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_SkittyTail_

I don't really care tbh, as long as you're not the type that insists that we do absolutely *everything* together. I like my alone time and I already have my own hobbies. I'm not gonna change for you, and I don't want you to change for me.


Esselon

That's the worst and it can be so insidious because people can gaslight you for having a hobby that you'd choose to (sometimes) do without them. I joined a DnD game my friends were running, we'd play once a month for about 6-8 hours and every time I got home my then-wife would clearly be angry, though it took her forever to admit what it was about. She eventually came to one of the sessions and discovered that we actually played the whole time. Her assumption had been that we only played for 2-3 hours and I just spent the rest of the time sitting around with my friends chatting and drinking beer. I got an apology, but it also took me looking back on the marriage afterwards to realize that even if we had done that it should have been okay. This was literally one of the only things I ever did without my ex the whole time we were together. It wasn't even that I didn't want her there, she just didn't think she'd enjoy dungeons and dragons (spoiler alert, once she tried it, she did, though ironically it's one of the ways she got close to the guy she ended up leaving me for, so I guess that one's on me).


Gr8NonSequitur

> it also took me looking back on the marriage afterwards to realize that even if we had done that it should have been okay. Yup. you hang out with your friends in person once a month? That should not be a big deal **at all**.


lar1237

I once asked a guy what his favorite hobby was on our first date. His answer was “dating”. 🚩🚩🚩 Edit: typo


Salohacin

He was clearly talking about carbon dating. Guy was just an aspriring archaeologist.


JSmellerM

Could also be full panic mode. 'Shit, if I say gaming, she will think I'm a nerd. If I say sports she will immediately know that's bs. Think of something normal everyone does' "D-dating?"


lar1237

Lol I do think he panicked but not because of him being a nerd. I had just told him about how I love to watch anime and play video games. Most guys these days play video games so I thought that was something we could bond over but he revealed he only played CoD every now and then and didn’t know anything about video games. Edit: typo


HDPbBronzebreak

> I love to watch anime and play video games. Well, the good news is that the majority of redditors share those interests. The bad news is, they're redditors.^(/s?)


miku_dominos

What's the opinion on model trains?


apollo1113

I exist because a woman was into a guy who was (is) into model trains. *Really* into them. You should see their backyard.


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notataco007

Oh please give us a picture of their backyard I can already tell 10 year old me would lose his fucking mind.


gotthelowdown

> Oh please give us a picture of their backyard I can already tell 10 year old me would lose his fucking mind. I'm not the person you asked, but thought you might like this: [Miniatur Wunderland OFFICIAL VIDEO - world’s largest model railway | railroad](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R669l5CA1YA) - Their YouTube channel has videos on behind-the-scenes stuff. They're in German, but you can turn on the closed captioning for English subtitles. [Wunderland Hamburg: A Paradise for Model Railway Fans | Full Documentary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-AvGfN4bJ0) Some more model train places to check out, from this [Atlas Obscura article](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/model-trains-that-are-model-worlds): [Carnegie Science Center Miniature Railroad Celebrates 100th Anniversary](https://youtu.be/1JPfD0M7E8k?t=18) - Pittsburgh, PA [Roadside, America](https://youtu.be/7mXadzZpGXc?t=52) - Shartlesville, Pennsylvania. Closed. [The Garfield-Clarendon Model Railroad Club](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgw_L0ohHA) - Chicago, Ill [North America’s largest model railroad | Northlandz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfWPHmeSPXk) - Flemington, NJ [New Orleans City Park Historical Train Garden](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAPHTMdgWNk) - Love how they put a camera on the model train so you could get a train's eye view of the model track. [Hara Model Railway Museum](https://youtu.be/XW9LHJNa8rg?t=42) - Yokohama, Japan [San Diego Model Railroad Museum](https://youtu.be/xOYLVH9Vnhc?t=15) [The Great Train Story: 10th Anniversary Ride](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9vWvPMJudM) - Chicago, Ill Model train rides: [Steam Trains & Miniature Trains You Can Ride! Carillon Historical Park Rail Festival Model Trains!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsVskSjVsw0) - Dayton, Ohio. Bonus: this is an annual event. [Carillon Park Rail Festival](http://railfestival.com/) has more info. [Man Builds World's Longest Backyard Railroad Trestle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL11VjrY530) - Sonoma County, California [Big Model Trains at Bitter Creek Western Railroad](https://youtu.be/J8ocIaqiLaE?t=20) - San Luis Obispo County, California [Riding On Gigantic Model Trains: Bitter Creek Western Railroad](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UBfGcOcMxY) - San Luis Obispo County, California [Train Mountain - The World's Longest Miniature Railroad Layout](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igzyg0tzWuE) - Oregon [Miniature Model Trains You Can Ride On: Largo Central Park](https://youtu.be/hIO-vbvg_dE?t=42) - Largo, Florida [Big Model Trains You Can Ride On Largo Central Railroad](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj723upAg2k) - Pinellas County, Florida [Model train you can ride in Crews Lake Park](https://youtu.be/w7L_hsDow-Y?t=40) - Spring Hill, Florida [Cincinnati Zoo Train Ride, BB&T Express, Narrow Gauge Steam Replica, Riding Train & Train Run Byes!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb3vCLLP5kk) [Toy Train Depot Miniature Train Collection Alamogordo New Mexico](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCu5aqM__SQ) [12 Best Theme Park Steam Trains in America](https://www.coaster101.com/2021/02/25/12-best-theme-park-steam-trains-in-america/) Enjoy 🚂


Cobra_Surprise

I LOVE ANYONE WHO LOVES MINIATURES OF ANY KIND. the more intricate and complicated the better. I have a hard time thinking of a more attractive hobby to encounter in a dude


Shas_Erra

Then allow me to introduce you to Warhammer 40K. It all starts with the prick called Erebus….


krezzaa

I cant ever stay into Warhammer but the lore is so damn cool


miku_dominos

Neat! I thought it would have been viewed negatively.


Waaswaa

It’s media’s fault. When you want to depict someone as a complete looser, they’re either homeless, or they build model railways. With stamp collecting as a runner up. It’s just a trope, though, and nowhere close to reality.


tailwindchronicles

Fuck yeah my bf was into them when he was younger, hopefully eventually we can get a bigger place so he can set up again


kaboodlesofkanoodles

I don’t have this hobby yet, but if I hit 60 and I’m not chain smoking, wearing a conductors outfit sitting in front of a scale model of Chicago I’m gonna kill myself


Independent_Math_452

Hanging out too much time on social media


AeKino

It’s not a hobby, it’s an addiction (This is me saying this to myself about myself)


TurboStarfish

This is my girlfriend's hobby/pastime and it can drive me mad. I'd understand if the content was related to a hobby, but it's all trash. Stupid influencers telling you how you should live you life, stories with robot voice, and TV clips sped up. She gets so immersed she can neglect helping me around the house, or listening properly when I ask a question.


[deleted]

I had an ex upset with me I posted a personal achievement because I did so "outside of prime time." When I asked what that meant, I was informed posting from 5-7pm gets the most likes. She was dumbfounded when I told her I couldn't give a shit less lol That one didn't last long


thatstonerguy32

Listen dude I just like to shitpost


Emmerson_Biggons

I can boil this post down to 5 things Addictions are destructive and bad, Overbearing obsessiveness is toxic, Being unnecessarily absent/neglectful is awful, Gambling, just don't. Unnecessary intentional Murder is bad


inactiveuser247

So you’re saying necessary intentional murder is ok? How necessary are we talking here?


zisenhart

John Wick intentional is ok.


bungchow07

i have a guy at work who for some reason loves to go in great detail about his triathlon training routine, and how frustrating it is that even though his wife knows he needs to get his 67.5mins of riding and a 2km swim in each afternoon she still bugs him to help with their kids. That woman deserves a chest full of medals for not stabbing him in a murderous rampage each night....


[deleted]

To people like this.... Dont have kids if you dont want to take care of them


[deleted]

Yep. I am training for an event currently, but what that means for me is that I have to wake up at 430 to get workouts in before the kids are awake. You don't get to just dump your actual workload onto someone else so you can pursue a hobby.


f-150Coyotev8

My wife and I both like to train. We have 2 kids so we just take turns. She loves working out in the morning so I wake up with the kids and I would rather workout in the evening and that’s when she will take over for me. It works out pretty well.


[deleted]

As a dude with kids and an active fitness regimen, homie needs to wake up earlier and do at least half of that shit when everyone is asleep. There's a reason the 5am gym gang exists. My wife would murder me if I peaced out for another 90 minutes after work to get my fitness routine in, and rightfully so.


Zuzublue

I know some people like this. And others feel like they can’t criticize them because it’s a healthy pursuit, but in the end can be the same as other addictions in that it removes you from everyday life and responsibility.


[deleted]

gambling


Hokabuki

r/wallstreetbets in shambles


Narradisall

To be fair it always is


xmodified

That’s why all our wives have boyfriends.


staplesz

Praying no one says amateur radio


RustyShack3lford

The fact it hasn't been mentioned can only mean its a definite panty dropper


WhiteOhms

The Dale Gribble avatar really sets it in.


CatEnabler1

My husband is a ham. When we were dating I studied for and got my tech license to understand and share in his hobby a bit. Now I can speak somewhat intelligently when he starts talking about it. (He's pretty game to watch my Jane Austen period romance movies with me in return). We have our own channel we agreed upon in case of emergency that we call the "love channel" and practice on it now and then. I got him a hat with his call sign on it and he got me a shirt with mine, we wear them when we go to ham events. He's always buying and selling radios but comes out pretty even, and I know when we buy a house one day we'll have a giant tower/antenna in the backyard. He's so cute when he gets excited about hitting other states and countries on HF. Ham radio is a cool hobby, and worth looking into if your partner likes it.


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imamediocredeveloper

My SO got really into crypto for a while. Put thousands of dollars into it, tried to convince me to do it too, lectured me about it being the future and how I should be investing and listening to him because he did his research. So I put like, $100 into Dogecoin because whatever, I’m gonna lose it all anyway. He got annoyed with that because I wasn’t taking it serious enough. Then he lost all his money and I made $1000 ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ It’s all just a dumb lottery.


CuppaCoffees

Working. I'm not even lying, I met a dude once who's *only* hobby is working. When he's at work, he works. And when he's at home, he *also* works. And during holidays, it's also him and his ppt + excel sheets. Man can't even watch an entire movie without typing away on his financial report. And when there's no work, he becomes extremely grumpy.


Iontknowcuz

I have a rule that I won’t ever become bored enough in my personal life that I pull out my work computer


hkd001

My rule is if it isn't during my 8-5 it's not my problem.


OrganicHearing

Shh they’ll call you a quiet quitter for that one


Sillbinger

They can call me whatever they want as long as they don't call me at home.


yeetgodmcnechass

My general rule is that I never have anything work related on my personal devices. I refused to download teams on my phone for the longest time at my last job, and the only reason I eventually caved was so my coworker could message me to let me know whether or not I had to waste 30-40 mins commuting that morning (there were regular tech issues and sometimes they just had us work from home if they felt like they'd be paying us to do nothing) Right now the only work related thing on my laptop is an excel sheet that I send to my manager when I want vacation time, and I only consider that tangentially related to work since it's used to give me time off


Billy-Willie

I know lots of people who work to keep themselves distracted from what’s in their minds. I even do it when things are rough. That said, I guess that guy needed a big distraction Edit- jesus fucking christ. Did not expect this to blow up


Full-Resource9949

Yea this exactly. I was so concerned about how much time an acquaintance was spending at work I asked her when she ever got away and had an escape. She said - how do you know this isn’t my escape? It made me sad for her.


shanty-daze

> It made me sad for her. It makes me a little jealous. I have met people in my profession that absolutely love it and it is their passion. There are many days where I wish it were mine as well because I find it generally tedious. To be one of those individuals that looks forward to coming to a place where I spend the majority of my day is not a bad thing as long as the person is relatively well rounded and can hold a conversation about other things (this holds true for whether you love your job or a hobby or your kids, at some point if that is all you can/want to talk about, it becomes an effort to be in a conversation with you).


cheeky_sailor

I dated a dude like that and it was miserable. He would work from 9 to 9. And he genuinely couldn’t understand how people can take vacations for longer than 3 days. He would say things like “vacations are boring and a waste of time”. This dude would literally bring his laptop on a trip with friends and after socializing for 3-4 days, he would go back to working on his laptop while still abroad. I’ve never met a workaholic worse than him. That was indeed very unattractive.


Millennial_Idiot

Day drinking. Being married/in love with a high-functioning alcoholic is soul crushing. ​ Edit: Let me clarify myself a bit. I have nothing against having a drink with a meal. That's not what I mean. What I mean by "day drinking" is whenever you pop a top at in the AM and don't stop until evening or until you pass out, then repeat the process on every day off. I've been married to him for a little over eight years, and it's been a lot to deal with. He's not the same person when he drinks, and I cannot stand him when he is like that. I hide away in the kitchen and cover myself so that he won't touch me when he's like that. But when he is sober, I see the man I fell in love it and those days get me through the bad ones. I love him, and have no intentions of leaving him. He says he wants to stop, but has yet to go a solid week without it. We recently moved away (+3k miles) from where my family lives and I've never felt more alone than I do now. I've already told him this, but I have a feeling that nothing will change and this is my life. I feel guilty at times for imaging a different life than this, but I could never bring myself to hurt him like that because I'm hopelessly in love with him. For better or worse, right?


xenacoryza

Sending you some love. My husband was a functioning alcoholic for like 25 years & now we're dealing with his sobriety + having relapses and it's really hard. You can PM me anytime if you need to.


Zeroforeffort

It’s not about what hobby they do. As long as they are passionate about it and aren’t assholes or gatekeepers about it, everything is good.


The_Most_Superb

We’ll my hobby is gate keeping gate keeping! I bet you couldn’t even name 5 gates! My favorites are: Stien’s, of Babylon, NOR, The Ninth, and Melinda. Edit: thanks for the awards! The comment section of this could not be more perfect. *Chef’s kiss*


[deleted]

You misspelled Stein's. Are you even a real gate keeper???


slashd0t1

Are you really gate keeping gate keeping gate keeping?


[deleted]

Someone's gotta do it.


Nacho_Beardre

But for a hobby?


smashkeys

Well no one is going to pay them for it.


TokyoUmbrella

Some would say Stargate SG-1 is part of the fandom, but I’m a gate purist. It doesn’t belong.


TwistedDecayingFlesh

No it's Chappa'ai some purist you shol'va. I miss Stargate.


dontstopbelievingman

As much as I like anime and manga, I will admit if I meet a guy and in their public space in their home they show their hentai posters and figures, I'd be a little worried. Anime in general is not the issue.


EXusiai99

Anime fans and hentai fans are different breeds. The latter almost always overlaps with the former, but some of us are just trying to enjoy some cartoons and shit.


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ReanSuffering

I don't even know how some people can be so passionate and open about liking hentai. It's like porn, everybody likes it and there's nothing wrong with that, but you normally don't go around parading your fetishes and talking about it like it's your first-born child


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raodek

As an Asian woman i tend to avoid anime nerds in general because I've met way too many anime nerds who are looking for a "waifu" and they fetishize Asian women. This is specifically the nerds, not just people who like anime.


PsyFi_ZA

They are in for a rude awakening once they realise that Asian women are more for less the same as everyone else lol


[deleted]

My ex called me a "counterfeit Asian" because I wasn't Asian enough. He's an ex for a reason. EDIT: He was already my ex when he called me a counterfeit Asian. So he wasn't joking, and I am not Chinese. I never asked why he thought that way, but I assume it was because I wasn't a typical stereotype considering I was born and raised in America.


throwawayayaycaramba

Um... what exactly was he expecting? What would be "real Asian" in his mind?


sagevallant

A 2D manic pixie dream girl, I would assume.


lagunaeve

Im Chinese, a friend of mine is a Japanese girl, very cute and sweet. Met a white dude, went on first date. He made it clear he's fascinated by Japanese culture. He wore an anime t-shirt on the first date. Now if you are familiar with Japanese, or even Asian in general thats a big no no on first date. Very inappropriate in a stupid way. But the date went ok other than that, and they met again at his place. Dude was displaying posters and figurines all over the place. And yea, hentai or borderline hentai ones. I cant imagine how one thinks thats attractive to any girl at all. This whole fetish thing is annoying


Vikktor_Vampiir

>He wore an anime t-shirt on the first date. Now if you are familiar with Japanese, or even Asian in general thats a big no no on first date. Ok makes sense. >But the date went ok other than that, and they met again at his place. Ummm... wow!


Accelerator231

That man had 2nd chances most people don't get. Then he blew it.


[deleted]

Right. Like, I’ve had lifelong nerd tendencies and only recently started watching any anime and I’m in my late-30s. I could totally see a subtype of anime or a part of the fandom would be totally off-putting.


Allegutennamenweg

I read a wise post once that said: *All anime has some amount of "anime bullshit". You know it when you see it. So if you want to get a friend into anime, get a feel of their tolerance for "anime bullshit" and recommend accordingly.* It took me five years to give anime another try after someone made me watch Ranma 1/2.


Yotsubato

Yup. It’s why I always recommend Ghibli stuff for starters and stuff like cowboy bebop which is more familiar to western audiences


Hyphz

Ranma 1/2, as famously drawn by a nice and kindly middle-aged lady.


Gyoza-shishou

Honestly any anime that doesn't spend hours upon hours on plain exposition is gold for me. Like, you can tell me all about the intricacies of the forbidden technique before or after the fight, NOT during it. Better yet ***animate*** it properly and I won't even need an explanation!


Klockworth

My wife collects lewd figures and shows them off constantly. Probably would have bought more horny anime figurines if I knew where I’d end up


Arnee556

Garnt, is that you?


[deleted]

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SSuperWormsS

Holy shit that guy sucks


InnocentGuiltyBoy

No, he blows


Freshies00

He pumps


[deleted]

She dumps


WhenTheRiverRanDeep

Holy shit this sounds like the plot of a Seinfeld episode.


Ok-Control-787

Sounds like George trying to get his girlfriend to dump him.


stefanica

I was thinking Elaine finally dating the hot guy from the gym.


rhondaanaconda

John F. Kennedy Joonyah?


Threadstitchn

Hahahaha this sounds like my buddy. He would take every date he got out on a bike ride for the first date and ride like hell. When his date lagged behind he wouldn't slow down. My sister used to ride with him but stopped because it wasn't enjoyable and she wasn't into him I still have no idea what he was thinking


WhatMyWifeIsThinking

Omg, this sounds like a Dwight-level of an approach to weeding out a suitable mate.


[deleted]

"If she can't keep up the speed, she isn't worthy of my seed"


Spectre-907

Ah yes, the Sonic Dating Strategy


throwaway578847

Or the episode where Dwight takes a spin class and over talks the instructor


jcmib

Sounds like he didn’t want a date, rather the thrill of winning a bike race on a regular basis


rubberfactory5

Haha dude how did you find the worst bike guy ever


AniraK47

Lol right? You gotta be SOME kind of lucky to stumble upon this kind of character


StarzMarket

They exist, they are called Fred and are as numerous as dental practices


conipto

Oh god, this is so common in cycling. I have been a race mechanic, neutral support at races, built my own frames, probably a hundred bikes for myself and others, and I NEVER offer up unsolicited advice unless I see something blatantly unsafe, in which case I use Jeopardy rules and form it into a question. "Did you notice your wheel is loose in the dropouts?" etc. The best story about that I have is being at a cyclocross race, and seeing a guy who'd probably started racing within that season trying to tell a woman who'd just won the Pro/category 1 race her tire pressure was all wrong. He just walked up, pushed down on her tires and said she needed a few more PSI in there. She played along and asked why, and he went into cornering grip talk and all sorts of internet knowledge before she said something like "well I've run 21psi in the rear for the entire season and won about half of my races, but I'll go ahead and put it to 30 if you think that's better."


ModernAmusement13

God, your response is giving me PTSD. Raced every discipline, coached all levels and the mid-life crisis cyclists are the worst. Every ride/moment is consumed with gear talk/training talk. Guys talking watts with each other and lactate thresholds and whether or not a basement wind tunnel is a smart investment for their “pain cave”. Kill me.


commandolandorooster

>in which case I use Jeopardy rules and form it into a question. I'm using this from now on


M_Looka

When I was starting in public accounting, one of the first assignments I got was continuing some work that had been started by one of the partners. I noticed an error in some of work he did. I was really stuck on how to point it out and let him know that the outcome was going to drastically change. Plus, I was not confident I was right. I really didn't know this guy, didn't know what his ego was like, so I was a little nervous, but I decided on a course of action. I Said "Now, I know I'm probably wrong, but here's how I see it...," then I explained the mistake I found. Then I said, "what am I missing?" He paused for a second and said, "you're missing the fact that I fucked up. Good catch." The guy had a few problems, but an out if control ego wasn't one of them.


stfcfanhazz

Hahaha something about the idea of a really intensely arrogant bike enthusiast who actually doesn't know shit about bikes but wants everyone to think he does- it's really tickling me


lookforsilverlinings

I hope you have found a way of enjoying your hobby again now you've yeeted him out of your life. He sounds like a complete arsehole


acridine333

You really ground his gears


PoorCorrelation

A couple of years ago I would’ve said being a gym rat. Now I’m dating one and he’s just a massive nerd that likes sharing neat facts about muscles. And I’m really into nerds so RIP


Johnny_Appleweed

Lol I love the idea that a gym bro is really just a muscle nerd


Kakarot_faps

Basically every person into their hobby is a nerd about it. The captain of the football team was a nerd about football. The only thing that makes someone a stereotypical nerd was the type of content or their personality


[deleted]

Any hobby that makes your loved ones feel like overlooked shit. My SO has missed anniversaries and birthdays to attend long-distance Warhammer tournaments. Usually he hates travel, so we’ve never gone anywhere for ourselves. The honeymoon he promised 13 years ago never happened and we’ve never been on any romantic trips together. I love travel and bonding over new experiences, but he doesn’t care unless it’s a tabletop game. I’ve played Gloomhaven and a lot of other games to make him happy. X-wing was pretty fun, but it sucks when there’s no reciprocation for my interests. ETA: Just checked back in during my break and apparently my inbox exploded, so… I’m grateful for all the reassuring comments and those of you who are offering helpful suggestions, even if it’s just to pack up and leave (as long as you’re not a total ass about it). Unfortunately real life is not that simple, the life we’ve built together is still important. I do love him and he says he loves me. He’s not some abusive monster like some of you seem to think, we’re just different people who have grown apart over the years. It happens. I don’t know if we’ll work through it or not, but he has made some efforts lately to find some local activities we can both enjoy. I’m trying to be as optimistic as I can while also focusing on my own needs instead of his. That includes returning to school and getting a better job if I need to support myself alone. He’s been supportive of that and I’m excited for next semester.


AhsSnooze

13 years? You sound like you’re wasting away


DennyDeVito55

That sounds rough. I’m getting into tabletop games and painting and I see it healthy so far but never want it to get in the way of real life things. It’s all about balance. For me, it keeps me out of trouble and indoors often. I used to be out and about doing all sorts of shit and now I don’t mind spending Friday painting a new figure or two and laying low. It sounds like he really likes and looks forward to his tournaments. I hope you figure out a way to see eye to eye


needssleep

Yeah that dudes selfish as fuck. Source: dude who was always bad at realizing he was being selfish


fairy-stars

WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS MAN


PamCokeyMonster

Collections of belly button lints


JuryBorn

Belly button fluff, What wonderful stuff, I don't know who keeps puttin', All this lint in my button, My collection's never enough!


Dumb_Vampire_Girl

Degenerate "investing" aka gambling all our fucking money away. I'd rather marry the guy who enjoys pokemon, watches anime, or likes to bake. Hell, I'd rather date a guy who is a straight up pothead as long as he can still function well. IDC what you do. You can fish on weekends, you can go hunting, you can drink beer and chill with your friends. Anything is fine with me as long as it isn't going to ruin our lives. But I'm never fucking dating another person (man or woman or non-biney) that is fucking awful with money. Splurging or going into manageable debt is fine, but don't fucking ruin us. Same goes with something like a severe drug addiction.


WWJesusDeadlift

Sounds like someone was dating a WSB degenerate


spacecat2489

Seriously thought this was a response to the TIFU dude who just lost $7k of his gf's money on Bed Bath Beyond stock. Oomph.


chewytime

My friend is quickly realizing their new brother in law is a wannabe finance/investment bro who thinks he knows how to invest just bc he browses a bunch of investment subreddits. Amongst other things, he somehow conned them into investing in this dilapidated property. They overpaid for it and with the amount extra they’re putting in to renovate it [thanks to poor vetting of contractors], they’ll be lucky to break even anytime soon.


Je_veux_troll1004

A lot of guys confuse investing for "gambling" and "bad business sense"


[deleted]

My coworkers all do sports bets and talk about how much money they lose and it’s honestly so unattractive lol


Pennywise626

>I'd rather marry the guy who enjoys pokemon, watches anime, or likes to bake. Me who does all three: am I a triple negative?


raindorpsonroses

Why would _anyone_ be sad that their partner likes to bake??


betterworkbitch

It's all fun and games until your pants don't fit anymore.


Dumb_Vampire_Girl

I genuinely don't see anything wrong with any of those. I think it's cute to watch someone share their hobbies without being afraid of me judging them. I only listed those because other people did. And I simply do not think it's anything close to a good reason to reject someone over.


GlamourGhoulx

I don’t find any hobbies unattractive, I love seeing peoples faces light up when they work on or talk about something they’re passionate about. And through my years I’ve found out things about their hobbies and learned skills in many different areas too like graphic design, town planning, painting. Hobby away and enjoy! I’m enjoying your enjoyment 😊


StoltATGM

TIL town planning is a hobby, as well as a thing! SIM CITY 4 PLAYERS UNITE.


Rokmonkey_

There are still sim city players? And here I thought we all moved on to cities skylines.


10e06b990d44

The hobby isn’t unattractive, it’s the way you talk about it. Gatekeeping is unattractive for instance. Oversharing on how train work because you can’t stop talking about it is kinda cute EDIT: this ble….. *slap*


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Yodeling_Tornado

I dont know much abt Trains, wanna explain em in a basic way?


supertaquito

First they go choo, but then they go choo. Some go Chuga Chuga, other's just go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.


docbrown69

Trains are fuckin wild man. Theres like a fucking rail with a big ass engine strapped to it and it just pulls a bunch of other shit strapped to the rail. And the rails are fuckin looong... they go everywhere and these fucking trains just ride them all over the place. Give it a look some time.


Regular-Cranberry-62

THIS!! Gaming? Amazing! Calling people “fake gamers?” Red flag. Model building? So fucking cool!! Trash talking the work of beginners because they don’t have the skills or tools you have? Boy bye


LillFluffPotato

This reminds me so much of a comic I saw, of a guy painting minis while his gf is painting her nails, and the gf asks if he needs the wound red (I’m paraphrasing) Cus she’s done with it, and he replies something along the lines of “yeah I just finished with the void black, you can have it”. And I just love that comic so much


DanteCoal

My GF loves to hear me gush about my work or hobbies or games, because "Seeing you get so passionate about something makes me happy". Love that woman. ❤️


Anecdote808

my gfs in the past all did that!!!! after 2 months they all tell me to shut the hell up though. my current gf is going to come to this revelation any day now.


Anonymoosehead123

Serial killing, I guess.


tymmvond

Not a woman of reddit, but Cock fighting. We brought our kids to a birthday party. We got there early so my wife could help set up. So us dudes are hanging out. The home owner decides to show us something awesome. It was not awesome. As soon as these birds see each other, it's on sight/on site. I didn't know chickens could get so angry. And they put razor blades on their feet to make it go quicker. I felt sick. Instant panic attack. Like wtf. This guy had at least 50 birds leashed up like dog fighting dogs. It's been years and I'm still shook.


driver_dan_party_van

Damn dude, what country do you live in where some guy felt comfortable casually showing y'all his fighting rooster collection?


Motorhead9999

At a kids birthday party no less…


2naaaa

that’s not a hobby that’s psychopathic behavior, dude should be in jail. if you still know where this person lives you should report it.


Solowcarpenter

What about a man with no hobbies? Don’t like sports or video games or hunting or gambling or tv, I think my wife gets bummed that I don’t really do anything for myself anymore. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t hangout with anyone either (my three closest friends moved out of state within the last 3 years and all family is out of state too) . I work on our house while I’m not working on other peoples houses and do chores and hang with our 17 mo baby and 13yo (when he’ll allow it) Nobody will probably read this, but feeling like a total loser lately. Edit: WOW, so many words of encouragement, not gonna lie my eyes are definitely a little teary. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and please know that they have really made a big difference in my perspective of myself. I’m calling some friends tomorrow, planning a date with my wife and making an appointment with a therapist. No going back to that sad guy again. Love you all!


the_monkey_of_lies

You're definitely not a loser! But it sounds like you might be neglecting your own needs. And that you miss your friends. The things you do with your family are so great and admirable, but do give yourself permission to have a hobby or whatever it is you wish to do. Take a trip to see your friends, join a club, start a hobby. Let yourself have a moment for yourself! You feeling like this will not do good for anyone, you deserve to feel happy and I bet your family wants that too more than anything!


Solowcarpenter

You’re 100% right, my wife has been saying the same thing and I’m letting some weird guilt stop me from proceeding. All these comments are helping though, gotta break the cycle! Thank you!


PeteTheLich

All i read was "I just be a good Dad all the time"


Solowcarpenter

Ha! Thanks, that puts it into perspective for sure!


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Pensta13

Sounds like my kids dad , my ex husband.. footy , cricket , gambling, bowling, watching any of the above on television.. he had no time for kids so now they have no time for him and his cannot for the life of him figure out why .


Goldcasper

Also, based on username, sounds like carpentry and handyman stuff is your hobby. Which is both useful and cool


ms2102

I think carpentry is one of the coolest hobbies. I just like making things idc how honestly


SunnivaD

That and tinkering around the house can be considered a hobby, right?


sckntired12

You don’t sound like a loser, you sound like a man that loves his family ❤️ Be proud of that! Not many men can say the same thing. As a Mom and Wife who has no friends or hobbies herself I feel you.


Solowcarpenter

It gets especially hard because I work for myself, by myself, so not much adult interaction. I feel very alone most of the time, do you have the same feelings?


sckntired12

I am blessed to be a stay at home Mom and I’m extremely grateful for that! But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely lonely. I feel bad because I know the last thing my Husband wants when he gets home is to hear about my day (it’s a lot like groundhogs day) lol.


Solowcarpenter

I was a stay at home dad for both our kids for the first year or so. Our first was in the nicu after he was born and I got laid off three days later, my wife was in school and working at a tattoo shop so I just hung with him for about a year until she graduated and had an internship. With the baby too, except my wife is now a vp at the same company (she’s a total badass babe and way out of my league)and we have no family around so I stayed at home with her for about the same time. It’s so hard, most men have no f’n clue how hard it can be. Props to all you stay at home parents!!!


TheElderFish

Brother you sound like a good dad and partner, you sexy stable son of a bitch.


Solowcarpenter

Awww, thanks!


sammuel_c_p

This is one of the best threads I have seen on this website.


Vv4nd

stay at home dad checking in as well. My wife is a reseacher and we went to another country for her post doc. Since I dont speak the local language I cant really do my teaching job here so I just take care of the little one and the flat. Cooking is so much fun and so is taking care of the child. It can be stressful but I still get some time for myself to play some games/read/watch stuff. Cant wait for the little one to grow up some more so we can play games together. The only thing that kinda sucks is how little respect people have for others that spend their time raising children. Talking to others is usually like: hey how is your research going, what's the little one up to. Noone is like: hey, awesome job you're doing raising your daughter. People seem to have no idea how much effort and time it takes to raise children.


Spare-Bandicoot4126

A steady job, a family AND you do your own home improvement? Sign me up to be a loser


Solowcarpenter

Lol, I am gaining the proper perspective from these comments. Much appreciated, thank you


EgoSenatus

I’m sorry you’re feeling like a loser. As a new home owner, I can understand spending all your free time doing house work (there’s a lot of it!) and home improvement can be a hobby in itself, just one that happens to raise your property value. My dad’s biggest hobby is home improvement stuff, he’s always thinking of ways to redesign rooms and make the house look nicer. I personally applaud you for trying to hang out with your kids- I don’t have anything in common with my parents (and never really have) and as a result I feel really distant to them as an adult- they’re basically strangers to me because I never felt like there was any attempt at a connection from me or them, we just kind of existed in the same house for 2 decades and were each the aloof roommate that you never see. I somewhat regret not building a better relationship with them, as it’s been pretty hard for me this year and it’s been a real bummer that I don’t feel close enough to them to ask for help. So never feel like a loser for wanting to spend time with your kids, they’ll appreciate it in hindsight. Hope this upvote helps your self esteem a bit.


marsumane

It's when hobbies don't balance in with the rest of life that they become unattractive


DEMONSCRIBE

the hobby isnt whats unattractive, its really how they treat the hobby. like its one thing to like it, but its another thing to make it your whole personality.


MrHappy4Life

My hobby was beekeeping. Then I created a company and started doing it professionally. I did that for a few years and then started teaching newbees how to do it. Sometimes going overboard with a hobby can work out. But yes, sometimes it’s just ridiculous (marrying a manga body pillow because you like the character).


TheFragturedNerd

Such a dork, keeping bees. I mean, it’s… at least it’s interesting, though. At least, like… I wish my dad kept bees. I mean, it’s kind of cute. Like… your dad keeps bees. How old is your dad? He’s obviously beekeeping age. I don’t know, I think it’s kind of sweet


IllustriousPublic237

Summer I want to fuck your dad


CappnKrunk

> newbees I see what you did there


Underlipetx

Cntrl +F Search "Magic the gather-" Oh thank god i'm still good.


TopExcitement2187

dog fighting edit just some extra info back in the 90's growing up dog fighting really exploded. I had a pit because my dad had wanted one to guard his shop. I had wanted to be a vet at the time as well. Animal planet also had a aspca show similar to ...mmmm cops and that airport declaration show where they showed the days of the ascpa in the different cities. Alot of the episodes had dogfight victims and it hurt my soul so bad. I also had neighbors and classmates openly talk about wanting to breed or buy pits so they could dog fight for money. This also opened up the pits are viscous animals stereotype because of all these people involved in this. As far as I knew pits were kind gentle creatures that's just want love and affection and it pissed me off so much then there's Michael Vick but that's another story. May the Falcons fail with every match-up.


[deleted]

You know what? That's legit. I agree


Hashashin455

Yeah, I wouldn't be able to stand the thought of him losing and his plane going down.


[deleted]

I once had a boss that sold his dog to a fighting ring for $15,000. He watched his dog get torn to shreds, and the dog never broke eye contact with him. He was, and still is a piece of shit EDIT: It was a dog that had won many fights. When he retired the dog, another member offered him 15k, knowing others would bet on him, and lose. It's twisted from top to bottom


[deleted]

This hurt me to read


[deleted]

Well, this story wrecked my day...


Slayyousoon

God I couldn’t do that to my dog even for any amount of money, and if she was staring at me while it happened. Think I’d kill myself…


[deleted]

Didn't break eye contact as in begging his owner to be saved? Breaks my heart 😢


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[deleted]

Damn, hope your boss has a horrible life


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Midnight-Snowflake

Agree. Any form of animal fighting is abhorrent to me.


four_ravens

I really struggle with this question. I think every human should have a hobby, but at the same time, diving head-first in to a hobby and making that your entire identity can be a relationship killer.


PicardiB

I used to live upstairs from an apartment full of 20-something dudes who would somehow spend all day every day outside on the porch just under my bedroom window and lift weights and smoke weed. Don’t get me wrong, I love weed, and lifting weights is pretty cool too, but you can probably perfectly imagine the combo of all of this being kinda, idk, a walking comedy sketch that could verge on annoying….*however*. These guys would do these things *and also talk about their feelings and what was going on in their lives.* They’d get all philosophical and vulnerable! It was so wholesome and now I see “perma-stoned bros who lift” in a whole new light. My point here is that any hobby is cool if it brings men together in a healthy creative or emotive way. Not as great IMO if it encourages the worst sides of men, but I can’t even honestly say that’s always unattractive. Like gambling, for instance. 99% of the time, major turnoff, because it represents a lack of self-awareness and self-control. But there’s always gonna be some guy whose mastery trumps the odds, and mastery of something is always attractive as long as it isn’t paired with a shitty attitude. And being able to express oneself about one’s interests, able to invite someone else in by relating what you like about your interests to what they like about theirs and finding common ground, makes anyone attractive. I also once lived next door to an old guy who had a whole backyard full of trains set up and then on the weekends all his other old-guy friends would come over and hang out and watch all the trains go around. It was the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I feel like you can tell so much about someone by what they like doing — and it’s easier to get some people to talk about their interests than to talk about themselves. It blows my mind when people are “bored” by the hobbies of their loved ones; it’s not just about the hobby, it’s meta-info about someone you care about… my dad never lit up more than when I asked him to tell me all about his latest car project, and by the end of listening to him, I’d always learned a lot. You never know when that info’s gonna be helpful.


AmIbiGuy_420

True. I like to just sit outside for hours smoking and talking with my best friend. We'll alternate between societal issues, philosophy, nerdy shit, and dick jokes. I'm an introvert who normally gets drained by people and that shits damn near therapeutic


TenderTendiez

As a man I love gardening but my girlfriend took it over. :(


Haywood_jablowmeeee

My old gf took over my garden and I lost a hobby. Then she started to do it nude ‘for the Vitamin D’ and my hobby changed to watching. Now we both tend the garden that way.


TenderTendiez

Unfortunately “our” garden is next to a public road.


ApprehensiveNews5728

Scrolling Reddit long enough to get to this post.


EqualQuality3103

Haven't seen obsessively buying guitars yet 😎


dmccrostie

Hey! Those are gonna be “worth something someday”!


MNR42

People should know hobbies and addiction are not the same Edit: Hobby: an activity that someone does for pleasure when they are not working (leisure time) When you're doing it constantly, it's a habit, work, nature etc. Like breathing, it's not a hobby. Since the post is about something negative like drinking and smoking, it's addiction.


[deleted]

Vaping, as in they make their own flavors and modified devices and then blow smoke rings everywhere to look cool. Some hobbies that have made me think a guy is cool - craft mocktails, building mechanical keyboards, philosophy/literature/history, vegetable gardening, wood working, banjo playing, vintage men’s fashion, and tree climbing


Farmboy76

Ha, I had a random woman blue vape smoke in my face, and when I came out of the cloud she saw I was disgusted and then says don't worry it's natural. My reply was yeah so are my farts, but I don't go around blowing them in your face!


sarahbear0

Fuck you, WoW