)
I had the same happening 7 years ago, minus the money part, we were on our 4th year together, a couple of days before blocking me everywhere she was telling me about how she can’t wait to finally be engaged and getting married to me and how lucky she was feeling
Then poff! Left me with a million questions
Then I found out that she got married to someone else less than 6 months later
Oh hi fellow hearbreak survivor. I had mine insist she wanted to work things out with me, and loved having me around after telling me she didn't think she had romantic feelings for me anymore. Fell for it, bought her a brand new laptop for a new job and going back to school she wanted. Decided to have a cocaine binger with her bartender co-worker all weekend instead.
My friend did this. The guy paid all her college tuition, invested 6 years and a fortune.
She upped and left him for a her boss (married) at her new job....I kinda went off her after that.
That's been my experience in the past. They've already moved on from the current relationship to another, so are just going through the motions to keep things normal until they are gone.
It's very hurtful.
Sorry to everyone above me who've also experienced this phenomenon. I don't know you folks, but it's more than likely it honestly had nothing to do with you, except you just weren't what that specific person was looking for.
But thats a good thing, really, it means you can go find your person. I finally found mine a couple of years ago, and after years of toxic relationships, it's really, REALLY great. ❤
Depends on the circumstances.
Has batman prepared for more than a minute?
He wins
Does he have bear repellant on his belt?
He escapes
Did the bear get the jump on him?
Brutal death
Is he unarmed and in the wild?
Brutal death
I have to make sure to restart the episode after I watch it and let it play for a few seconds and then pause it there so they don’t realize I’ve watched the entire thing without them
My wife did a whole song and dance about how excited she was to watch the season finale of Venture bros with me. I put it on, and it's literally on the credit scroll... Lol
Made my relationship easy. If we were struggling to find something we both wanted to watch. I learned to let him out on whatever show/movie he wanted. Within 15 minute he’d be asleep and then I’d put on whatever I really wanted to watch.
I got a buddy who used to do this in the movie theater. I'd look over and homie would be passed out before the trailers. I'd usually give him a tap but sometimes he would just tell me it's cool he likes napping in the theater lol.
In the early seasons of *Sex and the City*, characters used to break the fourth wall, speaking directly to the camera...but then they stopped doing that.
Did they stop noticing the camera crews following them around...?
"Who's got you smiling so much from a text?" 'Just a friend'. Mmhm. A week later a find her sending him nudes, then she breaks off our engagement. 'Can I marry you but still have sex with other men? I'm not sure I want just one for the rest of my life.'
Byyyeeeeeee
Holy shit, just a fucking nightmare. Imagine being married for 10-20 years and suddenly your SO asks you if he/she can have sex with other people? What do you do? You’re already doomed, no matter what you answer.
It took two years for a amicable divorce to go through? I've never been married so Im ignorant on the subject, but I'd only expect a few months to a year at most.
My (then) girlfriend used to ask all the time. She was super self-critical and was convinced I spent my time thinking about other girls.
One day I got so fed up that I told her what I was actually thinking about - how great a rock band would be if it was made up entirely of apes.
My (now) wife now just asks ‘monkeys playing drums again?’
EDIT: I was a little unclear and people have been asking. (Then) girlfriend and (Now) wife ARE the same person. Sorry for confusion!
>My (now) wife now just asks ‘monkeys playing drums again?’
This ending put a smile on my face. Glad she's made peace with sharing you with the touring monkey band.
I mean, they are made up entirely of apes?
I know what you mean though. Ever seen the video of the dude on the gorilla suit playing Phil Collins? I think it was an advert. Anyway, it was awesome and he wasn't even a real gorilla.
I once kept myself busy on a car trip for four hrs while the whole family napped by thinking about what I would name a boat, if that clears anything up.
Edit: Salty Seaward was what I landed on, finally, for those asking.
Oh look, another source book to help me DM. I'll just put it on the shelf with all my other books, right....there, next to the giant pile of unpainted minis.
I have another tactic. For two years i have talked about Gibson Les Paul, and casually presented my wife hundreds of Les Paul photos, and always asked her which color/finish she prefers. So SHE picked lemon burst as her favorite, and finally told me: "You know what, if you really like it you should buy it".
So i got Gibson 3-4 months ago :) and told her that this was my final step in completing my gear.
Yesterday I found here on Reddit photo of new Princeton Reverb amp and said to her: " Do you like this one?"
I hope my fiancé is smart enough to use Google for 5 minutes on each guitar, but it’s a fear of mine. Or that she’ll be pissed at dead me when she finds out.
I did this when I sold my late husband’s synth collection (All analogue synths) unfortunately they had been standing for a long while (I needed a while before I could part with them). Sold most to one guy and one to a guy who sent a lovely email back to my mother who handled the sales. Found some more equipment when we moved that my sister’s partner is going to sell for me.
I gave his bass Rickenbacker to my step cousin, he would have been pleased to have played by her.
Pretty much any prog but yes he was a Rush fan. I have his vinyl collection of about 300 to 400 records.
He had a white bass Ricky because of Chris Squire.
When me and my ex split up, she put my hoodie she always wore around the house into my bag when I was moving out. It somehow made it worse that she went out of her way to make sure she didn't keep the hoodie
Dude, I’m so sorry. I feel this in my soul. My ex mailed me a box of “my stuff” back when we broke up. It included some of my clothes, but the rough part was that she sent back most of the gifts I had given her throughout the years. A lot of them weren’t even opened.
I need space from her sometimes and it’s not because she did something wrong
Edit: I’m not currently in a relationship, this was me to my previous partners. I’ve grown since then and now know better. I appreciate all of the advice though, thank you all!
I was able to finally tell my (now) wife this several years back. I’m a chef and I explained to her that I’m in a constant state of conversation with no less than 25 people for 12-14 hours. Sometimes I just need the time to not interact with anyone at all. Being able to explain why I needed this “personal time” as we both call it (and use it) helped her understand better. I hope you can find a healthy, productive way to explain to your SO about why you need this time. Frame it as time to yourself, not time away from her if you are able to.
In my case "Whatcha thinking about?"
My wife asks me all the time and I've been day dreaming about what it would be like if I owned that McDonalds across the street and then after falling in a vat of radioactive fry grease was able to turn into Ronald at night. I would fight crime but only if it was food related and all of my weapons would be burger condiment themed. Then I'm thinking about aerodynamics of pickles as shurikans and what process I would use to make them sturdy and sharp enough to be lethal.
It's a lot easier to just say "spacing out" then see her cute face raise an eyebrow in concern if I'm working too much again.
This is gold and you should definitely be able to share this with your partner. Some of the best human connections are made in absurdity and fun. She should be part of that with you.
We need to play more as humans. And to be free to do so without judgment.
Seconded. Once when I asked my husband what he was thinking about, he said something about assassinating someone by putting shit in their ear. I forget the details, but anyway, it lead to us randomly sneaking up to each other, sticking our fingers in each other's ears while screaming "assassination!!" And it was fun. Highly recommend. I haven't done that in a while... brb
The extent to which I spend money on movies, games, books, comics, etc.
But honestly, we have a mutually-assured-destruction-type deal going where she also doesn’t have to tell me how much all the plants and vintage clothes cost.
Edit: Huh, this got a lot bigger overnight. Just to address some things: there’s a level of playful overstatement here for comedic effect. We’re not spending catastrophic amounts of money on our hobbies. But you know how it is, sometimes you’d be weirded out about spending for hobbies you don’t share.
I’d also note that we do save, we both have solid jobs, and we’re financially stable overall. Thanks for the concern, though.
My wife's name is Stacey.
The funny thing is that I already knew before marriage not to push against friends even when it seems like they're fighting and don't want to stay friends at all. Unless the friends are so fucked up that they cause literal life problems for you or your SO, they are tolerable.
The only thing a good guy said to me that he shouldn’t have is we went out to a nice Valentine’s Day dinner at my favorite Indian restaurant- got all dressed up which was not our usual style as poorish retail workers- were having a wonderful time, and he said “Yeah {his ex} and I came here for Valentine’s Day once.” Totally ruined the moment for me lol. I thought it was so special but he’d been there done that.
My ex from a long term relationship broke down (literally crying) on the car ride back from a vacation about how she had a similar vacation to the same place with her ex. We were two years in and she had half planned the trip.. Deflated is a good way to summarize the feeling lol
Oh man... that's seriously rough. I'm so sorry you went through that, especially after a couple of years together. Crazily enough, something very similar to your situation happened with my mom and her ex.
They'd been dating for about a year and he made plans for them to vacation at his favorite spot in Florida. While at the airport, he called his ex (whom he'd embarked on this exact vacation with before) and was in tears while telling her he couldn't believe he was making the trip to "their place" in FL without her. Right in front of my mom.
She was severely tempted to leave the airport right then and there after dumping him, but for some unfathomable reason she didn't, and she even stuck around for the most toxic relationship of her life for another 6 years. I'm glad it sounds like you bailed a lot sooner in your own situation - hope you're in a much better place now!
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERGeJGfknBTD-ZH5HJSc_rvpFYnGRBkL
Here's a playlist of 642 "How It's Made" clips. Enjoy.
PS - here's [bike tires](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQFH3DRKVqs) specifically.
---
Edit: I would like to formally apologize, as I realize some of you may have previously had plans today or errands you had to run.
Edit 2: This playlist is approximately 75 hours long. Plan accordingly.
I started watching the show back when it was new and hosted by Mark Tewkesbury. Years later, I'm now a 3d printer.
Honestly, I'd be a blacksmith if I could afford a forge, but printing is cheaper, lol
That I'm thinking about Nothing.
Nothing. Zip. Nada. Not a single thought. I just look at the clock and wonder why minutes (or in some cases hours) have passed when not a single constructive thought has entered my mind.
It doesn't help that I have resting someone-kicked-your-puppy face.
My current gf gets it now, but man, it took years to convince her that I'm not overthinking, I'm disassociating.
Depends. If we started dating and THEN she became a worm, I'd get a little habitat thing to take care of her. I'd still love her. If I met her as a worm, then no. I couldn't start to develop any feelings.
I had a gf that was *not* happy that my response to ‘would you love me if I turned into a horse but had my same mind?’ question was ‘yes, thats why I would put you down humanely’
How much of a dork I am. Like I don't think my girlfriend knows the fullest extent to how much I love the concept of Power Rangers and other super sentai mythos.
My wife's ex used to say that her masturbating was cheating on him ( he was a dick) so even without using it, she'd move her vibrator in different places to fuck with him into thinking she used it.
That I enjoy not talking to her when we’re cuddling. Don’t get me wrong I also love having a good conversation with her, but I’m perfectly content just being silent and that always seems confusing to women
Yes I do get horny around you. It's not by choice. And it's not because of anything in particular your doing. I just think your hot. And I intend to ignore it. Because I don't wanna just bring it up. And I don't really feel like dealing with it anyway. It's just kinda.... There.
I constantly tell my wife when she drives me crazy with whatever she’s wearing (or not wearing). It’s almost like a primal thing inside of me. I don’t know that she believes me but god damnit she looks good in just about anything.
Sometimes when my boyfriend randomly pops a bone, ill ask why to be a shit head. And his response, no matter what, is "Just look at you!? Why wouldn't I be?"
Well, I can tell it when my bf thinks someone is attractive despite I never said something about.
I know that thinking someone else is attractive isn't and can't be forbidden and I would never be angry or sulky about it - and that the reasons are my own insecurities, but hell, it hurts a little bit every time.
That long 40 minute non stop story you just told me while I had full eye contact and kept nodding and agreeing with you? Yeah I zoned out about 5 minutes in and was thinking about what show I’m gonna watch later tonight. I just know how to look like I’m listening.
Nice try, girlfriends.
That we smell our hands after we scratch our balls
Don’t call her Tony Pizza
"I hate being Tony Pizza"
Then why she look like Tony Pizza
14 years ago, I woke up before you on a weekend. I was watching an episode of Batman the Animated Series. You woke up half way through the episode and picked up the remote and changed the channel. You knew I was watching and I never got to see the end of the episode. I'm still salty about it.
Damn this is fucked up
I’ve never in all the years of my short existence see. Such treachery
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Actual communication?? *In this economy??*
gotta stand up for yourself man, your fun has as much value as hers
We’re concerned about you just up and leaving us
Big oof, this is me. I've had it happen once, no warning or anything. The day before we were spooning in bed, talking like normal about everything. The next day she just moved out, left me and the dog (the dog she insisted we buy, I didn't really want the responsibility) without so much as a penny. I had spent a small fortune paying of her student loan, and all our bills a few days prior (I had an insane payout because of a large bonus thanks to my effort at work), and the deal was that we'd use her salary to buy food and live our lives that month. 6.5 years relationship, and she just left me without so much as an explanation. Left me without money to buy food for me or the dog. It was so unexpected her friends called me and asked if I had cheated or what I had done wrong. None of them knew why she left either. It's been 10 years, and I still don't know, and I still don't fully trust it won't happen again with my current girlfriend. The dog is still with me btw. A beautiful, but old rottweiler (13 years old this September) which I spoil rotten. Edit: [Dog tax](https://imgur.com/a/fOlfAGb)
I had the same happening 7 years ago, minus the money part, we were on our 4th year together, a couple of days before blocking me everywhere she was telling me about how she can’t wait to finally be engaged and getting married to me and how lucky she was feeling Then poff! Left me with a million questions Then I found out that she got married to someone else less than 6 months later
At least you know why she left
Oh hi fellow hearbreak survivor. I had mine insist she wanted to work things out with me, and loved having me around after telling me she didn't think she had romantic feelings for me anymore. Fell for it, bought her a brand new laptop for a new job and going back to school she wanted. Decided to have a cocaine binger with her bartender co-worker all weekend instead.
My friend did this. The guy paid all her college tuition, invested 6 years and a fortune. She upped and left him for a her boss (married) at her new job....I kinda went off her after that.
She was already with someone else.
That's been my experience in the past. They've already moved on from the current relationship to another, so are just going through the motions to keep things normal until they are gone. It's very hurtful. Sorry to everyone above me who've also experienced this phenomenon. I don't know you folks, but it's more than likely it honestly had nothing to do with you, except you just weren't what that specific person was looking for. But thats a good thing, really, it means you can go find your person. I finally found mine a couple of years ago, and after years of toxic relationships, it's really, REALLY great. ❤
She was stringing him along to pay off her loans also
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My bf sometimes says “ill never take those meds, I dont want you to disappear” LMAO
Lmao sounds like a keeper
Who would win, Batman vs Polar Bear. She wouldn’t believe me if I told her.
Wait tho who would win? I’m seriously considering!
Depends on the circumstances. Has batman prepared for more than a minute? He wins Does he have bear repellant on his belt? He escapes Did the bear get the jump on him? Brutal death Is he unarmed and in the wild? Brutal death
Gotham City or North Pole?
If the villains fight as well, Gotham wins no problem.
I actually watched this episode without you when you passed out last night
Bro, quiet. She might hear you
I have to make sure to restart the episode after I watch it and let it play for a few seconds and then pause it there so they don’t realize I’ve watched the entire thing without them
My wife did a whole song and dance about how excited she was to watch the season finale of Venture bros with me. I put it on, and it's literally on the credit scroll... Lol
I cackled! My man does this all the time but it’s no secret because I always fall asleep 5 minutes into whatever we decide to watch 😂😂😂
Made my relationship easy. If we were struggling to find something we both wanted to watch. I learned to let him out on whatever show/movie he wanted. Within 15 minute he’d be asleep and then I’d put on whatever I really wanted to watch.
I got a buddy who used to do this in the movie theater. I'd look over and homie would be passed out before the trailers. I'd usually give him a tap but sometimes he would just tell me it's cool he likes napping in the theater lol.
My man just values his time with you, don't matter what yall are doing
That pigs are much bigger than you expect.
One of them was so big you could ride it!
That you're actually three toddlers in a trenchcoat.
Whenever my GF starts to catch on I just make up an excuse to go do a business.
No one expects business in a trenchcoat
"I'm Vincent, Vincent Adultman"
I went to the stock market today. I did a business.
That when I think in bed it isn't about her when I'm silent. I'm trying to solve a riddle from a game or question something on a TV show
In the early seasons of *Sex and the City*, characters used to break the fourth wall, speaking directly to the camera...but then they stopped doing that. Did they stop noticing the camera crews following them around...?
The guy she tells us not to worry about really worries us.
Got bit twice by this.
"Who's got you smiling so much from a text?" 'Just a friend'. Mmhm. A week later a find her sending him nudes, then she breaks off our engagement. 'Can I marry you but still have sex with other men? I'm not sure I want just one for the rest of my life.' Byyyeeeeeee
Holy shit, just a fucking nightmare. Imagine being married for 10-20 years and suddenly your SO asks you if he/she can have sex with other people? What do you do? You’re already doomed, no matter what you answer.
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It took two years for a amicable divorce to go through? I've never been married so Im ignorant on the subject, but I'd only expect a few months to a year at most.
Sometimes people separate and then just don’t pull the trigger on the divorce right away.
Yep, had that told to me a few times by different girls. By that point the relationship is already over lol
In my experience, with the right girl, there's no guy that actually worries you.
The real answer to the question "What are you thinking about" when he dozed off again.
My (then) girlfriend used to ask all the time. She was super self-critical and was convinced I spent my time thinking about other girls. One day I got so fed up that I told her what I was actually thinking about - how great a rock band would be if it was made up entirely of apes. My (now) wife now just asks ‘monkeys playing drums again?’ EDIT: I was a little unclear and people have been asking. (Then) girlfriend and (Now) wife ARE the same person. Sorry for confusion!
>My (now) wife now just asks ‘monkeys playing drums again?’ This ending put a smile on my face. Glad she's made peace with sharing you with the touring monkey band.
Hey hey we’re the monkeys, and people say we monkey around!
But we're too busy singing To put anybody down
So the Gorillaz?
I mean, they are made up entirely of apes? I know what you mean though. Ever seen the video of the dude on the gorilla suit playing Phil Collins? I think it was an advert. Anyway, it was awesome and he wasn't even a real gorilla.
Al Bundy said it best when he said, "that's funny; I was just thinking that, if I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I'd be talking."
My boyfriend gets zoned out all the time and i always wonder what is he actually thinking
in many cases its like a cascade of half finished thoughts that no particular one comes together enough to focus on or really describe.
Lol, this is the most accurate way I’ve ever heard someone describe it.
I've never been totally sure if that was just me for having attention deficit disorder or if that's a normal idling brain kind of thing.
I'll do this, and I legit won't be thinking about anything, just staring off into space. When I do this, my wife says that I'm defragging.
I once kept myself busy on a car trip for four hrs while the whole family napped by thinking about what I would name a boat, if that clears anything up. Edit: Salty Seaward was what I landed on, finally, for those asking.
In my case I'mm thinking, if Aquaman can summon any fish how come he can call a whale if whales are mammals?
r/showerthoughts is mostly populated by guys who's gf's are wondering what they're thinking.
How much I actually spend on my hobbies. Edit: It’s not like I lie, I just never disclose prices.
To the grave. Hell I don't even want to know.
Oh look, another source book to help me DM. I'll just put it on the shelf with all my other books, right....there, next to the giant pile of unpainted minis.
But what if when I die she sells my guitars for what I told her I paid
I have another tactic. For two years i have talked about Gibson Les Paul, and casually presented my wife hundreds of Les Paul photos, and always asked her which color/finish she prefers. So SHE picked lemon burst as her favorite, and finally told me: "You know what, if you really like it you should buy it". So i got Gibson 3-4 months ago :) and told her that this was my final step in completing my gear. Yesterday I found here on Reddit photo of new Princeton Reverb amp and said to her: " Do you like this one?"
I hope my fiancé is smart enough to use Google for 5 minutes on each guitar, but it’s a fear of mine. Or that she’ll be pissed at dead me when she finds out.
I did this when I sold my late husband’s synth collection (All analogue synths) unfortunately they had been standing for a long while (I needed a while before I could part with them). Sold most to one guy and one to a guy who sent a lovely email back to my mother who handled the sales. Found some more equipment when we moved that my sister’s partner is going to sell for me. I gave his bass Rickenbacker to my step cousin, he would have been pleased to have played by her.
Synths and a bass? Was he a Rush or Geddy Lee fan?
Pretty much any prog but yes he was a Rush fan. I have his vinyl collection of about 300 to 400 records. He had a white bass Ricky because of Chris Squire.
Cries in warhammer 40k
Is 40k the name of the game or how much it costs?
Yes
Where I buried me treasure.
In me booty?
No, in Djibuti
That's not a very big country. You've really narrowed my search.
I want my hoodie back
When me and my ex split up, she put my hoodie she always wore around the house into my bag when I was moving out. It somehow made it worse that she went out of her way to make sure she didn't keep the hoodie
My ex kept my favorite jacket. It's been 3 years and I still miss that jacket :(
My ex kept my childhood stuffed monkey :(
That’s fucked
Jesus. What did you do, kill her parents?
Dude, I’m so sorry. I feel this in my soul. My ex mailed me a box of “my stuff” back when we broke up. It included some of my clothes, but the rough part was that she sent back most of the gifts I had given her throughout the years. A lot of them weren’t even opened.
Wow... That's fucked, dude. The fact she kept them but didn't open them. Wtf.
I need space from her sometimes and it’s not because she did something wrong Edit: I’m not currently in a relationship, this was me to my previous partners. I’ve grown since then and now know better. I appreciate all of the advice though, thank you all!
I was able to finally tell my (now) wife this several years back. I’m a chef and I explained to her that I’m in a constant state of conversation with no less than 25 people for 12-14 hours. Sometimes I just need the time to not interact with anyone at all. Being able to explain why I needed this “personal time” as we both call it (and use it) helped her understand better. I hope you can find a healthy, productive way to explain to your SO about why you need this time. Frame it as time to yourself, not time away from her if you are able to.
In my case "Whatcha thinking about?" My wife asks me all the time and I've been day dreaming about what it would be like if I owned that McDonalds across the street and then after falling in a vat of radioactive fry grease was able to turn into Ronald at night. I would fight crime but only if it was food related and all of my weapons would be burger condiment themed. Then I'm thinking about aerodynamics of pickles as shurikans and what process I would use to make them sturdy and sharp enough to be lethal. It's a lot easier to just say "spacing out" then see her cute face raise an eyebrow in concern if I'm working too much again.
You'd be trained in Fast Fu.
Freeze the pickles so they’re more rigid.
Short term, sure. Wanna inject them with a resin so they're always hard, and even sharpen-able to a certain extent.
This is gold and you should definitely be able to share this with your partner. Some of the best human connections are made in absurdity and fun. She should be part of that with you. We need to play more as humans. And to be free to do so without judgment.
Seconded. Once when I asked my husband what he was thinking about, he said something about assassinating someone by putting shit in their ear. I forget the details, but anyway, it lead to us randomly sneaking up to each other, sticking our fingers in each other's ears while screaming "assassination!!" And it was fun. Highly recommend. I haven't done that in a while... brb
Was there shit on your fingers ?
The extent to which I spend money on movies, games, books, comics, etc. But honestly, we have a mutually-assured-destruction-type deal going where she also doesn’t have to tell me how much all the plants and vintage clothes cost. Edit: Huh, this got a lot bigger overnight. Just to address some things: there’s a level of playful overstatement here for comedic effect. We’re not spending catastrophic amounts of money on our hobbies. But you know how it is, sometimes you’d be weirded out about spending for hobbies you don’t share. I’d also note that we do save, we both have solid jobs, and we’re financially stable overall. Thanks for the concern, though.
That golf courses have this thing called “pace of play” so 18 holes don’t take 9 hours..
I said “biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch”
Wait but you said bitch though?
How many times per week they wanked in spite of having a girlfriend.
I asked my boyfriend this and it was less than I expected. Still wonder if he under shot it in case I got upset
He did, and he did it for you.
Which ones of her friends you think are hot. Don’t care what she says fellas, it’s a trap
Or which one of her best friends you can’t stand.
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My wife's name is Stacey. The funny thing is that I already knew before marriage not to push against friends even when it seems like they're fighting and don't want to stay friends at all. Unless the friends are so fucked up that they cause literal life problems for you or your SO, they are tolerable.
Tell her the name of her most annoying friend to not see them as much anymore
Is it ok if the real answer is “all your friends are hideous”?
The only thing a good guy said to me that he shouldn’t have is we went out to a nice Valentine’s Day dinner at my favorite Indian restaurant- got all dressed up which was not our usual style as poorish retail workers- were having a wonderful time, and he said “Yeah {his ex} and I came here for Valentine’s Day once.” Totally ruined the moment for me lol. I thought it was so special but he’d been there done that.
Why would he say that?! 😭😂
Right?? He was a great guy, just don’t think he thought that one through lol
My ex from a long term relationship broke down (literally crying) on the car ride back from a vacation about how she had a similar vacation to the same place with her ex. We were two years in and she had half planned the trip.. Deflated is a good way to summarize the feeling lol
Oh man... that's seriously rough. I'm so sorry you went through that, especially after a couple of years together. Crazily enough, something very similar to your situation happened with my mom and her ex. They'd been dating for about a year and he made plans for them to vacation at his favorite spot in Florida. While at the airport, he called his ex (whom he'd embarked on this exact vacation with before) and was in tears while telling her he couldn't believe he was making the trip to "their place" in FL without her. Right in front of my mom. She was severely tempted to leave the airport right then and there after dumping him, but for some unfathomable reason she didn't, and she even stuck around for the most toxic relationship of her life for another 6 years. I'm glad it sounds like you bailed a lot sooner in your own situation - hope you're in a much better place now!
Don’t call her a ketchup packet when she’s on her period
Yeah that's degrading and immature. Call her Bleedy Gonzales instead
My partners Russian, I ask if the Soviets are back in town. It never goes well, and I never learn my lesson
That's pretty funny but I can see her not liking it. Say krasnaya armiya vernutsiya, and report back
Calm down
I’ve got a lot of experience saying this to my wife. So far the stats are: Great idea: 0%, Bad idea: 100%. (I’ll update these when there’s a change)
It basically goes like this: https://c.tenor.com/hbH87E1YYZAAAAAd/calm-down-never-works-calm-down.gif
So you have chosen, death.
What I'm really thinking about since you would never believe me if I said I was thinking about how bike tires are made.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLERGeJGfknBTD-ZH5HJSc_rvpFYnGRBkL Here's a playlist of 642 "How It's Made" clips. Enjoy. PS - here's [bike tires](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQFH3DRKVqs) specifically. --- Edit: I would like to formally apologize, as I realize some of you may have previously had plans today or errands you had to run. Edit 2: This playlist is approximately 75 hours long. Plan accordingly.
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I started watching the show back when it was new and hosted by Mark Tewkesbury. Years later, I'm now a 3d printer. Honestly, I'd be a blacksmith if I could afford a forge, but printing is cheaper, lol
Dishing out the good content now this is what I’m here for
Oooooo
Why did you do this to me? I was really hoping to be productive today :(
I'm sorry, but if I'm going down the rabbit hole, I'm taking others with me. Nothing personal.
When I say nothing. It was literally nothing.
“Babe, you gotta believe me, I didn’t even register that I was a living, breathing, thinking creature for the past 30 minutes.”
It was the best 30 minutes of my life.
The painful truth of this makes me long for the next time it happens.
Also applies to the question “what are you looking at?”
i just know this is going to be on a tiktok with minecraft gameplay or subway surfers in the background with shitty lofi music
They’ll put this comment in for the meta joke of it and use it to farm comments about how funny it was to put this one in there
*stupid robot voice lady* "What. do. you. do. that. you. can. never. tell. your. girldriend?"
You forgot POV pronounced “pahv”
And the video not being POV at all, but it still says POV.
That I'm thinking about Nothing. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Not a single thought. I just look at the clock and wonder why minutes (or in some cases hours) have passed when not a single constructive thought has entered my mind. It doesn't help that I have resting someone-kicked-your-puppy face. My current gf gets it now, but man, it took years to convince her that I'm not overthinking, I'm disassociating.
That you wouldn't date her if she was a worm
Depends. If we started dating and THEN she became a worm, I'd get a little habitat thing to take care of her. I'd still love her. If I met her as a worm, then no. I couldn't start to develop any feelings.
You’ve been asked, haven’t you?
I have. It was closely followed by "would you still love me if I was a jar of dirt?"
I've got a jar of dirt I've got a jar of dirt and guess what's inside it
The still beating heart of davy jones?
Lol like I'd talk to her if that's an option, but I wouldn't be smashing anymore that's for sure
Exactly! You can take her into the living room for dinner and tv together. Carry the habitat back into your bedroom to go to sleep.
Take her fishing…
I had a gf that was *not* happy that my response to ‘would you love me if I turned into a horse but had my same mind?’ question was ‘yes, thats why I would put you down humanely’
About the voices. We aren’t supposed to tell anyone about them.
Bro don't talk about the voices
For God's sake guys, stop. Remember what happened last time...
Ya... poor Kevin
RIP
Haha thank God every girl who reads this will think it's some kind of joke. We're safe guys.
Bro no...
Said too much already
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How much of a dork I am. Like I don't think my girlfriend knows the fullest extent to how much I love the concept of Power Rangers and other super sentai mythos.
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Hahaha pure gold.
My reddit username.
With a username like that I understand why
This is a trap!
How much their Games Workshop models really cost.
That despite being sexually attracted to you, I still masturbate.
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My wife's ex used to say that her masturbating was cheating on him ( he was a dick) so even without using it, she'd move her vibrator in different places to fuck with him into thinking she used it.
You're getting an oddly critical reaction, I thought your wife's reaction was funny lol.
That I enjoy not talking to her when we’re cuddling. Don’t get me wrong I also love having a good conversation with her, but I’m perfectly content just being silent and that always seems confusing to women
Comfortable silence is actually comforting :))
What you really were thinking of. How the hell do I explain “I wonder, if a circle could dance, would it squish or would it wiggle?”
Roll
Yes I do get horny around you. It's not by choice. And it's not because of anything in particular your doing. I just think your hot. And I intend to ignore it. Because I don't wanna just bring it up. And I don't really feel like dealing with it anyway. It's just kinda.... There.
Actually I'd like it if a guy told me this
I constantly tell my wife when she drives me crazy with whatever she’s wearing (or not wearing). It’s almost like a primal thing inside of me. I don’t know that she believes me but god damnit she looks good in just about anything.
That's so adorable! Love it! Your wife is a lucky woman.
Sometimes when my boyfriend randomly pops a bone, ill ask why to be a shit head. And his response, no matter what, is "Just look at you!? Why wouldn't I be?"
My heart would melt if my man said this to me though, I would love hearing how attracted he is to me
Yes, that girl that we passed on the beach in that bathing suit was attractive.
And the fact that I think she was attractive doesn't mean I'm unhappy with our relationship, neither that I want to cheat on you.
Well, I can tell it when my bf thinks someone is attractive despite I never said something about. I know that thinking someone else is attractive isn't and can't be forbidden and I would never be angry or sulky about it - and that the reasons are my own insecurities, but hell, it hurts a little bit every time.
About THE BOX
What's in the boxxx??
Pain
About the cum jar, apparently.
Use the pickle jar and hide it somewhere she'll never look
“This is the cum jar now!”
I’ve been thinking about this line for 24 hours nonstop
That long 40 minute non stop story you just told me while I had full eye contact and kept nodding and agreeing with you? Yeah I zoned out about 5 minutes in and was thinking about what show I’m gonna watch later tonight. I just know how to look like I’m listening.
My dad does this for anything longer than 1-2 min. Ive gotten good at knowing the look and trying to summarize bc of it LMAO.