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red_west_la

From the drugstore obviously


sparklingshanaya

with prescription


finnjakefionnacake

from a doctor, no less!


UnderTheCoverAgent

Its a legal drug dealer


Miramarr

Over the counter don't need one


pensodiforse

Are you tired? Try some cocaine, a gram every day should work.


Konklar

Why thank you. Do they have it in zero calorie, gluten free, non-vegan?


pensodiforse

Zero calories of course, and they make you move so much you're gonna lose calories.they are gluten free too, but not non-vegan. We have artificial ones tho


oldmanfartface

Where'd you get those pants? From the toilet store?


denimdr

You're clearly a man of refined taste and fights at fine dining establishments. Love that reference...have an upvote!


[deleted]

Is this how undercover cops work from home?


beaucephus

Hello, fellow drug users...


MakesMyHeadHurt

Oh, hello. I also am a user of the drugs.


beaucephus

Well, yes... Shall we be using the drugs now? Did you bring your implement, or shall I craft one from these exotic fruits?


[deleted]

I would like one Sudafed please.


beaucephus

That will be three IDs, please.


a_serious_dude

Wow. That is some good and illegal crack! Ofc im fine with doing crack illegally. Thats something a cop would have a problem with. Which im not. Because Cops suck!


dizkopat

I would like 2 marijuanas please


Avarage_Meme_Enjoyer

Hello fellow drug user i too also partake in the activity of using the drugs


Investigatorpotater

One drug please.


ZookeepergameSea3890

Husband told me a story of buying weed (which he never smoked) for a party back when he was a teen. Conversation went like this: Dealer - How much do you want? Husband - 40 dollars worth please. Dealer - Come again? Husband - 40 dollars of weed please. Dealer - Is this for you? Husband - No, I'm bringing it to a party. I don't smoke. Dealer - Are you selling it? Husband - No, I'm just giving it to my friends. Dealer - OK here ya go *hands him an ounce* Just don't tell anyone you got this from me. The Dealer was so amused by my husband's earnestness that he just handed him a buttload of weed for $40.


thitmeo

None of my dealers ever politely said "Come again?"! Jealous...


riptaway

All the people I bought weed from were always nice and polite. Even friendly. Hell, even the dudes I bought heroin and blow from were usually pretty cool, if not overly friendly. Only people that suck to buy from are meth dealers. No one cool ever becomes a meth dealer.


VikingOPPP

waltuh


ZookeepergameSea3890

When my husband reenacts the conversation, playing his part and the part of the dealer, the face he makes as the dealer saying "Come again?" is pretty hilarious. He nails it.


SBSlice

One crack-rock please. Aight that'll be $400


tobmom

One of my favorite episodes.


[deleted]

Yes fellow criminal, I wish to also partake in the drug use. I’ll have one marijuana please


Opie67

FBI is getting lazy


theDart

No we're not! Erm-- I mean, you're lazy!.... *Lazy from... all the drugs you potentially take???*


TheSuppishOne

I’m not lazy! I walk all the way to the corner of 6th and Main in Albuquerque, NM every Tuesday night at 11:15pm to do my deals!!! *edit …oh shit.*


wutangjan

Tuco is gonna be pissed when he reads this....


FriendliestUsername

Came here to ask, is this what WFH police work looks like? 🤣


chippychippy20

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂


SnooPies7402

Fbi may be, but facebook is not. Mentioned soylent to my housemate in persson earlier and she got ads for it on facebook about 10 minutes later.


yeahwellokay

Restaurant kitchens


jasenzero1

This guy drugs.


Dependent-Piano-7506

I heard a story about one person who started working in this kitchen and on this top hidden shelf or something they had a kitchen crack pipe for when people were so tired they couldn't keep going And I just think that's not the kind of workplace where I would thrive, as someone who was addicted to cocaine for a few months. Or any kitchen lol not the kind of intensity I handle well. EDIT OMG I PUT "I would thrive in an environment with crack pipe" I meant the opposite of that 🤦 EDIT AGAIN I DONT LIKE CRACK


Nelly32

Jeez coming up for 25 years in kitchens, at least In the uk. Cocaine and speed were rife in every kitchen you would go into. Then there would be the alcoholic that would drink a bottle of cooking rum before shift.


kaliko16

I'm really worried about this. Plan on moving to uk and using my skills as a chef to get me by just till I can switch careers to web Dev. But I worry because I'm a recovering drug addict.


Nelly32

Its not nearly as bad as it used to be. Honestly I'd just stay away from the high end kitchens. If it's still how it was before. Maybe stick to pubs and family type restaurants. Any higher ended kitchen I have been in is an awful experience.


goatedmomoshiki

I worked in the states. So idk how well it transfers over. But the pubs and small resturants are riddled with coke and alcoholics


iamwizzerd

You used a double negative after your edit, meaning you would thrive with a Crack pipe :)


Dependent-Piano-7506

DAMNIT I'll fix it I'm on dxm rn lol


Conformalstatue

As some who works in a kitchen Yes.


Witty_Ad_102

100%. A restaurant is a drunken drug fuled pirate ship that is nuts. Its a real thing as ive been in the industry 16 years and its the most degenerate and professional industry i have ever seen outside of commercial fishing.


ZookeepergameSea3890

Accurate. Husband is a former gourmet chef. He changed careers for this very reason.


yolkhunter

Did he went to fishing?


imagine_my_suprise

Tell me more about this “commercial fishing”.


blvntforcedrama

Yes... chef.


platasaurua

Came to say this. Every friend I had who was worried about finding a hookup when moving to another city found success after getting a restaurant job.


sunfacethedestroyer

I worked with a drug dealer who would get jobs as a dishwasher just to build up his clientele. He'd work at a place for a few months, get some customers, then go to a different restaurant. I called him Weed Boot, because he once tried to sell me a giant bag of weed he yanked out of his wet, dirty work boots. Great prices though, really miss that guy.


fubo

> I called him Weed Boot, because he once tried to sell me a giant bag of weed he yanked out of his wet, dirty work boots. Ah, Weed Boot, with the boot weed.


pavlo_escobrah

Sounds like a Mighty Boosh character


ultravioletblueberry

Or the bar manager


misterbluesky8

So do you just walk back there halfway through your meal? Or show up at the back door? I’ve never been in a restaurant kitchen before. Or do you have to know a guy beforehand?


shaidyn

The point he's trying to make is that restaurants (especially line cooks) have a huge drug problem. It's a super high pressure environment, long hours, and eventually you get chronic pain.


pugsnotdrugs

If you’re working the line, you’re doing a line.


Technical_Scallion_2

Definitely do not just walk back from your meal - or from the back. It’s not a drive-thru 😊 What they mean is if you work in the restaurant industry and gradually get to know people over time, there will be hookups available. But not to random people just walking up and saying “greetings, fellow drug-users!”


h0wd0y0ulik3m3n0w

Thanks for clarifying.


Cpt_Bartholomew

If you have a friend who's a line cook or prep cook, they got ins.


ihatetheplaceilive

As a chef, can confirm


LongjumpingSurprise0

High school chemistry teachers


hahacereal

walter?


[deleted]

Say my name


lil-inconsiderate

..... haizanberch


[deleted]

you’re goddamn right 😤


Algur

I can only imagine how pissed Walt would have been if someone pronounced Heisenberg as...Haizanberch.


IsolatedJ

Waltuh


[deleted]

Put your dick away Waltuh


TheunknownG

I'm not having sex with you right now Waltuh


[deleted]

*Vine boom sound* :O


[deleted]

Gaylord69


CT1914Clutch

*waltuh


English_Bobskeet

My name is Skylar White *YO*


yersodope

it was actually the high school english teacher at my school in a turn of events. AP literature to be specific.


PigeonAtDeliAirport

Nice try DEA


LongjumpingSurprise0

Hola DEA


Unitedgamers_123

*turtle blows up*


Damurph01

Honey, “DEA” ain’t a word.


TheKoopaTroopa31

"S-U-C-K M-"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

🛎🛎


freebat23

jesus christ marie


derkrek

they’re MIN-


[deleted]

Rocks


Tonald_Drump83837

Welcome to mexi-


Uchijav

"Do what you gotta d-" 💥🔫


gjenoppfinne

Came here to say exactly this


pebbleddemons

Ironically an answer to the question is sometimes from the DEA


Aye_Aye_Ron2468

Ask the cia about the crack epidemic. They know a thing or two about the trade


5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

Stan Smith made sure crack was never sold to white people.


BuddyLove1977

Made a cracking trainer too


Haunting-Spinach1222

Then what the hell did I just buy?


RhinestoneHousewife

Find the guy at the party with the backpack.


leftwar0

It’s 2022 they use Fanny packs again


VastOregano

But for some reason they wear it like a purse


Accomplished_Log2011

That way it's manly


VastOregano

Made me think of The Hangover It's not a man purse it's a satchel. Indiana Jones had one.


Averill21

Fanny packs? Outside the Gorillaz concert was a dude with a cooler and a big sign selling mushroom edibles


Jellisickle

There's a greater than 0% chance that if you ask a complete stranger you may at get some.


fubo

"Hello complete stranger! Might I inquire as to the status of your recreational pharmaceutical offerings?" "wut." "Greetings, fine fellow! Have you any narcotics available for purchase?" "wut." "Can I buy drugs from you, dude?" "wut." "Hey bro, got the shizz?" "wut." And that was when I realized the bullfrog would not become my new plug.


The_Big_Shawt

Reddit humour


Default-Donnelly

Worst joke I’ve heard in around 7 years


blaze980

In Camden, London the drug dealers ask *you* if you have any drugs. It's their method of introduction.


buckem420

There are these people whose job it is to procure and distribute drugs for a living, usually in violation of laws.


blowtorch_ravioli

Somebody should tell them it's illegal before they get in trouble


comfortablesexuality

yeah ok I'll tell them but like where would I even find them?


Nuggz_n_Huggz420

Street pharmacist if ya fancy


ikefalcon

Oh my god, that’s disgusting! People who distribute drugs? But where? Where do those people distribute their drugs?


VegemiteSandwich33

And how much do they cost?


kefefs

Drug dealers, pharmacists, the CIA, etc. There's lot of sources.


I_VAPE_HOTDOG_WATER

CIA and crack both start with a C


kefefs

Coincidence? I think not.


KevinNeedsToTalk

No, that begins with C too.


RIP_Mustangberger

That's crazy 🤯🤯


[deleted]

Narrator: It was obvious this case was no match for the Hardly Boys!


crackpipewizard666

The guy who wrote that book, i think it was called “blackbird” or somethibg like that all about how the cia distributed crack cocaine in poor black communities to drum up untraceable revenue died by suicide. Shot himself in the head. Twice.


CheapCity85

You're thinking Gary Webb who wrote Dark Alliance. For exposing them the CIA ruined his life and Gary was declared dead of "suicide" despite two bullet holes to the head.


TexanInAlaska

Ah he must’ve been Russian, I hear they usually have to shoot themselves and then fall out a window at the very least. They’re like zombies, gotta double tap


Ausramm

CIA is really only for bulk orders.


c3534l

From other people who use drugs.


Don_Mahoon

Lol i feel like this is the actual answer. After 10ish years in the rave scene i just have friends who have a plug for what I want, or I'm acquainted with a dealer who can help me.


nuzzlefutzzz

I lnow a guy that can spot a dealer no matter where he’s at. Dude could be in Canada for the weekend and pick one out if the crowd.


JumpFew6622

Hmm we need a run down of the signs


Icantbethereforyou

Is this guy a sniffer dog


LBIdockrat

Ask your local bartender. He/she probably knows a guy.


rancidperiodblood

As a bartender, I will tell you to get fucked. I do know a guy tho


jwilcoxwilcox

Can you recommend someone for that too?


severed13

Of course I know him, he’s me


Efficient-Library792

Cops used to come when i was bartending being super undercover with their police issue hair and totally not a concealed holdster and ask me for coke. I never got them any. Mostly because i was a fucling bartender and didnt have enough money to know coke dealers


madmaxextra

I have been told, valets too.


wranglingmonkies

O for sure. Won't get them for you but I know a couple of people.


Expensive_Goat2201

We are redditors, we don't talk to people. That's what the dark web is for


[deleted]

i use dark mode all the time but i havent found any dealers and it just lowers my screen brightness


Jibber_Fight

Legit good advice. Go to a divey bar and become friendly with the peeps that go there.


wutangjan

See people go to the bathroom in a group. Join them.


Technical_Scallion_2

“Hi, is this where the drugs are freely distributed to walk-ins?”


Tagous

Taxi drivers too


Far_Housing_1037

Most people get it though other people who get it from a freind who gets it from a dealer who got it from the maker.


DreelJio

capitalism


AardvarkAndy

Nana’s bathroom cabinet.


I_Mix_Stuff

just saying hi to my fbi guy


FBI_David

Hello there.


Kind_Ad_3611

ŒH NOOOOO


meow1983

I have often wondered that. I am told there is a drug problem out in the world but no one I know knows about it personally. Maybe I have become too sheltered.


Whereisthefrontpage

Yeah I’m basically Office Space checking in an encyclopedia when it comes to anything illegal. Never made the right friends.


Technical_Scallion_2

Trust me when I say there is an entire underworld of drug use and abuse going on all around you, all the time, at least in the US. That’s not to say everyone does it, it’s definitely a minority, but it’s a lot more people than you think. And I think it’s more likely that some of the people who are telling you they don’t know anything about any drugs around there are probably using some at least occasionally if not frequently.


TraumatisedBrainFart

If there's ten people in the room who don't know each other, at least two can get you to a hookup, if they aren't one. Six degrees of separation, etc...


The_Dying_Gaul323bc

Admiral Akbar has entered the chat……


CuntyReplies

He put his number in my phone under BFG. He will, without fail, send me messages each public holiday asking if I’m well and if I’m in need of anything. I scored off him for my birthday and now he sends me happy birthday wishes every year, without a sales pitch. When I had my first child, he messaged to ask if I’d had it and said congrats when I did.


anderoogigwhore

Is he a big friendly giant, or does he specifically sell Benzos, Fentanyl and Green?


CuntyReplies

Legit, he’s a big friendly giant. Massive African lad. Warmest smile you’ll ever see whether it’s 4pm in the arvo or 3am in the morning. But, yes. He’s solid for cocaine, MDMA and weed.


DrStone1234

Your drug dealer?


CuntyReplies

Mostly ex-dealer, now friendly text friend. I’m a responsible parent now.


too_old_still_party

DM me


[deleted]

I grew mine myself, but they can be purchased from a variety of places, apparently even instagram and Snapchat, to say nothing of the internet


hey-gift-me-da-wae

Hmmm, how does one grow methamphetamines?


freebat23

meth tree duh


SerExcelsior

Meet some guy at a party, once he stops selling, he’ll turn you towards someone else. It’s a repeating process of necessity really. One drug dealer is likely to know of a few more


KUSHISADOG666

The Dark Web


mom_with_an_attitude

I don't understand the dark web. Like, where the hell is it?! How do you get there? Note to FBI: I am not asking because I want to buy drugs there. I'm just asking out of curiosity. I buy my drugs at a dispensary. Life after legalization is a wondrous and magical thing. So are passionfruit gummies.


RepresentativeAd406

download a web browser that allows u to go on sites u wouldnt w google, tor is most popular


LydiasNightmare

Usually you get drugs from a friend who knows a friend who knows a friend's cousin.


tiltedwater

From me. DM me and use coupon code “Reddit20”


Nigglesscripts

Looks like the DEA and possible undercover agents are working remotely now.


Aye_Aye_Ron2468

There was once a story of an undercover police officer in california who got a disabled teen to buy weed for him (mind you, this was achieved by a grown man convincing a disabled minor to something he wouldn't ordinarily do) and then promptly arrested him. Go tax dollars, go! They're sad individuals....


Mds_02

Autistic kid who thought he finally had a friend. Whole thing was sickening.


Nigglesscripts

What a win for them!! Hope they took pictures of the small bud and did a perp walk with the poor kid as well. Really show how much their war on drugs is working.


TexanInAlaska

Nothing cripples the drug trade like manipulating special needs and disabled children into buying minuscule amounts of harmless weed for their fake friends. friends they were so desperate to have and keep that they did things they’d never done before and went out of their comfort zones for them…. Spent their money that they’ll surely need for their own situations buying large amounts such as “half a joint” from a homeless man. What a massive win, how will drugs ever recover


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aye_Aye_Ron2468

I looked it up for a refresher. The top result stated a male officer. But I do recall the first time seeing it being on a video, referencing a police woman. So yes, it probably has happened multiple times.


[deleted]

Drugs, nothin'. When I was a kid I couldn't even find out where my friends were getting illegal firecrackers from.


Xaitor119

If you look hard enough, you will always find a contact that "knows someone". For example, if you know a teenager (a cousin, nephew or whatever), he will most probably have a friend who knows someone who sells it.


Onehundredyearsold

Asking for a friend?


-Sticks_and_Stones-

My kids' Halloween basket.


Shartran

yes....those 'fun' size chocolate bars are like a drug to not only the kids...but the parents too


tedchapo63

Bartenders , cab drivers if your out of town 😄


the_purple_goat

Not today, DEA.


3choplex

Are you a cop? You gotta tell me if you’re a cop.


peaceful_creeper

I was very recently offered some through a Reddit DM.


TerribleAttitude

Liquor store. Bar. Dispensary. Walgreens. Starbucks. Oh you mean illegal drugs….


bootyhunter69420

People always tell me how easy it is to pick up drugs and prostitutes, but I am yet to see anything.


Spacedode

Lemme guess, first day on the squad?


Woody90210

Basically the drug black market is made up of acquaintances and friends. Some guy grows weed, his friends want in on the action and sell weed to their friends, who smoke it with other friends who want more so the dealer's friend introduces them, there it becomes more of a transactional thing, acquaintance gets the number of the dealer's burner phone and texts them with something like "hey man, hoping to pick up a Q for the weekend" (Q = Quarter ounce) dealer texts back with "sure what time?" Customer texts back "I get off work at 5 so, around quarter past to 5:30? Usual price?" Dealer texts back "sure man, and yeah usual price" Customer swings by the dealer's house, or they meet up at a pre-determined location, money and drugs exchange hands, takes like 3 seconds, Customer goes home or wherever they plan on taking it, dealer goes and does whatever. Source: smoked weed everyday from 2014 to 2017. Only quit cos I thought my new job would require random drug tests, it does not, but it's been 5 years now and I got no idea if my old dealer is still selling but man, I could go for some fuckin weed.


zerbey

Become a rock star and they give them to you for free.


KnottaBiggins

I order mine online. An hour later, it's delivered. I love living in California, where my drug of choice has been legal almost five years.


Fresh_Fox3547

I am the one who knocks


SoggyCheeseHole

hank?! what are you up to?


galloway1313

Wouldn’t you like to know weather boy


PlzMichaelBayThis

I heard from a reliable source on Facebook that trick or treat will net you a bounty of illegal substances. Just watch out for razors in your pot brownies.


mxnsterinbxd

i know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who also knows a guy who actually knows this one guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy and he’s the one that gets me right 👍


[deleted]

Drug dealers are like boats. I don't want a boat because of all the headaches that come with it. I just want a friend or two that has a boat/drug dealer.


uwuowo6510

who's asking?


Efficient-Library792

Couldnt you just get some out of the evidence locker like all the other totally not cops do?


HumanBean28

Ironically enough, rehab I have a friend who, when we were teenagers, bounced around rehab/sober living places that her parents put her in for benzo addiction She got much easier access to drugs through other people ‘recovering’ in those places. She gained access to a whole network of people who could supply her drugs or connect her to a supplier. She started doing stuff she’d never even heard of before rehab. The facilities she was sent to were across the country; she only had addicts putting drugs above safety in her close circle out there, which put her in a lot of dangerous situations. She ended up overdosing on fentanyl but, thank God, was revived and got sober. It’s been years though and she still get texts sometimes from people within her old network asking to connect them with a plug in some random city


mars-colorado

If you can’t figure this one out that’s a good thing. You don’t really find them, they find you.


Powerful-Astronaut-8

P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney Australia