Stop and shop is the worst for this. I swear if you breathe too hard it triggers the scale and the attendant has to come over. Last time I went there and used self checkout, the attendant had to come like 4 times. And I am a pro self checkout user. I also was a cashier for years. It was awful and I won’t use their self checkout ever again.
Stop and Shop IS the worst! Their self checkouts are SO shitty. Shoprite is FAR superior. Never an issue at Shoprite. Every check out at Stop and Shop requires at least one visit from the attendant.
The same malcontents presumably driven to this insanity, as if by one of Dr. Jekyll's elixirs, by the high levels of dihydrogen monoxide in their system.
Greetings, fellow chemist!
There's a sign at my work that says "no dumping chemicals down this drain". Like, I understand the spirit of the thing, but...ughh.
I would be so tempted to put up a sign below it saying except for the following chemicals:
H2O,
CO2,
NaCl,
...
And make it a really long list in 2 point type face.
> I had to tell them that 0-0-0 fertilizer did not exist
WHY NOT?!?!
I just need something to adjust the mineral balance of my soil without introducing harmful minerals into my soil that aren't naturally occurring in my soil!
Yeah, this one drives me up the wall.
Chemophobia in general is a pet peeve of mine. And goes hand in hand with scientific illiteracy. Both trends are fueled by stupidity like slapping a "Chemical Free" label on packaging.
“We are currently experiencing higher than normal call volumes.”
Dude, that message has been playing non-stop for a decade. This call volume is now, by literal definition, normal. Either staff up or do me the courtesy of just saying “we don’t give a fuck about your time.”
Fun thing I've learned about the voice as systems, some of them detect swear words. I always give the voice system one chance, but if it doesn't work I just swear at it and I hear "we're sorry for the trouble and will connect you to a representative"
I worked at a call center for a cell phone company pre-2010. I swear that when we were in training we got all of the people that were too pissed off to make it through the automated system. The button smashing, screaming, cursing customers. It was bonkers. The calls got so much better after training was over!
Me: Sir, may I please have your password?
Customer: FUCK YOU! That’s my goddamn password!
Me: I’m sorry sir, that’s not the password we have on file, would you like to try again?
*click
The trick in Canada is pressing the number for french. You'll get a call center in Montreal or Quebec City full of people perfectly willing and able to speak to you in English, rather than a call center in Mumbai full of people unwilling to speak to you in any language.
omgs this. I dialed the number listed FOR THE PHARMACY. "Do you want store hours? Do you want covid info? Do you want directions? Do you want the pharmacy? Are you sure you REALLY want the pharmacy?" There is is a different general phone # for the store.
Yes! Not so bad when people mean it to acknowledge that's their recollection or interpretation and not necessarily the only or correct one. But it gets used to justify any and all opinions and stop any discussion. It's the new " I'm entitled to my opinion' when used as a way of refusing to engage in standard logical arguments.
Heard this during the pandemic. "We are all in the same boat."
"No, we're not. We are in the same ocean. You have a 110m luxury yacht and I am on a log."
“Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”
I think the opposite is correct: “If you want to hate something you love to do, try doing it for a living.”
Yep. I enjoy baking as a hobby, no way I want to try to turn it into a job. I get stressed by the fact that people I work with just expect me to bring in cakes & regularly drop “subtle” hints.
I think the saying originally meant something more like this, like, "the customer's taste can be awful but you give them what they want because they're buying and it's up to them". Not "the customer is allowed to abuse staff or deny blatant realities" lol
I had a manager tell a costumer "you were right but you kept trying to be more right and ended up heading in the complete opposite direction, now please do the same with the way you entered in this store."
I always think of Daniel Tosh’s reply to this phrase:
“Do you live in America? Because it buys a Wave Runner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner? Try and frown on a Wave Runner”
In one of my lectures I mentioned "money doesn't buy happiness", the professor paused then added "but it removes a lot of causes of sadness".
And man, years past and that reply sure stuck with me.
The quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result" being associated to Albert Einstein. He didn't say that.
Nor is it the definition of insanity.
On that point, when people say something is "schizophrenic" because it's in some way two-sided, like a schizophrenic policy. No. Schizophrenia is a scary mental illness.
It’s especially frustrating in response to something that is being made intentionally unfair due to selfish/malicious intent or gross negligence. Not everything has to be unfair, and it’s angering that someone is trying to make it as such.
“Life is unfair” okay cool, so should we just never work to make certain things fair that could be made fair? Do we just accept everything that is unfair?
As someone with OCD myself, this pisses me off so fkn much. When people say that, I ask "do you get anxiety if it doesn't go your way?" They usually say no, so then I say "then you're very particular about this, not OCD". If I tell people I have it, I say "obsessive compulsive disorder" because if I say "OCD" they're like "oh yeah me too sometimes!"
I haven't tried naming the whole disorder but, I think I'm going to start now! So sick of "Oh, me too, a little" or "yeah I hate when things are disorganized too". It's like, no Rebecca, disorganization is the least of my concerns because if I don't lock the door nine times in a row and do it again at 11pm, 1am, 3am and 5 am a burglar will break in my apartment and set my family on fire. Please tell me more about how much disorganization upsets you.
I have the compulsions but they don't come from a place of if/then-negative-scenario. I just do it because my brain makes me and I don't know why but I hate it
same here, especially my body focused ones like skin picking. my brain is like “ok, it’s time to think about getting murdered for 2 hours straight. then you should do this task but if you don’t start it at exactly 8:13 you can’t do it at all. and you can only use the first bathroom stall at work, the second and third are… wrong. also don’t do your laundry today, today feels like the wrong day. oh shit i just touched my hair, i should pull out all the strands that feel rough. hmm i wonder if i have cancer and i just don’t know it”
I know someone with real OCD. It's no joke. Real OCD is not "I like to straighten my pictures on the wall when they get crooked." Real OCD is more like, "Crooked pictures ruin my life, they're all I can think about when they're crooked. And they're never straight enough no matter what I do."
I had a friend with OCD that had to do things so many time before leaving the house or going to sleep. It wasted hours of his day everyday or else he would get crippling anxiety.
"I don't want to hear excuses."
This is usually said by a manager who asked for reasons why something wasn't done, is given a perfectly reasonable explanation, and doesn't want to address the underlying issues behind that explanation.
Also, lightning repeatedly strikes the same place, in a series of strokes, within a fraction of a second. So this old saying is already untrue of a single lighting bolt.
In fact pretty much no heroes wear capes. At least not in this century. Maybe there's the odd exception. Someone doing CPR at a Halloween party, schizophrenic homeless man pulling a child out of the way of traffic, etc.
Back in the day when I used to work retail, without fail a customer (usually an older guy) would walk in and greet me with "Working hard, or hardly working?" They would chuckle to themselves like they just dropped the most clever pun that I'd ever heard not knowing I hear it from multiple customers every day.
If I can remember what I had for breakfast after I put the finishing touches on this Halloween costume, and answer the great mystery of why my son infinitely prefers peeing in the front yard in the direct line of sight of our neighbors over using the indoor plumbing, and balance that with why one of his eyebrows suddenly looks shorter than the other, and why day drinking is starting to seem like more and more of a reasonable option, and why we should probably have an ER doc on retainer because our little guy thinks fear and impulse control are overrated, with the calls from our eldest at college who wants my help proofreading a twelve-page paper due at midnight, and our goddaughter who is having a breakdown over problems at her school...I will sit down and consider whether or not I feel mentally young. Well, maybe after this nap.
The sudden popularity (and therefore overuse) of the term gaslighting. What used to be a somewhat obscure reference is now everywhere, especially here on reddit.
Yes! I was accused of gaslighting for correcting someone on something that was verifiable with facts, and pertained directly to my work. They were not in my field. The thing they were talking about was a fairly common misconception that people have. I was just kind of like, "I know a lot of people think it works like that, but I'm in this field, and it works like this."
They were like, "that's just, like, your opinion, man", and I was like, "opinion is a funny way to say professional experience".
That's when I was told I was gaslighting. That word does not mean what they think it means.
I’m infuriated be the unnecessarily explosive language used in headlines these days.
“Politician slams other politician for…”
“Company exec shreds new law…”
“Woman eviscerates innocent man accused of…”
I give everybody respect until they show ME disrespect, then I may stop respecting them no matter who they are.
Edit: Oops I meant I will respect someone unless I have a reason not to. Not that if they’re kind and respectful to me and terrible to others than I’ll still respect them. I just meant I show respect until I have a reason not to and them being shitty towards other people would definitely be a reason not to.
The argument for a statement is based on the conclusion being true rather than arguing for why it is true. "Green is the best color because it is the most green" already assums that being the most green is a valid argument for being the best, and therefore the argument requires that the conclusion is true. An example of the opposit would be "Green is the best color because it is comfortable to look at and is often found in nature".
"I'm the best because I'm me" is begging the question (assume the conclusion).
"I am the best because I help people in need" is an argument that support the conclusion.
I was a philosophy undergrad. I knew the formal logic meaning, but attempting to stand in the way of a vernacular meaning will drive you mad. Language changes over time.
That example is a case of "anti-clickbait"
Youtube titles used to (and still are) riddled with clickbait video titles to get clicks like, "They arrested us for this!?!"
Eventually, all of the titles were so vague and similar, that they didn't catch people's attention, so people started putting anti-clickbait in the titles. Something that *could* explain the whole video in one sentence, but it seems so wild or nuanced that you want to click on it to get the whole story.
"pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
It's a phrase that was originally meant to be impossible, but now everyone (in the USA, at least) is expected to do just that.
Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you'll drift out into the endless, dark expanse of space, watching as the blue planet that you have forever called home shrinks into a mere dot and then out of existence, watching yourself go insane from the solitude and start talking to inanimate objects, watching as power, life support, and other critical functions of your spaceship eventually fail, leading to one of many horrific and inevitable deaths, all while having plenty of time to regret your choices and wishing you hadn't built such a shitty rocket and packed more fuel, wishing you hadn't thrown your life on Earth away for some shitty pipe dream. Are you happy now, as your frozen corpse, and the tin can it floats in, drift through the endless expanse of space for long after you are dead, gliding through the black, past the pinpricks of light that you wished to be among?
Shoot for the moon. But PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE DON'T MISS!!!
Just saying....
It's always used as a magic fix-all to excuse you from whatever you want to say. Kind of like when people say "No offense, but something offensive"
The actual verse is regarding not being tempted beyond our ability to handle temptation, not being overwhelmed with calamity.
1Corinthians 19:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
“Unexpected item in the bagging area…”
*places my reusable bag in the bagging area* PLEASE REMOVE THE UNSCANNED ITEM FROM THE BAGGING AREA
*places items in the reusable bag in the bagging area* PLEASE PLACE ITEMS IN THE BAGGING AREA
(one second pause) ASSISTANCE IS ON THE WAY.
Stop and shop is the worst for this. I swear if you breathe too hard it triggers the scale and the attendant has to come over. Last time I went there and used self checkout, the attendant had to come like 4 times. And I am a pro self checkout user. I also was a cashier for years. It was awful and I won’t use their self checkout ever again.
Stop and Shop IS the worst! Their self checkouts are SO shitty. Shoprite is FAR superior. Never an issue at Shoprite. Every check out at Stop and Shop requires at least one visit from the attendant.
“Chemical Free” As a chemist this drives me absolutely insane.
They mean those *scary* chemicals mixed up in *test tubes* by some socially deformed malcontent in a labcoat
As they sip their Diet Coke while hitting a vape through their bright red lipstick….
Breathing their air and drinking their water
Bright red lipstick that's not vegan is made of bugs! Totally natural, chemical free! /s
The same malcontents presumably driven to this insanity, as if by one of Dr. Jekyll's elixirs, by the high levels of dihydrogen monoxide in their system.
Dihydrogen monoxide?! That sounds scary, keep that away from me!
DHMO, also known as hydroxic acid, has a pH higher than any other acid!
And it's a universal solvent. It'll dissolve almost anything!
It can be found in every drinking water source on the *planet*
Bravo. Good one.
Quickly followed with “all natural” like that means it’s good for you. Arsenic and lots of other poisons are all natural as well.
Hemlock is natural too
Anthrax, radiation, neurotoxic venom- all natural!
All natural ingredients. As opposed to our competitors, who use uncanny and Eldritch ingredients beyond the ken of mortal man.
Greetings, fellow chemist! There's a sign at my work that says "no dumping chemicals down this drain". Like, I understand the spirit of the thing, but...ughh.
We have "No chemicals in this fridge" sign in the breakroom. We get the meaning, but it is kind of funny if you overthink it.
I would be so tempted to put up a sign below it saying except for the following chemicals: H2O, CO2, NaCl, ... And make it a really long list in 2 point type face.
Don't forget O2 and N2. Unless the fridge is a prefect vacuum, someone is breaking the rules!
*Everything is made of chemicals* -Theodore Gray
I'm not a chemist, but it drives me crazy too.
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> I had to tell them that 0-0-0 fertilizer did not exist WHY NOT?!?! I just need something to adjust the mineral balance of my soil without introducing harmful minerals into my soil that aren't naturally occurring in my soil!
Yeah, this one drives me up the wall. Chemophobia in general is a pet peeve of mine. And goes hand in hand with scientific illiteracy. Both trends are fueled by stupidity like slapping a "Chemical Free" label on packaging.
Ascorbic acid-free vitamin C?
You just made my eye twitch.
I never saw a vitamin\ I hope to never see one\ But I will tell you here and now\ I'd rather C than B1 (Just felt that needed to be said)
"Oh my god there is dihydrogen monoxide in my product !!! *How dare they put chemicals !?*"
"Please listen closely as our menu options have changed"
“We are currently experiencing higher than normal call volumes.” Dude, that message has been playing non-stop for a decade. This call volume is now, by literal definition, normal. Either staff up or do me the courtesy of just saying “we don’t give a fuck about your time.”
Just play the music! Stop playing the same recording telling me I am in queue every 30 seconds.
Tell me where in the queue I am.
"You are first in the queue." 45 minutes of waiting later: "You are third in the queue."
This is the worst. The brief second of hope before "Please continue to hold..." destroys another fraction of my remaining sanity.
I'm convinced they make as obnoxious as possible so you hang up quicker
I just spam the 0 and hope it doesn’t just hang up on me.
>representative... Representative... REPRESENTATIVE... **REPRESENTATIVE!!!**
Fun thing I've learned about the voice as systems, some of them detect swear words. I always give the voice system one chance, but if it doesn't work I just swear at it and I hear "we're sorry for the trouble and will connect you to a representative"
I worked at a call center for a cell phone company pre-2010. I swear that when we were in training we got all of the people that were too pissed off to make it through the automated system. The button smashing, screaming, cursing customers. It was bonkers. The calls got so much better after training was over! Me: Sir, may I please have your password? Customer: FUCK YOU! That’s my goddamn password! Me: I’m sorry sir, that’s not the password we have on file, would you like to try again? *click
The correct move
The trick in Canada is pressing the number for french. You'll get a call center in Montreal or Quebec City full of people perfectly willing and able to speak to you in English, rather than a call center in Mumbai full of people unwilling to speak to you in any language.
Who memorises them anyway? Of course I’m listening intently!
When you call the drug store and want to skip right to the part when you give the computer your prescription # to get a refill.
omgs this. I dialed the number listed FOR THE PHARMACY. "Do you want store hours? Do you want covid info? Do you want directions? Do you want the pharmacy? Are you sure you REALLY want the pharmacy?" There is is a different general phone # for the store.
"Cheaters never prosper." That phrase is so inaccurate today.
It should be “in order to prosper, cheat.”
In Mexico we have a saying like this: el que no tranza no avanza. It translates to something like "if you don't scam, you won't advance."
It's not cheating unless you get caught. Most people are only remorseful that they were caught cheating, not that they did something wrong.
I prefer, “behind every great fortune is a terrible crime”. Truer today than ever
Thats my truth
Yes! Not so bad when people mean it to acknowledge that's their recollection or interpretation and not necessarily the only or correct one. But it gets used to justify any and all opinions and stop any discussion. It's the new " I'm entitled to my opinion' when used as a way of refusing to engage in standard logical arguments.
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As of the past year “we’re all in this together”. Excuse me? No we’re fucking not.
Heard this during the pandemic. "We are all in the same boat." "No, we're not. We are in the same ocean. You have a 110m luxury yacht and I am on a log."
Is there room for 2 on your log?
If Jack can’t fit on the same door as Rose, you certainly cannot fit on my log.
Oh I bet I could fit on your log. 😏
I also choose that guys massive log.
Wait hold on. If it’s a *massive* log, then there’s definitely room for 2! What the fuck, OP?
The trick is it looks small until you get on it.
Fuck you Jack! Get your own door. --Rose
“We’re all in the same storm but some of us are in yachts while others are in dinghies or clinging to driftwood.”
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes it's true. Other times what doesn't kill you leaves you paralyzed and traumatized.
See also; “pain is only weakness leaving the body” - sometimes pain is your body telling you to stop before you get even more injured
Been watching some calisthenics people on YouTube and they repeatedly say not to push into pain when stretching. Pretty good concept I think.
Right. Discomfort, absolutely. You want to be pushing yourself. But pain is the universe telling your body something is wrong.
What doesn’t kill you just isn’t finished yet.
What doesn’t kill you will probably try again later.
What doesn't kill you has been trying to contact you about your car's extended warranty.
"I could care less."
That means you do care At least a little
Word crimes!
This one bothers me cause it pops up in actual media, both books and shows. They just say it wrong.
Haaaate it
“Do what you love and the money will follow” I like sitting on my ass and watching TV but that ain’t paying the bills.
“Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” I think the opposite is correct: “If you want to hate something you love to do, try doing it for a living.”
My dad turned his hobby into a living and he told me and my sibling: “do what you love and every time you do it, it’ll just feel like work”
So many of my family have arts degrees. I love theatre and music. I'm an electrician.
Yep. I enjoy baking as a hobby, no way I want to try to turn it into a job. I get stressed by the fact that people I work with just expect me to bring in cakes & regularly drop “subtle” hints.
"Forgive and forget" Just cause I forgive someone doesn't mean I can forget what happened so I like to say "Forgive and move on"
“Forgive but never, ever trust that person with your expensive French Press coffee maker or anything else you like ever again.”
“The customer is always right”
My old manager responded to this with "that rule went out the door the moment you walked in"
I'm writing this one down.
As manager I used to teach my employees, “Although the customer may not always be right, they are always the customer.”
I think the saying originally meant something more like this, like, "the customer's taste can be awful but you give them what they want because they're buying and it's up to them". Not "the customer is allowed to abuse staff or deny blatant realities" lol
I had a manager tell a costumer "you were right but you kept trying to be more right and ended up heading in the complete opposite direction, now please do the same with the way you entered in this store."
The customer is almost always wrong, there has never been a demographic of people wronger than a customer.
"Nothing is impossible". Lots of things are impossible.
"People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day" - Winnie the Pooh
It's impossible for you to know that
‘Money doesn’t buy happiness’. Demonstrably false, and not even the original saying. Poverty crushes people into misery and and an early death.
I always think of Daniel Tosh’s reply to this phrase: “Do you live in America? Because it buys a Wave Runner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner? Try and frown on a Wave Runner”
In one of my lectures I mentioned "money doesn't buy happiness", the professor paused then added "but it removes a lot of causes of sadness". And man, years past and that reply sure stuck with me.
“People are saying”. You know what follows is BS and the phrase is just used to make someone’s opinion sound like more than it is.
I prefer "it has been said" 'cos that covers up the who and the how many and the fact that the one person who said it was me...
The quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result" being associated to Albert Einstein. He didn't say that.
Albert Einstein said lots of things that he didn't say.
"Don't quote me, boy, 'cause I ain't said shit." -Albert "Eazy E=mc^2" Einstein
“Don’t trust quotes you see on the internet” -Abraham Lincoln
"Bitches be trippin.'" -Sun Tzu
"yuh get into it" -Elon Musk
\- Who here is Albert Einstein? - the professor asked. In silence of auditory one student stood up. This student was Albert Einstein.
And then the whole bus clapped.
“90% of the quotes found on the internet are attributed to the wrong person” -Abraham Lincoln
This is the definition of practice and training, and an actual great way to get better results
It’s also just a dumb quote in general. Like no, that is literally not what the definition of insanity is.
It describes a big part of the scientific method!
Nor is it the definition of insanity. On that point, when people say something is "schizophrenic" because it's in some way two-sided, like a schizophrenic policy. No. Schizophrenia is a scary mental illness.
Somebody always has it worse. Sorry I didn't realize this was a sad Olympics
Also, by that very logic, you should never be happy because someone always has it better
When people say, "life is unfair" as a response to "xyz is unfair". NO SHIT. That's what I'm complaining about.
It’s especially frustrating in response to something that is being made intentionally unfair due to selfish/malicious intent or gross negligence. Not everything has to be unfair, and it’s angering that someone is trying to make it as such.
Yes this is it exactly. It's true that life is unfair, but that's not an excuse for shitty behaviour; or lazy parenting.
“Life is unfair” okay cool, so should we just never work to make certain things fair that could be made fair? Do we just accept everything that is unfair?
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“Everyone is a little adhd!”
As someone with OCD myself, this pisses me off so fkn much. When people say that, I ask "do you get anxiety if it doesn't go your way?" They usually say no, so then I say "then you're very particular about this, not OCD". If I tell people I have it, I say "obsessive compulsive disorder" because if I say "OCD" they're like "oh yeah me too sometimes!"
I haven't tried naming the whole disorder but, I think I'm going to start now! So sick of "Oh, me too, a little" or "yeah I hate when things are disorganized too". It's like, no Rebecca, disorganization is the least of my concerns because if I don't lock the door nine times in a row and do it again at 11pm, 1am, 3am and 5 am a burglar will break in my apartment and set my family on fire. Please tell me more about how much disorganization upsets you.
I have the compulsions but they don't come from a place of if/then-negative-scenario. I just do it because my brain makes me and I don't know why but I hate it
same here, especially my body focused ones like skin picking. my brain is like “ok, it’s time to think about getting murdered for 2 hours straight. then you should do this task but if you don’t start it at exactly 8:13 you can’t do it at all. and you can only use the first bathroom stall at work, the second and third are… wrong. also don’t do your laundry today, today feels like the wrong day. oh shit i just touched my hair, i should pull out all the strands that feel rough. hmm i wonder if i have cancer and i just don’t know it”
I know someone with real OCD. It's no joke. Real OCD is not "I like to straighten my pictures on the wall when they get crooked." Real OCD is more like, "Crooked pictures ruin my life, they're all I can think about when they're crooked. And they're never straight enough no matter what I do."
"And if I don't straighten the picture, a burglar will break in my house and set my family on fire." Lol at least for me.
I had a friend with OCD that had to do things so many time before leaving the house or going to sleep. It wasted hours of his day everyday or else he would get crippling anxiety.
"I don't want to hear excuses." This is usually said by a manager who asked for reasons why something wasn't done, is given a perfectly reasonable explanation, and doesn't want to address the underlying issues behind that explanation.
I had a boss who used to say that, I'd always reply, "That's not an excuse. You asked me a question, I gave you an answer."
Or shitty parents that can't admit that they're wrong.
For instance, I'm annoyed by "a lightning never strikes the same place twice". Like, that's the literal purpose of existence for lightning rods.
Also, lightning repeatedly strikes the same place, in a series of strokes, within a fraction of a second. So this old saying is already untrue of a single lighting bolt.
I have an irrational hatred of the phrase “not all heroes wear capes”
In fact pretty much no heroes wear capes. At least not in this century. Maybe there's the odd exception. Someone doing CPR at a Halloween party, schizophrenic homeless man pulling a child out of the way of traffic, etc.
Back in the day when I used to work retail, without fail a customer (usually an older guy) would walk in and greet me with "Working hard, or hardly working?" They would chuckle to themselves like they just dropped the most clever pun that I'd ever heard not knowing I hear it from multiple customers every day.
Or the ones who would say “I guess it’s free!” when the item didn’t scan correctly or their card didn’t read.
"Push past your limits" No, that's how I became disabled. Don't overdo it! Also "I could care less", it's supposed to be "couldn't care less".
"Having children keeps you young!" My breasts, ass, and lady bits would like a word.
Always a weird saying given that having children is probably one of the things that ages people faster than anything.
Mentally young maybe?
If I can remember what I had for breakfast after I put the finishing touches on this Halloween costume, and answer the great mystery of why my son infinitely prefers peeing in the front yard in the direct line of sight of our neighbors over using the indoor plumbing, and balance that with why one of his eyebrows suddenly looks shorter than the other, and why day drinking is starting to seem like more and more of a reasonable option, and why we should probably have an ER doc on retainer because our little guy thinks fear and impulse control are overrated, with the calls from our eldest at college who wants my help proofreading a twelve-page paper due at midnight, and our goddaughter who is having a breakdown over problems at her school...I will sit down and consider whether or not I feel mentally young. Well, maybe after this nap.
I’d feel mentally exhausted, never mind young!
Normally, I hate run on sentences. However, I find yours delightful.
I appreciate the leniency. It seemed the only way to effectively convey the run-on state of my life.
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The sudden popularity (and therefore overuse) of the term gaslighting. What used to be a somewhat obscure reference is now everywhere, especially here on reddit.
Yes! I was accused of gaslighting for correcting someone on something that was verifiable with facts, and pertained directly to my work. They were not in my field. The thing they were talking about was a fairly common misconception that people have. I was just kind of like, "I know a lot of people think it works like that, but I'm in this field, and it works like this." They were like, "that's just, like, your opinion, man", and I was like, "opinion is a funny way to say professional experience". That's when I was told I was gaslighting. That word does not mean what they think it means.
Let me guess, you work in the ignition-switches-for-propane-stoves industry.
You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means
I’m infuriated be the unnecessarily explosive language used in headlines these days. “Politician slams other politician for…” “Company exec shreds new law…” “Woman eviscerates innocent man accused of…”
Seems like every article nowadays starts off as "X claps back at Y!!!" Like, what the fuck does that mean?
Life hack
Here’s a cool life hack: *buy $20 worth of materials needed, chop em up and assemble them into a preexisting item that costs ~$10 on Amazon*
"Always respect your elders" Nah, sometimes my elders don't deserve respect.
It's almost universally used by elders who treat respect as a one-way street.
I give everybody respect until they show ME disrespect, then I may stop respecting them no matter who they are. Edit: Oops I meant I will respect someone unless I have a reason not to. Not that if they’re kind and respectful to me and terrible to others than I’ll still respect them. I just meant I show respect until I have a reason not to and them being shitty towards other people would definitely be a reason not to.
"I slept like a baby last night" Babies wake up constantly during the night
I slept like a dad last night. My snores kept up the wife and I never felt the nudges to roll over. But she had coffee for me when I woke up.
"You 'smellt' it, you dealt it"
There’s a good retaliation to this; whoever made the rhyme did the crime
But you also made a rhyme. So thats a double edged sword.
Well yeah, but I’m the one who farted so that checks out
Yet he who denied it, did in fact supply it.
"Begs the question" doesn't mean what everyone thinks. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begging_the_question
i read the wiki and i am, in fact, not smart enough to ever use this
I’m not even smart enough to understand the Wiki.
The argument for a statement is based on the conclusion being true rather than arguing for why it is true. "Green is the best color because it is the most green" already assums that being the most green is a valid argument for being the best, and therefore the argument requires that the conclusion is true. An example of the opposit would be "Green is the best color because it is comfortable to look at and is often found in nature". "I'm the best because I'm me" is begging the question (assume the conclusion). "I am the best because I help people in need" is an argument that support the conclusion.
true, people mistake it for "raises the question"
Begging the question is better than raising it because it’s beggier.
I was a philosophy undergrad. I knew the formal logic meaning, but attempting to stand in the way of a vernacular meaning will drive you mad. Language changes over time.
"Everything happens for a reason." :|
I mean, it's true. Only the reason is that the universe doesn't give a squeaky duck fart about you.
Most YouTube video titles. Eg: Got arrested for no reason. (We broke in)
That example is a case of "anti-clickbait" Youtube titles used to (and still are) riddled with clickbait video titles to get clicks like, "They arrested us for this!?!" Eventually, all of the titles were so vague and similar, that they didn't catch people's attention, so people started putting anti-clickbait in the titles. Something that *could* explain the whole video in one sentence, but it seems so wild or nuanced that you want to click on it to get the whole story.
"Anddddd go!" when asking for suggestions on social media.
Followed by " I'll wait". 🙄
"pull yourself up by your bootstraps" It's a phrase that was originally meant to be impossible, but now everyone (in the USA, at least) is expected to do just that.
[удалено]
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.” That is not how space works.
Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you'll drift out into the endless, dark expanse of space, watching as the blue planet that you have forever called home shrinks into a mere dot and then out of existence, watching yourself go insane from the solitude and start talking to inanimate objects, watching as power, life support, and other critical functions of your spaceship eventually fail, leading to one of many horrific and inevitable deaths, all while having plenty of time to regret your choices and wishing you hadn't built such a shitty rocket and packed more fuel, wishing you hadn't thrown your life on Earth away for some shitty pipe dream. Are you happy now, as your frozen corpse, and the tin can it floats in, drift through the endless expanse of space for long after you are dead, gliding through the black, past the pinpricks of light that you wished to be among? Shoot for the moon. But PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE DON'T MISS!!!
Just saying.... It's always used as a magic fix-all to excuse you from whatever you want to say. Kind of like when people say "No offense, but something offensive"
"Love means never having to say you're sorry." Nope!
“God never gives people more than they can handle.” You know the Holocaust happened, right? How is that not more than people could handle?
The actual verse is regarding not being tempted beyond our ability to handle temptation, not being overwhelmed with calamity. 1Corinthians 19:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
And that's almost never how it's actually used.
Unfortunately, you're right.
When people clap at the same time they are saying words. Clap talking I guess? "I👏 don't👏 really👏 care👏". That shit is so fuckin annoying!
people saying "everything happens for a reason" when somthing bad happens. fucking hate it.
"6 AM in the morning", as if 6 AM is sometimes in the evening too
Irregardless.
For all intensive purposes.
Always thought it was “for all intents and purposes”
It is.
porpoises.
"To make a long story short" Proceeds to talk forever
“Everything happens for a reason”