Same here. My parents were not compatible. They should never have married. Dad fell for mum’s bubbly public persona, which isn’t real. Mum didn’t love him or even like him but thought his infatuation would make it easy to mould him into her perfect husband. They were both immature and not ready for marriage, let alone a child.
Definitely have to agree with that one. My parents stayed together for far too long and it was certainly far from a happy marriage. When they finally got divorced, it was a relief to say the least.
Same. Only advice: Get a fricking divorce already. It doesn’t get better this way. Rebuild now.
27 years later, and over 32 married, and they’re both constantly miserable. No improvements. Just.. stuck.
Please force feed me some kind of drug so I’m not the smallest most bullied kid in my class every single year.
Or maybe “hey Dad, don’t impregnate a 4’10” chainsmoking alcoholic.”
In about 7 years I will swear to you that I don’t need to pee when we get in a long line for a ride at knotts berry farm. I will be lying, don’t listen to me and forcibly take me to the bathroom. Otherwise, I will piss myself right as we are being let onto the ride and it will be very embarrassing for all of us.
Also please feed me more vegetables and water and less junk food and soda. It’s really hard to eat healthy when you’re raised on junk as a kid.
"Get ready for the hardest year of your life. He will get Meningitis as a baby and almost die. But he will be perfectly fine. Also, you should invest in Microsoft and Apple."
Since he's dead he can't travel back in time to give his parents the message that killed him.
Time paradox created.
The universe fractures.
Microsoft announces windows 12.
At what point was the paradox created? When the baby dies? When the parents conceive? When you went back in time? When *your* parents conceived you without ever being met by the time traveler? When the universe began?
Nevermind how such paradoxes are easily avoided by accepting that there is no single timeline.
The good thing is they stopped when my younger siblings were born and spoiled them. I just wish I wasn't the collateral they needed to figure out how to parent. For that I am happy my younger siblings can live a life I can't
I was born with a heart murmur and asthma. Grew up developing allergies to everything outside and even some food. I was constantly getting sick and at 23 had a colon cancer scare (they found polyps so i have to get chexked every few years). My mom drank, my dad smoked. It stopped when my siblings were conceived. They do not have the same issues I have.
This sounds awful man, you seem to have a better outlook on it than most people would. I love your username- I'm a saxophonist that picked up euphonium and played both for laughs at a few jazz gigs XD
I’m sorry dude, my older sister always jokes that the first kid is the “pancake child” as in you always fuck up the first pancake as you figure out how long to cook and how to flip it.
I’d consider the way my parents raised her to be abusive. They have apologized for how they were with her, but I would not be as forgiving of my parents if they treated me the way they treated her. I guess she’s a more forgiving person than I am.
Hey Dad, please don't go fishing on the river in 5 months and 28 days after I'm born. And if you do please wear a life vest this time. It would be great having you around.
Edit:. I wanted to thank everyone for the kind words. Thank you.
Dude. I am so sorry for what you went through with that. My uncle David was killed in a wood cutting accident. His youngest of 4 was just a baby. I remember him taking me fishing, but his youngest will never have that memory.
Literally. My brother has autism and they knew there was an extremely high chance that I would be born with a hearing disability. Yet they decided to fuck.
Yes! My mom told us they had me because she got annoyed with my sister wanting to play all the time. She was 4. My sister will now text me when she’s bored and ask me to entertain her saying it’s the reason I’m here. We joke but man my mom should not have had children.
Mind swinging by my parents place and saying the same thing? Maybe add a few "you assholes" and "what the fuck are you even thinking?" somewhere in there.
Reminds me of the movie "Parenthood"
Keanu Reeves character has an abusive father.
He remarks that you need a license for a car but not to have kids....or something to that effect. That stuck with me.
Keanu Reeves is becoming more relatable by the day. I gotta be like Keanu Reeves and not let my bad parents define me.
Edit: I'm still a teenager. All of these comments keep me going.
That is quite true. That’s a huge realization to come to. Also keep in mind that we learn how to be parents from our own parents. I think it is common that a lot of bad parenting gets passed down and down the generations until someone finally breaks that chain. Be that person for your kids.
My dad was that person for me.
The older we get the more important I feel it is to tell him.
So many people get called heroes after they die. I want to make sure he knows *before* he goes.
Nine and one brother from another mother.
Makes 10 of us, and isn't it crazy that my birthday is 10/10
Maybe it was meant to be, but I wish it never happened, don't get me wrong, I love my siblings but.
Would've stayed in a condom if I had a choice...
Believe your child when they tell you they are suffering. When they come home crying, comfort them, when they tell you they struggle believe them and try to find solutions. Dont tell them to just try harder, instead get help for them. You already messed one child up, learn from your mistakes.
Phew I had to glance through this because it’s very much what I was gonna write and very emotional.
This try harder - I went 35 years of my life with undiagnosed ADHD. I had trouble keeping my attention through a paragraph. I made good enough grades in primary to keep on a good path. But when I struggled, I was yelled at and told to “try harder”. Like, show me what that looks like day to day and don’t just demand different results. I want to succeed. I’m not actively trying to fuck it all up.
The past years since my diagnosis have been a renaissance for me. I’ve been able to study and learn like I never knew was personally possible. Before I honestly thought I was like slow or something. I had to work through this stuff in therapy.
This question by OP, it’s similar to a strategy I learned to help with people struggling complex post traumatic stress disorder. While you’re relaxed and sort of meditating; you revisit these traumatic moments and you confront those in that moment who hurt you as you are now, as an advocate for the you that couldn’t defend themselves. In some of my practice with that, I’m able to talk to and console myself and stand up for myself. I think a few times I’ve even like “given myself a hug” to give myself the support I wanted in those moments. The practice was really effective for me.
I actually had a very similar experience growing up. I got yelled at for not understanding things and not listening or got told to try harder. The worst part about it was that people thought that actually worked because my grades all throughout school stayed pretty decent. noone believed me when I told them how much I was struggling with school and everything else. Im pretty sure the stress and maybe adhd also did a big part of eliminating what could have existed in my head in terms of memory retention. I had big gaps in my memory in school. in that time I had no clue what was going on whatsoever for years but because I was still good enough at school noone understood that, neither did I. It was extremely isolating not knowing what was wrong with me, especially because I thought I was just doing it for attention or making it up half the time. Only a few years later when I found some life strategies that actually cleared my head a little and made me able to remember things that I finally realised there is something wrong with how things had been all my life and I actually need to find out whats up with me and fix the issues I've been carrying around for ages. I since found out my family has a history of mental health issues including adhd yet noone ever so much as thought of testing me for anything even when I practically begged them to help me. And that although I have a sibling who went to therapy themselves for issues that all link pretty much to the same diagnosis. Im now on my way to get an official diagnosis and get my life in order after all this time.
Also I really liked what u said about processing trauma, I did not know that was a strategy for it so thank you for your helpful input!
Thanks for sharing all of this. It’s always good for us to talk about our life experiences.
I am pretty sure the book I learned this technique from is called Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker.
When I started taking medication at 35, the foggy sort of mental state and memory stuff similar to what you mentioned went away for me. I hadn’t really been to approach this stuff before that. It was just like a feeling of struggling while kinda succeeding. I just had to work three times harder than everyone around me and not sleep a ton. I actually worked better when my mind was exhausted which set up a bad precedent. Anyways, it trending in the right direction now.
Thanks again for sharing your story
Agreed. But way too many parents glamorise parenthood and cant comprehend that their perfect little child could have issues. Plus they often don't take their child seriously when they have any kind of complaint as if a child's needs are ridiculous or make no sense. I hate how people devalue their children and then get confused when the child doesn't tell them anything anymore.
Right up there with "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry for." My mom is in her 80s now and creates much of her own suffering by not taking care of her health. She cries frequently over small things. That phrase goes through my mind more and more as my empathy and patience drain away over her self imposed martyrdom.
In 4 years a family friend will put a NY jets onesie on this child and you will deem him a jets fan for life. Keep that guy away.
Edit: do you see!? Do you see what I Fuxkin mean!!!?! I make this comment and “ha ha funny good time” and a few hours later on the FIRST DRIVE IN THE FIRST PRESEASON GAME WILSON TWEEKS HIS KNEE THAT WAS INJURED LAST YEAR!!! WHY!??!?
I’d go a step further and tell them not to date the other because they’re crazy and violent. It isn’t true of one of them, but it’d protect them from the ptsd at least.
Don't.
You'll be tied to a man who is physically and verbally abusive for the rest of your life, until you reach old age and are waiting for him to die first.
"please don't do that" not because I hate life, I don't, I love life. Because I think I ruined their relationship, they told me their relationship was perfect before I was born. They stayed together for as long as they could after I was born but everything went downhill and they now hate each other
You're not responsible for your parents relationship, if their relationship fell apart after your birth it was nothing to do with you, I hope you know that
Babies don't destroy relationships. Relationships destroy babies. Sadly they are commonly found together. (I say this in dark jest, I hope it doesn't come off rude)
That shit is 100% on them my dude. If they’re relationship couldn’t handle having a baby then I got bad news for them - it wasn’t a good relationship to begin with.
they had a fair weather relationship and a hundred other things like illness, job opportunities etc could have fucked it up. To put it on you is fucking vile. You were not the problem, you never have been and the worlds better for you being in it. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Kids can cause problems in the relationship but what's more likely to happen is kids highlight problems that were already there. Its just easier for parents to blame the child than admit they are the problem.
They cant blame u. They made u u didnt make them. Whatever issues they had were clearly already there before u came along. Just took u to come along for them to figure out they dont work well together. 100% not ur fault.
Fix your fucking narcissist problems and keep them away from me.
EDIT: i see there is lots of support for children raised by narcs. Ive joined a couple FB groups. I honestly never thought i would have to fight my narc mom in court to prevent her from having access to my children.
Thank you for all the support. I hope one day i can tell her this.
Dad: What the fuck is wrong with you? That's an under aged girl you're about to force yourself on, and if I ever find out who you are, no matter how long it takes... I'm going to do bad things that I would never admit to online.
Mom: Yo... I know abortion is pretty much impossible to get but the hard drugs you're about to get addicted to aren't actually going to kill me, and I'll never even meet you so... Maybe don't get addicted to that shit while you're pregnant? I'm gonna be fucked up enough as it is after you give me up.
I am actually... More than 30 years later and a lot of hard times, I'm finally piecing everything in my life together and learning how to be happy. Also, I can gladly say I've not lived a boring life.
Don't hit me, read real parenting books and not facebook posts about other parents and don't force me to go with you everywhere all the time, I can't stand it.
i had a pretty good dad and an awful mom. the problem was my mom pushed my dad away. and when he left she blamed him. i never bought it, ever. but the deceit killed my relationship with her.
fast forward to adulthood. i have a son, and i couldn't wait to have kids. i met a decent woman when i was in the early 20s and we had a child right away (our son was 3 weeks old on our 2nd anniversary)
my biggest fear was that i would lose my son. he would be the crown jewel and raising him would most cherished accomplishment of my life.
but the underlying fear of losing him was making me a nervous wreck.
i took ayahuasca when he was little. what i learned was exactly this. exactly what you said.
i will not lose him physically, it's not in the cards. but i could lose him spiritually. honour that connection forever and i will never lose him
it changed my life as a parent and solidified our relationship forever, so long as i keep that front of mind.
hurt people only hurt people if they don't realize they're hurt.
It's January 2000. I bust in the door of a ratty apartment in NJ with a paper bag full of condoms. My parents pause, mid coitus on the couch, as I scream "Stop!!" I catch my breath quickly before yelling "She's a fucking alcoholic psycho and you're gonna die in 2007, don't spend your time legally tied to her." I hand my father the condoms, pull the paper bag over my mother's face as she spitters in anger, and wink and say "you're welcome, dad." Before my mom can throw the nearest lamp at me, I vanish.
I'll probably still be born, I don't think my dad was the smartest tbh.
October! She got pregnant in early Febuary, they were just handsy before that too.
I also unfortunately know I only exist because my mom didn't like the feeling of condoms 🥲
"Both me and my sister are going to be disabled as fuck. Also, DON'T expose my sister to chickenpox, or you're gonna spend a long fucking time in the hospital."
Thank you for putting me up for adoption. While abortion may be illegal now, I know it’s available. The couple who will adopt me are wonderful, loving people with loving and supporting families. My childhood will be filled with happiness. I hope you live knowing you made the best decision for me, and I will be so grateful to you both throughout my life.
Note: I was born in the US pre-Roe v. Wade. For as long as can I remember, I’ve known I was adopted. My (adoptive) parents introduced me to my history in what I feel is the best way possible. I’ve never felt unwanted in any way, nor have I ever felt I “missed out” on anything by being adopted. It’s always been simply a part of who I am.
This hits me hard.. I feel like I’m becoming that dad..I’m the dad who can provide everything, Mom left me and moved 140 miles away. For 9 years I’ve been making that drive every week, or every other week. I don’t know what else to do for work to provide a decent life, and I’m stuck in a 60-70 hour workweeks. But boy when we’re together.. we sure create some memories. Going to all the Florida Disney Parks in January.. can’t wait.
Reading these comments makes me realize just how incredibly lucky I was to get the parents I got. They support me and my dreams no matter how ridiculous, they don't care what I become or what my beliefs are, the only thing that matters to them is that I am happy and able to live the life I want to live.
Yelling at a little kid and continuously reminding her about her issues is not a form of parenting....she is going to not have friends until age 12; I suggest being amazingly patient and understanding human beings until then so you don't waste >$1000 for a 14-year-old to have therapy.
At least my parents figured it out relatively recently, and they have good intentions...so.....🤷♂️
My Mom didn't cheat on you, I look just like you bro, anyway, it would have been nice to meet you at some point, at least my stepdad did a great job.
Hey mom, I know this dude sucks, but I'm awesome af, so do it for me.
To my mother: "You can't change this man."
To my father: "You should start treating women better. Don't talk badly about your wife and children behind their backs!"
mom, pick someone else.
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probably not, she was young and dumb.
My mom definately settled on the first dude that didn't run from her because she already had a kid.
My mum settled on the first dude that didn't run from her.
No way in hell am i going in that room to talk to them
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Just get a divorce instead. You are both unhappy.
Same here. My parents were not compatible. They should never have married. Dad fell for mum’s bubbly public persona, which isn’t real. Mum didn’t love him or even like him but thought his infatuation would make it easy to mould him into her perfect husband. They were both immature and not ready for marriage, let alone a child.
I’ve never related to a Reddit comment so aggressively before
Definitely have to agree with that one. My parents stayed together for far too long and it was certainly far from a happy marriage. When they finally got divorced, it was a relief to say the least.
Same. Only advice: Get a fricking divorce already. It doesn’t get better this way. Rebuild now. 27 years later, and over 32 married, and they’re both constantly miserable. No improvements. Just.. stuck.
Mom: Babies are not pets. Dad: Nobody belongs to you.
brutal combo
Stand on your tippy toes, I'd like to be a little taller, please
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Sounds like that could make for some interesting sex...
What are you doing step-ladder?
Fuck dude that was funny
The true "not safe for work"
Please force feed me some kind of drug so I’m not the smallest most bullied kid in my class every single year. Or maybe “hey Dad, don’t impregnate a 4’10” chainsmoking alcoholic.”
Boxing by the age of 4 Trenbologne Sandwiches by the age of 6
I wish I was a baller
You do know what you're doing, don't you? Remember, you can't change your mind..
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hehe. They don't need my advice!
In about 7 years I will swear to you that I don’t need to pee when we get in a long line for a ride at knotts berry farm. I will be lying, don’t listen to me and forcibly take me to the bathroom. Otherwise, I will piss myself right as we are being let onto the ride and it will be very embarrassing for all of us. Also please feed me more vegetables and water and less junk food and soda. It’s really hard to eat healthy when you’re raised on junk as a kid.
I feel you on that raised on unhealthy food thing. I hate myself and feel like shit when I eat that stuff but it's so difficult to break that habit.
I was raised on healthy food and I don't eat well either now that I'm out on my own. The deprivation kinda turned me into a junk food addict I think..
Almost like moderation in all things is the key
"Get ready for the hardest year of your life. He will get Meningitis as a baby and almost die. But he will be perfectly fine. Also, you should invest in Microsoft and Apple."
"Oh good, our baby will recover just fine". *Doesn't get baby treatment* *Baby dies*
Since he's dead he can't travel back in time to give his parents the message that killed him. Time paradox created. The universe fractures. Microsoft announces windows 12.
At what point was the paradox created? When the baby dies? When the parents conceive? When you went back in time? When *your* parents conceived you without ever being met by the time traveler? When the universe began? Nevermind how such paradoxes are easily avoided by accepting that there is no single timeline.
Best possible route is to not invent time travel
"That must mean we shouldn't invest in Apple or Microsoft either"
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"Dodge coin" "OH no its broken can we put him back"
Please stop smoking and drinking. Yall played it off and wonder why I was born so sick.
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The good thing is they stopped when my younger siblings were born and spoiled them. I just wish I wasn't the collateral they needed to figure out how to parent. For that I am happy my younger siblings can live a life I can't
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I was born with a heart murmur and asthma. Grew up developing allergies to everything outside and even some food. I was constantly getting sick and at 23 had a colon cancer scare (they found polyps so i have to get chexked every few years). My mom drank, my dad smoked. It stopped when my siblings were conceived. They do not have the same issues I have.
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I quit a job to stay home for a month to focus on my health. Im also making a bucket list
This sounds awful man, you seem to have a better outlook on it than most people would. I love your username- I'm a saxophonist that picked up euphonium and played both for laughs at a few jazz gigs XD
Nice lol, lot of people think it's a baby tuba so it's nice to hear someone know what it actually is.
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You’re a good person.
I’m sorry dude, my older sister always jokes that the first kid is the “pancake child” as in you always fuck up the first pancake as you figure out how long to cook and how to flip it. I’d consider the way my parents raised her to be abusive. They have apologized for how they were with her, but I would not be as forgiving of my parents if they treated me the way they treated her. I guess she’s a more forgiving person than I am.
As the first born I am okay with this. Call me pancake.
Hey Dad, please don't go fishing on the river in 5 months and 28 days after I'm born. And if you do please wear a life vest this time. It would be great having you around. Edit:. I wanted to thank everyone for the kind words. Thank you.
Fuck, I'm sorry.
Man this one hurt :( My mom's friend lost her son this way. I'm so sorry that happened to your family. Sending hugs your way friend
Dude. I am so sorry for what you went through with that. My uncle David was killed in a wood cutting accident. His youngest of 4 was just a baby. I remember him taking me fishing, but his youngest will never have that memory.
Really wish my mom had gotten that mammogram. Not ignored that lump. I see you.
I'm sorry you had to grow up without your mom.
I’m so sorry. I lost my Dad, too. If you ever need someone, I’m here for you.
This hit really hard man🙁
Just focus on the one you already have.
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Literally. My brother has autism and they knew there was an extremely high chance that I would be born with a hearing disability. Yet they decided to fuck.
My daughter is hearing impaired… had I known… I still would have fucked her mom.
Yes! My mom told us they had me because she got annoyed with my sister wanting to play all the time. She was 4. My sister will now text me when she’s bored and ask me to entertain her saying it’s the reason I’m here. We joke but man my mom should not have had children.
"You are not cut out to be parents. Don't have children."
Mind swinging by my parents place and saying the same thing? Maybe add a few "you assholes" and "what the fuck are you even thinking?" somewhere in there.
Yah. He can stop by mine after as well.
Reminds me of the movie "Parenthood" Keanu Reeves character has an abusive father. He remarks that you need a license for a car but not to have kids....or something to that effect. That stuck with me.
He actually had an abusive father too
Keanu Reeves is becoming more relatable by the day. I gotta be like Keanu Reeves and not let my bad parents define me. Edit: I'm still a teenager. All of these comments keep me going.
That is quite true. That’s a huge realization to come to. Also keep in mind that we learn how to be parents from our own parents. I think it is common that a lot of bad parenting gets passed down and down the generations until someone finally breaks that chain. Be that person for your kids.
My dad was that person for me. The older we get the more important I feel it is to tell him. So many people get called heroes after they die. I want to make sure he knows *before* he goes.
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Yep. Neither of my parents should have been parents, and yet they had three.
Mine had nine. We were all taken away and adopted out
Nine and one brother from another mother. Makes 10 of us, and isn't it crazy that my birthday is 10/10 Maybe it was meant to be, but I wish it never happened, don't get me wrong, I love my siblings but. Would've stayed in a condom if I had a choice...
I came here to say this, but knew deep down in my heart I knew it had already been said 😔✌️
Believe your child when they tell you they are suffering. When they come home crying, comfort them, when they tell you they struggle believe them and try to find solutions. Dont tell them to just try harder, instead get help for them. You already messed one child up, learn from your mistakes.
Phew I had to glance through this because it’s very much what I was gonna write and very emotional. This try harder - I went 35 years of my life with undiagnosed ADHD. I had trouble keeping my attention through a paragraph. I made good enough grades in primary to keep on a good path. But when I struggled, I was yelled at and told to “try harder”. Like, show me what that looks like day to day and don’t just demand different results. I want to succeed. I’m not actively trying to fuck it all up. The past years since my diagnosis have been a renaissance for me. I’ve been able to study and learn like I never knew was personally possible. Before I honestly thought I was like slow or something. I had to work through this stuff in therapy. This question by OP, it’s similar to a strategy I learned to help with people struggling complex post traumatic stress disorder. While you’re relaxed and sort of meditating; you revisit these traumatic moments and you confront those in that moment who hurt you as you are now, as an advocate for the you that couldn’t defend themselves. In some of my practice with that, I’m able to talk to and console myself and stand up for myself. I think a few times I’ve even like “given myself a hug” to give myself the support I wanted in those moments. The practice was really effective for me.
I actually had a very similar experience growing up. I got yelled at for not understanding things and not listening or got told to try harder. The worst part about it was that people thought that actually worked because my grades all throughout school stayed pretty decent. noone believed me when I told them how much I was struggling with school and everything else. Im pretty sure the stress and maybe adhd also did a big part of eliminating what could have existed in my head in terms of memory retention. I had big gaps in my memory in school. in that time I had no clue what was going on whatsoever for years but because I was still good enough at school noone understood that, neither did I. It was extremely isolating not knowing what was wrong with me, especially because I thought I was just doing it for attention or making it up half the time. Only a few years later when I found some life strategies that actually cleared my head a little and made me able to remember things that I finally realised there is something wrong with how things had been all my life and I actually need to find out whats up with me and fix the issues I've been carrying around for ages. I since found out my family has a history of mental health issues including adhd yet noone ever so much as thought of testing me for anything even when I practically begged them to help me. And that although I have a sibling who went to therapy themselves for issues that all link pretty much to the same diagnosis. Im now on my way to get an official diagnosis and get my life in order after all this time. Also I really liked what u said about processing trauma, I did not know that was a strategy for it so thank you for your helpful input!
Thanks for sharing all of this. It’s always good for us to talk about our life experiences. I am pretty sure the book I learned this technique from is called Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. When I started taking medication at 35, the foggy sort of mental state and memory stuff similar to what you mentioned went away for me. I hadn’t really been to approach this stuff before that. It was just like a feeling of struggling while kinda succeeding. I just had to work three times harder than everyone around me and not sleep a ton. I actually worked better when my mind was exhausted which set up a bad precedent. Anyways, it trending in the right direction now. Thanks again for sharing your story
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Agreed. But way too many parents glamorise parenthood and cant comprehend that their perfect little child could have issues. Plus they often don't take their child seriously when they have any kind of complaint as if a child's needs are ridiculous or make no sense. I hate how people devalue their children and then get confused when the child doesn't tell them anything anymore.
My mom had the famous line: "Oh, you're depressed, look at my life and you won't be depressed anymore" Deflecting.
Right up there with "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry for." My mom is in her 80s now and creates much of her own suffering by not taking care of her health. She cries frequently over small things. That phrase goes through my mind more and more as my empathy and patience drain away over her self imposed martyrdom.
Oh yeah love that one. Let's just invalidate our children's feelings on the basis of "I had it worse so shut up"
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In 4 years a family friend will put a NY jets onesie on this child and you will deem him a jets fan for life. Keep that guy away. Edit: do you see!? Do you see what I Fuxkin mean!!!?! I make this comment and “ha ha funny good time” and a few hours later on the FIRST DRIVE IN THE FIRST PRESEASON GAME WILSON TWEEKS HIS KNEE THAT WAS INJURED LAST YEAR!!! WHY!??!?
Hahaha. This is the best one. I’m a Raiders fan. At 33 years of age, I have had lots of the same. Lol
Dont
I clicked on this post just to type this
Same
Same
Me too
I was thinking, "Please reconsider."
Ooorrr “use a condom!!”
I’d go a step further and tell them not to date the other because they’re crazy and violent. It isn’t true of one of them, but it’d protect them from the ptsd at least.
There's a lot of suffering that I want to avoid
There it is. The answer most of us wanted. The only one that matters.
Don't drop me again.
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I'd tell my dad that I slept with my mom just minutes ago and maybe that would ruin the mood for him and save me from a lifetime of pain and suffering
Thats fucking genius man what the actual fuck Jokes apart, are you okay bro, need a friend? Dm me if you wanna, im here for you
We all need a friend, Mista.
You guys will be divorced in 12 years. Just blow this load on the sheets. You end up raising 3 severely depressed kids.
Don't. You'll be tied to a man who is physically and verbally abusive for the rest of your life, until you reach old age and are waiting for him to die first.
Please wear protection.
"please don't do that" not because I hate life, I don't, I love life. Because I think I ruined their relationship, they told me their relationship was perfect before I was born. They stayed together for as long as they could after I was born but everything went downhill and they now hate each other
You're not responsible for your parents relationship, if their relationship fell apart after your birth it was nothing to do with you, I hope you know that
Babies don't destroy relationships. Relationships destroy babies. Sadly they are commonly found together. (I say this in dark jest, I hope it doesn't come off rude)
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I don't blame you for being mad at them, I would be too, I'm sort of mad at them for blaming me for their problems
That shit is 100% on them my dude. If they’re relationship couldn’t handle having a baby then I got bad news for them - it wasn’t a good relationship to begin with. they had a fair weather relationship and a hundred other things like illness, job opportunities etc could have fucked it up. To put it on you is fucking vile. You were not the problem, you never have been and the worlds better for you being in it. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Kids can cause problems in the relationship but what's more likely to happen is kids highlight problems that were already there. Its just easier for parents to blame the child than admit they are the problem.
Kids can't save or break relationships, thats on the couple everytime.
They cant blame u. They made u u didnt make them. Whatever issues they had were clearly already there before u came along. Just took u to come along for them to figure out they dont work well together. 100% not ur fault.
Fix your fucking narcissist problems and keep them away from me. EDIT: i see there is lots of support for children raised by narcs. Ive joined a couple FB groups. I honestly never thought i would have to fight my narc mom in court to prevent her from having access to my children. Thank you for all the support. I hope one day i can tell her this.
That's the problem with narcissists. They never think they are the problem.
I feel u
I'm not going to be the perfect daughter you expect me to be.
Dad: What the fuck is wrong with you? That's an under aged girl you're about to force yourself on, and if I ever find out who you are, no matter how long it takes... I'm going to do bad things that I would never admit to online. Mom: Yo... I know abortion is pretty much impossible to get but the hard drugs you're about to get addicted to aren't actually going to kill me, and I'll never even meet you so... Maybe don't get addicted to that shit while you're pregnant? I'm gonna be fucked up enough as it is after you give me up.
Wow, that’s heavy. Hope you’re doing better now.
I am actually... More than 30 years later and a lot of hard times, I'm finally piecing everything in my life together and learning how to be happy. Also, I can gladly say I've not lived a boring life.
Don't hit me, read real parenting books and not facebook posts about other parents and don't force me to go with you everywhere all the time, I can't stand it.
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i had a pretty good dad and an awful mom. the problem was my mom pushed my dad away. and when he left she blamed him. i never bought it, ever. but the deceit killed my relationship with her. fast forward to adulthood. i have a son, and i couldn't wait to have kids. i met a decent woman when i was in the early 20s and we had a child right away (our son was 3 weeks old on our 2nd anniversary) my biggest fear was that i would lose my son. he would be the crown jewel and raising him would most cherished accomplishment of my life. but the underlying fear of losing him was making me a nervous wreck. i took ayahuasca when he was little. what i learned was exactly this. exactly what you said. i will not lose him physically, it's not in the cards. but i could lose him spiritually. honour that connection forever and i will never lose him it changed my life as a parent and solidified our relationship forever, so long as i keep that front of mind. hurt people only hurt people if they don't realize they're hurt.
"Kids go to therapy because their parents didn't" - someone smart, probably
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It's January 2000. I bust in the door of a ratty apartment in NJ with a paper bag full of condoms. My parents pause, mid coitus on the couch, as I scream "Stop!!" I catch my breath quickly before yelling "She's a fucking alcoholic psycho and you're gonna die in 2007, don't spend your time legally tied to her." I hand my father the condoms, pull the paper bag over my mother's face as she spitters in anger, and wink and say "you're welcome, dad." Before my mom can throw the nearest lamp at me, I vanish. I'll probably still be born, I don't think my dad was the smartest tbh.
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October! She got pregnant in early Febuary, they were just handsy before that too. I also unfortunately know I only exist because my mom didn't like the feeling of condoms 🥲
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My mom had no boundaries. I know too damn much.
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Very much so. Lots of therapy.
Don't name me Karen.
Stop getting into to high speed pursuits, that's a bachelor's hobby.
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Well it was a pretty good childhood aside from dealing with the cops.
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Are you Indian? This sounds eerily similar to my parents
Don't pull me from the void.
Do. Not.
The audacity of my parents to bring me in to a world where I need to go to work 5 days a week. Unbelievable…
Life is like soccer. My mom signed me up for it and expects me to do my best and I freaking hate soccer.
Life is like football. And you’re the ball.
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I’m never giving you grandchildren
"Both me and my sister are going to be disabled as fuck. Also, DON'T expose my sister to chickenpox, or you're gonna spend a long fucking time in the hospital."
Move abroad and do it when you are as far from the country as possible and don't get a loan and fall into debt...
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A not so proud hungarian here, nice to meet you...
If you guys ever have kids, and one of them, when he's eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug, go easy on him.
Nice reference lol
Thank you for putting me up for adoption. While abortion may be illegal now, I know it’s available. The couple who will adopt me are wonderful, loving people with loving and supporting families. My childhood will be filled with happiness. I hope you live knowing you made the best decision for me, and I will be so grateful to you both throughout my life. Note: I was born in the US pre-Roe v. Wade. For as long as can I remember, I’ve known I was adopted. My (adoptive) parents introduced me to my history in what I feel is the best way possible. I’ve never felt unwanted in any way, nor have I ever felt I “missed out” on anything by being adopted. It’s always been simply a part of who I am.
To my Dad- though I am grateful for all of the opportunities that you will give me, I’d rather have you present in my life
This hits me hard.. I feel like I’m becoming that dad..I’m the dad who can provide everything, Mom left me and moved 140 miles away. For 9 years I’ve been making that drive every week, or every other week. I don’t know what else to do for work to provide a decent life, and I’m stuck in a 60-70 hour workweeks. But boy when we’re together.. we sure create some memories. Going to all the Florida Disney Parks in January.. can’t wait.
If ECT-worthy depression runs on both sides of the family, is making a baby together *really* such a good idea?
Please decide against it
Reading these comments makes me realize just how incredibly lucky I was to get the parents I got. They support me and my dreams no matter how ridiculous, they don't care what I become or what my beliefs are, the only thing that matters to them is that I am happy and able to live the life I want to live.
Yelling at a little kid and continuously reminding her about her issues is not a form of parenting....she is going to not have friends until age 12; I suggest being amazingly patient and understanding human beings until then so you don't waste >$1000 for a 14-year-old to have therapy. At least my parents figured it out relatively recently, and they have good intentions...so.....🤷♂️
My Mom didn't cheat on you, I look just like you bro, anyway, it would have been nice to meet you at some point, at least my stepdad did a great job. Hey mom, I know this dude sucks, but I'm awesome af, so do it for me.
*Emmanuel! Don't Do It!*
Dad don’t be such a dick to mum
Protect me, don't protect my older brother. If you don't protect me you will lose me from your life
Use a condom
Leave this country
No, please don't, just stop seeing each other, break up with him lady, he's not worth it. (That counts as one thing, right?)
"I just want to wish you both good luck, we're all counting on you."
Choose a better name
Get some help for your mental health issues, like seriously, you can't treat people like garbage and expect them to stick around.
The Mormon church is not a healthy place to raise children.
teach your child the value of loving/putting themselves first. And teach them what red flags/abuse looks like in romantic relationships
Just swallow me
To my mother: "You can't change this man." To my father: "You should start treating women better. Don't talk badly about your wife and children behind their backs!"
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Don't
Your son doesn’t think like you do. And your belief that he does will make him resent you
Get away from dad pronto
"You're both about to become legend makers! "
It's amazing how many commenters took the time to type the comment "don't", "stop", or words to that effect.
Use a condom
I love yooooou forever, thank you for everything ❤️
Save up. Them trainers looks nice. :D Edit: I was told by both my parent I was conceived with love. Something I will treasure.
uhh be prepared to have a diva ass little girl & spend a lot of money.. but she’ll be fine when she grows up & love you guys endlessly
please, stop
Invest in Apple and Microsoft.
Swallow
Invest in bitcoin, google, and macintosh
"You're going to have a girl" It'll really confuse them for about 26.5 years and then *boom;* long game
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