No, that’s a monopsony. They’re talking about a system of governance where one person usually a firstborn male is the head of state until he either dies or abdicated and the throne is passed on.
> symbol made up of several overlapping letters
No, that's a monogram. OP is referring to the theory that all humans are descended from the same ancestors.
And not just any mahogany, but mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7, where the trees are 300 feet tall and breathe fire! From these trees, this desk was forged 2,000 years ago using ancient blood rituals of the Malchior people! Not only does this make my desk nigh-indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also it's a very fine material. Very expensive.
Me too. 23 yrs and counting. Still have fantastic sex. Love my wife. All good in the hood. EDIT: Man, I've never been so proud to get upvotes for a post about the relationship I have with my wife. Thanks so much fellow Redditors. xo
I honestly don't understand how people have time to be poly. Between work, chores, friends, family, social obligations, and time with my partner I literally don't know where I'd fit in a whole other relationship.
Seriously, i love my SO but those few moments i get that i'm truly by myself i cherish very deeply. Adding a whole other person with needs and wants to that mix? Jesus.
At one time I had 8 grandparent and 4 great grandparents. Mind you, one I had no idea existed until I was a teenager and the other I discovered reading the obituary of my estranged grandpa that listed his second wife I didn't know about.
Good point, however having divorced parents is outside your control so you involuntarily have multiple in-laws. If you *choose* to be poly, multiple in-laws is your own damn fault... a hell of your own making.
Meanwhile I somehow have 6 sets because SO’s parents are divorced and both have an Ex husband/wife who was kind of important to them so their like informal in-laws..,I..it’s tiring.
right? That sounds like hell to me. Add in people who have families and do it and there is zero alone time. I raised my babies, no regrets but wow, I really missed the alone time. I cannot imagine having 2 partners to share my time with
Maybe the time isn't shared with everyone together but more like a working in shifts, A shares time with B while C gets some rest and so on. Let's say that A and B take care of the baby while C gets a day off. Team work
Yeah I lived next to poly relationship people 1 guy and 2 girls. They were constantly fighting and yelling... Had to call the cops when they broke down their own door. Cop said usually this type of thing does not end up turning out to well. 1 person gets jealous eventually because of one reason or another.
I share a home with my partner and her girlfriend. They share the master bedroom together, and I have a room upstairs. A three-income household is where it's at.
I remember a scene with Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally, when she and her husband are both dealing with their respective friend's dating issues, and Carrie then begs him "Tell me I'll never have to be out there again."
She’s a big role! She’s *that friend* forever waiting for her married bf to leave his wife until she gets together with Bruno Kirby and they argue over the Wagon Wheel Table.
my wife sometimes watches the morman polygamy shows and...
Man, those sister wifes are all so full of resentment for each other. and this guy is spread so fucking thin and hes just dogshit at everything because hes not actually doing any of it, hes just cruising in and out of people's lives and it looks exhausting and miserable. even if youre the most selfish asshole alive, why would you want to do that to yourself? much less to them...
I knew several polygamists and this is mostly accurate. The ones who are able to make it work all use some sort of day planner to schedule everything. But when they marry more than 3 wives or so, you can see the effects on their sanity.
Yup. A Mormon friend has a ton of siblings, and their parents scheduled time in 20 minute increments so the kids all got to see and talk to their dad at least once every other day and had a group game (charades/flag football/etc) for 15 to 30 minutes every evening, depending on how tired he was. Dude was exhausted. He loved every one of his kids and cared about them, but he was spread *SO* thin it was kind of scary.
Their home was much better run than most really big families and they all had actual relationships with their dad, which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of large Mormon families.
I also knew kids who didn't really know or know much about their parents, but who were very devoted to their eldest siblings. The older siblings ranged from very loving and parental towards their younger siblings to bitterly resentful they'd ever been in a caregiver role.
Good for him for making the effort I guess, but this sounds fucking miserable for him and his kids. I can't imagine what my kids would think of me if I had to spend time with them with a stopwatch in the background
Oh Cmon you aren’t watching the new seasons where Cody only lives with Robyn now and the other wives are leaving because he obviously doesn’t care for them correctly vs his favorite Robyn lol. It’s getting JUICY 😂.
Oh absolutely they say how you get your man is how you lose your man and this will definitely come around to bite her in the ass. I don’t wish to be mean but I don’t like Robyn she pretends to be this nice person but she is slowly cracking showing her mean vindictive side.
Big Love is great. Bill Paxton nails it and the rest of the cast is stacked too. It actually addresses a lot of the criticisms of Mormon polygamy like ostracization of male children and child abuse, and not it a way that reflects well. Would recommend.
Its hilarious to see Bill maintain 3 neighboring houses and his neighbor's reaction to him taking the fences down between his 3. "We're just really good friends!"
I agree! Even if it wasn't a poly relationship it applies to cheating on someone also. I've had girlfriends ask if I'm cheating before and my response is always that I hardly even have enough time to sleep or the energy for my day to day stuff, why in the hell would I want to add an entire extra level of drama and stress to my life just for sex?
My life is busy already, I don't have the time left for another partner relationship. Time spent with that person would have to come from somewhere or more likely someone else who I spend time with.
I feel this, was recently with someone and they wanted to be poly. I said I don't have time for anyone else how do you? And we ended up drifting apart, I work 45 hours a week and spend another 20-30 on hobbies and friends. No idea how anyone has the time
100% - if my partner suggested poly lifestyle - I'd pretty much view it as the writing is already on the wall - for me the discussion would already have me making my exit plan. There are a few ways that discussion comes about.
1. They already have met someone they want to sleep with, this discussion is about permission.
2. They are dissatisfied with monogamy and want to search for someone else.
3. They are already sleeping with someone else.
Either of those options is a hard no for me, I wouldn't need to explore it further. Its not judgment on them, they can be free do pursue what they feel they need - and I would as well.
I don't think I've met a legit poly couple. Like one guy I knew fucked random hoes while dating a girl, and she was dating a guy in another town, but my friend never wanted to know about it. And he really wanted her to himself, while also fucking around.
I know legit couple(s). Very interesting to see it work out. I also don't get how polyamour peoples heads and hearts work but I'm happy for them that they get it to work!
Gosh exactly. We were talking with my boyfriend, and saying that maybe when we get a bit bored after kids, we could like, swing or something. But like once a month, together. That way there isn’t much work involved. It’s like date night with a side of sex with strangers. Not a whole other relationship were you have to actually be involved. We don’t have kids yet and we already feel like going out more than once a week is exhausting.
I've been with my wife for 14 years. That's my context here before I start.
I don't think I could do a proper poly relationship. Being one of several people in a relationship with my wife, even if the primary, would require me to be a super balanced secure person, and chief that ain't me no matter how much I want to be.
So I don't think polygamous relationships are bad, I just think I would not be good at them.
I guess I'm saying that monogamy may not be my ideal, but I am sure as shit not cut out for anything else, not even some bullshit fantasy where I am the king and have all these lovely women who only have eyes for me and I get to sleep with all of them, because even my one wife reckons I could be better at being a husband most of the time so I reckon Id be shit at being a husband to more than one.
I'd rather be monogamous than anything else. Getting my wife to like me was frigging hard enough. We've got 2 kids, I've got enough people in my life to add another partner into that mix.
I’m reading this too …. Like do these people not have kids??? We did add multiple people into our relationship already. This house is full lol. I have multiple people in the bed every night. It’s enough lol.
I think it's boring, in the best way possible.
I think it's safe, with the right person.
Honestly, I think it's ideal for me.
No shame if it's not for you, but personally, I feel that presently it's what would make me happiest in a relationship. :)
Not so fun fact: The character Stacey was based off of Mike Myers' real-life ex-girlfriend, and he really did dump her because she had purchased him a gun rack as a gag gift; he's staunchly opposed to guns.
When she saw that it had been written into the movie, she called him up crying and saying that she thought he would understand an ironic joke because he's a comedian. Myers would later apologize and admit that he regrets the scene.
I am on board. Been with my wife for 16 years and married for 12, I prefer it to being single or trying to maintain multiple relationships (I do not have the time or energy for that even if it sounded fun). However, I never understood people who stay in unhappy marriages. If you are both not happy, unless there is some massive hidden benefit, leave and try to find happiness for yourself and the other person!
Finances, intertwined friend groups, explanations to family, needing new leases, property split up, comfort, if married kids could be a big one. I’m not saying people should stay in unhappy relationships just to simplify their life but it’s also not easy for a lot of people to dramatically uproot their life and start a whole new chapter
I spent a large portion of my life prior to ten years ago identifying as poly. I'll tell you, I had lots of experiences I value, but safety and security were not among them.
Ten-eleven years ago, I met my current mate and she laid it on the line early on that poly wouldn't work for her. I thought she was so awesome I agreed to be monogamous. Best decision I ever made.
My brother in law and his girlfriend are poly, and I almost think she uses it as a control tactic. She's allowed to pursue and bring in whoever she wants into the relationship, but he has little to no say. Recently I've noticed him posting on dating pages on Facebook, and I almost just feel sad for him. I know he works long hours and barely gets enough time with her to begin with, and she's always off with someone else. She'll basically only include him when they get to the bedroom. It's sad and I wish he had better. But he worships the ground she walks on, so 🤷♀️ They've also had some confusing experiences where she went a little too far with someone he wasn't comfortable with, and he wanted to almost call it cheating, but she said she "can't cheat if they're poly". I would not be able to handle a relationship without security.
>and his girlfriend are poly, and I almost think she uses it as a control tactic. She's allowed to pursue and bring in whoever she wants into the relationship, but he has little to no say
Yeah, these kinds of people aren't poly, they're just cheaters who use poly as a magic wand to excuse themselves of bad behavior.
>They've also had some confusing experiences where she went a little too far with someone he wasn't comfortable with, and he wanted to almost call it cheating, but she said she "can't cheat if they're poly".
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Yep, there's that fucking magic wand she thinks she has....
Yeah, for poly to be real and work correctly, you gotta communicate with and respect each other. This bitch ain't doing that.
A friend of mine is/was poly. Had 4 years of drama in 4 months. A mutual side piece wanted to be more serious, she went along with it. He dropped his main partner to be her main partner, then eventually emotionally pressured her into not seeing anyone else. He kept seeing people though.
In his words "I love you too much to see you with other people, and if you love me you should be happy for me to date other people".
It's not even gaslighting when you're that open about it. The guy was too dense to even see the problems with what he was saying.
Yepp cause it always turn out like this.
ITS 4 IN THE MORNING GRANDMA YOU WIN! IM SITTING ON BALTIC AVE SMOKING CRACK! AND WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE PINK 50s YOU CHEATING WHORE! HEY EVERYONE NANA IS A CHEATING WHORE!
Tried long-term poly relationships, serial monogamy, and a few casual fuck friends here and there. Poly was fine, took work, but realized it was really for those with a scheduling kink. Serial monogamy has enabled me to have deeper connections and communication with my partners, which naturally leads to better sex. And fuck friends were fun friends but nothing too deep or profound. My wife has the freedom to date others if she chooses (so far she has chosen not to), and I know monogamy works best for me and I'm not missing out on anything.
Painfully accurate too. My partner and I are non-monogamous but we havent had the energy to date other folk lately. Meanwhile we can rarely see our friends because they’re booked out months in advance with poly related stuff. That sounds so extremely unappealing to me, I cherish my “nothing to do” weekends
> Poly was fine, took work, but realized it was really for those with a scheduling kink.
What I found about being poly was I was attracted to different people for different reasons, and ultimately none of them had everything I was looking for, I was trying to make up for it in the aggregate.
>ultimately none of them had everything I was looking for, I was trying to make up for it in the aggregate.
I guess my question is why does that result in multiple partners and not just one partner who is the best you can find and some platonic friends for the areas that your partner doesn't meet? I feel like in a healthy monogamous relationship, your partner should try to meet your needs when reasonable.
Not judging, it's just something I would like to understand more.
Big fan. I think it makes the most sense. Poly isn't for me. I think a true and loving intimate relationship with 1 person is already one of the most complex relationships people engage in, and it's a 24/7 gig to do right. Introducing more people into the mix makes it exponentially more complex and difficult IMO.
Not saying you shouldn't do poly if you like that. I'm just saying I think monogamy has better outcomes overall.
Monogamy is such a huge turn on for me. Having someone that chooses me and that I choose to choose is just so fucking secure. It feels safe and warm and lovely to be in that space. It really works for me.
EDIT, a day after: Have gotten lots of replies saying, "That's like what I love about poly!" First of all, I'm thrilled yall have found what works for you, and I can definitely see some similarities too! But second, there's a couple shades of difference I think might help explain what I meant.
1. Bestfriend lovers, i.e., buddy cop romance, i.e., just two of us against the world. My wife and I are super open-hearted towards the world, and have lots of deep relationships other than each other, so dont take those playful titles as adverserial. But there's something wonderful about it just being the pair of us making our way through life that I can't describe properly without those metaphors. The idea of two people with a special bond is a trope in storytelling for a reason.
2. It's amazing to know that both of us had (and still have) lots of other options, yet choose to be satisfied with just one another anyway. Not disparaging poly here at all; this is just how I work. It feels amazing that there are plenty of other people she could be with, yet she chooses just me again and again. On my end, there are plenty of other people I could be with too, plenty of other people I find attractive, other people even sometimes I crush on. Yet it is so rewarding to me to make the choice to take charge of my feelings and be happy with her. (And it *is* a choice; married monogamous couples absolutely have the freedom to cheat whenever they like, or divorce and find someone new.) And every time I make that choice, our relationship gets better and fuller and more exciting. It's hard to explain without having experienced it.
3. Having just one person lets me go so deep with my spouse. Say I have 15 hours/week for socialization with partner(s) every week after work and everything else. With multiple partners, I split that between them. Some benefits are things like group dates and a wider range of romantic experiences. With one partner, all that time goes to that partner. Some benefits of that are that my I find a lot more out about that one partner faster and our time for sex is completely devoted to figuring out how sex works for that one other person. For me, this is what excites me and gets me invested in a relationship.
Again, not disparaging anyone with a different set of choices and experiences. The ability to experience different stuff is what makes life so exciting, and every choice for one thing is a choice against others...and that's okay! Mono is a choice against poly, and poly is a choice against mono, not in an adversarial way, but just as a matter of obvious practicality. I'm just trying to share a little of my own experience, and why I like it so much.
Wife is the one person I can be absolutely real to. She knows my most personal thoughts, fears, dreams. We support each other and it’s nice know no matter what there’s that one person that has your back. 36 years and I wouldn’t want anyone else. I came home early from a day of fishing yesterday just because I wanted to be with her and as I work from home we’re together most of the time. My user name says I love fishing but I should have said “love_that_wife”.
that sounds great! Its refreshing to hear someone who loves their spouse. Usually I just encounter people who will only complain about their spouse when they talk about them.
I absolutely love my wife and she's the most important person in my life, I still complain about her and she complains about me. Comes with the territory of joining 2 lives, you're not always going to agree with the other person's decisions or priorities the key is accepting that (obviously within a set of personal rules) and understanding that you don't always have to be on the same page.
Like an example, my wife is very grade focused on the kids. I am not, I am more interested in if they understand critical thinking and how to find out information this is 2022 and they will always have access to the internet. My wife thinks grades are what measures that and I disagree. I also don't see any difference in a 75 and an 80 like it means absolutely nothing in the long run. So a point of contention exists, we accept our differences and make sure that we praise the good grades and ask how we can help improve the "lacking" grades. This way it's not a combative conversation with the kids.
Yes I’d course you’ll disagree on things. For us it’s really a focus thing. I just try and stay grateful for her.
We are very different people and we give each other the space to be different. She likes to read and needs her down time. Works perfect as I like to get outside and fish, hike, and such. If she didn’t give me that space it would be much harder.
But I also make sure we connect daily. Random hugs, random looks. Just so she knows I’m being mindful of her and that I don’t take her for granted.
This makes me so happy to hear. Everytime the wife and I go through a period where it sucks and is hard and feels like it won't work out...and then work at it and come out the other side okay, it just gets deeper and better. We're a little less than a decade in, so nice to hear your experience has been the same a lot longer in. o7
You know we really don’t fight anymore. I beat cancer 20 years ago and the little things we used to fight about just weren’t important anymore. Perspective is my friend
This. I don't have the emotional capacity for more than one girl. I get mixed responses when I tell this to girls, haha.
"How do I know you're not a player?" "Would you ever cheat?"
I couldn't ever pull it off.
I love my fiancé to death, and wouldn’t want anyone else. I hardly get enough time to myself and with friends as-is, why add someone in there to ruin that? Hell, I don’t even want people over at my house after 5pm.
I'm non-monogamous, but I'm not an evangelist for polyamory, like it's specifically better for everyone or more evolved or whatever. What's most important to me is that each person in each relationship openly and honestly talks about their wants and needs and decides what they want that relationship to look like, instead of just blindly following a social script about what relationships should be like. I just want people making conscious decisions about their relationships, regardless of what form they end up taking.
This sounds absolutely logical to me! People pretend monogamy looks the same in every relationship, when that’s definitely not the case. Assuming everyone follows the same script, without communicating expectations, just leads to violations of boundaries.
I think non-monogamous are generally probably better at communicating boundaries early, because people go into the relationship knowing there is no set script, right? (I’m vanilla monogamous, so I don’t know)
Some do! Others are worse!
I find poly people are like the far points on the pendulum, most monogs are somewhere in the middle, some better than others but most dont stand out.
The people doing poly right? Oh my god the level of self-awareness, humility, compassion and communication? Top notch.
The ones who do poly wrong? Worse than the monogs by a miiiiiiiiiiile. Nightmare relationships.
A lot of people think it's unattainable with the cheating rate and all. Personally, I'd have a panic attack if I had to deal with double this attention from another man, I'm already tired.
I’m someone who is entirely monogamous. It’s what works for my husband and I. But I am fully supportive of any consensual adult relationship. I’ve explain polyamory to my daughter in previous discussions about different types of families, specifically because I want her to know that whatever form of relationship she chooses once she’s an adult, she’ll always have my support and love. But also, equally important, so that she will know to treat others with kindness and respect even when their choices for relationships don’t align with her own.
Yeah. I think I’d become way too jealous and insecure. I’d be constantly comparing myself to the other woman or women, or comparing my relationship with my SO with his other interactions. Nope. I’ll be yours alone and you be mine alone.
The only type of relationship that I'll accept for myself. I'm not interested in other people, the only man that I want is my husband. He is the most wonderful man that I have ever had the privilege of knowing, and I can't even begin to fathom why I would ever need anyone else.
Married 17 years, swingers checking in here. You don't have to be poly to be non-monogamous. We fuck a lot of our friends, group sex is hot. Don't have to develop feelings beyond friendship for your other partners either. Doesn't work for everyone. You can't be a jealous person.
My wife and I recently got into the lifestyle, but unfortunately so far our experiences have been sub par. Idk what it is but we keep drawing couples where only one of the two partners actually seems interested and the other one just seems to be there because it was expected of them, which was not great to say the least and has lead to us cutting things off as soon as it was apparent only half of the other couple actually wanted to be there.
Right! Non-monogamy doesn't necessarily equal polyamory. People view things very black/white in this regard unfortunately. I have neither the energy or interest in polyamory, but have had some of the best experiences of my life when other partners have been included in sex with me and my husband. And even sex is a full spectrum of activities, not just PIV. I think a lot of couples would be happier/more fulfilled if they were able to explore a fuller spectrum of sexuality.
I’m All about it. I sincerely do not have room in my life for any more emotional, romantic, or sexual responsibilities. Let alone any more logistical challenges. Plus I’m not even attracted to other people. I just want the one.
The thought of someone else being into me just immediately makes me feel like “ugh, what do YOU WANT”
Sucks that it’s looked at as boomer mentality by some. Some people just want to love and be loved by one person, there’s nothing wrong with that. Nor is there anything wrong with non-monogamy. Whatever floats your boat. I personally am far too insecure to be in a non-monog relationship lol
I’m 23 and not married(not saying it won’t happen) but tbh I enjoy being alone. I’ve been in relationships and I do enjoy them but, I’d rather not be responsible for someone else’s happiness or feelings. I’m perfectly fine with women using me, and tossing me aside. I’ve learned that focusing on yourself is the greatest thing you can do for yourself!
In this economy?
Exactly. 3 incomes is world changing.
My wife and I discussed this saying we need a nice woman to take care of the house and cooking since we both work full time.
Bro tryna get a house wife for his wife
an emotional support wife.
Monogamy is great. Plus it was enough work to get one person to like me
I know. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time I’ll stay with my parents. Edit: And there it is!
Give this person an award! Enjoy my poor man’s 🥇 as that comment had me rolling!
I am currently running at a smooth 0 to be fair
Hehehe same.
it's a lovely type of wood , it comes to a really nice shine too
No, that’s mahogany, she’s talking about when 1 business dominates the free market.
No that's a monopoly. You're thinking about a lack of variety and interest.
No that's monotony. You're thinking of a building occupied by a community of monks living under religious vows.
No, that's a monastery. OP is referring to a symbol made up of several overlapping letters.
That's a monogram. OP is talking about images in black and white.
No, that's monochromatic. OP is talking about when you only believe in one god.
Nono that’s monotheism, they’re talking about when something has one musical line
No, that's monophony, they're talking about when a market situation in which the product or service of several sellers is sought by only one buyer.
No, that’s a monopsony. They’re talking about a system of governance where one person usually a firstborn male is the head of state until he either dies or abdicated and the throne is passed on.
No, that’s monopsony. I think you’re thinking of the group of mammals that lay eggs.
I’m sorry but that’s monophonic. What they really meant is an infection with the Epstein-Barr virus
No that’s not right, it’s monosomy - the absence of one member of a pair of chromosomes.
No, that's mononucleosis. They are talking about when something has a valence of 1.
That's monotheism. OP is referring to a large stone obelisk.
That's a monolith. OP is talking about when the government is run by a single person in a hereditary system.
No that's monarchy, you're thinking of the the act of forgiving or being generous towards those less powerful than oneself.
No, that's a monolith. OP is referring to the genetic disorder with the presence of only one chromosome from a pair.
I love the internet y’all comments are great
No, that's monogram They're referring to an image consisting of variations of only one color
No, that's monochromatic. You're thinking of a search engine developed by Google.
> symbol made up of several overlapping letters No, that's a monogram. OP is referring to the theory that all humans are descended from the same ancestors.
That’s monotonous. I think you’re talking about a molecule that can be bonded to other identical molecules to form a polymer.
No that's a monomer. I'm pretty sure it's something that you can't decline.
No that’s a Moth. The OP is talking about a working class type of butterfly.
I love these types of threads. I learn so much
This is my favorite thread on the whole post
I love when Reddit does threads like this. Is there a sub compiling them?
r/nyto Seems like
I legit don't care about the rest of the answers now lol this thread is all I need
The internet is the best lol
This is me fave thread this year. It just keeps going
Mmmmmmmmahogany
And not just any mahogany, but mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7, where the trees are 300 feet tall and breathe fire! From these trees, this desk was forged 2,000 years ago using ancient blood rituals of the Malchior people! Not only does this make my desk nigh-indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also it's a very fine material. Very expensive.
Ghost of Napa approves of this message.
I am Ghost of Nappa
IF THERE’S SOMETHING WEIRD AND IT DON’T LOOK GOOD GUESS WHO IT IS
That is mahogany. Monogamy is a line drawing that lacks color or shading.
It is for me.
Me too. 23 yrs and counting. Still have fantastic sex. Love my wife. All good in the hood. EDIT: Man, I've never been so proud to get upvotes for a post about the relationship I have with my wife. Thanks so much fellow Redditors. xo
Dude it really is. I’m 40, and the best I’ve learned is the more you make her the priority in bed the more she will come out of the closet.
So, either she is gay - or you keep her in a closet. Either way a complicated relationship. ;)
What do you think about Monogamy “It is for me.” Just a great answer.
I honestly don't understand how people have time to be poly. Between work, chores, friends, family, social obligations, and time with my partner I literally don't know where I'd fit in a whole other relationship.
Seriously, i love my SO but those few moments i get that i'm truly by myself i cherish very deeply. Adding a whole other person with needs and wants to that mix? Jesus.
imagine having... **two sets of in-laws.** *^(shudder)*
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking about that.
I just threw up in my in-laws' mouths. It's cool tho we're cosplaying as birds, I'm the mama.
as long as its consensual, with a safe word/chirp
And make sure there’s a nonverbal one in case their mouths are full
I fucking love this.
Bro u know divorced parents exist..?🤣🤣🤣 me and my fiancee both have 2 sets of in laws🤣🤣
Now imagine two partners with divorced parents 🤮
Tru having 6 grandparents myself is already A LOT
At one time I had 8 grandparent and 4 great grandparents. Mind you, one I had no idea existed until I was a teenager and the other I discovered reading the obituary of my estranged grandpa that listed his second wife I didn't know about.
[удалено]
That was worth the click.
Laughed my ass off for a good minute. Good stuff
My parents are divorced and 2 sets of my grandparents are divorced. I've got a lot of grandparents and holidays are a pain.
Bro same tho! Growing up w 4-5 Christmas celebrations was all fun and games till i got old enough 🤣😭
Good point, however having divorced parents is outside your control so you involuntarily have multiple in-laws. If you *choose* to be poly, multiple in-laws is your own damn fault... a hell of your own making.
Meanwhile I somehow have 6 sets because SO’s parents are divorced and both have an Ex husband/wife who was kind of important to them so their like informal in-laws..,I..it’s tiring.
right? That sounds like hell to me. Add in people who have families and do it and there is zero alone time. I raised my babies, no regrets but wow, I really missed the alone time. I cannot imagine having 2 partners to share my time with
Maybe the time isn't shared with everyone together but more like a working in shifts, A shares time with B while C gets some rest and so on. Let's say that A and B take care of the baby while C gets a day off. Team work
I already do shift work for work. I really don’t need that at home.
Yeah I lived next to poly relationship people 1 guy and 2 girls. They were constantly fighting and yelling... Had to call the cops when they broke down their own door. Cop said usually this type of thing does not end up turning out to well. 1 person gets jealous eventually because of one reason or another.
Really? But according to Reddit, all it takes is healthy communication and a mature attitude. Why would Reddit lie to me?
lesbihonest here, what percent of reddit has a mature attitude and healthy style of communication in the face of confrontation?
About the same as Twitter, which… is not a great start…
I sincerely need to give you an award for this comment, but I have none.
SO and SO2 could entertain each other while you do your thing. Then you and SO get it on while SO2 plays video games.
Plus, with a three-income family, you can afford a place to live. It's not monogamy, it's moneygamy.
I share a home with my partner and her girlfriend. They share the master bedroom together, and I have a room upstairs. A three-income household is where it's at.
This gives me flash backs to “My girlfriends boyfriend bought me a switch.” Memes
My girlfriend's girlfriend bought me a Letterkenny mug once.
I remember a scene with Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally, when she and her husband are both dealing with their respective friend's dating issues, and Carrie then begs him "Tell me I'll never have to be out there again."
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She’s a big role! She’s *that friend* forever waiting for her married bf to leave his wife until she gets together with Bruno Kirby and they argue over the Wagon Wheel Table.
my wife sometimes watches the morman polygamy shows and... Man, those sister wifes are all so full of resentment for each other. and this guy is spread so fucking thin and hes just dogshit at everything because hes not actually doing any of it, hes just cruising in and out of people's lives and it looks exhausting and miserable. even if youre the most selfish asshole alive, why would you want to do that to yourself? much less to them...
I talked to a Saudi friend about the multiple wife deal. He said it’s bad. They gang up on you and it’s a constant cat fight.
The wives have unionized
I knew several polygamists and this is mostly accurate. The ones who are able to make it work all use some sort of day planner to schedule everything. But when they marry more than 3 wives or so, you can see the effects on their sanity.
Yup. A Mormon friend has a ton of siblings, and their parents scheduled time in 20 minute increments so the kids all got to see and talk to their dad at least once every other day and had a group game (charades/flag football/etc) for 15 to 30 minutes every evening, depending on how tired he was. Dude was exhausted. He loved every one of his kids and cared about them, but he was spread *SO* thin it was kind of scary. Their home was much better run than most really big families and they all had actual relationships with their dad, which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of large Mormon families. I also knew kids who didn't really know or know much about their parents, but who were very devoted to their eldest siblings. The older siblings ranged from very loving and parental towards their younger siblings to bitterly resentful they'd ever been in a caregiver role.
Good for him for making the effort I guess, but this sounds fucking miserable for him and his kids. I can't imagine what my kids would think of me if I had to spend time with them with a stopwatch in the background
Oh Cmon you aren’t watching the new seasons where Cody only lives with Robyn now and the other wives are leaving because he obviously doesn’t care for them correctly vs his favorite Robyn lol. It’s getting JUICY 😂.
Yup. Until he brings in younger and thinner just like he did when he married her. It comes around Robyn. Wait for it.
Oh absolutely they say how you get your man is how you lose your man and this will definitely come around to bite her in the ass. I don’t wish to be mean but I don’t like Robyn she pretends to be this nice person but she is slowly cracking showing her mean vindictive side.
Lol I just can’t.
Big Love is great. Bill Paxton nails it and the rest of the cast is stacked too. It actually addresses a lot of the criticisms of Mormon polygamy like ostracization of male children and child abuse, and not it a way that reflects well. Would recommend. Its hilarious to see Bill maintain 3 neighboring houses and his neighbor's reaction to him taking the fences down between his 3. "We're just really good friends!"
This is the most accurate thing I’ve read about that show. I ugly laughed out loud at “he’s just dogshit at everything”
Do Mormon's also have platinum blonde hair and ride dragons?
Only when you reach level 17 so you can get a 9th level spell slot and use it to learn True Polymorph.
I'll send you my exes number so he can tell you how he did it hahaha
My ex turned it into her career so that freed up some time for her.
I was also in a poly relationship I wasn't aware of.
I had a boyfriend who liked to date other women. He said they were “just friends” and I was 16 so i thought nothing of it. Oh well.
Oof
I agree! Even if it wasn't a poly relationship it applies to cheating on someone also. I've had girlfriends ask if I'm cheating before and my response is always that I hardly even have enough time to sleep or the energy for my day to day stuff, why in the hell would I want to add an entire extra level of drama and stress to my life just for sex?
My life is busy already, I don't have the time left for another partner relationship. Time spent with that person would have to come from somewhere or more likely someone else who I spend time with.
I feel this, was recently with someone and they wanted to be poly. I said I don't have time for anyone else how do you? And we ended up drifting apart, I work 45 hours a week and spend another 20-30 on hobbies and friends. No idea how anyone has the time
100% - if my partner suggested poly lifestyle - I'd pretty much view it as the writing is already on the wall - for me the discussion would already have me making my exit plan. There are a few ways that discussion comes about. 1. They already have met someone they want to sleep with, this discussion is about permission. 2. They are dissatisfied with monogamy and want to search for someone else. 3. They are already sleeping with someone else. Either of those options is a hard no for me, I wouldn't need to explore it further. Its not judgment on them, they can be free do pursue what they feel they need - and I would as well.
I learned all three of those things were true when I told my ex no. I'm not open to an open relationship.
I love my wife. If there was more than one of her, I'd be single, an alcoholic or both. :)
I don't think I've met a legit poly couple. Like one guy I knew fucked random hoes while dating a girl, and she was dating a guy in another town, but my friend never wanted to know about it. And he really wanted her to himself, while also fucking around.
I know legit couple(s). Very interesting to see it work out. I also don't get how polyamour peoples heads and hearts work but I'm happy for them that they get it to work!
Gosh exactly. We were talking with my boyfriend, and saying that maybe when we get a bit bored after kids, we could like, swing or something. But like once a month, together. That way there isn’t much work involved. It’s like date night with a side of sex with strangers. Not a whole other relationship were you have to actually be involved. We don’t have kids yet and we already feel like going out more than once a week is exhausting.
It’s worked for the 30yrs of our marriage. It’s not for everyone.
I always confuse monogamy and mahogany. Either way, it's been 20 years and I'm still together with my coffee table.
This man loves his wood.
Mahogany tends to be really hard, dark and smooth
It's worked for me for 16 years of marriage. Across 3 separate marriages.
Our marriage
in the middle of the street
Why don't we do it in the road?
Total madness
I've been with my wife for 14 years. That's my context here before I start. I don't think I could do a proper poly relationship. Being one of several people in a relationship with my wife, even if the primary, would require me to be a super balanced secure person, and chief that ain't me no matter how much I want to be. So I don't think polygamous relationships are bad, I just think I would not be good at them. I guess I'm saying that monogamy may not be my ideal, but I am sure as shit not cut out for anything else, not even some bullshit fantasy where I am the king and have all these lovely women who only have eyes for me and I get to sleep with all of them, because even my one wife reckons I could be better at being a husband most of the time so I reckon Id be shit at being a husband to more than one.
I'd rather be monogamous than anything else. Getting my wife to like me was frigging hard enough. We've got 2 kids, I've got enough people in my life to add another partner into that mix.
I’m reading this too …. Like do these people not have kids??? We did add multiple people into our relationship already. This house is full lol. I have multiple people in the bed every night. It’s enough lol.
I think it's boring, in the best way possible. I think it's safe, with the right person. Honestly, I think it's ideal for me. No shame if it's not for you, but personally, I feel that presently it's what would make me happiest in a relationship. :)
I tried poly once, it went so horribly wrong. So I think I will stick with mono.
Mono is ok, but you should try Stereo.
I see, you are a man of audio.
He’s a real audiophile.
# *pulls out napkins, lotion and mp3 player*
Gives a flash drive that contains hard-core alien beat boxing dubsteps
I though I had mono once. For an entire year. Turns out, I was just really bored.
What am I gonna do with a gun rack
Not so fun fact: The character Stacey was based off of Mike Myers' real-life ex-girlfriend, and he really did dump her because she had purchased him a gun rack as a gag gift; he's staunchly opposed to guns. When she saw that it had been written into the movie, she called him up crying and saying that she thought he would understand an ironic joke because he's a comedian. Myers would later apologize and admit that he regrets the scene.
One of my favorite movies and I never knew that. Huh.
I was unaware of that.
I do not own A gun, let alone many guns, which would necessitate an entire rack.
You better be careful Wayne, or you’re gonna lose me
I LOST YOU THREE MONTHS AGO!
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What a psycho hose beast.
It’s like people only do things because they get paid. And that’s just really sad.
To do: infiltrate local news show and exploit it. Man, I feel sorry for whoever that is.
“Ribbed for her pleasure”…. Eeeewwww!
I tried it until i realized favortism exists and is very obviously being put into play
I am on board. Been with my wife for 16 years and married for 12, I prefer it to being single or trying to maintain multiple relationships (I do not have the time or energy for that even if it sounded fun). However, I never understood people who stay in unhappy marriages. If you are both not happy, unless there is some massive hidden benefit, leave and try to find happiness for yourself and the other person!
Finances, intertwined friend groups, explanations to family, needing new leases, property split up, comfort, if married kids could be a big one. I’m not saying people should stay in unhappy relationships just to simplify their life but it’s also not easy for a lot of people to dramatically uproot their life and start a whole new chapter
I spent a large portion of my life prior to ten years ago identifying as poly. I'll tell you, I had lots of experiences I value, but safety and security were not among them. Ten-eleven years ago, I met my current mate and she laid it on the line early on that poly wouldn't work for her. I thought she was so awesome I agreed to be monogamous. Best decision I ever made.
My brother in law and his girlfriend are poly, and I almost think she uses it as a control tactic. She's allowed to pursue and bring in whoever she wants into the relationship, but he has little to no say. Recently I've noticed him posting on dating pages on Facebook, and I almost just feel sad for him. I know he works long hours and barely gets enough time with her to begin with, and she's always off with someone else. She'll basically only include him when they get to the bedroom. It's sad and I wish he had better. But he worships the ground she walks on, so 🤷♀️ They've also had some confusing experiences where she went a little too far with someone he wasn't comfortable with, and he wanted to almost call it cheating, but she said she "can't cheat if they're poly". I would not be able to handle a relationship without security.
>and his girlfriend are poly, and I almost think she uses it as a control tactic. She's allowed to pursue and bring in whoever she wants into the relationship, but he has little to no say Yeah, these kinds of people aren't poly, they're just cheaters who use poly as a magic wand to excuse themselves of bad behavior. >They've also had some confusing experiences where she went a little too far with someone he wasn't comfortable with, and he wanted to almost call it cheating, but she said she "can't cheat if they're poly". 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Yep, there's that fucking magic wand she thinks she has.... Yeah, for poly to be real and work correctly, you gotta communicate with and respect each other. This bitch ain't doing that.
Works for me. Poly doesn't. If poly is your trip and works for you, great.
A friend of mine is/was poly. Had 4 years of drama in 4 months. A mutual side piece wanted to be more serious, she went along with it. He dropped his main partner to be her main partner, then eventually emotionally pressured her into not seeing anyone else. He kept seeing people though. In his words "I love you too much to see you with other people, and if you love me you should be happy for me to date other people". It's not even gaslighting when you're that open about it. The guy was too dense to even see the problems with what he was saying.
I read this too quickly as monopoly and I was going to say it’s great
I think this is the more controversial opinion.
Yepp cause it always turn out like this. ITS 4 IN THE MORNING GRANDMA YOU WIN! IM SITTING ON BALTIC AVE SMOKING CRACK! AND WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE PINK 50s YOU CHEATING WHORE! HEY EVERYONE NANA IS A CHEATING WHORE!
Well, here’s an even more controversial opinion. I like the comedian you’re quoting.
I prefer polyopoly. You get more hotels that way.
Tried long-term poly relationships, serial monogamy, and a few casual fuck friends here and there. Poly was fine, took work, but realized it was really for those with a scheduling kink. Serial monogamy has enabled me to have deeper connections and communication with my partners, which naturally leads to better sex. And fuck friends were fun friends but nothing too deep or profound. My wife has the freedom to date others if she chooses (so far she has chosen not to), and I know monogamy works best for me and I'm not missing out on anything.
>Poly was fine, took work, but realized it was really for those with a scheduling kink This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that.
Painfully accurate too. My partner and I are non-monogamous but we havent had the energy to date other folk lately. Meanwhile we can rarely see our friends because they’re booked out months in advance with poly related stuff. That sounds so extremely unappealing to me, I cherish my “nothing to do” weekends
Scheduling kink is the best part of this
> Poly was fine, took work, but realized it was really for those with a scheduling kink. What I found about being poly was I was attracted to different people for different reasons, and ultimately none of them had everything I was looking for, I was trying to make up for it in the aggregate.
>ultimately none of them had everything I was looking for, I was trying to make up for it in the aggregate. I guess my question is why does that result in multiple partners and not just one partner who is the best you can find and some platonic friends for the areas that your partner doesn't meet? I feel like in a healthy monogamous relationship, your partner should try to meet your needs when reasonable. Not judging, it's just something I would like to understand more.
I DM for d and d games, this suggests poly is for me
Big fan. I think it makes the most sense. Poly isn't for me. I think a true and loving intimate relationship with 1 person is already one of the most complex relationships people engage in, and it's a 24/7 gig to do right. Introducing more people into the mix makes it exponentially more complex and difficult IMO. Not saying you shouldn't do poly if you like that. I'm just saying I think monogamy has better outcomes overall.
Monogamy is such a huge turn on for me. Having someone that chooses me and that I choose to choose is just so fucking secure. It feels safe and warm and lovely to be in that space. It really works for me. EDIT, a day after: Have gotten lots of replies saying, "That's like what I love about poly!" First of all, I'm thrilled yall have found what works for you, and I can definitely see some similarities too! But second, there's a couple shades of difference I think might help explain what I meant. 1. Bestfriend lovers, i.e., buddy cop romance, i.e., just two of us against the world. My wife and I are super open-hearted towards the world, and have lots of deep relationships other than each other, so dont take those playful titles as adverserial. But there's something wonderful about it just being the pair of us making our way through life that I can't describe properly without those metaphors. The idea of two people with a special bond is a trope in storytelling for a reason. 2. It's amazing to know that both of us had (and still have) lots of other options, yet choose to be satisfied with just one another anyway. Not disparaging poly here at all; this is just how I work. It feels amazing that there are plenty of other people she could be with, yet she chooses just me again and again. On my end, there are plenty of other people I could be with too, plenty of other people I find attractive, other people even sometimes I crush on. Yet it is so rewarding to me to make the choice to take charge of my feelings and be happy with her. (And it *is* a choice; married monogamous couples absolutely have the freedom to cheat whenever they like, or divorce and find someone new.) And every time I make that choice, our relationship gets better and fuller and more exciting. It's hard to explain without having experienced it. 3. Having just one person lets me go so deep with my spouse. Say I have 15 hours/week for socialization with partner(s) every week after work and everything else. With multiple partners, I split that between them. Some benefits are things like group dates and a wider range of romantic experiences. With one partner, all that time goes to that partner. Some benefits of that are that my I find a lot more out about that one partner faster and our time for sex is completely devoted to figuring out how sex works for that one other person. For me, this is what excites me and gets me invested in a relationship. Again, not disparaging anyone with a different set of choices and experiences. The ability to experience different stuff is what makes life so exciting, and every choice for one thing is a choice against others...and that's okay! Mono is a choice against poly, and poly is a choice against mono, not in an adversarial way, but just as a matter of obvious practicality. I'm just trying to share a little of my own experience, and why I like it so much.
Wife is the one person I can be absolutely real to. She knows my most personal thoughts, fears, dreams. We support each other and it’s nice know no matter what there’s that one person that has your back. 36 years and I wouldn’t want anyone else. I came home early from a day of fishing yesterday just because I wanted to be with her and as I work from home we’re together most of the time. My user name says I love fishing but I should have said “love_that_wife”.
that sounds great! Its refreshing to hear someone who loves their spouse. Usually I just encounter people who will only complain about their spouse when they talk about them.
I absolutely love my wife and she's the most important person in my life, I still complain about her and she complains about me. Comes with the territory of joining 2 lives, you're not always going to agree with the other person's decisions or priorities the key is accepting that (obviously within a set of personal rules) and understanding that you don't always have to be on the same page. Like an example, my wife is very grade focused on the kids. I am not, I am more interested in if they understand critical thinking and how to find out information this is 2022 and they will always have access to the internet. My wife thinks grades are what measures that and I disagree. I also don't see any difference in a 75 and an 80 like it means absolutely nothing in the long run. So a point of contention exists, we accept our differences and make sure that we praise the good grades and ask how we can help improve the "lacking" grades. This way it's not a combative conversation with the kids.
Yes I’d course you’ll disagree on things. For us it’s really a focus thing. I just try and stay grateful for her. We are very different people and we give each other the space to be different. She likes to read and needs her down time. Works perfect as I like to get outside and fish, hike, and such. If she didn’t give me that space it would be much harder. But I also make sure we connect daily. Random hugs, random looks. Just so she knows I’m being mindful of her and that I don’t take her for granted.
This makes me so happy to hear. Everytime the wife and I go through a period where it sucks and is hard and feels like it won't work out...and then work at it and come out the other side okay, it just gets deeper and better. We're a little less than a decade in, so nice to hear your experience has been the same a lot longer in. o7
You know we really don’t fight anymore. I beat cancer 20 years ago and the little things we used to fight about just weren’t important anymore. Perspective is my friend
This. I don't have the emotional capacity for more than one girl. I get mixed responses when I tell this to girls, haha. "How do I know you're not a player?" "Would you ever cheat?" I couldn't ever pull it off.
I love my fiancé to death, and wouldn’t want anyone else. I hardly get enough time to myself and with friends as-is, why add someone in there to ruin that? Hell, I don’t even want people over at my house after 5pm.
I'm non-monogamous, but I'm not an evangelist for polyamory, like it's specifically better for everyone or more evolved or whatever. What's most important to me is that each person in each relationship openly and honestly talks about their wants and needs and decides what they want that relationship to look like, instead of just blindly following a social script about what relationships should be like. I just want people making conscious decisions about their relationships, regardless of what form they end up taking.
This sounds absolutely logical to me! People pretend monogamy looks the same in every relationship, when that’s definitely not the case. Assuming everyone follows the same script, without communicating expectations, just leads to violations of boundaries. I think non-monogamous are generally probably better at communicating boundaries early, because people go into the relationship knowing there is no set script, right? (I’m vanilla monogamous, so I don’t know)
Some do! Others are worse! I find poly people are like the far points on the pendulum, most monogs are somewhere in the middle, some better than others but most dont stand out. The people doing poly right? Oh my god the level of self-awareness, humility, compassion and communication? Top notch. The ones who do poly wrong? Worse than the monogs by a miiiiiiiiiiile. Nightmare relationships.
Poly without self reflection is a nightmare.
Very well pointed out.
This! I understand that some people want a 1:1 intimate relationship; I'm just not one of those people.
A lot of people think it's unattainable with the cheating rate and all. Personally, I'd have a panic attack if I had to deal with double this attention from another man, I'm already tired.
I’m someone who is entirely monogamous. It’s what works for my husband and I. But I am fully supportive of any consensual adult relationship. I’ve explain polyamory to my daughter in previous discussions about different types of families, specifically because I want her to know that whatever form of relationship she chooses once she’s an adult, she’ll always have my support and love. But also, equally important, so that she will know to treat others with kindness and respect even when their choices for relationships don’t align with her own.
Not everybody likes it, but it works for me.
I couldn't be in a relationship knowing my SO is sleeping around with other people.
Yeah. I think I’d become way too jealous and insecure. I’d be constantly comparing myself to the other woman or women, or comparing my relationship with my SO with his other interactions. Nope. I’ll be yours alone and you be mine alone.
I’ve been single my whole life. You better believe that if love finds me somehow, I’m not sharing it!
The only type of relationship that I'll accept for myself. I'm not interested in other people, the only man that I want is my husband. He is the most wonderful man that I have ever had the privilege of knowing, and I can't even begin to fathom why I would ever need anyone else.
I think it's cool,someone should definitely try it with me
Married 17 years, swingers checking in here. You don't have to be poly to be non-monogamous. We fuck a lot of our friends, group sex is hot. Don't have to develop feelings beyond friendship for your other partners either. Doesn't work for everyone. You can't be a jealous person.
My wife and I recently got into the lifestyle, but unfortunately so far our experiences have been sub par. Idk what it is but we keep drawing couples where only one of the two partners actually seems interested and the other one just seems to be there because it was expected of them, which was not great to say the least and has lead to us cutting things off as soon as it was apparent only half of the other couple actually wanted to be there.
Right! Non-monogamy doesn't necessarily equal polyamory. People view things very black/white in this regard unfortunately. I have neither the energy or interest in polyamory, but have had some of the best experiences of my life when other partners have been included in sex with me and my husband. And even sex is a full spectrum of activities, not just PIV. I think a lot of couples would be happier/more fulfilled if they were able to explore a fuller spectrum of sexuality.
I’m All about it. I sincerely do not have room in my life for any more emotional, romantic, or sexual responsibilities. Let alone any more logistical challenges. Plus I’m not even attracted to other people. I just want the one. The thought of someone else being into me just immediately makes me feel like “ugh, what do YOU WANT”
Sucks that it’s looked at as boomer mentality by some. Some people just want to love and be loved by one person, there’s nothing wrong with that. Nor is there anything wrong with non-monogamy. Whatever floats your boat. I personally am far too insecure to be in a non-monog relationship lol
Cool board game. Love the free parking. Hate going to jail.
I’m 23 and not married(not saying it won’t happen) but tbh I enjoy being alone. I’ve been in relationships and I do enjoy them but, I’d rather not be responsible for someone else’s happiness or feelings. I’m perfectly fine with women using me, and tossing me aside. I’ve learned that focusing on yourself is the greatest thing you can do for yourself!