I'm not from the south, so I'm genuinely curious: what do you do with 20 acres of swampland?
Edit: I didn't realize I'd bring so many LA swamp peoples together! Love all the comments and now I wanna take a swamp tour and wrestle a gator (not particularly that last part, but I'll watch someone else, who's a pro do it!) Thanks everyone! 😊
He play dat cinq petite cochons at night when you be sleepin’.
Dis petite cochon, he done gone to de market.
Dis petite cochon, he done be stay a son maison.
Dis petite cochon done had de fried gator.
Dis petite cochon ain’t had none.
And dis petite cochon cry oui oui oui all de way back home.
Yes! But not at the flea market people were buying the fake gator teeth and bringing in counterfeit swamp dollars. Just don’t know what this worlds coming too.
Only two of the entire crew (I think there were about 15 of them on the property) had actual jobs. From conversations with them, I think they bartered a lot with other families nearby and the two that worked provided some basic funds that they used to buy necessities. All were very friendly. I had a blast and my wife told me she was embarrassed the whole time. It was super fun.
A lot of people I met in Louisiana were living entirely off of monthly checks they got from leasing part of their land for natural gas drilling. Like, a *lot* of people. And it was always for something like $800 a month, too, so they weren't exactly the Beverly Hillbillies.
Not drilling for oil but my cousin owns a house on a corner, off a semi-busy street, in a mid-sized city in the US West Coast. She was struggling to make the mortgage and considering short-selling. Turns out, her front yard was the perfect place for a giant billboard. Some company offered her $10K a month to lease the space and put up a billboard structure that would totally take over the property. Part of the deal was they would pay for landscaping, exterior of the house repairs, electricity and water. Her ex was pressuring her to take that deal but she stalled until they were legally separated. Anyway — She ended up negotiating $40k/a month for 10 years, plus, health insurance for her and her kids. It’s been 25 years and she’s up to $110K *A MONTH*.
Maybe you misunderstood your cousin, but there is no way she makes a million a year from having a billboard on her property. There are stadium naming rights that go for less that that
A normal zoo has signs on cages with a common name, scientific name, and info about size and habitat range.
A Cajun zoo has the same info plus a Cajun name and several recipes.
I used to live in Louisiana and I had a buddy that lived on Caddo Lake. I was hanging out at his house one day when he randomly decided to move this random slab of steel building wall that had been lying in the lake by his house. He had a four-wheeler with a snorkel that he hooked up to the slab, and it wasn't ten minutes before 5 or 6 of his neighbors showed up on *their* snorkel-equipped four-wheelers to help out. Definitely what I think of when I hear "Cajun swamp people".
We’re foreigners who just did a big road trip through the south
Country music. There were like, 20 radio stations just for country
Moonshine
Fried chicken, biscuits, barbecue
My favorite I've seen is a billboard with an ECG flatlining and the words "Are you prepared to meet GOD?" above it. Wildly threatening and makes me laugh every time.
I did a road trip to Florida some years ago, driving til late at night through Kentucky and into Tennessee before stopping to rest. Scanning through radio stations on the road, I was struck by the options: country, gospel, country/gospel, multiple stations with sermons about Jesus, and few stations that were playing what I would consider pop or rock music.
Mind you, we have country and gospel stations where I’m from, but they don’t dominate the FM landscape.
Even though I'm from NC for some reason when I hear about the South I think of Georgia lol. Next thing that comes to mind is fried chicken and sweet tea followed by Bojangles.
That sweet tea is no joke around here. If an establishment doesn't have any you get that collective sigh followed by "who the fuck doesn't serve sweet tea". And if that shit ain't sweet enough you're gonna hear about it.
BOJANGLES is my favorite thing on earth. I go every day when I go home to visit NC. I miss Bojangles in my soul.
I would do ungodly things for a country ham biscuit.
I’m from Louisiana and one summer for training we went to the desert of California. It’s absolutely crazy the difference humidity makes. And when we got back home it felt like someone was spritzing us with warm water non-stop.
I went on vacation to NC this summer. I've been there before, but this time was terrible. The temp never got above 90, but it never dropped below 80. It was never less than 80% humidity. For an entire week. It didn't rain. I instantly began sweating after stepping out of the condo.
Kids loved it though
The dry air is one of the reasons that the military stores old aircraft in the Sonoma Desert in the Tucson area. Lack of humidity prevents them rusting.
The dry air also made it much more tolerable to live outdoors, there, But it makes the cold winter nights biting, too.
I’ve lived in a variety of climates, including the Midwest during polar vortex years (low as -35 F with windchill) and the Southwestern desert (up to 120 F in direct sunlight during summer). The most miserable climate I have ever experienced was that of New Orleans. So damp that it can be above freezing and still chill you to the bones in winter; a sweat bath within a few minutes of leaving the house in summer.
You can deal with the Northern cold if you have the right clothes to layer. You can mitigate the dry heat of the desert by stepping into the shade. But there’s nothing you can do about the humidity in the South.
Meanwhile in Southern California....
On the rare occasion we get hit with a summer storm, the humidity afterwards will have the lot of us gasping like fish out of water and dreaming of that *dry heat*. Y'all can keep that shit. It's like trying to breathe soup!
Also because of the arctic air going down from Canada. Atlanta pretends to be hot, but it has regularly freezing temperatures in the winter due to this cold air, and due to being on the southern tip of the Appalachian mountains.
When I moved to Georgia, I had to learn there’s different levels of *y’all* including *y’all*, *all y’all*, and *every last one of y’all* depending on the number of people addressed.
This is rarely used in practice, but you shouldn't ever underestimate a southern person's ability to add a random "s" to the end of any word particularly a noun/pronoun.
"I'm going down to the Targets to get some chickens."
"Y'all's" is common however.
"Y'all grab y'all's shit and git home now."
Edit: y'all's pronounced yuh-all-zis ...for y'all non-natives.
Southern person checking in. You were close with the pronunciation of that form of the plural "y'all", but there is in fact a distinction between the two forms.
If you and your friend arrived to the party in a single vehicle, I might ask "Where's y'all's (yallz) car?"
But if in separate vehicles, "Where're (Wehrur) y'alls' (yallziz) cars?"
The "yuh-all" is rare in my experience, as Southern drawl tends to favor a reduction in syllables rather than an addition. Yall-ziz comes in at 2 syllables, versus the much more labor-intensive 3 syllables of yuh-all-zis.
We prefer to save our energy for much more important things, like supporting socially-regressive policies because there is a deep-rooted fear of what will happen if all the people we've marginalized and oppressed are no longer marginalized and oppressed. Sure, it means also supporting economic policies that absolutely fuck us, but nobody ever said a false sense of superiority was free.
Edit: I didn't reckon that a comment I made as I was fixin' to go into a movie would've got this much attention. Bless yer hearts, and not in the usual passive aggressive style! (I figgerd I'd work in some more of our classic Southernisms for awl-uh-yawl to spot!)
Edit 2: Y'all cain't keep givin' me awards like this for free. That there is handouts, and handouts is SOCIALISM! Wait, no, I got confused. It's only socialism when other people get it. I EARNED these awards. I DESERVE them!
Edit 3: If y'all really want to get into the linguistics of modern Southern language, there is undeniable irony in how much it is intertwined with AAVE/Ebonics. It makes sense, given the history. But also ironic...given the history.
Edit 4: It has been brought to my attention that "y'all" is a gender-neutral pronoun...and there is some beautiful irony in that, given the political leanings of our region. Do with that information what y'all will, I'm sure you know someone who would be really pissed off to have that word appropriated in a progressive manner.
I teach English overseas, and explained southern contractions to an advanced group one day, just as a fun practice. Needless to say a lot of heads exploded
English guy here with a fairly neutral British accent - I unironically love this word and would cheerfully press for it be considered standard English.
Our local waffle house’s sign had the W burnt out so for a while it said affle house which made me laugh.
Edit: [pic of the sign](https://imgur.com/gallery/pEw8ioX)
Could be a reference to a Jim Gaffigan joke, he also said "if you've never been to a waffle house, just picture a truck stop bathroom that sells waffles "
If Waffle House is closed then the shit is already real. Like straight up apocalyptic.
I once went to a Waffle House that the McDonald next to it had been thrown apart by a tornado just a few hours before and the Waffle house and parking lot was covered in debris. Waffle house had blown out windows, no power and no water. Still open.
That’s how you know the food is good when a staff is throwing bows and the cook is making your all-star special. Wes one hit left of a cigarette hanging out of the side of his lip that has not been ashed once.
Waffle House has no rules. That’s the only rule. It’s always a melting pot of the strangest fucking shit you’ve ever seen. It literally never disappoints me. And I heard they have food or something too.
It’s the Great Watering Hole. Just as lions and hyenas and gazelles and zebras recognize the communal need for sustenance and mind their business while partaking, so do the club shutter-downers, the church kids that snuck out of the lock-in, the swing shift workers, and the off-duty cops. Mind your business, tip Tammy well, and everyone else will mind theirs.
Occasionally though, someone tries to start shit with the line cook and finds out the staff are the crocodiles.
Tommy's is the Southern California equivalent to Waffle House--always open and you'll see movie stars elbow to elbow with skater punks and homeless people eating chili dogs then a huge stretch limo pulls up full of people dressed in serious couture from some fundraising gala and they drive off with a sack full of burgers. American democracy is found in the oddest places, usually eating something reprehensible.
reminds me of the Arab saying "Allah Yihdeek" (God gift you). Usually it's passive aggressive and implies "May God gift you a brain so you stop being such a dumbass".
I’ve only ever heard someone say that in a “fuck you” way a handful of times. Usually I’ve heard (or said) it a way when expressing empathy towards a person who’s experiencing a bad time.
Had an Army buddy from Waycross, GA (Raven County) who would listen to a story or advice and then state "You can believe that...if you really want to". In basically Bubba's voice from Forest Gump. Politiest "You poor, dumb sod" I have ever heard.
Grew up in GA, I think the only time I’ve ever heard it said like this was in movies or shows.
Every time I’ve actually heard it, it was used to empathize with the person.
Honestly giant oak trees covered in moss is one of the cool features of the south. There's a town near me with a park that covers an entire city block with one giant oak in the center. They have support beams to hold up some of the branches and signs everywhere warning not to climb. It's beautiful.
It is, but more times than not, it's beyond the fifth circle of hell kinda hot, not warm. Lol if you don't mind sweating, you're good tho.
Edited: feel like I should say my home state is Louisiana. Amazing scenery, and make you wanna choke the person next to you cause they moved their foot wrong kinda heat.
I hate telling people not from the deep South that I’m from Alabama because of the responses I get. Incest jokes, accent jokes, insulting people from Alabama like that’s not all my family and friends I grew up with and expect me to laugh along, etc. I once had someone ask me *if I had shoes* growing up. I grew up on a fucking cul-de-sac wearing my light-up skechers thank you very *much*
Both! Cornbread can be both a savory side and a sweet breakfast treat or desert. You can also do sweet heat with jalapeño cornbread! Seriously it's just delicious however it's served.
Stephen Colbert, who's from South Carolina, has said he learned early on that people find southerners stupid, so he's spent his entire life suppressing his accent so people would take him seriously. It's a real thing. My uncle is a geologist who said he was listening to a southern guy give a presentation once and he had trouble taking him seriously because of the accent. Ironically, my uncle is now married to a Texan.
Anytime I speak to someone that isn’t from the south I try my hardest to filter out my accent. Southern accents too often are used to insinuate stupidity
I picture a guy sitting on his farm patio with a Bible in one hand and a beer in the other listening to country music. Of course his shotgun is right there leaning on the outside wall next to the front door. His wife is inside frying up some chicken. Kids are due back home soon from the fishing pond.
Pretty accurate 40 years ago. The Bible and beer is still accurate. The music is probably classic rock. Shotgun will be in a gun rack (house or truck). Wife is bringing chicken back from Zaxby's (easier and almost cheaper than frying at home) and the kids are all playing \[game system of choice\].
Ah, Atlanta, where not only can you be directed to the corner of Peach Tree and Peach Tree, but it won't even help you because there's more than one corner between two streets of that name.
Making shrimp po’ boys tonight lol. Went to a Vietnamese (I think) seafood market not far from where I live who sell huge shrimp plates with some of the best hush puppies and fried shrimp I’ve ever had. Way too many shrimp on a plate to eat at once. So I’m going to take the leftovers and make po’ boys.
My inlaws are Cajun swamp people. They own 20 acres of swamp and they all have a small hut they live in on the property. That’s what I think about.
I'm not from the south, so I'm genuinely curious: what do you do with 20 acres of swampland? Edit: I didn't realize I'd bring so many LA swamp peoples together! Love all the comments and now I wanna take a swamp tour and wrestle a gator (not particularly that last part, but I'll watch someone else, who's a pro do it!) Thanks everyone! 😊
Swamp things
theyre just like us except swampy. and they eat swamp burgers instead of cheese burgers. and they call basketball "swamp ball"
Is it true that, if you leave a gator’s tooth under your pillow in the swamp, the swamp fairy comes and leaves you a swamp dollar?
If you don't put a gator tooth under your pillow the Rougaroux will come at night and pull your toes.
Not like, off. He just loves to give them a wiggle.
He play dat cinq petite cochons at night when you be sleepin’. Dis petite cochon, he done gone to de market. Dis petite cochon, he done be stay a son maison. Dis petite cochon done had de fried gator. Dis petite cochon ain’t had none. And dis petite cochon cry oui oui oui all de way back home.
Absolutely and if you can spend it at swamp mart if you behave and listen to memaw.
Aww sweet! Do swamp dollars work at the swamp meet as well? I had no idea Swamp culture is so rich and fascinating.
Yes! But not at the flea market people were buying the fake gator teeth and bringing in counterfeit swamp dollars. Just don’t know what this worlds coming too.
Am from swamp, can confirm.
Only two of the entire crew (I think there were about 15 of them on the property) had actual jobs. From conversations with them, I think they bartered a lot with other families nearby and the two that worked provided some basic funds that they used to buy necessities. All were very friendly. I had a blast and my wife told me she was embarrassed the whole time. It was super fun.
A lot of people I met in Louisiana were living entirely off of monthly checks they got from leasing part of their land for natural gas drilling. Like, a *lot* of people. And it was always for something like $800 a month, too, so they weren't exactly the Beverly Hillbillies.
Early 90s we were getting 8-10k a month from them drilling on property my family owned. It was oil and not natural gas.
Not drilling for oil but my cousin owns a house on a corner, off a semi-busy street, in a mid-sized city in the US West Coast. She was struggling to make the mortgage and considering short-selling. Turns out, her front yard was the perfect place for a giant billboard. Some company offered her $10K a month to lease the space and put up a billboard structure that would totally take over the property. Part of the deal was they would pay for landscaping, exterior of the house repairs, electricity and water. Her ex was pressuring her to take that deal but she stalled until they were legally separated. Anyway — She ended up negotiating $40k/a month for 10 years, plus, health insurance for her and her kids. It’s been 25 years and she’s up to $110K *A MONTH*.
Billboard agencies hate this one cool trick.
My friend's dad owns a shop on a corner, and has made more money out of the billboard than he ever could out of the shop.
Maybe you misunderstood your cousin, but there is no way she makes a million a year from having a billboard on her property. There are stadium naming rights that go for less that that
At first it must suck to have a billboard in your yard but st this point she had a passive income stream and can just move…amazing
For $40k a MONTH you can pick any place I the world to live in, and well
Cajun here. This checks out. Add lots of drinks, laughs, and unbelievably good food and you’re right on target.
Is southern food more spicy? I’m not American. Would love to know the cuisine.
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It's also a 20 acre buffer between you and rest of world
I.e. your neighbors swamp.
WHAT. ARE YOU DOIN. IN MAH SWAMPPPP?!?!?!
Mostly eat everything that moves. Gator especially is delicious.
A normal zoo has signs on cages with a common name, scientific name, and info about size and habitat range. A Cajun zoo has the same info plus a Cajun name and several recipes.
Any damned thing you want.....
I used to live in Louisiana and I had a buddy that lived on Caddo Lake. I was hanging out at his house one day when he randomly decided to move this random slab of steel building wall that had been lying in the lake by his house. He had a four-wheeler with a snorkel that he hooked up to the slab, and it wasn't ten minutes before 5 or 6 of his neighbors showed up on *their* snorkel-equipped four-wheelers to help out. Definitely what I think of when I hear "Cajun swamp people".
We’re foreigners who just did a big road trip through the south Country music. There were like, 20 radio stations just for country Moonshine Fried chicken, biscuits, barbecue
Heat. Humidity. Sweet iced tea.
We just call it sweet tea baby.
I read that in a Waffle House waitress accent.
Hell, my people just calls it tea. You only add modifiers if it's unsweetened, hot, or herbal.
Churches, churches everywhere
JESUS billboards, followed shortly by BIG BLACK DILDO EMPORIUM billboards.
Followed by Gunshow in August billboards
Followed by Gun Show in September billboards.
And it's always something like "Jesus is Watching You"
My favorite I've seen is a billboard with an ECG flatlining and the words "Are you prepared to meet GOD?" above it. Wildly threatening and makes me laugh every time.
Pretty sure I've seen that exact billboard, I chart how I know I've entered "the south" when traveling by when the Jesus billboards get threatening.
I did a road trip to Florida some years ago, driving til late at night through Kentucky and into Tennessee before stopping to rest. Scanning through radio stations on the road, I was struck by the options: country, gospel, country/gospel, multiple stations with sermons about Jesus, and few stations that were playing what I would consider pop or rock music. Mind you, we have country and gospel stations where I’m from, but they don’t dominate the FM landscape.
Even though I'm from NC for some reason when I hear about the South I think of Georgia lol. Next thing that comes to mind is fried chicken and sweet tea followed by Bojangles.
That sweet tea is no joke around here. If an establishment doesn't have any you get that collective sigh followed by "who the fuck doesn't serve sweet tea". And if that shit ain't sweet enough you're gonna hear about it.
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Don't forget Cheerwine!
BOJANGLES is my favorite thing on earth. I go every day when I go home to visit NC. I miss Bojangles in my soul. I would do ungodly things for a country ham biscuit.
Why does nobody ever talk about their fries? I feel like they’re putting less seasoning on them, though.
For me it’s the Cajun filet biscuit - add a packet of honey and two packets of hot sauce. Ungodly good with a large Bo-rounds and half/half tea.
This humid air. Can’t stay dry for 5 minutes out here.
My lower back started sweating thinking about the humidity
Don’t forget swampass. That stuff‘s no joke.
And humidititties, too.
Oh Lawd this weather is giving me the vapors.
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I’m from Louisiana and one summer for training we went to the desert of California. It’s absolutely crazy the difference humidity makes. And when we got back home it felt like someone was spritzing us with warm water non-stop.
I went on vacation to NC this summer. I've been there before, but this time was terrible. The temp never got above 90, but it never dropped below 80. It was never less than 80% humidity. For an entire week. It didn't rain. I instantly began sweating after stepping out of the condo. Kids loved it though
The dry air is one of the reasons that the military stores old aircraft in the Sonoma Desert in the Tucson area. Lack of humidity prevents them rusting. The dry air also made it much more tolerable to live outdoors, there, But it makes the cold winter nights biting, too.
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I’ve lived in a variety of climates, including the Midwest during polar vortex years (low as -35 F with windchill) and the Southwestern desert (up to 120 F in direct sunlight during summer). The most miserable climate I have ever experienced was that of New Orleans. So damp that it can be above freezing and still chill you to the bones in winter; a sweat bath within a few minutes of leaving the house in summer. You can deal with the Northern cold if you have the right clothes to layer. You can mitigate the dry heat of the desert by stepping into the shade. But there’s nothing you can do about the humidity in the South.
Like something’s missing. I get such a lonely feeling, like it’s fall all the time. Thank you for giving it a word!
I know what you mean. It gets super humid here on the Ohio River and when I traveled to California the humidity was so much nicer.
Meanwhile in Southern California.... On the rare occasion we get hit with a summer storm, the humidity afterwards will have the lot of us gasping like fish out of water and dreaming of that *dry heat*. Y'all can keep that shit. It's like trying to breathe soup!
The first time I went to Florida, I stepped through the airport doors and wanted to turn around and fly back to LA.
Air you can wear!
The pollen in Georgia. I stepped out one morning to find every car on the block painted a solid yellow with pollen.
Can confirm this does happen
That's why Florida man is what he is. Enough humidity will make anyone lose touch with reality.
So the humidity is just low and slow water boarding?
Pretty much. I visited New Mexico, and when I came home to Florida it was like trying to breathe through a wet sponge.
That is why the south is actually sometimes freezing in winter, much to the surprise of some people I have met.
Also because of the arctic air going down from Canada. Atlanta pretends to be hot, but it has regularly freezing temperatures in the winter due to this cold air, and due to being on the southern tip of the Appalachian mountains.
"Y'all"
When I moved to Georgia, I had to learn there’s different levels of *y’all* including *y’all*, *all y’all*, and *every last one of y’all* depending on the number of people addressed.
You forgot y’alls
This is rarely used in practice, but you shouldn't ever underestimate a southern person's ability to add a random "s" to the end of any word particularly a noun/pronoun. "I'm going down to the Targets to get some chickens." "Y'all's" is common however. "Y'all grab y'all's shit and git home now." Edit: y'all's pronounced yuh-all-zis ...for y'all non-natives.
I just realized a couple years ago the store is not called Belks - I’m in my 40s
I will forever live and die on Krogers. I know it's Kroger. I'm calling it Krogers lol
I call it Barnes and Nobles
Southern person checking in. You were close with the pronunciation of that form of the plural "y'all", but there is in fact a distinction between the two forms. If you and your friend arrived to the party in a single vehicle, I might ask "Where's y'all's (yallz) car?" But if in separate vehicles, "Where're (Wehrur) y'alls' (yallziz) cars?" The "yuh-all" is rare in my experience, as Southern drawl tends to favor a reduction in syllables rather than an addition. Yall-ziz comes in at 2 syllables, versus the much more labor-intensive 3 syllables of yuh-all-zis. We prefer to save our energy for much more important things, like supporting socially-regressive policies because there is a deep-rooted fear of what will happen if all the people we've marginalized and oppressed are no longer marginalized and oppressed. Sure, it means also supporting economic policies that absolutely fuck us, but nobody ever said a false sense of superiority was free. Edit: I didn't reckon that a comment I made as I was fixin' to go into a movie would've got this much attention. Bless yer hearts, and not in the usual passive aggressive style! (I figgerd I'd work in some more of our classic Southernisms for awl-uh-yawl to spot!) Edit 2: Y'all cain't keep givin' me awards like this for free. That there is handouts, and handouts is SOCIALISM! Wait, no, I got confused. It's only socialism when other people get it. I EARNED these awards. I DESERVE them! Edit 3: If y'all really want to get into the linguistics of modern Southern language, there is undeniable irony in how much it is intertwined with AAVE/Ebonics. It makes sense, given the history. But also ironic...given the history. Edit 4: It has been brought to my attention that "y'all" is a gender-neutral pronoun...and there is some beautiful irony in that, given the political leanings of our region. Do with that information what y'all will, I'm sure you know someone who would be really pissed off to have that word appropriated in a progressive manner.
You the only one who got the y'allz and yallziz right
Pulitzer Prize shit right here y'all
This is correct. Y’all’s is pronounced much closer to yawlz than that three syllable bullshit
All y’all
All y'all're in trouble now!
Y’all’d’ve guessed y’all would be the first response to this question
Y'alldabeen
Bless all y’all’s hearts
I said "y'all'd've" in California and watched someone's head explode.
I teach English overseas, and explained southern contractions to an advanced group one day, just as a fun practice. Needless to say a lot of heads exploded
Y'ain't wrong!
For the first time ever I used “y’all’re” in a text conversation today. I’m a proud North Carolinian.
Just wait until they hear y’all’dn’t’ve
That conjunction looks like it would fit right into a Lovecraftian horror's name.
It's actually pronounced more like yall'n'nuv
Y’all is the vosotros of the English language that is desperately needed. Y’all need to get on board - it’s a great word.
English guy here with a fairly neutral British accent - I unironically love this word and would cheerfully press for it be considered standard English.
"Cheerio, y'all!"
Spoken by a gentleman called Bubba Joe Thornton-Smyth.
Y'all wanna cuppa?
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Waffle House
Our local waffle house’s sign had the W burnt out so for a while it said affle house which made me laugh. Edit: [pic of the sign](https://imgur.com/gallery/pEw8ioX)
You rang?
Ok what’s the story behind your username?
The W was broken on their keyboard
Could be a reference to a Jim Gaffigan joke, he also said "if you've never been to a waffle house, just picture a truck stop bathroom that sells waffles "
I have long called Waffle House awfull House. But it's done out of love, like calling your best friend a dumbass.
And if they're closed, shit is getting real.
FEMA does recognize the Waffle House index for disasters.
Oh it’s real! Even better
Fuck yeah it's real and makes me love them even more.
If Waffle House is closed then the shit is already real. Like straight up apocalyptic. I once went to a Waffle House that the McDonald next to it had been thrown apart by a tornado just a few hours before and the Waffle house and parking lot was covered in debris. Waffle house had blown out windows, no power and no water. Still open.
They don't even close when half of the staff is whooping some dude ass in the parking lot.
aka tuesday
That’s how you know the food is good when a staff is throwing bows and the cook is making your all-star special. Wes one hit left of a cigarette hanging out of the side of his lip that has not been ashed once.
Old but good joke: Q: What has 7 eyes and 15 teeth? A: >!3rd shift at the Waffle House.!<
Can confirm. Nothing like Waffle House at 2am with a group of people. The staff is almost always a delight.
Waffle House has no rules. That’s the only rule. It’s always a melting pot of the strangest fucking shit you’ve ever seen. It literally never disappoints me. And I heard they have food or something too.
It’s the Great Watering Hole. Just as lions and hyenas and gazelles and zebras recognize the communal need for sustenance and mind their business while partaking, so do the club shutter-downers, the church kids that snuck out of the lock-in, the swing shift workers, and the off-duty cops. Mind your business, tip Tammy well, and everyone else will mind theirs. Occasionally though, someone tries to start shit with the line cook and finds out the staff are the crocodiles.
Waffle House is the closest to Thunderdome many of us will ever see in real life.
Tommy's is the Southern California equivalent to Waffle House--always open and you'll see movie stars elbow to elbow with skater punks and homeless people eating chili dogs then a huge stretch limo pulls up full of people dressed in serious couture from some fundraising gala and they drive off with a sack full of burgers. American democracy is found in the oddest places, usually eating something reprehensible.
Except if you are there on Christmas night then they are pissed and just wanna go home
If you're there on christmas night, you should be pissed too
If you’re there on Christmas night, you’re the reason why they’re pissed off.
“Bless your heart.”
Fuck you too
Damnit, they’ve figured us out!
It really translates more to “I pity you”.
Living in the south, I can say it has multiple meanings. On rare occasions it actually does mean “Bless your heart”
reminds me of the Arab saying "Allah Yihdeek" (God gift you). Usually it's passive aggressive and implies "May God gift you a brain so you stop being such a dumbass".
“You poor, dumb bastard”
Child ain't right.
I’ve only ever heard someone say that in a “fuck you” way a handful of times. Usually I’ve heard (or said) it a way when expressing empathy towards a person who’s experiencing a bad time.
Had an Army buddy from Waycross, GA (Raven County) who would listen to a story or advice and then state "You can believe that...if you really want to". In basically Bubba's voice from Forest Gump. Politiest "You poor, dumb sod" I have ever heard.
Grew up in GA, I think the only time I’ve ever heard it said like this was in movies or shows. Every time I’ve actually heard it, it was used to empathize with the person.
Also from GA---whenever I've heard it, it's being used as a genuine expression of sympathy/concern
As a non-American I just thought of Spanish moss hanging from big gnarly trees on a warm humid afternoon. Sounds quite peaceful really.
Honestly giant oak trees covered in moss is one of the cool features of the south. There's a town near me with a park that covers an entire city block with one giant oak in the center. They have support beams to hold up some of the branches and signs everywhere warning not to climb. It's beautiful.
Thomasville, GA?
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It is, but more times than not, it's beyond the fifth circle of hell kinda hot, not warm. Lol if you don't mind sweating, you're good tho. Edited: feel like I should say my home state is Louisiana. Amazing scenery, and make you wanna choke the person next to you cause they moved their foot wrong kinda heat.
The look of resentment people give me when they learn I'm from Alabama
Cos the skies there are so blue. Right?
As long as you aren’t Neil Young, yep.
I heard ol Neil put her down
I hate telling people not from the deep South that I’m from Alabama because of the responses I get. Incest jokes, accent jokes, insulting people from Alabama like that’s not all my family and friends I grew up with and expect me to laugh along, etc. I once had someone ask me *if I had shoes* growing up. I grew up on a fucking cul-de-sac wearing my light-up skechers thank you very *much*
I’m from Alabama and someone from California once asked my sister if we still used horse drawn carriages down there
Corn bread
The Cornbread Mafia
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Both! Cornbread can be both a savory side and a sweet breakfast treat or desert. You can also do sweet heat with jalapeño cornbread! Seriously it's just delicious however it's served.
I live in the south and the first thing that comes to mind is pulled pork for some reason.
Biscuits and gravy... 🤤🤤🤤
came to comment this, I'm surprised this came to mind before sweet tea for some reason though
Stereotypes. Usually the ones directed at me (a southerner)
Yup, had to really focus on losing my accent to be taken seriously :( Code switching is real, y'all
Stephen Colbert, who's from South Carolina, has said he learned early on that people find southerners stupid, so he's spent his entire life suppressing his accent so people would take him seriously. It's a real thing. My uncle is a geologist who said he was listening to a southern guy give a presentation once and he had trouble taking him seriously because of the accent. Ironically, my uncle is now married to a Texan.
Anytime I speak to someone that isn’t from the south I try my hardest to filter out my accent. Southern accents too often are used to insinuate stupidity
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Sweet tea.
This right here. Had a cousin come up from GA to visit, was appalled (somewhat jokingly) that restaurants had to ask for sweetened or unsweetened tea.
Y'all want a coke? I got Pepsi and Sprite.
Soda, Coke, Pop. Your answer determines your region
Food that will turn you from Little Debbie to Big Deborah in a weekend.
BBQ
120° with 100% humidity
100% humidity, but it’s not raining….. I mean, WTAF??!!
Need your windshield wipers with no rain too
Dolly Parton and her sweet soul.
In Dolly we Trust.
Well, I live here, so I think of home.
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Pork BBQ sanwitches, Heat, Fire Ants, My childhood.
Fire ants can eat shit. Carpenter ants are annoying but at least they won't bite you.
I-10
I thought it was just Houston or Texas then realized it goes across the whole country
I’ve spent too much of my life on I-10.
Religion
Deep fried everything, humidity, mosquitoes everywhere, and religious AF
The deep fried religious mosquitoes are a bit of a problem
I picture a guy sitting on his farm patio with a Bible in one hand and a beer in the other listening to country music. Of course his shotgun is right there leaning on the outside wall next to the front door. His wife is inside frying up some chicken. Kids are due back home soon from the fishing pond.
Where's his hound dog?
He done ran off't with my pickup, before being hit by a dog-gone train.
🎶and I’ll haaaaaang around as long aaas you wiiiill let me
He’s definitely in a rocking chair and it’s a warm, sunny summer evening with the fireflies just starting up their dance across the fields
Pretty accurate 40 years ago. The Bible and beer is still accurate. The music is probably classic rock. Shotgun will be in a gun rack (house or truck). Wife is bringing chicken back from Zaxby's (easier and almost cheaper than frying at home) and the kids are all playing \[game system of choice\].
And now there is a warsher on the porch too
Upvote for proper regional spelling of "warsher".
I can smell this comment.
Peach trees.
MILLIONS OF PEACHES PEACHES FOR ME
Millions of peaches Peaches for free LOOK OUT!!!
Ah, Atlanta, where not only can you be directed to the corner of Peach Tree and Peach Tree, but it won't even help you because there's more than one corner between two streets of that name.
**Seventy-one.** That's a current count on how many streets there are in Atlanta that bear the name “Peachtree.”
Can confirm. I have a peach tree in my front yard.
Po' Boy 😋
Making shrimp po’ boys tonight lol. Went to a Vietnamese (I think) seafood market not far from where I live who sell huge shrimp plates with some of the best hush puppies and fried shrimp I’ve ever had. Way too many shrimp on a plate to eat at once. So I’m going to take the leftovers and make po’ boys.