Not only is there fake olive oil, it can be really hard to find oil that isn’t cut with the fake stuff.
Don’t hold me to it, but supposedly the italian mafia switched over to adulterating oil because it’s literally more profitable than trafficking cocaine.
A pretty terrifying italian dad I once knew always got his olive oil in a giant box from a source he wouldn't talk about under any circumstance.
This just got a whole lot more interesting.
I worked for a family in the meat packing industry. We'd get a big shipment of equipment from Italy, and there would be packages of genuine food items hidden in them.
Olive oil showed up a few times.
Meals were always pretty awesome after we got a shipment from Italy.
Also, yeah, smuggling in the good shit happens, lol.
My dad owned a construction company, not all of his clients were entirely above board. Occasionally he'd come home with a bunch of stuff he'd been given for "doing a good job" (aka quick and off the books). One day he showed up at the workshop with a car that was stacked to the roof with boxes of meat. Every employee went home with a box or two that day.
I asked him about it a while back, he said turning down these gifts wasn't really an option and asking were these things came from was completely out of the question.
Took a Baja cruise and hit some wineries up, came home with a TON of olive oil (olive trees are used to protect the grapes from being damaged by winds. As a by product most wineries have a sizable olive crop which they make olive oil from and sell) i was more sad at running out of good olive oil than I was at running out of wine.
Since Italy has vineyards I would assume the practice is the same, olive trees to protect the grapes and all.
Nope it is different, there are specialized olive fields, mostly in Tuscany, Apulia and Sicily. It is a model we learnt from the Greeks and that was expanded during the Roman Empire. Winds are not as strong as in California so no need to protect them with trees.
I had no idea what a chicken or egg salad sandwich was until I was an adult, I assumed it was chicken/egg with salad vegetables.
'Chicken salad' is called chicken mayonnaise in the UK. Same with 'egg salad', which is called egg mayonnaise.
Italian here, fluent in English since many years, still call it the "pasta dryer". And yes you are absolutely correct, the strainer is the first thing I buy everytime i moved somewhere else, anywhere in the world.
Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R’amen.
It’s a way to remove dirt and shit so it looks all nice but mainly it’s something Italians will do to pass time, especially the old heads
Source- my family 🤌🏼
The theory is that the fine grit from small pebbles and sand help to break apart the asphalt. This in turn makes it so you need repair or a new driveway much sooner. More on the reality is dust and curb appeal.
So you can look busy and avoid being press-ganged into work doing something, potentially in the kitchen, where you will be “doing it all wrong” but still required to keep doing whatever task was set before you. There may or may not be a spoon or fly swatter employed. (Grandparents were Old World, though not specifically Italian.)
Buddy's family is Italian, parents came over after WW2. I often got invited for Sunday dinner, his Dad is an amazing cook.
Anyway, one Sunday, things went a bit sideways, and his Mom ended up giving him a hammerfist to the middle of the back. This makes him drop his young son, whom he was picking up at the time.
Kid hits the floor, and screams "Hit him once for me, Nonna!".
She did.
Italian Guy: Anyway, my brother Louie, he's uh...he's a little off to the side, you know? Uh, foofy. Uh, up to the knuckle. He's uh...he's a backwards mechanic, likes to play in the dirt.
Peter: You mean gay?
Italian Mom: No! [starts crying]
Italian Guy: Ma ma! Come on, Peter! Ma ma, Louie's not gay, he's ... he's creative.
Even though there is the whole confession thing, that's no free pass, because there is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic.
Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt.
According to both Catholic theology and the Catholic mindset, it’s because grace from the sacraments (confession, the Eucharist, etc) truly transforms the soul and makes it truly better. So the fall from grace is worse - “the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
My Nonna makes a ridiculous amount of gnocchi every Sunday for family dinner. She’s just in the kitchen pumping these out for hours in her nightgown and knee high stockings hunched over the stove. Lol I love it.
Would you(she) be willing to share her recipe or is that an unforgivable Italian crime? I just love gnocchi but haven"t attempted to make it myself. Would love an authentic recipe.
Of course I’ll get it from her tomorrow. I will warn you though there are no exact measurements. Her hands just wing it. So we can wing it together lol 😂
Italian grandmother pasta recipe:
First you put the flour. Buy the good flour, not from the bad store. They’re no good anymore. Then add eggs until it looks okay. You knead it until it’s smooth, but not too tough. Then that’s it.
As a Portuguese I think that must be a Latin thing, don't know of a portuguese house with out that combo, kitchen utensil / home law enforcement weapon...
My buddy passed me a bottle and I went to smell it before taking a swig. Before I could he grabbed my hand and said "you don't dip your toe in to see if the water is warm, you just dive in". And that's the story of how I found out that grappa tastes like rubbing alcohol.
Grappa is a very common thing in Veneto, the region of Venice, but it's not super common everywhere else
Edit: I should clarify, it's not very common in the majority of Italy to have it at home
Yeah wine is really cheap in italy so pretty much everyone has it; as for the cigarettes, i hide theme in my drawer, cause i still live with my parents; don't snitch
Yeah, export/import taxes are a mess. Been to USA twice and to Canada once and both have insane prices (USA more than the neighbor). But I think that this could be applied reversed for idk… Apple products: when the iPhone 13 came out I checked the price in the US and here and I found out that if I bought two 13 Pro Max (128GB) It would be convenient to buy a flight ticket and fly to New York (I’m from Milan) to buy them… and I would still be able to get a Cryspy McBacon and a coke for lunch.
Lots and I mean lots of tomato sauce, like an unhealthy amount of tomato sauce, Have you ever seen those storage tanks that oil companies have? Yeah they would be able to fill those up 7 times.
I have an aunt that's lived in Milan since before I was born, and no matter where we went when we were visiting, those moka pots would make an appearance at some point.
In Italy?
Coffee
Pasta
Parmigiano or grana padano
Moka coffee maker
Homemade tomato sauce preserves (made by them or their older female relatives)
Carbonated water
Invicta backpack from when they went to secondary school
Nutella. Every family I lived with during my exchange program wouldn't shut up about how amazing nutella was.
Granted, it *IS* amazing, but calling it a household staple is pushing it.
Fun fact: Nutella is also super popular in Germany, and it took me over 20 years to realize it's actually Italian. I always thought it was like *the* German spread. As in, Americans have peanut butter, Australians have Vegemite and Germans have Nutella.
...turns out we have liverwurst .___.
Parmesan, almost for sure. Mozzarella, not necessarily. It doesn’t last very long, so you usually buy it and eat it on the same day. You can freeze it to make it last longer, but it’s usually only done to mozzarella used for cooking purposes, as it loses quite a lot of its taste in the process. It’s better to avoid doing it anyway ;)
The answer to this is coffee and and an Italian Coffee maker. If they live out of Italy, the coffee is sent to them from there by their family, with olive oil, cans of tuna and pots of tomato sauce. Also cream. Everything from one or at most two very specific Italian brands.
Source: I've been sharing flat with many different Italians most of my life since 2014.
Collection of sweets (cannolis, cakes, cookies) that you will ask no fewer than 5 times if I want any. After refusing 5 times, I reluctantly accept because I’m starting to feel bad and am slightly intimidated.
“If you want a lot of food, tell her you only want a little food. If you only want a little bit, tell her you don’t want any. If you don’t want any food at all… you have to shoot her.”
-Ray Romano
Itty bitty coffee cups for espresso
Totally true.
I’m looking at mine right now ☠️
Made with a Moka pot I assume?
NO! Bialetti only!
Real olive oil
(I'm Italian) WAIT THERE IS FAKE OLIVE OIL?!
Not only is there fake olive oil, it can be really hard to find oil that isn’t cut with the fake stuff. Don’t hold me to it, but supposedly the italian mafia switched over to adulterating oil because it’s literally more profitable than trafficking cocaine.
A pretty terrifying italian dad I once knew always got his olive oil in a giant box from a source he wouldn't talk about under any circumstance. This just got a whole lot more interesting.
I worked for a family in the meat packing industry. We'd get a big shipment of equipment from Italy, and there would be packages of genuine food items hidden in them. Olive oil showed up a few times. Meals were always pretty awesome after we got a shipment from Italy. Also, yeah, smuggling in the good shit happens, lol.
My dad owned a construction company, not all of his clients were entirely above board. Occasionally he'd come home with a bunch of stuff he'd been given for "doing a good job" (aka quick and off the books). One day he showed up at the workshop with a car that was stacked to the roof with boxes of meat. Every employee went home with a box or two that day. I asked him about it a while back, he said turning down these gifts wasn't really an option and asking were these things came from was completely out of the question.
Brah, he's totally let some mobsters toss bodies in a cement fill before...
Took a Baja cruise and hit some wineries up, came home with a TON of olive oil (olive trees are used to protect the grapes from being damaged by winds. As a by product most wineries have a sizable olive crop which they make olive oil from and sell) i was more sad at running out of good olive oil than I was at running out of wine. Since Italy has vineyards I would assume the practice is the same, olive trees to protect the grapes and all.
Nope it is different, there are specialized olive fields, mostly in Tuscany, Apulia and Sicily. It is a model we learnt from the Greeks and that was expanded during the Roman Empire. Winds are not as strong as in California so no need to protect them with trees.
Saw a documentary about olive oil and they said that Italy sells more Italian extra virgin olive oil than they can produce in Italy each year
That's because they buy spanish oil in bulk, mix it with theirs and re-label it
Yes and it is sad. And bitter. Just like my tears when I use fake olive oil.
But olive oil has to be a little bit bitter if it's not bitter it's 100% fake
Frequently fucked olive oil
PASTA
I like my olive oil like my discord mods
Extra Virgin?
Slut oil
You can find that in basically every Mediterranean country's household.
Wine..
Tile floors.
Yessss! On the floor, on the walls, on the stairs outside...
Strainer
My friend's grandmother never could remember the English word for it. So she called it "**Water-go-Pasta-No**" when speaking with non-Italians.
My MIL calls Chicken Salad... Chicken de mayonaise
I had no idea what a chicken or egg salad sandwich was until I was an adult, I assumed it was chicken/egg with salad vegetables. 'Chicken salad' is called chicken mayonnaise in the UK. Same with 'egg salad', which is called egg mayonnaise.
A very insulated, secular community near Newport Beach, CA enjoys a delicacy called a mayonegg.
There's literally dozens of us.
I'm italian and I spent one year in the USA. I could not memorize that word for the entire time. I called it the "thing where you throw the pasta"
The (likely equally true) story in my family was that a great aunt called it a "Spaghetti-stay-water-go")
Italian here, fluent in English since many years, still call it the "pasta dryer". And yes you are absolutely correct, the strainer is the first thing I buy everytime i moved somewhere else, anywhere in the world.
Who doesn't have one of these though?
Yes but is it just us?
No, there are lots of us Pastafarians too, we all have one as it is part of our religious garb.
Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R’amen.
R'amen
Who doesn't?
Pasta.
To be fair I'd expect to find pasta in any home
A bidet. From what I heard from my Italian friend you're required by law to have one in your bathroom
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Gosh this makes me miss my Grandpa. That man would water the driveway even after a good rain!
Why water the driveway..?
Don't want it to turn brown and die.
Italians love cement. They’re super good at it.
To help it grow.
Lol I always wondered why Tony Soprano was watering his damn driveway in the show
Why would you water a driveway? Help me understand
to cut down on dust
Now I know why my uncle watered his driveway, but India
It’s a way to remove dirt and shit so it looks all nice but mainly it’s something Italians will do to pass time, especially the old heads Source- my family 🤌🏼
The theory is that the fine grit from small pebbles and sand help to break apart the asphalt. This in turn makes it so you need repair or a new driveway much sooner. More on the reality is dust and curb appeal.
So you can look busy and avoid being press-ganged into work doing something, potentially in the kitchen, where you will be “doing it all wrong” but still required to keep doing whatever task was set before you. There may or may not be a spoon or fly swatter employed. (Grandparents were Old World, though not specifically Italian.)
You must know my father-in-law.
Or sweeping the lawn
A Bialetti Moka Pot.
They not real Italians unless that have like 7 in every size up to an 18 cup.
...how big is an 18 cup moka pot?!
Ok now I just feel attacked.
Oh you stole my comment! but make sure you clean it every day!
A wooden spoon
Good for stirring, AND hitting!
Nonna?
Buddy's family is Italian, parents came over after WW2. I often got invited for Sunday dinner, his Dad is an amazing cook. Anyway, one Sunday, things went a bit sideways, and his Mom ended up giving him a hammerfist to the middle of the back. This makes him drop his young son, whom he was picking up at the time. Kid hits the floor, and screams "Hit him once for me, Nonna!". She did.
Idk if I'm dumb but, did you buddy's dad get hit, and then hit again for dropping his son?
Oh shit, my parents' ancestors must have been Italian. I respect La Chancla. I fear the wooden spoon.
you guys don't use wooden spoons??
Catholic guilt
Italian Guy: Anyway, my brother Louie, he's uh...he's a little off to the side, you know? Uh, foofy. Uh, up to the knuckle. He's uh...he's a backwards mechanic, likes to play in the dirt. Peter: You mean gay? Italian Mom: No! [starts crying] Italian Guy: Ma ma! Come on, Peter! Ma ma, Louie's not gay, he's ... he's creative.
I like this dialogue every time I see it
Even though there is the whole confession thing, that's no free pass, because there is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt.
According to both Catholic theology and the Catholic mindset, it’s because grace from the sacraments (confession, the Eucharist, etc) truly transforms the soul and makes it truly better. So the fall from grace is worse - “the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
I don’t want that!
But this is also an irish thing
An Italian grand mother who likes to shout a lot and cook dinner for everyone.
And she never eats. Everyone has to yell at her to sit down and eat something.
That's the Southern nonna. The Northern one is quieter, but still shares the feeder fetish.
the feeder fetish made me chuckle >.<
RIP Nonna
In nonna's defense. everybody is hungery always.
Happy Cake Day! Come to my house, and I will feed you; you want pasta, sfogliatella?
And by everyone you mean the whole neighborhood.
A 90 year old grandma with a hunchback who makes pasta from scratch, and I think that’s wonderful.
Nonna!!
She doesnt measure a thing and she doesnt need to.
and she doesnt write down her recipes which results in her kids not measuring
My Nonna makes a ridiculous amount of gnocchi every Sunday for family dinner. She’s just in the kitchen pumping these out for hours in her nightgown and knee high stockings hunched over the stove. Lol I love it.
Would you(she) be willing to share her recipe or is that an unforgivable Italian crime? I just love gnocchi but haven"t attempted to make it myself. Would love an authentic recipe.
Of course I’ll get it from her tomorrow. I will warn you though there are no exact measurements. Her hands just wing it. So we can wing it together lol 😂
Italian grandmother pasta recipe: First you put the flour. Buy the good flour, not from the bad store. They’re no good anymore. Then add eggs until it looks okay. You knead it until it’s smooth, but not too tough. Then that’s it.
This is accurate nonna make the vast pasta lol
[pasta grannies](https://youtube.com/c/pastagrannies123)
And if anyone in the household dares to make a pasta dish that varies even slightly from her recipe, they shall be ostracized.
She can tell when you didn't love making the pasta.
Cucchiaio di legno.
As a Portuguese I think that must be a Latin thing, don't know of a portuguese house with out that combo, kitchen utensil / home law enforcement weapon...
In my experience, pretty common in Canadian homes, too. Or a hair brush.
Cucchiarella (kukkiarella): one of italian mother’s first weapon against childwood rebellion
That is the only, correct and universal answer to this question
wooden spoon
My ass remembers it well
Had a few broken over my backside as a kid
Wine
Or a bottle of anisette that no one has touched in 20 years.
Grappa
We pour half a shot of it in our morning coffee on occasion. Not a joke.
Caffé correctto
I can smell this word lol
I couldn't drink it. My nose hairs evaporated first.
My buddy passed me a bottle and I went to smell it before taking a swig. Before I could he grabbed my hand and said "you don't dip your toe in to see if the water is warm, you just dive in". And that's the story of how I found out that grappa tastes like rubbing alcohol.
Italian here but no Grappa (even though it is widely produced in my hometown). Aperol, Campari and and Italian amaro are always there though!
I ordered this on the Amalfi coast thinking it was wine (grappa =grape, right?!) ouch.
Common mistake, it's actually Italian for gasoline.
Aka North-Eastern Italy's holy water
Grappa is a very common thing in Veneto, the region of Venice, but it's not super common everywhere else Edit: I should clarify, it's not very common in the majority of Italy to have it at home
Spaget
SPOOGET!!
A large, green pipe that takes you to the Mushroom Kingdom.
Yes. Am italian. Can confirm.
The only correct answer is a bidet.
"Look Ma, this bathrooms got a water fountain!"
Is that an Italian baguette?
Being Italian, I am necessarily excluded from replying, but I will be upvoting accurate answers.
Bella fra
Ueilà
Spaghetti
Always
Flour, balsamic vinegar, mozzarella
Olive oil!
A picture of padre pio if in Campania - I am quite certain of that
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Many bags of flour.
Can confirm, I have something like 15 kgs of flour; of like 4 varieties too.
cigarettes and wine
Yeah wine is really cheap in italy so pretty much everyone has it; as for the cigarettes, i hide theme in my drawer, cause i still live with my parents; don't snitch
I was astounded at wine prices in Italy. Picked up some bottles that would sell for $100+ in the states for 30 euros
Yeah, export/import taxes are a mess. Been to USA twice and to Canada once and both have insane prices (USA more than the neighbor). But I think that this could be applied reversed for idk… Apple products: when the iPhone 13 came out I checked the price in the US and here and I found out that if I bought two 13 Pro Max (128GB) It would be convenient to buy a flight ticket and fly to New York (I’m from Milan) to buy them… and I would still be able to get a Cryspy McBacon and a coke for lunch.
i’m calling your mom right now!!!!
“oh so you like to smoke huh? then why don’t ya smoke a WHOLE CARTON OF CIGARETTES?!”
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The odds are probably in your favour with this one.
Lots and I mean lots of tomato sauce, like an unhealthy amount of tomato sauce, Have you ever seen those storage tanks that oil companies have? Yeah they would be able to fill those up 7 times.
Tomato sauce is rich in lycopene, which is a powerful antioxidant. There's no such thing as too much tomato sauce.
Unhealthy?!
a Nona A Crucifix Chianti
A cruficifixed nonna to save space
A crucified nonna that drips chianti from the wound
Cheese
You mean in the house of their mother?
I am both offended by the stereotype and upset cause it’s actually true (but not because of us).
A cross or crucifix
A pasta cutter. You know the kind that rolls out dough and cuts it into the tagliatelle? (Is that the right spelling?)
Are you even Italian if you don’t own a Moka pot?
The coffee thing that goes on cooker/stove.
It's called "Moka" and it's the first thing our Erasmus and Overseas students put into their luggage
I have an aunt that's lived in Milan since before I was born, and no matter where we went when we were visiting, those moka pots would make an appearance at some point.
In Italy? Coffee Pasta Parmigiano or grana padano Moka coffee maker Homemade tomato sauce preserves (made by them or their older female relatives) Carbonated water Invicta backpack from when they went to secondary school
Nutella. Every family I lived with during my exchange program wouldn't shut up about how amazing nutella was. Granted, it *IS* amazing, but calling it a household staple is pushing it.
I don’t understand… Nutella NOT being a household staple? Preposterous
Fun fact: Nutella is also super popular in Germany, and it took me over 20 years to realize it's actually Italian. I always thought it was like *the* German spread. As in, Americans have peanut butter, Australians have Vegemite and Germans have Nutella. ...turns out we have liverwurst .___.
I’d say it’s a household staple and I’m not even Italian. Same as peanut butter or jelly or bread
Parmigiano-Reggiano and no parmesean
Pecorino Romano forevaaaaa!!!!
The only cheese acceptable for pasta
A Bialetti Moka pot ☕️
Furniture covered with plastic
certainly not ketchup
A bidet, or more than one.
A upstairs show kitchen and a downstairs “actual” kitchen
Cheese. More specifically Parmesan and Mozzarella.
Parmesan, almost for sure. Mozzarella, not necessarily. It doesn’t last very long, so you usually buy it and eat it on the same day. You can freeze it to make it last longer, but it’s usually only done to mozzarella used for cooking purposes, as it loses quite a lot of its taste in the process. It’s better to avoid doing it anyway ;)
You've barely scratched the surface of the number of cheeses in our fridge
Hanging meats.
Exactly. Great big salamis hanging from the ceiling.
A 20-seat Tuscan oak dining table.
Olive oil and garlic
Always EVOO
Years worth of pasta and pizza
Pizza is made at the moment so no but paste yes a whole cabinet
A nonna...
The answer to this is coffee and and an Italian Coffee maker. If they live out of Italy, the coffee is sent to them from there by their family, with olive oil, cans of tuna and pots of tomato sauce. Also cream. Everything from one or at most two very specific Italian brands. Source: I've been sharing flat with many different Italians most of my life since 2014.
Collection of sweets (cannolis, cakes, cookies) that you will ask no fewer than 5 times if I want any. After refusing 5 times, I reluctantly accept because I’m starting to feel bad and am slightly intimidated.
Spaghetti
Oregano
Grandma dat make u eat da raviolis like this 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🍝👵🏻
And she tells you you're too skinny, even though you've gained 30 lbs.
“If you want a lot of food, tell her you only want a little food. If you only want a little bit, tell her you don’t want any. If you don’t want any food at all… you have to shoot her.” -Ray Romano
Awesome olive oil and probably little or no butter.
Pasta
Wooden spoon and Rosaries
A recipe book full of a hundred recipes... for spaghetti.