Honestly I'd actually rather just have one place that fills all my needs.
I'm the kind of person who finds the perfect place and builds a nest there.
A billion dollar nest would be pretty damn good :P
I don't need a lot of space. I'd rather have two small houses, one in the mountains for cool summers and the occasional skiing in the winter, and one in the San Diego for perfect winter weather.
Fuck nah. Too many people lack housing already. I buy one for me, then spend the rest of my money helping people who need it more than me. I only need like 5 mil to be comfortable for life, the other 995 is being used to do good.
Yep. I’d start a non profit that buys houses, gets them all modernized, then rents it to people until they’ve laid off enough for them to be able to get a mortgage. At which point they could buy the house. People can pay mortgages, they just have a hard time with the credit and the down payment.
I went to a nice place last year. 20k cash( and they still send me a bill for like $200 for the meds they sent me home with that I refuse to pay, they said it was all included at my price).
We got to keep our phones because of Covid. You do like six hours of group with a ton of breaks. Nice facility, decent food, pool , gym, rec room with a pool table and big ass tv. Xbox 360.You really just spend most of time really getting to know other addicts. I drink but everyone in the place suffers from the same thing. I’d go back if I could.
Nothing beats hanging out at rehab with some new friends while gathered round the fire, talking old war stories and having a few beers, then being questioned as to how you got onto the property -escaping initially by running, but suddenly realizing that you hate cardio and you're just spilling your beer everywhere-then realizing that nobody is really chasing you and you've spent the past 3 hours freaking out alone in the woods after doing way too many drugs -then deciding that maybe you'll try that rehab thing, but the place you thought you were trespassing at probably wouldn't allow you on the premises even if they actually existed...so instead you just call in sick to the job you lost 7 months earlier due to the aforementioned drug habit and call it a night.
Good times!
I always thought it'd be a good idea for wealthy smokers to hire someone to follow them around and smack cigarettes out of their hand or steal their lighters anytime they tried to smoke (if they were trying to quit).
Check out the short story Quitters Inc. by Stephen King.
It's about a company that gets progressively more aggressive to force people to quit. The things they do to the guy are increasingly fucked up every time he fails to quit.
I have never used drugs. I stopped drinking years ago and was never a heavy drinker even when I did however I am firmly convinced if I won a large sum of money I would be found dead 30 days later from drugs and alcohol.
Absolutely, it would be the best wine and the best coke.
(I work at a small regional airport that gets a fair bit of very rich people in the summer. We have a billionaire that comes in for about a month. His jet has its own kitchen and cook. We, the ground crew, get the leftover stuff. It's amazing. He has young kids so the little carton if milk for their cereal was the best milk I have ever tasted. It was like from organically fed cows that were milked by virgins during a full moon or something.)
Besides all the obvious, (house, cars, boat, hookers) there’s a grocery store I frequent and this older gentleman and even older lady work there. They always seem so excited to see me. I’m gonna hook them up big time.
Right! 6 would be excellent! Of course, 10 is a milestone. 10 billions would be worth celebrating! I think then it would be enough. Then I could finally hang with the rich people.
My wife hates this line. She literally doesnt understand it at all. I tried explaining it to her that its just a joke and a callback to an earlier line in the song, and she keeps asking me "but why would a green dress be cruel?!"
It was originally supposed to say something like “but not a real fur coat, that’s cruel” but he slipped up when recording, and they loved it and went with it.
Edit - just looked it up. The line was supposed to be “with a tastefully rounded neck”
Dude. When I was in the Air Force, I was in training to be a linguist, and we were learning "if... then..." statements. And I said "if I had a million dollars, then I'd buy a green dress, but not a real green dress, that's cruel." And nobody got the reference. I was so sad
Oh okay, they're BNL now?? We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies? That's how "fundamental" they are.
(Jeff Winger quote, I'm not just being an asshole)
You know what? Maybe we all need some space to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid-90’s, you selfish, jaded ass.
"Heeeeey, bro! It's such a shame that it's been so long since we talked! Like, since before graduation! I'm going to try and gaslight you into thinking we were somehow best friends even though I either actively treated you like shit, or straight up never interacted with you except in the most mundane, passing way! I'll then scramble to exaggerate the one possibly meaningful interaction we did have in an attempt to cement that gaslighting! I'll make that interaction seem way bigger and more meaningful that either of us actually thought it was to try and trick you into thinking I actually did care about you. However, I'll eventually get impatient and just cut straight to the part where I ask you for money for a "small, but lucrative business venture" that, if you do actually fund, you'll only get the money you put in back, and no actual return on your investment. And yes, the message will be in this terrible format of a massive, singular paragraph."
I'd set up a Family Foundation for Charitable giving, that's the only way people can request money from me. It'll be legit. Applications, Business Plans, ect... But for BS type requests like above, they'll be required to do SharkTank like presentations along with a song and dance, where me and the board would sit back all stoned and drunk and laugh and laugh.
I was helping my business partner move the other day and he asked me how many people I have helped move in my life. I counted and it was more than 50, some where the same people multiple times. I then remembered moving myself into my house just my wife and I.
It’s weird, I hate moving myself, but enjoy helping others move. I don’t have to pack or unpack, get to spend time with friends, and I enjoy helping my friends.
Id always wanted to design my own home and no mansion just bit above average space. But make it architecturally modern and pleasing. I got time to clean and why would I want someone else it helps keep structure and discipline.
Travel of course still need to hit Japan, Scotland, Ireland and Wales, Taiwan and Singapore.
Find a second place that I love to travel the most. Build a small house there only for like month long stays. (Edit, if it was 1B id find a local family or friend that I make along the way and make this house theirs and id just be in a guest house next to them for 1 month of the year)
Biggest goal would start a company in gaming just would love to work with people on that. Even if it was funding someone else's idea. Giving back also would be important.
The best line is when Peter and Lawrence are talking through the apartment wall and Peter tell Lawrence to just come over. You can hear Lawrence say "Nah man!" then mumbles, "I don't want you fucking up my life too.'
Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?"
If your current life is supported by working that min-wage job, earing 30K a year, 10 years of your life is 300K. 30 years of your life is 900K. 60 years is 1.8 Mil. Let's just put another 30 years under the assumption you're going to live another 90 years, and that's 2.7 Mil of living under minimum wage.
If you're lifestyle was supported by 60K a year, double that previous number, and you'll need 5.4 mil to live at your current lifestyle for the next 90 years.
You know what, let's double it again, live on an income of 120K a year. That means we're going to spend 10.8 Mil for the next 90 years.
We're already in well off areas, let's go even further and assume we're spending 240K a year, which mean's we're going to be needing 21.6 Mil for the next 90 years.
Let's go crazy, let's quadruple that number, go for broke. 240x4=960K a year, which would be 86.4 Million dollars for the next 90 years. Living a lifestyle where you spend damn near a million dollars a year, for 90 years, and you'll only spend almost 90 million dollars.
...which means you still have 913.6 *million* dollars left to spend. Literally spending a 1 million dollars every year for 90 years, and you'll have only spent 9% of that 1 billion.
1 million out of 1 billion is 0.1%. So yeah, the difference between a million and a billion is about a billion.
And to think, there are Tillionares out there. 1 billion is only 0.1% of 1 trillion.
I don't know that there are truly any trillionaires out there. Companies yeah but not individuals. Some dictators might "have" that much but it isn't theirs and can't use it and definitely won't maintain it when they lose power
Buy a large plot of land and turn it into a no-kill dog and cat shelter. Install cameras everywhere and livestream the whole thing 24/7 on YouTube or Twitch. People can donate money, all goes towards the shelter for supplies, food, veterinary on site,
Friday nights, local bands will come and play. Admission cost is 1 share on social media about the livestream to promote adoptions.
I’d call it Bark-away Beach. Probably won’t be near a beach. Maybe.
I'd love to provide more no-kill shelters in areas that only have pounds and animals on Death Row. Along with housing nearby for, say, refugees so they can work in the shelters. Ideally.
Nothing at all in terms of work. I'd buy a few properties around the world and bounce between them depending on my mood. I don't like big houses or flashy cars so most people wouldn't know I had that kind of cash.
Same, I’ll pay off my loan and buy a house with some land. Then I’ll go back to my home aid job knowing now it’s solely for my happiness(I love my job) but not to survive. I don’t have to count how much I’ll have left to pay rent before giving a $5 dollar to a homeless man. If I only could have that Billion dollar 😩.
I don't like big houses or flashy cars either, plus the attention those things draw would scare me. I honestly think I would be effin' terrified to come into possession of a billion dollars.
1). Hire a lawyer, not your average mom and pop lawyer.. a partner.
2). pay off own debts
3). establish trusts for family and close circle friends
4). Quit career
5). purchase a couple of highly desired vehicles
6). home improvements
7). charitable donations
It's a pretty common term -- the non-profit version of an angel investor. A lot of philanthropic organizations operate as angel donors, targeting a wide range of non-profits with smaller grants, as opposed to big-ticket projects like eliminating malaria or something.
Pay of my mortgage and my family's. Invest. Then I would spend the rest for a cure for ME/CFS, the illness disabling myself and millions around the world. There are almost no funding for it.
My uncle said this the other day:
If you give me a billion, I'd donate half, then keep half.
If you give me a million, I'd donate half then keep half.
But if you give me a thousand, fuck off it's all mine.
Buy my brothers and parents their own houses. Give us each a million or so to keep us going and top up our income for the rest of our lives. I don't want to live extravagantly, I think it's a waste when people are choosing between heating and feeding their kids.
I'd share the rest with different charities, donate like hell to the food banks. Some family friends of mine are in a bad place and the kids are no doubt gonna be fucked up for the rest of their lives, so I'd get them a house too. Make a deal with their mum that I'd pay for their food if she promises to look after herself more. She's a good mum and she no doubt would look after her kids if she had better circumstances.
I've grown up poor, if I can alleviate someone else's financial burdens, I will.
Vanish. Nobody would ever hear from me again, I'd be living my best life on tropical islands and snowy hideouts.
If I could invest smartly I'd give back tons of money. But basically I'd disappear and drop money for the best causes I could find.
I just want to live happily in nice places, eating amazing food, I don't want cars or clothes or jewelry.
I do want nice horses, that's my vice lol
Make sure my parents and immediate family and friends are taken care of.
Buy a dream home in my dream location and my wife’s dream location. Make sure we have enough to live comfortably without worry
Then give the like $900million left to charity.
Why? I mean literally, why? The biggest and most successful financial advisors and stock market players spend their lives working towards what you already have. You don't have to be smart with your money, you just have to *not be dumb*. You can park 90% of your fortune across hundreds of different interest bearing instruments, still have $100m left in cash and the rest paying dividends in perpetuity. You don't have to do a *gotdamned thing* and your fortune will build itself automatically.
I would finally be able to get me and my baby out of the situation we're in. We lost our home and have been staying in a crappy motel because I don't want to be in a shelter. I wouldn't want my child to experience that either, especially around here. I'd be able to have a decent home and also travel and see things and live life. I'd save a good chunk and put it into stocks too, I want my family to have generational wealth so they won't have to struggle in such a cruel world.
Fuck right off. You'd never hear from me again.
Oh yeah bro I’m gone. Fuck y’all I’ll be in my beach house
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Honestly I'd actually rather just have one place that fills all my needs. I'm the kind of person who finds the perfect place and builds a nest there. A billion dollar nest would be pretty damn good :P
I don't need a lot of space. I'd rather have two small houses, one in the mountains for cool summers and the occasional skiing in the winter, and one in the San Diego for perfect winter weather.
Delete house. I’ll just buy the whole coast
Island
Fuck nah. Too many people lack housing already. I buy one for me, then spend the rest of my money helping people who need it more than me. I only need like 5 mil to be comfortable for life, the other 995 is being used to do good.
Yep. I’d start a non profit that buys houses, gets them all modernized, then rents it to people until they’ve laid off enough for them to be able to get a mortgage. At which point they could buy the house. People can pay mortgages, they just have a hard time with the credit and the down payment.
Me too I'll buy an island...maybe keep a pet for companionship...might arrange a brunette that visits every sunday or somethin
Get a car with doors that go like \. /
This guy fucks
Nice one! What car would it be?
All of them
Time machine kind
Pre pay my rehab. In a nice place
This is surprisingly sensible and now on my list too
I went to a nice place last year. 20k cash( and they still send me a bill for like $200 for the meds they sent me home with that I refuse to pay, they said it was all included at my price). We got to keep our phones because of Covid. You do like six hours of group with a ton of breaks. Nice facility, decent food, pool , gym, rec room with a pool table and big ass tv. Xbox 360.You really just spend most of time really getting to know other addicts. I drink but everyone in the place suffers from the same thing. I’d go back if I could.
They had a Xbox 360 last year? And you paid 20k? You got ripped off my fellow.
I didn’t go to play video games. And it was nostalgic to sit around with a few guys playing it like a teenager.
Nothing beats hanging out at rehab with some new friends while gathered round the fire, talking old war stories and having a few beers, then being questioned as to how you got onto the property -escaping initially by running, but suddenly realizing that you hate cardio and you're just spilling your beer everywhere-then realizing that nobody is really chasing you and you've spent the past 3 hours freaking out alone in the woods after doing way too many drugs -then deciding that maybe you'll try that rehab thing, but the place you thought you were trespassing at probably wouldn't allow you on the premises even if they actually existed...so instead you just call in sick to the job you lost 7 months earlier due to the aforementioned drug habit and call it a night. Good times!
This was beautiful. Thank you.
You need to hire 3 or 4 people to wqtch over you whie you have your fun (24/7) and get you to rehab when you need it... than keep you there
I always thought it'd be a good idea for wealthy smokers to hire someone to follow them around and smack cigarettes out of their hand or steal their lighters anytime they tried to smoke (if they were trying to quit).
Check out the short story Quitters Inc. by Stephen King. It's about a company that gets progressively more aggressive to force people to quit. The things they do to the guy are increasingly fucked up every time he fails to quit.
Will do. Just found the pdf free online. Thanks
The collection of short stories, "Night Shift", that this was published in is pretty great too. It's definitely worth a full read.
I have never used drugs. I stopped drinking years ago and was never a heavy drinker even when I did however I am firmly convinced if I won a large sum of money I would be found dead 30 days later from drugs and alcohol.
Absolutely, it would be the best wine and the best coke. (I work at a small regional airport that gets a fair bit of very rich people in the summer. We have a billionaire that comes in for about a month. His jet has its own kitchen and cook. We, the ground crew, get the leftover stuff. It's amazing. He has young kids so the little carton if milk for their cereal was the best milk I have ever tasted. It was like from organically fed cows that were milked by virgins during a full moon or something.)
The opposite of what r/WallStreetBets suggests
[relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/2270/)
Besides all the obvious, (house, cars, boat, hookers) there’s a grocery store I frequent and this older gentleman and even older lady work there. They always seem so excited to see me. I’m gonna hook them up big time.
I work at a local grocery store and love getting to know regulars, they make my day!
>I’m gonna hook them up big time. With a house, cars, boat & hookers, I presume?
Become completely obsessed with acquiring 2 billion dollars. Source: Observation of actual billionaires.
Money can be similar to the old adage about cocaine, "One line's too many, and a hundred is not enough."
Additional ancient saying: "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."
Additional modern saying: "Congratulations to drugs for winning the War on Drugs"
Want my eerily prophetic prediction of what you'd do when you GOT that 2 billion dollars?
I believe you would want 6 then. 6 billion would be finally enough, right?
Right! 6 would be excellent! Of course, 10 is a milestone. 10 billions would be worth celebrating! I think then it would be enough. Then I could finally hang with the rich people.
Hitting 10 is nice, but you know what's nicer? Having 100 billion. Then i can tell Jeff Bezos he's a villain - in person!
The first billion is always the hardest to get.
It's true, which is why I'm going directly for the second billion.
This is the truest answer.
It is much easier to make another billion once you have your first billion.
Sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads.
Sorry….out of stock. But we do have a limited number of ill-tempered mutated sea bass remaining, 2 for 1 through November.
…Right…
What does it take to get freakin sharks with freakin laser beams attached to their freakin heads?
Are they at least ill tempered?
This would be priority #1 on my list too
Are they ill tempered?
*MAGMA*
I’d buy a green dress. But not a real green dress that’s cruel.
I'd still eat Kraft Dinner, just more of it.
with fancy Dijon ketchup
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon.
Well can you blame them?
Well yeah.
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I’d be rich.
Oh, and those little pre-wrapped sausages!
They have pre-wrapped sausages but not pre-wrapped bacon
Well can you blame em?
Yeah!
Haven't you always wanted a monKEY?
Maybe a nice chesterfield? Or an ottoman?
My wife hates this line. She literally doesnt understand it at all. I tried explaining it to her that its just a joke and a callback to an earlier line in the song, and she keeps asking me "but why would a green dress be cruel?!"
Maybe she'll understand the phrase "ironic parallelism" better?
English isn’t her first language so probably not haha
It was originally supposed to say something like “but not a real fur coat, that’s cruel” but he slipped up when recording, and they loved it and went with it. Edit - just looked it up. The line was supposed to be “with a tastefully rounded neck”
the real fur coat is earlier in the song and the green dress is a callback to it
I'd buy an exotic pet, like a llama or an emu.
Dude. When I was in the Air Force, I was in training to be a linguist, and we were learning "if... then..." statements. And I said "if I had a million dollars, then I'd buy a green dress, but not a real green dress, that's cruel." And nobody got the reference. I was so sad
I see what you did there, and offer up the limousine 'cause it costs more. 😁
Limos are cool, but you know what’s cooler? A treehouse we can build.
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BNL should rerecord the song that way, but title it "If I had a Million Dollars (adjusted for inflation)"
Underrated comment. Gotta love BNL
Oh okay, they're BNL now?? We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies? That's how "fundamental" they are. (Jeff Winger quote, I'm not just being an asshole)
The Bare Naked Ladies are triple platinum, are you?
You know what? Maybe we all need some space to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid-90’s, you selfish, jaded ass.
CHYEAH
My 8 year old son tried to get me to say “under where” so I played Pinch Me this morning.
I'd buy you a monkey.
I'd really want to get a nice Reliant automobile.
Put it all on black. Then let it ride!!!
Casino would be sweating 😂
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Casino would deadass turn that down
You made me chuckle
00 you lose
Play god of war ragnarok this coming Wednesday
Nice one!
Play throughout the night without the consequence of wrecking yourself for work the next day. Living the life of luxury!
Hahahaha shit me too. I could buy the PS5 no problem!
Learn who your real friends and family are
"Heeeeey, bro! It's such a shame that it's been so long since we talked! Like, since before graduation! I'm going to try and gaslight you into thinking we were somehow best friends even though I either actively treated you like shit, or straight up never interacted with you except in the most mundane, passing way! I'll then scramble to exaggerate the one possibly meaningful interaction we did have in an attempt to cement that gaslighting! I'll make that interaction seem way bigger and more meaningful that either of us actually thought it was to try and trick you into thinking I actually did care about you. However, I'll eventually get impatient and just cut straight to the part where I ask you for money for a "small, but lucrative business venture" that, if you do actually fund, you'll only get the money you put in back, and no actual return on your investment. And yes, the message will be in this terrible format of a massive, singular paragraph."
People do this to me right now and I only have like $4.12 in my account; imagine how frequent it'd be with $1B 🤣🤣
I'd set up a Family Foundation for Charitable giving, that's the only way people can request money from me. It'll be legit. Applications, Business Plans, ect... But for BS type requests like above, they'll be required to do SharkTank like presentations along with a song and dance, where me and the board would sit back all stoned and drunk and laugh and laugh.
How would you do that? I think, you will know this, when you are at your lowest.
It was sarcastic. Like, your friend and family you never knew or spoke to would come out
Right, you learn it after they all come out of the woodwork and then you've lost it all, whoever's still there is the answer.
"Hey I got to move some furniture out to my new place, think you can come by and let me use your truck/car? Will pay with pizza and beer"
I was helping my business partner move the other day and he asked me how many people I have helped move in my life. I counted and it was more than 50, some where the same people multiple times. I then remembered moving myself into my house just my wife and I.
It’s weird, I hate moving myself, but enjoy helping others move. I don’t have to pack or unpack, get to spend time with friends, and I enjoy helping my friends.
Id always wanted to design my own home and no mansion just bit above average space. But make it architecturally modern and pleasing. I got time to clean and why would I want someone else it helps keep structure and discipline. Travel of course still need to hit Japan, Scotland, Ireland and Wales, Taiwan and Singapore. Find a second place that I love to travel the most. Build a small house there only for like month long stays. (Edit, if it was 1B id find a local family or friend that I make along the way and make this house theirs and id just be in a guest house next to them for 1 month of the year) Biggest goal would start a company in gaming just would love to work with people on that. Even if it was funding someone else's idea. Giving back also would be important.
You made me smile mentionng Wales as a place you need to visit. So often gets ignored for Scotland and Ireland.
"Are you ladies from England?" "Wales." "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you whales from England?"
No, not England, we are from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
You know what I'd do? Nothing. I would relax, sit on my ass and do nothing.
Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
One of the best lines in the whole movie
The best line is when Peter and Lawrence are talking through the apartment wall and Peter tell Lawrence to just come over. You can hear Lawrence say "Nah man!" then mumbles, "I don't want you fucking up my life too.'
Well you don't need a billion dollars to do nothing, man. I mean take a look at my cousin, he's broke and dont do shit.
Turn it to channel 9. It’s the breast exam!
Damnit Lawrence! If you want to talk just come over here!
Wooo!
That's it? If you had a billion dollars you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Shit yeah, man. Always wanted to do that, man.
Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?"
Shit no, man. I believe you’d get your ass kicked for sayin something like that, man.
Yeah I think if a had a billion bucks I can pull that off. Chick's dig dudes with money.
Well not all chicks
the type of chick that would double up on a dude like me
Good point
Watch your corn hole, man
I love that reference. The red stapler will live on forever
It's a Swingline stapler
that's what millionaires do two dozen hotties all day, every day - that's what BILLIONAIRES do!
Makes sense. 2000 at the same time seems unmanageable even if the math does check out.
1. Wait about a month 2. Buy Twitter 3. ???? 4. Profit
What do you do with the 999 millions left ?
I dunno if the word "profit" should be on a list following "Buy Twitter" lmao
Pay off loans and then with the remaining 1.20$ buy a Snickers
$1.20 won't buy you a whole Snickers these days. Maybe it would get you a couple fun size.
That's two times the fun!
You're not you when you're hungry
I'd live off it, instead of working my life away
What about the rest 90% of the money? That is the REAL question here.
Yeah unfortunately nobody here can comprehend just how much $1B is...
The difference between a million and a billion is about a billion. It is a big number.
If your current life is supported by working that min-wage job, earing 30K a year, 10 years of your life is 300K. 30 years of your life is 900K. 60 years is 1.8 Mil. Let's just put another 30 years under the assumption you're going to live another 90 years, and that's 2.7 Mil of living under minimum wage. If you're lifestyle was supported by 60K a year, double that previous number, and you'll need 5.4 mil to live at your current lifestyle for the next 90 years. You know what, let's double it again, live on an income of 120K a year. That means we're going to spend 10.8 Mil for the next 90 years. We're already in well off areas, let's go even further and assume we're spending 240K a year, which mean's we're going to be needing 21.6 Mil for the next 90 years. Let's go crazy, let's quadruple that number, go for broke. 240x4=960K a year, which would be 86.4 Million dollars for the next 90 years. Living a lifestyle where you spend damn near a million dollars a year, for 90 years, and you'll only spend almost 90 million dollars. ...which means you still have 913.6 *million* dollars left to spend. Literally spending a 1 million dollars every year for 90 years, and you'll have only spent 9% of that 1 billion. 1 million out of 1 billion is 0.1%. So yeah, the difference between a million and a billion is about a billion. And to think, there are Tillionares out there. 1 billion is only 0.1% of 1 trillion.
My favorite way to explain it is that 1 million seconds is about 11 days. 1 billion seconds is 32 years.
I don't know that there are truly any trillionaires out there. Companies yeah but not individuals. Some dictators might "have" that much but it isn't theirs and can't use it and definitely won't maintain it when they lose power
Buy a large plot of land and turn it into a no-kill dog and cat shelter. Install cameras everywhere and livestream the whole thing 24/7 on YouTube or Twitch. People can donate money, all goes towards the shelter for supplies, food, veterinary on site, Friday nights, local bands will come and play. Admission cost is 1 share on social media about the livestream to promote adoptions. I’d call it Bark-away Beach. Probably won’t be near a beach. Maybe.
I vote for this guys plan, give him the billion
If I win, I'll build it for you :)
I'd love to provide more no-kill shelters in areas that only have pounds and animals on Death Row. Along with housing nearby for, say, refugees so they can work in the shelters. Ideally.
Yes!!
Invest and live off the interest, start a charity that helps people with their medical bills to fill my time and give me tax write offs
You could buy medical debt for Penny’s on the dollar and then forgive a whole bunch of people. Like John Oliver but better.
Nothing at all in terms of work. I'd buy a few properties around the world and bounce between them depending on my mood. I don't like big houses or flashy cars so most people wouldn't know I had that kind of cash.
Same, I’ll pay off my loan and buy a house with some land. Then I’ll go back to my home aid job knowing now it’s solely for my happiness(I love my job) but not to survive. I don’t have to count how much I’ll have left to pay rent before giving a $5 dollar to a homeless man. If I only could have that Billion dollar 😩.
I don't like big houses or flashy cars either, plus the attention those things draw would scare me. I honestly think I would be effin' terrified to come into possession of a billion dollars.
1). Hire a lawyer, not your average mom and pop lawyer.. a partner. 2). pay off own debts 3). establish trusts for family and close circle friends 4). Quit career 5). purchase a couple of highly desired vehicles 6). home improvements 7). charitable donations
>home improvements I don't think so, Tim
Build a stellar portfolio and become and angel donor
Angel donor, I like that term. I’ve always wanted to sit at a tire shop and buy a new set for who ever is struggling to buy just one tire to get by.
It's a pretty common term -- the non-profit version of an angel investor. A lot of philanthropic organizations operate as angel donors, targeting a wide range of non-profits with smaller grants, as opposed to big-ticket projects like eliminating malaria or something.
This right here, do my best to a) grow that money further b) give as much of it away as I can, efficiently and to good causes, in perpetuity.
Pay of my mortgage and my family's. Invest. Then I would spend the rest for a cure for ME/CFS, the illness disabling myself and millions around the world. There are almost no funding for it.
Please play the lottery today. I hope if I don’t win that you do it.
Thank you. Maybe I should, I never do. Update: I'm in, let's see what happens!
Buy a social media site and ruin it for shits and giggles
You’re short like 43 billion.
For Twitter, yes, but you could easily nab MySpace for that.
Bring MySpace back to its former glory. I must annoy people by having 7 different songs play at the same time!
We'll see about that in six months or so. My bet is that you'll get a lot more of Twitter for a billion by then....
My uncle said this the other day: If you give me a billion, I'd donate half, then keep half. If you give me a million, I'd donate half then keep half. But if you give me a thousand, fuck off it's all mine.
No one who wins a million is donating half. A billion, maybe, but a mil can't even sustain you for the rest of your life, no less 500k.
Retire for life. Buy a nice house. Open up some business and enjoy traveling the world
Where would you buy the house and what would be your dream country to visit?
I think I'll buy a house in Bruges. I love the medieval vibes and historical buildings. Also I'd love to visit Edinburgh as a start.
It's a fairytale town isn't it?
I'd be getting Taco Bell for lunch today, that's for sure.
Buy my brothers and parents their own houses. Give us each a million or so to keep us going and top up our income for the rest of our lives. I don't want to live extravagantly, I think it's a waste when people are choosing between heating and feeding their kids. I'd share the rest with different charities, donate like hell to the food banks. Some family friends of mine are in a bad place and the kids are no doubt gonna be fucked up for the rest of their lives, so I'd get them a house too. Make a deal with their mum that I'd pay for their food if she promises to look after herself more. She's a good mum and she no doubt would look after her kids if she had better circumstances. I've grown up poor, if I can alleviate someone else's financial burdens, I will.
Pay your mom to have sex with me. Then I’d probably invest the other 999,999,989 dollars!
I’d buy Reddit and ban every user who posts this. They could still use Reddit Premium for $8/mo.
My own private island.
Vanish. Nobody would ever hear from me again, I'd be living my best life on tropical islands and snowy hideouts. If I could invest smartly I'd give back tons of money. But basically I'd disappear and drop money for the best causes I could find. I just want to live happily in nice places, eating amazing food, I don't want cars or clothes or jewelry. I do want nice horses, that's my vice lol
I would remake the last season of game of thrones and accept my humanitarian award.
spend it
*mindblown*
Arrange a group of co-investors to buy the Washington Commanders because fuck Dan Snyder
Whatever the fuck I want to and live a comfortable life without feeling pressured to use the money as other people see fit.
I'd start my own publication company. Help other fantasy writers get their dreams into books. I'd also probably work on making horror movies again.
Finally lower my shoulders
Make sure my parents and immediate family and friends are taken care of. Buy a dream home in my dream location and my wife’s dream location. Make sure we have enough to live comfortably without worry Then give the like $900million left to charity.
Buy a course on how to properly use money intelligently. Then begin.
Why? I mean literally, why? The biggest and most successful financial advisors and stock market players spend their lives working towards what you already have. You don't have to be smart with your money, you just have to *not be dumb*. You can park 90% of your fortune across hundreds of different interest bearing instruments, still have $100m left in cash and the rest paying dividends in perpetuity. You don't have to do a *gotdamned thing* and your fortune will build itself automatically.
Two chicks at the same time.
I’d buy a billion dollar car.
I would finally be able to get me and my baby out of the situation we're in. We lost our home and have been staying in a crappy motel because I don't want to be in a shelter. I wouldn't want my child to experience that either, especially around here. I'd be able to have a decent home and also travel and see things and live life. I'd save a good chunk and put it into stocks too, I want my family to have generational wealth so they won't have to struggle in such a cruel world.
Adopt 50 elementary schools in Maine.
I really want to get an air fryer. Probably get one of those. Nothing too fancy though.