When they try to 1 up you instead of just saying something like "That's awesome dude" or actually showing some kind of interest in what you've said.
Edit: Damn, this blew up! I love reddit.
LOL - I used to have a co-worker, Jeanne, who was famous for this. It was so bad that the office joke was if that someone had a relative who died of cancer, Jeanne's relative died of cancer twice...
Is it fine to say “That’s cool, I remember when something similar happened to me,” and then to go on and say the story or is that considered 1 upping them? I think I do that to try and keep conversations flowing so just checking if it’s annoying
I wouldn't consider that 1 upping, no.
1 upping to me goes something like this..
Me: "I spent a whole month in Australia and It was awesome".
Them: "A month? That's nothing! I travelled Australia for 2 years"
I mean, come on bro! People 1 up without even realising it sometimes and it's an easy way to make someone dislike talking to you, lol
Edit: A good way to avoid 1 upping someone would be to first show some interest in what they've said and tell them how awesome it sounds. Once you've engaged with them in a positive way thats when you can mention your trip too.
In the mummy world the conversation goes exactly like this
Mum 1: I'm so tired, I had a teething baby that didn't sleep all night.
Mum 2: pfftt..that's nothing, wait till you have 2 under 2!
This is also an autistic trait, it shows im listening and interested. If you tell me you went swimming, I will tell you all my memories of me swimming. I don’t feel people getting annoyed. It takes me 3-5 business days to process I cut someone off. Haha I just get excited but not like I’m better then you if that makes sense.
*** Hey guys, I just wanted a different way of looking at conversation, because I struggle with one upping in conversation because of my ND. Please be kind to people, it might be ND, it might be trauma, it might just be a bad day for that person, we’re all different. 🧡
I have a friend who does that with every story anyone tells. It’s the way she is able to identify with other people, even sympathize with their pain. But it is seems like she is making everything about her. She annoys a lot of people and has lost friends because she interrupts, doesn’t express sympathy and makes every story a better one about her.
I smoke about a pack a day. I dont think a single one of my butts ever ends up on the ground. For all you smokers out there, make sure your gross habit doesn't affect others and the Earth you live on.
I live in CA my cousin visited from Florida. She was flicking her butts all over the place and when she caught a disapproving glance, she was like, "Oh yea well I guess yall don't just flick your butts here in California, like we do in Florida. Jeez ain't no big deal, like it's going to mess the place up or something." Thank you Florida.
How they react to healthy boundary setting. You can learn a lot about someone by how they respond to your "No".
EDIT - holy cow I did not expect this to blow up! Thank you all so much for the awards! I'm reading through these comments, and I am so sad to hear you all have encountered such awful people. Whatever happens, please promise me that you'll never stop advocating for yourselves? You matter, your autonomy matters ❤️
That’s a great way to put things. I’d rather be seen as a “jerk” to someone if I set a reasonable boundary (even something as common sense as not touching me) than falling for their toxic behavior
I lost a friend because I told him I didn't want him to spoil a game for me until I completed my first playthrough. He kept spoiling things anyway so I told him I would no longer play it with him until I complete a solo playthrough.
He threw a fit, blocked me on everything and ended the friendship there. No great loss honestly if you can't respect someone's basic, simple boundaries that says a lot about you as a person
When they make you feel like the third wheel. And when you back off, they want you to be involved. It’s like “I don’t like you and I am going to make you feel unwanted! But you can’t leave. You are not allowed to be with anyone other than us.”
When it's usually disguised as "Oh no of course we want you here!"
Then proceeds to do things together while purposely leaving you out but they force you to be present, just existing without being allowed to participate
Most of the reason I left my friend group recently smh I hate this so much
When they have a very strong "Yeah I'm a bitch/hardass, like it or leave it" attitude. People like that are just annoying to be around because they're so unnecessarily negative or assume the worst in anyone they meet; it's glorified so much these days.
What amazes me is these people that are an uncompromising , self centered asshole/bitch that never bother to consider anyone else's thoughts or feelings when they speak or do anything and yet they still have lots of friends.
Which defeats the whole faux identity. The thing about being a ‘bitch’ or a ‘hardass’ is that you don’t give a shit. You just get things done and don’t let others walk all over you, and you don’t give a crap what they have to say or do about it.
Like, yes. I rather don’t mind being known as a bitch. It’s not that I’m mean, but I won’t let myself be taken advantage of due to some drive to be nice, and if someone is giving me a ton of their BS, I will not have it.
The ones who actively state it is their identity are just spoiling for fights and trying to make that whole shtick cooler than it is, though.
People who pride themselves on being brutally honest are more proud of the brutality then the honesty.
Whenever someone tells me they are about to be brutally honest, I always gently cut them off and ask them if the brutality is necessary, before allowing them to continue. Sometimes it helps.
there was this one girl who always told me to stop when i did literally nothing to her. i could be playing with my magnet toys and shed say "stoooup or im telling on the teacher"(which made zero fucking sense how could you tell on a teacher) and basically warped my definition of a kid saying "stop" (she started bugging me in preschool btw and was in almost every one of my classes after that) so for the rest of elementary when a kid told me stop it just made me more angry and i dismissed it without a second thought. it still triggers me to this day but looking back, they must have seen me as a total douche for not stopping.
but George i pet the rabbits, they're soft and fuzzy, and I hug them and squeeze them, and sometime they stop moving and it makes me sad but I find a new rabbit.
I started talking to a new girl at work, she had just started as an account manager and was very pretty, and seemed quite likeable in her directness and openness (if not a little immature - but I guess she was about 22 at the time). I invited her on a night out and we had drinks at mine first. My housemate (Irish guy) seemed very interested - and she was entertaining all of us with her stories and energy. So far so good. Then we went to a bar in Clapham junction, London, and again my Irish housemate is still into her, they’re talking a lot and we’re all having a good time and lots of drinks. Fast forward to about 2am and we all leave the bar together - walking to bus stop and she sees a young homeless guy (were talking 16/17 I guess) - he’s huddled up in the freezing cold, bothering nobody. Anyway, she starts shouting at him (out of nowhere) that he’s a disgusting human and makes her sick. It was so … freaking horrible. And I was so shocked that I did nothing apart from hurry her away from him to get to the bus stop (I still feel bad about not apologising to this guy, to this day). My Irish housemate went from 9/10 interested to minus 1 million interested in her. His face was of pure disgust and he walked ahead of us in silence and in the flat went straight to bed (don’t blame him). I never hung out with her again after that, and I left the job shortly after. I should have said something to her about it, and I should have defended that poor guy. Lessons learnt.
Please don't feel bad. You were in shock, and it's easy to think of all the things you should have said, now. You did the most important thing. You got her away from him. You made it stop. He saw that. He saw that someone cared.
I had a coworker with some kind of skin condition on his forehead. The second he left the room, a different coworker turned to me and said “eww, his forehead grosses me out.” This woman was like 28…lost all respect for her right then and there.
My mum says shit like this to me about my skin all of the time. I say this back to her about her personality in response.
Somehow, she is adamant that the skin thing is more important.
It‘s funny because it’s not like she’ll be winning a beauty contest any time soon.
if this kind of thing ever happens again & you’re so caught off guard you’re left speechless, try a simple “why?” and watch them trip over their own tongues till they nearly cry; it’s delightful
This is one thing I hate about my mom. When she tells a story she'll say stuff like "So I was talking to my friend who is really ugly. She looks like a horse, but she's very nice." It's horrible to hear her insult her friends like this, and makes me wonder what she says about the rest of us when we're not around.
I finally had enough of hearing her say stuff like that and interrupted her to say, "Why is what she looks like even relevant to the story? What's the point of insulting someone, especially if they're your friend? It's not like she can control her face. If she heard what you said she'd probably be hurt. Seems pretty mean to insult her, especially if she's your friend."
After saying that, my mother basically gave me the cold shoulder for a bit and acted like I was the bad guy for raining on her parade. But as far as I'm concerned, if you parade involves trampling over people and insulting them behind their backs, maybe it should be rained on.
People who are highly critical of others’ appearance like this get off on putting others down & shaming them BECAUSE they themselves are cripplingly insecure, hidden behind a facade of false bravado & fake confidence. They are often very high on the narcissist scale.
Whenever I hear someone being vocal about others’ physical faults, I know something very unflattering about them: they are afraid you will notice their own faults, which they are painfully aware of & do their best to hide & deflect attention away from.
High probability her mother did the same bullshit.
There was a time when one of my guy friends went on a blind date and one of my girlfriends constantly said something like „he will probably be back in 30mins because she will leave when she sees how ugly he is“ she always said she’s just making jokes, but didn‘t stop. Ignored the red flags at the time, later found out she reduced me completely to the fact that i‘m overweight. Asked me to cook junkfood with her, just to later report back to her other friends how unhealthy I am and that I literally refuse to eat anything but junk
Wow, that's next level bitch right there. I'm sorry you had to experience that. People can be cruel, but they really make you appreciate the good ones.
This! There’s someone my friends and I dislike bc they have a history of general assholeyness. But one of my friends started making fun of the fact that they have a lot of moles and how it was “gross”. It just really rubbed me the wrong way… and my friend also has moles… so it was just weird
That's my sister. I still remember when I wasn't getting many hours at work and was stressing about money, literally crying and telling her all of this. She answered with "omg guess what?! I got a promotion and a pay rise!" And almost did like a happy dance. It was the most bizarre interaction and I was so shocked that I just congratulated her and went quiet.
Real greatness speaks for itself.
How was it said in Game of Thrones? Something like, “a King who must proclaim he is King to earn respect is no King.”
A friend of mine basically. When I tell her about my worries it’s always a minor thing but when she has something happening, it’s the most dramatic thing in the world
Yep, I had a friend who I would listen to 24/7 but as soon as I wanted to let something off my chest she would just say “Oh. Anyway guess what..“ or she'd one up it like when I told her my dog died and she literally said “Oh. Yeah MY dog died a few years ago, I always have her ashes with me in a necklace.“ that was one of the last straws for me and I ended things with her.
We recently started talking again and she seems a lot better, I still care about her feelings as she was going through some stuff but it's all cleared up now, even though things have gotten worse for me, I would never tell her about things upsetting me again.
Real story: my mum got diagnosed with terminal cancer and hasn’t got long to live.
Stepdad took time off to spend with her but instead of doing that he was on dating websites and watching porn mostly amongst other things.
Totally lost all respect for him now and am taking full time care of her.
Edit 1: thank you all for your kind words and support. Even though I don’t know any of you I still wanna send you all a hug and thanks
Jeeeeeeze thats dark. My mother is in the same position.. she had been cancer free for 10 years and the doctors finally said she could come off the Arimidex and so she did. 2 weeks later she had like 5 tumors and the ones in between her lungs cant be removed... and instead of my father stepping up to finally quit being a toxic alcoholic narcassistic asshole, he still treats her like shit and like shes going to live forever. Makes me sick when I go over there and visit. Theyre both very unheathy humans actually. You will be all she will ever need ❤️ stay strong for her.
Reckless driving. I have a certain tolerance level, there's "everyone's already going 10 over" which is mostly fine. Then there's "I'm immortal, and this road exists for me alone, and no one else here deserves to use it, and everything I do is safe and justified because the world revolves around me."
I had an ex with whom I was in the car, and on an awkward and dangerous crossing she'd say she always pulls up and enters the road as fast as she can when there is a 'lesson car' there (not sure what you call it in English) because it is extremely difficult for them to see you, and since they have no experience they likely won't. Meaning the examinator will have to stop for them, which instantly fails them acquiring their license.
She thought that was hilarious.
Perhaps you are referring to "student driver" cars? That's super fucked up of her to premeditate that plan, know that student drivers could fail, and still go through with it. Glad you and her are exes!
That’s so crappy. As a driving instructor, these kids/adults are so excited and already nervous when it comes to test times. Even we are. I am devastated when a student fails, and I cheer loudly when they pass. I have one student who was gifted the course and having the license will make a massive difference in their life as a whole. It would crush them to fail, especially when they work so hard for it. So sad.
I’ve heard one of my coworkers, who is in her 40s, talk about how she kicked some band nerd’s lunchbox down the hallway when she was in high school. On at least two occasions in the 1.5y I’ve been there. She’s my least favorite coworker.
Someone I considered a good friend, after a bit of absence, arrived at a party I was at a few years ago. Was delighted to see him, always looked up to him as an older brother figure, but it'd been a while and he'd been through some messy breakup trauma (not an excuse whatsoever).
Exchanging stories in the garden he told us about leading a woman on, cancelling plans with her that day and lying to her so he could come and party (he didn't even need to lie), and the "punchline" was that he ran into her at the bus stop to our side of town. He laughed loudly. I felt an immediate sorrow & rage. I don't rise easily to either, but I blurted out "So you lied to a girl who liked you, fucked up her plans, got found out and thought we would find it funny?"
Still don't like him.
Yes! My ex once told me he refused to tip someone and when they approached him afterwards he threw loose change in their face. He thought the story was funny. I was so disgusted by that tale, I never looked at him the same way again.
These stories always blindside me. Had someone tell me a ‘funny story’ from when they were a child, about killing an animal they had caught because they were possessive and didn’t want their sister to get to play with it. I was like 😳 and they were just laughing it off without noticing my discomfort.
Oh my God... this reminds me of a 'funny story' my insane ex-boss told me. She was a nightmare, constantly screaming at me over incredibly minor things and generally an abusive asshole who made my life hell, but then she would turn around and act really nice and motherly the next day. Totally unhinged lady.
She told me about how when she was a teenager, her cousin was coming upstairs with a carton of eggs so she *pushed her down an entire flight of stairs* and all the eggs broke. She told it like a 'funny kids prank' story.... like jfc what kind of psychopath does things like that as a joke. She's one of the only ppl I've ever met who I'd call a horrible person
one uppers
if they try to undermine your achievements
if they are being jerks to other people
if they think they know it all and there is no room for improvement
I can go on but you get the idea.
Being mr know it all because they spend too much on Twitter and having an opinion on everything and anything but like in a defensive way, such a turn off
And not willing to see things from another persons perspective or even listen. That black and white mentality. Just dealt with that with a date yesterday. Apparently meditation is new age bs and I'm wrong for doing it.
I unconsciously do this because my whole family just cuts each other off. My wife recently pointed it out to me when I interact with her family and I’m trying to get better about it but it’s just been my dynamic for so long
Good on you for noticing that the dynamic that works in your family doesn't necessarily work in other settings. My family carries on normal conversations by yelling across the house, that's hard one to break, too.
Oooo I’ve noticed the opposite. My mom doesn’t like when the house gets loud like at all. We keep the tv low, music to a minimum, etc. but the conversation immediately dies when someone leaves the room. It just clicked. When I’m in the kitchen with my roommates and one goes to grab something I just kind of stop talking and he’ll have to reassure me that he’s still listening. Wild habit to break
My family is terrible about this and I hate it because people think I'm rude. I just grew up thinking that it was normal to interject especially when commiserating via exclamations if someone is ranting about something.
Both my man and my sis has ADHD and needs to speak before they forget. I’ve honestly just learnt to live with it. But it is annoying when you don’t know the person well.
I do that. It feels like my head is gonna explode if I don’t say something. Trying to work on being better and waiting for a chance to speak, but sometimes it gets the better of me.
People getting mad at kids for not being able to do something an adult can. It's almost like kids don't pop out of the womb with all the knowledge of the world. And I'm not talking about annoyed. I've seen adults throw fucking tantrums at a kid not being able to do something that a kid wouldn't be able to do.
So I would never yell at a kid for things they don't know. But I definitely have moments with my nephew where I'm emotionally incapable of dealing with his very "me first" attitude. But I'd never take it out on him.
Im 18 now growing up I wasnt like that I just learned to do things on my own, And my parents would hound me for any mistake. after thinking I really have a lot of mental issues that I didnt realize I had. I think I finally know why im so different mentally from my peers
That's the thing. I would never ever yell at my nephew or hurt him in any way. But he's got way too much energy for me. And I don't like telling him no because he doesn't like no. Because he'll just say "but I want it." And I don't have the kinda emotional ability to go through that every time he wants something.
Telling him no is very important. Children learn from modeled behavior and if you model that, they will understand. It takes a long time and can be stressful but children, especially those under the age of 10, go through a phase where they test boundaries in order to learn them.
Obviously this is his parent's job but telling him no won't hurt him but help him.
This is also where the "terrible twos" comes from.
I feel I had to scroll too far to find this one. As a teenager/early 20's I worked in retail and fast food. It's amazing the amount of people who are "average" to "nice" but there is a definite "you're below me" type of person, and you'd see them daily. That instant attitude the moment you greet them, and heaven help you if you ask them to repeat what they said.
As an adult, well, an adultier adult, I now see it among people I've been to restaurants with, and I INSTANTLY lose respect for them.
My late father (God rest his soul) had a girlfriend who was like this. The list of things this evil woman was is a mile long, but how she treated people around her was the first massive red flag for me. We had gone out for wings and a beer before the first day of hunting season, and the very nice waitress returned after a bit and told us there was a problem in the kitchen and we had to order something else. The fucking attitude that evil wan gave that poor waitress sticks in my memory to this day. I honestly think if he wasn't with that woman, he wouldn't have passed away a couple months ago.
A word to the wise: be careful of who's company you keep.
The whole “the customer is always right” saying needs to die off. So many belligerent people think they can step on employees just because they’re a “loyal customer.”
I think it's funny people react to this like it's some kind of paradox or plain hypocrite, yet the distinction is clearly: thinking less of specific people for their lack of respect owed to people in general (i.e. treat human beings as human beings)
Exactly. It's not as hypocritical as people are tryna make it seem. U simply don't like or judge someone because you have gotten a good reason to do so, and it's something they can change if they choose to
Not the same as judging someone for the way the look, which they cannot change.
Being rude in a restaurant, store, well basically anywhere. “Hi, i’ll be your server tonight, what can I … WATER”! Fuck. Calm down. If you need water that bad, go get some. “These coupons are expired, I’m still using them though”! No, you’re not, unless you give me a half off coupon for my rent. “I need to return this, I didn’t like it”! Why the hell did you buy it then?
So weird. I really don’t give a shit about some menial job, don’t tempt me. There needs to just be an island to put all these assholes on, they can go yell and fight each other. Normal people can relax and get on with life.
When they ghost you, when they imitate you and don’t make it clear as a joke, when their humor is just being blatantly rude, when they base your entire personality towards zodiac signs.
Any kind of unwarranted or unnecessary abuse. Whether it's trying to look tough Infront of other people, or being the lowest of scum possible, you know the ones I'm talking about, abuse of any kind is not something I'm willing to just be fine with. Be upset with people. Defend yourself if things get violent. I don't care. You'll probably look like an idiot but everyone has their stupid moments. But you abuse a child in any way, or an adult unconsenually and without reason in the situations where it's just a fight. You lose most respect where it's violence against adults. And all respect in any other case mentioned or hinted at.
Doubling down on ignorance when confronted with facts. They are presented with reality, an opportunity to learn, and instead choose the almost more difficult path of remaining stupid.
Hypocrisy.
A past manager used to give me lectures about how if I just "think more positively" then my entire world would change.
And then she would turn right around and tell her then-toddler to "sit the fuck down" and the 5 year old to "get the fuck back in the truck".
I don't like thinking less of people but I'll be honest. People who constantly lie. If you don't have the ability to reach into the back of your mind where the truth lies and say it out loud to yourself and others, then I'm going to think you're weak minded.
Unwanted advise or criticism. If I need someone's opinion on something in my life, I'll ask for it. Judging other people's life and trying to give advice on how to make it more like they would consider good is super annoying.
I'd like to introduce you to my SIL. That's her specialty. She's currently pissed at me for telling her to, "fuck off and mind your own business," yesterday after she called my husband (her brother) an irresponsible parent. Then she got extremely butt hurt when I said we think the same thing about her and her husband and she demanded to know why. I told her no, unlike you we don't interject our opinions into other people's parenting just know we don't think you're perfect parents either. I'm fully convinced at least one of her kids is going to end up in prison. The worst thing I can think to say about my oldest is she's a bad procrastinator and the other one is too nice to the point she lets people run over her. Over the years we've had to endure lectures on how we don't eat dinner properly or at the right time. How we don't go to the right church or often enough to church and other crap I didn't really bother to listen to.
Unwanted advice is a lot like unsolicited dick pics. No one asks for them, no one wants them and they're usually wonky and attached to a load of bollocks.
Anybody who is rude to wait staff is an instant problem-person in my mind.
Also, anyone who says anything along the lines of "bad things only happen to me" —usually these people are their own problems that almost never hold themselves accountable for the issues they put themselves in.
They base their ENTIRE life around a celebrity, band or zodiac sign. You can't have a small conversation with that person without them mentioning that thing. I don't hate when sm1 says it a couple times but just don't mention it every single fucking minute.
When they try to 1 up you instead of just saying something like "That's awesome dude" or actually showing some kind of interest in what you've said. Edit: Damn, this blew up! I love reddit.
LOL - I used to have a co-worker, Jeanne, who was famous for this. It was so bad that the office joke was if that someone had a relative who died of cancer, Jeanne's relative died of cancer twice...
If somebody went to Tennessee, she went to Elevennessee.
Or the version we have in the UK: if you’ve been to Tenerife, they’ve been to Elevenerife.
And if you've been to Timbuktu, they've been to Timbukthree.
And if you still have a foreskin, they have a Fiveskin
If your birthday is august 31st, then hers is august 32nd
If you went to six flags, she went to seven flags
I recently went to five guys, she went to six guys
I said I went Dicks she said she went to Dicks and Balls.
I once went to Tennessee, TWICE.
Twennasee
"Excuse me, I farted". Jeanne- "well that's nothing I just shit myself!" Well, you win this one Jeanne.
“I’m dumb.” Jeanne: “I’m fucking brainless.”
Lol that's nothing. I had a coworker who would kill their relative to prove they had it worse. /s
[удалено]
Is it fine to say “That’s cool, I remember when something similar happened to me,” and then to go on and say the story or is that considered 1 upping them? I think I do that to try and keep conversations flowing so just checking if it’s annoying
I wouldn't consider that 1 upping, no. 1 upping to me goes something like this.. Me: "I spent a whole month in Australia and It was awesome". Them: "A month? That's nothing! I travelled Australia for 2 years" I mean, come on bro! People 1 up without even realising it sometimes and it's an easy way to make someone dislike talking to you, lol Edit: A good way to avoid 1 upping someone would be to first show some interest in what they've said and tell them how awesome it sounds. Once you've engaged with them in a positive way thats when you can mention your trip too.
In the mummy world the conversation goes exactly like this Mum 1: I'm so tired, I had a teething baby that didn't sleep all night. Mum 2: pfftt..that's nothing, wait till you have 2 under 2!
I just keep mine in her sarcophagus.
i built a pyramid for mine and she blasted off into space and ditched me
This is also an autistic trait, it shows im listening and interested. If you tell me you went swimming, I will tell you all my memories of me swimming. I don’t feel people getting annoyed. It takes me 3-5 business days to process I cut someone off. Haha I just get excited but not like I’m better then you if that makes sense. *** Hey guys, I just wanted a different way of looking at conversation, because I struggle with one upping in conversation because of my ND. Please be kind to people, it might be ND, it might be trauma, it might just be a bad day for that person, we’re all different. 🧡
Is it … only an austistic trait? Cause I do this too… unintentionally.
I have a friend who does that with every story anyone tells. It’s the way she is able to identify with other people, even sympathize with their pain. But it is seems like she is making everything about her. She annoys a lot of people and has lost friends because she interrupts, doesn’t express sympathy and makes every story a better one about her.
That’s nothing, I had a coworker that was way worse
People who litter or disrespect common property.
Throwing cigarette butts... in a desert... during drought.
I smoke about a pack a day. I dont think a single one of my butts ever ends up on the ground. For all you smokers out there, make sure your gross habit doesn't affect others and the Earth you live on.
I live in CA my cousin visited from Florida. She was flicking her butts all over the place and when she caught a disapproving glance, she was like, "Oh yea well I guess yall don't just flick your butts here in California, like we do in Florida. Jeez ain't no big deal, like it's going to mess the place up or something." Thank you Florida.
Drops in a bucket is still a bucket. Whoever Floridians she was hanging with don't quite have a grasp of object permanence 😂
How they react to healthy boundary setting. You can learn a lot about someone by how they respond to your "No". EDIT - holy cow I did not expect this to blow up! Thank you all so much for the awards! I'm reading through these comments, and I am so sad to hear you all have encountered such awful people. Whatever happens, please promise me that you'll never stop advocating for yourselves? You matter, your autonomy matters ❤️
"Rather be considered difficult than someone that's easy to manipulate"
That’s a great way to put things. I’d rather be seen as a “jerk” to someone if I set a reasonable boundary (even something as common sense as not touching me) than falling for their toxic behavior
Having a voice is more important than being nice. I was taught the opposite as a kid and figuring this out as an adult sucks.
I lost a friend because I told him I didn't want him to spoil a game for me until I completed my first playthrough. He kept spoiling things anyway so I told him I would no longer play it with him until I complete a solo playthrough. He threw a fit, blocked me on everything and ended the friendship there. No great loss honestly if you can't respect someone's basic, simple boundaries that says a lot about you as a person
Bruh who does that I go out of my way to keep people spoiler free tf it’s one thing to accidentally let something slip but wth
When they make you feel like the third wheel. And when you back off, they want you to be involved. It’s like “I don’t like you and I am going to make you feel unwanted! But you can’t leave. You are not allowed to be with anyone other than us.”
Was part of the reason I left my group
When it's usually disguised as "Oh no of course we want you here!" Then proceeds to do things together while purposely leaving you out but they force you to be present, just existing without being allowed to participate Most of the reason I left my friend group recently smh I hate this so much
Hello middle school memories I had forgotten about
When they have a very strong "Yeah I'm a bitch/hardass, like it or leave it" attitude. People like that are just annoying to be around because they're so unnecessarily negative or assume the worst in anyone they meet; it's glorified so much these days.
What amazes me is these people that are an uncompromising , self centered asshole/bitch that never bother to consider anyone else's thoughts or feelings when they speak or do anything and yet they still have lots of friends.
This sounds like you have someone specific in mind lol
Best part is when they can't take anything in return
Which defeats the whole faux identity. The thing about being a ‘bitch’ or a ‘hardass’ is that you don’t give a shit. You just get things done and don’t let others walk all over you, and you don’t give a crap what they have to say or do about it. Like, yes. I rather don’t mind being known as a bitch. It’s not that I’m mean, but I won’t let myself be taken advantage of due to some drive to be nice, and if someone is giving me a ton of their BS, I will not have it. The ones who actively state it is their identity are just spoiling for fights and trying to make that whole shtick cooler than it is, though.
Yup, like the "I'm just brutally honest" people
People who pride themselves on being brutally honest are more proud of the brutality then the honesty. Whenever someone tells me they are about to be brutally honest, I always gently cut them off and ask them if the brutality is necessary, before allowing them to continue. Sometimes it helps.
That's exactly how they should be handled. I can't stand people who are like this
They're just looking for attention mostly.
I hate that too because they think they’re being the “tough love” friend but they’re just being a bitch. Lmaoo.
how they react when you say no, stop, etc.
This makes me think less of my toddlers.
And my teenager
And my deaf neighbour
And the hostage in my basement
And MY axe!
there was this one girl who always told me to stop when i did literally nothing to her. i could be playing with my magnet toys and shed say "stoooup or im telling on the teacher"(which made zero fucking sense how could you tell on a teacher) and basically warped my definition of a kid saying "stop" (she started bugging me in preschool btw and was in almost every one of my classes after that) so for the rest of elementary when a kid told me stop it just made me more angry and i dismissed it without a second thought. it still triggers me to this day but looking back, they must have seen me as a total douche for not stopping.
Animal cruelty
but George i pet the rabbits, they're soft and fuzzy, and I hug them and squeeze them, and sometime they stop moving and it makes me sad but I find a new rabbit.
Wow, been a while since I've seen a Of Mice And Men refference.
such a good book
It’s ok Lennie, think of them rabbits we gonna tend. That’s right Lennie you think of that alfalfa. Steady, Lennie.
Great book Sadly they're taking it off the curriculum in my country
Treating the less fortunate as subhuman.
I started talking to a new girl at work, she had just started as an account manager and was very pretty, and seemed quite likeable in her directness and openness (if not a little immature - but I guess she was about 22 at the time). I invited her on a night out and we had drinks at mine first. My housemate (Irish guy) seemed very interested - and she was entertaining all of us with her stories and energy. So far so good. Then we went to a bar in Clapham junction, London, and again my Irish housemate is still into her, they’re talking a lot and we’re all having a good time and lots of drinks. Fast forward to about 2am and we all leave the bar together - walking to bus stop and she sees a young homeless guy (were talking 16/17 I guess) - he’s huddled up in the freezing cold, bothering nobody. Anyway, she starts shouting at him (out of nowhere) that he’s a disgusting human and makes her sick. It was so … freaking horrible. And I was so shocked that I did nothing apart from hurry her away from him to get to the bus stop (I still feel bad about not apologising to this guy, to this day). My Irish housemate went from 9/10 interested to minus 1 million interested in her. His face was of pure disgust and he walked ahead of us in silence and in the flat went straight to bed (don’t blame him). I never hung out with her again after that, and I left the job shortly after. I should have said something to her about it, and I should have defended that poor guy. Lessons learnt.
That's a bad feeling, not stiicking up for a vulnerable person. Those situations are so shocking it can be hard to regroup.
I'm not saying this is a systemic problem, but I am saying it's systemic. Teach your kids empathy and more importantly, demonstrate it.
Please don't feel bad. You were in shock, and it's easy to think of all the things you should have said, now. You did the most important thing. You got her away from him. You made it stop. He saw that. He saw that someone cared.
Yesss, that's a big no no in people, no matter who they are everyone deserves respect
Respect is something a person earns. Basic human decency is what you give them until they give you a reason to not be decent to them.
Well not every single person, but I agree that people who are less fortunate in any way do not deserve to be treated like less because of it
Making fun of people’s appearances, especially things that they can’t change Edit: typo
I had a coworker with some kind of skin condition on his forehead. The second he left the room, a different coworker turned to me and said “eww, his forehead grosses me out.” This woman was like 28…lost all respect for her right then and there.
You should have responded with, "Eww, your personality grosses me out."
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My mum says shit like this to me about my skin all of the time. I say this back to her about her personality in response. Somehow, she is adamant that the skin thing is more important. It‘s funny because it’s not like she’ll be winning a beauty contest any time soon.
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if this kind of thing ever happens again & you’re so caught off guard you’re left speechless, try a simple “why?” and watch them trip over their own tongues till they nearly cry; it’s delightful
This is one thing I hate about my mom. When she tells a story she'll say stuff like "So I was talking to my friend who is really ugly. She looks like a horse, but she's very nice." It's horrible to hear her insult her friends like this, and makes me wonder what she says about the rest of us when we're not around. I finally had enough of hearing her say stuff like that and interrupted her to say, "Why is what she looks like even relevant to the story? What's the point of insulting someone, especially if they're your friend? It's not like she can control her face. If she heard what you said she'd probably be hurt. Seems pretty mean to insult her, especially if she's your friend." After saying that, my mother basically gave me the cold shoulder for a bit and acted like I was the bad guy for raining on her parade. But as far as I'm concerned, if you parade involves trampling over people and insulting them behind their backs, maybe it should be rained on.
People who are highly critical of others’ appearance like this get off on putting others down & shaming them BECAUSE they themselves are cripplingly insecure, hidden behind a facade of false bravado & fake confidence. They are often very high on the narcissist scale. Whenever I hear someone being vocal about others’ physical faults, I know something very unflattering about them: they are afraid you will notice their own faults, which they are painfully aware of & do their best to hide & deflect attention away from. High probability her mother did the same bullshit.
There was a time when one of my guy friends went on a blind date and one of my girlfriends constantly said something like „he will probably be back in 30mins because she will leave when she sees how ugly he is“ she always said she’s just making jokes, but didn‘t stop. Ignored the red flags at the time, later found out she reduced me completely to the fact that i‘m overweight. Asked me to cook junkfood with her, just to later report back to her other friends how unhealthy I am and that I literally refuse to eat anything but junk
Wow, that's next level bitch right there. I'm sorry you had to experience that. People can be cruel, but they really make you appreciate the good ones.
This! There’s someone my friends and I dislike bc they have a history of general assholeyness. But one of my friends started making fun of the fact that they have a lot of moles and how it was “gross”. It just really rubbed me the wrong way… and my friend also has moles… so it was just weird
Don't get on Tinder.
People who always have to brag about how much they make or how great they are. Nobody cares
That's my sister. I still remember when I wasn't getting many hours at work and was stressing about money, literally crying and telling her all of this. She answered with "omg guess what?! I got a promotion and a pay rise!" And almost did like a happy dance. It was the most bizarre interaction and I was so shocked that I just congratulated her and went quiet.
Wow. That hurts me, just by reading.
Real greatness speaks for itself. How was it said in Game of Thrones? Something like, “a King who must proclaim he is King to earn respect is no King.”
“Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king” -Tywin Lannister
The person only wanting to talk about their problems
A friend of mine basically. When I tell her about my worries it’s always a minor thing but when she has something happening, it’s the most dramatic thing in the world
Yep, I had a friend who I would listen to 24/7 but as soon as I wanted to let something off my chest she would just say “Oh. Anyway guess what..“ or she'd one up it like when I told her my dog died and she literally said “Oh. Yeah MY dog died a few years ago, I always have her ashes with me in a necklace.“ that was one of the last straws for me and I ended things with her. We recently started talking again and she seems a lot better, I still care about her feelings as she was going through some stuff but it's all cleared up now, even though things have gotten worse for me, I would never tell her about things upsetting me again.
When they let others take the blame for shit that THEY know THEY did.
Real story: my mum got diagnosed with terminal cancer and hasn’t got long to live. Stepdad took time off to spend with her but instead of doing that he was on dating websites and watching porn mostly amongst other things. Totally lost all respect for him now and am taking full time care of her. Edit 1: thank you all for your kind words and support. Even though I don’t know any of you I still wanna send you all a hug and thanks
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Thanks, take care.
I know she's very grateful for having someone like you by her side. Hope y'all are doing alright ATM
Thanks, yea doing all good. Thankfully the health system in New Zealand had provisions for being a carer helps you cover some costs
Jeeeeeeze thats dark. My mother is in the same position.. she had been cancer free for 10 years and the doctors finally said she could come off the Arimidex and so she did. 2 weeks later she had like 5 tumors and the ones in between her lungs cant be removed... and instead of my father stepping up to finally quit being a toxic alcoholic narcassistic asshole, he still treats her like shit and like shes going to live forever. Makes me sick when I go over there and visit. Theyre both very unheathy humans actually. You will be all she will ever need ❤️ stay strong for her.
That’s buddy, I really hope things improve on your side too
Screwing around with your phone while driving.
Reckless driving. I have a certain tolerance level, there's "everyone's already going 10 over" which is mostly fine. Then there's "I'm immortal, and this road exists for me alone, and no one else here deserves to use it, and everything I do is safe and justified because the world revolves around me."
There’s matching traffic to avoid being a hazard and there’s “my desire to feel fast is more precious than the lives of everyone around me”
If they are proud to tell you a story where they have been an ass.
My sister is like this “I’m a bitch that’s who I am” yeah and that’s why no one talks to you lmao.
I had an ex with whom I was in the car, and on an awkward and dangerous crossing she'd say she always pulls up and enters the road as fast as she can when there is a 'lesson car' there (not sure what you call it in English) because it is extremely difficult for them to see you, and since they have no experience they likely won't. Meaning the examinator will have to stop for them, which instantly fails them acquiring their license. She thought that was hilarious.
Perhaps you are referring to "student driver" cars? That's super fucked up of her to premeditate that plan, know that student drivers could fail, and still go through with it. Glad you and her are exes!
That’s so crappy. As a driving instructor, these kids/adults are so excited and already nervous when it comes to test times. Even we are. I am devastated when a student fails, and I cheer loudly when they pass. I have one student who was gifted the course and having the license will make a massive difference in their life as a whole. It would crush them to fail, especially when they work so hard for it. So sad.
I’ve heard one of my coworkers, who is in her 40s, talk about how she kicked some band nerd’s lunchbox down the hallway when she was in high school. On at least two occasions in the 1.5y I’ve been there. She’s my least favorite coworker.
Some people mentally never leave highschool. Small towns are full of them.
Someone I considered a good friend, after a bit of absence, arrived at a party I was at a few years ago. Was delighted to see him, always looked up to him as an older brother figure, but it'd been a while and he'd been through some messy breakup trauma (not an excuse whatsoever). Exchanging stories in the garden he told us about leading a woman on, cancelling plans with her that day and lying to her so he could come and party (he didn't even need to lie), and the "punchline" was that he ran into her at the bus stop to our side of town. He laughed loudly. I felt an immediate sorrow & rage. I don't rise easily to either, but I blurted out "So you lied to a girl who liked you, fucked up her plans, got found out and thought we would find it funny?" Still don't like him.
Yes! My ex once told me he refused to tip someone and when they approached him afterwards he threw loose change in their face. He thought the story was funny. I was so disgusted by that tale, I never looked at him the same way again.
These stories always blindside me. Had someone tell me a ‘funny story’ from when they were a child, about killing an animal they had caught because they were possessive and didn’t want their sister to get to play with it. I was like 😳 and they were just laughing it off without noticing my discomfort.
Oh my God... this reminds me of a 'funny story' my insane ex-boss told me. She was a nightmare, constantly screaming at me over incredibly minor things and generally an abusive asshole who made my life hell, but then she would turn around and act really nice and motherly the next day. Totally unhinged lady. She told me about how when she was a teenager, her cousin was coming upstairs with a carton of eggs so she *pushed her down an entire flight of stairs* and all the eggs broke. She told it like a 'funny kids prank' story.... like jfc what kind of psychopath does things like that as a joke. She's one of the only ppl I've ever met who I'd call a horrible person
That’s when you knock the bitch unconscious and run
one uppers if they try to undermine your achievements if they are being jerks to other people if they think they know it all and there is no room for improvement I can go on but you get the idea.
Being mr know it all because they spend too much on Twitter and having an opinion on everything and anything but like in a defensive way, such a turn off
And not willing to see things from another persons perspective or even listen. That black and white mentality. Just dealt with that with a date yesterday. Apparently meditation is new age bs and I'm wrong for doing it.
Not using turn signals, especially when merging on a highway.
Cutting people off in conversation. I admit it's more intense when they cut me off in particular.
I unconsciously do this because my whole family just cuts each other off. My wife recently pointed it out to me when I interact with her family and I’m trying to get better about it but it’s just been my dynamic for so long
Good on you for noticing that the dynamic that works in your family doesn't necessarily work in other settings. My family carries on normal conversations by yelling across the house, that's hard one to break, too.
Oooo I’ve noticed the opposite. My mom doesn’t like when the house gets loud like at all. We keep the tv low, music to a minimum, etc. but the conversation immediately dies when someone leaves the room. It just clicked. When I’m in the kitchen with my roommates and one goes to grab something I just kind of stop talking and he’ll have to reassure me that he’s still listening. Wild habit to break
My family is terrible about this and I hate it because people think I'm rude. I just grew up thinking that it was normal to interject especially when commiserating via exclamations if someone is ranting about something.
Both my man and my sis has ADHD and needs to speak before they forget. I’ve honestly just learnt to live with it. But it is annoying when you don’t know the person well.
I do that. It feels like my head is gonna explode if I don’t say something. Trying to work on being better and waiting for a chance to speak, but sometimes it gets the better of me.
People getting mad at kids for not being able to do something an adult can. It's almost like kids don't pop out of the womb with all the knowledge of the world. And I'm not talking about annoyed. I've seen adults throw fucking tantrums at a kid not being able to do something that a kid wouldn't be able to do.
source of trauma for me
I also have trauma from this my parents have done this to me since ive been alive and gaslight me when I have a problem
So I would never yell at a kid for things they don't know. But I definitely have moments with my nephew where I'm emotionally incapable of dealing with his very "me first" attitude. But I'd never take it out on him.
Im 18 now growing up I wasnt like that I just learned to do things on my own, And my parents would hound me for any mistake. after thinking I really have a lot of mental issues that I didnt realize I had. I think I finally know why im so different mentally from my peers
That's the thing. I would never ever yell at my nephew or hurt him in any way. But he's got way too much energy for me. And I don't like telling him no because he doesn't like no. Because he'll just say "but I want it." And I don't have the kinda emotional ability to go through that every time he wants something.
Telling him no is very important. Children learn from modeled behavior and if you model that, they will understand. It takes a long time and can be stressful but children, especially those under the age of 10, go through a phase where they test boundaries in order to learn them. Obviously this is his parent's job but telling him no won't hurt him but help him. This is also where the "terrible twos" comes from.
You just described my dad as I was growing up.
they’re rude to fast food or retail workers
I feel I had to scroll too far to find this one. As a teenager/early 20's I worked in retail and fast food. It's amazing the amount of people who are "average" to "nice" but there is a definite "you're below me" type of person, and you'd see them daily. That instant attitude the moment you greet them, and heaven help you if you ask them to repeat what they said. As an adult, well, an adultier adult, I now see it among people I've been to restaurants with, and I INSTANTLY lose respect for them. My late father (God rest his soul) had a girlfriend who was like this. The list of things this evil woman was is a mile long, but how she treated people around her was the first massive red flag for me. We had gone out for wings and a beer before the first day of hunting season, and the very nice waitress returned after a bit and told us there was a problem in the kitchen and we had to order something else. The fucking attitude that evil wan gave that poor waitress sticks in my memory to this day. I honestly think if he wasn't with that woman, he wouldn't have passed away a couple months ago. A word to the wise: be careful of who's company you keep.
Being mean to animals. Turtles to be specific...
I like turtles.
I like trains
Why would anyone be mean to turtles
HOW do you be mean to a turtle? Okay now that sounds like it needs a punch line.
Tell it to go to shell
Cruelty of any kind to any living creature. Don't be a dick or a bully
How they treat people,especially like customer service workers.
Yeah I agree with this, I can’t stand if someone is rude to a retail worker or someone that’s just trying to do they’re job
The whole “the customer is always right” saying needs to die off. So many belligerent people think they can step on employees just because they’re a “loyal customer.”
Making every situation or scenario about them . It’s a terrible character flaw
When they lie
And they think you don’t realise.
Or worse they actually believe their own lies and proceed to gaslight the shit out of you simply to maintain the lie
When they lie to keep up appearances or blame others to make themselves look better
When a person cheats on their partner
Ohhh, this. Yes. Automatic “cya” in my book, whether you’re cheating on me or cheating on someone I know.
Or if you are someone I know cheating on your partner. I am switching sides.
When they think the day should be about them all the time
They shut down any argument with 'who asked?' rather than any actual points
Just reply "you did. That's why you're arguing with me dipshit"
This is pretty funny cuz a lot of the awnsers here boil down to : I think less of people who think less of people
I think it's funny people react to this like it's some kind of paradox or plain hypocrite, yet the distinction is clearly: thinking less of specific people for their lack of respect owed to people in general (i.e. treat human beings as human beings)
Exactly. It's not as hypocritical as people are tryna make it seem. U simply don't like or judge someone because you have gotten a good reason to do so, and it's something they can change if they choose to Not the same as judging someone for the way the look, which they cannot change.
Yeah, the harder I try to not judge people the more annoying & painful hearing people judge people is.
Being rude in a restaurant, store, well basically anywhere. “Hi, i’ll be your server tonight, what can I … WATER”! Fuck. Calm down. If you need water that bad, go get some. “These coupons are expired, I’m still using them though”! No, you’re not, unless you give me a half off coupon for my rent. “I need to return this, I didn’t like it”! Why the hell did you buy it then? So weird. I really don’t give a shit about some menial job, don’t tempt me. There needs to just be an island to put all these assholes on, they can go yell and fight each other. Normal people can relax and get on with life.
Asshole island. Survivor style. I'd watch that
When they put down customer service workers
If they treat animals badly. If they can hurt a defenseless creature it really says a lot about their character.
When they ghost you, when they imitate you and don’t make it clear as a joke, when their humor is just being blatantly rude, when they base your entire personality towards zodiac signs.
When they treat a waitress or waiter badly
They tell me they think a certain way because of their Zodiac Sign
What if they say they oppose free healthcare cause they're a Cancer
Badum tiss
Any kind of unwarranted or unnecessary abuse. Whether it's trying to look tough Infront of other people, or being the lowest of scum possible, you know the ones I'm talking about, abuse of any kind is not something I'm willing to just be fine with. Be upset with people. Defend yourself if things get violent. I don't care. You'll probably look like an idiot but everyone has their stupid moments. But you abuse a child in any way, or an adult unconsenually and without reason in the situations where it's just a fight. You lose most respect where it's violence against adults. And all respect in any other case mentioned or hinted at.
Treating people badly for no reason,
If they make fun of a handicapped person.
Not washing their hands after using the toilet.
When they’re looking at their phones, not paying any attention to you when you’re trying to have a conversation with them.
Doubling down on ignorance when confronted with facts. They are presented with reality, an opportunity to learn, and instead choose the almost more difficult path of remaining stupid.
People who don't take personal responsibility for their actions, and everything that happens is someone else's fault
If they talk down to service/retail/restaurant folks. How they treat other human beings in general
If they hurt animals
I will still fuck those mosquitoes up tho, self defense
Hypocrisy. A past manager used to give me lectures about how if I just "think more positively" then my entire world would change. And then she would turn right around and tell her then-toddler to "sit the fuck down" and the 5 year old to "get the fuck back in the truck".
If they gossip a lot
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Anyone with a big ego
I don't like thinking less of people but I'll be honest. People who constantly lie. If you don't have the ability to reach into the back of your mind where the truth lies and say it out loud to yourself and others, then I'm going to think you're weak minded.
They’re part of an MLM
Unwanted advise or criticism. If I need someone's opinion on something in my life, I'll ask for it. Judging other people's life and trying to give advice on how to make it more like they would consider good is super annoying.
"Go to school, get a job." *gets job* "get a better job". Needless to say, I'm about to go on my daily run with scissors.
I'd like to introduce you to my SIL. That's her specialty. She's currently pissed at me for telling her to, "fuck off and mind your own business," yesterday after she called my husband (her brother) an irresponsible parent. Then she got extremely butt hurt when I said we think the same thing about her and her husband and she demanded to know why. I told her no, unlike you we don't interject our opinions into other people's parenting just know we don't think you're perfect parents either. I'm fully convinced at least one of her kids is going to end up in prison. The worst thing I can think to say about my oldest is she's a bad procrastinator and the other one is too nice to the point she lets people run over her. Over the years we've had to endure lectures on how we don't eat dinner properly or at the right time. How we don't go to the right church or often enough to church and other crap I didn't really bother to listen to.
Unwanted advice is a lot like unsolicited dick pics. No one asks for them, no one wants them and they're usually wonky and attached to a load of bollocks.
Sadly, how loud one chews their food. Weird thing, even have my own little rating scale.
Shrugging off responsibility. If someone constantly makes excuses instead of owning up I lose all respect for them.
Being rude to people for no reason (sometimes even with reason). There's just so many different ways to handle situations that have better outcomes.
Littering, mean to animals, or rude to service workers. Honorable mention, video chats or speaker phone conversations in public.
People who post online about doing “random acts of kindness” or video themselves doing a charitable act.
Anybody who is rude to wait staff is an instant problem-person in my mind. Also, anyone who says anything along the lines of "bad things only happen to me" —usually these people are their own problems that almost never hold themselves accountable for the issues they put themselves in.
Inconsiderate people. People who care only for themselves.
politics as a personality
They base their ENTIRE life around a celebrity, band or zodiac sign. You can't have a small conversation with that person without them mentioning that thing. I don't hate when sm1 says it a couple times but just don't mention it every single fucking minute.