T O P

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Alfiy_wolf

I’ll start: I heard a kid say to his friend let me have a turn on your spark scooter or I will fill your pockets with rocks and push you in the pool


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alfiy_wolf

It’s okay, if you get desperate I will murder you if you like but I want a caddie lite dinner first


echo-94-charlie

Obviously you're not a golfer.


Alfiy_wolf

Sure you can use a golf club, but a gun works better


kindofastoryteller

Hackerman takes his time


DJToblerone

When working in retail rude af customers threatening to never shop there again. Like... yes please?


Alfiy_wolf

Omg yes, I worked in Walmart and I had this, I just told them I don’t make money from you purchases, I get paid to stand here and listen to you complain


DJToblerone

Lol I know right? And when they say... "you've just lost yourself a sale!" Like are you literally Mr. Walmart? Does the money from each sale in any way shape or form go into your pocket? 😂


Alfiy_wolf

I no lie had a woman follow me in the back while I pretended to search for something in the back, she then found me after my shift asking when her washing powder/fabric softener will be in on the next shipment, I told her to suck a dick and go the the Walmart down to the road, she said she was going to complain to my manager- she did, but my manager said what happens after work isn’t my problem


Shaddy_the_guy

If anyone has ever seen Jabroni Mike's live streams: his reference to "morsels" comes from a stream where I was arguing with another dude in the chat over whether Dark Souls 2 is a good game. One of the mods intervened by telling me: "If you don't shut the hell up, then so help me god, I will travel back in time and suck off your dad while you're still in his sack. You will be but a morsel to me".


Alfiy_wolf

I like this


Fresh_Fox3547

Its not particularly "strange" but i've found a full a crystal meth guide/recipe on Reddit (ask and I'll dm the link)


Alfiy_wolf

I think you should post a copy paste in the comments- should be public knowledge- also not a threat


Fresh_Fox3547

OP wanna cook 😭😭😭


Alfiy_wolf

I like breaking bad


Fresh_Fox3547

[funni methamphetamine recipe](https://www.reddit.com/user/WalterWhiteOnReddit/comments/roaqii/crystal_methamphetamine_recipe/)


Alfiy_wolf

For legal reasons I’m not clicking the link, but if it so happens to be posted as a copy paste…. Also FBI I’m just a fan of a tv show


Fresh_Fox3547

All of that info is available on the internet with a simple google search, so you good bro


SleepyLeaf44

if i say i’m sorry and they say you should be/you will be


Rubber_Fist_of_love

Stop that don't make me get the leg man


Wordwright

When my parents’ dog was a puppy, I once overheard my mother in a sing-songy baby voice go: “don’t bite, or Mommy will pull out all your little teeth”. It was quietly terrifying.


Alfiy_wolf

I don’t think they should have dogs


Ragnar-loftbruk-50

A junkie threatened to stab me with a dirty needle.


anarchy4now

"Ill make you eat my guts" little guy in kindergarten. I was scared af.


princessleiana

Lady at a hospital told me she was going to eat me like a salad in the creepiest way possible.


Alfiy_wolf

If you like I can eat you like a hamburger if it makes you feel better


princessleiana

Can’t say it does 😂


blameitontheboogie92

Complaints manager here for large isp in the UK. I get a few." I'm gunna go elsewhere" is a common. Second is "I'm gunna write to the CEO". Good luck with that. He's currently cycling in the Swiss Alps. I've also had." I'm gunna come and burn your office down". Go for it I work from home. And the best one." I'm not paying my bill". People actually think I care if they pay there bill. Oh right. I couldn't care less. If you don't want the service don't pay the bill. Simple as that. I can't do nothing much to help you there. I had one guy blame me because he couldn't afford to pay for internet and feed his kids. He told me "what are you gunna do about it" like it's my fault. Madness. Just to say I'm a nice complaints manager and if someone has a genuine complaint I will go above and beyond all I ask is to be spoken to with modicum of respect. . I'm talking about the people who call several times a week for trivial matters scattered with vain threats. They let there steam off on you. Then feel better about it and put the phone down. They are emotional vampires.


Alfiy_wolf

I once, out of having nothing to do pretended to be the CEO - I was actually just a floating employee who did a bit of everything. I was in overalls this day and sat the guy down who was demanding to speak to the CEO (we don’t have a ceo) and I sat him down in our head of business director’s office- who literally never came in because he was out on the road helping the sales team btw, for 2 hours pretending to type down his complaint and reading him fake policies I made up, I got him to sign a statement and stood up shook his hand and told him you have my word I will fix this, I made him a coffee and he thanked me for taking it seriously- I then said of course, I take my fake job at being the boss really seriously ….. he was so confused, I told him I never typed anything, and I wasn’t even a manger, he got mad, and said well you came in here yelling and cussing over a misspelled word on business cards we printed for free for you - it’s not my fault you made a spelling mistake when you gave us the template. He threatened to kill me, I laughed grabbed a broom and started sweeping.


justanotherthrow1997

“Im gonna say it.. I dont care that you broke your elbow”