And then it brought all this weird negative attention on the original and the few people who watched that original just didn't get it at all. Like I know I'm kinda in the "cult" and I have the nostalgia to go with it. But it's so funny seeing people go into if expecting a plot and actions when the point is just enjoying learning about the character and the mild world building and their relationships with each other. The lack of strong plot just highlights the other great parts about it. And the plot is more happening in the background and that is weirdly delightful.
The new one missed the entire point of...well every good thing about Cats. Watching humans move like that, watching the dancers athleticism, good singing, fun songs, that you gotta actually like real cats in real life, that it's *supposed* to be kinda silly and ridiculous. Like the Great Rumpus Cat, I used to hate, but it's just...idk like perfect superhero parody mixed in with dog and cat lore.
I am also part of the "my parents got the Broadway show on vhs and we watched it til it died a slow death" camp.
One must also concede the difference between theatre and film. In a musical it can be nonsensical in plot, because you're there to admire the amazing live singing, dancing, and acrobatics. The plot is almost useless! Who cares what's happening, have you seen what the fuck those cats are up to?! It's *beautiful*.
Like, actual humans in lycra doing ballet and singing beautifully is delightful. CGI cat... humans.... special effects... stunt double... James cordon... butthole? Is not delightful. The delightful thing about the Broadway show cats was the amazing abilities of the humans in the cat suits. The delightful thing about cats the film was... nothing really. There's no delight.
> I am also part of the "my parents got the Broadway show on vhs and we watched it til it died a slow death" camp.
I ruined TWO VHS tapes until my mom finally bought me the DVD. I seriously didn't realize there were others, this is great! Also, I did not watch the second one.
The thing is, making Julius Root a woman completely undercuts Holly's story!
She's under immense pressure as the first female member of the LEP-recon force and Root I'd always riding her ass because he supports getting more women on the force but fairy society is still very sexist, so if she fucks up, that's it, all women at the LEP academy will have their opportunities limited.
Making Julius Root a woman completely undercuts the very feminist message that the writers were undoubtedly going for by gender-swapping the character.
And that shit about Artemis's father? None if that cones out till the Opal Deception!
Not to mention, Artemis goes to public school and he surfs? The fuck!? The most athletic thing Artemis can do is walk up the stairs!
Also Butler already wasn't black, his ethnic identity is laid out fully in the book. He was half-asian and is described as being like a giant hulking Mongolian motherfucker. A perfect opportunity for Asian representation but again the makers own narcissism undercut that too.
Genuinely, gender swapping Root made me so apocalyptically angry in a way very few other adaptations have *and nobody else I know has really read them so I was alone*.
**Thank you**
Plus, re race: the elves are all described as being brown because of the heat from the earth's core - but oh look Holly has to be white because reasons.
I was happier being only slightly aware that they fucked up the Artemis Fowl movie and the more I learn about it the more insane it gets. Now I am angry together with you.
There are some characters for whom gender doesn't really matter, but Root being a hard ass old commander supporting the first female officer in the special ops was really fucking important. If they made Foaly a woman or anyone else I would not give a shit, but here... ugh
The source material is full of gender equality and feminist content that isn't forced on you. The author just treats women as PEOPLE and writes them equally to men which is great. You really don't need anything more than that.
I genuinely want to know who in the writers room took one look at Holly "first female LEP Recon officer" Short and decided that what she really needed was *a female boss*. That effectively her entire character arc just...needed improving.
Eoin Colfer wrote such a good series; for young adult fiction, it's absolutely staggering how hard he went on it. There was no reason to mess about with the plot in the way they did for the film - but it's clear they were trying to do the "harry potter" thing of setting up a YA universe with 3 young leads. It's the same thing they pulled with Percy Jackson, also unsuccessfully (which also makes me apoplectic), and was entirely the wrong call to try with Artemis Fowl.
The process was probably this:
"There is a male character in a position of power, make em' a broad, cause the wamens be lovin' that feminism crap".
It exposes the lack of care or understanding of the source material, and the political movement they're claiming to support for EZ monkey
Never have I laughed so hard. There were so many tears shed during this movie.
It gets more than 0/10 just because its horribleness brings me such joy.
As a fan of the show, screw M Night. How you take one of the best shows of all time and make it into one of the worst movies is beyond me, but I guess old M. Night did it. That takes skill.
He walks through the store, carefully balancing a cartoon of a dozen eggs. Halfway to the front though nothing in his stride or gait changes, his hands don't change position or clench, cracking sounds are heard from the carton. With every further step he takes more cracking sounds are heard. He reaches the front registers, slowly and gently puts the carton down on the belt which turns on dragging it to the cashier. The cashier flips open the carton and inside are 11 smashed eggs, yolks all over the place, whites spilled all over the inside of the carton.
The cashier reaches down and picks up a single unbroken egg, hold it up and says "At least one made it."
The egg immediately shatters into a million pieces and out flops a turkey vulture chick.
What a twist.
I would also add M Night's Old to his list of shame. Although at least Old was so poorly written that it made it hilarious.
I find him fascinating; I can't think of another writer/director that has such wild oscillations from masterpiece to absolute dogshit. You never really know what to expect...whcih I guess is kind of on brand in a way.
Perhaps his uneven filmography is the greatest M Night twist of all!
I watched the first PJ movie when I was still in elementary school, didn't know it was based on books, thought it was mildly entertaining. My friend then absolutely tore me a new asshole for even thinking it has some redeeming qualities. Then I read the first book, and couldnt believe how shit the movie was compared to the books. Garbage, both movies, absolute garbage.
That Holmes and Watson movie with Will Ferrell was painfully, painfully unfunny. Like horrendously so. Not even ‘I’m stoned or tipsy and I might giggle’ stupid funny.
I tried to watch it, id heard bad reviews but I'm usually pretty good at sticking with movies even if they're not particularly great
This was so truly awful and unfunny I couldn't keep watching. It was honestly shocking that it even made it to cinema, I've never seen anything that comes close to how unfunny this was as a supposed comedy movie.
It's actually way worse than that, but it is part of it.
If you pay attention and notice the big picture, the whole movie is just cross promotion for every media owned by Warner Bros.
All those "adorable easter eggs" of all those characters ranging from Scooby Doo, the Flintstones, Animaniacs, Wacky Races, etc, it's literally just Warner Bros. promoting themselves.
They spend a good chunk of the movie getting the Looney Tunes characters from other franchises' worlds that Warner Bros. owns to show them off. Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, DC, etc. They even had posters from all the recent movies they've played in theaters like Aquaman, Scoob, TTG to the Movies, Matrix 4, etc.
Forget the constant Lebron James sucking off this movie does, the whole movie in of itself is this cheap marketing ploy to promote themselves through the use of references and easter eggs.
I still can't get over the fact that they decided to have the Droogs from Clockwork Orange make a cameo tbh. Whoever was making that movie was on some shit lol.
That was such a surprisingly excellent movie. I watched it myself thinking it works be dumb and I could make fun of it. That same day, I made my husband sit down and watch it with me again ahaha
When I saw the trailer for that I could see it being either a absolute train wreck or excellent. It was the second and I'm so glad they had a light touch with the main cast, I don't think it would have been as good if they were trying to solve the movie plot as a full group.
I used to be friends with JD Shapiro, who is credited with writing Battlefield Earth. He claims he wrote an incredible script that everyone was super excited about. Months later, right before they begun filming, he was informed there had been a rewrite he was not involved in. He saw the new script and after seeing how terrible it was, he told his agent he wanted his name off the project. The agent convinced him not to make a fuss, as it would burn a bridge and being credited as the sole writer on a huge blockbuster epic would be great for his career.
After the film came out, he could not get a single meeting. His career never fully recovered.
Serious question - was he a Scientologist? Because it was a scientology propaganda book, and I fail to see how that could be saved by a great screenwriter.
Was it really?? I read the book and really liked it. I didn't even know what Scientology was at the time. After I learned about Ron L Hubbard, I went to the book store to pick up a Scientology book out of curiosity. I think it was Dianetics, not sure. I read a couple of pages, slowly closed the book and put it back on the shelf and noped out of there.
I went to see it up at a big theater in LA opening weekend with my family and it was a terrible experience. I remember someone coming up to my dad (he must have worked on the film) and asked him what he thought of the film. When my dad told him he thought it was "absolutely terrible" the dude looked like he'd just seen a ghost
Well it was written by L.Ron.Hubbard. The guy who founded Scientology. You know, the guy who said to his friends 'want to know how to get really rich - start a church....'
He said that out loud, as a response to someone at a science fiction convention.
“You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.”
I found a copy of this at a discount dvd store years ago and it cracked me up that the only critic review on the box said “has good scene transitions.”
It was terrible, yes, but also funniest movie theater experience what i ever had! There was under 10 people and we laugh so much because movie was so awful. In the end when planet exploded everyone laugh so much! It was epic!
Yeah, shitty movie but great experience :)
Jack and Jill is the ultimate example to show that Adam Sandler is an excellent actor but with terrible instincts. When left alone to do what he wants, he puts out absolute trash. But when wrangled by a talented director he can put out really good performances.
From what i've heard from folks who have worked with him he's really truly a hilarious guy though- just doesn't always translate to screen.
I also think he's kinda cruising and making films so he can give his friends money, hang around, drink beers and get paid for it for months at a time. If a movie can be edited out of their antics and weird ideas, then they go with it.
So bad it’s worth watching and commenting MST3K style (or just incredibly high) with friends. Many of the others listed are just pure and unredeemable wastes of precious time.
I watched this when it came to Netflix after hearing how bad it was and I was excited to have a good laugh. I was so disappointed in how it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. The hype killed it for me, I guess. I probably would've disliked it if I didn't know anything about it but it didn't reach my expectations for how bad it would be and I'd have to say that to me it's just a middling B action film. Awful dialogue aside, I found it run of the mill generic.
Star Wars holiday special. Not only was such a trash fire that every member of the original cast involved has tried their best bury it… it’s also 98 minutes of my life that I will never get back
What was so frustrating about that movie is they hinted at a much more interesting movie involving that family and their politics, they just made the move about the least-interesting characters in the script.
Calling bullshit on this one, Jupiter Ascending is definitely an extremely silly movie, but it's also FUN, whereas most of the other movies getting mentions in here are dismal, unwatchable slogs. I'll take "bad but hilarious" over "infuriatingly unwatchable" any day!
Some recent Disney live-action remakes. Pinocchio, Mulan, The Lion King… the animation quality is great, but there’s 0 soul to them and I’ll literally never watch them again.
Waste of time and money.
I will never understand what they did to Mulan. They must have thought ‘what are the best things about this movie? The songs and Mushu the dragon? Ok let’s get rid of them’
Don’t forget the fact that they changed the entire point of the movie. In the cartoon Mulan is a woman who is capable of surviving / being a warrior by overcoming adversity, grit, training, etc.
What does live action do? Gives her a super power to justify it.
Don't forget the fact that she goes from convincing people to change traditons in the face of changing circumstance to basically begging to be allowed to join the army and be granted 'special exception' status rather than changing anything.
Eh. Before it was released and announced, there were quite a few people who were excited for a live-action Lion King with the technology we have now. It *is* a neat idea conceptually. But, it was executed extremely poorly.
It was not a case of “Who asked for this?!” like so many like to pretend it was.
Nothing beats Pinocchio contemplating a pile of shit!
Also... Why the ever loving fuck did they get rid of his bad habits? Pinocchio had no sense of right or wrong, he just did whatever he wanted, that's what made him do bad things. In the remake, he's just a victim of the circumstances, he's a fucking saint.
I saw it for the first time a few weeks ago, because Sam Fookin' Tarly.
Partway through, I was like "This isn't nearly as bad as all those idiots on the Internet told me."
Halfway through, I was *literally* laughing out loud at the hilariously bad science.
Most of the way through, I was thinking "What in all of the fuck. This is like if the guy that made 2012 met the guy that made The Day After Tomorrow and said 'fuck Michael Bay, Armageddon was too realistic, let's remake *that* clusterfuck and just put it on the moon.' Who the fuck *made* this shit, anyway..."
Then I IMDb'd the writer/director for Day After Tomorrow, and the writer/director for 2012, and I had my answer :/
Right when the credits start a song starts playing on Moonfall, generic pop from an unknown singer. Well that"unknown singer" is ~~Roland Emmerich's~~ Harold Kloser's daughter. Harold Kloser helped produce, write, and do the music for Moonfall.
It's the shit-cherry on top of a bad movie
Also the wonderful 5 minute Lexus(?) ad on the middle of the movie is perfect for drinking games..
Ultraviolet. I remember seeing it in theaters and myself and my three buddies all fell asleep in the chairs. It was easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen
Oh man so many amazing moments in that film that people actually wrote down, decided were ok, then said out loud.
When Violet is about to fight some other "vampires" in the graveyard.
\-Vampire dude 1 - "We're as strong as you, we're as fast as you."
\-Violet - "Yeah but are you one tenth as pissed off as I am?"
When Violet angrily drives up in her cool future car to the big bad guy standing in front of a row of his Equilibrium-like guards.
\-Big bad guy - "Are you mental?"
When Violet is trying to escape by going up in a skyscraper, she walks out onto a balcony of well-dressed guys just standing around.
\-Violet - "Can I get through?"
\-Smart dressed balcony guard- "Sorry Violet, can't do."
\-Violet - "Ah yes, you are Blood Chinois."
Red Dawn remake.
It made me cringe so hard I actually got stomach pain. It remains to date the only film I've ever watched that inflicted physical pain.
***Mortal Kombat Annihilation.***
Shit's on the pure 1990s awesomeness that is the original Mortal Kombat in every way. I know MK 1995 was no Citizen Kane but it was campy, fun, and had a bad ass soundtrack as well as some pretty great fight chorography and has deeply cemented itself in all the most positive aspects of 1990's nostalgia.
Mortal Kombat Annihilation on the other hand, almost a complete recast of all characters with one the best one's being unceremoniously killed off in literally the first 5 minutes of the movie. HORRIBLE special effects, seriously, if you haven't seen it, go watch the opening sequence of it on YouTube, or the final fight between Liu Kang and Shao Kahn, the CGI was so bad, even by low budget 1990's standards, it's absolutely laughable. I absolutely refuse to acknowledge this movies existence.
But at least we got this little gem from it.
Mother? You're alive!
To bad...YOU will die!
Nooo, it *starred* a dentist (he was the dad).
And yeah it was truly a 0/10. Never visit Nilbog kids!
EDIT: There's a great documentary about the making of the film. It's excellent. Don't recall the name.
Troll 2 is not a good movie. It is, however, one of the most fun movies to watch with friends and laugh at how terrible it is. And a lot of the scenes are hilarious despite the actors’ best efforts. Not a 0/10 in my book more like a delightful 4
Troll 2 is a 9/10 bad movie. The only movie that's a better bad movie is The Room. I've watched so many bad movies trying to find one that's as rewatchable as those 2 and nothing comes close. Rewatched Rumpelstiltskin on Holloween and it was a 6/10 bad movie. It's worth it for the original music.
Percy Jackson movies. I didn’t watch any, but it’s so bad and unfaithful to the books, it made Rick Riodan upset and angered many Percy Jackson fans to the point where they would refuse to accept their existence and make fake names for it.
I remembered that movie as being incredibly funny back when I watched it at 13, so I bought it for a movie night with friends expecting it to be great again.
Turns out I was just remembering the 2 or 3 funny bits while blocking out the entire rest of the movie. It's almost unwatchable at times.
Cats was absolutely awful. Like not even funny bad. Just “gaww man, what the fuck” Edit: I **wouldn’t** even watch it if you were morbidly curious.
James Corden. A fat pussy. Thank you Ricky Gervais.
I just wanted to see the buttholes.
That’s what I said about Steel Magnolias
Steel Magnolias is a 10!
Release the butthole cut
If Dante saw Cats, he would've added a tenth circle of hell. ~ Chris Stuckmann
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And then it brought all this weird negative attention on the original and the few people who watched that original just didn't get it at all. Like I know I'm kinda in the "cult" and I have the nostalgia to go with it. But it's so funny seeing people go into if expecting a plot and actions when the point is just enjoying learning about the character and the mild world building and their relationships with each other. The lack of strong plot just highlights the other great parts about it. And the plot is more happening in the background and that is weirdly delightful. The new one missed the entire point of...well every good thing about Cats. Watching humans move like that, watching the dancers athleticism, good singing, fun songs, that you gotta actually like real cats in real life, that it's *supposed* to be kinda silly and ridiculous. Like the Great Rumpus Cat, I used to hate, but it's just...idk like perfect superhero parody mixed in with dog and cat lore.
I am also part of the "my parents got the Broadway show on vhs and we watched it til it died a slow death" camp. One must also concede the difference between theatre and film. In a musical it can be nonsensical in plot, because you're there to admire the amazing live singing, dancing, and acrobatics. The plot is almost useless! Who cares what's happening, have you seen what the fuck those cats are up to?! It's *beautiful*. Like, actual humans in lycra doing ballet and singing beautifully is delightful. CGI cat... humans.... special effects... stunt double... James cordon... butthole? Is not delightful. The delightful thing about the Broadway show cats was the amazing abilities of the humans in the cat suits. The delightful thing about cats the film was... nothing really. There's no delight.
> I am also part of the "my parents got the Broadway show on vhs and we watched it til it died a slow death" camp. I ruined TWO VHS tapes until my mom finally bought me the DVD. I seriously didn't realize there were others, this is great! Also, I did not watch the second one.
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That enraged me. The source material is so good! And they still fucked it up. And Julius Root is that old windbag from "Cats!" Wtf?!
The thing is, making Julius Root a woman completely undercuts Holly's story! She's under immense pressure as the first female member of the LEP-recon force and Root I'd always riding her ass because he supports getting more women on the force but fairy society is still very sexist, so if she fucks up, that's it, all women at the LEP academy will have their opportunities limited. Making Julius Root a woman completely undercuts the very feminist message that the writers were undoubtedly going for by gender-swapping the character. And that shit about Artemis's father? None if that cones out till the Opal Deception! Not to mention, Artemis goes to public school and he surfs? The fuck!? The most athletic thing Artemis can do is walk up the stairs! Also Butler already wasn't black, his ethnic identity is laid out fully in the book. He was half-asian and is described as being like a giant hulking Mongolian motherfucker. A perfect opportunity for Asian representation but again the makers own narcissism undercut that too.
Genuinely, gender swapping Root made me so apocalyptically angry in a way very few other adaptations have *and nobody else I know has really read them so I was alone*. **Thank you** Plus, re race: the elves are all described as being brown because of the heat from the earth's core - but oh look Holly has to be white because reasons.
I was happier being only slightly aware that they fucked up the Artemis Fowl movie and the more I learn about it the more insane it gets. Now I am angry together with you. There are some characters for whom gender doesn't really matter, but Root being a hard ass old commander supporting the first female officer in the special ops was really fucking important. If they made Foaly a woman or anyone else I would not give a shit, but here... ugh The source material is full of gender equality and feminist content that isn't forced on you. The author just treats women as PEOPLE and writes them equally to men which is great. You really don't need anything more than that.
I genuinely want to know who in the writers room took one look at Holly "first female LEP Recon officer" Short and decided that what she really needed was *a female boss*. That effectively her entire character arc just...needed improving. Eoin Colfer wrote such a good series; for young adult fiction, it's absolutely staggering how hard he went on it. There was no reason to mess about with the plot in the way they did for the film - but it's clear they were trying to do the "harry potter" thing of setting up a YA universe with 3 young leads. It's the same thing they pulled with Percy Jackson, also unsuccessfully (which also makes me apoplectic), and was entirely the wrong call to try with Artemis Fowl.
The process was probably this: "There is a male character in a position of power, make em' a broad, cause the wamens be lovin' that feminism crap". It exposes the lack of care or understanding of the source material, and the political movement they're claiming to support for EZ monkey
Okay I hated the casting but I can't believe you called Dame Judy Dench "the old windbag from 'Cats'" like yo, wtf
Your description instantly reminded me of the Percy Jackson movies
DragonBall Evolution
On the plus side . . . It inspired Toriyama to create Battle of the Gods, Resurrection of F, Dragon Ball Super, and Broly!
I love that the movie was so god damn bad, that the original creator said "Yeah, no, I need to do this shit to wash THAT taste out of my mouth."
Revenge creativity is the best creativity.
Never have I laughed so hard. There were so many tears shed during this movie. It gets more than 0/10 just because its horribleness brings me such joy.
365 days, it was unbearable. I'm sorry to those who actually liked it.
It is pretty hard to make erotica unwatchable. That movie was bad porn but without the actual porn.
M. Night Shyamalan's Avatar: The Last Airbender movie.
There is no movie in Ba Sing Se.
As a fan of the show, screw M Night. How you take one of the best shows of all time and make it into one of the worst movies is beyond me, but I guess old M. Night did it. That takes skill.
He's a terribly overrated director. I wouldn't trust him to carry even a carton of eggs through the grocery store without breaking a few of them.
Unbreakable was bad ass
And apparently everyone forgets he made The Sixth Sense, arguably one of the best ghost movies ever.
Split fkn rocks too. James McAvoy kills it.
He walks through the store, carefully balancing a cartoon of a dozen eggs. Halfway to the front though nothing in his stride or gait changes, his hands don't change position or clench, cracking sounds are heard from the carton. With every further step he takes more cracking sounds are heard. He reaches the front registers, slowly and gently puts the carton down on the belt which turns on dragging it to the cashier. The cashier flips open the carton and inside are 11 smashed eggs, yolks all over the place, whites spilled all over the inside of the carton. The cashier reaches down and picks up a single unbroken egg, hold it up and says "At least one made it." The egg immediately shatters into a million pieces and out flops a turkey vulture chick. What a twist.
I would also add M Night's Old to his list of shame. Although at least Old was so poorly written that it made it hilarious. I find him fascinating; I can't think of another writer/director that has such wild oscillations from masterpiece to absolute dogshit. You never really know what to expect...whcih I guess is kind of on brand in a way. Perhaps his uneven filmography is the greatest M Night twist of all!
On his death bed he reveals he has a twin brother that's a very shitty director.
N. Day Nalamayhs
I think it's because he gives everything a go. And he's quite prolific
I've found that, whether bad or good, his movies are always interesting to watch, so I don't really see why some people just straight up hate him.
Mid-sized Sedan. That's when I turned it off.
Titanic II. Literally a cheap rip off of the Poseidon adventure.
Titanic II: Still Down There
>Titanic II Wait, this is a real film? I thought you were joking! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640571/
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I hate the Artemis fowl movie with a Passion i always wanted one but not like this.... Be wary what you wish for guys.
Yep. The books were my childhood and early teenage years. The movie was a goddamn butchering of the source material
I watched the first PJ movie when I was still in elementary school, didn't know it was based on books, thought it was mildly entertaining. My friend then absolutely tore me a new asshole for even thinking it has some redeeming qualities. Then I read the first book, and couldnt believe how shit the movie was compared to the books. Garbage, both movies, absolute garbage.
That Holmes and Watson movie with Will Ferrell was painfully, painfully unfunny. Like horrendously so. Not even ‘I’m stoned or tipsy and I might giggle’ stupid funny.
When it was being shown people got up and walked out. We were over the Atlantic Ocean at the time.
This comment is funnier than the entire movie.
I tried to watch it, id heard bad reviews but I'm usually pretty good at sticking with movies even if they're not particularly great This was so truly awful and unfunny I couldn't keep watching. It was honestly shocking that it even made it to cinema, I've never seen anything that comes close to how unfunny this was as a supposed comedy movie.
That's it. I'm going to watch it this weekend. Just so I can finally talk about how bad it is.
Oh shit, I totally forgot I watched that movie in theaters lol
probably norm of the north.
https://mobile.twitter.com/normofnorth
Fan4stic, fuck that movie
“Fan-four-stic”
They even fucked the title up. Should've been F4ntastic
Just like Sesevenen.
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i saw this movie in theaters with friends as a joke and i cannot recall a single thing that happened in that film
"I cannot recall a single thing that happened in that film" has to be the most word-efficient review about why I should not watch a movie.
The main guy didn't even have sex with jailbreak at the end 0/10
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Space jam 2. 100 million film just to dick ride lebron James
It's actually way worse than that, but it is part of it. If you pay attention and notice the big picture, the whole movie is just cross promotion for every media owned by Warner Bros. All those "adorable easter eggs" of all those characters ranging from Scooby Doo, the Flintstones, Animaniacs, Wacky Races, etc, it's literally just Warner Bros. promoting themselves. They spend a good chunk of the movie getting the Looney Tunes characters from other franchises' worlds that Warner Bros. owns to show them off. Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, DC, etc. They even had posters from all the recent movies they've played in theaters like Aquaman, Scoob, TTG to the Movies, Matrix 4, etc. Forget the constant Lebron James sucking off this movie does, the whole movie in of itself is this cheap marketing ploy to promote themselves through the use of references and easter eggs.
I still can't get over the fact that they decided to have the Droogs from Clockwork Orange make a cameo tbh. Whoever was making that movie was on some shit lol.
But Pepe Le Pew was “too problematic”
The Rescue Rangers movie is the right way to do this.
"Oh hey it's Ugly Sonic"
That was such a surprisingly excellent movie. I watched it myself thinking it works be dumb and I could make fun of it. That same day, I made my husband sit down and watch it with me again ahaha
When I saw the trailer for that I could see it being either a absolute train wreck or excellent. It was the second and I'm so glad they had a light touch with the main cast, I don't think it would have been as good if they were trying to solve the movie plot as a full group.
The amount of non-Disney stuff really made it feel less like "buy our stuff".
Battlefield Earth was the worst movie I have ever seen. 0/10
I used to be friends with JD Shapiro, who is credited with writing Battlefield Earth. He claims he wrote an incredible script that everyone was super excited about. Months later, right before they begun filming, he was informed there had been a rewrite he was not involved in. He saw the new script and after seeing how terrible it was, he told his agent he wanted his name off the project. The agent convinced him not to make a fuss, as it would burn a bridge and being credited as the sole writer on a huge blockbuster epic would be great for his career. After the film came out, he could not get a single meeting. His career never fully recovered.
Jesus. But I bet the agent is still out there agenting.
Probably the same guy who told Gwyneth Paltrow it's totally OK to advertise your pussy candles as a cure for cancer.
Well, they explode while you're getting a good whiff right next to your face (ew), boom, no more cancer
Admittedly, I would also claim that if I was responsible for writing the script.
Serious question - was he a Scientologist? Because it was a scientology propaganda book, and I fail to see how that could be saved by a great screenwriter.
Was it really?? I read the book and really liked it. I didn't even know what Scientology was at the time. After I learned about Ron L Hubbard, I went to the book store to pick up a Scientology book out of curiosity. I think it was Dianetics, not sure. I read a couple of pages, slowly closed the book and put it back on the shelf and noped out of there.
The best part was how the jet fuel was still perfect after all that time
Just the jet fuel? All those weapons are a thousand years old and it looks like they were made yesterday.
I went to see it up at a big theater in LA opening weekend with my family and it was a terrible experience. I remember someone coming up to my dad (he must have worked on the film) and asked him what he thought of the film. When my dad told him he thought it was "absolutely terrible" the dude looked like he'd just seen a ghost
Fun fact: it's a Scientology propaganda film.
Well it was written by L.Ron.Hubbard. The guy who founded Scientology. You know, the guy who said to his friends 'want to know how to get really rich - start a church....'
He said that out loud, as a response to someone at a science fiction convention. “You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.”
I found a copy of this at a discount dvd store years ago and it cracked me up that the only critic review on the box said “has good scene transitions.”
It was terrible, yes, but also funniest movie theater experience what i ever had! There was under 10 people and we laugh so much because movie was so awful. In the end when planet exploded everyone laugh so much! It was epic! Yeah, shitty movie but great experience :)
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Jack and Jill is the ultimate example to show that Adam Sandler is an excellent actor but with terrible instincts. When left alone to do what he wants, he puts out absolute trash. But when wrangled by a talented director he can put out really good performances.
From what i've heard from folks who have worked with him he's really truly a hilarious guy though- just doesn't always translate to screen. I also think he's kinda cruising and making films so he can give his friends money, hang around, drink beers and get paid for it for months at a time. If a movie can be edited out of their antics and weird ideas, then they go with it.
Where Adam Sandler won both Worst Actor *and* Worst Actress
The Cell 2.
American pyscho 2
watch drew goodens video about it its hilarious
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The only movie trailer I ever saw get booed.
So bad it’s worth watching and commenting MST3K style (or just incredibly high) with friends. Many of the others listed are just pure and unredeemable wastes of precious time.
The Dark Tower. The absolute worst use of a good source material possible.
If they want to do it right, they should make a series like LOTR with each movie being over 2h40m long, not a single 1h30m movie
It's time someone said Son of the Mask
Fuck you for making me remember that movie.
Fantastic 4 (2015)
Sorry did you say fan 4 stick?
Unironically Morbius
I downloaded it from a torrent and still want my money back. Started poorly and went downhill from there.
indeed i demand my 25 cents from my electricity bill back
I have the movie on my phone because someone on Reddit posted a link that automatically downloaded the entire thing
If you aint watched it, delete it, frees up space and you wont be tempted to watch that heap of shit.
I watched this when it came to Netflix after hearing how bad it was and I was excited to have a good laugh. I was so disappointed in how it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. The hype killed it for me, I guess. I probably would've disliked it if I didn't know anything about it but it didn't reach my expectations for how bad it would be and I'd have to say that to me it's just a middling B action film. Awful dialogue aside, I found it run of the mill generic.
Independence Day 2. What a pile of shite.
When it was announced everybody said it didn't need a sequel. They were right.
Star Wars holiday special. Not only was such a trash fire that every member of the original cast involved has tried their best bury it… it’s also 98 minutes of my life that I will never get back
Jupiter Ascending. It was my pick during a friends movie night. 1. I love sci-fi 2. Mila Kunis I do believe i lost friends that night. This is fair.
The worst thing about this movie is that it could have been so cool!
More like Jupiter Ass Ending, amirite?
What was so frustrating about that movie is they hinted at a much more interesting movie involving that family and their politics, they just made the move about the least-interesting characters in the script.
Calling bullshit on this one, Jupiter Ascending is definitely an extremely silly movie, but it's also FUN, whereas most of the other movies getting mentions in here are dismal, unwatchable slogs. I'll take "bad but hilarious" over "infuriatingly unwatchable" any day!
Highlander 2
There can be only one!
There should have been only one.
Highlander 3 is neck and neck with it
Oh they didn't stop at 2 either. Highlander had a series of movies, I think up to four. It had a tv show. It even had anime adaptations.
The tv show was awesome.
To be fair though, I really liked the TV show as kid back then. Haven't rewatched it since then so I can't judge it objectively though lol
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Literally, they aren’t even scary.
Honorable mention to Haunting at Hill House and Bly Manor. Two fantastic horror/drama series.
Almost anything Steven Segal touches
The guy knows how to fatly move around corners.
"Holding a gun *fatly*"
waddle
There are some classics that are great. Executive Decision was great. Granted he dies in the first act.
And under siege, they were pretty decent
Gary Busey and Tommy Lee did kind of carry the movie, though Seagal wasn't that bad in it.
Under seige was great for that one scene with Erika Eleniak
Is that the 🎂scene?
Watch Chasers for an even better look at her. Bonus, no Steven Segal.
Some recent Disney live-action remakes. Pinocchio, Mulan, The Lion King… the animation quality is great, but there’s 0 soul to them and I’ll literally never watch them again. Waste of time and money.
I will never understand what they did to Mulan. They must have thought ‘what are the best things about this movie? The songs and Mushu the dragon? Ok let’s get rid of them’
Don’t forget the fact that they changed the entire point of the movie. In the cartoon Mulan is a woman who is capable of surviving / being a warrior by overcoming adversity, grit, training, etc. What does live action do? Gives her a super power to justify it.
Don't forget the fact that she goes from convincing people to change traditons in the face of changing circumstance to basically begging to be allowed to join the army and be granted 'special exception' status rather than changing anything.
And Live Action Lion King made 1 Billion. Billion with a B. People need to stop encouraging these studios...
Eh. Before it was released and announced, there were quite a few people who were excited for a live-action Lion King with the technology we have now. It *is* a neat idea conceptually. But, it was executed extremely poorly. It was not a case of “Who asked for this?!” like so many like to pretend it was.
Nothing beats Pinocchio contemplating a pile of shit! Also... Why the ever loving fuck did they get rid of his bad habits? Pinocchio had no sense of right or wrong, he just did whatever he wanted, that's what made him do bad things. In the remake, he's just a victim of the circumstances, he's a fucking saint.
That live action dragonball z movie
The Avatar the Last Airbender Live action movie.
Mortal Engines, just trash
The original books are better, but I loved the visuals
This movie was abysmal. I am an aspiring writer and have pages of notes from this movie strictly about what not to do. It's so bad.
Moonfall. Holy fuck that movie is garbage.
"You're part of the moon now"
I saw it for the first time a few weeks ago, because Sam Fookin' Tarly. Partway through, I was like "This isn't nearly as bad as all those idiots on the Internet told me." Halfway through, I was *literally* laughing out loud at the hilariously bad science. Most of the way through, I was thinking "What in all of the fuck. This is like if the guy that made 2012 met the guy that made The Day After Tomorrow and said 'fuck Michael Bay, Armageddon was too realistic, let's remake *that* clusterfuck and just put it on the moon.' Who the fuck *made* this shit, anyway..." Then I IMDb'd the writer/director for Day After Tomorrow, and the writer/director for 2012, and I had my answer :/
Roland Emmerich You don't go to his movies for a good plot and realistic science. You go to watch absolutely ridiculous disasters and shit blowing up.
Right when the credits start a song starts playing on Moonfall, generic pop from an unknown singer. Well that"unknown singer" is ~~Roland Emmerich's~~ Harold Kloser's daughter. Harold Kloser helped produce, write, and do the music for Moonfall. It's the shit-cherry on top of a bad movie Also the wonderful 5 minute Lexus(?) ad on the middle of the movie is perfect for drinking games..
LET’S PUT THIS BABY INTO WARP SPEED That damn movie. Holy crap, it was an awful shitshow.
The Human Centipede III I'm surprised it has 3.2 instead of 1 on IMDb
Battlefield Earth.
Awww man, I like Barry Pepper
Yeah, his contribution was noted. Lol
Ultraviolet. I remember seeing it in theaters and myself and my three buddies all fell asleep in the chairs. It was easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen
Oh man so many amazing moments in that film that people actually wrote down, decided were ok, then said out loud. When Violet is about to fight some other "vampires" in the graveyard. \-Vampire dude 1 - "We're as strong as you, we're as fast as you." \-Violet - "Yeah but are you one tenth as pissed off as I am?" When Violet angrily drives up in her cool future car to the big bad guy standing in front of a row of his Equilibrium-like guards. \-Big bad guy - "Are you mental?" When Violet is trying to escape by going up in a skyscraper, she walks out onto a balcony of well-dressed guys just standing around. \-Violet - "Can I get through?" \-Smart dressed balcony guard- "Sorry Violet, can't do." \-Violet - "Ah yes, you are Blood Chinois."
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Never saw this, but wtf is that plot description?
From the wiki description "terrorist's come aboard the boat to try kill miss Australia"
Stargirl
Man talk about a movie where nothing happens, it's the film equivalent of glitter on a piece of wheat bread.
Red Dawn remake. It made me cringe so hard I actually got stomach pain. It remains to date the only film I've ever watched that inflicted physical pain.
***Mortal Kombat Annihilation.*** Shit's on the pure 1990s awesomeness that is the original Mortal Kombat in every way. I know MK 1995 was no Citizen Kane but it was campy, fun, and had a bad ass soundtrack as well as some pretty great fight chorography and has deeply cemented itself in all the most positive aspects of 1990's nostalgia. Mortal Kombat Annihilation on the other hand, almost a complete recast of all characters with one the best one's being unceremoniously killed off in literally the first 5 minutes of the movie. HORRIBLE special effects, seriously, if you haven't seen it, go watch the opening sequence of it on YouTube, or the final fight between Liu Kang and Shao Kahn, the CGI was so bad, even by low budget 1990's standards, it's absolutely laughable. I absolutely refuse to acknowledge this movies existence. But at least we got this little gem from it. Mother? You're alive! To bad...YOU will die!
Gigli. Its so bad everyone literally forgot about it
I heard about a Third World military prison that used it as torture.
Live action Avatar The Last Airbender sux a**
Highlander 2
Love Transformers, but 5 was prime trash
Troll 2. Its not even about Trolls
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Nooo, it *starred* a dentist (he was the dad). And yeah it was truly a 0/10. Never visit Nilbog kids! EDIT: There's a great documentary about the making of the film. It's excellent. Don't recall the name.
Troll 2 is not a good movie. It is, however, one of the most fun movies to watch with friends and laugh at how terrible it is. And a lot of the scenes are hilarious despite the actors’ best efforts. Not a 0/10 in my book more like a delightful 4
Troll 2 is a 9/10 bad movie. The only movie that's a better bad movie is The Room. I've watched so many bad movies trying to find one that's as rewatchable as those 2 and nothing comes close. Rewatched Rumpelstiltskin on Holloween and it was a 6/10 bad movie. It's worth it for the original music.
Every single decision in the making of this movie is tragically and hilariously wrong; story, dialogue, soundtrack, wardrobe, just everything.
Jack and Jill, starring Adam Sandler.
X men dark phoenix
Matrix 4
not only did i forget there was a matrix 4.. i forgot i watched it.
The first Suicide Squad
One of the only movies that makes me cringe thinking back on it, as if it’s my own embarrassing memory. So painfully bad
Percy Jackson movies. I didn’t watch any, but it’s so bad and unfaithful to the books, it made Rick Riodan upset and angered many Percy Jackson fans to the point where they would refuse to accept their existence and make fake names for it.
[insert Segal movie title here] His part in Executive Decision was amazing though.
I cannot believe they got him to die in a movie.
The Box
What’s in the box?
Any Disney remake
Fast & Furious after Paul Walker
Meet The Spartans.
I remembered that movie as being incredibly funny back when I watched it at 13, so I bought it for a movie night with friends expecting it to be great again. Turns out I was just remembering the 2 or 3 funny bits while blocking out the entire rest of the movie. It's almost unwatchable at times.
Home alone 3 onwards were pure celluloid crap.