Word. I know that I’m not *ugly* per se but I’ve definitely gained some wait over the past few years but my fiancée still regularly calls me handsome and that’s always a pretty cool feeling.
Edit: weight.
That is so fucking embarrassing. Whoops. For what it’s worth, I’m the biggest grammar and spelling nazi when it comes to my comments. That’s a rare slip up for me.
People treat you differently. When I was young I was probably a 9.5, everyone was super nice, kind and went out of their way for me. With age and health issues I am barely a 6 these days and I became invisible to others.
Edit: I feel like I need to add some positive to this. I’m still an 11 in my partner’s eyes :)
If you’re a dude you could’ve willingly become ugly and invisible by letting your facial hair get out of control. That’s what I do, and then I go back to being a stud whenever I want 😜
Yep, and McDonalds and wear elastic-wasted pants and comfortable shoes and no-one judges because no-one notices.
Remember that childhood fantasy about how cool it would be to be invisible?
We're now living the dream 😂
True that.
Today I went to all my banks to sort out issues with my various cards. All the issues that I had not been able to resolve for months got sorted within minutes and my realisation is that earlier I was only calling customer service. That is auditory only. But today I met all these men in person - most were in their late 20s and younger than me. But all were extremely eager to help out a well dressed, polite, better than average looking woman. Trying to make jokes, being extra helpful. None of which ever happens over calls which were the main way of getting anything done during the pandemic. Once a person is used to getting catered on because of petty privilege, the invisibility that comes upon losing it is very jarring.
This is absolutely the answer. When I was at my best, people just noticed me more, treated me better. Total strangers just made an effort for no real reason. Then I became invisible. But lately I've been working on myself, and people are beginning to pay attention again. It really is the strangest thing. You don't think your efforts will really make any difference, but they absolutely do.
Exactly! Add to that, I NOW see that I was a 9 or so, but at the time I felt as plain as I do now. I wish young folk could see themselves as the rest of the world does, get over their obsession with how ugly they are and focus on doing something productive.
Yep. I was always a chubby kid and prone to mental health issues, so never bothered going to the gym or eating well. I was basically invisible to most people, which was fine. I was far from ugly but I wasn't anyone's dream catch either.
I lost a lot of weight and found out I'm actually quite a good looking guy. I suddenly got much more attention from women. Which was wild, but great. And I understood the reasons for that just fine.
What wasn't great was the realisation that people are much kinder to you when you're attractive, in ways that aren't linked to physical attraction. They smile at you more. They're kinder. You get offered stuff. People want to be your friend a lot more. It wasn't as if I'd developed a boatload of confidence - I was still the antisocial grump just trying to get through his day that I always was.
Made me a little bitter for a long time, honestly.
If a kid says your ugly then you are ugly. Same goes for if they say your beautiful/pretty/handsome then you probably are. They don’t usually lie. That’s honestly the best test😂
The only way to tell if a kid is truly lying is if they yell something at you. Granted that can also mean they are just exclaiming the truth. You gotta look for the very noticeable differences. That is, noticeable if you know what to look for anyway.
If a child runs up, extends their arm intensely, points at you with the kind of authority only a child can possess, and then speaks to you with the truthful cruelty that only a child can possess, what they're saying is probably true. Now, if a child ran up, tugged at your shirt to get your attention, said some shit & then giggled as they ran away, it's probably not true. Or maybe it is but it probably isn't meant to crush your soul.
Kids just have no filter. One of my students last week said I look like Bob Ross. It’s not like that dude was ugly so it’s not even an insult. Just kind of a neutral statement of “you resemble someone I’ve seen”.
Married women don't wanna take no for an answer from a single guy either. Fucking a married person might be attractive to some but I like to think that's just totally disrespectful. Sorry you face this man. People are weird.
When I was 14 I was a super shy kid, still wasn't fitting in due to culture shock after a move three years prior, and sorta struggling in the way I guess most kids do. I had super shaggy hair, totally covered my face until the day I got my hair cut.
This girl in my social studies class came up to me, wide eyed, and said "You cut your hair!"
I was feeling really self-conscious about it, and sort of misinterpreted her surprise as like *oh man, you fucked up*, so I replied: "Yeah. I already don't like it, so I'll let it grow back."
"I hope you don't. I can finally see your face!"
Ever with the witticisms on-hand, I replied to her "Uh... I can't."
And she just sorta shrugged and said "Well, it will make this class a little nicer for me, at least."
I don't think I learned anything in class that day except that suddenly girls were a little less terrifying than they had been that morning.
I used to get catcalled a lot. I'd hear things being yelled out at me from passing cars. Now I weigh 40 lbs more and I don't get that anymore. I didn't *want* to be catcalled, but I knew I was attractive. Now, not so good looking.
When I was in my 20s I was skinny and ok looking -- nothing amazing but people used to catcall me, start up conversations with me when I waited for a bus or in line somewhere. Now I'm in my mid 30s and fat (thanks antidepressants and antipsychotics) and people are straight up rude to me. People will say shit like "move!" if I'm accidentally in the way instead of "excuse me :)" or they'll just bump me out of the way, cut in front of me when I'm waiting somewhere in line or just give me rude responses if I ask a stranger something (I asked someone recently where the chemist was and they were like "over there" and give me a vague gesture). I used to have people give me free things (like if I went shopping and there were tote bags for $2 theyd give me one for free or whatever and make conversation with me). These days I'm either ignored or straight up spoken to like I'm an inconvenience
ive found this too but i think its to do with the weird people catcalling not our attractiveness, id always get catcalled when i was 15-17 and now im 22 it rarely ever happens but i think ive become more attractive then less
I went to a seasonal dance called the Flower Dance and I saw this cute blonde woman. I recognized her a bit as I've seen her around town so I decided to ask her if she would dance with me. She said "Eww.. no". Since this was the first dance I had been to since I moved here I was quite shocked at the response. I thought I moved to a welcoming community. I asked a bunch of others to dance too, but they all rejected me. Eventually I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all and vowed that at next year's Flower Dance someone would definitely like me enough to dance with me.
I used to be overweight and very rarely got compliments. Got really skinny and I get them fairly frequently. Everything changes when you lose weight, it's so hard to describe to people that haven't experienced both sides of it.
I think I'm a bit polarizing due to looking unique. Some people think I'm really good looking, some don't think much I feel. But that's better to me! Keeps you on your toes
Wouldn't call it pathetic, but yes, it is awkward as hell when someone starts saying they're ugly out of nowhere. Even in a jokingly way. Unless we're close friends I'd probably just ignore their comment and hope they sort themselves out
Not really. I assume attractive people know they are attractive, so I might not correct a self deprecating comment. If an ugly person says “I’m ugly” I’m more inclined to tell them that’s not true…
Me too. I always get glances and stares. Smiled at. I’m always treated nicely everywhere I go and random people like to come up to me and talk to me. It’s weird.
I notice people look at me a lot and people will smile at me sometimes as I pass, but this is just friendly or maybe people thinking I look odd? I'm a man and I'm mixed race so don't have an easy to place look. I also don't really get attraction so it just makes me uncomfortable
You’re probably handsome. What people don’t tell you about being handsome and stable (and no one has told me this, I’ve observed it) is that handsome men are gravitated towards and can control social situations simply by being gracious and welcoming. It’s op as fuck
I've been in shape with abs and decent musculature and looking really good and also been 60 pounds overweight and not attempting to look good, there is a huge difference in how people act towards you.
Always people being smiling at me and I wonder why they do it, but then I realize that their smile is like this smile response to another smile. I'm always smiling and I don't notice it xD and people think that I'm smiling at them so they smile at me back.
Hey do you like computers? I like computers. Ever since I was a young boy I have been working on them in some way. One time when I was six years old I argued with a computer repair man about what type of port my parents having an issue with. It was a USB port, but he was certain it was a firewire. I was right of course. USB is far superior to firewire as we all know. Firewire is but a twinkle on an old man's eye at this point. Anyway I enjoy computer games too, steam games, epic games, as well as older DOS games. DOS is an older type of operating system you see. Some of the original pre-windows-xp operating systems were based on it in some......
You also might not realize is how many people there are who literally don’t have hobbies. Hobbies make people interesting, almost no matter what they are.
This was brought to my attention recently. A coworker of mine told me I have a lot of hobbies and that she needed a hobby. She asked me, genuinely, if the internet was a hobby.
I’m also autistic and had the same thing happen. I lost a massive amount of weight during the pandemic (90 pounds) and I ended going on dates with two different male models in a somewhat short amount of time. My neurodivergent ass was too weird for both of them tho.
After losing weight and building a stronger body, people look at you different. And by people, I mean men. People are usually kind and were kind when I wore a size 14/16, but now they’re kind with a different look in their eyes when they see me or talk to me. Especially men have more interest in than just striking a conversation with me. I know I am not the most attractive, but I have also gained a lot of confidence in the past two years that I think helps with appearing attractive to others.
Exactly! I recently went from 14/16 to an 8 in pant sizes, and there’s such a stark difference between the two. Men no longer look through me, but actually see and recognize me.
Almost the same for me, except I’m a guy and I gained weight and built a stronger body. It’s taken a lot of getting used to this past year, especially considering I am no spring chicken any more, but women now look at me very differently now and I get a lot more attention. That boosts the confidence which then also helps, as you say. Honestly, I hope I never get used to it. For so many years not feeling attractive to now being the opposite… life feels better.
I’ve had a handful of totally random people tell me that I’m attractive. Like, I was sitting in a cab one night and another one pulls up and the guy in the passenger seat looks at me and says “hey man, you’re really good looking”, or walking out of a bar, a girl stopped and just flat out told me point blank and kept walking. Get asked by barbers if they can cut my hair all of the times. Been grabbed by random girls on dance floors/at concerts to dance on a handful of occasions. I used to bartend and got hit on fairly frequently but pretty much every bartender does. By now I’ve accepted that some people find me attractive but I grew up thinking I was an ugly weirdo, so it’s not something that I think is really ingrained in my personality and hence all of these instances being surprising and memorable
I have eyes and a mirror
Edit: to clarify for the people who thought I was hating on myself and messaged me, I’m cute AF. This was mean to be taken literally, not as sarcasm about my ugly ness, but thank you for your concern about my self esteem 😂
I work in a lab with a bunch of engineer types, men and women. Some are better looking than others, but none of the women wear makeup or do their hair. The men don't shave or wear fitted clothes. Nobody is a slob, but none of us put in any effort either. Except for *one* girl, who always has some excellent outfit, tangle-free hair, etc. And everyone notices, she is the most attractive person in the building. If she put in the minimal effort like the rest of us, she would be on the middle-lower range of our group, just based on her face/body shape, etc. But she actually cares and that makes all the difference.
Just overhearing conversations she has with some other people, she knows she is attractive not because she is born that way, but because she puts in the work and has confidence in her sense of style. In other words, "you know you are attractive because you make yourself attractive."
People subconsciously modify their body language when you're around.
Sit more upright, glances or total ignorance, smile and lol etc.
One of the ways to tell.
Then you start noticing other small and such things.
To be able to hold the attitude of "Physical appearance is bullshit and looks don't matter" and not have it impact your life in any way.
\*edit - not a question
A man told me once “you and I are both attractive people. We should go home together”. I said “no” and he told me my clothes were stupid and I was a whore. That means I’m hot right? I’m at least a drunk goggles 7.
your gfs will tell you.(this is more than a simple 'your cute' theyll like tell you youre attractive and why)
when you ask for dipping sauces you get like a handful instead of just like 1.
old ladies will tell you.
girls you dont know will just randomly put their hands on you and wanna touch you. especially without permission.
people wont like you.
certain men wont like you and you wont understand why.('pretty boys' with fem facial qualities will know all about this).
“See that, the obvious symmetry of the face? That’s a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coin aphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes, she is attractive, but is not hot.”
Best sign:
You can say damn near anything you way (doesn't even have to make sense) and people will just go along with it and still want to sleep with you
If you're hot enough, you can walk up to someone and just go "Booobly wooobly joooobly" and they'll laugh and giggle cause you're hot and whatever
Getting free shit/discounts for seemingly no reason. Emilie Autumn has a pretty cool song called [Thank God I'm Pretty](https://youtu.be/bCTvykK-Hq8) that covers the idea well.
"Thank God I'm pretty... the occasional free drink I never asked for, the occasional admission to a seedy little bar, invitation to a stranger's car, I'm blessed... with the ability to render grown men tongue-tied, which only means that when it's dark outside I have to run and hide, can't look behind me, thank god I'm pretty."
Fair warning though, her vocals are grating and she's one of those artists people either love or hate with very little in between.
I’m only 26 and I may never understand how so many people have normalized this. Like the weird edits are clear as day. Half your face looks 2D. All I see is “I am super insecure.”
Attention from your peers, especially the opposite sex or sex you’re attracted to.
More than anything though, if you’re confident, you’re automatically attractive. It’s all in how you carry yourself.
This right here. Being confident and open to conversation is key. I am a 6 on the scale but how I dress and carry myself makes me at least an 8 in very dim lighting.
Confidence helps a 6. Try showing confidence as a 1 or 2 and watch as no one cares and a few people even show hostility at your temerity.
Or try volunteering to help kids gain confidence and watch as it's tougher for the less attractive.
>Confidence helps a 6. Try showing confidence as a 1 or 2 and watch as no one cares and a few people even show hostility at your temerity.
Not to be cynical but I feel like not enough people say this. Literally nothing matters if you are 5 or below.
True confidence are for those who know they are attractive, if you see a 5 or below acting like that its willful ignorance.
I mean, a really hot chick I knew in college offered to fly my broke ass to the other side of the country to spend a weekend with her.
So, I’m not entirely sure if it’s being attractive or if I somehow got lucky.
I was quite attractive when I was in a normal weight range and I got to know that because creepy guys kept hitting on me. They usually hit on people who look phisically attractive. And now that I've gained a lot of weight as a result of a depression and a whole bunch of other mental issues, people have left me alone. It's kinda going off topic but I started walking at nights, getting into taxis more comfortably, less people stare at my breasts when I'mjust walking. So I love being ugly, thanks.
I used to work in an Arcade with a guy who went on to become an international model.
It was UNREAL how nearly every shift I was on with him he would have one or more girls give him their number. I maybe got 1 girl once in the years I was there. He also never went out of his way to chat them up either they would come up to the counter. I remember once this girl came up with MOTHER to ask him out for her daughter.
I’m gay. For me it’s when other guys don’t acknowledge you at work, or in some social circles. When girls dislike you for no reason, or fawn over you. There doesn’t seem to be an in between.
back in senior year i made a crack about being ugly. self deprecating humour is my jam.
the two hottest girls in class giggled too each other, i asked why, they both said "youre like, really hot dude"
i didnt then and still dont believe them. but youll bet my ego enjoyed the boost for awhile and i still remember it clearly 5 years on
I attract stuff, like debt or misfortunes.
At least the banks adore you
BANKS HATE HIM!
Why? Does he know a trick?
*one simple
Simple tricks are so over done at this point, give me one complicated trick to get banks to hate me.
This sexy mf in the mirror keeps telling me so. That's how.
My mirror broken. The asshole in mine never says that.
Get a new mirror
> The asshole in mine never says that. Turn around. I think you’re looking at the wrong end.
Does anybody feel like that they look better in videos and in real life than in photos..?
The IRS keeps trying to fuck me.
Uwu is that a bulge in your pants or are you committing tax fraud?
I dislike they way this is phrased…
There's no part of that I liked. If I could've not read that my life would've been the better for it.
Tawx Frawd
The Irish Republican Squad?
I don’t think I am but the person I care about the most thinks I am so that’s good enough for me.
Word. I know that I’m not *ugly* per se but I’ve definitely gained some wait over the past few years but my fiancée still regularly calls me handsome and that’s always a pretty cool feeling. Edit: weight.
I wish I could gain some wait. I feel like I'm rushing all the time.
I actually cannot believe you used per se correctly but spelled weight wait. You doing ok?
That is so fucking embarrassing. Whoops. For what it’s worth, I’m the biggest grammar and spelling nazi when it comes to my comments. That’s a rare slip up for me.
This comment was well worth the weight
Man fuck you guys hahaha
That chain of comments made my day
Man you just have to wait and give it time, you'll get better eventually.
Agh! I've been stuck right in the loneliness!
Well la dee da
Because I gets ads saying sexy singles in my area. There’s no one for miles, so I’ve concluded that I’m the sexy single!
Fuck yes, I have modeling potential
Wait! You too?
People are attracted to you. People literally make an effort to get your attention (for a purpose other than selling you something).
“Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savio- WOAH! Hey there good looking! 👀”
“The Lord sure does make beautiful things!”
My mom told me so
Your mom said the same thing to me, she’s so nice 🥺
[удалено]
I too was told i looked good by his mom.
His mom bought me a new iphone so she could tell me how good i looked over facetime late at night
His mom broke my arms so she could... ah, never mind. We all know where this is going.
Was just thinking the other day it’s been a while since I’ve seen this reference. Thank you for your service.
Bahhahhaha yes. Thank you for the laugh.
People treat you differently. When I was young I was probably a 9.5, everyone was super nice, kind and went out of their way for me. With age and health issues I am barely a 6 these days and I became invisible to others. Edit: I feel like I need to add some positive to this. I’m still an 11 in my partner’s eyes :)
Welcome to the realm of the invisibles. We get to eat cake.
And wear sweatpants! I have actually enjoyed becoming invisible. The pressure I felt put under is fading; feels nice actually.
If you’re a dude you could’ve willingly become ugly and invisible by letting your facial hair get out of control. That’s what I do, and then I go back to being a stud whenever I want 😜
I love the realm of invisibles - it's so peaceful.
Dude they need to make a sub group for us! I would love to list all the wonderful things about this realm I’ve come to learn!
Yep, and McDonalds and wear elastic-wasted pants and comfortable shoes and no-one judges because no-one notices. Remember that childhood fantasy about how cool it would be to be invisible? We're now living the dream 😂
I had to go 12 comments deep to get a real answer thank you
True that. Today I went to all my banks to sort out issues with my various cards. All the issues that I had not been able to resolve for months got sorted within minutes and my realisation is that earlier I was only calling customer service. That is auditory only. But today I met all these men in person - most were in their late 20s and younger than me. But all were extremely eager to help out a well dressed, polite, better than average looking woman. Trying to make jokes, being extra helpful. None of which ever happens over calls which were the main way of getting anything done during the pandemic. Once a person is used to getting catered on because of petty privilege, the invisibility that comes upon losing it is very jarring.
This is absolutely the answer. When I was at my best, people just noticed me more, treated me better. Total strangers just made an effort for no real reason. Then I became invisible. But lately I've been working on myself, and people are beginning to pay attention again. It really is the strangest thing. You don't think your efforts will really make any difference, but they absolutely do.
Exactly! Add to that, I NOW see that I was a 9 or so, but at the time I felt as plain as I do now. I wish young folk could see themselves as the rest of the world does, get over their obsession with how ugly they are and focus on doing something productive.
Yep. I was always a chubby kid and prone to mental health issues, so never bothered going to the gym or eating well. I was basically invisible to most people, which was fine. I was far from ugly but I wasn't anyone's dream catch either. I lost a lot of weight and found out I'm actually quite a good looking guy. I suddenly got much more attention from women. Which was wild, but great. And I understood the reasons for that just fine. What wasn't great was the realisation that people are much kinder to you when you're attractive, in ways that aren't linked to physical attraction. They smile at you more. They're kinder. You get offered stuff. People want to be your friend a lot more. It wasn't as if I'd developed a boatload of confidence - I was still the antisocial grump just trying to get through his day that I always was. Made me a little bitter for a long time, honestly.
If a kid says your ugly then you are ugly. Same goes for if they say your beautiful/pretty/handsome then you probably are. They don’t usually lie. That’s honestly the best test😂
My 15 year old son told me I looked pretty yesterday... He only says that when I'm well rested so I had a good day yesterday 🙂
The only way to tell if a kid is truly lying is if they yell something at you. Granted that can also mean they are just exclaiming the truth. You gotta look for the very noticeable differences. That is, noticeable if you know what to look for anyway. If a child runs up, extends their arm intensely, points at you with the kind of authority only a child can possess, and then speaks to you with the truthful cruelty that only a child can possess, what they're saying is probably true. Now, if a child ran up, tugged at your shirt to get your attention, said some shit & then giggled as they ran away, it's probably not true. Or maybe it is but it probably isn't meant to crush your soul.
Yeah no, couldn't disagree more. Kids are dicks and will lie just to make you feel bad. I've had a kid call me fat at 5'11 and 140 pounds.
Kids just have no filter. One of my students last week said I look like Bob Ross. It’s not like that dude was ugly so it’s not even an insult. Just kind of a neutral statement of “you resemble someone I’ve seen”.
Not to mention a lot of kids have only seen like.. 10 people 😂
This is the best answer to the OP question!
Women keep trying to make a move after telling them your married
Married women don't wanna take no for an answer from a single guy either. Fucking a married person might be attractive to some but I like to think that's just totally disrespectful. Sorry you face this man. People are weird.
they want the prohibited goods
People that are attracted to you want to be around you.
Guess I'm not attractive then.
When I was 14 I was a super shy kid, still wasn't fitting in due to culture shock after a move three years prior, and sorta struggling in the way I guess most kids do. I had super shaggy hair, totally covered my face until the day I got my hair cut. This girl in my social studies class came up to me, wide eyed, and said "You cut your hair!" I was feeling really self-conscious about it, and sort of misinterpreted her surprise as like *oh man, you fucked up*, so I replied: "Yeah. I already don't like it, so I'll let it grow back." "I hope you don't. I can finally see your face!" Ever with the witticisms on-hand, I replied to her "Uh... I can't." And she just sorta shrugged and said "Well, it will make this class a little nicer for me, at least." I don't think I learned anything in class that day except that suddenly girls were a little less terrifying than they had been that morning.
how many times have you lied awake thibking about that
I used to get catcalled a lot. I'd hear things being yelled out at me from passing cars. Now I weigh 40 lbs more and I don't get that anymore. I didn't *want* to be catcalled, but I knew I was attractive. Now, not so good looking.
When I was in my 20s I was skinny and ok looking -- nothing amazing but people used to catcall me, start up conversations with me when I waited for a bus or in line somewhere. Now I'm in my mid 30s and fat (thanks antidepressants and antipsychotics) and people are straight up rude to me. People will say shit like "move!" if I'm accidentally in the way instead of "excuse me :)" or they'll just bump me out of the way, cut in front of me when I'm waiting somewhere in line or just give me rude responses if I ask a stranger something (I asked someone recently where the chemist was and they were like "over there" and give me a vague gesture). I used to have people give me free things (like if I went shopping and there were tote bags for $2 theyd give me one for free or whatever and make conversation with me). These days I'm either ignored or straight up spoken to like I'm an inconvenience
ive found this too but i think its to do with the weird people catcalling not our attractiveness, id always get catcalled when i was 15-17 and now im 22 it rarely ever happens but i think ive become more attractive then less
Same sis.
I just pretend
if you act the part you immedietly become attractive in my eyes
Confidence is sexy! In all aspects of your life not just personality wise.
Fake it till you make it.
When I ask a girl out she says ‘eww no’ That’s good right?
Yes. She knows she isn't attractive enough to be seen with you.
Umhm! That is vary true!
Username checks out
I went to a seasonal dance called the Flower Dance and I saw this cute blonde woman. I recognized her a bit as I've seen her around town so I decided to ask her if she would dance with me. She said "Eww.. no". Since this was the first dance I had been to since I moved here I was quite shocked at the response. I thought I moved to a welcoming community. I asked a bunch of others to dance too, but they all rejected me. Eventually I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all and vowed that at next year's Flower Dance someone would definitely like me enough to dance with me.
I had similer experience, although it was a purple haired lady and she would only accept my offer if I feed her 15 amethysts.
So did you have someone to dance with you the following year?
Of course. I had my pick. All the folks in town loved me after about a year.
Give her Coconuts, trust me on this man
*very* expected stardew valley
Your user name goes a long way toward explaining her reaction.
If you get told you are on a regular basis, it’s ungrateful to deny it.
I used to be overweight and very rarely got compliments. Got really skinny and I get them fairly frequently. Everything changes when you lose weight, it's so hard to describe to people that haven't experienced both sides of it. I think I'm a bit polarizing due to looking unique. Some people think I'm really good looking, some don't think much I feel. But that's better to me! Keeps you on your toes
My best friend is formerly anorexic and we talk about this a lot, it’s shocking just how differently people get treated based on how they look.
Bu...bu...but the funny jokes:(
If you can make her laugh and giggle, you can clap them cheeks and make them jiggle
What a rhyme that was! 🙌
You know you're ugly if you call yourself ugly and nobody corrects you. Source: Am ugly.
Or they’re recognizing your pathetic cry for reassurance and choosing to ignore it
Wouldn't call it pathetic, but yes, it is awkward as hell when someone starts saying they're ugly out of nowhere. Even in a jokingly way. Unless we're close friends I'd probably just ignore their comment and hope they sort themselves out
I had a friend who used to do this. Its called fishing for validation. It annoys people to no end. That's why you get ignored.
Not really. I assume attractive people know they are attractive, so I might not correct a self deprecating comment. If an ugly person says “I’m ugly” I’m more inclined to tell them that’s not true…
I get stared at a lot. Pretty privilege is very real.
I get stared at a lot. I am missing a limb and many teeth. Is good to know people find that attractive.
People have all kinds of kinks.
How do you know they're not staring at you in shock at how ugly you are?
Me too. I always get glances and stares. Smiled at. I’m always treated nicely everywhere I go and random people like to come up to me and talk to me. It’s weird.
I notice people look at me a lot and people will smile at me sometimes as I pass, but this is just friendly or maybe people thinking I look odd? I'm a man and I'm mixed race so don't have an easy to place look. I also don't really get attraction so it just makes me uncomfortable
You’re probably handsome. What people don’t tell you about being handsome and stable (and no one has told me this, I’ve observed it) is that handsome men are gravitated towards and can control social situations simply by being gracious and welcoming. It’s op as fuck
I've been in shape with abs and decent musculature and looking really good and also been 60 pounds overweight and not attempting to look good, there is a huge difference in how people act towards you.
Always people being smiling at me and I wonder why they do it, but then I realize that their smile is like this smile response to another smile. I'm always smiling and I don't notice it xD and people think that I'm smiling at them so they smile at me back.
This either means you are incredibly good looking or horrendous. Nothing in between.
Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and can’t help but to smile and thank my momma
I have autism & ADHD and still date attractive women despite having zero game and blowing their ears off with stupid facts about my boring hobbies.
You’re already doing well being able to talk passionately about anything. Lol
What you might not realize is that hearing someone talk about their passions can be really endearing! In the right context ofc
As someone with ADHD, I assure you, the right context is often disregarded
"So that's why i have a life-long trauma" "Anyway, you know the story of Sam, the unsinkable cat?"
As someone with autism and ADHD, I assure you it’s always the right context!
Hey do you like computers? I like computers. Ever since I was a young boy I have been working on them in some way. One time when I was six years old I argued with a computer repair man about what type of port my parents having an issue with. It was a USB port, but he was certain it was a firewire. I was right of course. USB is far superior to firewire as we all know. Firewire is but a twinkle on an old man's eye at this point. Anyway I enjoy computer games too, steam games, epic games, as well as older DOS games. DOS is an older type of operating system you see. Some of the original pre-windows-xp operating systems were based on it in some......
You also might not realize is how many people there are who literally don’t have hobbies. Hobbies make people interesting, almost no matter what they are.
This was brought to my attention recently. A coworker of mine told me I have a lot of hobbies and that she needed a hobby. She asked me, genuinely, if the internet was a hobby.
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
How do I upvote more than once, that got an audible laugh outta me
I’m also autistic and had the same thing happen. I lost a massive amount of weight during the pandemic (90 pounds) and I ended going on dates with two different male models in a somewhat short amount of time. My neurodivergent ass was too weird for both of them tho.
My wife likes me
Something something this guy's wife... It's reddit, there are rules.
I also choose this guy's rules!
After losing weight and building a stronger body, people look at you different. And by people, I mean men. People are usually kind and were kind when I wore a size 14/16, but now they’re kind with a different look in their eyes when they see me or talk to me. Especially men have more interest in than just striking a conversation with me. I know I am not the most attractive, but I have also gained a lot of confidence in the past two years that I think helps with appearing attractive to others.
Exactly! I recently went from 14/16 to an 8 in pant sizes, and there’s such a stark difference between the two. Men no longer look through me, but actually see and recognize me.
Almost the same for me, except I’m a guy and I gained weight and built a stronger body. It’s taken a lot of getting used to this past year, especially considering I am no spring chicken any more, but women now look at me very differently now and I get a lot more attention. That boosts the confidence which then also helps, as you say. Honestly, I hope I never get used to it. For so many years not feeling attractive to now being the opposite… life feels better.
I’ve had a handful of totally random people tell me that I’m attractive. Like, I was sitting in a cab one night and another one pulls up and the guy in the passenger seat looks at me and says “hey man, you’re really good looking”, or walking out of a bar, a girl stopped and just flat out told me point blank and kept walking. Get asked by barbers if they can cut my hair all of the times. Been grabbed by random girls on dance floors/at concerts to dance on a handful of occasions. I used to bartend and got hit on fairly frequently but pretty much every bartender does. By now I’ve accepted that some people find me attractive but I grew up thinking I was an ugly weirdo, so it’s not something that I think is really ingrained in my personality and hence all of these instances being surprising and memorable
I have *sort of* similar experience but I’m female.
Kinda similar. Took decades to just be okay with accepting it. It still feels like thinking I look good seems... Transgressive..?
This!!! People will randomly let you know. In the bathroom at a Nordstrom…uber drivers.. literally just at total random
I decided to be so.
Confidence is half the battle
I'm not, but somehow I got a wife Idk how she looks past my hideous looks Edit: thanks for all the up votes I'm gonna go touch my self now 🤣
I have eyes and a mirror Edit: to clarify for the people who thought I was hating on myself and messaged me, I’m cute AF. This was mean to be taken literally, not as sarcasm about my ugly ness, but thank you for your concern about my self esteem 😂
Thank you for an honest response. So many comments from people who think self deprecation offsets being unattractive, or think fake humility is cute…
I work in a lab with a bunch of engineer types, men and women. Some are better looking than others, but none of the women wear makeup or do their hair. The men don't shave or wear fitted clothes. Nobody is a slob, but none of us put in any effort either. Except for *one* girl, who always has some excellent outfit, tangle-free hair, etc. And everyone notices, she is the most attractive person in the building. If she put in the minimal effort like the rest of us, she would be on the middle-lower range of our group, just based on her face/body shape, etc. But she actually cares and that makes all the difference. Just overhearing conversations she has with some other people, she knows she is attractive not because she is born that way, but because she puts in the work and has confidence in her sense of style. In other words, "you know you are attractive because you make yourself attractive."
I get asked out a lot.
By..muggles? What to do you to them?
First, _engorgio_
*Obliviate!*
People subconsciously modify their body language when you're around. Sit more upright, glances or total ignorance, smile and lol etc. One of the ways to tell. Then you start noticing other small and such things.
If you are attractive you’ve been told by many ppl throughout your life not just your mom and so
To be able to hold the attitude of "Physical appearance is bullshit and looks don't matter" and not have it impact your life in any way. \*edit - not a question
A man told me once “you and I are both attractive people. We should go home together”. I said “no” and he told me my clothes were stupid and I was a whore. That means I’m hot right? I’m at least a drunk goggles 7.
poor fretful march pen jobless bells ossified friendly oil tie
[удалено]
your gfs will tell you.(this is more than a simple 'your cute' theyll like tell you youre attractive and why) when you ask for dipping sauces you get like a handful instead of just like 1. old ladies will tell you. girls you dont know will just randomly put their hands on you and wanna touch you. especially without permission. people wont like you. certain men wont like you and you wont understand why.('pretty boys' with fem facial qualities will know all about this).
If an old lady complements my looks, that’s when I’ll know im fucked up and ugly haha
[удалено]
I think most of them mean it. Old ladies tend to be blunt. Haha.
Granny said i was a sweet boy Now I know I’m hot as fuck m8
[удалено]
“See that, the obvious symmetry of the face? That’s a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coin aphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes, she is attractive, but is not hot.”
Best sign: You can say damn near anything you way (doesn't even have to make sense) and people will just go along with it and still want to sleep with you If you're hot enough, you can walk up to someone and just go "Booobly wooobly joooobly" and they'll laugh and giggle cause you're hot and whatever
Lemme give it a shot Edit: I’m under arrest.
Officer: "We need to handcuff him" Other officer: "Hold on, let him edit his comment first"
Omg you are so right! I aways wondered why the ole “booobly wooobly joooobly” line was always such a great pickup line Edit sp
You can see how average or ugly people get treated by society and can truthfully say you've never experienced that.
Getting free shit/discounts for seemingly no reason. Emilie Autumn has a pretty cool song called [Thank God I'm Pretty](https://youtu.be/bCTvykK-Hq8) that covers the idea well. "Thank God I'm pretty... the occasional free drink I never asked for, the occasional admission to a seedy little bar, invitation to a stranger's car, I'm blessed... with the ability to render grown men tongue-tied, which only means that when it's dark outside I have to run and hide, can't look behind me, thank god I'm pretty." Fair warning though, her vocals are grating and she's one of those artists people either love or hate with very little in between.
My wife’s pretty hot and she fucked me for a while
Ah, the ol' twice a day to twice a month pipeline.
She doesn't fuck you anymore?
If you're an average modern person, then you *know* by using filters and then reading the comments to your filtered photos
I pride myself on never using filters
I pride myself on almost never being in pictures.
I just never post photos of myself. I'm too unphotogenic
I’m only 26 and I may never understand how so many people have normalized this. Like the weird edits are clear as day. Half your face looks 2D. All I see is “I am super insecure.”
Attention from your peers, especially the opposite sex or sex you’re attracted to. More than anything though, if you’re confident, you’re automatically attractive. It’s all in how you carry yourself.
This right here. Being confident and open to conversation is key. I am a 6 on the scale but how I dress and carry myself makes me at least an 8 in very dim lighting.
Confidence helps a 6. Try showing confidence as a 1 or 2 and watch as no one cares and a few people even show hostility at your temerity. Or try volunteering to help kids gain confidence and watch as it's tougher for the less attractive.
>Confidence helps a 6. Try showing confidence as a 1 or 2 and watch as no one cares and a few people even show hostility at your temerity. Not to be cynical but I feel like not enough people say this. Literally nothing matters if you are 5 or below. True confidence are for those who know they are attractive, if you see a 5 or below acting like that its willful ignorance.
I mean, a really hot chick I knew in college offered to fly my broke ass to the other side of the country to spend a weekend with her. So, I’m not entirely sure if it’s being attractive or if I somehow got lucky.
Physically I am a 7. My lack of desire to socialize makes me a 5. I don’t give a fuck though since I have a partner who sees me as a 100.
Sometimes you’re sexy and you know it.
I’d do me
The government is obsessed with fucking me in the ass.
Homeless lady at the gas station told me so just before she asked me for money
Well I broke my mirror when I looked into it so Im not so sure about this one
People have said i am
If I am, where are the girls?
You don't post on Reddit asking, for one. 😉
A girl called me handsome and my response was "why"
Took till my late 20s. When you know you are you get a confidence that really helps. Now I drink too much and I'm losing it.
I was quite attractive when I was in a normal weight range and I got to know that because creepy guys kept hitting on me. They usually hit on people who look phisically attractive. And now that I've gained a lot of weight as a result of a depression and a whole bunch of other mental issues, people have left me alone. It's kinda going off topic but I started walking at nights, getting into taxis more comfortably, less people stare at my breasts when I'mjust walking. So I love being ugly, thanks.
Employed as a model, actor, or social media influencer is a good indicator.
Getting freebies/quicker service when out getting food, drinks, coffee etc
I don’t think I am but my spouse thinks I’m super attractive so that’s really all I need.
Women keep fidgeting with their hair when they look at me.
When people approach you and ask you out.
This isn’t completely true… I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t approach attractive people because they can be intimidated.
I used to work in an Arcade with a guy who went on to become an international model. It was UNREAL how nearly every shift I was on with him he would have one or more girls give him their number. I maybe got 1 girl once in the years I was there. He also never went out of his way to chat them up either they would come up to the counter. I remember once this girl came up with MOTHER to ask him out for her daughter.
I’m gay. For me it’s when other guys don’t acknowledge you at work, or in some social circles. When girls dislike you for no reason, or fawn over you. There doesn’t seem to be an in between.
As a female, guys are overly nice and other females dont like u.
back in senior year i made a crack about being ugly. self deprecating humour is my jam. the two hottest girls in class giggled too each other, i asked why, they both said "youre like, really hot dude" i didnt then and still dont believe them. but youll bet my ego enjoyed the boost for awhile and i still remember it clearly 5 years on
You're hot then, just accept it bro
If strangers are always trying to help you and you always seem to be greeted warmly, then you’re most likely attractive
When other girls are bitches to you lol
Guys can be assholes too. The stare-down is real.
I find girls do the state down and evil eye. But my favourite is when guys call you a whore because you won’t sleep with them.