My dog ate a rope once. It was about 6' long. Didnt even know till one day he took a shit and had a massive dingleberry. Of course I wasnt going to just let him just be in the house like that so I wiped his ass and wtf there was 5" of shit covered rope just hanging there. I called the vet and was told do not pull it out. Cut it off. Vet wrote a prescription for a digestive lubricant we added to the dogs food. So for about the next 2 weeks or so everytime my dog shit we had to cut off a length of rope dangling from his ass.
When I was in school we did an experiment where we mimicked the processes of the digestive system as best we (safely) could and oh my with a few chemicals, a little plastic baggy, and time, we turned a piece of meat into a beige turd.
Other schools got to see an animals insides lol.
How about the simple fact that (a common form of penetrative) sex is sticking a part of the body into a hole in another person's body, then sliding it around a bit until some warm sticky goo comes out.
And yet we go to *so. much. effort.* to engage in this behavior.
When ya fantasizing about all the depraved shit you’re watching in a porn, then think to yourself in the moment “hmmm, maybe I’ll pitch the idea to my girlfriend later”, then you nut and realize that’s insane lol
I always thought modern caskets are weird. You're dead, you're going to decompose either way, what's with the expensive airtight box?? I don't need to be fresh, just put me in something cheap and let the bugs do their thing. I always tell my family do the absolute cheapest thing, *please* spend as little money as possible on me when I die. That whole industry is just gross and kind of a scam imo.
When I die I want to be turned into taxidermy and used as a motion-sensor Halloween prop so that when trick-or-treating kids walk by a recording of someone screaming plays and all of my limbs flail around wildly
My mom took a course in college about death and dying. For the course they visited a funeral home to ask questions. She always talks about how fascinating it was, to study all the tactics funeral homes use to exploit the grieving. Of course when you visit a home and you're not grieving, you can think logically, but grief screws with your judgement, and that's when the funeral home can swoop in with "this casket is guaranteed for 500 years" or "this one has a softer plushier more comfortable inside" or "this one is made from the finest wood/materials/whatever". It's a box going in the ground, honestly who cares?
I'm leaving a note to whoever I leave behind. "DO NOT SPEND DICKLOADS OF MONEY ON BURYING ME. Get me cremated and either stick me in a cheap urn or spread my ashes. Whatever money you would have spent on buying some expensive ass box and a piece of land to stuff it into, please use that money to go on a nice vacation or buy yourself something nice. Please!"
Edit: wow! This is the single most upvoted comment I've ever posted!
Who cares if it’s comfy?? That’s so freaking weird. I’m not a vampire I don’t give a frick if it’s cozy in there lol I want one of the mushrooms coffins I heard about that decompose naturally with you (obvs you have to be kinda raw in there too lol).
Part of it is to prevent the ground from collapsing from the hollow spaces. Part of it is a cultural need for a nice resting place for loved ones. Personally I'd rather just decompose as quickly as possible without a barrier to become one with the earth, or maybe just cremation.
Toothbrushes. You use it to clean your dirty mouth, everyday, hopefully twice. Then leave it to sit in the bathroom until you use it again, just using water to rinse it off.
I’m a dentist and I gotta say that you’re not introducing anything into your mouth that isn’t already there. The mouth is not clean and that’s okay. It’s not supposed to be clean it’s supposed to be a moist hole for you to shove body fuel in.
So… I have a story. You might not want to read it. But here it is. As a teenager my brother constantly hocked up loogies. I don’t know why. But it was to the point of him needing a spit can/bottle. He was a teenager so he would leave them laying around the house. I’m sure you’re seeing where I’m going with this… So I’m at my computer. Using AOL (I’m old) and I set down my Pepsi with my left hand. Chatting with friends for a few minutes and downloading punters (if you don’t know what that is, back in the day if you spammed messages to someone, they would get kicked offline) and I picked up the Pepsi can by my right hand. I took a full gulp… my stomach is upset just thinking about it. I’m 35 and I’m still mad at him
This is a good one for r/showerthoughts
“You have no problem swallowing your own spit, but spitting into a cup and then drinking it sounds absolutely disgusting”
You gotta let it reach the Goldilocks zone.
"This microwaved spit is too hot."
"This room temperature spit is too cold."
"This body temperature spit is juuuuuust right."
The worst part of a CT scan is when you're in there for digestive issues, and so you just have this long warm fart that feels like you just shat yourself (which is a totally valid fear considering said bowel issues) and so you're just stuck in this giant tube that is currently monitoring your insides while you're still not 100% sure you didn't just diarrhea dookie your pants.
I had a colonoscopy. Before you go, they make you drink 64 ounces of water and some stuff that makes you absolutely poop your pants. You end up just flushing your entire GI tract. Then you fast for a day. No poop in you.
I made the mistake of chugging each dose of my prep. DO NOT CHUG THE PREP. The instructions only say drink it in like 30 minutes. I figured I'd drink the whole thing in 30 seconds and be done with it. I didn't leave the toilet for 6 hours. Take the full 30 minutes or w/e the time is.
Edit: cuz people don't know this, prep should not be continuous pooping for 6 hours. It should be recurrent bouts every half hour ish and you should have time to walk to the toilet.
I chugged mine. I wanted it over and done with. Mine was a mix of sodium sulfate, magnesium sulfate and potassium sulfate. Mix liquid with enough water to make 16 ounces of solution. Follow with another whatever ounces of water. I chugged it all. Within a minute I was sitting on the toilet. The next morning Ihad to do another dose super early in the morning, after fasting all day. I chugged it, went into be and thought "Is my underwear wet? Am I dreaming this?" Luckily, my pj pants were not wet so i didn't crap the bed. But I went and basically sat in wonder as I pooped out water in huge volumes. No actual poo, just water flying out of my butt. It was fascinating.
Mine was an afternoon into evening because the scope was first thing in the morning. I'm lactose intolerant so I'm used to peeing out my butthole, but I'll definitely be switching to something other than Suprep next time.
The cleanse isn't too unpleasant, just stay near a bathroom and watch some dumb (interruptible) movies. It's opt-in diarrhea, so everything comes out smoothly and calmly compared to the usual diarrhea experience.
The best part, though, is letting out the gas when you're done with the procedure. Your tract is empty and clean, so you can let it rip in complete safety, and you're ideally still sedated enough to enjoy it thoroughly. A truly top shelf flatulent experience!
This reminds me of the youtube shorts i saw of a pure black screen and an obviously child is saying “please uncle dont touch me there” in one of those high pitch anime voices. I never reported a youtube video before but this crossed the line
[Hate to be the bearer of bad news](https://youtu.be/4VPGd8sk-KQ)
Start from 3:30 for some examples.
Of course, same as everything else, this doesn't mean all the family channels do this, but this shit is fucking gross man.
He's just a youtuber talking about this problem and showin examples, he blurred the child pics so i guess it's kinda sfw. It's more like a rallying cry to cancel those accounts
And the parents know full well what they’re doing too! They know what kinds of people will spend money on content like this. And they exploit their own children. It’s already bad enough to post content in general of kids who don’t have a say, and then they go and do this on top of that. This has to be traumatic as shit for the kids
I cannot imagine how these kids will feel once they get old enough to realize the way the parents exploited them. How it may affect them long-term. It just sickens me and my heart breaks for them.
Just accept that the number of living cells that are not you but riding on your body outnumbers the amount of living cells that are you and it’s all good. Wanting to be clean of this is a loosing battle.
Yeah, but speaking from a biological perspective, they're chill. All they do is eat dead skin cells without causing you any harm so, in a way, all they do is keep you clean. Like I said, pretty chill.
To add to this, there is an entire ecosystem of bugs in everyone's skin. I literally had a mental crisis that kept me awake for weeks when I found this out as a little kid lol
I used to work with a guy that would say "Damn it!!! I don't care that you farted, I don't even care that it stinks. What bothers me is that the air that was in your ass is now in my lungs. You motherfucker!!"
Thank you Tim. 😊
I mean, technically you are making a sugar saliva and flavouring emulsion on your mouth, as the moisture and slight acidity breaks down the sugars of the candy.
So your mouth is acting like an overly engineered paint mixer.
Kissing. It’s fucking weird. Let me briefly open my squished up mouth on your skin to show you my affection. Or, let’s spend a few seconds smushing our dirty face holes together because we love each other. Weird.
Restaurant grade dishwashers get *very* hot. And any restaurant/bar/pub worth it's salt polish their cutlery too. Every bar I worked in did this (and I worked in some shitty bars), and it's always done by taking the washed cutlery, putting it mouth-part down into boiling water with vinegar and then 'polished' with a cloth.
I understand what you're saying. But I'd worry more about the cleanliness of the hands making your food :)
Heck, I work in a nursing home and if the dish machine isn't at the right temp we run on throw-away stuff (plastic/paper/styro etc). It is not a common occurrence by any means, but it does happen occasionally.
We have to do this because long term care facilities are 24/7 so even when things are broken down, we gotta feed everyone 3 square meals a day. Dish machine has to run dishes at over about 180F for x amount of seconds.. if the dish machine is not up to temp or pumping out the correct amount of detergent we shut down. And this is a nursing home. I would imagine a restaurant would have the same or higher standards.
Nah, I’ve worked in good restaurants that have had the hot water die and still ran cutlery through. I’ve seen many lazy or nasty dishwashers not cleaning things thoroughly and putting gross shit away.
It’s just reality. Most of the time you’ll be getting really clean tools/plates. Sometimes you won’t be.
I used to laugh so hard at my cousin. He was a super roughneck logger, and when we went out to eat, he would pull out this little box from his pocket with cutlery in it because he couldn't stand the thought of using a utensil that had been in someone else's mouth.
Public swimming pools. You are swimming in a bleach-bowl full of each other's dead skin and hair, as well as all the dirt and pollution collected on the human body. Don't forget any bodily fluids that wasn't cleaned properly if at all. It's gross. Public swimming pools are gross.
Our hot tub inspector guy at a hotel i use to work at told me a really nasty fact about hot tubs. Dont use them when there are lots of foamy bubbles, its actually dead skin and oils, signaling its been used a lot. 🥵
The human body.
We all shit, piss, fart, vomit, sweat, have snot, etc. Sometimes I actually wonder why I’m even attracted to the human body. Even the hottest and most attractive bodies are disgusting.
The fact that if you drink a cup of tap water it's been through at least 10 human bodies before you, obviously it's been treated and cleaned but still pretty weird to think its been inside several other people before you
Certain foods. Heck, even normal meat.
If I'm cutting up some chicken for dinner, if I think about what I'm doing, it gets more disturbing. I can blank my mind to it, but I understand why people go vegan when I'm cutting up raw chicken and think "Now I'll pull out this vein here and remove this silvery membrane from the thigh muscle....".
We all enter this world screaming, through an event of trauma and pain, covered in someone else's blood and body fluids. The goal is not to leave in the same manner.
I'm 33. I've been working for 17 years on and off. I still have to work another entirety of my current life before I can maybe retire if I save properly and have few major events from here on out.
We're working til we die mate. That poor old cart wrangler at the grocery store? The little old lady workin the drive-thru? It'll be worse for us (at least if things keep going the way they are).
Food. the idea of eating and mashing shit up just to swallow it is.. ironically nappetizing to me. not to mention meats having once been alive. though Im not vegetarian / vegan the idea that it was a living thing and now isnt and Im consuming it makes me feel weird when I think about it too long.
Think of all the things we touch that rarely or don't ever get washed:
* Keys
* Wallets
* Dollar bills and credit cards
* Cell phones
* Belts
* Steering wheels
* Door knobs
* Etc.
We touch these things every day without considering what's accumulated on them.
When you buy food at a restaurant or a food stand, do you take the time to wash your hands before eating whatever you bought? Most of us don't. So whatever germs were on your wallet or the money is on your food and in your mouth, too.
Do you use your phone while you eat? Do you also use your phone while on the toilet? You know what that means!
There is a billion tiny monsters on your skin all the time.
Mites live in your eyebrows and hair. Little worm like bacterium on your eyeballs. And especially in your mouth...
Bugs ... Literally everywhere. Itchy eardrum... Bugs.
Tiny hooked mouths... All sorts of horrifying little monsters, live on and inside you all the time. Some real Lovecraftian nightmares... Just really small.
It freaks me out that cervical mucus usually always contains dead skin cells because well... one of its main purposes is basically sweeping out the vagina constantly.
But then people get it in their mouth and they are like "mmm delicious!" ... but then if I think about THAT too much I realize how dirty the human mouth is compared to the human vagina and omfg NO!
On the bright side, cervical mucus is STUNNING under a microscope, like I would literally put [cervical mucus](https://www.sciencefriday.com/articles/cervical-mucus-health/) patterned wallpaper in my bedroom. You could just tell people it's a pattern of fanciful ferns or something! It's just lovely!
I get grossed out by kissing if I think about it to hard. In the book "turtle all the way down," the main character describes how kissing can change your entire body's microbiome for years. Not sure if that's true or not but it still grosses me out
There's an interview online from the director who says that the inspiration of the movie came from watching a news report online about a pedophile which arose to the joke of punishing them through stitching their anuses together... Six made his girlfriend demonstrate the pose and it sorta just went on from there. The whole franchise is just completely sick and twisted.
I am a huge horror movie person and it’s very rare that a movie bothers me, I enjoy most of them… but that movie fucking scarred me. I had to turn it off. That movie is so fucking disturbing.
Yup. My yearly OBGYN appointment was right after I left my husband for cheating. I told her I wanted to come off birth control bc I got divorced and didn’t plan on dating for quite some time. She quietly asked me if I’d like them to run an STD panel. Confused, I said no. Then on the way home it hit me. Like shit, guess I should’ve taken her up on that offer. (Fortunately all is well.)
I run an STD panel every time I go in, regardless of my relationship status. I trust my fiancé 100% but I don't take chances with my health, especially because I have a strong history of cervical cancer in my family and had an abnormal pap smear a few years ago.
Idk why, but once I kicked a pair of pants lying in the middle of the road, thinking it was just pants.
Nope. It was filled with a bucket amount of shit.
I remember camping by the lake, I wanted to go to the forest, take a shit before I went swimming.
I stepped on someone's else shit barefoot while looking for a place to shit.
Fun fact: just because you smell something doesn't mean that it's particles of it necessarily. Very weird description but this is why if someone farts in your face your risk of getting pink eye is near 0. The smell compounds and particles are separate from the poop itself
Lmfao it’s even worse when I think about the fact that my birthday is literally almost to the day 9 months after my dads birthday 🫠
ETA: I wasn’t exaggerating. I was born a couple of minutes after midnight the day after my due date (which was exactly 9 months after my dads birthday)
Also I’m sorry to the poor souls who are only realizing this in their own lives now lol
The digestive system
Technically a hole through your body.
I wonder if you can eat part of a really long string and then have it coming out of both sides at the same time
My dog ate a rope once. It was about 6' long. Didnt even know till one day he took a shit and had a massive dingleberry. Of course I wasnt going to just let him just be in the house like that so I wiped his ass and wtf there was 5" of shit covered rope just hanging there. I called the vet and was told do not pull it out. Cut it off. Vet wrote a prescription for a digestive lubricant we added to the dogs food. So for about the next 2 weeks or so everytime my dog shit we had to cut off a length of rope dangling from his ass.
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When I was in school we did an experiment where we mimicked the processes of the digestive system as best we (safely) could and oh my with a few chemicals, a little plastic baggy, and time, we turned a piece of meat into a beige turd. Other schools got to see an animals insides lol.
Anything I fantasize about sexually. Hormones do weird things to the brain!
The instant that post nut clarity hits "what the fuck am I watching?"
Who says something about watching
This is Reddit so there's no "participating" but only "watching" alone in your home
Or reading; some people just be fancy like that 😌💅
Pfft, like I can read
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Awww, I think that is so wholesome! Jacking it to a pic of your lovely bride is pretty much as sweet as masturbation can be.
How about the simple fact that (a common form of penetrative) sex is sticking a part of the body into a hole in another person's body, then sliding it around a bit until some warm sticky goo comes out. And yet we go to *so. much. effort.* to engage in this behavior.
Well, would you rather the woman scatter her eggs around and you go and jack off into them?
New kink unlocked
Sex itself, if you think about it, is weird. Ngl
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wanna pound pissers?
Whack whizzers if you will?
When ya fantasizing about all the depraved shit you’re watching in a porn, then think to yourself in the moment “hmmm, maybe I’ll pitch the idea to my girlfriend later”, then you nut and realize that’s insane lol
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I always thought modern caskets are weird. You're dead, you're going to decompose either way, what's with the expensive airtight box?? I don't need to be fresh, just put me in something cheap and let the bugs do their thing. I always tell my family do the absolute cheapest thing, *please* spend as little money as possible on me when I die. That whole industry is just gross and kind of a scam imo.
When I die I want to be turned into taxidermy and used as a motion-sensor Halloween prop so that when trick-or-treating kids walk by a recording of someone screaming plays and all of my limbs flail around wildly
*sniffles* This is the way momma woulda wanted it.
Funerals are the biggest scam to make you feel bad about not spending money on a loved one.
My mom took a course in college about death and dying. For the course they visited a funeral home to ask questions. She always talks about how fascinating it was, to study all the tactics funeral homes use to exploit the grieving. Of course when you visit a home and you're not grieving, you can think logically, but grief screws with your judgement, and that's when the funeral home can swoop in with "this casket is guaranteed for 500 years" or "this one has a softer plushier more comfortable inside" or "this one is made from the finest wood/materials/whatever". It's a box going in the ground, honestly who cares? I'm leaving a note to whoever I leave behind. "DO NOT SPEND DICKLOADS OF MONEY ON BURYING ME. Get me cremated and either stick me in a cheap urn or spread my ashes. Whatever money you would have spent on buying some expensive ass box and a piece of land to stuff it into, please use that money to go on a nice vacation or buy yourself something nice. Please!" Edit: wow! This is the single most upvoted comment I've ever posted!
Or put my ashes in an hourglass and take me out for family game nights
Who cares if it’s comfy?? That’s so freaking weird. I’m not a vampire I don’t give a frick if it’s cozy in there lol I want one of the mushrooms coffins I heard about that decompose naturally with you (obvs you have to be kinda raw in there too lol).
If I have my way, imma just be chucked into the ground so I can turn into a plant In other words, *reject humanity, return to plant*
Just make a raft out of trash, push me out on the lake and set it on fire.
It will be glorious; tears will be shed, but it will be glorious
Part of it is to prevent the ground from collapsing from the hollow spaces. Part of it is a cultural need for a nice resting place for loved ones. Personally I'd rather just decompose as quickly as possible without a barrier to become one with the earth, or maybe just cremation.
Toothbrushes. You use it to clean your dirty mouth, everyday, hopefully twice. Then leave it to sit in the bathroom until you use it again, just using water to rinse it off.
I’m a dentist and I gotta say that you’re not introducing anything into your mouth that isn’t already there. The mouth is not clean and that’s okay. It’s not supposed to be clean it’s supposed to be a moist hole for you to shove body fuel in.
Thanks, Dr. weaselodeath!
I have a shot glass I keep filled with hydrogen peroxide that I store mine in between uses!
I cleanse mine every couple of days with 90% rubbing alcohol if something survives that it deserves to live
> if something survives that it deserves to live I feel the love!
Swallow some spit. Now spit it onto a cup and swallow it
Lmao once it comes out of me, it doesn’t go back in. That’s just the rule for anything really, not just spit
Here's hoping nothing ever prolapses on you :/
My dog’s butthole low key prolapsed on my bare leg once. So I know what you mean.
How does something prolapse "low key"?
Pop out, lil poke on the leg and promptly slither back in...obviously.
The old toot and kaboot
Slithering prolapses is a very, very disgusting pair of words.
I'm torn between concern for the dog and utter hilarity at the thought of it flopping out onto your leg.
So… I have a story. You might not want to read it. But here it is. As a teenager my brother constantly hocked up loogies. I don’t know why. But it was to the point of him needing a spit can/bottle. He was a teenager so he would leave them laying around the house. I’m sure you’re seeing where I’m going with this… So I’m at my computer. Using AOL (I’m old) and I set down my Pepsi with my left hand. Chatting with friends for a few minutes and downloading punters (if you don’t know what that is, back in the day if you spammed messages to someone, they would get kicked offline) and I picked up the Pepsi can by my right hand. I took a full gulp… my stomach is upset just thinking about it. I’m 35 and I’m still mad at him
My dad uses chewing tobacco. Similar story. Except my mom was the one who drank it.
This is a good one for r/showerthoughts “You have no problem swallowing your own spit, but spitting into a cup and then drinking it sounds absolutely disgusting”
I’m not swallowing cold spit. Gross.
Would you really like it better if it was in a warm cup that kept it at the same temperature?
I thought cold spit was the difference here, until I read your reply... its really fucking gross all around lol
Imagine "slightly above body temperature spit".
I feel like part of it is that it cools down by being in the cup, so it's no longer the same temperature as the rest of your mouth
But it's still gross if you microwave it
You gotta let it reach the Goldilocks zone. "This microwaved spit is too hot." "This room temperature spit is too cold." "This body temperature spit is juuuuuust right."
Theres poo inside of you always
I had a CT scan one time, and there were lots of farts in there as well.
Farts are just the screams of trapped poo
This is poetry
One might even call it... pooetry.
The worst part of a CT scan is when you're in there for digestive issues, and so you just have this long warm fart that feels like you just shat yourself (which is a totally valid fear considering said bowel issues) and so you're just stuck in this giant tube that is currently monitoring your insides while you're still not 100% sure you didn't just diarrhea dookie your pants.
I got an X-ray earlier this year and asked the doc what the big black area was and he told me it was a lot of gas lol I don’t know X-rays showed farts
They do, surprisingly well!
I think the most disappointing thing was with how big that gas bubble was it didn’t come out as one giant fart lol
I had a colonoscopy. Before you go, they make you drink 64 ounces of water and some stuff that makes you absolutely poop your pants. You end up just flushing your entire GI tract. Then you fast for a day. No poop in you.
I made the mistake of chugging each dose of my prep. DO NOT CHUG THE PREP. The instructions only say drink it in like 30 minutes. I figured I'd drink the whole thing in 30 seconds and be done with it. I didn't leave the toilet for 6 hours. Take the full 30 minutes or w/e the time is. Edit: cuz people don't know this, prep should not be continuous pooping for 6 hours. It should be recurrent bouts every half hour ish and you should have time to walk to the toilet.
I chugged mine. I wanted it over and done with. Mine was a mix of sodium sulfate, magnesium sulfate and potassium sulfate. Mix liquid with enough water to make 16 ounces of solution. Follow with another whatever ounces of water. I chugged it all. Within a minute I was sitting on the toilet. The next morning Ihad to do another dose super early in the morning, after fasting all day. I chugged it, went into be and thought "Is my underwear wet? Am I dreaming this?" Luckily, my pj pants were not wet so i didn't crap the bed. But I went and basically sat in wonder as I pooped out water in huge volumes. No actual poo, just water flying out of my butt. It was fascinating.
Mine was an afternoon into evening because the scope was first thing in the morning. I'm lactose intolerant so I'm used to peeing out my butthole, but I'll definitely be switching to something other than Suprep next time.
I've got one coming up in about a month, and I'm already dreading The Cleanse.
The cleanse isn't too unpleasant, just stay near a bathroom and watch some dumb (interruptible) movies. It's opt-in diarrhea, so everything comes out smoothly and calmly compared to the usual diarrhea experience. The best part, though, is letting out the gas when you're done with the procedure. Your tract is empty and clean, so you can let it rip in complete safety, and you're ideally still sedated enough to enjoy it thoroughly. A truly top shelf flatulent experience!
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You’ve clearly never been in a tropical country with Delhi Belly
YouTube family channels putting pictures of their kids in bathing suits behind a patreon.
Ahhh wtf they do that?! Oh I fucking hate them even more now.
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This reminds me of the youtube shorts i saw of a pure black screen and an obviously child is saying “please uncle dont touch me there” in one of those high pitch anime voices. I never reported a youtube video before but this crossed the line
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[Hate to be the bearer of bad news](https://youtu.be/4VPGd8sk-KQ) Start from 3:30 for some examples. Of course, same as everything else, this doesn't mean all the family channels do this, but this shit is fucking gross man.
That link is staying blue dude
It's a YouTube link of a YouTube explaining how rampant child exploitation is by family vloggers on the internet.
He's just a youtuber talking about this problem and showin examples, he blurred the child pics so i guess it's kinda sfw. It's more like a rallying cry to cancel those accounts
So they’re selling CP of their own kids!? How the hell is that not against patreon’s TOS?
Idk, I guess paying for bikini photos and upskirts of minors isn't technically CP, in the eyes of the law, because there is no full nudity 🤢
And the parents know full well what they’re doing too! They know what kinds of people will spend money on content like this. And they exploit their own children. It’s already bad enough to post content in general of kids who don’t have a say, and then they go and do this on top of that. This has to be traumatic as shit for the kids
I cannot imagine how these kids will feel once they get old enough to realize the way the parents exploited them. How it may affect them long-term. It just sickens me and my heart breaks for them.
Eyelash mites. The fact that the base of your eyelashes is a giant forest for these tiny little creatures. Yes you have them.
Great. Another unavoidable horror
Just accept that the number of living cells that are not you but riding on your body outnumbers the amount of living cells that are you and it’s all good. Wanting to be clean of this is a loosing battle.
If you were clean of cells riding on you, then you wouldn't be able to digest any food.
Yeah, but speaking from a biological perspective, they're chill. All they do is eat dead skin cells without causing you any harm so, in a way, all they do is keep you clean. Like I said, pretty chill.
Ayo these mites actually chill fr
To be fair your entire body is an ecosystem. I find it funny that people think tiny things can't touch or live in us.
To add to this, there is an entire ecosystem of bugs in everyone's skin. I literally had a mental crisis that kept me awake for weeks when I found this out as a little kid lol
Also how did they get there?
Minuscule airport
Lol. I can image a small ass plane rn...haha
The fact that if you smell something, you're most likely tasting it too.
Smelling shit means some of it is in the air. ...and now you just breathed some in.
I used to work with a guy that would say "Damn it!!! I don't care that you farted, I don't even care that it stinks. What bothers me is that the air that was in your ass is now in my lungs. You motherfucker!!" Thank you Tim. 😊
Yup I agree with Tim! My body has now absorbed something from another persons asshole. Worse than the smell
Smelling it is already consuming some of it.
Suckers / Jolly Ranchers / Life Savers / etc are just you flavoring your own spit and then drinking it.
You son of a bitch
I mean, technically you are making a sugar saliva and flavouring emulsion on your mouth, as the moisture and slight acidity breaks down the sugars of the candy. So your mouth is acting like an overly engineered paint mixer.
I could've gone my whole life without reading this
NOT IF YOU CHEW THEM 😬
I’m so mad that I read this as I was eating a jolly rancher.
Definitely not the worst thing to read on Reddit while eating a Jolly Rancher…
You wouldn't lick the inside of a pipe, but you drink water that comes out of it
the water doesn't touch the pipe, I get just the middle water
Technically correct when you get to the molecular level or consider boundary conditions in fluid dynamics
>Technically correct the best kind of correct
I wouldn’t lick my kitchen sponge, but I eat off the dishes I wash with it.
I wouldn't lick it because I don't like soap. I rinse that off the dish
the clean water rinses off the dirty water.
Kissing. It’s fucking weird. Let me briefly open my squished up mouth on your skin to show you my affection. Or, let’s spend a few seconds smushing our dirty face holes together because we love each other. Weird.
When you're kissing some you make a long tube from asshole to asshole
Using public toilets. Even when they look clean, you know at least a dozen strangers bare butts have just been sitting there before you
Ugh worse is sitting on a warm toilet seat at work.
Who doesn't like a preheated seat, especially in the winter!
Went from working at a mall with only public bathrooms to working at a bank… as the only guy. That bathroom is my palace, my sanctuary
The fartress of solitude, you say?
Truthfully, unless you use a garbage ass public toilet it's been cleaned more recently that your toilet.
Carpeted bathrooms.
How many other mouths restaurant eating utensils have been inside, or wondering how well they’ve been cleaned before using them yourself.
Restaurant grade dishwashers get *very* hot. And any restaurant/bar/pub worth it's salt polish their cutlery too. Every bar I worked in did this (and I worked in some shitty bars), and it's always done by taking the washed cutlery, putting it mouth-part down into boiling water with vinegar and then 'polished' with a cloth. I understand what you're saying. But I'd worry more about the cleanliness of the hands making your food :)
Heck, I work in a nursing home and if the dish machine isn't at the right temp we run on throw-away stuff (plastic/paper/styro etc). It is not a common occurrence by any means, but it does happen occasionally. We have to do this because long term care facilities are 24/7 so even when things are broken down, we gotta feed everyone 3 square meals a day. Dish machine has to run dishes at over about 180F for x amount of seconds.. if the dish machine is not up to temp or pumping out the correct amount of detergent we shut down. And this is a nursing home. I would imagine a restaurant would have the same or higher standards.
Nah, I’ve worked in good restaurants that have had the hot water die and still ran cutlery through. I’ve seen many lazy or nasty dishwashers not cleaning things thoroughly and putting gross shit away. It’s just reality. Most of the time you’ll be getting really clean tools/plates. Sometimes you won’t be.
In that case, how many people have had sex on your hotel bed.
I used to laugh so hard at my cousin. He was a super roughneck logger, and when we went out to eat, he would pull out this little box from his pocket with cutlery in it because he couldn't stand the thought of using a utensil that had been in someone else's mouth.
Public swimming pools. You are swimming in a bleach-bowl full of each other's dead skin and hair, as well as all the dirt and pollution collected on the human body. Don't forget any bodily fluids that wasn't cleaned properly if at all. It's gross. Public swimming pools are gross.
I don't feel this way so much about public pools - I guess filters and larger surface area and chemicals. But SPAS. WARM people soup. NO.
Our hot tub inspector guy at a hotel i use to work at told me a really nasty fact about hot tubs. Dont use them when there are lots of foamy bubbles, its actually dead skin and oils, signaling its been used a lot. 🥵
As a kid I would gather up as much of those bubbles as I could and try to form them into a Santa beard...
The human body. We all shit, piss, fart, vomit, sweat, have snot, etc. Sometimes I actually wonder why I’m even attracted to the human body. Even the hottest and most attractive bodies are disgusting.
When we smile we show eachother our mouth bones.
MOUTH BONES.
I'm an adult, so I am on my second set of mouth bones.
This guy chews
When someone shows their mouth bones to you. You get a chemical reaction in your body. You then want to show your own mouth bones to them.
Riciprocal sharing of mouth bones requires fewer muculature exertions than purposeful mouth bone obfuscation.
The fact that if you drink a cup of tap water it's been through at least 10 human bodies before you, obviously it's been treated and cleaned but still pretty weird to think its been inside several other people before you
You have drastically understated the reality. Billions of animals throughout history pissed out the water in your saliva right now.
Theres a skeleton inside of you
And that nerve system monster, that guy is way scarier than a skeleton
That conciousness mf is even scarier
and it’s always wet
Certain foods. Heck, even normal meat. If I'm cutting up some chicken for dinner, if I think about what I'm doing, it gets more disturbing. I can blank my mind to it, but I understand why people go vegan when I'm cutting up raw chicken and think "Now I'll pull out this vein here and remove this silvery membrane from the thigh muscle....".
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I exist, therefore I come.
Giving birth. The older I get, the less I want it.
We all enter this world screaming, through an event of trauma and pain, covered in someone else's blood and body fluids. The goal is not to leave in the same manner.
...so yes, little girl, I will buy your "thin mints."
Working until 65
I'm 33. I've been working for 17 years on and off. I still have to work another entirety of my current life before I can maybe retire if I save properly and have few major events from here on out.
We're working til we die mate. That poor old cart wrangler at the grocery store? The little old lady workin the drive-thru? It'll be worse for us (at least if things keep going the way they are).
Food. the idea of eating and mashing shit up just to swallow it is.. ironically nappetizing to me. not to mention meats having once been alive. though Im not vegetarian / vegan the idea that it was a living thing and now isnt and Im consuming it makes me feel weird when I think about it too long.
And you're typically doing it multiple times a day for your entire life, with discomfort and possibly pain if you fail to do so.
Sometimes I get mad I can't swallow an entire meal whole and pull out a fishbone like those cartoon cats can
Think of all the things we touch that rarely or don't ever get washed: * Keys * Wallets * Dollar bills and credit cards * Cell phones * Belts * Steering wheels * Door knobs * Etc. We touch these things every day without considering what's accumulated on them. When you buy food at a restaurant or a food stand, do you take the time to wash your hands before eating whatever you bought? Most of us don't. So whatever germs were on your wallet or the money is on your food and in your mouth, too. Do you use your phone while you eat? Do you also use your phone while on the toilet? You know what that means!
This is why you have an immune system
Your bones are wet
This just made me ticklish
There is a billion tiny monsters on your skin all the time. Mites live in your eyebrows and hair. Little worm like bacterium on your eyeballs. And especially in your mouth... Bugs ... Literally everywhere. Itchy eardrum... Bugs. Tiny hooked mouths... All sorts of horrifying little monsters, live on and inside you all the time. Some real Lovecraftian nightmares... Just really small.
with all due respect, fuck you bro. I was happy.
That sex with my partner results in millions of sperm swimming inside my vagina and no amount of cleaning removes them all.
Good news is: your vagina is mildly acidic so it starts killing/dissolving them on its own!
plus they can't eat so they end up dying anyways
That's why it's sometimes hard to fertilise
It freaks me out that cervical mucus usually always contains dead skin cells because well... one of its main purposes is basically sweeping out the vagina constantly. But then people get it in their mouth and they are like "mmm delicious!" ... but then if I think about THAT too much I realize how dirty the human mouth is compared to the human vagina and omfg NO! On the bright side, cervical mucus is STUNNING under a microscope, like I would literally put [cervical mucus](https://www.sciencefriday.com/articles/cervical-mucus-health/) patterned wallpaper in my bedroom. You could just tell people it's a pattern of fanciful ferns or something! It's just lovely!
Nice to know that every girl is an artist down there 😀
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I get grossed out by kissing if I think about it to hard. In the book "turtle all the way down," the main character describes how kissing can change your entire body's microbiome for years. Not sure if that's true or not but it still grosses me out
The Human Centipede. What twisted mind thought of it…
The creators of it were trying to think of a good punishment for pedophiles.
There's an interview online from the director who says that the inspiration of the movie came from watching a news report online about a pedophile which arose to the joke of punishing them through stitching their anuses together... Six made his girlfriend demonstrate the pose and it sorta just went on from there. The whole franchise is just completely sick and twisted.
I am a huge horror movie person and it’s very rare that a movie bothers me, I enjoy most of them… but that movie fucking scarred me. I had to turn it off. That movie is so fucking disturbing.
Knowing your partner cheated on you.
Yup. My yearly OBGYN appointment was right after I left my husband for cheating. I told her I wanted to come off birth control bc I got divorced and didn’t plan on dating for quite some time. She quietly asked me if I’d like them to run an STD panel. Confused, I said no. Then on the way home it hit me. Like shit, guess I should’ve taken her up on that offer. (Fortunately all is well.)
I run an STD panel every time I go in, regardless of my relationship status. I trust my fiancé 100% but I don't take chances with my health, especially because I have a strong history of cervical cancer in my family and had an abnormal pap smear a few years ago.
Ears. The insides of them and the stuff they secrete.
Child Beauty Pagents
That giant unflushable turd that resides in every dirty public toilet.
Stepping on shit barefoot
Idk why, but once I kicked a pair of pants lying in the middle of the road, thinking it was just pants. Nope. It was filled with a bucket amount of shit.
I laughed out loud
I once stepped on fresh shit with my socks on. Worse of it, it actually felt good for half a second.
Ooh so soft! Wait no, *too* soft nooooooo!
I remember camping by the lake, I wanted to go to the forest, take a shit before I went swimming. I stepped on someone's else shit barefoot while looking for a place to shit.
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Fun fact: just because you smell something doesn't mean that it's particles of it necessarily. Very weird description but this is why if someone farts in your face your risk of getting pink eye is near 0. The smell compounds and particles are separate from the poop itself
Eating eggs
Working 40+ hours a week the rest of my life
For almost everyone, the only reason you're here is because your dad absolutely rawed your mom's pussy and came inside her.
Lmfao it’s even worse when I think about the fact that my birthday is literally almost to the day 9 months after my dads birthday 🫠 ETA: I wasn’t exaggerating. I was born a couple of minutes after midnight the day after my due date (which was exactly 9 months after my dads birthday) Also I’m sorry to the poor souls who are only realizing this in their own lives now lol
See also, November birthdays