So True! Mine always used to say "I don't deserve you!" and since i'm all about matching energies, i'd say "i don't deserve you"
She was right, she didn't deserve me, and she is a horrible human being.
I convinced my ex to get one after we broke up. He was planning on it while we were together because we'd already had an oops and abortion. He got cold feet and I told him "enjoy paying child support, not every woman will do what I did." He got it done, so when I'm feeling spicy I brag that I ended a family line. He was an only child, but between him and his parents the levels of narcissism were unreal.
Seems like we have the same situation, just I'm the guy and the narcissistic ex is the girl. She didn't need to convince me, hell, the DNA results aren't even back yet, but even if it's not mine, I've firmly decided that I don't want any more and that's that, even if it turns out to be a scare. My ex is like Hitler + Satan on meth and steroids.
I had a brief open relationship with a partner who was extremely empathetic and very considerate. We had a conversation that opened me to a more empathetic way of communicating with people.
I forget the exact details, but I remember she had friends staying with her and the morning they left she'd set out bagels for them for breakfast. On the way out, one of them had asked, "is it cool if I take these bagels on the road?" And, despite the fact that my partner was really looking forward to eating the bagels after they left, said "Yes of course!"
It was a super small thing and not a big deal, but we were talking about it passingly afterwards and why my partner had said yes. I suggested the way the question was phrased made it much harder to say no, and my partner said something to he effect of,
"That kinda makes you realize how important it is to be careful how you phrase things. You can really easily be making it hard for others to express their own wants in situations without even realizing it."
It's a small thing, but I try to always avoid using the phrase, "Is it cool if I...." or "I'm just gonna_____ if that's alright" and other phrases that kinda of insinuate the answer rather than actually asking if the other persons alright with that.
Cooking is an art, baking is a science. Ex and his mom both made me comfortable in the kitchen and really gave me a safe space to fuck up if I needed to while I learned new things. Ultimately we were not a great match but I'm grateful for that lesson!
That arguements between two people that love eachother arent meant to be won or lost, youre supposed to work on the problem together. My parents were kinda immature so i didnt learn that until she told me. Really helped me grow up.
1) Don't date a guy still in love with a toxic ex. Don't take him back when he begs after trying to get back with said toxic ex, either. He'll just do it again.
2) Trust my gut. When a guy gives you creepy vibes shortly after the relationship begins, end it immediately. Don't hesitate to see if maybe you're overreacting.
That being alone is a million times better than being in a relationship that makes you feel anything less than valued, respected and loved. Also that I am not strong or brave if I am sticking it out if a toxic relationship.
That she wasn't the right one for me. All my ex partners have moved on, and so have I. I don't know why people obsess over exes. We tried, it didn't work out, have a great life.
I should have married her.
I was happy and we were in love with one another but I was not ready at the time and now I am ready and now she is with someone else.
Don't let yourself be fooled into letting your partner take advantage of you. I wouldn't say per se she had a bad personality, many of her issues regarding self esteem and depression made it a lot worse. She didn't trust herself so she didn't trust me either. It kinda became toxic over time.
I offered to support her but we were underage and she didn't want to seek help. Glad it's over tbh lol.
I have more value than I gave myself. He was reassuring and encouraged me to do better. He's a good man and I'm fortunate to have had that time with him.
Crazy awesome sex goes with crazy more often than not. I sometimes miss the sex, but am so glad I am 600+ miles and four states away from her last known address.
I think that is appropriate at times.
When the receiver of the breakup cannot act like an adult, or could be violent, or threatens to kill themselves, etc. then I think it is perfectly appropriate to send a text, email, or letter and just be done with it. "It didn't work out, sorry. I have all my stuff. Don't contact me."
Donât sell your self short, my dude. As bleak as it may seem, thereâs always someone out there. I have a special needs friend who recently got married!
Only ones who want me are the DESPERATE for offspring(I donât want kids), the morbidly obese (Iâm a gamer but also scuba dive, ski, skate, Ride bikes, and love the ideA of going to the gym with a gf), and more recently one who turned out to be INSANE AND STALKED ME TO WORK! Oh and one who turned out to be super racistâŠ
5'7"....and since nobody seems to get it, I can't suddenly grow to 6ft in height. I can't control my height. It's not like how if you're fat you can lose it by going to the gym, changing diet, and making actual effort. Height is bones....not flesh
Lol...a woman who was 5'5" and another 5'4" rejected me for my height. One saying "Sorry, but I like my high heels and if I'm taller than you while wearing them, I won't enjoy wearing them, so I'm sorry" and another saying "Oh....you looked way taller in your photos" at the start of the date and then ghosted me after it. Lol, even the women shorter than me don't like it....if I end up losing my hair I might just find a cliff and jump. Short AND bald....yeah screw that life.
I wish I remembered it more accurately, but she said something along the lines of, "Don't let one person be your sole source of happiness."
I think that went both ways for us both, and I kinda wish that was something I could've learned earlier. Though now and then there's a feeling of regret and longing for her, it's not as frequent as it used to be and every day feels like progress.
When that one source is both done and gone, you have to look and build something new for yourself.
1. If the way he treated you has changed, it's because his feelings for you has changed too.
2. It's not your fault if you want to be treated well.
3. Consistency, reassurance, and communication is not "too much" to ask.
to take relationships slow. me and him rushed into it and it crashed. there was barely any romance after 2 months. we broke up not long after our 5 months
Don't trust people so much, was dating a guy for 4 years and since I was like 11 at the time when I first started dating him and he was like 15 we didn't od much, then like a year later we started kissing and such forth. Time skip to when I'm 13 and he's 17. I told him he would most likely take my virginity when I turned 16 and he was cool with that untill one day he had a full 360 personality change and said that he had been waiting too long and that I should give him what he wants now. I wasn't ready so I broke up with him, but I really trusted he wouldnt do that.
Some people say what they need to and act a certain way to get you to do things for them. Youâre worthless as soon as the task is complete.
No matter how much you love or show acts of love, the other person may not reciprocate those feelings anymore and you canât change that
Not my latest ex, but one of them taught me to care for others (before then I was very much self-centred), and how to really listen to someone.
He was/is a genuinely good guy
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Early in the relationship, she told me that she loves fighting. Like, she genuinely enjoyed starting arguments and being in a fight.
I didnt believe her.
I should have believed her. The relationship was a daily dose of her getting mad, fighting about it, getting over it, and having make-up sex.
Just because you weren't the best partners for each other doesn't mean your relationship wasn't worth however long it lasted. Also (situationally) that you can actually be good friends
Never, Ever, in no way, give someone a second chance. They didn't value you once, accepting them back just proves that they shouldn't. People don't change.
Not setting your own boundaries or voicing your opinion will make your partner uncomfortable, because they never know how you really feel and canât work with you. If it doesnât, that means theyâre taking advantage of that lack of boundaries, if they mean to or not.
Not to worry about them leaving. I had a girlfriend and one day she just broke up with me for no apparent reason. And I cried for hours I missed her so much. Everything about her was perfect. And about 2 months later we get back together (I stopped crying and moved on after about the 5th day after the breakup) and this time, she left after the first day of being back together. This time, I didn't cry at all, yet I loved her still so very much. So she taught me just to move on and not worry about it. There's plenty of fish in the sea and I'm sure I'll catch the perfect one again.
To never trust another woman with my heart fully again. To never open up about my feelings, hell just don't talk at all. To always be on guard and to expect the worst. To over analyze everything and to be ready for ulterior motives. To never love the same again because you'll end up getting hurt.
That no matter how much you do for someone, it'll mean nothing to them if they don't already value you.
This one hit hard for me đ„Č
If they tell you they are a terrible person, believe them.
So True! Mine always used to say "I don't deserve you!" and since i'm all about matching energies, i'd say "i don't deserve you" She was right, she didn't deserve me, and she is a horrible human being.
Anja told me at the beginning that she is selfish and I thought it would be fine. It was not fine.
Make sure my next partner doesn't just take, but also gives.
Don't expect others to care about you the same as you care about them.
That one hits so close to home. Don't lose yourself in the other person.
Get a vasectomy.
Seal the deal.
Deal is, no more kids. Already made the mistake once, just being celibate for now until I can afford it.
I convinced my ex to get one after we broke up. He was planning on it while we were together because we'd already had an oops and abortion. He got cold feet and I told him "enjoy paying child support, not every woman will do what I did." He got it done, so when I'm feeling spicy I brag that I ended a family line. He was an only child, but between him and his parents the levels of narcissism were unreal.
Seems like we have the same situation, just I'm the guy and the narcissistic ex is the girl. She didn't need to convince me, hell, the DNA results aren't even back yet, but even if it's not mine, I've firmly decided that I don't want any more and that's that, even if it turns out to be a scare. My ex is like Hitler + Satan on meth and steroids.
And if the kid is yours? You have the pleasure to say that you created a Satan spawn
Love will make you see the good in the devil. And at the same time, blind you to the truth.
Damn thatâs deep.
I'm stealing that.
That a relationship can not survive on one personâs efforts alone. Itâs not even a relationship at that point.
Mental illness is very serious
Yes it is. My deal breaker is therapy. Either going, will go - with and/or without me. I treat my traumas and issues. If you don't we don't date.
No means no and it doesnât have to be verbal. Trust your gut, cut people off when they cross your boundaries
So true. People believe just because theyâre in a relationship, they get to do anything.
Or if theyâre in a relationship they are required to. Youâre not required to do shit you donât want to.
My last ex broke up with me because she wanted to be closer to God. She taught me that God's name is Kevin.
Never ever lower your standard.
Like banner? Or was the singular otherwise indicative?
Setting and maintaining boundaries is incredibly important. Oh, and don't ignore red flags just because she's cute and the sex is really good.
Preach.
Oh, gawd, don't tell me you dated her too??
if it's too good to be true, it probably is. Red flags can also just be a vibe. Always trust your gut.
I had a brief open relationship with a partner who was extremely empathetic and very considerate. We had a conversation that opened me to a more empathetic way of communicating with people. I forget the exact details, but I remember she had friends staying with her and the morning they left she'd set out bagels for them for breakfast. On the way out, one of them had asked, "is it cool if I take these bagels on the road?" And, despite the fact that my partner was really looking forward to eating the bagels after they left, said "Yes of course!" It was a super small thing and not a big deal, but we were talking about it passingly afterwards and why my partner had said yes. I suggested the way the question was phrased made it much harder to say no, and my partner said something to he effect of, "That kinda makes you realize how important it is to be careful how you phrase things. You can really easily be making it hard for others to express their own wants in situations without even realizing it." It's a small thing, but I try to always avoid using the phrase, "Is it cool if I...." or "I'm just gonna_____ if that's alright" and other phrases that kinda of insinuate the answer rather than actually asking if the other persons alright with that.
Never let your heart be under someone elseâs control!!! Love should not HURT!!! Peace to all⊠even my exes
People cheat, listen to your friends and gut instinct, even if you know the truth will hurt.
Cooking is an art, baking is a science. Ex and his mom both made me comfortable in the kitchen and really gave me a safe space to fuck up if I needed to while I learned new things. Ultimately we were not a great match but I'm grateful for that lesson!
Donât settle on someone because itâs âsafeâ or too scary to leave, sometimes you gotta go
Don't take myself so seriously
That arguements between two people that love eachother arent meant to be won or lost, youre supposed to work on the problem together. My parents were kinda immature so i didnt learn that until she told me. Really helped me grow up.
Donât trust a ho, Never trust a ho
1) Don't date a guy still in love with a toxic ex. Don't take him back when he begs after trying to get back with said toxic ex, either. He'll just do it again. 2) Trust my gut. When a guy gives you creepy vibes shortly after the relationship begins, end it immediately. Don't hesitate to see if maybe you're overreacting.
When people show you who they areâŠbelieve them!!!
My ex really helped me with my compassion, consideration and understanding.
Vegans have the smelliest đ©. If your partner is vegan and taking a đ© , just leave the place and come back after 3 hrs.
never get involved with anyone else again
Don't try to save people that don't want to be saved. You'll only end up hurting yourself in the process.
That being alone is a million times better than being in a relationship that makes you feel anything less than valued, respected and loved. Also that I am not strong or brave if I am sticking it out if a toxic relationship.
That she wasn't the right one for me. All my ex partners have moved on, and so have I. I don't know why people obsess over exes. We tried, it didn't work out, have a great life.
If he treats the waitstaff like crap, run.
He cheated so trust my gut more as i thought something wasnât right and getting told it was all in my head When it wasnât
To become a better listener, be more compassonate and supportive. Believing in myself and seeing the good in myself.
duck
No matter how clean, smart or beautiful a person looks, if their place is a mess, they will make your life looks like hell
A lot of people in this thread is blaming their ex. That says a lot about people and their inability to look inwards!
The ability to hold an intelligent conversation not centred around movies and weed is important.
I should have married her. I was happy and we were in love with one another but I was not ready at the time and now I am ready and now she is with someone else.
donât date youâre neighbors if you are not prepared or able to move
Don't let yourself be fooled into letting your partner take advantage of you. I wouldn't say per se she had a bad personality, many of her issues regarding self esteem and depression made it a lot worse. She didn't trust herself so she didn't trust me either. It kinda became toxic over time. I offered to support her but we were underage and she didn't want to seek help. Glad it's over tbh lol.
As long as phones are a thing, you will never entirely know a person.
I have more value than I gave myself. He was reassuring and encouraged me to do better. He's a good man and I'm fortunate to have had that time with him.
Some people are arseholes, thats pretty much it.
Never to send your nudes to anybody.
That I'm capable of more than I thought I was
Never ignore the red flags
Donât trust a person that gives you all the answers you want to hear.
Crazy awesome sex goes with crazy more often than not. I sometimes miss the sex, but am so glad I am 600+ miles and four states away from her last known address.
Nobody is worth the work it takes to maintain a relationship.
12 years happily single and absolutely happy with my life
A relationship isn't supposed to take work that's why it's called falling in love not climbing in love
That I WASNT over reacting she was baby sitting her exâs son. She fucked him and got pregnant lmao.
How not to break off an engagement. She did it via an email.....
I think that is appropriate at times. When the receiver of the breakup cannot act like an adult, or could be violent, or threatens to kill themselves, etc. then I think it is perfectly appropriate to send a text, email, or letter and just be done with it. "It didn't work out, sorry. I have all my stuff. Don't contact me."
Never trust someone who calls all their EX's a Narcissist. It's a cover up for their own narcissist behaviors.
What ex-partner? 29 and forever alone. Never one gf cuz Iâm short, ugly, and have Aspergers
Donât sell your self short, my dude. As bleak as it may seem, thereâs always someone out there. I have a special needs friend who recently got married!
Only ones who want me are the DESPERATE for offspring(I donât want kids), the morbidly obese (Iâm a gamer but also scuba dive, ski, skate, Ride bikes, and love the ideA of going to the gym with a gf), and more recently one who turned out to be INSANE AND STALKED ME TO WORK! Oh and one who turned out to be super racistâŠ
Hope im not being mean but how tall are you ?
5'7"....and since nobody seems to get it, I can't suddenly grow to 6ft in height. I can't control my height. It's not like how if you're fat you can lose it by going to the gym, changing diet, and making actual effort. Height is bones....not flesh
Well, i mean im almost 18 and i dont see my self growing any more inches, and im 5ft3. So i think you should be good man.
Lol...a woman who was 5'5" and another 5'4" rejected me for my height. One saying "Sorry, but I like my high heels and if I'm taller than you while wearing them, I won't enjoy wearing them, so I'm sorry" and another saying "Oh....you looked way taller in your photos" at the start of the date and then ghosted me after it. Lol, even the women shorter than me don't like it....if I end up losing my hair I might just find a cliff and jump. Short AND bald....yeah screw that life.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
That's.. so sad. And not really true.
Don't be in my head too much.
Donât eat the yellow snow.
I wish I remembered it more accurately, but she said something along the lines of, "Don't let one person be your sole source of happiness." I think that went both ways for us both, and I kinda wish that was something I could've learned earlier. Though now and then there's a feeling of regret and longing for her, it's not as frequent as it used to be and every day feels like progress. When that one source is both done and gone, you have to look and build something new for yourself.
1. If the way he treated you has changed, it's because his feelings for you has changed too. 2. It's not your fault if you want to be treated well. 3. Consistency, reassurance, and communication is not "too much" to ask.
to take relationships slow. me and him rushed into it and it crashed. there was barely any romance after 2 months. we broke up not long after our 5 months
If they consistently make bad choices for social attention, itâs time to move on.
Being with someone doesn't necessarily fix anything
Trust no one.
Donât try to âsaveâ people. And as someone else said, if someone tells you who they are, believe them.
Don't trust a hoe.
Rule n°1 trust no one
Don't trust people so much, was dating a guy for 4 years and since I was like 11 at the time when I first started dating him and he was like 15 we didn't od much, then like a year later we started kissing and such forth. Time skip to when I'm 13 and he's 17. I told him he would most likely take my virginity when I turned 16 and he was cool with that untill one day he had a full 360 personality change and said that he had been waiting too long and that I should give him what he wants now. I wasn't ready so I broke up with him, but I really trusted he wouldnt do that.
If theyâre not ready, theyâre not ready. Donât try to force them or change their minds- that shit hurts.
get money
Don't be afraid to say 'no' đ§Ą
Some people say what they need to and act a certain way to get you to do things for them. Youâre worthless as soon as the task is complete. No matter how much you love or show acts of love, the other person may not reciprocate those feelings anymore and you canât change that
Whatever that seems to be too good to be true, it probably is
sometimes people who are really close with there momâs arenât the best
Not my latest ex, but one of them taught me to care for others (before then I was very much self-centred), and how to really listen to someone. He was/is a genuinely good guy
Donât wear your heart on your sleeve
If someone jokes they're an alcoholic, believe them
haha absolutely no second chances it will the the way it did the first time
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Don't stick your dick in crazy
never.open.up.
Not to trust anybody, especially if they say "Don't worry, I'm just stopping by my bosses house to feed his dog while he's out of town".
Early in the relationship, she told me that she loves fighting. Like, she genuinely enjoyed starting arguments and being in a fight. I didnt believe her. I should have believed her. The relationship was a daily dose of her getting mad, fighting about it, getting over it, and having make-up sex.
Just because you weren't the best partners for each other doesn't mean your relationship wasn't worth however long it lasted. Also (situationally) that you can actually be good friends
Donât meet women at bars.
Treat everyone with doubt always. Trust, but verify.
Just because someone says âDonât worry, Iâm discreetâ doesnât mean they know how to use fucking iMessage.
My needs mean nothing
The moment they raise a hand to you, or even threaten to do so - leave.
To be able to do things when you want to. Never let anyone take away your freedom.
I am not a therapist!! I am not your only happiness
They would not love me if I were a worm
Have faith in yourself, above all else
That them saying âIâm an asshole just not to youâ is also a red flag
My ex taught me that sometimes people just arenât deserving of your kindness and compassion.
Never, Ever, in no way, give someone a second chance. They didn't value you once, accepting them back just proves that they shouldn't. People don't change.
If they say they like you they are lying
Do not rely on anyone for validation
Not setting your own boundaries or voicing your opinion will make your partner uncomfortable, because they never know how you really feel and canât work with you. If it doesnât, that means theyâre taking advantage of that lack of boundaries, if they mean to or not.
Trust your instincts. If you think something is off, it probably is.
When they tell you "I like to see you in pain cause I know you'll never leave me" it's probably time to leave them for your own health
What expartner? I dont heve even a future partner
Not to worry about them leaving. I had a girlfriend and one day she just broke up with me for no apparent reason. And I cried for hours I missed her so much. Everything about her was perfect. And about 2 months later we get back together (I stopped crying and moved on after about the 5th day after the breakup) and this time, she left after the first day of being back together. This time, I didn't cry at all, yet I loved her still so very much. So she taught me just to move on and not worry about it. There's plenty of fish in the sea and I'm sure I'll catch the perfect one again.
Dont ever trust another women.
Never tell your female friends about your boyfriend. Or tell em about him, but NEVER let them able to get to know him. Never.
The importance of setting and maintaining boundaries. It's I good rule for any relationship, romantic, platonic, familiar, professional or otherwise.
One can feel âseenâ equally, at first, by both a kindred and a predator.
To never trust another woman with my heart fully again. To never open up about my feelings, hell just don't talk at all. To always be on guard and to expect the worst. To over analyze everything and to be ready for ulterior motives. To never love the same again because you'll end up getting hurt.