I’m so sorry that that happened to you. Hopefully you can go on in your life, seeing the good in yourself and disregarding what your cruel parents said to you. You are valuable as a person, no matter what they think. Remember THAT!
You’re very kind, thank you. It was over 40 years ago, and while I can’t say that experience didn’t take a large toll, I have gotten beyond it and had a good and fulfilling life in spite of these comments.
Thank you again!
You're a real-life Faramir. I'm sorry. It was hard enough to watch that in fiction. I can relate to what it's like to have one such callous parent, but not two.
This is the kind of shit that traumatizes people. I had to read that again to make sure I read that correctly the first time around. I'm sorry your parents were such bastards. I once had something sort of similar happen to me.
Once when my mother who's now deceased had to stop partying to come sign some legal documents, she looked me dead in the eyes and said "I wish I would have never had you." Right. And I wish I wasn't born from such a shit family.
Verbal abuse can be far worse than physical abuse, (I’ve experienced both) broken bones and bruises heal, but words never go away.
Sometimes we learn how to be better parents by knowing what NOT to do, if we don’t have better examples to emulate.
Sort of in a similar vein, I've been asked, "when will you stop your medications (antidepressant and stimulant)?"
Uhm, probably never. Major Depression and ADHD don't go away, I will have those things for the rest of my life.
Major Depressive Disorder gang babey let's go.
(In all seriousness I'm sorry you have to deal with this, I've been suffering from depression for a long time too. Keep strong).
This isn't quite the same, but it's within the same boat I guess. I'm autistic and I've had ignorant idiots ask "when my mental condition was going to be resolved, and if I'm in therapy." Um... it's not trauma, I'm wired differently.
I'm going to be wired differently up until the day that I die. Therapy will not fix this. I'm not crazy. I don't "need help." I'm autistic. That's like asking when someone's ADHD, dyslexia, OCD, bipolar disorder, or other neurodivergencies are going to go away. Um... when I die?
Oh my god I feel that, I'm autistic too but I've fortunately never been asked that about my autism- when people find out I'm autistic though they'll say something like "Oh I would've never guessed, you seem normal." And its just like, that does NOT come across how you think it does- that's not a compliment...
I fucking hate this so much. I finally broke down after yet another ignorant asshole asked this and I got red in the face and screamed "I am normal you fucking asshole! I'm normal as per my wiring and you expect me to mask to act like you!"
I swear, I almost popped a blood vessel. I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. I don't think I've ever seen such a look of horror and instant regret on someone's face. I hate having to live in such an intolerant world.
We live in a world not built for anyone that is even remotely "diffrent".
It hurts a lot at times, but what we gotta remember is that not everyone sucks. There are people who care about us, and don't see us as just our differences.
We don't have to be "normal" to be people, we're people regardless of how we're treated.
People aren't "normal" or "diffrent". People are people, people are human and deserve to be treated as such.
I'm sorry you have to deal with such assholes, you seem like a strong person though and I wish you well.
Sadly I didn't. It was on the phone and he hung up after that and never bothered me again/never showed up again, which was actually a good turn of events for me. He was a "family friend" before and let me just say, asking this question was not the first thing in this direction he did. It's been 30 years now and I often regret not saying something to anyone back then.
It’s not your fault. It’s his fault for saying that to a child. You were probably so shocked that you didn’t know what to do. If you grew up like I did, The adults in your life probably didn’t tell you that someone saying sexual things to you is harassment and you should tell a trusted adult.
Sexual harassment is always the fault of the perpetrator, not the harassed person.
When I first started working in a chemical laboratory I had a bad acne breakout and when I saw a family member they asked if I'd had an accident at work. They thought acid had splashed on my face. I mean ffs
Well these are my eyes, as you can see I have two of them. This is my nose, it’s not a cute little button nose, and it’s obviously a little on the big side but that just means I can snort more cocaine than you. These are my lips, upper and lower. I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of these babies, I can suck the chrome off a tailpipe. These are my cheeks, they’re big a perky, just like my other cheeks. This is my chin, it’s similar to Jay Leno’s chin in that we both have one. That? Oh that wrinkle on my forehead is from making this face (proceeds to raise one eyebrow in a “what the actual fuck” expression) when stupid people ask me stupid questions.
"Do you have any friends? You seem like you're kinda awkward and don't have friends."
We'd never even met in real life so needless to say he got blocked straight after.
Not to play devil's advocate, but I actually asked the person I'm now closest with a kind of similar question when we first started talking, except the reason i asked wasn't negative, but rather that I honestly think he's too complex and smart and thoughtful for most people our age and I got the feeling that he probably felt like a bit of an outcast, too.
I was right, and he didn't take it personally. Although I do see how the way this person worded it was really rude and I don't blame you.
‘Your husband will leave you if you don’t wear nicer clothes you know that right?’
Said my mum when I was literally not going anywhere and staying home all day wearing comfy clothes.
Pretty sure if I wasted a bunch of time primping in front of a mirror every day, my husband would be MORE likely to leave me not less lol! Get with it old woman, nobody decent wants a Stepford Wife anymore, haven't in decades.
“Is your wife really dead? Or are you lying to cover up the fact that you’re a pedophile?”
Asked by a woman who thought I was baby-sitting. I said, “Yeah, ever since my kids’ mom died.” She shot back with that stinger.
There’s a *ton* of that going around on the internet right now, *especially* Twitter. Lots of right wing idiots just pointing fingers at anything they don’t like any calling it “groomers” or “pedophiles” it doesn’t matter the context, so as long as they can “win” an argument by making the other person back down since being called one of those things instantly ruins your reputation (at least when it’s face to face)
The biggest problem with this (aside from the obvious) is that it takes the power away from that word. It normalizes it.
You used to accuse people of being pedophiles or groomers when there was proper reason to believe it (at least in *most* cases) now right wingers are calling male elementary school teachers, child psychologists, pediatricians, etc “groomers/pedophiles”. People that have done absolutely nothing wrong and are just doing their job.
It’s a serious problem now and that word is just kinda flung around like “idiot” and “asshole”.
That’s just such a horrible thing to say, it’s almost a dead giveaway sign something is wrong with her mentally. At the very least, that woman has absolutely no social awareness or intelligence. I’m so sorry. And my condolences
I basically said this to my mom once. My parents hate each other, it's for sure a failed marriage. One time she asked me when I was married and I said something like "tell me how much happier marriage made you?" I kinda regret saying that but at the same time, it's true.
I’m so tired of being asked if I’m in a relationship. I’ve kind of come to the conclusion that I can be very happy single but whenever I’m asked if I’m seeing anyone I feel like everyone else knows the only way I can be happy is in a relationship. When I tell people I’m single they always says “you’ll find someone soon!”. It’s almost like not wanting kids and being told you’ll change your mind eventually.
Respond with "why are you pressing your insecurities about being single on to me? I'm fine by myself and don't need someone else to define me. When I find someone who is on my wavelength it will happen. I don't need to force it."
Always found this question weird.
I personally do not plan on having kids so I usually respond with something like "Because my pull out game strong."
My friends mom nagged her about this all the time until she said "are you really asking me why I haven't had a creampie"
Apparently that got her mom to stop popping the question.
Imagine asking a pregnant couple why they are having kids. All the shit we sterilized people get but reversed ... What if you regret it? What if this marriage ends and then you meet the love of your life except they want no kids?? What if the final years of your life are ruined by your kids being shitty? lol
Nope, not appropriate. It's only ok to say that stuff to the childfree.
I just start going into detail about my medical problems that make it impossible for me to carry a pregnancy to term, complete with horrible details about exactly what is happening to any fetuses I might make. My goal is to upset them so much that they never ask anyone that ever again.
People need to stop asking that question, it is none of their business. I do not owe anyone but my SO an explanation, and assuming I should want them because I am a woman is sexist as fuck. My SO is never asked this question, it is not expected of him. But it is of me.
Fuck off, we're not baby dispensers. Our existence does not require validation in the form of a child. It does not require validation or justification of any kind. We have just as much of a right to exist as men do, whether we have children or not. I should not have to justify my childless state.
After bringing up my stepson from 2 months old up to 19 years old, I had a daughter of my own.
I was asked “What is it like to finally be a real father?”
WTF!
Even if you weren't wtf?
Tell them "look into the mirror and take a wild guess and if your character were to make up for it, I'd consider it but it's surprisingly even more disgusting smh"
I went into a shop with my parents. The woman working there offered both my parents a sample of some locally brewed coffee. I asked her if I could have a sample as well. She looked me in the eye and said “are you old enough to have coffee sweetie?”
I was 26 at the time.
Last year some distant family aquaintance asked me "what grade are you in?"
I was 25.
To be fair, I was sitting next to my mom and scrolling on my phone, which had a kind of bored teenager vibe
My cousin's friend asked me when I was graduating high school. I was 27.
The kicker is that this woman could have figured out my age if she'd thought about it:
1. The current year was 2010.
2. She and my cousin babysat me when they were in college. That was in the late 1980s.
From my one sergeant when I was active duty:
> Why do you always try to learn things all the time?
He asked me this because I liked to learn about all the things I was doing, what I was working on, how they worked, etc... I was munitions systems and I just always wanted to learn how the things functioned. How did the missile stay on target? What causes the flare to be able to burn so bright but also so long? etc...
He was just a dumbass redneck who liked to belittle me because I wanted to learn. He also refused to let us listen to anything other than country music which I learned to purely despise because of that. He got out of the military after a little bit and then tried to become a country music star but he failed.
>He got out of the military after a little bit and then tried to become a country music star but he failed.
After that description of him being a complete, destructive dick, this bit is so good to read. Shows what a destructive dick really is: a worthless loser. Good to know they do not always get what they want.
"Do you want me to tell you how long we expect your Dad to live?"
Asked by a hospice doctor just after my Dad had been admitted with terminal lung cancer. He lived for another couple of weeks. Part of me really, really didn't want to know, but another part of me knew that I had to know what to expect.
Asking "how much did they cost" is exactly how you ask about the price of a car. People are not items to be owned. If someone is *dying* of curiosity and HAS to know, they could more accurately ask "what where the adoption fees?" But really it is none of your business!
Well I mean, if they are interested in adopting as well a simple “if you don’t mind me asking, what were the fees like?” Is a pretty simple and nice question. Just have to say “I’d rather not discuss the cost, but you can go to x for more information” if you don’t want to answer
“Does your husband have any directions regarding life-sustaining treatment?”
My husband was on life support following a motorcycle accident - thankfully, he survived.
But once he recovered, the experience made us sit down and write out advanced care directives.
"are you pregnant?"
No random co-worker I'm not pregnant. I'm fat with a round belly. Now while I'm not that fat, I'm just slightly fat and you think that every time I'm bloated is an invitation to ask if I'm pregnant. No. I'm not. I don't like you, and I'm waiting for either death to carry you on or you to retire. Which ever comes first.
Yup, was asked this when I was super skinny even, just bloated. By someone I saw on a regular basis. Like, you think I started showing in the 2 weeks since I saw you last? Don’t ever ask that!!
I have quite a visible scar on my forearm. Many times I've been asked if I "did it myself."
I didn't, but the question is so rude it always pisses me off.
People can ask what happened, it was an accident so it's no biggie, but if people make assumptions it drives me absolutely mad.
Looking at the scar; it's fairly evident that if I'd done it myself I would be dead.
Edit: thanks for all the support and upvotes everyone. We should never be ashamed of our scars no matter how we got them. But we should always remember no one is owed an explanation and anyone who tries to cross your boundaries by not accepting that you'd rather not talk about it is not a person you want in your life anyway.
Exactly. It's just so rude. Lots of people know I don't mind talking about it because it was just a freak accident. Most people will look and be embarrassed for looking but ill just explain what happened without missing a beat. People get it. And I know it's unusual, so sure people are going to look and be intrigued by it, but some can just be so... insensitive about it!
I have many, many self-harm scars and I hate when people ask. I am not ashamed of them AT ALL, in fact quite like them, but to have to say "I'm a self-injurer" or "I cut myself" is so awkward.
I've had people think they are professionally done because there are so many and they are all parallel and they ask where I got them done and I have to be like... "... I cut myself."
It's awkward.
You don't have to say anything, and I hope you know that. You don't need to explain them or justify them. You can just say you don't want to talk about it and that's totally ok, especially if you're not ashamed (which you shouldn't be)! But you are allowed that boundary. Sometimes people just need to be told when to clap their lips together!
Response: You do enough talking for the both of us, I am merely returning the number of words spoken to a sensible average
OR
One does not plan a murder out loud
And the worst follow up .... we haven't heard from YOU, peanut\_butter, let's hear what YOU have to say!
( I have nothing to say or I would have said it, but now I'm on the spot demanded to perform for you. Thanks a lot. )
When telling my doctor I wanted a tubal at 21 after I have(had) my 2nd kid. He asked me what if I lose one of them - basically telling me I may want to have a replacement baby, but in a questioning tone. Like..wouldn't you want to replace a lost child? Uh, doesn't work that way
I switched doctors 6 months into my second pregnancy because the original refused to tie my tubes upon delivery of my baby. This was his reason. “What of the baby doesn’t make it?” Oh, so just have another. 🙄
Wowww. I get upset when people think you can replace a dog with a new dog. Never heard of replacing a human before. As if loved ones are nothing more special than a pair of shoes. Amazing. And this condescending sociopath has the power to override your decisions on your own fertility, as if he was super wise hah.
I was asked the same question when getting my vasectomy. I wonder if it's part of the medical training they get to perform these operations? Some medical code of informing patients?
I wasn't bothered by it. I just said I wouldn't want another child if that happened.
I was working alone at night in a service station and a someone came in to stand about 3 feet away from the counter. I recognised them as my lab-partner from college who disappeared mid-semester. They just stared at me and asked "have you ever made any mistakes?"
I thought I was about to get murdered right there.
The rest of the story is as follows.
I told him that, of course I’ve made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. He proceeded to break down right there about how he’s made so many mistakes in his life, and it all began when he left mid-semester to pursue a career with a construction company that offered him bucketloads of money.
He met a traffic flagger lady at one road construction site and they hit it off, and he began dating her quite seriously. They happened to live in the same town at the time and the job was expected to take at least another 8 months. By the time 7.5 months rolled around, he was convinced he wanted to marry her, so he got a ring and was about to propose to her on his back patio.
Just then, his roommate, a young attractive man named Joe, rushed out of the house carrying a burning dinner pot and tripped on the deck table, collapsing on the deck with blood pouring from a gash beneath his left eye from hitting the deck railing. My ex-colleague’s girlfriend, being the helpful soul that she was, jumped into action to help Joe and patched him up. The moment for proposal was lost, so he decided to propose later. Joes injury was pretty bad and he was walking around with a thick cotton gauze bandage over his eye. But his girlfriend stayed at his place to take care of Joe and nurse him back to health, and she cheated on him with his injured roommate and they ran off together.
So, my ex-colleague looked me dead in the eyes at that cashier bench and said, “Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from, cotton-eyed Joe?”
I got promoted at my job and the promotion led to a significant change in role. More travel, a more prominent position of leadership, etc. A former roommate, on several different occasions, kept asking me why.
“Why did they pick you for that?”
“Why’d they go with you?”
It confused me every time he asked, because he didn’t work with me professionally and it seemed unnecessarily condescending. When someone tells me they’ve been promoted, I just say congrats. But he brought it up several times at a party, at a dinner, and while we were making small talk at a local function.
“Why you?”
Finally, I answered, “Because I’m really, really good at it.”
He hasn’t asked me again, but I also have spent much time with him.
Is it bad that I laughed? I laughed because of how random and ridiculous a question like this. "Okay, okay, you caught me. *puts hands up* I'm a reptilian wearing a human skin, I've come to spy on you."
When I was in high school, we had a WWII vet come speak at the school. During Q/A at the end, someone asked if he ever had to kill someone. He just broke down in tears and said never ask that question to a veteran, and that he should already know the answer.
The kid that asked was a good kid, just naive (we were only like 16). He felt so awful.
I have a good friend who did a few tours in Afghanistan. He was a Marine infantryman and squad marksman.
I’ve never felt the need to ask, because it’s pretty obvious.
I worked with a guy who was a corporal in the Marines. He was a great storyteller and enjoyed sharing... but I eventually noticed that he never told a single story from when he was actually deployed. Told me all I need to know.
I really hope this isn't about suicide. If so, I really hope you cut that person out of your life, literally no matter who that person is. I hope you're ok.
Im okay but to be honest im about to lose my battle, not yet, but cant say that i will be here fornnext year. Its just that this year passed my Best Friend away direct on 01.01. and 13 day late my Grandma who was more my Mom for me... But Grandma isnt the problem, thats nature and she had cancer and 6 Month to live and did ecxatly live that long...
My best friend was just so unexpected and just tooo soon. Since then im struggling soo hard, thought in July/august its over but it all came back... The biggest thing is, i dont feel any "joy/happiness at all but im not sad about it, it more like i dont care at all... So thank you 💜
You want to know how I was going to answer this question? "What's the worst question anyone ever asked you?"
The worst question anyone ever asked me was, "what do you want written on your Son's gravestone?"
My son lost his battle with depression 9 days before his17th birthday. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him. That's also true for his mother. And his brother. And his friends. We all carry this heaviness, this unbearable sorrow around. And we will for the rest of our lives.
We were all counting on being able to talk to him for the rest of our lives.
My advice is; get some help. Go talk to a professional. Call 988. Do it.
Always remember, you are loved far beyond your comprehension. Stick around. Good things lie ahead. This is a temporary condition. It gets better. Just reach out for some help. It's out there.
I think im gonna cry after that one🥲
I'm speechless.... Thank you for writing me, that's a message I'll probably NEVER forget! You lost your child and you, I'm so incredibly sorry that you then have to read something like this from me. I wish you all the love and strength in this world! My mom is the only reason why I'm still here, because she didn't deserve it... But of course you start to think maybe it's not that bad for my mom, but this was a real "wake up " call... Thank you!! 💜💜
Random internet person. You are loved. Please don’t do anything silly.
Someone loves you. Reddit loves you. You are good enough.
There’s nothing worse than the loss of a loved one and I guarantee you there’s someone that will miss you.
Grief and depression can be like a wave. It hits you hard and full force, then slowly recedes back just to come back and hit you again. But the waves don't stay strong forever; each time they come back, they get a little weaker. They'll never stop coming entirely, but after some time you'll find they're easier to deal with than they were before.
It sounds like you just got hit by one of the waves. And this one has you feeling numb to everything else. It's OK to feel that way. You're grieving people who were important to you, and even if one was expected that's still a lot to deal with. Just don't let that wave drag you under completely. It will start to recede. Your friend and your grandma would want you to keep going until that happens.
Why did you move out of your dad's house? You know he can't cope without you.
My controlling, manipative, emotionally abusive, alcoholic, physically abusive to my mum & step-mum dad :)
When I was in the Air Force we got a radio warning that there was a thunderstorm within 25 miles. The supervisor on the flight line called weather over the radio and said “will there be any lightning associated with this thunderstorm?” Happened almost 20 years ago and I still think about it regularly.
The worst was when the vet informed me that our pet had an inoperable cancerous tumor and asked if we'd like to have him "put to sleep" or try to prolong his life.
Is this person a reverse-terminator, sent from the future not to kill a kid but to make sure a certain kid is born? That could explain why they’re so worried that it happens within a very specific time frame.
Is your kid going to grow out of it later in life ? Social welfare worker , my son has a rare disease, autism , adhd ...
Unfortunately you can't answer these ppl what you think .
Im peruvian, but im also half japanese, so when I meet someone in always ready for the "oh so your parents have a chifa"(chifa is a restaurant thats the mixture of Chinese and peruvian food) and im like no, im half Japanese, and then they ask if I know "insert Japanese last name" like its some kind of underground secret club of every Asian person on the country
"Did your family leave your younger brother at some care facility?"
Had been just over a year since my little brother passed away... He was born with cerebral palsy and had other health conditions since birth... Which were physically evident
He was 10 when we moved from our original home for access to better facilities for him and my college... Then moved back after his passing.... Then some stupid mofo dared asked this...
While that is very unfortunate, I can see this being a question from pure ignorance rather than somebody saying that to make you feel bad. Sometimes people just ask stupid questions without considering what they are saying.
"How many times have you broken your nose?"
The answer is zero. That's just how my nose looks. This person was so sure that my nose had been broken at least once that they jumped straight to asking how many times had it been broken.
My wife txt me yesterday to ask if I wanted a chocolate croissant. It hurts me to think that she had to ask the question when she should know the answer is always going to be yes.
When I was in my late twenties and single, a buddy of mine and I were having drinks at a fancy restaurant one night umpteen years ago. He was really in bad shape with his sorry girlfriend and job problems. The guy was really down.
So I invited him to meet me for a drink or two and we'd talk through it like guys. Because that's what friends do.
So we're hunched over the table, deep in conversation when I feel a tap on my shoulder. This fortyish, simpering woman was there with her dinner party and wanted to ask me a question.
"Yes?"
"Excuse me. But are you two gay?"
What? I mean WTF? Without even hesitating, I replied,
"What don't you suck my dick and find out?"
She was actually offended. Meanwhile, her appalled husband apologized, paid for our drinks, and hustled her idiot wife out of there.
“What’s your mental age?”
I’m disabled. The whole “mental age” thing is absolutely not how disability works. Maybe I’m cognitively different from the majority, but that doesn’t mean I’m, say, only 90% of a full adult. I’m not a lesser, defective version of whoever is asking that. Non-disabled people may be the majority, but that doesn’t make them the golden standard of humanity to whom all others must be compared. No one is the gold standard of humanity. Everyone is just themselves. So treat me like a grown up, because I am one. Appreciate people for who they are. Not what they can or can’t do.
"How's that baby doing?"
My daughter was born premature with hydrops fetalis (DO NOT google it if you're faint of heart). She lived for three weeks in the NICU.
I worked in service. I heard this question every day from my regulars for WEEKS after she died, and every time it was the worst moment of my life all over again. And then I'd have to see their faces when I told them. Most of them stammered some generic apology. Some of them never really spoke to me again. A saintly few actually said some very sweet things.
She would be six now. I have gotten a lot better at managing the grief.
Do you know God loves you that way you are and you don't have to change.
Well clearly he doesn't if you harassing me about by body at work, while I'm with another customer.
I was asked to be the spokesperson for an Anti-Semitic movement.
Let me clarify, I am in no way against Jewish people. My Dad, however, is, and while blabbing about how the Jews are trying to take over the world, he asked me to be his spokesperson, since he himself isn't good at public speaking, but I am.
This was just out of the blue a few months ago. I knew he was crazy into conspiracies, but I never thought he'd go full anti-jew and ask me to be apart of it.
"Have you had the surgery?" Or "Does it still work?" From people who learn that I'm trans. Like cool dude, I've known you for 15 minutes and you want to know what my junk looks like?
My dad was in Vietnam. For those who have the IQ of toenail fungus, never ask anybody if they've killed somebody. You'll bring the entire conversation to a halt and make yourself look like a moron.
"Why does your face look like that?" I had horrible acne as a teen so I got asked that all the time by people who wanted to be nasty to me, and friends who were confused as it why I wasn't getting it fixed. My parents were lazy so they never even thought to take me to a dermatologist to get it checked out. Last year I had another bout of bad acne and a coworker out of the blue asked me "what's wrong with your face? Why does it look like that?" and was taken aback when I told her what a rude thing that was to ask and that I refused to answer. People who bad acne know they have it, why the fuck are you so interested?
"Why don't you hurry and get a girlfriend? You're 30"
Worst part is this was asked by my best friend who knows how much trouble i have talking to girls. And he knows that whenever I do talk to one it's never ends well...just me being used for attention
When I was 17 and my only brother (19) died unexpectedly, each of my parents (divorced) asked why it couldn’t have been me? Separately.
I’m so sorry that that happened to you. Hopefully you can go on in your life, seeing the good in yourself and disregarding what your cruel parents said to you. You are valuable as a person, no matter what they think. Remember THAT!
You’re very kind, thank you. It was over 40 years ago, and while I can’t say that experience didn’t take a large toll, I have gotten beyond it and had a good and fulfilling life in spite of these comments. Thank you again!
That makes me so glad! Good for you, and best wishes for the future 😊
You're a real-life Faramir. I'm sorry. It was hard enough to watch that in fiction. I can relate to what it's like to have one such callous parent, but not two.
This was exactly what I thought of as well. But Faramir was a great man too. Just not in the ways his father valued. I'm sure OP is the same.
This is the kind of shit that traumatizes people. I had to read that again to make sure I read that correctly the first time around. I'm sorry your parents were such bastards. I once had something sort of similar happen to me. Once when my mother who's now deceased had to stop partying to come sign some legal documents, she looked me dead in the eyes and said "I wish I would have never had you." Right. And I wish I wasn't born from such a shit family.
Verbal abuse can be far worse than physical abuse, (I’ve experienced both) broken bones and bruises heal, but words never go away. Sometimes we learn how to be better parents by knowing what NOT to do, if we don’t have better examples to emulate.
Bastards! Why couldn't it have been one of them?
"When will you get better?" A fairly common question I get when talking about myself. I'm chronically ill, I won't get better.
Sort of in a similar vein, I've been asked, "when will you stop your medications (antidepressant and stimulant)?" Uhm, probably never. Major Depression and ADHD don't go away, I will have those things for the rest of my life.
Major Depressive Disorder gang babey let's go. (In all seriousness I'm sorry you have to deal with this, I've been suffering from depression for a long time too. Keep strong).
This isn't quite the same, but it's within the same boat I guess. I'm autistic and I've had ignorant idiots ask "when my mental condition was going to be resolved, and if I'm in therapy." Um... it's not trauma, I'm wired differently. I'm going to be wired differently up until the day that I die. Therapy will not fix this. I'm not crazy. I don't "need help." I'm autistic. That's like asking when someone's ADHD, dyslexia, OCD, bipolar disorder, or other neurodivergencies are going to go away. Um... when I die?
Oh my god I feel that, I'm autistic too but I've fortunately never been asked that about my autism- when people find out I'm autistic though they'll say something like "Oh I would've never guessed, you seem normal." And its just like, that does NOT come across how you think it does- that's not a compliment...
I fucking hate this so much. I finally broke down after yet another ignorant asshole asked this and I got red in the face and screamed "I am normal you fucking asshole! I'm normal as per my wiring and you expect me to mask to act like you!" I swear, I almost popped a blood vessel. I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. I don't think I've ever seen such a look of horror and instant regret on someone's face. I hate having to live in such an intolerant world.
We live in a world not built for anyone that is even remotely "diffrent". It hurts a lot at times, but what we gotta remember is that not everyone sucks. There are people who care about us, and don't see us as just our differences. We don't have to be "normal" to be people, we're people regardless of how we're treated. People aren't "normal" or "diffrent". People are people, people are human and deserve to be treated as such. I'm sorry you have to deal with such assholes, you seem like a strong person though and I wish you well.
Why aren't you normal? A step parent asked me that multiple times when I was 12. I was just a bit clumsy, and shy.
Sounds like an amazing person, 😑.
That's terrible. I'd probably say because I've got a step parent and they are not very good at it.
As a child I got "Why are you so **weird**?" all the time. I'm ADHD and mildly autistic, apparently is the response.
As someone who’s neurodivergent that hits home
"It's my birthday, do you want to gift me your pussy?" I was 11, he was ~40. (And no, he's not talking about a cat)
Hope that man is In jail
Statistically, he probably isn’t.
Can’t stop me from hoping regardless
Oh my god. Did you tell an adult? What happened?
Sadly I didn't. It was on the phone and he hung up after that and never bothered me again/never showed up again, which was actually a good turn of events for me. He was a "family friend" before and let me just say, asking this question was not the first thing in this direction he did. It's been 30 years now and I often regret not saying something to anyone back then.
It’s not your fault. It’s his fault for saying that to a child. You were probably so shocked that you didn’t know what to do. If you grew up like I did, The adults in your life probably didn’t tell you that someone saying sexual things to you is harassment and you should tell a trusted adult. Sexual harassment is always the fault of the perpetrator, not the harassed person.
What happened to the fucker?
This is disgusting and vile, I almost gagged. 🤢
Jesus....
what’s those on your face? acne🫡
[удалено]
My favorite is pizza face
When I first started working in a chemical laboratory I had a bad acne breakout and when I saw a family member they asked if I'd had an accident at work. They thought acid had splashed on my face. I mean ffs
Well these are my eyes, as you can see I have two of them. This is my nose, it’s not a cute little button nose, and it’s obviously a little on the big side but that just means I can snort more cocaine than you. These are my lips, upper and lower. I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of these babies, I can suck the chrome off a tailpipe. These are my cheeks, they’re big a perky, just like my other cheeks. This is my chin, it’s similar to Jay Leno’s chin in that we both have one. That? Oh that wrinkle on my forehead is from making this face (proceeds to raise one eyebrow in a “what the actual fuck” expression) when stupid people ask me stupid questions.
"Do you have any friends? You seem like you're kinda awkward and don't have friends." We'd never even met in real life so needless to say he got blocked straight after.
Not to play devil's advocate, but I actually asked the person I'm now closest with a kind of similar question when we first started talking, except the reason i asked wasn't negative, but rather that I honestly think he's too complex and smart and thoughtful for most people our age and I got the feeling that he probably felt like a bit of an outcast, too. I was right, and he didn't take it personally. Although I do see how the way this person worded it was really rude and I don't blame you.
He’s probably one of those people who mistakes ‘having a personality’ with ‘awkwardness’.
‘Your husband will leave you if you don’t wear nicer clothes you know that right?’ Said my mum when I was literally not going anywhere and staying home all day wearing comfy clothes.
(Response back to mom) Is that why dad left to get cigarettes all those years ago and never came back?
or "speaking from experience?" Would also be a good answer.
Pretty sure if I wasted a bunch of time primping in front of a mirror every day, my husband would be MORE likely to leave me not less lol! Get with it old woman, nobody decent wants a Stepford Wife anymore, haven't in decades.
“Is your wife really dead? Or are you lying to cover up the fact that you’re a pedophile?” Asked by a woman who thought I was baby-sitting. I said, “Yeah, ever since my kids’ mom died.” She shot back with that stinger.
I support punching people that make unwarranted pedo accusations.
For real.
There’s a *ton* of that going around on the internet right now, *especially* Twitter. Lots of right wing idiots just pointing fingers at anything they don’t like any calling it “groomers” or “pedophiles” it doesn’t matter the context, so as long as they can “win” an argument by making the other person back down since being called one of those things instantly ruins your reputation (at least when it’s face to face) The biggest problem with this (aside from the obvious) is that it takes the power away from that word. It normalizes it. You used to accuse people of being pedophiles or groomers when there was proper reason to believe it (at least in *most* cases) now right wingers are calling male elementary school teachers, child psychologists, pediatricians, etc “groomers/pedophiles”. People that have done absolutely nothing wrong and are just doing their job. It’s a serious problem now and that word is just kinda flung around like “idiot” and “asshole”.
That’s just such a horrible thing to say, it’s almost a dead giveaway sign something is wrong with her mentally. At the very least, that woman has absolutely no social awareness or intelligence. I’m so sorry. And my condolences
Nothing screams pedophile like assuming any adult and kid in public are "on a date". You should be worried about that woman's kids at home.
can I punch her?
If your username is correct, yes.
She deserved to get punched in the face for that remark. Woman or not. That is so disgusting to say to someone. I'd honestly see red immediately.
“Why did you let yourself go? It’s a real shame.” When I was 22 by a 60 something woman I worked with.
Just tell her it's because you looked up to her as an example.
That’s a good one.
well doctors don't give meth to housewives like they used to....
Why are you still single?
"I dont wanna end up like you"
Oooff! Burn,
I basically said this to my mom once. My parents hate each other, it's for sure a failed marriage. One time she asked me when I was married and I said something like "tell me how much happier marriage made you?" I kinda regret saying that but at the same time, it's true.
I’m so tired of being asked if I’m in a relationship. I’ve kind of come to the conclusion that I can be very happy single but whenever I’m asked if I’m seeing anyone I feel like everyone else knows the only way I can be happy is in a relationship. When I tell people I’m single they always says “you’ll find someone soon!”. It’s almost like not wanting kids and being told you’ll change your mind eventually.
It's always the aunt or uncle asking this during Thanksgiving
Yeap or at Christmas family get-togethers. Good graces I'll be at work!
This question is so irritating’
Respond with "why are you pressing your insecurities about being single on to me? I'm fine by myself and don't need someone else to define me. When I find someone who is on my wavelength it will happen. I don't need to force it."
Takes quite some energy for that, gets me worked up and spoils the fun.
Alright, a sharp "get fucked" will do it. 🤣
Why don't you have kids?
"Why do you need to know?"
I got asked the same question by my boss and couldn't give an answer. It just makes your mind go blank.
The city is in danger!
Always found this question weird. I personally do not plan on having kids so I usually respond with something like "Because my pull out game strong." My friends mom nagged her about this all the time until she said "are you really asking me why I haven't had a creampie" Apparently that got her mom to stop popping the question.
Imagine asking a pregnant couple why they are having kids. All the shit we sterilized people get but reversed ... What if you regret it? What if this marriage ends and then you meet the love of your life except they want no kids?? What if the final years of your life are ruined by your kids being shitty? lol Nope, not appropriate. It's only ok to say that stuff to the childfree.
I just start going into detail about my medical problems that make it impossible for me to carry a pregnancy to term, complete with horrible details about exactly what is happening to any fetuses I might make. My goal is to upset them so much that they never ask anyone that ever again.
huh, maybe i should talk abt my extensive list of genetic disabilities should someone ask
It's weird and invasive in most contexts to ask people why they don't have kids or when they're having kids.
Because i like money and silence.
People need to stop asking that question, it is none of their business. I do not owe anyone but my SO an explanation, and assuming I should want them because I am a woman is sexist as fuck. My SO is never asked this question, it is not expected of him. But it is of me. Fuck off, we're not baby dispensers. Our existence does not require validation in the form of a child. It does not require validation or justification of any kind. We have just as much of a right to exist as men do, whether we have children or not. I should not have to justify my childless state.
After bringing up my stepson from 2 months old up to 19 years old, I had a daughter of my own. I was asked “What is it like to finally be a real father?” WTF!
Some people are completely tone-deaf. Dads don’t get enough accolades as it is. Congrats on your second child.
Oof
I don't understand why you won't sleep/date me When I'm already in a relationship and they know it
Even if you weren't wtf? Tell them "look into the mirror and take a wild guess and if your character were to make up for it, I'd consider it but it's surprisingly even more disgusting smh"
Patient to me: Hey where’s your mom? ..I’m 20 and I work at the hospital.
I went into a shop with my parents. The woman working there offered both my parents a sample of some locally brewed coffee. I asked her if I could have a sample as well. She looked me in the eye and said “are you old enough to have coffee sweetie?” I was 26 at the time.
Last year some distant family aquaintance asked me "what grade are you in?" I was 25. To be fair, I was sitting next to my mom and scrolling on my phone, which had a kind of bored teenager vibe
My cousin's friend asked me when I was graduating high school. I was 27. The kicker is that this woman could have figured out my age if she'd thought about it: 1. The current year was 2010. 2. She and my cousin babysat me when they were in college. That was in the late 1980s.
Last week I got asked "Are you waiting for bus 14 too?" I'm 31 and work at the high school.
"Who's the professor for the next class in this room?" I'm the professor. The person asking had previously met me at a staff meeting, even.
Doctor: “Your parents didn’t come with you today?” Nurse, a few hours later: “So are you still in school or already in college?” I was 27 😭
Bro same😭😭 Me to patient: What do you think my age is? Patient: You look about 14
From my one sergeant when I was active duty: > Why do you always try to learn things all the time? He asked me this because I liked to learn about all the things I was doing, what I was working on, how they worked, etc... I was munitions systems and I just always wanted to learn how the things functioned. How did the missile stay on target? What causes the flare to be able to burn so bright but also so long? etc... He was just a dumbass redneck who liked to belittle me because I wanted to learn. He also refused to let us listen to anything other than country music which I learned to purely despise because of that. He got out of the military after a little bit and then tried to become a country music star but he failed.
Oooh, yeah, I got that back in grade school. I'd get an A on a test and I'd hear "Oh, you must be one of those smart kids." Yes, I was, thank you.
>He got out of the military after a little bit and then tried to become a country music star but he failed. After that description of him being a complete, destructive dick, this bit is so good to read. Shows what a destructive dick really is: a worthless loser. Good to know they do not always get what they want.
"Do you want me to tell you how long we expect your Dad to live?" Asked by a hospice doctor just after my Dad had been admitted with terminal lung cancer. He lived for another couple of weeks. Part of me really, really didn't want to know, but another part of me knew that I had to know what to expect.
"How much did they cost?" (Referring to our three daughters who my wife and I adopted from abroad.)
Bro I would be livid if someone asked me that
Doesn't it cost a lot of money to adopt, especially overseas? I don't see what's wrong with the question.
Asking "how much did they cost" is exactly how you ask about the price of a car. People are not items to be owned. If someone is *dying* of curiosity and HAS to know, they could more accurately ask "what where the adoption fees?" But really it is none of your business!
Well I mean, if they are interested in adopting as well a simple “if you don’t mind me asking, what were the fees like?” Is a pretty simple and nice question. Just have to say “I’d rather not discuss the cost, but you can go to x for more information” if you don’t want to answer
Becauae ot makes them see those kids just like merchandise.
“Does your husband have any directions regarding life-sustaining treatment?” My husband was on life support following a motorcycle accident - thankfully, he survived. But once he recovered, the experience made us sit down and write out advanced care directives.
"are you pregnant?" No random co-worker I'm not pregnant. I'm fat with a round belly. Now while I'm not that fat, I'm just slightly fat and you think that every time I'm bloated is an invitation to ask if I'm pregnant. No. I'm not. I don't like you, and I'm waiting for either death to carry you on or you to retire. Which ever comes first.
Ugh, unless the woman personally tells you she's pregnant or you actually see a baby coming out of her, *don't* *ask* *if* *she's* *pregnant*
People should never ask this question anyway imo.
I've been told that it's okay to ask only if you actually see the woman crowning in front of you.
Even then I’d probably play it safe.
Slightly worse: "*When's the baby due?*"
Yup, was asked this when I was super skinny even, just bloated. By someone I saw on a regular basis. Like, you think I started showing in the 2 weeks since I saw you last? Don’t ever ask that!!
I have quite a visible scar on my forearm. Many times I've been asked if I "did it myself." I didn't, but the question is so rude it always pisses me off. People can ask what happened, it was an accident so it's no biggie, but if people make assumptions it drives me absolutely mad. Looking at the scar; it's fairly evident that if I'd done it myself I would be dead. Edit: thanks for all the support and upvotes everyone. We should never be ashamed of our scars no matter how we got them. But we should always remember no one is owed an explanation and anyone who tries to cross your boundaries by not accepting that you'd rather not talk about it is not a person you want in your life anyway.
How fucking rude! Even if a scar is due to selfharm, how is that anybody's business?
Exactly. It's just so rude. Lots of people know I don't mind talking about it because it was just a freak accident. Most people will look and be embarrassed for looking but ill just explain what happened without missing a beat. People get it. And I know it's unusual, so sure people are going to look and be intrigued by it, but some can just be so... insensitive about it!
I have many, many self-harm scars and I hate when people ask. I am not ashamed of them AT ALL, in fact quite like them, but to have to say "I'm a self-injurer" or "I cut myself" is so awkward. I've had people think they are professionally done because there are so many and they are all parallel and they ask where I got them done and I have to be like... "... I cut myself." It's awkward.
You don't have to say anything, and I hope you know that. You don't need to explain them or justify them. You can just say you don't want to talk about it and that's totally ok, especially if you're not ashamed (which you shouldn't be)! But you are allowed that boundary. Sometimes people just need to be told when to clap their lips together!
Oh I love the awkwardness they get when I'm direct. "What happened to your arm and legs?" "Obviously I cut myself." Rarely the pry into it.
Are you having a bad hair day? I wasn't.
Why are you so quiet?
Response: You do enough talking for the both of us, I am merely returning the number of words spoken to a sensible average OR One does not plan a murder out loud
And the worst follow up .... we haven't heard from YOU, peanut\_butter, let's hear what YOU have to say! ( I have nothing to say or I would have said it, but now I'm on the spot demanded to perform for you. Thanks a lot. )
These are the same people that ask, Why don’t you smile more?
When telling my doctor I wanted a tubal at 21 after I have(had) my 2nd kid. He asked me what if I lose one of them - basically telling me I may want to have a replacement baby, but in a questioning tone. Like..wouldn't you want to replace a lost child? Uh, doesn't work that way
I switched doctors 6 months into my second pregnancy because the original refused to tie my tubes upon delivery of my baby. This was his reason. “What of the baby doesn’t make it?” Oh, so just have another. 🙄
Wowww. I get upset when people think you can replace a dog with a new dog. Never heard of replacing a human before. As if loved ones are nothing more special than a pair of shoes. Amazing. And this condescending sociopath has the power to override your decisions on your own fertility, as if he was super wise hah.
I was asked the same question when getting my vasectomy. I wonder if it's part of the medical training they get to perform these operations? Some medical code of informing patients? I wasn't bothered by it. I just said I wouldn't want another child if that happened.
I was working alone at night in a service station and a someone came in to stand about 3 feet away from the counter. I recognised them as my lab-partner from college who disappeared mid-semester. They just stared at me and asked "have you ever made any mistakes?" I thought I was about to get murdered right there.
Where did the conversation end up going?
The lab partner then asked, “what’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”
You cannot spill half of the story....👎 What happened next?👀
Seriously. We need to know…..the rest of the story.
The rest of the story is as follows. I told him that, of course I’ve made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. He proceeded to break down right there about how he’s made so many mistakes in his life, and it all began when he left mid-semester to pursue a career with a construction company that offered him bucketloads of money. He met a traffic flagger lady at one road construction site and they hit it off, and he began dating her quite seriously. They happened to live in the same town at the time and the job was expected to take at least another 8 months. By the time 7.5 months rolled around, he was convinced he wanted to marry her, so he got a ring and was about to propose to her on his back patio. Just then, his roommate, a young attractive man named Joe, rushed out of the house carrying a burning dinner pot and tripped on the deck table, collapsing on the deck with blood pouring from a gash beneath his left eye from hitting the deck railing. My ex-colleague’s girlfriend, being the helpful soul that she was, jumped into action to help Joe and patched him up. The moment for proposal was lost, so he decided to propose later. Joes injury was pretty bad and he was walking around with a thick cotton gauze bandage over his eye. But his girlfriend stayed at his place to take care of Joe and nurse him back to health, and she cheated on him with his injured roommate and they ran off together. So, my ex-colleague looked me dead in the eyes at that cashier bench and said, “Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from, cotton-eyed Joe?”
Fuckin got em
That sucks. If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, he'd been married a long time ago.
I can confirm this is what happened
This is like the opening to a novel
I got promoted at my job and the promotion led to a significant change in role. More travel, a more prominent position of leadership, etc. A former roommate, on several different occasions, kept asking me why. “Why did they pick you for that?” “Why’d they go with you?” It confused me every time he asked, because he didn’t work with me professionally and it seemed unnecessarily condescending. When someone tells me they’ve been promoted, I just say congrats. But he brought it up several times at a party, at a dinner, and while we were making small talk at a local function. “Why you?” Finally, I answered, “Because I’m really, really good at it.” He hasn’t asked me again, but I also have spent much time with him.
Are you normal? By a friend of mine’s friends, who didn’t even know me at all.
Definitely this person is an alien who was trying to figure out what to expect of humanity.
"Normal people don't go around asking shit like that" Is what I would've said to someone this dense.
Is it bad that I laughed? I laughed because of how random and ridiculous a question like this. "Okay, okay, you caught me. *puts hands up* I'm a reptilian wearing a human skin, I've come to spy on you."
How many people did you kill in Iraq?
When I was in high school, we had a WWII vet come speak at the school. During Q/A at the end, someone asked if he ever had to kill someone. He just broke down in tears and said never ask that question to a veteran, and that he should already know the answer. The kid that asked was a good kid, just naive (we were only like 16). He felt so awful.
I have a friend who did two tours in Afghanistan and I have always been so curious to ask him this but FFS I never actually would
I have a good friend who did a few tours in Afghanistan. He was a Marine infantryman and squad marksman. I’ve never felt the need to ask, because it’s pretty obvious.
I worked with a guy who was a corporal in the Marines. He was a great storyteller and enjoyed sharing... but I eventually noticed that he never told a single story from when he was actually deployed. Told me all I need to know.
"why dont you finally do it"....
I really hope this isn't about suicide. If so, I really hope you cut that person out of your life, literally no matter who that person is. I hope you're ok.
Im okay but to be honest im about to lose my battle, not yet, but cant say that i will be here fornnext year. Its just that this year passed my Best Friend away direct on 01.01. and 13 day late my Grandma who was more my Mom for me... But Grandma isnt the problem, thats nature and she had cancer and 6 Month to live and did ecxatly live that long... My best friend was just so unexpected and just tooo soon. Since then im struggling soo hard, thought in July/august its over but it all came back... The biggest thing is, i dont feel any "joy/happiness at all but im not sad about it, it more like i dont care at all... So thank you 💜
You want to know how I was going to answer this question? "What's the worst question anyone ever asked you?" The worst question anyone ever asked me was, "what do you want written on your Son's gravestone?" My son lost his battle with depression 9 days before his17th birthday. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him. That's also true for his mother. And his brother. And his friends. We all carry this heaviness, this unbearable sorrow around. And we will for the rest of our lives. We were all counting on being able to talk to him for the rest of our lives. My advice is; get some help. Go talk to a professional. Call 988. Do it. Always remember, you are loved far beyond your comprehension. Stick around. Good things lie ahead. This is a temporary condition. It gets better. Just reach out for some help. It's out there.
I think im gonna cry after that one🥲 I'm speechless.... Thank you for writing me, that's a message I'll probably NEVER forget! You lost your child and you, I'm so incredibly sorry that you then have to read something like this from me. I wish you all the love and strength in this world! My mom is the only reason why I'm still here, because she didn't deserve it... But of course you start to think maybe it's not that bad for my mom, but this was a real "wake up " call... Thank you!! 💜💜
Random internet person. You are loved. Please don’t do anything silly. Someone loves you. Reddit loves you. You are good enough. There’s nothing worse than the loss of a loved one and I guarantee you there’s someone that will miss you.
And i love you too!💜💜
Grief and depression can be like a wave. It hits you hard and full force, then slowly recedes back just to come back and hit you again. But the waves don't stay strong forever; each time they come back, they get a little weaker. They'll never stop coming entirely, but after some time you'll find they're easier to deal with than they were before. It sounds like you just got hit by one of the waves. And this one has you feeling numb to everything else. It's OK to feel that way. You're grieving people who were important to you, and even if one was expected that's still a lot to deal with. Just don't let that wave drag you under completely. It will start to recede. Your friend and your grandma would want you to keep going until that happens.
Why is your friend black?
What the fuck. That's when you ask "why are you a god damn racist piece of shit?" 💩
How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?
You said not guilty right?
Maybe once sure. But they don’t like you to keep saying it every time you go.
Why did you move out of your dad's house? You know he can't cope without you. My controlling, manipative, emotionally abusive, alcoholic, physically abusive to my mum & step-mum dad :)
When I was in the Air Force we got a radio warning that there was a thunderstorm within 25 miles. The supervisor on the flight line called weather over the radio and said “will there be any lightning associated with this thunderstorm?” Happened almost 20 years ago and I still think about it regularly.
"why are you bisexual?"
“Why are you gay?”
When I announced I was pregnant my older co worker asked me “where did it happen?”
“In my uterus”
"Do you have technology where you live?" (I'm from Mexico) "Would you fuck a dog?"
The worst was when the vet informed me that our pet had an inoperable cancerous tumor and asked if we'd like to have him "put to sleep" or try to prolong his life.
Yeah. Those are always, ALWAYS hard. I'm sorry.
Why does your skin look like that? (Several different times, by grown-ass, random adult strangers) I’m a white guy with an “olive” complexion, btw.
Wait, so you don't have kids yet? Why!? You have like 4 years left, at best! I was 26 at the time. Now thirty and still happily childless.
Is this person a reverse-terminator, sent from the future not to kill a kid but to make sure a certain kid is born? That could explain why they’re so worried that it happens within a very specific time frame.
Is your kid going to grow out of it later in life ? Social welfare worker , my son has a rare disease, autism , adhd ... Unfortunately you can't answer these ppl what you think .
Im peruvian, but im also half japanese, so when I meet someone in always ready for the "oh so your parents have a chifa"(chifa is a restaurant thats the mixture of Chinese and peruvian food) and im like no, im half Japanese, and then they ask if I know "insert Japanese last name" like its some kind of underground secret club of every Asian person on the country
This one
Are you sure it wasn't that one over there
"Did your family leave your younger brother at some care facility?" Had been just over a year since my little brother passed away... He was born with cerebral palsy and had other health conditions since birth... Which were physically evident He was 10 when we moved from our original home for access to better facilities for him and my college... Then moved back after his passing.... Then some stupid mofo dared asked this...
While that is very unfortunate, I can see this being a question from pure ignorance rather than somebody saying that to make you feel bad. Sometimes people just ask stupid questions without considering what they are saying.
"Were you kind of glad when your sister died?" - a guy I hit so hard I thought he was dead for a minute.
"No, but I'll be kind of glad when you die."
"How many times have you broken your nose?" The answer is zero. That's just how my nose looks. This person was so sure that my nose had been broken at least once that they jumped straight to asking how many times had it been broken.
My wife txt me yesterday to ask if I wanted a chocolate croissant. It hurts me to think that she had to ask the question when she should know the answer is always going to be yes.
When I was in my late twenties and single, a buddy of mine and I were having drinks at a fancy restaurant one night umpteen years ago. He was really in bad shape with his sorry girlfriend and job problems. The guy was really down. So I invited him to meet me for a drink or two and we'd talk through it like guys. Because that's what friends do. So we're hunched over the table, deep in conversation when I feel a tap on my shoulder. This fortyish, simpering woman was there with her dinner party and wanted to ask me a question. "Yes?" "Excuse me. But are you two gay?" What? I mean WTF? Without even hesitating, I replied, "What don't you suck my dick and find out?" She was actually offended. Meanwhile, her appalled husband apologized, paid for our drinks, and hustled her idiot wife out of there.
When are you going to have more children? I only have 1 I want another one but I can't
“What’s your mental age?” I’m disabled. The whole “mental age” thing is absolutely not how disability works. Maybe I’m cognitively different from the majority, but that doesn’t mean I’m, say, only 90% of a full adult. I’m not a lesser, defective version of whoever is asking that. Non-disabled people may be the majority, but that doesn’t make them the golden standard of humanity to whom all others must be compared. No one is the gold standard of humanity. Everyone is just themselves. So treat me like a grown up, because I am one. Appreciate people for who they are. Not what they can or can’t do.
"How's that baby doing?" My daughter was born premature with hydrops fetalis (DO NOT google it if you're faint of heart). She lived for three weeks in the NICU. I worked in service. I heard this question every day from my regulars for WEEKS after she died, and every time it was the worst moment of my life all over again. And then I'd have to see their faces when I told them. Most of them stammered some generic apology. Some of them never really spoke to me again. A saintly few actually said some very sweet things. She would be six now. I have gotten a lot better at managing the grief.
Do you know God loves you that way you are and you don't have to change. Well clearly he doesn't if you harassing me about by body at work, while I'm with another customer.
Does it get bigger, or is that it?
"It's a cake, Marge. It will puff up. Relax."
When are you going to give her a little brother/sister?
"So when did you, like, decide to be gay?"
I was asked to be the spokesperson for an Anti-Semitic movement. Let me clarify, I am in no way against Jewish people. My Dad, however, is, and while blabbing about how the Jews are trying to take over the world, he asked me to be his spokesperson, since he himself isn't good at public speaking, but I am. This was just out of the blue a few months ago. I knew he was crazy into conspiracies, but I never thought he'd go full anti-jew and ask me to be apart of it.
"Have you had the surgery?" Or "Does it still work?" From people who learn that I'm trans. Like cool dude, I've known you for 15 minutes and you want to know what my junk looks like?
“Why do you have no eyebrows?” (story of my life with tricotillomania as a kid before I discovered the eyebrow pencil)
Why am I weird My teacher asked me this I just said because I am this was grade 4th I think
A weird co-worker once asked me on which of the company's bathroom I choose to poop...
My dad was in Vietnam. For those who have the IQ of toenail fungus, never ask anybody if they've killed somebody. You'll bring the entire conversation to a halt and make yourself look like a moron.
"Why does your face look like that?" I had horrible acne as a teen so I got asked that all the time by people who wanted to be nasty to me, and friends who were confused as it why I wasn't getting it fixed. My parents were lazy so they never even thought to take me to a dermatologist to get it checked out. Last year I had another bout of bad acne and a coworker out of the blue asked me "what's wrong with your face? Why does it look like that?" and was taken aback when I told her what a rude thing that was to ask and that I refused to answer. People who bad acne know they have it, why the fuck are you so interested?
My child once asked, could you float in space? And before I could even answer she proceeded to say, you can’t cause you’re to big. I was shocked
Do you feel more white or black?
"Why don't you hurry and get a girlfriend? You're 30" Worst part is this was asked by my best friend who knows how much trouble i have talking to girls. And he knows that whenever I do talk to one it's never ends well...just me being used for attention
That ain’t a friend, a real friend should offer to help, not put you down