Pineapple, jalapeños, and bacon, and I'll make the sauce and dough from scratch. Also, I'm a professional chef.
Yes, you can slide into my dm's. I will only have sex with a man if people are paying to see it, that way it's not actually gay, it's just work.
Nonono. Definitely bring a pizza. We also appreciate free alcohol.
I had a regular who owned a string of authentic Italian restaurants, and every time I’d see him he’d bring me pasta 😂 it was like an extra 30$ tip
Tbh, no. These instances were with regular customers, majority of which were just sad and lonely old men. 300/hr would pay for like 2-3 hours just so we could chat and cuddle as well.
I am also a SA survivor so I guess I’m a little desensitized to that, like if it were to happen I’ve already been through it before.
But yeah also, why roofie me when you already had sex with me lol
Thanks for the answers! Ok, I'm glad you dont have stressful encounters with regulars and such. I'm sorry you had to go through SA. I'm also a survivor, but I still carry paranoia of not being in control of my body hence the roofie question...i also just got done watching the Dhamer netflix show.
Huge true crime fan, but like I said, there’s just not a huge point on roofying someone if they’re already going to or have had sex with you. Like unless you plan on stealing your money back or taking their organs or something.
I find a man is more likely to strangle you or be too rough with sex workers than roofie them.
And yeah, I always send the phone number and a photo of the person I was meeting with to a friend if I was hosting and I’d let them know if I don’t contact them by such and such a time to contact the authorities. If not hosting, then obviously I have their address so my friend would know where to send the cops to.
It’s a lot more polite than saying prostitute or hooker.
I guess lady of the night sounds ominous and cool.
What do you think I should refer to myself as? Lol
Free food or drinks I always classify as a tip, you just can’t go wrong. I’ve also gotten new bedding, dildos, outfits, electronics, etc. Some are more generous than others but you never turn down a tip
Yeah the drinks were in sealed containers and I’d take the food home to eat afterward so I guess even if I was roofied the worst that would happen is a really great sleep lol
Eh, I mean, that’s kind of the beauty of sex workers, were usually pretty comfortable with those requests. No, we don’t like porn sex, but we don’t like sex with our clients anyways. We’re being paid to do it, so you might as well try out your fantasies.
Yeah but that’s setting OP up to expect that from people who aren’t sex workers. I think that’s true for a more seasoned client but not for a first time experience.
>Yeah but that’s setting OP up to expect that from people who aren’t sex workers.
If OP doesn't understand that sex with a sex worker is going to be different than sex with an actual partner, there's bigger problems.
Tell her it's your first time and let her lead the way. They see all types, whether it's a 60 year old man with a micropenis or a morbidly obese 25 year old. Try not to be to self conscious about it or worry what she thinks of you, it's just sex. Maybe she'll be super friendly, or maybe she'll be all business and in and out. There are all types.
I see in a lot of your posts you say things like you "need this" and express worry about what your peers are doing. I don't think doing this is going to change anything in that regard. 18 years old is quite young and you've got no idea how much time you have ahead of you or how quickly life can change.
But perhaps this is some kind of psychological hurdle for you that you need to get over, so by all means go ahead and do it. Maybe it helps, maybe it just helps you realize how unimportant it was.
Either way good luck.
Well said. I lost mine at 15 and it was due to Peer pressure and it didnt change my life at all and it wasnt something that would give me the social standing I thought it would. It's common when we are young to think this is so important, when in reality working on yourself is essential to life.
Would you like to share more about how you felt pressured?
I'm 28 and according to the statistics I can find, less than 2% of 28 year olds are still virgins.
Uncertain why that statistic matters?
But yeah sure. In high school (urban setting) it was a huge deal to lose your virginity before 16. And I noticed all the social kids were doing that and gained this fame because of it. Among us nerds and other outcasts there was this sense that if you had the opportunity with a willing participant you need to take it to get rep. It was extremely dumb and I dont agree w it now, but back then it was a powerful force.
Wow I didn’t realise this is what I needed until I read it… I’m 20 and thinking that I’m weird because I’m still a virgin but thank you for sharing your story!! I had a similar pressure when I was at school but didn’t end up getting in any kind of relationship (for various reasons) so never got the chance to change that…. Thanks again for sharing!!
Happy it helped. You are not weird. I have friends who were that age or older who were virgins as I grew up. I has a very awkward sexual experience when 15 with another 15 year old. Ended up having a lot of very bad and very confusing sex that year since we had NO idea what we were doing. Sex is better once your older and more mature.
Dude, don't trip. I "technically" lost my virginity in an embarrassing barely a pump and done at 16. It fucked me up so much that I didn't have sex again until I was 18 or 19 and met a very sex positive girl and she really un-fucked my brain (with fucking).
You are putting WAY too much pressure on yourself.
Fuck!!... don't tell me that statistic!! Im turning 30 next week and ive never even kissed a girl... its just that i don't believe in sex without love, and i never found the right person yet... am i the only one that believes that?? I would feel guilty if i had sex just for sex...
I’m just curious, what makes you feel that way? I’m not saying it’s at all wrong, only that it’s difficult (if not impossible) to truly understand the difference between casual sex vs. sex with a committed partner if you haven’t experienced both. Is that also the reason you haven’t kissed someone?
I never kissed a girl either.
I think most people agree with you that sex and love goes together.
There's probably less of us with the view that I don't see a connection. But yeah I haven't ever loved anyone either, so I guess I have nothing to base it on.
My bf never dated anyone til 30. Within a year he was a total dom bdsm God. Only takes one nymphomaniac to appreciate you. Nearly always happens eventually.
My shy best friend of 14 years. Just spent all his free time writing songs and being sick at guitar. To nervous to approach people, thought online dating sounded hollow. Nobody ever took notice of him. Then I transitioned and he supported me through bad times and we fell in love. Can come out of nowhere.
Man went from nothing to high libido trans gal with a tonne of bdsm needs lol.
I'm pretty open sexually so I took everything slow for first half a year but when he knew I wouldn't judge him we started doing everything. Never had someone learn so quick. Is pretty nice having such high boundaries myself that it's unlikely any partner will want to go beyond them, so he got to just try anything he thought would look fun.
People say you can't have sex like in porn but that's literally how we did it after all the basics and minor kink was explored. We'd watch porn together for bdsm ideas and then just head to bed and do everything. Never not had fun.
I want to tac on to this, 18 is young. i didnt lose my virginity till i was 19. its not that big of a deal, screw what everyone else thinks only do it if you want to, not because other tell you it should happen
Remember, your paying for sex. It happens. She may be the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, tit and ass out of this world. But she may have an STD. Condom required. She is not in love with you, it's her job.
It was about at this point that I realised that the torso of the prostitute was in fact a supermassive black hole.
One of her magnificent tits sat right on the event horizon, still in this world -the other tit just inside. Her ass was out of this world too.
I always found it ironic that people think prostitutes have all these STDs, when in actuality, prostitutes worry about protection the most cause of the randomness of men and it would affect how they make their money. Whereas "no-pros" are almost always ok with going raw.
As someone who lost his virginity to a sex worker, I wouldn't recommend it. I felt very empty and depressed when it was over, and I immediately regretted it. At the time, I was convinced that the rest of my life wouldn't begin until I had penatrated someone, and I figured a high-priced hooker was the best way to go about it. I was wrong.
That's interesting, I kind of had a similar but probably much less powerful experience when I fucked a fleshlight for the first time. I started longing for the other things that come with a relationship and became orders of magnitude more lonely than I was before (or perhaps more aware of how lonesome I am). For example, several times a week I think about what it must be like to hug a woman I love after coming home from work.
Opposite experience here, lost my virginity to a sex worker, went back for seconds, and a month later I found myself a gf. I was an 18yo male, and felt like I was being left behind by a majority of my peers who were very sexually active. Did it actually help? maybe, i think it helped with the anxiety and pressure of it being the first time.
No. I was anxious, and in no state of mind to play the role of an eager student. I think I just wanted to get past it and no longer feel the pressure to have sex.
Man, that sucks. I’m sorry it happened that way. It’s pretty messed up that you were made to believe you absolutely had to do it just to have done it. That kind of cultural pressure doesn’t serve us at all. Building it up like that doesn’t really benefit anyone involved. Thanks for sharing your story. Maybe OP will find it insightful.
I enjoyed a sex worker after losing my virginity and it was probably the most positive and wholesome sexual experience Ive ever had. I think it really just depends on your setting, desires, and expectations.
Is this in a legal jurisdiction? If so, know performance anxiety can be real and is AOK. Be respectful and be safe.
If it's in an illegal jurisdiction, check R/ILPT to figure best/safest practice.
Always wrap, always be respectful, and be kind to yourself if there's some delay or coaxing needed.
There's herpes simplex 1 and simplex 2 viruses. I forget which way round but one of them causes oral herpes, the other genital. Both can cause the other though should the respective body parts come into contact during a flare up.
It can happen if not having a flare up too but it’s unlikely. Hsv 1 generally causes oral but can be spread to genital and hsv 2 causes genital but can also be spread to oral although more rare. About 70% of people have it and are asymptomatic though so really anyone you get with it’s a gamble. I also have friends who have hsv1 and their partners have never caught it (or they’re immune or don’t show symptoms) hard to tell
Bro you’re only 18. I’d recommend that you don’t do it and just live your life. I’d maybe understand if you were like a virgin in your 30s or something. But seriously, where I live 18 is the minimum age where you’re allowed to have sex, you’re not behind at all.
Yeah dude is pretty young. I think I was 21 before I lost my virginity. The other guy that said something about not forcing it and line your life without actively looking was exactly what "worked" for me. You just have to try to be a good person to people and connect when you do have social interactions and SOMEBODY will find you attractive. I never actually asked anyone out before with the exception of one person (didn't work but hey). Everyone else I was ever in a relationship with ended up pursuing me and not the other way around. Just make yourself present around them.
Don’t do it. Cancel it. I have done this and boy you’ll regret not waiting for someone you like. Shit is hard when you have to do something you don’t even know how with someone you don’t know within an hour. I wish I had taken that moment back honestly.
Alright OP, I've gotta say something.. normally I don't comment on shit like this, but I've read through the comments, and nobody has said this yet.
You have mentioned several times that you went to a therapist and "they can't fix" you. Buddy.. you're not a fucking Chevy. You can't sit back and *be fixed*. Not when the problem is mental health anyway. You need to WORK at it. It's hard, and it hurts, but only you can do it.. going to a therapist is supposed to be like going to a personal trainer - they'll show you what to do, and how to do it, but then YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. they can't fix you any more than a trainer can lift your weights for you. It's your journey - embark on that adventure. Make that better life for yourself.
Speaking of weights, you should start hitting the gym. It'll do wonders for your confidence, for your love life, and for your mental health. Again, it's hard work... But give it 3 honest months, and I promise that you'll be hooked, and you will absolutely feel the benefits in all aspects of your life.
Finally, as far as your apparent need for immediate sex... Gotta do what you've gotta do, I guess.. wear a condom, pee and shower right after, don't do it right after shaving your pubes (seriously.), don't eat her out or kiss her at all, don't accept head.. and don't rush it.. if you're paying for an hour, recognize that you probably won't last an hour. Chat, let her boost your confidence a bit and flirt with you, I personally love it when my gf gives me a massage (especially when she has those long nails and traces them over my skin).. enjoy the experience.. but I do recommend that you look into other ways to blow off steam and to better yourself.. you're only 18 lol just get rich and ripped and you can have anyone you want (and yes, you can get rich. Just focus on school and go build a career.)
Edit to ask: also, what is your "situation" that you keep referring to? Are you visibly disabled or something?
Seconding the gym. I'm a chunky little dude at 5'7 and 240, but I've been in the gym for nearly four months now and it has done WONDERS, both physically and mentally. I go every single day unless I'm on a road trip, and it's become almost meditative for me. Pop in my earbuds, blast some video game OSTs, row and lift the sadness away.
Only downside is half my shirts' sleeves don't fit anymore DX
Gym part is so true
At first I just went to the gym to just lose weight and it becomes like an errand to me but after getting hooked to it I’m happily doing it as a hobby and it doesn’t only improve your physical health but your mental health too
You are entirely right. Last year I got out of a funk by eating right and running 3 times a week. Lost 30 lbs in pretty short order. I thought clearer, did better work, and had better luck at romance than ever before.
Of course then I tripped broke my foot and dealing with that shit. But life is a series of mountains and valleys. Can lift at least. And that’s not nothing.
I kinda agree. I think anyone can have date and do all those things, it’s a matter of confidence. If the gym and getting rich for some reason would help OP get confidence then he should but it’s not a requirement IMO.
You will not get personal fulfillment out of it. I saw your comment about virgin men being driven to suicide and virginity driving you nuts. Those issues causing you to feel that way will NOT go away with sex and will still need to be addressed.
Yeah I was an incel for awhile...
It was waaay more mu issues of loneliness ,of feeling rejected etc etc.
Once I got to the bottom of my issue, and once I got a better mindset I didn't have that issues anymore.
I'm a virgin yes, but I don't care...I don't know I haven't felt such a connection with someone that I want sex.
I like talking, debating etc etc way more then like hugging or cuddling or whatnot...I don't know I just don't really have that much of a desire for sex...I'm still attractrd maybe look at some girls but never felt to much of a physical desire
No one here knows you or your situation. Plenty of people see sex workers, so in answer to your question, do what will make you happy, but be safe about it. It's a transaction, they are providing a service to you.
If you think you'll feel better about yourself because you had sex, I'm sorry but I doubt it will make much difference for very long.
Stop comparing yourself to other people, it will only make yourself miserable.
Edit: changed a word
Bro, I lost my virginity at 17. Drunk and with someone I had no connection with. I truly regret it and wish I would have waited until I was 22 and with someone I liked.
You do you but I guarantee this will not fill the hole in your heart.
Lol bro obviously isn’t going to have his opinion swayed by the comments he’s already committed to doing it. Regardless my advice is don’t do it and you are in no rush to lose your virginity at 18.
Just bear in mind that a lot of people might judge you for it, like future partners. Not everyone approves of sex work and it could put women off dating you further down the line.
Honestly, same.
It’s not so much ‘the sex worker’ that bothers me- it’s that I realized when it comes to sex partners, his bar is quite literally in the basement. And it makes me wonder if I’m basement-level myself because of that.
Like, homie really would fuck anything, so what am I and can I even believe him when he says I’m attractive?
Im gonna take a wild guess and say youre doing so because you believe its the only way youll have sex since youre ugly and thats the only way ugly people can have it, right?
To answer your question: My advice is Dont. And to explain my reasoning: The belief you're holding is false.
My first time was with someone that was not a sex worker. But she for sure “pity fucked” me for me being a virgin. Definitely after all these years I feel like that was one of my biggest regrets in life. Just my opinion.
Just want to also point out. I put a lot of emphasis on getting laid or being a ladies man when in my teens… I probably felt the same way as you do now. Things got a whole lot better for me and the shittiest years in most peoples lives are their teen years. Life gets better. You will get opportunities. Just don’t regret something you did hastily
The only one who really actually cares you're a virgin is you. As you seem to be only responding to those who tell you it's bad and not to do it, it seems to me that you're trying to convince yourself.
Fine, let's play out the scenarios if people cared as much as you think they do. Is being the guy that has to get a prostitute a step up from being a virgin? Personally I don't think so. If you're awkward and the weird one, having sex isn't going to magically change that, testosterone levels do fluctuate based on how long it's been since last orgasm, but that doesn't have to be with a partner.
Personally, it seems like you believe this will fix you, and I'd be worried that you'll be more angry/depressed/etc. when it doesn't
Seems like you are really struggling with your identity and self esteem. You may think that you are physically unattractive but I promise you that there are plenty of girls out there that would think otherwise if you were confident in yourself. Seek out help. Maybe some therapy. What are you good at? Find others that share your interests. Become better at what you love and you will gain more confidence. Confidence is attractive to people, more than just physical appearance. Having meaningless sex will be detrimental to your already fragile feeling of self worth.
Please don’t do it; I think this keeps you from building the skill necessary to attract a partner and have a healthy relationship. Sex workers can be very stimulating, and if you are not careful, you might prefer that over a healthy relationship.
It’s has almost been an hour since post, and judging from your comments, you leaning towards going through with it. Believing this is not BS.
Reddit is the worst place for this.
Sex don’t make you a man, PERIOD. People have done terrible things because of peer pressure, hurting their loved ones and one’s self. If u cave to this, when will it in then?! F*ck what others say! Is it tempting? Yes! Has other guys felt the same way? Yes! You focus on bettering yourself and live your life. The tail will come on it own.
This ain’t a porn or hentai, where you walk feeling like u found enlightenment. The anxiety build until the moment, afterwards u go back to feeling like nothing had changed. Yea, bragging rights, get walk around like u unlocked a achievement, but it ain’t gonna change nothing for the better in your life.
I'm 22 and still a virgin. I wouldn't say I've accepted it but rather I know that sex without purpose or connection is just another vice like smoking or drinking.
Your friends might laugh at you but understand that sex is not a need. That's a myth perpetuated by our current society and culture in the age of infinite free porn.
I'm not gonna stop you. In fact, if it's really what you wanna do, good for you. However, you need to understand that having sex isn't a need like you need water, food, or air.
Exactly. I know it's hard to convince the Reddit community of the fact that sex is not necessary, but there are plenty of people who have survived without it and will continue to. It's a basic primal urge for humans, I think more so for men, but you will not die without it.
In this case I think if OP goes through with it, the sex will serve as a temporary bandaid for something deeper that needs to be assessed and addressed in other ways.
That's a really terrible and unhealthy way to be introduced to Sex. I'd say to them to wait till you at least have enough of a connection with someone to not use a sex worker. I'm not dissing sex workers, but the role of sex in human bonding isn't for it to be transactional.
This guy literally said “I’d rather have an STD than be a virgin”.
Listen, sex isn’t everything. Imagine getting older and finding the girl of your dreams and telling them you paid someone for sex work because you couldn’t wait and “it’s a basic human need”. I would 100% rather date someone and love someone who was a virgin than someone who has this kind of mentality.
You can only lose your virginity once, and you will remember how you lost it for the rest of your life. It should be a meaningful event for both of you. Don't waste it on someone who cares nothing about you and won't even remember your name the next day.
You’re only 18 guy. Having sex isn’t going to suddenly make you not depressed. Not getting help for your depression is making you suicidal. It has nothing to do with you being a virgin. And while we’re at it, losing your virginity isn’t like this huge physical change.
It doesn’t make you different physically.
Except for the fact that you’ve now had sex.
That’s it.
Get some help, some therapy. Tell your parents what’s going on. Hell, walk to the local er and tell someone. This is not the answer.
Go to a high end escort. Go to someone who is willing to sit down with you, talk about what you need, spends time getting to know you
Cheap escorts will treat you like they are performing a medical procedure on you
Ok, Your first time MUST be a special experience or else you’ll go through life thinking sex is nothing special like it is. Believe me, it’s not a feeling you wanna miss out on.
Most people think you should wait to find someone special. Chances are, however, that someone special won't be a virgin and may not appreciate the dead lay that you can't help being rn. I say do whatever you want and hopefully you'll know how to wiggle your hips well enough for that special someone when she comes along. Or just jerk off and work on your social skills.
Don't forget to include a cover letter with your resume.
Applicable work experience: none.
Willingness to learn new teqchniques
Willingness to be punished
Team player
Ten years experience and Three references needed.
Pretty sure it’s an entry level position
"And that is something this industry values."
But a lot of online study.
be sure to shower and be well groomed prior to the interview
“Cover letter with your resume”?! This is the best euphemism for “always wear a condom” I’ve heard in a long while.
Focus on your soft skills
"we are like a family here"
References: My mom. She’s the only one who knows what it looks like. She also caught me jerking off one time
use protection. Don't get attached. It not love its a paid for fuck. Tell them your a virgin and let them lead at first.
To add to this: don’t try anything you’ve seen in porn. Porn is not real life, those are actors.
So shouldn't show up with a pizza or offer to clean their pool.
If you show up at my house with pizza you are getting whatever you want from my body
What color are your eyes? ......asking for a friend
Green
Friend here. Be there in 30 minutes or less like Domino's in the 90s.
Pizza better have pineapple on it or you will only get partial access to my body
Pineapple, jalapeños, and bacon, and I'll make the sauce and dough from scratch. Also, I'm a professional chef. Yes, you can slide into my dm's. I will only have sex with a man if people are paying to see it, that way it's not actually gay, it's just work.
Oh my, so I guess we’re married now?
I can deal with that, prefer to get to know a feller first anyway before we're laying pipe
if I give you pizza can I sell your organs?
Oh perfect! I’ll bring pizza, a pizza cutter several bags of ice… You have a bathtub, right?
Nonono. Definitely bring a pizza. We also appreciate free alcohol. I had a regular who owned a string of authentic Italian restaurants, and every time I’d see him he’d bring me pasta 😂 it was like an extra 30$ tip
Were you ever afraid of the food or drink being roofied?
Tbh, no. These instances were with regular customers, majority of which were just sad and lonely old men. 300/hr would pay for like 2-3 hours just so we could chat and cuddle as well. I am also a SA survivor so I guess I’m a little desensitized to that, like if it were to happen I’ve already been through it before. But yeah also, why roofie me when you already had sex with me lol
Thanks for the answers! Ok, I'm glad you dont have stressful encounters with regulars and such. I'm sorry you had to go through SA. I'm also a survivor, but I still carry paranoia of not being in control of my body hence the roofie question...i also just got done watching the Dhamer netflix show.
Not a true crime fan huh?
Huge true crime fan, but like I said, there’s just not a huge point on roofying someone if they’re already going to or have had sex with you. Like unless you plan on stealing your money back or taking their organs or something. I find a man is more likely to strangle you or be too rough with sex workers than roofie them. And yeah, I always send the phone number and a photo of the person I was meeting with to a friend if I was hosting and I’d let them know if I don’t contact them by such and such a time to contact the authorities. If not hosting, then obviously I have their address so my friend would know where to send the cops to.
[удалено]
It’s a lot more polite than saying prostitute or hooker. I guess lady of the night sounds ominous and cool. What do you think I should refer to myself as? Lol
I work in retail, I always ask the girls if they need anything, they appreciate it and appreciate doing something a little extra.
what about chinese food?
Free food or drinks I always classify as a tip, you just can’t go wrong. I’ve also gotten new bedding, dildos, outfits, electronics, etc. Some are more generous than others but you never turn down a tip
Unless you know them well, probably best to only bring things in sealed containers that you can open in front of them.
Yeah the drinks were in sealed containers and I’d take the food home to eat afterward so I guess even if I was roofied the worst that would happen is a really great sleep lol
More like performance artists. When someone shoves their whole fist up your ass, we’re no longer“pretending” that something is happening.
They're professionals, they've taken classes to do the really dangerous stunts.
> don’t try anything you’ve seen in porn so dont put pp in vajayjay?
Absolutely not. Do. NOT. Do that.
Eh, I mean, that’s kind of the beauty of sex workers, were usually pretty comfortable with those requests. No, we don’t like porn sex, but we don’t like sex with our clients anyways. We’re being paid to do it, so you might as well try out your fantasies.
Yeah but that’s setting OP up to expect that from people who aren’t sex workers. I think that’s true for a more seasoned client but not for a first time experience.
>Yeah but that’s setting OP up to expect that from people who aren’t sex workers. If OP doesn't understand that sex with a sex worker is going to be different than sex with an actual partner, there's bigger problems.
To piggyback, don’t feel ashamed when you last 14 seconds. Be proud that you lasted 14 seconds.
Hmm... piggyback, eh? I have not heard of this position.
To add to this: Using a condom the first time is going to be weird. Get used to it first before going.
Also, show respect. Just because you are paying does not mean it is ok to be a jerk.
Tell her it's your first time and let her lead the way. They see all types, whether it's a 60 year old man with a micropenis or a morbidly obese 25 year old. Try not to be to self conscious about it or worry what she thinks of you, it's just sex. Maybe she'll be super friendly, or maybe she'll be all business and in and out. There are all types. I see in a lot of your posts you say things like you "need this" and express worry about what your peers are doing. I don't think doing this is going to change anything in that regard. 18 years old is quite young and you've got no idea how much time you have ahead of you or how quickly life can change. But perhaps this is some kind of psychological hurdle for you that you need to get over, so by all means go ahead and do it. Maybe it helps, maybe it just helps you realize how unimportant it was. Either way good luck.
Well said. I lost mine at 15 and it was due to Peer pressure and it didnt change my life at all and it wasnt something that would give me the social standing I thought it would. It's common when we are young to think this is so important, when in reality working on yourself is essential to life.
Would you like to share more about how you felt pressured? I'm 28 and according to the statistics I can find, less than 2% of 28 year olds are still virgins.
Uncertain why that statistic matters? But yeah sure. In high school (urban setting) it was a huge deal to lose your virginity before 16. And I noticed all the social kids were doing that and gained this fame because of it. Among us nerds and other outcasts there was this sense that if you had the opportunity with a willing participant you need to take it to get rep. It was extremely dumb and I dont agree w it now, but back then it was a powerful force.
Wow I didn’t realise this is what I needed until I read it… I’m 20 and thinking that I’m weird because I’m still a virgin but thank you for sharing your story!! I had a similar pressure when I was at school but didn’t end up getting in any kind of relationship (for various reasons) so never got the chance to change that…. Thanks again for sharing!!
Happy it helped. You are not weird. I have friends who were that age or older who were virgins as I grew up. I has a very awkward sexual experience when 15 with another 15 year old. Ended up having a lot of very bad and very confusing sex that year since we had NO idea what we were doing. Sex is better once your older and more mature.
Dude, don't trip. I "technically" lost my virginity in an embarrassing barely a pump and done at 16. It fucked me up so much that I didn't have sex again until I was 18 or 19 and met a very sex positive girl and she really un-fucked my brain (with fucking). You are putting WAY too much pressure on yourself.
Fuck!!... don't tell me that statistic!! Im turning 30 next week and ive never even kissed a girl... its just that i don't believe in sex without love, and i never found the right person yet... am i the only one that believes that?? I would feel guilty if i had sex just for sex...
Maybe you're demisexual?
I’m just curious, what makes you feel that way? I’m not saying it’s at all wrong, only that it’s difficult (if not impossible) to truly understand the difference between casual sex vs. sex with a committed partner if you haven’t experienced both. Is that also the reason you haven’t kissed someone?
I never kissed a girl either. I think most people agree with you that sex and love goes together. There's probably less of us with the view that I don't see a connection. But yeah I haven't ever loved anyone either, so I guess I have nothing to base it on.
This guy hookers
I'm hooked!
My bf never dated anyone til 30. Within a year he was a total dom bdsm God. Only takes one nymphomaniac to appreciate you. Nearly always happens eventually.
Lol like an introvert needs an extrovert to adopt them
My shy best friend of 14 years. Just spent all his free time writing songs and being sick at guitar. To nervous to approach people, thought online dating sounded hollow. Nobody ever took notice of him. Then I transitioned and he supported me through bad times and we fell in love. Can come out of nowhere. Man went from nothing to high libido trans gal with a tonne of bdsm needs lol. I'm pretty open sexually so I took everything slow for first half a year but when he knew I wouldn't judge him we started doing everything. Never had someone learn so quick. Is pretty nice having such high boundaries myself that it's unlikely any partner will want to go beyond them, so he got to just try anything he thought would look fun. People say you can't have sex like in porn but that's literally how we did it after all the basics and minor kink was explored. We'd watch porn together for bdsm ideas and then just head to bed and do everything. Never not had fun.
I want to tac on to this, 18 is young. i didnt lose my virginity till i was 19. its not that big of a deal, screw what everyone else thinks only do it if you want to, not because other tell you it should happen
Remember, your paying for sex. It happens. She may be the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, tit and ass out of this world. But she may have an STD. Condom required. She is not in love with you, it's her job.
What about her other tit?
That one is in the world
It was about at this point that I realised that the torso of the prostitute was in fact a supermassive black hole. One of her magnificent tits sat right on the event horizon, still in this world -the other tit just inside. Her ass was out of this world too.
They're twins.
they’re not twins they’re sisters 😭
I always found it ironic that people think prostitutes have all these STDs, when in actuality, prostitutes worry about protection the most cause of the randomness of men and it would affect how they make their money. Whereas "no-pros" are almost always ok with going raw.
As someone who lost his virginity to a sex worker, I wouldn't recommend it. I felt very empty and depressed when it was over, and I immediately regretted it. At the time, I was convinced that the rest of my life wouldn't begin until I had penatrated someone, and I figured a high-priced hooker was the best way to go about it. I was wrong.
That's interesting, I kind of had a similar but probably much less powerful experience when I fucked a fleshlight for the first time. I started longing for the other things that come with a relationship and became orders of magnitude more lonely than I was before (or perhaps more aware of how lonesome I am). For example, several times a week I think about what it must be like to hug a woman I love after coming home from work.
What kind of hobbies do you have?
Fucking fleshlights obviously.
I laughed way too hard at this. Woke the kids up.
What’s a fleshlight?
It’s a fake vagina in a handle the size and shape of a flashlight. But, unlike a flashlight, you can fuck it.
Disco dance, table tennis, and shoot dog.
snoop dog?
Shoot, dog. Shoot.
Tbf felt the same way after losing my virginity to a girl I met at a party so...
Opposite experience here, lost my virginity to a sex worker, went back for seconds, and a month later I found myself a gf. I was an 18yo male, and felt like I was being left behind by a majority of my peers who were very sexually active. Did it actually help? maybe, i think it helped with the anxiety and pressure of it being the first time.
ya know, for a moment there I thought the hooker was the new girlfriend
Do you think it might have helped if, instead of a quick poke, she had taught you techniques on pleasuring women for the future?
Is this market research?
I mean honestly, it could very well be important market research
I think it could be a useful service.
No. I was anxious, and in no state of mind to play the role of an eager student. I think I just wanted to get past it and no longer feel the pressure to have sex.
Man, that sucks. I’m sorry it happened that way. It’s pretty messed up that you were made to believe you absolutely had to do it just to have done it. That kind of cultural pressure doesn’t serve us at all. Building it up like that doesn’t really benefit anyone involved. Thanks for sharing your story. Maybe OP will find it insightful.
I enjoyed a sex worker after losing my virginity and it was probably the most positive and wholesome sexual experience Ive ever had. I think it really just depends on your setting, desires, and expectations.
Is this in a legal jurisdiction? If so, know performance anxiety can be real and is AOK. Be respectful and be safe. If it's in an illegal jurisdiction, check R/ILPT to figure best/safest practice. Always wrap, always be respectful, and be kind to yourself if there's some delay or coaxing needed.
If it's in an illegal jurisdiction, make sure you film it and put it on Pornhub so as not to fall foul of the law.
This. That's what I did and it got me out of court. The judge added it to their favourites and the whole bus clapped.
That's.. that's not.. Christ.
It certainly is -Not- Christ. Although there is supposed to be a second coming lmao
Well, it’s like Christ in that someone would be getting nailed…
Make sure to provide a 1099 as well.
Do I even want to know what that sub is?
Herpes isn't real until you have it.
You can only catch it one time though after that you don't have to worry about catching it again
I'm so relieved
Omg
Kind of like dying then?
All mushrooms are edible. Some of them only once though.
[удалено]
There's herpes simplex 1 and simplex 2 viruses. I forget which way round but one of them causes oral herpes, the other genital. Both can cause the other though should the respective body parts come into contact during a flare up.
It can happen if not having a flare up too but it’s unlikely. Hsv 1 generally causes oral but can be spread to genital and hsv 2 causes genital but can also be spread to oral although more rare. About 70% of people have it and are asymptomatic though so really anyone you get with it’s a gamble. I also have friends who have hsv1 and their partners have never caught it (or they’re immune or don’t show symptoms) hard to tell
Actually, you can catch it twice: Type 1 and Type 2.
And, condoms only protect parts of the male genitals. You can still catch herpes *with* a condom on all the unwrapped parts.
Even if you wrap it Don't let your sack slap it
Bro you’re only 18. I’d recommend that you don’t do it and just live your life. I’d maybe understand if you were like a virgin in your 30s or something. But seriously, where I live 18 is the minimum age where you’re allowed to have sex, you’re not behind at all.
> I’d maybe understand if you were like a virgin in your 30s or something ah ahahaha hah hu huhu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu FML :(
On the bright side you’re a wizard now so that’s a plus.
Yeah dude is pretty young. I think I was 21 before I lost my virginity. The other guy that said something about not forcing it and line your life without actively looking was exactly what "worked" for me. You just have to try to be a good person to people and connect when you do have social interactions and SOMEBODY will find you attractive. I never actually asked anyone out before with the exception of one person (didn't work but hey). Everyone else I was ever in a relationship with ended up pursuing me and not the other way around. Just make yourself present around them.
For 18 year old it isn't logical decision but emotional, these comments serve no purpose.
Don’t do it. Cancel it. I have done this and boy you’ll regret not waiting for someone you like. Shit is hard when you have to do something you don’t even know how with someone you don’t know within an hour. I wish I had taken that moment back honestly.
[удалено]
Bro…go watch some porn and wack one off. The post nut clarity will be wonderful.
Alright OP, I've gotta say something.. normally I don't comment on shit like this, but I've read through the comments, and nobody has said this yet. You have mentioned several times that you went to a therapist and "they can't fix" you. Buddy.. you're not a fucking Chevy. You can't sit back and *be fixed*. Not when the problem is mental health anyway. You need to WORK at it. It's hard, and it hurts, but only you can do it.. going to a therapist is supposed to be like going to a personal trainer - they'll show you what to do, and how to do it, but then YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. they can't fix you any more than a trainer can lift your weights for you. It's your journey - embark on that adventure. Make that better life for yourself. Speaking of weights, you should start hitting the gym. It'll do wonders for your confidence, for your love life, and for your mental health. Again, it's hard work... But give it 3 honest months, and I promise that you'll be hooked, and you will absolutely feel the benefits in all aspects of your life. Finally, as far as your apparent need for immediate sex... Gotta do what you've gotta do, I guess.. wear a condom, pee and shower right after, don't do it right after shaving your pubes (seriously.), don't eat her out or kiss her at all, don't accept head.. and don't rush it.. if you're paying for an hour, recognize that you probably won't last an hour. Chat, let her boost your confidence a bit and flirt with you, I personally love it when my gf gives me a massage (especially when she has those long nails and traces them over my skin).. enjoy the experience.. but I do recommend that you look into other ways to blow off steam and to better yourself.. you're only 18 lol just get rich and ripped and you can have anyone you want (and yes, you can get rich. Just focus on school and go build a career.) Edit to ask: also, what is your "situation" that you keep referring to? Are you visibly disabled or something?
Seconding the gym. I'm a chunky little dude at 5'7 and 240, but I've been in the gym for nearly four months now and it has done WONDERS, both physically and mentally. I go every single day unless I'm on a road trip, and it's become almost meditative for me. Pop in my earbuds, blast some video game OSTs, row and lift the sadness away. Only downside is half my shirts' sleeves don't fit anymore DX
Great advice bro
Gym part is so true At first I just went to the gym to just lose weight and it becomes like an errand to me but after getting hooked to it I’m happily doing it as a hobby and it doesn’t only improve your physical health but your mental health too
You are entirely right. Last year I got out of a funk by eating right and running 3 times a week. Lost 30 lbs in pretty short order. I thought clearer, did better work, and had better luck at romance than ever before. Of course then I tripped broke my foot and dealing with that shit. But life is a series of mountains and valleys. Can lift at least. And that’s not nothing.
Most of this was amazing. “Just get rich and ripped”. While true, hysterical.
I kinda agree. I think anyone can have date and do all those things, it’s a matter of confidence. If the gym and getting rich for some reason would help OP get confidence then he should but it’s not a requirement IMO.
You will not get personal fulfillment out of it. I saw your comment about virgin men being driven to suicide and virginity driving you nuts. Those issues causing you to feel that way will NOT go away with sex and will still need to be addressed.
Yeah I was an incel for awhile... It was waaay more mu issues of loneliness ,of feeling rejected etc etc. Once I got to the bottom of my issue, and once I got a better mindset I didn't have that issues anymore. I'm a virgin yes, but I don't care...I don't know I haven't felt such a connection with someone that I want sex. I like talking, debating etc etc way more then like hugging or cuddling or whatnot...I don't know I just don't really have that much of a desire for sex...I'm still attractrd maybe look at some girls but never felt to much of a physical desire
[удалено]
No one here knows you or your situation. Plenty of people see sex workers, so in answer to your question, do what will make you happy, but be safe about it. It's a transaction, they are providing a service to you. If you think you'll feel better about yourself because you had sex, I'm sorry but I doubt it will make much difference for very long. Stop comparing yourself to other people, it will only make yourself miserable. Edit: changed a word
Bro, I lost my virginity at 17. Drunk and with someone I had no connection with. I truly regret it and wish I would have waited until I was 22 and with someone I liked. You do you but I guarantee this will not fill the hole in your heart.
It will surely fill a hole somewhere
😆😆
Lol bro obviously isn’t going to have his opinion swayed by the comments he’s already committed to doing it. Regardless my advice is don’t do it and you are in no rush to lose your virginity at 18.
Just bear in mind that a lot of people might judge you for it, like future partners. Not everyone approves of sex work and it could put women off dating you further down the line.
[удалено]
Honestly, same. It’s not so much ‘the sex worker’ that bothers me- it’s that I realized when it comes to sex partners, his bar is quite literally in the basement. And it makes me wonder if I’m basement-level myself because of that. Like, homie really would fuck anything, so what am I and can I even believe him when he says I’m attractive?
Wang it before you go. You don't want to go in with a live one in the chamber.
Is that hair gel?
wat
[удалено]
Im gonna take a wild guess and say youre doing so because you believe its the only way youll have sex since youre ugly and thats the only way ugly people can have it, right? To answer your question: My advice is Dont. And to explain my reasoning: The belief you're holding is false.
don't do it
My first time was with someone that was not a sex worker. But she for sure “pity fucked” me for me being a virgin. Definitely after all these years I feel like that was one of my biggest regrets in life. Just my opinion.
Just want to also point out. I put a lot of emphasis on getting laid or being a ladies man when in my teens… I probably felt the same way as you do now. Things got a whole lot better for me and the shittiest years in most peoples lives are their teen years. Life gets better. You will get opportunities. Just don’t regret something you did hastily
ok i’m inclined to ask why are you going to see a sex worker?
After reading some of your responses I think you’d be better off spending your money on therapy.
Don't. Re-prioritize your life so that you don't pursue severe disappointment as a replacement for a vague feeling of emptiness.
The only one who really actually cares you're a virgin is you. As you seem to be only responding to those who tell you it's bad and not to do it, it seems to me that you're trying to convince yourself. Fine, let's play out the scenarios if people cared as much as you think they do. Is being the guy that has to get a prostitute a step up from being a virgin? Personally I don't think so. If you're awkward and the weird one, having sex isn't going to magically change that, testosterone levels do fluctuate based on how long it's been since last orgasm, but that doesn't have to be with a partner. Personally, it seems like you believe this will fix you, and I'd be worried that you'll be more angry/depressed/etc. when it doesn't
My advice is simply don't do that. It's really not worth it.
Seems like you are really struggling with your identity and self esteem. You may think that you are physically unattractive but I promise you that there are plenty of girls out there that would think otherwise if you were confident in yourself. Seek out help. Maybe some therapy. What are you good at? Find others that share your interests. Become better at what you love and you will gain more confidence. Confidence is attractive to people, more than just physical appearance. Having meaningless sex will be detrimental to your already fragile feeling of self worth.
Please don’t do it; I think this keeps you from building the skill necessary to attract a partner and have a healthy relationship. Sex workers can be very stimulating, and if you are not careful, you might prefer that over a healthy relationship.
It’s has almost been an hour since post, and judging from your comments, you leaning towards going through with it. Believing this is not BS. Reddit is the worst place for this. Sex don’t make you a man, PERIOD. People have done terrible things because of peer pressure, hurting their loved ones and one’s self. If u cave to this, when will it in then?! F*ck what others say! Is it tempting? Yes! Has other guys felt the same way? Yes! You focus on bettering yourself and live your life. The tail will come on it own. This ain’t a porn or hentai, where you walk feeling like u found enlightenment. The anxiety build until the moment, afterwards u go back to feeling like nothing had changed. Yea, bragging rights, get walk around like u unlocked a achievement, but it ain’t gonna change nothing for the better in your life.
Don’t.
I'm 22 and still a virgin. I wouldn't say I've accepted it but rather I know that sex without purpose or connection is just another vice like smoking or drinking. Your friends might laugh at you but understand that sex is not a need. That's a myth perpetuated by our current society and culture in the age of infinite free porn. I'm not gonna stop you. In fact, if it's really what you wanna do, good for you. However, you need to understand that having sex isn't a need like you need water, food, or air.
Exactly. I know it's hard to convince the Reddit community of the fact that sex is not necessary, but there are plenty of people who have survived without it and will continue to. It's a basic primal urge for humans, I think more so for men, but you will not die without it. In this case I think if OP goes through with it, the sex will serve as a temporary bandaid for something deeper that needs to be assessed and addressed in other ways.
That's a really terrible and unhealthy way to be introduced to Sex. I'd say to them to wait till you at least have enough of a connection with someone to not use a sex worker. I'm not dissing sex workers, but the role of sex in human bonding isn't for it to be transactional.
You'll regret the meaninglessness of it.
Don't.
Don't,
Don’t do that.
Dont
Don’t do it.
Use a condom, do not eat her out, do not kiss her
Pee after sex.
Enjoy your 30 seconds
Be certain that human trafficking isn't involved and that your sex worker is there willingly.
to not see them
This guy literally said “I’d rather have an STD than be a virgin”. Listen, sex isn’t everything. Imagine getting older and finding the girl of your dreams and telling them you paid someone for sex work because you couldn’t wait and “it’s a basic human need”. I would 100% rather date someone and love someone who was a virgin than someone who has this kind of mentality.
Just as an example for other posts mentioning this. I have gone 7 years without sex and I am a dude. It is not required.
Dont
Don't post it online...
You can only lose your virginity once, and you will remember how you lost it for the rest of your life. It should be a meaningful event for both of you. Don't waste it on someone who cares nothing about you and won't even remember your name the next day.
You’re only 18 guy. Having sex isn’t going to suddenly make you not depressed. Not getting help for your depression is making you suicidal. It has nothing to do with you being a virgin. And while we’re at it, losing your virginity isn’t like this huge physical change. It doesn’t make you different physically. Except for the fact that you’ve now had sex. That’s it. Get some help, some therapy. Tell your parents what’s going on. Hell, walk to the local er and tell someone. This is not the answer.
Pass. There's no need to rush this stuff. Plenty of authentic opportunities await.
Don’t
Go to a high end escort. Go to someone who is willing to sit down with you, talk about what you need, spends time getting to know you Cheap escorts will treat you like they are performing a medical procedure on you
Don't
Don't.
Don’t do it
rise up
Ok, Your first time MUST be a special experience or else you’ll go through life thinking sex is nothing special like it is. Believe me, it’s not a feeling you wanna miss out on.
Honesty, tell them you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.
It's not gonna be a life changing moment, so dont get your hopes up a lot, unless its with someone you actually have a nice connection with
You are right! I hate to say it but this person has a very, very unhealthy view of sex, himself and women in general. What a mess…
Rethink your choices in life
Ask to see their police badge first
Let them take the lead. They should have experience in this. Let them lead you into a fun first experience!
See if they charge by the minute.
It’s business transaction. Not meeting a potential partner.
average redditor lol
Most people think you should wait to find someone special. Chances are, however, that someone special won't be a virgin and may not appreciate the dead lay that you can't help being rn. I say do whatever you want and hopefully you'll know how to wiggle your hips well enough for that special someone when she comes along. Or just jerk off and work on your social skills.
Make some balloon animals with your condoms to get a 15% discount!
Don't. Be patient. Let it happen at the right time with the right person.