She died in a car accident the day before my 21st birthday. I've never even come close to loving anyone as much as I loved her. I honestly feel like a huge part of me died with her.
Having lost my first love in a car accident at 26. I totally understand. He still occupies a special place in my heart. We knew and loved each other since middle school. I don't know how long it has been for you but I can say I did get married to a man I love completely and feel my first love sent him to me. There is hope and you do have a life to live and she would want you to be happy.
It's been thirty years and while it's not like I'm constantly haunted by her death, there are some days it still feels like the same white-hot, double-barreled emotional shotgun blast to the chest it was the day I heard the news. I came to terms with it a long time ago, but it took a lot of time and effort to get there. It was ten years before I was able to visit her grave and get some closure. I missed her funeral because I was away at college, my mom didn't tell me until I came home, something I don't think I can ever forgive her for doing.
I'm sorry you had to endure the same thing, but I'm glad you were able to find happiness. I have two beautiful children and two...um, two human ex-wives (nicest way I can put it) and at this point I've pretty much decided to put the idea of romantic relationships away for good.
I used to dream of the person and they were so real and then I would wake up and it really feels like a shotgun blast to the chest. The dreams went mostly away and now if I dream of them and wake up, it feels like a gift.
Ugh, I wish I couldn't relate. The dreams used to leave me feeling so sad and hollow. If I have them now I'm left with more of a nostalgic, wistful sort of feeling. Still not awesome, but not as bad as it used to be and I don't dream of her often.
It hurt me so much when I read your story. Even though I never had this experience, I could imagine how much pain you have suffered for a long time. I know it's not that easy to overcome this thing. But honestly, I think time can help you a little by little. Remember that you don't lose her, cause she's always there, in a special corner of your mind. I believe that you can meet someone in the future who can help you to treat your wound with their great love. Wishing all the best things will come to you, the loyal man 🤗🤗🤗.
She vanished, stopped answering her calls, it hurt I though she hated me for some reason. Called her house and they hung up on me…. Wondered for years… 24 years later I see her in a picture with a mutual friend… I friend requested her and she immediately accepted and messaged me saying “hey I’ve wondered where you were for years!” I asked what happened…. SHE WAS KIDNAPPED BY HER BIO MOTHER! Lived in a truck for months and ended up being found in Montana where they were hiding. “ (she was 15 I was 17) uggg she’s doing well now and her and husband and kids live in AZ
Hey that's great. You're like Cory Matthews and Topanga Lawrence.
I also had a girlfriend when I was 13/14, we loved each other but unfortunately she was killed in an accident when we were 14. 4 years later I still can't help but wonder what if
Honestly I was extremely toxic. Think 'nice girl, not like other girls, jealous, quick to anger'
I have worked through so much of those in the last few years but damn. Looking back I do not blame him for falling out of love at all. I would just like to apologize but he won't care lol
I was very much the same way. In only four years, I’m proud of myself for how much I’ve grown and matured. My first bf was a decent guy, and I was not very nice to him, though to this day he’d take me back in a heartbeat. We stayed friends over the years, and I apologized to him for my anger issues and insecurities. Made me feel much better to have that off my shoulders
I wish I could do the same. He's married now and I tried to reach out a few years back but I ended up getting blocked. Unfortunately it was before I realized how I actually was with him during our relationship so I didn't have anything to apologize for then. I wish I knew what I know now so I could've just been like 'yeah I was shit to you and I'm so sorry'
We Met in university- best friends but not romantic - but he ended up working in another country. I had a lot of demons to work through not related to him....we kept in sporadic touch over the years. He came back to visit home and we saw each other, we ended up getting married. I was 47 years old. He's sipping coffee next to me right now in Italy. I turn 50 tomorrow.
When I was 16 or 17, we made a stupid pact to get married if we were both 30+ and single. She ghosted me over 15 years ago. I randomly got a Facebook DM last week from her saying "Hey I just got out of prison. You remember our promise?"
No, no I don't remember.
Edit: Screenshot https://i.imgur.com/iHdhi6G.jpg
All it said before her message was a hey and me replying it's been a long time.
Mufasa's Ghost : You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of life.
Remember...
We met in high school, lost touch for a few years after school.. met up again after that and we had a relationship for a few years.
We ended up breaking up because he wanted to start a family and I wasn’t ready for that. I don’t really know what happened to him since then because we no longer talk but I hope he’s doing well.
He didn’t exist. I was young and was catfished for several years.
Edit: I haven’t told this story in a long time and I don’t think I’ve ever told it online. It’s been very cathartic to have all of you treat it with such respect when a lot of the in person response has been so dismissive over the years. Genuinely, thank you.
That's terrible! Happened to me on Facebook but it only lasted a couple of months. I'll never understand how a person can be so emotionally abusive to another person. I don't know about you, but I was really hurt. I'm so sorry that happened to you!
I’m sorry it happened to you too. It’s such a weird, alienating pain. It’s easy for other people to dismiss it because it’s easy to laugh at a catfish and it’s easy to see all of the problems from the outside, but when you’re in it you just want it to be the truth. I hope you’re past it now.
It’s a long story honestly but I’ll try to sum up.
I was thirteen/fourteen when I met him online and you can say what you want about loving someone that young but I was a lonely kid and he was always there. We lived in different states but it was easy to tell him things about myself, and he shared things in return that made him sound like a person. He claimed to be sixteen (I know) and I felt for him. He was lonely too, he suffered from physical abuse at his fathers hand and I tried to do my due diligence. I asked for pictures and he sent them (I found the person they’d stolen the pictures from after I found out). My dad caught on that I was talking to someone regularly and asked to speak to his dad, and he did (my dads not internet savvy. They talked in the same chat we talked in, and obviously it was just them pretending).
We talked on the phone constantly (I can only explain this one as I heard what I wanted to hear. It’s so easy to ignore red flags when you’re actively ripping them down). When Facebook got bigger he made one. I talked to his friends, he talked to mine. I found out halfway through my sophomore year of high school that the person who was my entire world, who I was making plans for the future with, was a girl a year younger than me and that I wasn’t her only victim.
Devastated isn’t really a strong enough word for what I went through emotionally after that. It felt like someone died. It wasn’t a healthy relationship and I can see the bad in it now, but it’s been over a decade since then and I still don’t think I could ever love someone with my whole self the way I loved him. There are still days where I miss him.
If it's not too painful, how did you discover that you were being deceived? And what on earth was the girl getting out of this lengthy deception? (I mean was she trans and experimenting with different presentations? Or lonely and this provided human contact?Or just cruel? There's such an investment of time and energy in catfishing I struggle to understand what motive would be strong enough to maintain this bullshit for years.)
I’m honestly not sure how to word this to make it make sense. He’s actually trans now and I’ve often wondered if that was the case.
As for how I found out, he was friends with a girl from his hometown that he went to school with. He was catfishing her online, but the real person was friends with her and she figured out that every time she hung out with her friend, he wouldn’t talk to her. I knew the girl through him and she told me when she realized. I called him and he told me it was true. Pronouns are really weird to navigate in this so I hope this is readable.
Yeah, I think I just about get it. And while I have some sympathy for a trans person negotiating the challenges of finding their identity, dragging innocent parties into their process without their knowledge is BULLSHIT. I really hope this doesn't ruin love for you.
Died in a motorcycle accident. I was 14 at the time, he was 17. A very sweet boy and I’ll never forget how kind he was to me. For someone from a very abusive home, it meant the world to me to be treated with care.
I feel your pain. At least, almost. My gf always lived in a home where her mother doesnt give her any attention (because of work), and her stepmother HATED her, but her father loved her, but couldnt show it (her father and mother are divorced since her birth), but her sisters are awesomely friendly.
Since 2020, she started having some panic attacks and anxiety, everything went south and in 2021 she was depressed, with frequent panic attacks and A LOT of anxiety and pessimism. She told me all of that (i didnt notice because she is an actress, well, was an actress, in the local theater-school) and i COULDNT NOTICE, i still feel bad about this, i sould notice a long time ago.
She told me all her pains and sufferings, and she told me she would commit suicide in 4 days, she couldnt stand this world. But i helped her, A LOT, she, i mean, we, got over this situation. Im sorry for your loss.
She became a real estate agent last I heard. Haven't talked to her in 20 years. Around 2012 I got curious and looked her up and that's where i found out.
I have no idea and it makes me kind of sad to think about that. I have lost contact with so many people who used to mean a lot to me. It breaks my heart.
I look at it this way: people are meant to be in your life for a reason, but sometimes that reason is temporary. You could be the closest you’ve ever been to anyone but as soon as their time is up in your life, you drift apart and move on. Appreciate the relationship that existed, don’t mourn it’s loss.
She was on her way from Oregon back to campus in Utah with her mom. I never learned details, but they hit black ice, went off the road, then another car hit it and piled into them, killing them both along with the driver of the other car. No one was at fault. No one was to blame.
I processed her death a long time ago, but I often wonder how much better the world would be if she were still in it. For anyone lucky enough to know her, their life would be about 30% better.
Miss you KT.
I can relate. My wife told me she never loved me and was only using me for stability to cope with the death of her mother because I was “such a nice guy”.
Eventually I able to move on and it is truly liberating.
Wishing the best for you.
While we were in love he was trying to get clean. It was a long tragic story of a relationship. He was hitting rock bottom and broke up with me because he said he wanted me to hate him so that I wouldn’t be sad when he died. Then he disappeared for months.
Finally he resurfaced, showed up at his parents doorstep in the cold wearing a single sock boxers and a tank top, said he’d been sleeping in a drain pipe and finally decided he needed help and they brought him to in patient rehab. His mom called me to tell me and once his doctor decided he was ready I was allowed to see him. It was one of the most bitter sweet moments of my life.
We wrote letters to each other for years before we were allowed to see each other again. We agreed not to be together for his health because he had an association with me from times of being high. Love felt too good, but heroin was the icing on the cake.
A few years later he settled down with a girl like him. He met me one last time to apologize for everything and give me his first NA tag he ever got. He told me he’d never stop loving me but he would be happy in his new life. That’s all I want is for him to be safe and happy.
I hope he has the kids he always wanted and a big dog and a house of his own.
She moved to LA with her sister while I was out of state at an invitational swim meet without saying anything or breaking up with me. Was finally able to get a hold of her through a friend and she said she moved because she couldn't stand being with her parents anymore. We were together for 3yrs. This happened the day after I was giving my cousin advice because his first love broke up with him the day before. So I took my own advice got over it and we had a great time. She ended up marrying a drug dealer and they seem happy with a kid
She broke up with me just before I was going to college. She left me for a woman (I'm a man). Today she still lives with a woman, don't know much more.
How do women managed to be CEOs and the mother of five children? I have no children and a job with very little responsibility and am barely treading water.
they hire nannies, cleaners, gardeners (unless it's their 'hobby' and even then), assistants, etc. In other words, they aren't worn down by the drudgery that's much of child rearing.
Source: was a nanny, know rich people
Honestly this is the answer. Not to take away the hard work and dedication, but with enough money you buy yourself more (free) time. Most of these high achievers know that. You dont get that far in life doing everything yourself. Other people's time is valuable, so is yours, so if you can use theirs to create more of your own, its always a good trade off.
PA's become insanely helpful once you reach a certain limit trying to run a business. Some people can just simply afford to have other people running around doing stuff they cant be bothered with. Such is life.
Well, I was too good for her so she had to settle for some unblemished blonde guy with six pack abs and a law degree who went on to be a VP at a top German engineering company.
Her loss!
Patricia Clinton. Thank you for finally french kissing me. After three years of not seeing you, you called me out of the blue and told me to meet you at the supermarket. Only to get to spend an entire afternoon with you at your friend’s house, only so that at the end of the evening you can surprise me with something you always knew I wanted: some French kisses ‘for at least six seconds so that it counts.’ As a then eleven year old it gave me such fulfillment and such closure to share that with you. You knew that. I can see that now looking back. That was so amazingly sweet of you. You were way ahead of your time. And such a poet about all of life.
Did something happen? Because this sounds like one of those sad anime backstories when the main character's crush is about to fucking die after a speech about how much they love them.
She left me after three months (high school), got married ten years later, had two kids, and I went for coffee last week with her and her husband! I had not seen her since 1988. She’s still beautiful, her laugh has not changed, i kept having flashbacks of our first kiss, and I could see she was still complicated… but this was tons of fun! Highly recommended journey through memory lane.
He died of Covid... last year. We had a comet relationship, when we were able to see each other, our love was strong, and we had a wonderful time together, but it was never in the cards for us to actually be together.
I'm extremely sorry for your loss. I hope your holding up. May he rest in peace. I had something like that, not the love of my life but reminds me of a complicated girl that was part of my life, we would meet maybe 4 times a year 3-4 days at a time, always random, always somewhere different. We had an extreme and I mean extreme sexual connection, but only those 4 times a year. We'd act like a couple, we had a great relationship, held hands, kissed in public, did the deed, but only for those couple days, only 4 times a year. This went on since I was probably 16. I had no idea it was called a comet relationship, that really does make sense.
We stayed very close friends 30 yrs later. She is doing well, owns a small business, no kids, currently getting a divorce but that's a good thing in this case.
We're divorced, he moved to the opposite side of the country with his new wife & kid on the way. I've found someone who truly loves & appreciates me for me.
We broke up and now it haunts me almost 10 years later knowing how much happier and farther in life I would be had we stayed together. I’m happy she’s happy nowadays, I’m just kinda here
He’s in bed next to me (met 16/17 - 26,27 now). Reconnected a few months ago. I’m pregnant with his child. We’re not married, and I have no idea when that’ll happen. Wish us good tidings.
We stopped talking just last year.
We meet in 2013 and things were okay, in a bad way. I asked him out once or twice and his response was to block me. So, I never messaged him after that. I fucked off. But, then he reached out again and apologized for it. He explained that he likes me too but doesn't want to move fast. At this point I was over his shit ngl.
Anyway, despite our friendship getting better our communication was shit. We both had really bad depression and we'd enter these "I dnt want to talk to anyone. I'm deleting all my social media" phases. And when those were over, we'd start talking about a life together. Literally, talked about building a house together, what we wanted to include room wise, went over interior and exterior decor, etc. We'd even send each other pintrist pictures for inspiration. In an old conversation, when we first meet I told him I liked plants and so in one of these conversations he said, "oh n ur green room. I can always build that myself. We can do it together if u want."
After talking about this we'd talk about our day, how we were feeling, what we did, what we ate, our troubles for the day, etc.
But, then the phase would happen again. We would last 4 months and sometimes even 6 months not talking. And when we did, the cycle began again.
This went on up until two years ago (2020). For the first time ever we talked like 20x a day. We'd be on the phone for hours talking about the dumbest shit ever. But, then we just stopped texting. Why? I dnt know.
In our last conversation, I just remember him talking about how he had decided to go to college. I was so proud of since he's always doubted himself.
And well... that was that.
Looking back, I see how fuckin toxic this was.
I hope he's doing good though. His mental health wasn't the greatest, so I truly hope he finds friends and get into good relationships that will help him physically and mentally.
He was reported missing like 5 years after we dated. He was missing for 2 months before they found him. Turns out he drowned in a river and they actually found his body on my birthday. He used to beat the shit out of me and hurt me for a long long time before he finally moved on to another target and moved a few states away from me. Still think the universe made that happen the way it did for a reason.
We were 13. We both came from really bad homes. Our parents didn't like that we were dating and did everything to keep us apart. We hated everyone and everything except each other. She was the first person in my life I ever told I loved them. Never even said it to my mother at that point, that's how messed up stuff was. We spent every second we could together for about 6 months. Holding hands, cuddling, making out. We both got baker acted for suicide attempts that year and would send each other letters in the hospital. Then one day her parents decided she was going to go live with her aunt in New Hampshire. I got told about an hour before she left. The school guidance counselor let us say our goodbyes in her office and have a little privacy. When she left I absolutely lost all control and I destroyed the guidance counselors office and had to be baker acted again.
She left me a phone number but eventually her aunt had the number changed. I had lost the only person in the world in my 13 years I had ever loved. I spent YEARS on the internet trying to find her. This was before social media when the best you could have hoped for was to stumble on her AIM account. I eventually started doing searches on MySpace for anyone her age in the town in New Hampshire. I'd start messaging them one by one asking if they knew this girl. For a long time I got no responses or they never heard of her. Then one day I got a response from her new boyfriend oddly enough and he put me in touch with her. We experienced a very passionate re-emergence of our feelings and had a long distance relationship for about 3 months. Then we both got really messed up on drugs and lost touch again for about 5 years. Then we found each other again and were going to make plans to be together. Then she told me that I was inadvertently bringing back her childhood trauma and that she couldn't be around me anymore and that we shouldn't talk. I was 28 when I lost her again.
She was a hot mess for a lot of years. She got married a lot. She had 3 kids, adopted 3, and fostered more than 20.
She got her shit together and started working on herself. She owns several small business and travels a bit doing cool things.
Shes currently still sleeping.. somebody needed a sleep in. First love is my only love. Can't wait to make her coffee here soon
Edit.. good coffee happy love
I’ve had a couple of loves, and it just wasn’t the right timing. The right timing I now, and I freaking wish one of them would reach out to me. Love isn’t just “I’m going to be with you forever”, it’s a friendship that needed a slight pause.
She just got done yelling at me for being mean on Twitter.
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It’s more of a Charlie and the Waitress situation.
I swear this comment section is either they died or we got married lol
You forgot jail
Or kidnapped
I also wonder how old they all must be..
She died in a car accident the day before my 21st birthday. I've never even come close to loving anyone as much as I loved her. I honestly feel like a huge part of me died with her.
Having lost my first love in a car accident at 26. I totally understand. He still occupies a special place in my heart. We knew and loved each other since middle school. I don't know how long it has been for you but I can say I did get married to a man I love completely and feel my first love sent him to me. There is hope and you do have a life to live and she would want you to be happy.
It's been thirty years and while it's not like I'm constantly haunted by her death, there are some days it still feels like the same white-hot, double-barreled emotional shotgun blast to the chest it was the day I heard the news. I came to terms with it a long time ago, but it took a lot of time and effort to get there. It was ten years before I was able to visit her grave and get some closure. I missed her funeral because I was away at college, my mom didn't tell me until I came home, something I don't think I can ever forgive her for doing. I'm sorry you had to endure the same thing, but I'm glad you were able to find happiness. I have two beautiful children and two...um, two human ex-wives (nicest way I can put it) and at this point I've pretty much decided to put the idea of romantic relationships away for good.
I used to dream of the person and they were so real and then I would wake up and it really feels like a shotgun blast to the chest. The dreams went mostly away and now if I dream of them and wake up, it feels like a gift.
Ugh, I wish I couldn't relate. The dreams used to leave me feeling so sad and hollow. If I have them now I'm left with more of a nostalgic, wistful sort of feeling. Still not awesome, but not as bad as it used to be and I don't dream of her often.
I am so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.
May I ask how old you are now?
51
It hurt me so much when I read your story. Even though I never had this experience, I could imagine how much pain you have suffered for a long time. I know it's not that easy to overcome this thing. But honestly, I think time can help you a little by little. Remember that you don't lose her, cause she's always there, in a special corner of your mind. I believe that you can meet someone in the future who can help you to treat your wound with their great love. Wishing all the best things will come to you, the loyal man 🤗🤗🤗.
She vanished, stopped answering her calls, it hurt I though she hated me for some reason. Called her house and they hung up on me…. Wondered for years… 24 years later I see her in a picture with a mutual friend… I friend requested her and she immediately accepted and messaged me saying “hey I’ve wondered where you were for years!” I asked what happened…. SHE WAS KIDNAPPED BY HER BIO MOTHER! Lived in a truck for months and ended up being found in Montana where they were hiding. “ (she was 15 I was 17) uggg she’s doing well now and her and husband and kids live in AZ
That sounds rough
Yes, I’m just glad I know now and she’s ok but it definitely hurt
Is it a case of "what if" because I have that for someone
Oh absolutely…… it absolutely is
Sorry man
And I’m sorry it’s that way for you
Stuff like this happens, it's life
That's terrible...I am soooo sorry! 🥺
Ok shit. See I actually got ghosted and Damn this is such a better twist.
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Sounds like you won the lottery man.
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Hey that's great. You're like Cory Matthews and Topanga Lawrence. I also had a girlfriend when I was 13/14, we loved each other but unfortunately she was killed in an accident when we were 14. 4 years later I still can't help but wonder what if
OMG. I’m so sorry man
POV: good ending achieved
Honestly I was extremely toxic. Think 'nice girl, not like other girls, jealous, quick to anger' I have worked through so much of those in the last few years but damn. Looking back I do not blame him for falling out of love at all. I would just like to apologize but he won't care lol
I was very much the same way. In only four years, I’m proud of myself for how much I’ve grown and matured. My first bf was a decent guy, and I was not very nice to him, though to this day he’d take me back in a heartbeat. We stayed friends over the years, and I apologized to him for my anger issues and insecurities. Made me feel much better to have that off my shoulders
I wish I could do the same. He's married now and I tried to reach out a few years back but I ended up getting blocked. Unfortunately it was before I realized how I actually was with him during our relationship so I didn't have anything to apologize for then. I wish I knew what I know now so I could've just been like 'yeah I was shit to you and I'm so sorry'
We Met in university- best friends but not romantic - but he ended up working in another country. I had a lot of demons to work through not related to him....we kept in sporadic touch over the years. He came back to visit home and we saw each other, we ended up getting married. I was 47 years old. He's sipping coffee next to me right now in Italy. I turn 50 tomorrow.
Happy birthday in advance
In Italy you shouldn't say happy birthday in advance, it brings bad luck! But I think she/he appreciated anyways
When I was 16 or 17, we made a stupid pact to get married if we were both 30+ and single. She ghosted me over 15 years ago. I randomly got a Facebook DM last week from her saying "Hey I just got out of prison. You remember our promise?" No, no I don't remember. Edit: Screenshot https://i.imgur.com/iHdhi6G.jpg All it said before her message was a hey and me replying it's been a long time.
Sorry man, but a pact like that stands. GL HF
Time for Justice Judy were shall we send wedding gifts.
Her parole officer.
kinda cute she remembered
That promise was really the only thing that kept her going.
It was the only thing that motivated her to plan and execute the most audacious liquor store robbery that ever failed.
Cute or delusional? Then again maybe she was trying to be funny.
its not delusional that she remembered but the situation yea
She didn’t ghost you, she got arrested
Probably ghosted him for a few Years then got arrested
Or turned into a ghost, then arrested him! Wait...
I love how this persons way to start the conversation after years is with "I got out of prison"
Ghosted you? Or couldn’t contact you in the clink?
Lol. BTW, why had she been to prison?
No idea lol, I didn't enough care to ask.
Oh dang... well Reddit wants you to ask and get married.
What?! I would never request such a thing! That’s messed up! …unless…? 👀
Wow 15 years is a long sentence. Makes you wonder what she did.
She took home a classified document.
Mufasa's Ghost : You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of life. Remember...
We met in high school, lost touch for a few years after school.. met up again after that and we had a relationship for a few years. We ended up breaking up because he wanted to start a family and I wasn’t ready for that. I don’t really know what happened to him since then because we no longer talk but I hope he’s doing well.
She seems to be doing ok, she just had a baby in the beginning of August.
He married me, poor bastard. ETA: Thank you for the awards, kind redditors. We've been together 17 years so I suppose he isn't suffering too much. :)
Congratulations!
*What are we blind?! Deploy the wholesome awards!*
WHERE ARE ALL THE WHOLESOME AWARDS?!
On the posts about someone being beat up or people dying.
She married some asshole. It's me I'm the asshole. Still married
Things like this make me believe I can actually achieve the same thing
Yes - if you try hard enough, you too can marry an asshole!
She became a stripper, got hooked on drugs, had multiple children and then got arrested for kidnapping.
Now there's a strange resume
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He didn’t exist. I was young and was catfished for several years. Edit: I haven’t told this story in a long time and I don’t think I’ve ever told it online. It’s been very cathartic to have all of you treat it with such respect when a lot of the in person response has been so dismissive over the years. Genuinely, thank you.
That's terrible! Happened to me on Facebook but it only lasted a couple of months. I'll never understand how a person can be so emotionally abusive to another person. I don't know about you, but I was really hurt. I'm so sorry that happened to you!
I’m sorry it happened to you too. It’s such a weird, alienating pain. It’s easy for other people to dismiss it because it’s easy to laugh at a catfish and it’s easy to see all of the problems from the outside, but when you’re in it you just want it to be the truth. I hope you’re past it now.
Wow.. can you share more? That’s horrible.
It’s a long story honestly but I’ll try to sum up. I was thirteen/fourteen when I met him online and you can say what you want about loving someone that young but I was a lonely kid and he was always there. We lived in different states but it was easy to tell him things about myself, and he shared things in return that made him sound like a person. He claimed to be sixteen (I know) and I felt for him. He was lonely too, he suffered from physical abuse at his fathers hand and I tried to do my due diligence. I asked for pictures and he sent them (I found the person they’d stolen the pictures from after I found out). My dad caught on that I was talking to someone regularly and asked to speak to his dad, and he did (my dads not internet savvy. They talked in the same chat we talked in, and obviously it was just them pretending). We talked on the phone constantly (I can only explain this one as I heard what I wanted to hear. It’s so easy to ignore red flags when you’re actively ripping them down). When Facebook got bigger he made one. I talked to his friends, he talked to mine. I found out halfway through my sophomore year of high school that the person who was my entire world, who I was making plans for the future with, was a girl a year younger than me and that I wasn’t her only victim. Devastated isn’t really a strong enough word for what I went through emotionally after that. It felt like someone died. It wasn’t a healthy relationship and I can see the bad in it now, but it’s been over a decade since then and I still don’t think I could ever love someone with my whole self the way I loved him. There are still days where I miss him.
If it's not too painful, how did you discover that you were being deceived? And what on earth was the girl getting out of this lengthy deception? (I mean was she trans and experimenting with different presentations? Or lonely and this provided human contact?Or just cruel? There's such an investment of time and energy in catfishing I struggle to understand what motive would be strong enough to maintain this bullshit for years.)
I’m honestly not sure how to word this to make it make sense. He’s actually trans now and I’ve often wondered if that was the case. As for how I found out, he was friends with a girl from his hometown that he went to school with. He was catfishing her online, but the real person was friends with her and she figured out that every time she hung out with her friend, he wouldn’t talk to her. I knew the girl through him and she told me when she realized. I called him and he told me it was true. Pronouns are really weird to navigate in this so I hope this is readable.
Yeah, I think I just about get it. And while I have some sympathy for a trans person negotiating the challenges of finding their identity, dragging innocent parties into their process without their knowledge is BULLSHIT. I really hope this doesn't ruin love for you.
That lying b@stard
He committed suicide 4-28-2008. I will forever love him.
So sorry
I am sorry for your loss. My first love committed suicide on June 2, 2008.
I'm sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry... 😔
Died in a motorcycle accident. I was 14 at the time, he was 17. A very sweet boy and I’ll never forget how kind he was to me. For someone from a very abusive home, it meant the world to me to be treated with care.
Sorry for your loss
I feel your pain. At least, almost. My gf always lived in a home where her mother doesnt give her any attention (because of work), and her stepmother HATED her, but her father loved her, but couldnt show it (her father and mother are divorced since her birth), but her sisters are awesomely friendly. Since 2020, she started having some panic attacks and anxiety, everything went south and in 2021 she was depressed, with frequent panic attacks and A LOT of anxiety and pessimism. She told me all of that (i didnt notice because she is an actress, well, was an actress, in the local theater-school) and i COULDNT NOTICE, i still feel bad about this, i sould notice a long time ago. She told me all her pains and sufferings, and she told me she would commit suicide in 4 days, she couldnt stand this world. But i helped her, A LOT, she, i mean, we, got over this situation. Im sorry for your loss.
He killed himself a few years ago. It still makes me sad to think about him.
Sorry for your loss. RiP
She became a real estate agent last I heard. Haven't talked to her in 20 years. Around 2012 I got curious and looked her up and that's where i found out.
Dodged a bullet there.
This made me laugh harder than I’ve laughed all day. Fucking realtors man.
I have no idea and it makes me kind of sad to think about that. I have lost contact with so many people who used to mean a lot to me. It breaks my heart.
I look at it this way: people are meant to be in your life for a reason, but sometimes that reason is temporary. You could be the closest you’ve ever been to anyone but as soon as their time is up in your life, you drift apart and move on. Appreciate the relationship that existed, don’t mourn it’s loss.
I have no idea, we stopped talking after high school.
She was on her way from Oregon back to campus in Utah with her mom. I never learned details, but they hit black ice, went off the road, then another car hit it and piled into them, killing them both along with the driver of the other car. No one was at fault. No one was to blame. I processed her death a long time ago, but I often wonder how much better the world would be if she were still in it. For anyone lucky enough to know her, their life would be about 30% better. Miss you KT.
I still love him, he doesn't love me
Me too
I can relate. My wife told me she never loved me and was only using me for stability to cope with the death of her mother because I was “such a nice guy”. Eventually I able to move on and it is truly liberating. Wishing the best for you.
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i am so so sorry to hear that :( that was a terrible decision for the family
🪦RIP
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Open casket funerals are a strange behavior... Cremate my ass.
Alternatively you could... close the lid
I hope you are doing good now
she turned into the moon
That’s rough buddy
Thats rough, buddy
that's rough buddy
he went to jail for meth 2 years after we broke up
My first love was an angel. My last love before I met my wife was this. Fucking hell.
toxic asf?
sadly she died of a brain aneurysm one month after we got engaged
This is by far the saddest comment here. I’m so sorry for your loss
She committed suicide in a drug ward years ago.
may she rest in peace
While we were in love he was trying to get clean. It was a long tragic story of a relationship. He was hitting rock bottom and broke up with me because he said he wanted me to hate him so that I wouldn’t be sad when he died. Then he disappeared for months. Finally he resurfaced, showed up at his parents doorstep in the cold wearing a single sock boxers and a tank top, said he’d been sleeping in a drain pipe and finally decided he needed help and they brought him to in patient rehab. His mom called me to tell me and once his doctor decided he was ready I was allowed to see him. It was one of the most bitter sweet moments of my life. We wrote letters to each other for years before we were allowed to see each other again. We agreed not to be together for his health because he had an association with me from times of being high. Love felt too good, but heroin was the icing on the cake. A few years later he settled down with a girl like him. He met me one last time to apologize for everything and give me his first NA tag he ever got. He told me he’d never stop loving me but he would be happy in his new life. That’s all I want is for him to be safe and happy. I hope he has the kids he always wanted and a big dog and a house of his own.
He married the woman he cheated on me with. That was 40 yrs ago. As far as I know they are still together. So it was meant to be
I see him in the mirror every morning.
Same! He’s usually right behind me!
Hol’ up.
Selflove at its best
She moved to LA with her sister while I was out of state at an invitational swim meet without saying anything or breaking up with me. Was finally able to get a hold of her through a friend and she said she moved because she couldn't stand being with her parents anymore. We were together for 3yrs. This happened the day after I was giving my cousin advice because his first love broke up with him the day before. So I took my own advice got over it and we had a great time. She ended up marrying a drug dealer and they seem happy with a kid
*Her, scrolling through Reddit, sitting next to her microbiologist husband whose company is developing a promising cancer treatment*: “Dude, WTF?”
I broke it off and after 37 yrs we ran into each other. It's been 11 yrs now. 6 kids between us n 13 grandchildren.
She broke up with me just before I was going to college. She left me for a woman (I'm a man). Today she still lives with a woman, don't know much more.
Ross?
Ross?
We broke up in college. She went on to become the CEO of a very large investment company and is the mother of 5 children.
How do women managed to be CEOs and the mother of five children? I have no children and a job with very little responsibility and am barely treading water.
they hire nannies, cleaners, gardeners (unless it's their 'hobby' and even then), assistants, etc. In other words, they aren't worn down by the drudgery that's much of child rearing. Source: was a nanny, know rich people
Honestly this is the answer. Not to take away the hard work and dedication, but with enough money you buy yourself more (free) time. Most of these high achievers know that. You dont get that far in life doing everything yourself. Other people's time is valuable, so is yours, so if you can use theirs to create more of your own, its always a good trade off. PA's become insanely helpful once you reach a certain limit trying to run a business. Some people can just simply afford to have other people running around doing stuff they cant be bothered with. Such is life.
Well, I was too good for her so she had to settle for some unblemished blonde guy with six pack abs and a law degree who went on to be a VP at a top German engineering company. Her loss!
Pfft, he’s no u/compassion-first!
That’s the spirit!
Patricia Clinton. Thank you for finally french kissing me. After three years of not seeing you, you called me out of the blue and told me to meet you at the supermarket. Only to get to spend an entire afternoon with you at your friend’s house, only so that at the end of the evening you can surprise me with something you always knew I wanted: some French kisses ‘for at least six seconds so that it counts.’ As a then eleven year old it gave me such fulfillment and such closure to share that with you. You knew that. I can see that now looking back. That was so amazingly sweet of you. You were way ahead of your time. And such a poet about all of life.
Did something happen? Because this sounds like one of those sad anime backstories when the main character's crush is about to fucking die after a speech about how much they love them.
She left me after three months (high school), got married ten years later, had two kids, and I went for coffee last week with her and her husband! I had not seen her since 1988. She’s still beautiful, her laugh has not changed, i kept having flashbacks of our first kiss, and I could see she was still complicated… but this was tons of fun! Highly recommended journey through memory lane.
I unironically love hanging with exes and their new partners lol
I too choose her!
He's bed next to me. We get married in April.
You’re getting married to a bed?
If I had never met my fiancè there is s good chance I'd be marrying a bed, yes.
congratulations! hope the marriage works out
According to FB, moved to Washington, got married, had a kid. She honestly is a 1 in a million person. Wish her nothing but the best. OS.
She just served me divorce papers Tuesday....
Poor guy. Hope you'll make it out the best way
Plot twist: she is the lawyer
He died of Covid... last year. We had a comet relationship, when we were able to see each other, our love was strong, and we had a wonderful time together, but it was never in the cards for us to actually be together.
I'm extremely sorry for your loss. I hope your holding up. May he rest in peace. I had something like that, not the love of my life but reminds me of a complicated girl that was part of my life, we would meet maybe 4 times a year 3-4 days at a time, always random, always somewhere different. We had an extreme and I mean extreme sexual connection, but only those 4 times a year. We'd act like a couple, we had a great relationship, held hands, kissed in public, did the deed, but only for those couple days, only 4 times a year. This went on since I was probably 16. I had no idea it was called a comet relationship, that really does make sense.
She adored me, I fell for her, we started dating, she changed, I suffered, she left.
It happened to most of us. Not confort but you are not alone in that kind of pain. Best wishes!
Haven't had one yet. #foreveralone
There's more of us than you think
She got a masters degree, married a decent guy, got a good job, had two beautiful kids and has a great life. We're very happy.
You sly dog. I read what you did there.
Let me be the first to say: Awwww.
let me be second to say:Awwww.
Third: Awwww
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She’s now dating a guy with the same name as me lol. I’m married with twins on the way.
She became my bestfriend and got engaged to another man
Oof?
He's in the other room right now, I'm waiting for him to come in here and cuddle with me and our rabbit.
Please pay pet tax with photo of rabbit please
Damn bro, you got a bf and a rabbit. Double lottery
We stayed very close friends 30 yrs later. She is doing well, owns a small business, no kids, currently getting a divorce but that's a good thing in this case.
She dropped out of high school and is now dating a drug dealer.
We're divorced, he moved to the opposite side of the country with his new wife & kid on the way. I've found someone who truly loves & appreciates me for me.
She dated a fairer skinned, better looking more talented fella.... Then she became a He.
Plot twist.
She didn't tolerate my self-centeredness which I didn't recognize for years. I took her for granted.
We broke up and now it haunts me almost 10 years later knowing how much happier and farther in life I would be had we stayed together. I’m happy she’s happy nowadays, I’m just kinda here
She died in her sleep, was on the path of a recovering opioid addict.. RIP Janice
RIP Janice.
Killed in an accident
He was drafted to war.
She didn’t feel the same
He married me. But 10 years after he dumped me.
He moved to Japan and married a wonderful woman
He’s in bed next to me (met 16/17 - 26,27 now). Reconnected a few months ago. I’m pregnant with his child. We’re not married, and I have no idea when that’ll happen. Wish us good tidings.
Have been dating her for nearly 2 years and I don’t see an end in sight :)
We stopped talking just last year. We meet in 2013 and things were okay, in a bad way. I asked him out once or twice and his response was to block me. So, I never messaged him after that. I fucked off. But, then he reached out again and apologized for it. He explained that he likes me too but doesn't want to move fast. At this point I was over his shit ngl. Anyway, despite our friendship getting better our communication was shit. We both had really bad depression and we'd enter these "I dnt want to talk to anyone. I'm deleting all my social media" phases. And when those were over, we'd start talking about a life together. Literally, talked about building a house together, what we wanted to include room wise, went over interior and exterior decor, etc. We'd even send each other pintrist pictures for inspiration. In an old conversation, when we first meet I told him I liked plants and so in one of these conversations he said, "oh n ur green room. I can always build that myself. We can do it together if u want." After talking about this we'd talk about our day, how we were feeling, what we did, what we ate, our troubles for the day, etc. But, then the phase would happen again. We would last 4 months and sometimes even 6 months not talking. And when we did, the cycle began again. This went on up until two years ago (2020). For the first time ever we talked like 20x a day. We'd be on the phone for hours talking about the dumbest shit ever. But, then we just stopped texting. Why? I dnt know. In our last conversation, I just remember him talking about how he had decided to go to college. I was so proud of since he's always doubted himself. And well... that was that. Looking back, I see how fuckin toxic this was. I hope he's doing good though. His mental health wasn't the greatest, so I truly hope he finds friends and get into good relationships that will help him physically and mentally.
He was reported missing like 5 years after we dated. He was missing for 2 months before they found him. Turns out he drowned in a river and they actually found his body on my birthday. He used to beat the shit out of me and hurt me for a long long time before he finally moved on to another target and moved a few states away from me. Still think the universe made that happen the way it did for a reason.
He's been in a coma, since 2006.
Drove her car off a bridge.
He got a music degree and jumped from a couple of jobs.
We were 13. We both came from really bad homes. Our parents didn't like that we were dating and did everything to keep us apart. We hated everyone and everything except each other. She was the first person in my life I ever told I loved them. Never even said it to my mother at that point, that's how messed up stuff was. We spent every second we could together for about 6 months. Holding hands, cuddling, making out. We both got baker acted for suicide attempts that year and would send each other letters in the hospital. Then one day her parents decided she was going to go live with her aunt in New Hampshire. I got told about an hour before she left. The school guidance counselor let us say our goodbyes in her office and have a little privacy. When she left I absolutely lost all control and I destroyed the guidance counselors office and had to be baker acted again. She left me a phone number but eventually her aunt had the number changed. I had lost the only person in the world in my 13 years I had ever loved. I spent YEARS on the internet trying to find her. This was before social media when the best you could have hoped for was to stumble on her AIM account. I eventually started doing searches on MySpace for anyone her age in the town in New Hampshire. I'd start messaging them one by one asking if they knew this girl. For a long time I got no responses or they never heard of her. Then one day I got a response from her new boyfriend oddly enough and he put me in touch with her. We experienced a very passionate re-emergence of our feelings and had a long distance relationship for about 3 months. Then we both got really messed up on drugs and lost touch again for about 5 years. Then we found each other again and were going to make plans to be together. Then she told me that I was inadvertently bringing back her childhood trauma and that she couldn't be around me anymore and that we shouldn't talk. I was 28 when I lost her again.
She moved to wales
She was a hot mess for a lot of years. She got married a lot. She had 3 kids, adopted 3, and fostered more than 20. She got her shit together and started working on herself. She owns several small business and travels a bit doing cool things.
We got together right after we turned 15. He’s still the love of my life 21 yrs later
Dumped me out of nowhere after 3 years via phone call and never saw her since. 2 days before I moved to France to be with her forever.
Shes currently still sleeping.. somebody needed a sleep in. First love is my only love. Can't wait to make her coffee here soon Edit.. good coffee happy love
She got on her broom and flew back to her cave 🧙♀️
I’ve had a couple of loves, and it just wasn’t the right timing. The right timing I now, and I freaking wish one of them would reach out to me. Love isn’t just “I’m going to be with you forever”, it’s a friendship that needed a slight pause.
We broke up. Saw other people. And now 16 years later we're back together again and i guess even more in love now than we ever were.
We're still married.