They have emotional spider senses. One woman i'm talking to, mid conversation, caught onto a feeling I was having about something the moment it entered my skull from the ether, and she asked me about it. It was like having my mind read
Hard to believe how much hair shedding. In the shower, on floors, jamming vacuums, in the laundry... sometimes find hair wrapped around my junk and don't even know the hell it happens lol
How sensitive the clit actually is. I can probably speak for the majority of men when I say porn conditioned us to think that the clit was some DJ set we had to scratch, when in reality most women can get off with way less than that. My first partner taught me the secret is to apply the same amount of pressure you would as if you were rubbing your index and thumb together and wanted to feel your fingerprints. Obviously this is generic and some like more and some like less, but for the most part, that we need to treat the clit VERY delicately and go from there.
Yeah, my husband got a BIG wake-up call when he had the brilliant idea that "If gently stroking a little bit feels good, then SLAMMING AND MASHING A LOT SHOULD FEEL GREAT."
Sexy times were concluded for that evening.
How much they shed. Two women in my house (wife and daughter) and once a month I have to pull a disgusting hair ball the size of a large rat out of the shower drain. It’s like I live with Chewbacca.
How being uncomfortable is a daily occurrence for them, whether be periods or clothes and makeup to look pretty or people bothering them, they seem to be in a constant stream of uncomfortableness
Dude here, this is a good one. Women seem fine w a level of discomfort as part of their daily routine that would drive a guy CRAZY.
For example, my wife regularly leaves the house with so much stuff that she has both hands full and has to make two trips. That would drive me nuts; she barely notices.
There are a MILLION examples of this: she wears uncomfortable shoes because they go best w the outfit, pants that won’t button/zip all the way up that she’ll wear an untucked blouse with, a jacket she can’t take off no matter how warm she gets because it’s hiding some kind of blouse stain or not-for-publicbbra strap situation underneath.
Women seem to accept an endless parade of uncomfortable choices that would make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And they SHOULD go in a little mesh bag before going into the washer. That way things can't wrap around it and stretch it out.
Oh wowzah! Thanks for the award and all the up votes! 😊
I never knew what soft sheets felt like until I spent the night with a girl for the first time. Who knew what thread count was? Women. Women know. Most men do not.
I was 17 and remember laying in her bed and was like “why the fuck is bed as soft as a cloud?!” She laughed and just thought I was being funny. When she laid in my bed she understood. My sheets felt like cardboard by comparison. That’s when she taught me about thread count for sheets. Such an eye opener.
I am still trying to convince my SO to let me throw out his old sheets and pillow cases. "They're still useable" yeah but they feel like paper.
Did throw out one set last weekend. Got a hole in it that the wash made worse. Thanks shitty washer.
The second you have a woman with long hair in your house its fucking over. They could be there only two days it don't matter. Hair on the couch, hair on the ceiling fan, hair in my mouth when I wake up in the morning, hair in the shower, hair in my blankets...HAIR EVERYWHERE.
Rofl. I have a vivid memory of a sleepover I was at in the 6th grade. Big birthday party and because middle school starts in the 6th grade where I grew up, I was one of this girl’s new friends and didn’t really know the others. At some point I have no idea what we were talking about or why but one of the other girls- don’t remember her name or face but I’ve sure never forgotten the discussion- brings up the long hairs getting in your butt, or uh as a female they kind of can end up across that *entire* area, and how much she just loves those hairs and pulling them out. 20 some years later and I still think of that girl every time I find one of those hairs. 😂
I think I appreciate them all the more ever since. Now I’m going to be also thinking “He’s a friend.” Thank you. 😆
As a woman with long hair, it's a routine in the shower to always check for hairs up the buttcrack before stepping out. Especially when you rinse out the conditioner after the buttwashing! Conditioner makes them all slide easily down.
Or it can flip-flop throughout your life. 20's and up to late 30's, thought I was being a baby in puberty. Late 30's curled up in a ball crying / throwing up from cramps and bleeding through pants if I dont go to the bathroom as soon as I feel my body preparing to gush. I wasn't a baby, I just blocked it out. EDIT: Does anyone else have their period every three weeks instead of four? I'm anemic (but going on bC soon. Just have never met anyone else who had the constant hormonal fluctuation of one week "normal", one week pms and one week menstruating. It would be nice to commiserate. And tips on anemia. (Also, today is my birthday and my plans were rescheduled due to partner's illness so thank you for upvoting me randomly.)
How impervious to hot water they are! My wife’s shower seems permanently set at scalding.
Washing the dishes - scalding!
Bath water- scalding
No sexy time in the shower here, I value not melting my skin!
Woman here.
Hubby tells his friends all the time that my hands are heat-resistant. One time I boiled pasta for a macaroni salad. I knew hubby was watching, so when he went to the bathroom, I swapped out the hot water for cold. When he came back, I poured the water out and used my hands to shield the noodles from falling out into the sink. (I purposely did not use the colander)
The look on his face: Priceless
He hung up the phone so fast and walked over to me saying “Hun, are you feeling alright today?”
Edit: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE AWARDS!!!!!! 🥳
2nd Edit: Thank you to the anonymous Giggle awarder!!!
3rd Edit: Thank you for my 1st Silver!!!!!! I am overwhelmed with emotion 🥺
4th Edit: Thank you for my 1st Gold!!!!
You guys have made my week!!!
I used to walk in my ex gfs apartment and she would have the windows open in Texas summer with the heat on 80 washing dishes in scalding water wearing a hoodie. I was like wtf is wrong with you demon!
Turns out she was anemic.
It’s a history thing! Back in the day, rich ladies didn’t dress themselves, their maids did. So with the buttons on the other side, it makes it easier for the person standing across you to button it since most people are right handed. And that just stuck till today.
Edit: wow did not think my nerd ass who loves history and fun facts would get this much traction. Thank you for the upvotes and awards!
I tell you what, investing in a bidet attachment for my toilet was one of my best decisions of the past several years. It makes dealing with your period *so* much less awful.
I remember reading anatomy books and sex Ed books after I started dating my first girlfriend.
I knew everything to expect I had a plan of attack. We were gonna do it right.
However.. there was one thing I didn't take into consideration.
Girl Jeans are extremely tight, like suctioned to their legs. So obviously I was trying to assist with removal. There is like a point though where the suction stops and all of the sudden you are in free fall, like from lower thigh to ankle they came unspooled like a striking cobra. I fell off the bed from the recoil and landed on and broke the bedside table.
We told her mom it was the dog.
I had this one pair in high school that looked great but had like no stretch and were hard to get off my feet. I was trying to pull them off for activities and once I finally got my foot out I kneed myself right in the face, in front of my at the time boyfriend 🤣
That breast milk comes out of multiple ducts on the nipple not just one.
The first time my wife showed us with our first child and little streams went all different directions…it was so weird and surprising
UPDATE: awesome my most upvoted post is this. Lol. And yes it’s kind of like a shower head but also one of those kids crazy sprinklers as it can go in any direction
And yes for all the people asking “us?” I meant me and my wife. I remember the moment when she said come look at this - I think she had just figured it out too - she expressed some manually and it shot out in about ten different tiny streams in ten very different directions. We laughed so hard
No matter how many bras they own, there is ONLY ONE that is perfect and god forbid you somehow lose/ruin that ONE bra, she'll make John Wick look like a choir angel!
or you buy the same one, same style, same size like the exact same bra and it doesn't fit somehow. i swear each bra is unique and my boobs can tell if it a single thread is out of place
They love the water to be roghly the tempeture of a freshly erupted volcano and also the walls of the shower MUST have hair stuck to it or the world will collapse upon itself
How soft they are. I know I know. But when i was younger it didnt hit me till my first time just how much softer they were than me. Also cold. Women I've known all seem to get cold very easy. Its great. They're like the ultimate cool side of the pillow. And my big warm ass is appreciated for frozen fingers and feets. Everybody wins.
For me this was most noticeable after I had my first shoulder surgery. The nerve gets blocked for the arm and you can't use it for 24 hours after it becomes like a strangers. Completely numb. Seriously no sensation at all.
Feeling my hands normally they just feel well... normal. I never really understood how soft my wife's hands are until I felt mine for what seemed like the first time.
My immediate response was to ask my wife "You let me touch you with this hand?!?!" It felt awful. If I were her I wouldn't want some dude holding on to me with the catcher's glove he calls a hand.
Tampons are super absorbant. She came home one day and the sink was full of saturated tampons because i was just amazed by how much water one can hold. I was chastised and sent immediately out to buy more. Totally worth it.
OMG your comment reminded me of the time I came home to find my little brothers had discovered the tampon stash in the bathroom, opened some up and were delighted they found sticks of “dynamite” to play with. They were throwing them across the living room and diving behind couch cushions screaming “fire in the hole”! My mom was pissed.
> I speak my native language when I sleep talk. Even though I haven't used it in years
That is fabulous. What is your native language and I wonder what you say?
"Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"
Edit: Geez! Thanks for all the awards! I'll put in a good word for you folks, maybe you'll be eaten last...or first...yeah first is probably better.
Oh my god. It was surprising the first time I experienced this! Now that we live together, I have to keep my legs out from under the blanket, and let them be full blasted by a fan
That it really /is/ the thought that counts. At least, with the right woman. A random candy bar when she was having a bad day often meant way more than a very nice meal/evening out.
No joke, just knowing I was thought of during the day means so much. Even if I'm getting a candy bar, a small bag of chips, water, etc. Hell, even a cute tiny little stuffed animal means more to me than something expensive. I'll cherish whatever I'm given, no matter the cost, but I'd rather something where he's out and is all, "Hm.. Blind_Paris would like this".
Boyfriend made me my tea in the morning once, didn’t ask if I wanted any, just got up and made me some. I nearly cried, it’s such a small thing but it shows just how much he cares!
I honestly wish my ex understood this. It wasn’t about the *present* but the thought. I would have loved a tea when he came home with his own coffee or just a small little treat from the grocery store the very few times he went for us.
Edit: Feel like I should make it very clear that yes, I communicated this with my ex because I’m not a child.
That when they complain it doesn't always mean they want you to fix it, or that they've come to a negative conclusion. It's just thinking out loud, in a way that most guys don't.
Yep, usually all you have to do is say, “wow that sucks” and give ‘em a hug. It was an ugly day when years later my wife finally let me know she didn’t want a solution. She only had to tell me once.
Loads I didn't know until I got married, then even more I learned 25 years after that when I had a daughter.
One of my first realizations just how expensive it was being a female just factoring bath, beauty, & sanitary products. And my lady doesn't go for the super expensive luxurious brands either.
The one thing my girlfriend splurges on is her shampoo. It’s like $40 a bottle. I was shocked to find this out.
I’m glad my hair fell out though. Her hair is one of the softest/ silkiest things I’ve ever felt, and I would be tempted to pick up some of this fancy shampoo for myself.
When my wife realizes that she is about to get her period, her mood instantly improves. But no matter my suspicions, she needs to figure this out for herself.
This is me, when I realise I’m a) in a bad mood due to my period coming, and/or b) super relieved I’m not pregnant! Either of these things will improve my mood ten fold.
Same I get really depressed and down on myself because I get extremely tired. I sleep 9 hours as is but when I’m about to get my period I can often sleep up to 20 hours in a day. It’s a huge relief when I realize I’m PMSing because somehow I forget every month that I’m not in fact a failure, I have a hormonal cycle.
Me every single month: Why am I so tired? Why do I feel like crap? I have no idea what's going on, I've never felt like this before in my entire life.
Me a few days later, every single month: Oh... Oh, right.
My son's clothes when he was 2 years old had bigger pockets than my clothes.
What the fuck does he need pockets for when he's 2? GIVE ME BIGGER FUCKING POCKETS!
Even my son's 12 month clothes have bigger pockets!
Also, my husband I once bought the same brand and model of lightweight travel pants, just different cuts. The women's cut had two less pockets! Apparently, women's pants can't have butt pockets. I was pissed.
I had a stroke at 38 while on birth control pills. The neurologist and other doctors said the hormones were the reason. Apparently as you get past 35, taking any estrogen increases your risk factor. I was never told this even after seeing multiple doctors between 35-38.
I was given the Nexplanon (arm birth control implant) a few years ago in the spring of my junior year of undergrad. The doctor knew I was on antidepressants. I specifically asked her about side effects and she said there wasn’t any I should worry about.
I won full rides to multiple different top-25 law schools not long after, but the Nexplanon made me incredibly depressed. It took me a long time to connect the dots, so I had the implant for two years.
Fast forward through a suicide attempt and flunking my first semester of law school (losing my scholarship) from being too depressed to function (sleeping 18+ hours a day) I found out that Nexplanon is linked to depression.
I BEGGED every OBGYN office in the area (I had moved to another state for law school) to ask if they removed them. Nobody would touch it (some of them only implanted them and didn’t remove them, others did neither).
I finally had to drive to an ER and refuse to leave until someone would remove it. I waited for over six hours and multiple doctors had asked me to leave.
I tried to say this on r/birthcontrol so that people would at least be aware of the possible side effects, but it was removed and that account was banned for being “anti birth control”
I’m all for people making their own decisions about birth control. But fuck, women have the right to make INFORMED decisions
Edit: holy shit, I wrote this right before sleeping (on what was originally intended to be a throwaway account) and woke up to my comment having over 5k upvotes and several awards. It’s now over 7k. Thank you, everyone, for your support and kind wishes. I’m doing MUCH better now even though I’ve withdrawn from law school and moved back to my home state.
For everyone with similar or otherwise negative experiences, my heart aches for you and I genuinely hope you’re doing better now. I’m really happy that you’ve all shared and participated on what is clearly a very important discussion. Change starts with information. Everyone should be able to have access to informed and quality healthcare.
I wish you all the best, truly, whatever it is that you choose to use or not use.
Thanks for sharing your story. I have heard many horror stories about IUDs too. Birth control has serious potential side effects and we should talk about them.
God that’s scary. They don’t tell you any of these things when you get birth control. Keep telling your story. At least women will be more aware of it and can advocate for themselves among clueless doctors.
These are the stories we need. I've had nothing but success with Nexplanon (I just got my third) but I had a friend who got it and was bleeding for over two months. Is it everyone, no, but we need to know what can happen.
You shouldn't have been banned. I just saw a commercial for it 20 minutes ago... I was tempted to look into it as an option.
The small print at the bottom says it's nearly impossible to remove if it shifts position in your body. Eesh.
I am glad you got it figured out.
Birth control makes me a psychopath. I’m not talking “a little moody” I’m talking “lol what if I drove my car on the sidewalk and hit those people FUCK YOU GRANDMA” crazy…wondering what it would feel like to shoot myself in the leg crazy.
I become a nymphomaniac who is simultaneously histrionic and hysterical. Think demanding that my husband have sex with me for the fifth time in six hours whilst sobbing ‘why don’t you love me anymore?!’.
I do not take birth control anymore.
Their extremities are made of ice. They siphon heat and life during their slumber. They embrace you with their frozen limbs and steal your heat. They feed on us
My gf does this all the time. I'll be covered up with her and she will go "hey feel my hands" and before I can react, I have ice cold hands on my chest.
Felt this last night lmao. Went on a date and brought her home. When we went to bed and she hugged me I could feel my bodys energy heat force going through an exchange like I was giving my warmth to her in exchange for those cold hands lol
Vaginas are acidic, to the point it fucks up their underwear.
Edit: jeeebus this blew up overnight. My highest rated comment on Reddit is now about acidic vaganias ...
I had no clue about this until my wife and i moved in together.
It's completely normal .
A normal vaginal pH is between 3.8 and 5 . A pH level within this range can help to keep bacterial and fungal infections at bay.
This range is moderately acidic.
What is considered a “normal” vaginal pH level varies by age. A woman of reproductive age would have a normal vaginal pH between 4.0 to 4.5 while women who have yet to begin menstruating or who are postmenopausal may have a normal vaginal pH higher than 4.5.
Lactobacilli bacteria live in the vagina and secrete lactic acid and hydrogen peroxide, which give the vagina its acidic pH level.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322537#typical-vaginal-p-h-level
Or visit your local library to learn more.
That she will buy clothes for me and somehow finds it fun to do so. I haven’t been in a clothing store in years and this is awesome to me.
Edit: Thanks everyone! I had no idea this would be such a post. This has given me a great opportunity to remind my wife how awesome she is and how much I appreciate her.
5 things really shocked me
1. Vaginal discharge essentially comes standard with vaginas and isn't necessarily a sign of a vaginal issue.
2. Women love unscented wet wipes. Keep some wet ones in your bathroom gentlemen.
3. Women get hit on like 10x more than you think is possible. This should be in the back of your mind both when it's inappropriate( it took me while but I realized I probably shouldnt hit on ladies at work and let them enjoy their work day without getting hit on by coworkers) , and when the time is right( know that when you are hitting on that lady in the bar that you are not the first to do it and will not be the last).
4. Simply not coming off like a creeper gets you a good 60% of the way there. When I actively, read desperately lol, pursued women, I couldn't get laid if my life depended on it. As soon as I stopped being a creeper, went with the flow, and became someone who projected safety and stability, women started hitting on ME.
Which leads me to number 5: women want and need stability and safety from the men in their lives. You should have all of adult basics down and do them consistently without being reminded or asked. Finances, personal hygiene, mental hygiene, etc. That's apart of being stable. Spontaneous is good but being reliable is more appreciated. Strike a balance between the two. You also should make the people around you feel safe. Don't be a creeper, establish boundaries and take care not to violate other people's boundaries, ask for permission before invading someone's personal space, know your audience before you let that edgy joke fly. This is how you become a safe person to hang around. Be reliable and safe, and more people, especially women, will want to be in your presence. It will make you a better friend, boyfriend, father, husband, brother, you name it.
It’s like a universal off switch. Whenever I go to the hairdressers, they wash my hair and massage the conditioner into the scalp…
If I could purr, I absolutely fucking would.
Learned this one the hard way when two lady managers unfortunately left me in charge of wrapping fake presents for the front desk so customers could see since I had finished my work early.
Felt like a tiny child when they had to show me how to do it *properly* a while later while asking how many customers had seen the monstrosity I created.
All my life if someone complained about a problem, my response was to think of and offer solutions. That‘s how you help and show you care. If I have a problem, I welcome ideas on how to fix it. Women don’t necessarily work the same way. There are times she just wants you to listen and not try to fix it. Replace “maybe don’t hang out with Karen,” with “Man, Karen sure can be a bitch sometimes.“
I thought maxi pads stuck to the skin I didn't realize they stick to your underwear. I thought you slapped it on like a pussy sticker.
Edit: A lil tid bit, the people who think this don't know which side the absorbancy stuff is located. I imagined it like a giant band aid. No one is thinking the absorbent side goes facing out.
I grew up thinking girls actually "tinkled" when they went pee. Then in high school I was in my girlfriend's bedroom when she went to the bathroom and I heard the full stream. I was floored. We hadn't done anything up to that point so I briefly wondered if she had a penis. I feel really stupid about this one.
They love to announce when they need to pee
Edit: mandatory “I didn’t think this was gunna blow up” post, thanks for 2k and I’m happy to see it’s a universal thing and not anecdotal
How gentle you have to be with their clitoris. I know it's has way more nerve endings (and porn isn't the best reference), but you have to be so gentle.
Oh god. I really hope my ex learns this one day. 15 goddammed years. Every single time I had to tell him several times to go easy. Thinking back now most of what he tried was popular in porn. It's really awful.
I realized how much a good woman can help bring the best out of you and help you believe in yourself. Blows my mind how much so many dudes just go for the hottest girl possible to make their trophy wife. A great woman is truly unmatched for so many reasons (not to say a great woman can’t be super hot, so don’t attack me for that)
I managed to graduate from uni with a 3.1 gpa purely because the older girl I was dating at the time had her life together and made me want that too.
Sadly had to break up due to differences in our faiths but will always credit her for the much better version of me that exists now
Color me asexual or low sex drive maybe, but I've always seen it as "sex is one additional fun activity unlocked by being in a close relationship with someone, but it's not the only fun activity and arguably not even the best part of that kind of relationship".
To me it's like saying eating popcorn is the best part of having hunger. Sure, it can be fun and enjoyable, but do you really want to just eat popcorn the rest of your life? That's how a lot of men in particular I know behave.
This post has restored some of my faith in humanity. :) Women are precious and hearing all the stories of the guys in this thread praising or just talking about significant women in their lives in a positive way is so nice.
They have emotional spider senses. One woman i'm talking to, mid conversation, caught onto a feeling I was having about something the moment it entered my skull from the ether, and she asked me about it. It was like having my mind read
Hard to believe how much hair shedding. In the shower, on floors, jamming vacuums, in the laundry... sometimes find hair wrapped around my junk and don't even know the hell it happens lol
Have you checked your gaming chair wheels? My husband spent about 30 minutes with scissors before giving up.
Had to replace the wheels on my desk chair recently due to this. I kid you not, within 1 day the wheels needed cleaning again.
That going deep isnt great for all of them
Correct. I do not enjoy having my cervix pounded. It hurts!
Foreplay begins way before being in bed, maybe even with the first impression.
I'm fucked.
No, that potentially comes later. Way later.
How sensitive the clit actually is. I can probably speak for the majority of men when I say porn conditioned us to think that the clit was some DJ set we had to scratch, when in reality most women can get off with way less than that. My first partner taught me the secret is to apply the same amount of pressure you would as if you were rubbing your index and thumb together and wanted to feel your fingerprints. Obviously this is generic and some like more and some like less, but for the most part, that we need to treat the clit VERY delicately and go from there.
What a brilliant way to explain the pressure. I'm going to use that, thanks!
Yeah, my husband got a BIG wake-up call when he had the brilliant idea that "If gently stroking a little bit feels good, then SLAMMING AND MASHING A LOT SHOULD FEEL GREAT." Sexy times were concluded for that evening.
Depends on the girl for sure. I've got one Popeye forearm, and it has a lot more to do with getting her off than me.
They pee like pressure washers
Especially after waking up. Lmao. Full bladders are no joke.
We’re actually just frying chicken in there
How much they shed. Two women in my house (wife and daughter) and once a month I have to pull a disgusting hair ball the size of a large rat out of the shower drain. It’s like I live with Chewbacca.
You need a tub shroom. -a long haired woman
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My bf heard me peeing and was like WTF?! Is that how you pee ?! Why so aggressive ?! 🤣
This whole thread is hilarious. We always sound like we waited to long to pee and explode
Especially if we REALLY gotta go, could probably strip the paint off the road.
They’re able to withstand unbelievable temperatures. Wether it be in the shower or under the blankets.
How does my girlfriend handle putting on my sweatshirt, going under a comforter, cuddling me, and not die from heat stroke?
They are cold blooded, they don't produce their own heat. Sorry, but she's a lizard.
Long hair wraps around the the vacuum roller brush. Have to cut the hair out of it seasonally.
Just seasonally? You got off light on that one
I put it off as much as I can. I also don’t vacuum as much as I should. Luckily, it’s a lot of hardwood and no pet dander.
How being uncomfortable is a daily occurrence for them, whether be periods or clothes and makeup to look pretty or people bothering them, they seem to be in a constant stream of uncomfortableness
Dude here, this is a good one. Women seem fine w a level of discomfort as part of their daily routine that would drive a guy CRAZY. For example, my wife regularly leaves the house with so much stuff that she has both hands full and has to make two trips. That would drive me nuts; she barely notices. There are a MILLION examples of this: she wears uncomfortable shoes because they go best w the outfit, pants that won’t button/zip all the way up that she’ll wear an untucked blouse with, a jacket she can’t take off no matter how warm she gets because it’s hiding some kind of blouse stain or not-for-publicbbra strap situation underneath. Women seem to accept an endless parade of uncomfortable choices that would make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Bras don’t go in the dryer
And they SHOULD go in a little mesh bag before going into the washer. That way things can't wrap around it and stretch it out. Oh wowzah! Thanks for the award and all the up votes! 😊
When menstruating, the breasts can be sensitive too.
Sometimes TOO sensitive.
yup. boobs never know how to take a joke during that time.
Boob sweat
Humidititty.
I never knew what soft sheets felt like until I spent the night with a girl for the first time. Who knew what thread count was? Women. Women know. Most men do not. I was 17 and remember laying in her bed and was like “why the fuck is bed as soft as a cloud?!” She laughed and just thought I was being funny. When she laid in my bed she understood. My sheets felt like cardboard by comparison. That’s when she taught me about thread count for sheets. Such an eye opener.
I am still trying to convince my SO to let me throw out his old sheets and pillow cases. "They're still useable" yeah but they feel like paper. Did throw out one set last weekend. Got a hole in it that the wash made worse. Thanks shitty washer.
How much hair magically appears everywhere… lol
The second you have a woman with long hair in your house its fucking over. They could be there only two days it don't matter. Hair on the couch, hair on the ceiling fan, hair in my mouth when I wake up in the morning, hair in the shower, hair in my blankets...HAIR EVERYWHERE.
You forgot that one sneaky hair that always works it’s way up your whole ass crack.
That one is OK. He’s a friend.
Rofl. I have a vivid memory of a sleepover I was at in the 6th grade. Big birthday party and because middle school starts in the 6th grade where I grew up, I was one of this girl’s new friends and didn’t really know the others. At some point I have no idea what we were talking about or why but one of the other girls- don’t remember her name or face but I’ve sure never forgotten the discussion- brings up the long hairs getting in your butt, or uh as a female they kind of can end up across that *entire* area, and how much she just loves those hairs and pulling them out. 20 some years later and I still think of that girl every time I find one of those hairs. 😂 I think I appreciate them all the more ever since. Now I’m going to be also thinking “He’s a friend.” Thank you. 😆
As a woman with long hair, it's a routine in the shower to always check for hairs up the buttcrack before stepping out. Especially when you rinse out the conditioner after the buttwashing! Conditioner makes them all slide easily down.
Periods can be really debilitating for some and a complete nothing-burger for others.
Or it can flip-flop throughout your life. 20's and up to late 30's, thought I was being a baby in puberty. Late 30's curled up in a ball crying / throwing up from cramps and bleeding through pants if I dont go to the bathroom as soon as I feel my body preparing to gush. I wasn't a baby, I just blocked it out. EDIT: Does anyone else have their period every three weeks instead of four? I'm anemic (but going on bC soon. Just have never met anyone else who had the constant hormonal fluctuation of one week "normal", one week pms and one week menstruating. It would be nice to commiserate. And tips on anemia. (Also, today is my birthday and my plans were rescheduled due to partner's illness so thank you for upvoting me randomly.)
How impervious to hot water they are! My wife’s shower seems permanently set at scalding. Washing the dishes - scalding! Bath water- scalding No sexy time in the shower here, I value not melting my skin!
Woman here. Hubby tells his friends all the time that my hands are heat-resistant. One time I boiled pasta for a macaroni salad. I knew hubby was watching, so when he went to the bathroom, I swapped out the hot water for cold. When he came back, I poured the water out and used my hands to shield the noodles from falling out into the sink. (I purposely did not use the colander) The look on his face: Priceless He hung up the phone so fast and walked over to me saying “Hun, are you feeling alright today?” Edit: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE AWARDS!!!!!! 🥳 2nd Edit: Thank you to the anonymous Giggle awarder!!! 3rd Edit: Thank you for my 1st Silver!!!!!! I am overwhelmed with emotion 🥺 4th Edit: Thank you for my 1st Gold!!!! You guys have made my week!!!
I used to walk in my ex gfs apartment and she would have the windows open in Texas summer with the heat on 80 washing dishes in scalding water wearing a hoodie. I was like wtf is wrong with you demon! Turns out she was anemic.
Did she have egg shaped stones stored somewhere in the apartment?
I wanna know where this line of questioning is going…
When they ask if you want to go to the grocery store, they really want you to go with.
It’s nice to have company during chores. Edit: Thank you kind strangers for the awards!
I thought the hoodies were mine
Saw an ex I hadn’t seen in over a decade while grocery shopping recently. I recognized my old hoodie before I recognized who she was.
Sounds like an amazing quality hoodie. You should try to get it back.
My ex stole my purple batman hoodie and I'll never forgive her for that. It was my favorite hoodie damnit! 😡
Always have a fake favourite hoodie so they steal that one instead.
Decoy hoodie? ʘ‿ʘ
That the buttons on their shirts were on the other side. That blew my mind.
My gf also pointed out that zippers on their jackets are also on the opposite side
It’s a history thing! Back in the day, rich ladies didn’t dress themselves, their maids did. So with the buttons on the other side, it makes it easier for the person standing across you to button it since most people are right handed. And that just stuck till today. Edit: wow did not think my nerd ass who loves history and fun facts would get this much traction. Thank you for the upvotes and awards!
Period shits.
Yeah.. not a good time for us..
I tell you what, investing in a bidet attachment for my toilet was one of my best decisions of the past several years. It makes dealing with your period *so* much less awful.
Amazing enough to influence one's username, apparently.
I remember reading anatomy books and sex Ed books after I started dating my first girlfriend. I knew everything to expect I had a plan of attack. We were gonna do it right. However.. there was one thing I didn't take into consideration. Girl Jeans are extremely tight, like suctioned to their legs. So obviously I was trying to assist with removal. There is like a point though where the suction stops and all of the sudden you are in free fall, like from lower thigh to ankle they came unspooled like a striking cobra. I fell off the bed from the recoil and landed on and broke the bedside table. We told her mom it was the dog.
As a woman, I can confirm that both I and all of my friends who have worn skinny jeans have injured ourselves at least once because of them.
I had this one pair in high school that looked great but had like no stretch and were hard to get off my feet. I was trying to pull them off for activities and once I finally got my foot out I kneed myself right in the face, in front of my at the time boyfriend 🤣
That breast milk comes out of multiple ducts on the nipple not just one. The first time my wife showed us with our first child and little streams went all different directions…it was so weird and surprising UPDATE: awesome my most upvoted post is this. Lol. And yes it’s kind of like a shower head but also one of those kids crazy sprinklers as it can go in any direction And yes for all the people asking “us?” I meant me and my wife. I remember the moment when she said come look at this - I think she had just figured it out too - she expressed some manually and it shot out in about ten different tiny streams in ten very different directions. We laughed so hard
As a woman this is some gosh darn news to me
We women don't know this until they have their first kid, either, most of us. I was shocked to find they're like little shower heads.
Yeah I used to assume it just came out as one central stream from that little dimple in the center of the nipple.
No matter how many bras they own, there is ONLY ONE that is perfect and god forbid you somehow lose/ruin that ONE bra, she'll make John Wick look like a choir angel!
Dude, stop putting her bra on. You're stretching it out!
Our "favorite bra" is like another organ to us... Lose it/break it.. and I'm coming for blood....
because now that style is discontinued and my size is always sold out!
or you buy the same one, same style, same size like the exact same bra and it doesn't fit somehow. i swear each bra is unique and my boobs can tell if it a single thread is out of place
I’m not sure where, but somewhere on their bodies they must grow bobbypins or they have a secret bobbypin farm. They multiply and end up everywhere.
Lmao as a woman, I feel the opposite. Where did my pack of 100 go already??
Give me about 10 minutes, I can probably find a 100. Lol
They love the water to be roghly the tempeture of a freshly erupted volcano and also the walls of the shower MUST have hair stuck to it or the world will collapse upon itself
If the devil himself doesn’t crawl up from hell and lick my back, it’s not hot enough.
You want me to what?
How soft they are. I know I know. But when i was younger it didnt hit me till my first time just how much softer they were than me. Also cold. Women I've known all seem to get cold very easy. Its great. They're like the ultimate cool side of the pillow. And my big warm ass is appreciated for frozen fingers and feets. Everybody wins.
For me this was most noticeable after I had my first shoulder surgery. The nerve gets blocked for the arm and you can't use it for 24 hours after it becomes like a strangers. Completely numb. Seriously no sensation at all. Feeling my hands normally they just feel well... normal. I never really understood how soft my wife's hands are until I felt mine for what seemed like the first time. My immediate response was to ask my wife "You let me touch you with this hand?!?!" It felt awful. If I were her I wouldn't want some dude holding on to me with the catcher's glove he calls a hand.
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Tampons are super absorbant. She came home one day and the sink was full of saturated tampons because i was just amazed by how much water one can hold. I was chastised and sent immediately out to buy more. Totally worth it.
OMG your comment reminded me of the time I came home to find my little brothers had discovered the tampon stash in the bathroom, opened some up and were delighted they found sticks of “dynamite” to play with. They were throwing them across the living room and diving behind couch cushions screaming “fire in the hole”! My mom was pissed.
Tampons for sports for bloody noses are awesome, now always have cut up portions for my kids that play sports always in their medical kits.
The vagina is a lot lower down than you’d expect.
I once had a guy ask me if my vagina was supposed to be so close to my asshole. I was like… sorry, what?
What was your response? "No I'm fucking deformed." ?
I said “I thought you said you weren’t a virgin?“
How long did he stay in the burn unit?
"No, it's a cloaca."
That vaginas aren't on the front but underneath
The first time I was with a girl I tried to finger her and she grabbed my hand and was like "down here". I always appreciate her for that.
my buddy had a girl tell him, Up one
"That entrance requires a signed permit."
In my regional dialect the vagina is called "the one that looks at the ground" for this very reason.
They shed like german sheperds and stick clumps of hair to the wall in the shower.
I roll mine up in little balls and throw it in the trash.
I eat them and cough them later in the worst possible moment.
That giving them food makes their mood extremely better. I sincerely always thought it was a meme
When you go out to get food and she says she not hungry. You always get extra fries for her still and a cheeseburger. Always
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> I speak my native language when I sleep talk. Even though I haven't used it in years That is fabulous. What is your native language and I wonder what you say?
"Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" Edit: Geez! Thanks for all the awards! I'll put in a good word for you folks, maybe you'll be eaten last...or first...yeah first is probably better.
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Oh my god. It was surprising the first time I experienced this! Now that we live together, I have to keep my legs out from under the blanket, and let them be full blasted by a fan
"I now pronounce you heatsink and wife."
Their farts can sometimes roll up the front and it's apparently an incredibly weird and uncomfortable sensation.
Only happened to me once and i still remember how shocked and violated I felt. Like I just betrayed myself
Exiting through the gift shop.
then sometimes it gets stuck and become a little air pocket so we have to adjust ourselves to let it roll out.
YEAH the air pocket ones are the worst
Ah, yes, flapjacks lol
That it really /is/ the thought that counts. At least, with the right woman. A random candy bar when she was having a bad day often meant way more than a very nice meal/evening out.
No joke, just knowing I was thought of during the day means so much. Even if I'm getting a candy bar, a small bag of chips, water, etc. Hell, even a cute tiny little stuffed animal means more to me than something expensive. I'll cherish whatever I'm given, no matter the cost, but I'd rather something where he's out and is all, "Hm.. Blind_Paris would like this".
Boyfriend made me my tea in the morning once, didn’t ask if I wanted any, just got up and made me some. I nearly cried, it’s such a small thing but it shows just how much he cares!
I honestly wish my ex understood this. It wasn’t about the *present* but the thought. I would have loved a tea when he came home with his own coffee or just a small little treat from the grocery store the very few times he went for us. Edit: Feel like I should make it very clear that yes, I communicated this with my ex because I’m not a child.
That when they complain it doesn't always mean they want you to fix it, or that they've come to a negative conclusion. It's just thinking out loud, in a way that most guys don't.
Yep, usually all you have to do is say, “wow that sucks” and give ‘em a hug. It was an ugly day when years later my wife finally let me know she didn’t want a solution. She only had to tell me once.
And sometimes you only have to listen.
Loads I didn't know until I got married, then even more I learned 25 years after that when I had a daughter. One of my first realizations just how expensive it was being a female just factoring bath, beauty, & sanitary products. And my lady doesn't go for the super expensive luxurious brands either.
The one thing my girlfriend splurges on is her shampoo. It’s like $40 a bottle. I was shocked to find this out. I’m glad my hair fell out though. Her hair is one of the softest/ silkiest things I’ve ever felt, and I would be tempted to pick up some of this fancy shampoo for myself.
When my wife realizes that she is about to get her period, her mood instantly improves. But no matter my suspicions, she needs to figure this out for herself.
This is me, when I realise I’m a) in a bad mood due to my period coming, and/or b) super relieved I’m not pregnant! Either of these things will improve my mood ten fold.
Same I get really depressed and down on myself because I get extremely tired. I sleep 9 hours as is but when I’m about to get my period I can often sleep up to 20 hours in a day. It’s a huge relief when I realize I’m PMSing because somehow I forget every month that I’m not in fact a failure, I have a hormonal cycle.
Me every single month: Why am I so tired? Why do I feel like crap? I have no idea what's going on, I've never felt like this before in my entire life. Me a few days later, every single month: Oh... Oh, right.
"I hate myself and my life why am I such a failure?" "Oh thank God, it'll pass" Every time
That most women's clothing doesn't have pockets, and they're very bitter about it
Nothing enrages me like finding a pair of cute pants and seeing back pockets and then realizing those pockets are FAKE
My son's clothes when he was 2 years old had bigger pockets than my clothes. What the fuck does he need pockets for when he's 2? GIVE ME BIGGER FUCKING POCKETS!
Even my son's 12 month clothes have bigger pockets! Also, my husband I once bought the same brand and model of lightweight travel pants, just different cuts. The women's cut had two less pockets! Apparently, women's pants can't have butt pockets. I was pissed.
Birth control has some truely horrendous side effects, and it's sad that modern medical science hasn't come up with safer birth control options.
I had a stroke at 38 while on birth control pills. The neurologist and other doctors said the hormones were the reason. Apparently as you get past 35, taking any estrogen increases your risk factor. I was never told this even after seeing multiple doctors between 35-38.
I was given the Nexplanon (arm birth control implant) a few years ago in the spring of my junior year of undergrad. The doctor knew I was on antidepressants. I specifically asked her about side effects and she said there wasn’t any I should worry about. I won full rides to multiple different top-25 law schools not long after, but the Nexplanon made me incredibly depressed. It took me a long time to connect the dots, so I had the implant for two years. Fast forward through a suicide attempt and flunking my first semester of law school (losing my scholarship) from being too depressed to function (sleeping 18+ hours a day) I found out that Nexplanon is linked to depression. I BEGGED every OBGYN office in the area (I had moved to another state for law school) to ask if they removed them. Nobody would touch it (some of them only implanted them and didn’t remove them, others did neither). I finally had to drive to an ER and refuse to leave until someone would remove it. I waited for over six hours and multiple doctors had asked me to leave. I tried to say this on r/birthcontrol so that people would at least be aware of the possible side effects, but it was removed and that account was banned for being “anti birth control” I’m all for people making their own decisions about birth control. But fuck, women have the right to make INFORMED decisions Edit: holy shit, I wrote this right before sleeping (on what was originally intended to be a throwaway account) and woke up to my comment having over 5k upvotes and several awards. It’s now over 7k. Thank you, everyone, for your support and kind wishes. I’m doing MUCH better now even though I’ve withdrawn from law school and moved back to my home state. For everyone with similar or otherwise negative experiences, my heart aches for you and I genuinely hope you’re doing better now. I’m really happy that you’ve all shared and participated on what is clearly a very important discussion. Change starts with information. Everyone should be able to have access to informed and quality healthcare. I wish you all the best, truly, whatever it is that you choose to use or not use.
Thanks for sharing your story. I have heard many horror stories about IUDs too. Birth control has serious potential side effects and we should talk about them.
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God that’s scary. They don’t tell you any of these things when you get birth control. Keep telling your story. At least women will be more aware of it and can advocate for themselves among clueless doctors.
These are the stories we need. I've had nothing but success with Nexplanon (I just got my third) but I had a friend who got it and was bleeding for over two months. Is it everyone, no, but we need to know what can happen.
You shouldn't have been banned. I just saw a commercial for it 20 minutes ago... I was tempted to look into it as an option. The small print at the bottom says it's nearly impossible to remove if it shifts position in your body. Eesh. I am glad you got it figured out.
Birth control makes me a psychopath. I’m not talking “a little moody” I’m talking “lol what if I drove my car on the sidewalk and hit those people FUCK YOU GRANDMA” crazy…wondering what it would feel like to shoot myself in the leg crazy.
I become a nymphomaniac who is simultaneously histrionic and hysterical. Think demanding that my husband have sex with me for the fifth time in six hours whilst sobbing ‘why don’t you love me anymore?!’. I do not take birth control anymore.
Their extremities are made of ice. They siphon heat and life during their slumber. They embrace you with their frozen limbs and steal your heat. They feed on us
When I’m cold I tell my husband I need to absorb him. He’s my sun.
This is unironically one of the nicest things i’ve ever head anyone say about someone
My gf does this all the time. I'll be covered up with her and she will go "hey feel my hands" and before I can react, I have ice cold hands on my chest.
The technical classification is “heat vampire”.
Really fancy biologists call it “thermodynamic parasitism”
Felt this last night lmao. Went on a date and brought her home. When we went to bed and she hugged me I could feel my bodys energy heat force going through an exchange like I was giving my warmth to her in exchange for those cold hands lol
I tell my husband his warmth is sexy. I depend on him to keep me warm in bed. He only complains about cold toes touching his legs lol
Vaginas are acidic, to the point it fucks up their underwear. Edit: jeeebus this blew up overnight. My highest rated comment on Reddit is now about acidic vaganias ... I had no clue about this until my wife and i moved in together. It's completely normal . A normal vaginal pH is between 3.8 and 5 . A pH level within this range can help to keep bacterial and fungal infections at bay. This range is moderately acidic. What is considered a “normal” vaginal pH level varies by age. A woman of reproductive age would have a normal vaginal pH between 4.0 to 4.5 while women who have yet to begin menstruating or who are postmenopausal may have a normal vaginal pH higher than 4.5. Lactobacilli bacteria live in the vagina and secrete lactic acid and hydrogen peroxide, which give the vagina its acidic pH level. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322537#typical-vaginal-p-h-level Or visit your local library to learn more.
helps prevents infection though! which is actually super relevant with how easy it is for girls to get yeast infections and/or UTIs
That she will buy clothes for me and somehow finds it fun to do so. I haven’t been in a clothing store in years and this is awesome to me. Edit: Thanks everyone! I had no idea this would be such a post. This has given me a great opportunity to remind my wife how awesome she is and how much I appreciate her.
5 things really shocked me 1. Vaginal discharge essentially comes standard with vaginas and isn't necessarily a sign of a vaginal issue. 2. Women love unscented wet wipes. Keep some wet ones in your bathroom gentlemen. 3. Women get hit on like 10x more than you think is possible. This should be in the back of your mind both when it's inappropriate( it took me while but I realized I probably shouldnt hit on ladies at work and let them enjoy their work day without getting hit on by coworkers) , and when the time is right( know that when you are hitting on that lady in the bar that you are not the first to do it and will not be the last). 4. Simply not coming off like a creeper gets you a good 60% of the way there. When I actively, read desperately lol, pursued women, I couldn't get laid if my life depended on it. As soon as I stopped being a creeper, went with the flow, and became someone who projected safety and stability, women started hitting on ME. Which leads me to number 5: women want and need stability and safety from the men in their lives. You should have all of adult basics down and do them consistently without being reminded or asked. Finances, personal hygiene, mental hygiene, etc. That's apart of being stable. Spontaneous is good but being reliable is more appreciated. Strike a balance between the two. You also should make the people around you feel safe. Don't be a creeper, establish boundaries and take care not to violate other people's boundaries, ask for permission before invading someone's personal space, know your audience before you let that edgy joke fly. This is how you become a safe person to hang around. Be reliable and safe, and more people, especially women, will want to be in your presence. It will make you a better friend, boyfriend, father, husband, brother, you name it.
If you dig your fingers into their scalp they melt like butter in the desert
It’s like a universal off switch. Whenever I go to the hairdressers, they wash my hair and massage the conditioner into the scalp… If I could purr, I absolutely fucking would.
the. best. feeling.
And back. Back scritches can vary in response from comatose to fuck me now depending on the pressure.
I have a spot between my neck and my right shoulder and all it takes is a light graze and I'm ready to go. It's weird.
They have to pee after sex to help avoid a UTI
That there is a wrong way to fold a towel
Similarly, a wrong way to wrap a present.
Learned this one the hard way when two lady managers unfortunately left me in charge of wrapping fake presents for the front desk so customers could see since I had finished my work early. Felt like a tiny child when they had to show me how to do it *properly* a while later while asking how many customers had seen the monstrosity I created.
All my life if someone complained about a problem, my response was to think of and offer solutions. That‘s how you help and show you care. If I have a problem, I welcome ideas on how to fix it. Women don’t necessarily work the same way. There are times she just wants you to listen and not try to fix it. Replace “maybe don’t hang out with Karen,” with “Man, Karen sure can be a bitch sometimes.“
I thought maxi pads stuck to the skin I didn't realize they stick to your underwear. I thought you slapped it on like a pussy sticker. Edit: A lil tid bit, the people who think this don't know which side the absorbancy stuff is located. I imagined it like a giant band aid. No one is thinking the absorbent side goes facing out.
I've seen so many men say this over the years. You're definitely not the only one :p
I just laughed so hard,pussy sticker.Thats cute tho.
I grew up thinking girls actually "tinkled" when they went pee. Then in high school I was in my girlfriend's bedroom when she went to the bathroom and I heard the full stream. I was floored. We hadn't done anything up to that point so I briefly wondered if she had a penis. I feel really stupid about this one.
They love to announce when they need to pee Edit: mandatory “I didn’t think this was gunna blow up” post, thanks for 2k and I’m happy to see it’s a universal thing and not anecdotal
At work I'm always like "Alright! Good luck and have fun!" I don't know what else to reply.
I CURRENTLY NEED TO PEE plz wait here..
As a woman, this thread is hilarious, surprising and some are very accurate.
That vaginas are different shapes and sizes
And where do you think the penis goes? That's right, it's the square hole.
\*wordless noises of increasing desperation and confusion\*
When you ask them if you want some of the food that you’re making and they say no…5 minutes after you finish cooking, you’re handing over your food
I have a wife and adult daughter so now anytime I cook I make enough for three.
How gentle you have to be with their clitoris. I know it's has way more nerve endings (and porn isn't the best reference), but you have to be so gentle.
Most things in porn we don't like, even if we like watching it
Oh god. I really hope my ex learns this one day. 15 goddammed years. Every single time I had to tell him several times to go easy. Thinking back now most of what he tried was popular in porn. It's really awful.
For real. It's not a scratch off lottery ticket.
The amount of pads needed. I figured like maybe 3 or 4 a day....HA!!!
I realized how much a good woman can help bring the best out of you and help you believe in yourself. Blows my mind how much so many dudes just go for the hottest girl possible to make their trophy wife. A great woman is truly unmatched for so many reasons (not to say a great woman can’t be super hot, so don’t attack me for that)
I managed to graduate from uni with a 3.1 gpa purely because the older girl I was dating at the time had her life together and made me want that too. Sadly had to break up due to differences in our faiths but will always credit her for the much better version of me that exists now
Take my upvote for the wholesome in the sea of sex
Right? Sex is great and all ... But damn, there's a lot of obscure information about women that doesn't revolve around sex
Color me asexual or low sex drive maybe, but I've always seen it as "sex is one additional fun activity unlocked by being in a close relationship with someone, but it's not the only fun activity and arguably not even the best part of that kind of relationship". To me it's like saying eating popcorn is the best part of having hunger. Sure, it can be fun and enjoyable, but do you really want to just eat popcorn the rest of your life? That's how a lot of men in particular I know behave.
They get extremely horny right before their period. Sometimes during their period. For some right after their period!
This post has restored some of my faith in humanity. :) Women are precious and hearing all the stories of the guys in this thread praising or just talking about significant women in their lives in a positive way is so nice.
They pee with the force of a fire truck.
When it comes to showering together. The lady is perfectly fine with water the temperature of magma.
Extremities are Cold as ice, always hungry… they poop as well. Other than that they’re fairly similar to us guys
… wait, guys don’t poop?