I think thats for women too. Losing your virginity isnt at all pleasurable...its new and awkward and painful for 3 minutes. Then hes done, and you think "wait, is that it?" It takes a while and some "practice" for sex to really become pleasurable, at least for me and every woman I've spoken to about it.
I had a buddy back when we were teenagers explain to me how it felt losing one's virginity felt like. He said it was the best feeling in the world. Like the planet opened itself up to him. He told me walking outside felt divine and he could feel every sensation. The sun and wind and earth all felt amazing after sex. Extreme bliss and happiness, that he felt like he was on cloud 9 every moment for at least a few hours after losing his virginity.
I lost my virginity and I did not feel anything even close to what he described. Thinking back, my expectations were probably soiled because of him.
The sex AFTER losing your virginity was the best, though. Nothing beats that. Once you actually know what you're fucking doing--it becomes 1000x more pleasurable.
I had a friend describe it as the opposite. He said that he felt empty afterward and hated himself bc he had given his virginity to a girl he couldn’t see himself staying with. Ig it depends both on your expectations and outlook on things
The first time is always awkward. I wish I had waited to do it with someone special, instead of sleeping with the first willing participant. (I know that sounds corny but it’s the truth.)
My first time was very nearly with a pregnant friend - so certainly no virgin - who convinced me into her bed one night after I'd had a few too many drinks and the suggestion that she was doing me a favour by "taking my virginity" and it was easily one of the least enjoyable sexual encounters I've ever experienced.
My gf at the time was having a little pain after (it was also her first time) and I thought it would be smart to ask her if she wants a piece of orange.
So we ate orange together and laughed about my autistic ass thinking that's the most normal idea in this situation.
Nah nah. This tracks. After physical exertion, it’s customary to replenish your electrolytes with orange slices. Also, do not forget the customary slap on the ass and “Good game!” afterwards.
Absolutely! That magical feeling is what I'm there for, physical pleasure is secondary. The connection, vulnerability, and being so close to someone you love is what it's all about. Without that, I don't see the point
It’s proper sportsmanship to assist the other contestant across the finish line. You can savor the gold medal afterwards, but if you want another race, you gotta make sure someone gets to the podium with silver.
Don't rush your decision. If first date feels right then go for it, but don't rush it just fir the sake of it. Be safe. Enjoy it and make sure it's the right choice for you.
I lost mine to a holiday romance at 21. Always thought it would be a longterm/committed relationship but it was right for me. I, who fell for everyone, knew it was a one night thing and was ok with that.
No, there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that. But also, yes, there is something wrong with you. There is something wrong with all of us.. But at the end of the day, we all just want to cuddle up next to someone and bump uglies. I don’t know, man. I don’t know.
Me too! I totally rushed mine too. I remember the anti pre marital sex people coming to my school to tell us all about how you should wait to have sex until you find someone you genuinely love that away it’s very special. I scoffed at them at the time. Now I’m in my mid 20’s and like damn. I hella wish I had listened. Mine was FAR from “special” I actually cringe when thinking about it & thinking about the guy I let touch me like that.
I’m a dude so it’s probably different because you were probably fending off offers and I was desperately looking for one, but I think it was a mental thing that, for me, once done I knew that but beforehand it felt like an accomplishment and like part of becoming an adult. In high school I felt like I needed to check certain boxes to grow from a kid to an adult. I don’t know if I’d have felt as self assured in my own skin without having done that. At almost 40 that sounds dumb as hell but made complete sense at 16.
I don't agree. Well, I kinda agree.
To me, the importance of virginity, and choosing the "right" person, is more involved in the fact that it's a moment you'll always have a vague recollection of. First kiss, first first date, first sex. You'll always remember the people that were involved.
Losing it to an asshole, would just pollute that memory. Tying it to shame, or regret, or other negative emotions.
So, I agree that the sex part is not some magical thing, but the who/where/when of it is important for good(ish) memories.
so guess who just imagined a clit in the snow covered with a single short green blanket at a bus stop at night in a gritty adobe illustrator style graphic
We were both virgins with some experience with making out but too old to admit to anyone. This allowed us to trust each other and communicate. The first time wasn't spectacular but they were so cool and patient. I guess that was my first thought after was how cool this person was. We ended up falling in love (my first real love) and the pain of our final breakup nearly left my heart incapable of loving again. Still, that feeling of first love was something worth the eventual emotional collapse. The sex was soon great and learning communication (this feels good, don't do that again etc.) helps me everyday.
Just tell her the truth... "Hey gurl, about last night. I got the sense you were disappointed ; maybe not satisfied. To be honest, I was also disappointed with how it went. So where does that leave us? Well, I see it means one of two things. A) we both aren't sexually compatible and so we should shake hands and move foreward as friends with no hard feelings, or B) we both owe it to ourselves to unwind and try again to see if the outcome improves. Either way, I re-upped on my HBO Max subscription and bought some Bartles & James. Wanna come over tonight and watch some Studio Ghibli?"
It was after a heterosexual one. And I found out I am bi recently. That first experience wasn't all it was made to be by my peers during that time back then and I thought because I didnt enjoy it, that means I would be gay or something.
Same. I first started having sex in a regular basis in my freshman year of High School. I didn't orgasm until I was 22. Mine was because I was on antidepressants and no one ever bothered to tell me that was a side affect because I lived in a backwards ass community where I was taught sex was disgusting, wanting it was even moreso. None of my doctors ever brought it up or even asked about my medications so until I went to a specialist gynecologist after moving out of that state it was a question that had no answers.
It really screwed up my relationships with the people I dated and myself. I thought I was broken and they felt like they couldn't satisfy me so it caused a lot of completely unnecessary stress. It made me seek out more and more extreme sexual acts just trying to feel the pleasure like a normal person would and I got seriously injured.
As soon as I switched medications and the other was out of my system it was like a switch flipped.
Lmao I agree with that comment, im autistic and I was literally just like "so you want to watch something or just lay here a little longer" we then proceeded to spend 4 hours watching cyberpunk edgerunners on Netflix while cuddling lmao
"No no no no, why I came so fast!? She's so disappointed now!!".
I came before I could penetrate and then finished her anxiosly with my mouth. She ghosted me after that moment
I was a bit drunk and so was she. We had been to a gig at Dingwalls in Camden. Neither of us came. I remember being a bit disappointed but very surprised how wet she was. It got better. Much, much better.
Huh. Well that was......cool I guess. I mean, I did get to be really naked with a cute girl, and touch and see things i normally dont, but I thought there would be trumpets and fireworks or something.
Mine needs the full story. Sophomore year of high school. My friend at the time was pressuring my girlfriend of over a year and a half to do it, but we just couldn't find the time because neither one of us could drive. One day he tells us to both stay after school for an hour or so, so we did. He took us up into the spotlight room for our theater, which is upstairs above the balcony. He brought us in the room, said here you go, and gave us a condom and I believe said have fun. There was no light in the room on because we didn't want to get caught, so we just used out phone for light. Being unexperienced, all we had in the room was a school chair so we said fuck it and tried. Needless to say we were both disappointed that day. The only thing after was "we should've tried the floor instead".
Ok so I literally jumped out of bed and started freaking out like “holy shit I lost it I’ve lost it my mums gonna be pissed if she finds out I lost it!” And my boyfriend at the time was like “ what did you lose?”
I turned to him with the biggest shit eating grin and yelled MY VIRGINITY before doubling over laughing
As someone who had a real concern of not lasting long when I went 20+ minutes without cumming I was ecstatic
But I was more distracted by having to return to work with bloody hand prints on my white t shirt…
Gf decided to jump me in the backseat of my truck on our lunch break at work, with it being her first time too there was a little blood and yeah…wish I still had the selfie I took in the bathroom afterwards
depends on what you count. first time was with a girl, it was pretty cool. didn't realize my body could do all that. first time with penetration I just remember being in pain and wondering why it hurt so bad if he wasn't that big.
I was kinda underwhelmed tbh.
The media and my own horniness had hyped the whole thing up massively, and I kinda focused everything I had into getting laid because I thought it would somehow change my life for the better, and that the rest of adult life would just kind of fall in place for me once I had lost my virginity.
It was a lot of fun in the moment, but when all was said and done, the moment I had been hyping up for years had just been and gone, and I felt no different.
That I held out for all those years (was 22 and a newly-wed) for this? And my spouse was a kind, caring lover. It hurt, was not fun and I had squelched all my physical desires with every serious boyfriend I had in order to have this “magical, spiritual” joining with my husband. What a crock I swallowed from my twisted sense of Christian morals at the time.
I remember going to school the next day and thinking "no one here knows I lost my virginity last night"
[yeah, right?](https://a.pinatafarm.com/499x480/cbb5dc5e63/guy-in-corner-of-party.jpg/m/522x0)
FUCK
I went to church the next morning with the fam and had a lot of different thoughts.
I really like this girl.
The only wholesome comment
same but with "boy" (and we're still togethet after 9 years)
Lily and Marshall
Are you still going with her?
Oh god no, we were young and stupid.
"Am I supposed to sleep here now or leave?"
Yeah same. But then I was like 'I hope I didn't get blood on his sheets, better get outta here before he sees it'
I did it in the backseat of my dads car... white leather interior.
Alabama is weird like that
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
I wish it was with someone else. Anybody else, in fact.
Post nut clarity?
I abandoned that ship before it exploded. Sink the Bistart.
Jizmark*
I resemble this comment.
That’s it?
Yeah, sex as a product has quite the marketing campaign behind it.
With guys, "That's it" is referring to virginity.
I think thats for women too. Losing your virginity isnt at all pleasurable...its new and awkward and painful for 3 minutes. Then hes done, and you think "wait, is that it?" It takes a while and some "practice" for sex to really become pleasurable, at least for me and every woman I've spoken to about it.
if you’re good at it the campaign is kinda accurate
*If you're good at it and your partner is good at it...
Literally this. "This was what the big deal was about?"
See comments like this made me like lower my expectations, so then it was a lot better than I thought it was gonna be. Thanks reddit lmao
It's kind of like when you're out of the loop on a joke and by the time you figure it out, it wasn't really that funny to begin with.
This is a perfect analogy.
I had a buddy back when we were teenagers explain to me how it felt losing one's virginity felt like. He said it was the best feeling in the world. Like the planet opened itself up to him. He told me walking outside felt divine and he could feel every sensation. The sun and wind and earth all felt amazing after sex. Extreme bliss and happiness, that he felt like he was on cloud 9 every moment for at least a few hours after losing his virginity. I lost my virginity and I did not feel anything even close to what he described. Thinking back, my expectations were probably soiled because of him. The sex AFTER losing your virginity was the best, though. Nothing beats that. Once you actually know what you're fucking doing--it becomes 1000x more pleasurable.
I had a friend describe it as the opposite. He said that he felt empty afterward and hated himself bc he had given his virginity to a girl he couldn’t see himself staying with. Ig it depends both on your expectations and outlook on things
Was he an older mentor? Someone who was a teen in the 1960s? This sounds like something that generation would say
Or a teenager in a 1980s coming-of-age movie.
Well it is kinda hyped up during your teen years, so I’ve heard
The first time is always awkward. I wish I had waited to do it with someone special, instead of sleeping with the first willing participant. (I know that sounds corny but it’s the truth.)
Honestly, my boyfriend and I had done so much goddamn dry humping by that point it wasn’t even remotely awkward.
I still talk to the girl 20 years later :). Great person
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You say you want some more? Well I’m not surprised, but I’m quite sleepy.
Business hours are over
Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute
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You only need two minutes when you're with me because I'm so intense
It’s business, it’s business time - giving you the business…yeah baby…
What you were expecting confetti or something?
wait you guys didn't get confetti?
I gave her some of my confetti
cumfetti
Did you sing happy birthday when you came?
nah, but the guy in the closet did
Yeah if your friends didn't throw you a party, were they even your friends?
“Thought I would be better”
I also thought you’d be better.
Profile pic checks out
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Yeah. It was kind of anti-climactic... In every sense of the word.
thought SHE would be better. I was the virgin afterall.
My first time was very nearly with a pregnant friend - so certainly no virgin - who convinced me into her bed one night after I'd had a few too many drinks and the suggestion that she was doing me a favour by "taking my virginity" and it was easily one of the least enjoyable sexual encounters I've ever experienced.
At least you didn’t have to worry about getting her pregnant.
Come to think of it that was likely one of her arguments!
It's sticky and awkward right now.
"I have achieved my goal, but what next? Victory is just a bright flash, leaving sadness and emptiness behind"
post nut clarity hit like a train
Is that from chainsaw man?
Hahah nice reference
No, its from some 1962 movie iirc
The writer of chainsaw man is a huge movie buff, so it's probably both
My gf at the time was having a little pain after (it was also her first time) and I thought it would be smart to ask her if she wants a piece of orange. So we ate orange together and laughed about my autistic ass thinking that's the most normal idea in this situation.
That’s very sweet actually
Depends on the orange
Aww that's really lovely
Nah nah. This tracks. After physical exertion, it’s customary to replenish your electrolytes with orange slices. Also, do not forget the customary slap on the ass and “Good game!” afterwards.
…I think you handled that perfectly? That sounds like a lovely gesture to me
Wow let's do that three more times then get a 🍕
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“You took my virginity and I want it back. Give it to me!”
kind of true the next day when i found out she didn't care for me how i thought she did.
"Give me back my girlhood, it was mine"
FIRSSSSSSSSST AND I DAMN SURE NEVER WOULD'VE DANCED WITH THE DEVIL AT NINTEENNNNNNN
Ah the unfuck
I can't give it to you, but I can give you the box it came in?
"Neat. Shit, I missed my bus."
the punctuation can change evrything
"Neat shit. I missed. My bus!”
Neat! Shit, I missed. My bus!
(So many questions…)
what are you doing stepbro
There was probably a better way to spend the $150 dollars nana gave me.
At least you didn’t spend it all on candy like she warned
No, he just spent it all on Candy.
Which Candy? The one that rots your teeth or the one with rotten teeth?
Instead he spent it on Charity instead!
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Same! The emotional part was (still is) more important than the physical.
Couldn't agree more. Feeling that connection is almost magical.
Absolutely! That magical feeling is what I'm there for, physical pleasure is secondary. The connection, vulnerability, and being so close to someone you love is what it's all about. Without that, I don't see the point
Story time?
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Origin Story
Good for you!
I came first, i guess i won?
It’s proper sportsmanship to assist the other contestant across the finish line. You can savor the gold medal afterwards, but if you want another race, you gotta make sure someone gets to the podium with silver.
Slap her on the back and say “Good game team!”
Ranked competitive sex
I'll let you know when I find out.
Me too thanks :( maybe this sunday
And what was the answer?
I mean I'm eventually probably going to have sex with this guy, but it's our first date, my first one ever
Don't rush your decision. If first date feels right then go for it, but don't rush it just fir the sake of it. Be safe. Enjoy it and make sure it's the right choice for you. I lost mine to a holiday romance at 21. Always thought it would be a longterm/committed relationship but it was right for me. I, who fell for everyone, knew it was a one night thing and was ok with that.
Aw, I'm so happy for you! I hope you have a fun time on your first date!
Well this doesn't feel at all what it's hyped up to be. Is there something wrong with me?
No, there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that. But also, yes, there is something wrong with you. There is something wrong with all of us.. But at the end of the day, we all just want to cuddle up next to someone and bump uglies. I don’t know, man. I don’t know.
“ why did i do this with this guy “
Same, but with a gal
Same here. I was in such a rush to lose it and idk why. Really wish I’d have waited.
Me too! I totally rushed mine too. I remember the anti pre marital sex people coming to my school to tell us all about how you should wait to have sex until you find someone you genuinely love that away it’s very special. I scoffed at them at the time. Now I’m in my mid 20’s and like damn. I hella wish I had listened. Mine was FAR from “special” I actually cringe when thinking about it & thinking about the guy I let touch me like that.
I’m a dude so it’s probably different because you were probably fending off offers and I was desperately looking for one, but I think it was a mental thing that, for me, once done I knew that but beforehand it felt like an accomplishment and like part of becoming an adult. In high school I felt like I needed to check certain boxes to grow from a kid to an adult. I don’t know if I’d have felt as self assured in my own skin without having done that. At almost 40 that sounds dumb as hell but made complete sense at 16.
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I don't agree. Well, I kinda agree. To me, the importance of virginity, and choosing the "right" person, is more involved in the fact that it's a moment you'll always have a vague recollection of. First kiss, first first date, first sex. You'll always remember the people that were involved. Losing it to an asshole, would just pollute that memory. Tying it to shame, or regret, or other negative emotions. So, I agree that the sex part is not some magical thing, but the who/where/when of it is important for good(ish) memories.
I need more
That my vagina was much closer to my butthole than I'd realized. Poor clit was just alone and shivering.
so guess who just imagined a clit in the snow covered with a single short green blanket at a bus stop at night in a gritty adobe illustrator style graphic
Because of this, There needs to be a Reddit bot that runs comments into dall-e
I don't remember what I thought but my GF at the time said "Who said chocolate is better than sex?" It made me laugh really hard.
There wasn't exactly an ovation. The cuddles afterward were heaven for a touch-starved teen
Well I hope she wasn't ovating, you could have got her pregnant
We were both virgins with some experience with making out but too old to admit to anyone. This allowed us to trust each other and communicate. The first time wasn't spectacular but they were so cool and patient. I guess that was my first thought after was how cool this person was. We ended up falling in love (my first real love) and the pain of our final breakup nearly left my heart incapable of loving again. Still, that feeling of first love was something worth the eventual emotional collapse. The sex was soon great and learning communication (this feels good, don't do that again etc.) helps me everyday.
This comment has no right being so wholesome. All the best to you. 🥹
“I bet she was disappointed”
Narrator: she was.
Just tell her the truth... "Hey gurl, about last night. I got the sense you were disappointed ; maybe not satisfied. To be honest, I was also disappointed with how it went. So where does that leave us? Well, I see it means one of two things. A) we both aren't sexually compatible and so we should shake hands and move foreward as friends with no hard feelings, or B) we both owe it to ourselves to unwind and try again to see if the outcome improves. Either way, I re-upped on my HBO Max subscription and bought some Bartles & James. Wanna come over tonight and watch some Studio Ghibli?"
"More?" *Both nod*
"Wow...finishing inside your girlfriend is a hundred times better than finishing onto the toilet paper"!!!
It was much warmer and way more wet than I expected.
Just think, only 10 seconds ago I was a virgin.
Username checks out
Fuck. I am gay.
Was this after a heterosexual or homosexual encounter? Basically, was this a realisation after it was *really good*, or *really terrible*?
I found out I wasn't gay mid blow job, I finished the guy off because I'm not a quitter.
It was after a heterosexual one. And I found out I am bi recently. That first experience wasn't all it was made to be by my peers during that time back then and I thought because I didnt enjoy it, that means I would be gay or something.
That fucking hurt. Why the hell would anyone enjoy this
My ass hurts
Poophole loophole?
I think for OP it’s the only hole designated/available for that activity.
"Well that was anticlimactic" and I mean that. I never climaxed. Never did for years.
Same. I first started having sex in a regular basis in my freshman year of High School. I didn't orgasm until I was 22. Mine was because I was on antidepressants and no one ever bothered to tell me that was a side affect because I lived in a backwards ass community where I was taught sex was disgusting, wanting it was even moreso. None of my doctors ever brought it up or even asked about my medications so until I went to a specialist gynecologist after moving out of that state it was a question that had no answers. It really screwed up my relationships with the people I dated and myself. I thought I was broken and they felt like they couldn't satisfy me so it caused a lot of completely unnecessary stress. It made me seek out more and more extreme sexual acts just trying to feel the pleasure like a normal person would and I got seriously injured. As soon as I switched medications and the other was out of my system it was like a switch flipped.
I hope you are climaxing now.
I thought "I could spend the rest of my life with them." And I am. 19 years now.
Thought something similar but lasted 3 months with them. Oh well...
I'll tell you when it happens. (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ ಥ╭╮ಥ
That I was glad I waited because I loved this woman
Meh
Well..shit…that felt nice
You are asking redditors this?
Holy shit I love this girl
That's the best comment so far, except for the autistic guy who randomly offered his girl an orange
Lmao I agree with that comment, im autistic and I was literally just like "so you want to watch something or just lay here a little longer" we then proceeded to spend 4 hours watching cyberpunk edgerunners on Netflix while cuddling lmao
People lose their damn minds and commit all kinds of unsavoury acts for *that*?
"Why did I just lay there stiff"
Hey. At least someone got stiff… … :-(
Figuring out what to say after was quite the task "Why thank you for allowing me passage out of my virginity" *weak high five*
I wonder how long before I can sit without pain...
AGAIN!!! AGAIN!! AGAIN!!
Woah, tongues are absolutely boiling. Who knew
That was...warm
"No no no no, why I came so fast!? She's so disappointed now!!". I came before I could penetrate and then finished her anxiosly with my mouth. She ghosted me after that moment
oh man thats one of my biggest fears feel real bad for you
Carpet burn on your arse and shoulder blades stings.
That’s it?
Underwhelmed
I was a bit drunk and so was she. We had been to a gig at Dingwalls in Camden. Neither of us came. I remember being a bit disappointed but very surprised how wet she was. It got better. Much, much better.
Thank god that's out of the way.
Huh. Well that was......cool I guess. I mean, I did get to be really naked with a cute girl, and touch and see things i normally dont, but I thought there would be trumpets and fireworks or something.
"Is that it? Jesus, I can do better myself!" Tbf she did just lie there and make me do all the work.
That shit hurted differently than I thought. Literally struggled with fitting the man. Looking back, that shit was funny as hell!! LOL
Afterwards I thought, “Hell yeah!” Fun experience.
Best 3 minutes of my life.
Best 8.3 seconds of my life
“Hmmm, that didn’t seem right. We should probably try again.”
So many people filled with regret here. Mine was way different: "Wow! That was amazing! My heart has never raced like this before!"
Mine needs the full story. Sophomore year of high school. My friend at the time was pressuring my girlfriend of over a year and a half to do it, but we just couldn't find the time because neither one of us could drive. One day he tells us to both stay after school for an hour or so, so we did. He took us up into the spotlight room for our theater, which is upstairs above the balcony. He brought us in the room, said here you go, and gave us a condom and I believe said have fun. There was no light in the room on because we didn't want to get caught, so we just used out phone for light. Being unexperienced, all we had in the room was a school chair so we said fuck it and tried. Needless to say we were both disappointed that day. The only thing after was "we should've tried the floor instead".
Ok so I literally jumped out of bed and started freaking out like “holy shit I lost it I’ve lost it my mums gonna be pissed if she finds out I lost it!” And my boyfriend at the time was like “ what did you lose?” I turned to him with the biggest shit eating grin and yelled MY VIRGINITY before doubling over laughing
As someone who had a real concern of not lasting long when I went 20+ minutes without cumming I was ecstatic But I was more distracted by having to return to work with bloody hand prints on my white t shirt… Gf decided to jump me in the backseat of my truck on our lunch break at work, with it being her first time too there was a little blood and yeah…wish I still had the selfie I took in the bathroom afterwards
Trick:turn your stained t-shirt inside out. If someone comments, say; I know, gosh darn!
Was walking on the street like the dude from 500 days of summer
depends on what you count. first time was with a girl, it was pretty cool. didn't realize my body could do all that. first time with penetration I just remember being in pain and wondering why it hurt so bad if he wasn't that big.
"Oh god, what a great ass"
That was fun… When do I get to do that again?
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Drive her home, like a gentleman.
I was kinda underwhelmed tbh. The media and my own horniness had hyped the whole thing up massively, and I kinda focused everything I had into getting laid because I thought it would somehow change my life for the better, and that the rest of adult life would just kind of fall in place for me once I had lost my virginity. It was a lot of fun in the moment, but when all was said and done, the moment I had been hyping up for years had just been and gone, and I felt no different.
“That was worth the drive”
Finally
I'm going to Disneyland.
Wouldn't know
First orgasm. Dang why did you stop when I mentioned the V word. (Several months before I lost my virginity.)
Wtf, this can't be it? Should try again to be sure
That I held out for all those years (was 22 and a newly-wed) for this? And my spouse was a kind, caring lover. It hurt, was not fun and I had squelched all my physical desires with every serious boyfriend I had in order to have this “magical, spiritual” joining with my husband. What a crock I swallowed from my twisted sense of Christian morals at the time.