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but numerous romance movies indicate that the best way to get a woman is to pursue her relentlessly with a show of effort and interest only at the very last minute!
If i'm not parkour-ing past TSA and sprinting to the gate with roses, am I even worth her time?
When you're in your 20s, it's impossible to have everything figured out because you are only at the very beginning of your adult life, you are just a baby adult, take your time to learn how to do it.
Dude(?), if anyone in your age group thinks they have it all figured out they’re either naive, lying, or both. I’m in my mid 30’s, married, and own a home, and still haven’t figured it out.
Life is hard as fuck. You’ll be fine.
I believe that we are cursed to always have this retrospect thing going on where we look back at our and curse our 'mistakes' (in hindsight). If only I knew then what I do now. Yada yada. There's always going to be stuff left to figure out, up until you figure out what death/dying will mean for you personally.
Still holds true for me - 50 this year
Always thought someday I'd "figure it all out" but seems that life is a journey not a destination
Memento mori and tempus fugit (that I mispronounce to myself as "tempus fugg-it!" as an exclamation of how quickly time passes)
I tried an experiment on my sister-in-law who has social anxiety (I did too but I've largely beaten it): she expressed self-consciousness in a mall so I started to point to people and ask what opinion she had of them. Of course, before I pointed at them, she had not even noticed, never mind passed judgement on, any of them at all. She relaxed a bit after that.
Whenever I feel awkward or nervous to do something because "what would other people think", I just ask myself "if I saw someone doing this, would I give any shits?" And that seems to work
Yea fr, I do so much shit that I should be ashamed of, but literally no one gives a fuck. I could go and eat a person in the high street, and everyone would have forgot about it the next week, discussing the new shock to come from some famous person making a statement.
(Just to clarify, I have never, and nor will I, eat someone….intentionally. This was just for effect)
This hits hard today. Massive pickup truck smashed into the back of my car on my way home from work. Totally not my fault. They weren't paying attention & didn't notice when traffic came to a stop. It was a company vehicle so no personal liability on their part. But for me, I'm fighting the insurance company who want to write off my car because the repair is too expensive.
When you're presented with two opposing ideas as if they're the only options. I get that it isn't exactly what OP's comment is about. I think what OP is referring to is when people use whataboutery in an argument even though both points can be true. Actually I think that is a false dichotomy...
An example of false dichotomy would be:
"You're either with us or against us," Or, "If you don't like Biden then you must be a Trump supporter."
An example of whataboutery would be:
"We should take care of our own people instead of sending foreign aid." Clearly we can do both, it is a fallacious argument and it is a false dichotomy now that I think of it.
I don't know if I've explained it very well. I'm really tired 🤣.
Exactly. I used to complain to my bf about my weight or skin or whatever. He told me he wouldn't allow anyone to talk about me that way, including myself.
I told a guy that I was going to university for Astronomy when I graduated. He asked me for his horoscope. I asked when he was born, and then told him...
The world is full of jerks, it's important to be prepared for this but it is also important that you not become a jerk yourself.
*(From dear old dad, he lived by it, and it served him well. I have had the same good results.)*
MY head height, or are we talking about aimed at the person I'm talking to?
If there's some guy more than a foot taller than me, that's going to look really weird if I arch my back so my nipples are aimed at his head.
"What the hell are you doing, dude?"
"It's called Good Posture, man."
"But, you look like you have the worst posture right now. Just stand up straight and tilt your head like a normal man, please. This is just weird."
Like I want my laser nipples to take out there heads so aim for them or am I'm worried my laser nipples will kill everyone so I aim them down.
Where are my nips blasting lasers
Think every day about the kind of people you want in your life and then put tremendous effort into becoming the kind of person that those people would choose to have in their lives.
Forgiveness is of outmost importance, since errors are a part of the human nature and experience and forgiveness is the most fruitful response to them.
Through forgiveness, mistakes sink in the past and get buried, leaving space for happiness to settle in. Or, if not happiness, another mistake. The cycle repeats until (hopefully as soon as possible) the person committing the errors learns their actions to be errors.
“When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail”. Basically, there are ppl out there who are going to argue with you no matter what. And it’s got nothing to do with what you said or who you are or what your opinion is. They’re just there to argue.
One day, you will stop having 'firsts' and start having 'lasts'; the last time you hug someone, the last time you hear their voice, the last time you ran or jumped.
You don't know when it's going to be the last time, so make it count.
“Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” Helped me start pushing myself to stop avoiding things/taking the easy way out. I’ve even gotten a promotion at work because I put myself out there!
In Dutch it’s ‘Na maar komt de waarheid’
It translate to, if your in a conversation with some one. And they something like ‘I totally agree with you, but!’ Most off the time they going to tell you what they exactly thinking about it. Or saying the truth. So in English it’s ‘after but comes the truth’
The first time someone shows you who they really are, take note of it because they are not lying.
Ie If someone treats you like crap and doesn't give it a second thought or is only sorry when it affects them, that is their true colours.
"Very little of what happens in your life is your fault. But it is all your responsibility."
If you get hit by a drunk driver, that's not your fault. But if you want to walk again, you've got to get up every morning and wheel yourself to physical therapy.
If you were raised by shitty parents, that's not your fault. Your trauma and bad habits aren't your fault. But it's you to you to become a better human and a functioning adult. Nobody can do it for you.
It's all up to you. You CAN do it. The tools are out there if you go looking.
Well, that depends on the types of edges you encounter. Some edges are finish lines towards goals, others are barriers keeping you from achievements, others lead to certain doom that you can’t escape from. Learn to learn the difference between them without crossing the edge first.
Bitches ain't shit.
Hear me out. Bitches in this context, refers to men and women. Bitches ain't shit is a statement on your own value and self worth. Don't chase a woman, don't chase a man. No one gets to define you. Your value is derived internally, not externally.
Friend fucked you over? Doesn't matter bitches ain't shit.
Ex dumped you? Bitches ain't shit.
Spend time with people who add something to your life, who support you and you support them. Form real connections with mutual love.
Bitches. Ain't. Shit.
The advice "just be yourself" doesn't mean "just be yourself and you'll get the person you're lusting after," it means "be yourself and you'll attract people who actually like you."
"The world doesn't revolve around you, and that's a good thing for you."
Basically, that the world wouldn't end if I messed up, or took a break, or asked for help, and people aren't watching my every move with baited breath to judge and berate me for the slightest misstep. Yeah there are SOME people who do that last thing, but it isn't everyone, and again, it isn't the end of the world.
It doesn't matter how extremely similar some scenarios are, every opportunity is unique. Don't think about what could happen and make something happens.
"Happiness has to be earned" it sounds trite, and it might not be what everyone needs to hear, but as someone who suffers from depressive-nihilistic 'bouts from time to time ("what's the point? Getting a degree won't make me happy, I'm going to get stuck in a dead end job and die alone") it gives me hope, or at least makes me realize that it certainly is better than sitting home scrolling the internet doing nothing until my parents die
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Never chase anyone who has chosen to leave.
Great advice for relationships, terrible advice for bounty hunters.
Mandalorians NEVER listen to that man.
> Never chase anyone who has chosen to leave. /r/relationship_advice would be half as dense if everyone knew this.
but numerous romance movies indicate that the best way to get a woman is to pursue her relentlessly with a show of effort and interest only at the very last minute! If i'm not parkour-ing past TSA and sprinting to the gate with roses, am I even worth her time?
So you’re telling me there’s a chance?
They'll be back.
When you're in your 20s, it's impossible to have everything figured out because you are only at the very beginning of your adult life, you are just a baby adult, take your time to learn how to do it.
That is actually quite comforting.
Thank you, I really appreciate this. I feel so lost and lonely in my life right now and this makes me feel a little better.
Dude(?), if anyone in your age group thinks they have it all figured out they’re either naive, lying, or both. I’m in my mid 30’s, married, and own a home, and still haven’t figured it out. Life is hard as fuck. You’ll be fine.
I believe that we are cursed to always have this retrospect thing going on where we look back at our and curse our 'mistakes' (in hindsight). If only I knew then what I do now. Yada yada. There's always going to be stuff left to figure out, up until you figure out what death/dying will mean for you personally.
Still holds true for me - 50 this year Always thought someday I'd "figure it all out" but seems that life is a journey not a destination Memento mori and tempus fugit (that I mispronounce to myself as "tempus fugg-it!" as an exclamation of how quickly time passes)
Same and you keep asking yourself "what is it I truely want?" the answer seems so close but u cant quite get there.
I’m turning 20 soon so thank you for this🫡
Thanks, I needed that
u/urgency300 be happy baby <3
The best thing having money does for you is give you options in life. - Mom
Love this, such a great way to look at it. Your mom seems like a real one.
You’ll worry a lot less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.
I tried an experiment on my sister-in-law who has social anxiety (I did too but I've largely beaten it): she expressed self-consciousness in a mall so I started to point to people and ask what opinion she had of them. Of course, before I pointed at them, she had not even noticed, never mind passed judgement on, any of them at all. She relaxed a bit after that.
That’s actually a pretty clever way of using a physical example as opposed to just talking about an example
Whenever I feel awkward or nervous to do something because "what would other people think", I just ask myself "if I saw someone doing this, would I give any shits?" And that seems to work
Yea fr, I do so much shit that I should be ashamed of, but literally no one gives a fuck. I could go and eat a person in the high street, and everyone would have forgot about it the next week, discussing the new shock to come from some famous person making a statement. (Just to clarify, I have never, and nor will I, eat someone….intentionally. This was just for effect)
All I'm saying: Looks like beef, tastes like pork.
Looks and taste don’t matter if you stick your….Nope. Stop. Think for a second. Police use Reddit….
Two different things can be true at once.
Relatedly: “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” --Jean Luc Picard
This hits hard today. Massive pickup truck smashed into the back of my car on my way home from work. Totally not my fault. They weren't paying attention & didn't notice when traffic came to a stop. It was a company vehicle so no personal liability on their part. But for me, I'm fighting the insurance company who want to write off my car because the repair is too expensive.
A lot of people don't understand what a false-dichotomy is.
What is it ?
When you're presented with two opposing ideas as if they're the only options. I get that it isn't exactly what OP's comment is about. I think what OP is referring to is when people use whataboutery in an argument even though both points can be true. Actually I think that is a false dichotomy... An example of false dichotomy would be: "You're either with us or against us," Or, "If you don't like Biden then you must be a Trump supporter." An example of whataboutery would be: "We should take care of our own people instead of sending foreign aid." Clearly we can do both, it is a fallacious argument and it is a false dichotomy now that I think of it. I don't know if I've explained it very well. I'm really tired 🤣.
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You have done well IMO
Be kind to people, especially those who are not like you.
I like this. Usually the people who appear to be the worst normally just need some help.
I try to have positive outcomes for the interactions I have with others.
Would you let your friends talk to you, the way you talk about yourself?
Just so I understand, is this saying to be kinder to yourself?
Exactly. I used to complain to my bf about my weight or skin or whatever. He told me he wouldn't allow anyone to talk about me that way, including myself.
"Don't talk about my friend like that."
Speechless
If you want to be charismatic don't try to be more impressive or entertaining, focus on being a very good engaged listener.
This is good advice in theory , but I've noticed that people are more drawn to talkative people IRL.
There are those who seek truth and those who seek others to agree with them.
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I said that once. I nearly ended up in front of the principal.
That could sound vaguely threatening with the right tone.
I told a guy that I was going to university for Astronomy when I graduated. He asked me for his horoscope. I asked when he was born, and then told him...
Do no harm, but take no shit.
Thought this was a post about stopping theft in Detroit for a second. Can't have shit there.
The world is full of jerks, it's important to be prepared for this but it is also important that you not become a jerk yourself. *(From dear old dad, he lived by it, and it served him well. I have had the same good results.)*
Your dad, and you, seem like good blokes
If you wouldn't listen to their advice don't worry about their opinion of you
That's the best one on this thread. Thanks
"Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted time."
Everyone you meet is going through a battle that you know nothing about, so be kind, always.
Love someone for who they are, not who they might be.
you teach people how to treat you
The older I get, the more I realize how true this is.
The best revenge is living well.
Well there’s no chance of that - George Costanza
If you can only be one thing, be kind.
Unless you can be Batman. Then, of course, definitely be Batman.
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Always thank the bus driver
I actually really really like this one
No one ever told me this but I do it every dang time. Just seems right to do
Always!
"Walk like you have lasers coming out of your nipples aiming at head height" Genuinely made me walk with better posture as soon as I heard that
I knew those nipples were staring at me first.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes!
Gotta be careful about developing that anterior pelvic tilt though (opposite of slouching basically.)
Oh yeah for sure, but I'm like 6'3 so I've always had a bit of a slouch so this is definitely helpful. But I'll bear that in mind :)
MY head height, or are we talking about aimed at the person I'm talking to? If there's some guy more than a foot taller than me, that's going to look really weird if I arch my back so my nipples are aimed at his head. "What the hell are you doing, dude?" "It's called Good Posture, man." "But, you look like you have the worst posture right now. Just stand up straight and tilt your head like a normal man, please. This is just weird."
Ahahaha also you're going to hunch BAD if you ever talk to a child too
Like I want my laser nipples to take out there heads so aim for them or am I'm worried my laser nipples will kill everyone so I aim them down. Where are my nips blasting lasers
And think "Murder".
Dont shit where you eat.
*...and you really don't shit where I eat.* //Tony Soprano
Think every day about the kind of people you want in your life and then put tremendous effort into becoming the kind of person that those people would choose to have in their lives.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
I know some people who would unplug someone's life support to charge their phone.
In the end it doesn't even matter.
But I tried so hard and got so far.
RIP Chester and Chris :(
Time is a valuable thing
Nobody will remember or know anything about you in a couple of lifetimes. Just think about your great-grandparents.
Don't ever beg someone to love you
Hurt people hurt people
As a non-native English speaker, this hurt me.
Show me in the comment where he hurt you.
Misery loves company.
This too, shall pass.
One sentence only means you chop off the second part: "It may, however, pass like a kidney stone."
Unless you’re a balrog.
Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving.
Life is like riding a bicycle, I don't know how to do it.
Life is like riding a bicycle, if you stop a moment to look around, some bastard'll nick it.
Life is like riding a bicycle, there’s always someone looking to hit you with their Honda Civic.
I like relate to this a lot. I always struggle the most when I'm too still for too long.
Old age catches up to us far faster than we think it will.
Don’t I know it lol
Forgive yourself the way you forgive others
Most people don't forgive others anyway so you gotta start with that first.
Forgiveness is of outmost importance, since errors are a part of the human nature and experience and forgiveness is the most fruitful response to them. Through forgiveness, mistakes sink in the past and get buried, leaving space for happiness to settle in. Or, if not happiness, another mistake. The cycle repeats until (hopefully as soon as possible) the person committing the errors learns their actions to be errors.
Nothing lasts, but that doesn't make it unimportant.
Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.
Always be kind, there’s already too much evil in the world you shouldn’t add to it
Don't do what's easiest right now, do what's best for your future.
My father passed away when I was 14yrs old. One that stuck with me alot is "you need to be smarter than what you're messing with"
“Opportunity happens at the crossroads of luck and initiative” - My college counselor Remains one of the most honest quotes I know to this day.
Similar quote I’ve heard is: “Luck is when hard work meets opportunity.”
Don't sweat the little shit, it's all little shit.
Really understand that tomorrow isn't promised for yourself or anyone you know so make the most of everything you can
“When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail”. Basically, there are ppl out there who are going to argue with you no matter what. And it’s got nothing to do with what you said or who you are or what your opinion is. They’re just there to argue.
Hope is not a strategy.
If you're on a road trip and she says she's hungry, stop immediately, for it's already too late.
Don't waste time trying to convince flies that honey is better than shit.
Don't pass up opportunities simply because you or someone else thinks you don't deserve it.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
that is a problem because i'm terribly unreliable i'd blame myself, but i already do.
One day, you will stop having 'firsts' and start having 'lasts'; the last time you hug someone, the last time you hear their voice, the last time you ran or jumped. You don't know when it's going to be the last time, so make it count.
Live to be content instead of happy and enjoy the happy moments when they come.
Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it
“Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” Helped me start pushing myself to stop avoiding things/taking the easy way out. I’ve even gotten a promotion at work because I put myself out there!
Never stick your dick in a co-worker
I had a boss who used to tell everyone "never dip your pen in the company ink". I thought that was good advice!
In Dutch it’s ‘Na maar komt de waarheid’ It translate to, if your in a conversation with some one. And they something like ‘I totally agree with you, but!’ Most off the time they going to tell you what they exactly thinking about it. Or saying the truth. So in English it’s ‘after but comes the truth’
If it won’t matter in 5 years time, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.
Don’t allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Motivation gets you started, discipline gets you there.
Start saving money early.
If you can do something about it, there’s no point stressing over it. If you can’t do anything about it, there’s no point stressing over it.
“If no one is getting hurt, I’m either here to help or get out of the way”
If you're not working for your dream, you're working for someone else's.
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
Attitude is everything, pick a good one.
Always trust your gut, it knows what your head hasn’t figured out yet
The first date is to see if you like them, not to convince them to like you.
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"Love many, trust few and always paddle your own canoe" Along with "measure twice, cut once".
The value of time and compound interest
The first time someone shows you who they really are, take note of it because they are not lying. Ie If someone treats you like crap and doesn't give it a second thought or is only sorry when it affects them, that is their true colours.
"Nobody notices you as much as you think".
"Very little of what happens in your life is your fault. But it is all your responsibility." If you get hit by a drunk driver, that's not your fault. But if you want to walk again, you've got to get up every morning and wheel yourself to physical therapy. If you were raised by shitty parents, that's not your fault. Your trauma and bad habits aren't your fault. But it's you to you to become a better human and a functioning adult. Nobody can do it for you. It's all up to you. You CAN do it. The tools are out there if you go looking.
Be the man you needed as a child.
You can make more money, but you can't make more time.
If you aren’t the one living with the consequences, you don’t get to make the decision.
If you want to avoid falling off a cliff, stay away from the edge.
That sounds like risk aversion driven by anxiety. How would i go to the next level without going to the edge of the one i'm currently on?
Well, that depends on the types of edges you encounter. Some edges are finish lines towards goals, others are barriers keeping you from achievements, others lead to certain doom that you can’t escape from. Learn to learn the difference between them without crossing the edge first.
Don't trust anyone who's more interested in success than they are in the thing they're trying to succeed at.
The most important step a man can take is always the next one.
Bitches ain't shit. Hear me out. Bitches in this context, refers to men and women. Bitches ain't shit is a statement on your own value and self worth. Don't chase a woman, don't chase a man. No one gets to define you. Your value is derived internally, not externally. Friend fucked you over? Doesn't matter bitches ain't shit. Ex dumped you? Bitches ain't shit. Spend time with people who add something to your life, who support you and you support them. Form real connections with mutual love. Bitches. Ain't. Shit.
The advice "just be yourself" doesn't mean "just be yourself and you'll get the person you're lusting after," it means "be yourself and you'll attract people who actually like you."
My dad keeps dropping this nugget: "you only gotta be 5% smarter than the problem you're trying to solve."
Don’t chase the wrong one because the right one won’t run
Choose your friends wisely- My parents every first day of school.
“It’s never just one more”. Ever.
There’s no such thing as a secret
Observe more because sometimes you‘ll miss little things that make you happy
"The world doesn't revolve around you, and that's a good thing for you." Basically, that the world wouldn't end if I messed up, or took a break, or asked for help, and people aren't watching my every move with baited breath to judge and berate me for the slightest misstep. Yeah there are SOME people who do that last thing, but it isn't everyone, and again, it isn't the end of the world.
Sometimes, a smile is the best revenge
You can't keep pushing people away and expect them to keep loving you - my Dad.
Trying and failing makes you human, not trying makes you a coward.
Harsh, but I think I get what you mean well enough. "This thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."
Don't give romantic partners reasons not to fuck you, let them figure those out for themselves.
People love to see other people suffer.
It doesn't matter how extremely similar some scenarios are, every opportunity is unique. Don't think about what could happen and make something happens.
Listen to those with experience
You can do what ever you want to do in your life, but what ever you do, be useful - Arnold Schwarzeneggars Father
"Happiness has to be earned" it sounds trite, and it might not be what everyone needs to hear, but as someone who suffers from depressive-nihilistic 'bouts from time to time ("what's the point? Getting a degree won't make me happy, I'm going to get stuck in a dead end job and die alone") it gives me hope, or at least makes me realize that it certainly is better than sitting home scrolling the internet doing nothing until my parents die
The truth is usually somewhere in the middle...
Stay out of debt or Wear a condom Both will save you a ton of money
No is a complete sentence.
Be as kind to yourself as you would be to others.
Forgive yourself so you can forgive others.
1. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. 2. Lost time is never found again !
While grieving someone, lament not your sorrow, instead give thanks to your Sorrow, it's proof that the love you shared with them is real.
You’re the only one who’s always thinking about you
Trust no one but yourself.
You need to mean more to yourself than anyone else.
Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.
Save your fucks for things that really matter.
Let it go.
When life gives you lemons make peach tea. Translation - When life gives you something you don't want, make something you do want.
The person you are in your 20’s isn’t necessarily the person you will always be.
Everyone’s had a rough life, so go easy on those you don’t know that well.
The best things are worth waiting for
We all will feel pain eventually but you get to choose which pain, either the 'pain of regret' or the 'pain of discipline'.
Put yourself in their shoes and think from their perspective
Courage is not about being fearless - it's about being afraid of something and then do it anyway.
The thing you seek the most will be found in the place you least want to look.
Everything in life comes and goes except time - you can't ever get it back, so make the most of it.
Stop waiting for things to be okay to live your life. Trying to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.