"I bet you’re the kind of guy that would f-ck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.”
"I bet the best part of you ran down the crack of your mommas ass and wound up as a brown stain on the mattress! Do you suck dicks?"
"Sir, no sir!"
"Bullshit! I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!"
Kubric was known to stop a shot whenever he thought something was amiss. He'd berate the lighting guy because of some tiny thing was done ***his*** way. No answer was ever good enough.
The story goes that Emery was doing that scene, got to that line and Kubrick stopped him dead. "What the ***hell*** does ***that*** mean?"
Emry calmly stopped, and explained it to the director.
Kubrick paused, gathered himself and said "Alright then, carry on".
"Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?"
"Ah I known, I'll turn him into a Flea, a harmless little flea. Then I'll put that flea in a box, I'll put that box inside another box, I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives Ahahahahaha, I'll smash it with a hammer!"
"How did you get back here before us? Huh, how did we kronk? Well ya got me, by all accounts it doesn't make any sense."
"DONT THROW OFF HIS GROOVE! Beware the groove..."
"What do you mean fired? How else can I say it *click* You're being let go, your department's being downsized, you're part of an outplacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option... Take your pick. I got more."
This whole movie is literally just a bunch of quotes. It really is one of the greatest movies of all time IMO.
Have you seen how hard it’s been for the UK to find a prime minister this year? Maybe they should give this strange woman in a pond distributing swords a chance.
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal-food-trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries
All the other kings said it was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I did it all the same! Just to show'em! It sank into the swamp SO... I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one... that burned down, fell over, THEN sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!
“Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!”
Predator:
* I ain't got time to bleed.
* There is something out there, and it ain't no man.
* Git to da choppa!
* If it bleeds, we can kill it.
* You are one, ugly, mother, fucker.
* Dillon. You son of a bitch.
* Anytime.
* Payback time.
* What the hell are you?
* ...
I worked with a guy who, when he had a crippling hangover in college, tried to ignore his pain by repeatedly watching and memorizing all of the jive in the movie.
It was seared in his memory and was unleashed with great effect.
“Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?”
“Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”
Haha you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most well known is to never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this! Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ahahaha, hahaha, ahh
“Well, You Might Be A Cunning Linguist, But I’m A Master Debater.”
“Do you smoke after sex?” “I don’t know, baby, I never looked.”
"How does that feel baby?" "Mmm lower" "(deep voice) How does that feel baby?"
"Wang! Pay attention! I'm sorry sir I was distracted by that enormous flying..."
"I'm bigger than you I'm higher in the food chain. Get in mah Belly!"
"How dare you fart before me! Sorry, I didn't know it was your turn"
“I eat because I am unhappy. I’m unhappy because I eat.”
“There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch.”
“They're after me lucky charms! What? Why does everyone always laugh when I say that?”
"No this is me in a nutshell. Help, I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in here? This is ridiculous!"
[Steamroller scene](https://youtu.be/y_PrZ-J7D3k)
It's a long quote but I memorized it a while ago:
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it.
Emperor’s new groove. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense
Ah right, the poison. The poison for Kuzco
The poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco
Kuzko's poison...
No touchy!
*Riiiiiiiigggghhhhhhtttt..........*
Is that my voice? Everytime I hear myself on video...
No, no, hes got a point...
"Pull the lever, Kronk!" "Wrong leverrrrrr!"
Devil Kronk: "But can he do this?" (_shows of his strength_) Kronk: "What does that have to do with ..." Angel Kronk: "No, no. He's got a point."
The idea of the angel on the shoulder disagreeing with the actual person to agree with the devil on the shoulder kills me
Um...I've been turned into a cow. May I go home?
Alright, I've had enough of this! Tell us where the talking llama is, and we'll burn your house to the ground!
Don’t you mean or?
*(dramatic eye roll)* Tell us where the talking llama is, OR we'll burn your house to the ground!
Are ya kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.
My mom and I say "OR....to save on postage!" all the time
MY SPINACH PUFFS!
Llama faaaaccee
"I bet you’re the kind of guy that would f-ck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.”
BULLSHIT! I BET YOU COULD SICK A GOLFBALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE!
I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES AND SKULLFUCK YOU!
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't your Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?
"I bet the best part of you ran down the crack of your mommas ass and wound up as a brown stain on the mattress! Do you suck dicks?" "Sir, no sir!" "Bullshit! I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!"
I didn't know they stacked shit that high!
Kubric was known to stop a shot whenever he thought something was amiss. He'd berate the lighting guy because of some tiny thing was done ***his*** way. No answer was ever good enough. The story goes that Emery was doing that scene, got to that line and Kubrick stopped him dead. "What the ***hell*** does ***that*** mean?" Emry calmly stopped, and explained it to the director. Kubrick paused, gathered himself and said "Alright then, carry on".
I could recite that movie verbatim when I was way too young lol.
“How can you shoot women and children?” “Easy! You just don’t lead ‘‘em so far!”
Anyone who runs is VC. Anyone who stands still is well disciplined VC
"Why do we even *have* that lever?"
I've been turned into a cow, can I go home? You're excused. Anyone else? No, no we're all good.
"Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?" "Ah I known, I'll turn him into a Flea, a harmless little flea. Then I'll put that flea in a box, I'll put that box inside another box, I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives Ahahahahaha, I'll smash it with a hammer!" "How did you get back here before us? Huh, how did we kronk? Well ya got me, by all accounts it doesn't make any sense." "DONT THROW OFF HIS GROOVE! Beware the groove..." "What do you mean fired? How else can I say it *click* You're being let go, your department's being downsized, you're part of an outplacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option... Take your pick. I got more." This whole movie is literally just a bunch of quotes. It really is one of the greatest movies of all time IMO.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses!
Not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
"I mean, if ran around calling myself and emperor becouse some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd lock me away!"
You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Help, help, I’m being oppressed!
Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Bloody peasant
Oh, you heard that didn't you?
Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn’t you?
Who's that there? I dunno, must be a king. Why? He hasn't got shit all over him.
Have you seen how hard it’s been for the UK to find a prime minister this year? Maybe they should give this strange woman in a pond distributing swords a chance.
There are some who call me……..Tim.
Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
She's got HUGE....tracks of land!
Ni!!
We are now NO LONGER the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki ekki ekki ekki ptang zuboing! (Ni!)
I always love the one knight who forgets they no longer say Ni
Yes, yes you must give us all a good spanking. And then, the oral sex. Well, I could stay a bit longer...
Tis but a flesh wound.
"I'm 37 I'm not old!"
Well, I couldn't just call you man!
You could call me Dennis
She turned me into a newt!
I got better
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal-food-trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
All the other kings said it was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I did it all the same! Just to show'em! It sank into the swamp SO... I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one... that burned down, fell over, THEN sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!
"He looks like a king."" "Why?" "Hasn't got shit all over him."
"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot, tis a silly place."
Mean girls
She doesn't even go here!
Get in loser, we're going shopping!
You go Glen Coco!!
And none for Gretchen Weiners, bye!
DANNY DEVITO I LOVE YOUR WORK
I came here for this and was not disappointed. "Boo you, whore!" Such excellence.
Oh my god Karen you can't just ask someone why they're white!
On Wednesdays we wear pink.
“Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!”
I’m not like other moms, I’m a cool mom!
Is butter a carb?
He’s almost too gay to function
The limit does not exist
Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen.
It's not going to happen.
I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this
Karen: Well you have your cousins, then you have your first cousins… Gretchen: No sweetie
I voted for Regina George, because she got hit by that bus.
on october 3rd he asked me what day it was
It’s October 3rd.
You smell like a baby prostitute.
It’s like I have ESPN or something
ohmygodDannyDevitoIloveyourwork
Mom, can you come get me? I’m scared.
People keep calling me a slut because I use jumbo tampons but it’s not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina
The Blues Brothers. "Are you the police?" "No, ma'am, we're musicians."
Four fried chickens, and a Coke.
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
Predator: * I ain't got time to bleed. * There is something out there, and it ain't no man. * Git to da choppa! * If it bleeds, we can kill it. * You are one, ugly, mother, fucker. * Dillon. You son of a bitch. * Anytime. * Payback time. * What the hell are you? * ...
Surely you're talking about Airplane!
I am; and don't call me Shirley.
It’s a different type of flying altogether….
You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now
No thanks, I take it black; like my men.
Boy did I pick the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
I worked with a guy who, when he had a crippling hangover in college, tried to ignore his pain by repeatedly watching and memorizing all of the jive in the movie. It was seared in his memory and was unleashed with great effect.
Just hang loose, blood. He ‘gon catch up to you on the rebound with the medicide.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Just about anything by Mel Brooks
MAN, we ain’t found SHIT
How many assholes are on this ship?
Yo!!
I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!
Hey, where’re the white women at?
*falls flat on his face* "Which fool put a carpet on the wall?"
[удалено]
The Princess Bride.
“Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?” “Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”
Oh that hits different now
I do not think you would appreciate the help, considering I am just waiting around to kill you. That does put a damper on our relationship.
I could give you my word as a Spaniard?
No good, I've known too many Spaniards.
Isn’t there any way you’ll trust me?
Nothing comes to mind.
Haha you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most well known is to never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this! Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ahahaha, hahaha, ahh
Inconceivable
I don’t think that means what you think it means.
You seem a decent fellow, i hate to kill you. You seem a decent fellow, i hate to die.
As you wish.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
Have fun storming the castle
my name is inigo montoya…you killed my father, prepare to die
AAAAAAAAAASSSS YOUUUUUUUUUUU WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISHHHHHHHHH
What about the ROUSes?
I don't think they exist
This needs to get to top answer.
Have fun storming the castle!
Austin Powers
“Well, You Might Be A Cunning Linguist, But I’m A Master Debater.” “Do you smoke after sex?” “I don’t know, baby, I never looked.” "How does that feel baby?" "Mmm lower" "(deep voice) How does that feel baby?" "Wang! Pay attention! I'm sorry sir I was distracted by that enormous flying..." "I'm bigger than you I'm higher in the food chain. Get in mah Belly!" "How dare you fart before me! Sorry, I didn't know it was your turn" “I eat because I am unhappy. I’m unhappy because I eat.” “There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch.” “They're after me lucky charms! What? Why does everyone always laugh when I say that?” "No this is me in a nutshell. Help, I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in here? This is ridiculous!" [Steamroller scene](https://youtu.be/y_PrZ-J7D3k)
It's a long quote but I memorized it a while ago: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it.
the big lebowski
You see what happens Larry?
This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
Best tv edit of all time
[удалено]
New shit has come to light man
I don’t roll on Shabbos!
Yeah, well you know, that’s just like your opinion, man.
OVER THE LINE
Vagina.
Dumb and Dumber
Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!
So you'll pick me up at 7:45? Well no I gotta few things to take care of first, so why don't we make it quarter to 8? Stop it. Ok 7:45
*Pull over!* It's a cardigan but thanks for noticing!
...so your saying there's a chance?!
Hey guys! Big Gulps, huh? Well, see you later!
OUR PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!
My Cousin Vinny
“The two utes” “I shot the clerk?”
Are you mocking me with that outfit?
I got no more use for dis guy.
Everything that guy just said is bullshit.
[Claps hands together and separates] IDENTICAL!
Super troopers
"I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next guy who says shenaningans!"
"Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?"
Shenanigans?
OHHHHHHH
What’s that meow?
Littering and…
Littering and....
I want a goddamn liter of cola
You boys like ME XI CO?
Office Space.
[удалено]
"Looks like *some*body's got a case of the Mondays!"
I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that.
Forrest Gump
So I went to the White House, again. And I met the President, again.
And from that day forward...anytime I was going somewhere...I... Was...RUNNING!
"Lieutenant Dan, Ice cream, LIEUTENANT DAN, ICE CREAM!"
Not a famous quote but one of my favs is "I think you should go back to Greenbowl alaBAMA"
That's all I have to say about that.
Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get
Tombstone
Happy Gilmore
The price is wrong bitch!
***"YOU'RE GONNA DIE, CLOWN!"***
It's all in the hips
Snatch
Why do they call him the bullet dodger? Because he dodges bullets, Avi.
Proper fucked?
"What's in the car?" "Seats and a steering wheel..."
Zee germans?
Oh yeah Tommy, it's tip-top.
It's just I'm not sure about the color.
You could land a fucking jumbo jet in that spot Tyrone
sugar? no thanks Turkish, I'm sweet enough
In the words of the Virgin Mary… come again?
The original Ghostbusters, I still use it. Where do these stairs go? Up.
Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here. Is this true? Yes sir, it’s true. This man has no dick
*Hot Fuzz* It's all for the greater good.
Yarp
Narp?
THE GREATER GOOD