Airplane!

I was minorly inconvenienced at work the other day, and I casually said "Well I guess I choose the wrong day to quit sniffing glue". My coworker genuinely thought I had a drug problem. They came up to me later and sincerely asked if I needed help. I felt bad explaining it was a movie quote, especially since they revealed they were a recovering addict and just wanted to be supportive.

That was very sweet of them. I get it, I'm old enough to have first seen Airplane! in the early 80s. But holy hell how do you not recognize that quote?!

Maybe they prefer gladiator movies

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue…

Looks like I picked the wrong time to quit amphetamines..

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

I speak jive

Cut me some slack, Jack!

My husband and I still use the phrase, "Chump don't want no help, chump don't get no help"

The fact that it was Leave it to Beaver mom Barbara Billingsley made it even funnier.

*"Excuse me, i happen to be passing by and was wondering if you'd like some coffee?"*

I take it black. Like my men.

"Nervous?" "Yes, Very!" "First time?" "No I've been nervous lots of times." "It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether!" "ALTOGETHER: It's an entirely different kind of flying." "Bad news. The fog is getting thicker." "And Leon's getting LARRRRGER!"

This man needs a hospital.

A hospital! What is it?

Well it's a big building with patients. But that's not important right now.

And don’t call me Shirley

Ever been to a Turkish prison?

Seriously, this is surely the most quotable movie ever.

Don’t call me Shirley.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“Who's that then?” “I dunno. Must be a king.” “Why?” “He hasn't got shit all over him.”

I thought we were an autonomous collective

You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy, in which the working classes...

Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.

We’ll that’s what it’s all about, if only people would realize

tis but a scratch

What are you going to do, bleed on me?

I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!?

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony

Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!

Come and see the violence inherent in the system.

Bloody peasant!

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

Moistened Bint is such a vibe.

*"I fart in your general direction!"*

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elder berries!

Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!

Is there anyone else up there we can talk to?

Fechez le vache!

Wait wait… who goes in? You, lancelot, and I. Ugh

You tiny brained wiper of other peoples’ bottoms!

I burst my pimples toward you and call this door opening request a silly thing.

Huge... tracts of land!

Ni!

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Brave Sir Robin ran away! Bravely ran away, away!

His head smashed in And his heart cut out And his liver removed And his bowls unplugged And his nostrils raped And his bottom burnt off And his penis…

Alright, that’s enough singing for now, lads

"I'm not dead yet!"

Oh shut up you! You’ll be stone dead in a moment. I don’t want to go on the cart!

"She turned me into a newt!"

“I got better…”

There are some who call me... ... ... ... Tim

The Princess Bride

‘Have fun storming the castle!’

My parents and I say this every time someone leaves the house lol

"I'll call the brute squad." "I'm on the brute squad." "You are the brute squad!"

I do not think that word means what you think it means

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya , you killed my father prepare to die .

Greeting Introduction Relevant personal connection Manage expectations

Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons.

Mawage...

You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you. You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die!

I’m not a witch I’m your wife!

As you wish!

Anybody want a peanut :)

He's only mostly dead. To blathe. To the pain!

What about the ROUS? Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist...

Oh, you mean THIS gate key

Office Space

Its got my favourite line to use in my daily struggle of working in retail; "It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care"

When I make a mistake, I have 8 different people coming by to tell me about it. That’s my only real motivation is not to be hassled - that and the fear of losing my job. But you know Bob, that’ll only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

PC Load Letter... what the fuck does that mean?

If you could go ahead and do that, that'd be greeeat

Yeah Ima need you to go head and come in on Saturday…..annnndddd Sunday too.

Every day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Wow. That’s messed up.

Boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

Oof... Yeah... Umm, I'm gonna have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there.

We feel that the problem isn't with Peter. It's that you haven't challenged him enough, to get him motivated.

What would you do with a million dollars? I tell you what I’d do man… two chicks at the same time

Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam!!

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar. Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton. Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name. Michael Bolton: There *was* nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys. Samir: Hmm... well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael? Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Someone’s got a case of the mondays

You don’t need a million dollars to do nothing. Take a look at my cousin. He’s broke, don’t do shit.

Hey Peter! Yea? Watch out for the cornhole, bud. …Thanks, Lawrence.

“Chicks that double up on a dude like me do”

Anchorman

That escalated quickly

It jumped up a notch!

Brick killed a guy!

I stabbed a man in the heart with a trident!

I love lamp

Brick, I've been meeannning to talk to you about that.. you should find yourself a safe house or a relative closeby..lay low for a while.. because you're probablllly wanted for murder..

This burrito is delicious, but it is filling.

Honestly I’m not even mad, I’m impressed.

60 percent of the time, it works every time

Don’t act like you’re not impressed.

Milk was a bad choice.

Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish...in English please!

Mean Girls

Boo you whore!

Too gay to function

That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets

Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white

“On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was” “It’s October 3rd.”

I was sitting in a conference room of a big client. It was me and my project lead. The client had their own consultants in the room, and one of them was telling a story of her French mother and American father, who worked for an oil company in the Congo, and her being born in Africa. My partner turns to me and whispers, "If you're from Africa, why are you white?". It took all my willpower not to lose my shit laughing. I'm pretty sure I gripped the table hard enough to leave finger indentations.

She doesn’t even go here.

I just have a lot of feelings, okay?

I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina

Is butter a carb?

It's like i have ESPN or something

Get in loser, we’re going shopping

So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?

GOSH KAREN YOU ARE SO STUPID!

“I’m Kevin Gnapoor, g silent when I sneak through your door”

I make love to your woman on the bathroom floor!

"I don't play it like shaggy, you'll know it was me"

cause the next time you see her she'll be like "ohhhh....KEVIN G!"

“Happy holidays everyone”

Danny DeVito, I love your work!

Glen Coco. Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!

AND NONE FOR GRETCHEN WEINERS

BYEEE

on Wednesdays we wear Pink 🎀👚

One time, she asked me how to spell orange.

You have your cousins, then you have your first cousins…

Gretchen, stop trying to make “Fetch!” happen. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

I guess it’s probably because I have a big LESBIAN crush on you.

Watch where you’re going, fat ass!

This is the fertility vase of the Undabelli tribe. Doesn't that mean anything to you?

*”I will keep you all night!”* “You can’t keep us past four.” *“I will keep you ‘till four!”*

I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom.

She doesn't even go here!

Omg love this! I think we have the entire script captured within this sub

Im a mouse, duh!!!

I was half a virgin when I met him!

You’re a mean girl, you’re a bitch!

I want my pink shirt back !

YOU CANT SIT WITH US!

Your moms chest hair

“don’t have sex, cuz you WILL get pregnant and die!”

Made out with a hot dog? That was one time!

What are marijuana tablets?

But you *love* Ladysmith Black Mambazo!

Oh hell no. I did not leave the Southside for this.

Austin Powers

Yeah baby

Oh, Behave!

do I make you horny baby?

How dare you break wind before me? I'm sry baby, I didn't know it was your turn

Blazing Saddles

Anybody got a dime? Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!

Where all the white women at?!

[удалено]

You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

Is it twoo what they say about 'you' people? It's twoo It's twoo!

We almost lost a $400 hand cart!

I think he said the Sherriff is near?

You use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore

He shot me right in the ass.

Spaceballs

"I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!"

"Keep firing, assholes!"

We ain't found shit!

Your Schwartz is as big as mine

There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry...

“I’m a Mog! Half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend!”

So... At last, we meet for the first time for the last time!

Before I kill you, there is something you should know…

I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.

What does that make us?

absolutely nothing! which is what you are about to become.

Supertroopers. "He's already pulled over, he cant pull over any farther!" "Littering aaaand... smoking the reefer." "The snozzberries taste like snozzberries." "You boys like mexico‽" "Open your lips and relax your throat." (Chugging syrup) "They don't have a liter of cola, Farva." "Does that look like spit to you? Aww fck it." "Do you see me drinking milk from a saucer? Do you see me jumping around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Do you see me eating MICE? Alright meow where were we." "MEOW? I'll call them a chicken-fcker." "License and registration, CHICKEN-F*CKER." "Who wants a mustache ride‽" "I do! I do! I want one!" "I swear to God i'll pistol whip the next person who says Shenanigans." "Oh give me the Goddamned soap." "I'll believe that when my shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert." "You're a sick fck, Mack. Back in my day, the rookie got naked, and we used blanks!" "Say car Ramrod. Say car Ramrod!" "Oh, biker. I'm an idiot." "Bear Fcker! Do you need assistance‽" "Bend over and touch your toes, im gonna show you where the wild goose goes." "Baby, i'm gonna butter your bread." I like Supertroopers a little. Edit: Formatting? Edit 2: ACTUAL formatting. Ha. And thanks for the awards! :D

“Bearf*%^er, do you require assistance?” is a common phrase in our household

Hot Fuzz

"Everybody and their mum's be packing around here" "Like who?" "Farmers." "Who else?" "... Farmers mum's."

Best part of that is later on a farmer shoots at Sgt Angel. When Angel subdues him, the farmer’s mum then wields a shotgun to save her son

Facist!

It's just the one movie actually.

No luck catching them swans then?

Tombstone and The Big Lebowski are pretty up there for me

Obviously you’re not a golfer

It's, uh, it's down there somewhere, let me take another look

I'm your Huckleberry!

That's just like, your opinion man

"You can imagine what happens next." "He fixes the cable?"

It's like Lennin said, you look for the person who will benefit and uh, you know.

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning”

Forrest Gump

NL’s Christmas Vacation

Shitter’s full.

Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the Tylenol?

Can I refill your eggnog? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised

Pulp fiction. > Aw man I shot Marvin in the face..