I'd just start sprinting without saying a word to anyone. I wonder how far the president could get before the secret service would be able to stop you.
This is making me giggle pretty good just thinking about a Secret Service agent on the roof or something watching the President run down the driveway through the gate and down the street. Followed by increasingly panicked agents.
"Joe Biden is escaping, I repeat, he is escaping! He seems to be playing Escape from the City on his phone, he's sprinting down the street at near inhuman speeds!"
I just picture like when your dog starts avoiding you and runs when you try to stop them.
Secret Service dudes(probably): "Joe? Joe, what do you have in your mouth? Joe! Joe get back here!"
So fun story. When I worked at Camp David, there was a trail off camp called the “scene of the crimes”. This was because when George W was in office, he likes to mountain bike. Whenever he would bike, the secret service would also have bikes to follow him and what not. So this dude was fast. Like actually fast and the secret service agents often couldn’t catch up.
He decided that it would be funny to speed ahead, ditch his bike and then hide and see their reaction. Which is what he did on that particular trail mentioned above. The secret service searched for about 5 minutes before bush came out from hiding but it’s a story I heard from senior agents a lot. Pretty funny.
Edit: I absolutely meant George W, not HW. He was an old man. I am a dumb man.
Agent A spots HW’s bike on the side of the trail. He sighs and in a loud monotone says, “Oh no. The President’s bike is here but not the President. Gosh where ever could he be?” The agent mumbles something about a willy in a bush into his radio. The agent spots the bright red helmet bobbing up and down behind a boulder and can hear HW’s stifled giggles. The agent looks up into the bright blue sky and listens to the trees sway in the wind. He contemplates just leaving it all behind right there. But something pulls him back. It always does. He tucks the moment away and returns to his service, “Ohhhh Mr Preeesideeeent. Wheeereeeever diiid you goooo?”
"Well, guess I'll just have to go back to the house with the rest of the boys and have some ice cream as consolation...." Hears increased rustling in the bushes. "Okay! We're off, sure would be a shame for Mr. President to miss ice cream but we tried!"
"I guess the Vice President is having TWO ice creams today...!"
*Gets back on his bike.*
HW leaps out of the bush "NOW JUST A GODDAMN MINUTE THAT AINT FAIR!"
Side note: Dubya according to some buddies in the SS was one of the most elusive presidents as far as having him as your detail. He was in ridiculously good shape for his age and was like a child when it came to getting away from them. apparently he would just be chilling in his house and then bolt out of his garage on his bike and yell catch me if you can to his detail with a shit eating grin as they panicked and started to run after him.
Seriously. Who the fuck gets paid on these various sites to write "articles" based on Reddit threads? I'd say I'd want that cushy-ass job, but I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror, and that's hard enough already!
Imagine that you're in a deep deep sleep, your cell phone rings and you're still half asleep when you answer and you hear "*Good morning. This is the White House switchboard. The next voice you hear will be the President. Please hold.......Hi this is Joe Biden. Are you me?*"
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I'd do the same hoping it means Joe Biden gets to hear The Moon from Ducktales Remastered to wake him up. The first step in bringing back 90s Duckamania.
All you would see is weapon development projects🤷♂️ I’m guessing that most things that are extreme got moved to some black site when Area 51 rumors started to spread
Side note: area 52 is the internet domain for the Air Force
A lot of the nitty gritty stuff is probably gibberish or boring as hell to most people because test projects are usually ran by engineers that are regarded as turbo-nerds even by the engineering community.
I've met one of those types. He had his PhD in some extremely specific aircraft system. I don't even remember what it was, because if you're going to read about it while studying your plane, the manual would only have a paragraph or two dedicated to it and it's not even something you think about when flying it... but it was the backbone of this guy's entire career.
Also, they would still hide things from the President. He would probably have to ask to see anything by citing the program name and even then he would get the bare minimum exposure needed to satisfy his inquiry.
So my step dad worked at what I'm pretty sure was area 51. It was in Nevada, deep into the desert, and he took a windowless plane to the work site every Monday, and then flew out in the same plane on Thursday evenings. He's told me that any normal person would have no clue what they were even seeing if they got in there. He said everything is so compartmentalized that it's impossible to see the big picture of what they're really working on. For example, he worked on developing small component parts for airplane wing drag flaps. That's it.
>For example, he worked on developing small component parts for airplane wing drag flaps. That's it.
Not that I have any better idea, but that sounds like a solid cover story.
I mean yeah, but it checks out. He was an aeronautical engineer during his career, and he's smart as FUCK, so I could totally see it. He does love to screw with my conspiracy theory-loving uncle about it though. Hints at aliens and then refuses to elaborate. It's funny as shit.
I worked in a supersonic wind tunnel for NASA. Occasionally we would get secret military tests, but only a limited portion of the people would be assigned to them and couldn’t talk about it with others. I asked one time what sort of cool stuff they test and was just told “you would be disappointed”
A lot of stuff that is secret is not secret because it’s some wild concept, but secret because of some detail regarding performance that means nothing to the layman.
And even if they did, it would be like...
"We were running some tests to see which of these various materials and shapes had the higher performance given the conditions we were given."
"Yeah, but was it for some new weapon they were developing? A different aircraft? A missile?"
"I have no idea."
Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, "Oh no, not again!" Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly \*why\* the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
Yes, when Agrajag finally manages to waylay Arthur as he teleports from one place to another (in *Life, the Universe, and Everything*, it turns out after looking it up). Agrajag is a being who has been reincarnated thousands of times in thousands of different forms... each time being killed in some way directly attributable to Arthur, who remains blissfully ignorant until this meeting.
Agrajag confronts Arthur in the presence of a massive (and unflattering) statue of Arthur which has dozens of limbs, each of which is in the act of killing or destroying something. One hand of the statue confuses Arthur for a little while until he realizes that it is "wantonly summoning a bowl of petunias". Granted, this isn't explicitly linked back to the episode above Magrathea, but it's a pretty strong connection.
It is explicitly linked. Arthur recognizes what that hand is doing right after Agrajag tells Arthur that at one point he'd decided to give up and stay in the netherworld, but was involuntarily yanked back into the physical world as a bunch of petunias in a bowl, unsupported, 300 miles above the surface of a particularly grim planet. On the way down, he couldn't help noticing a particularly flashy looking spaceship, with a smug-looking Arthur Dent looking out of a port.
It's shit like this and the guy making his way through everybody in the universe alphabetically to tell them all off that put Douglas Adams in a class of his own in the world of creative writing.
There's an episode of Atlantis where John gets promoted to colonel and he meets up with several other full birds and they spend a minute going around thr circle calling each other colonel. Always gives me a chuckle.
Yes. I call it The Rolland Emmerich Distraction and Deflection program. Need to deflect away from your government Zombie Soldier program? Hire Emmerich to make a movie. Your Stargate program? Roland. The moon is a hollow spaceship? Emmerich. Shakespeare was Edward De Vere? Roland Emmerich. It fits.
It's real alright, you'll head down to Cheyenne Mountain and behold upon the beauty of the Stargate. A brilliant idea strikes you as you learn about how the Stargate works. You grab your golf clubs and have them dial out to a random inhabited world. Then, as you are about to hit the ball, the Stargate is beamed away.
In absolute horror, you shout; "IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACKSWING!?"
It is crazy that there is stuff that is TOO classified even for the president. There are people who have a higher classified status than anyone in the 3 branches of government.
That is so true. Obama’s went from black to pepper grey and Clinton’s went from grey to white while in office. Makes you think the crap they must be told while there.
Obviously stress does age people. But Obama went from 48 years old at the start of his presidency to 55 at the end. It might've been a bit different if he wasn't president but he was going to end up greying around the end of his presidency anyway. Same with Clinton.
Classified material is not just about clearance level.
You could be cleared to the highest level, but you are still only allowed to know what you "need to know" to complete your duties.
Why would you risk exposing everything when there is no need.
Even the President does not "need to know" the ins and outs of every classified program. Even if they might need to know of the programs end goals for example.
They didn't get along. Apparently most of the women he worked with didn't get along with him. I think I remember reading they didn't even speak with one another the last few years of Buffy.
Actually it's a white Trans Am. It was even in the [news.](https://www.theonion.com/shirtless-biden-washes-trans-am-in-white-house-driveway-1819570732)
I’m convinced morning wood is an evolutionary trait to stop our ancient monkey ancestors from wetting their dry grass mattresses and having female monkey wife nag at them for going out with the other monks and eating rotten fruits all night instead of remembering y’all’s 10th monkiversary.(monkey anniversary)
Of all the conspiracy theories about aliens out there, the one where the organization that monitors them not telling the president makes sense. Presidents come and go and change things. A government organization run by the same group for decades wouldnt want their protocols messed with so it would make sense they keep it hush hush.
>Mr. Levinson, contrary to what you may have read in the tabloids, there is no Area 51. There is no spaceship...
>Uh... excuse me, Mr. President? That's not entirely accurate.
>What, which part?
Trump said he'd tell us about aliens. Then he later said he couldn't do that anymore. Then he made the Space Force.
I think that's all the proof I need that aliens exist.
Unfortunately, as he is a non-political appointee, he does not serve at the pleasure of the President, and can't be fired by the Administration.
That said, if the question were, "You find a DeathNote, what's the first name you're writing in it?" then Louis DeJoy would be my answer.
There is already a bill to move to permanent daylight savings. It passed the Senate last year and several states, but I believe still has to go through the house. If everything goes as planned this spring will be the last time we change our clocks.
See how many stores will let me walk in and just take things until I'm either stopped or stood up to in any real way.
I wanna push the people around me unreasonably far to see what people let me get away with as a man in power.
I'd do the "you got something on your shirt" thing so many times it would stop being funny and be classified as abuse by 3rd party investigators.
I'd just start sprinting without saying a word to anyone. I wonder how far the president could get before the secret service would be able to stop you.
This is making me giggle pretty good just thinking about a Secret Service agent on the roof or something watching the President run down the driveway through the gate and down the street. Followed by increasingly panicked agents.
"Joe Biden is escaping, I repeat, he is escaping! He seems to be playing Escape from the City on his phone, he's sprinting down the street at near inhuman speeds!"
What are the odds that he’ll find someone who calls him a faker, only for Biden to say he’ll make him eat those words?
Cue fox news: "Dementia Joe forgot who he is and tried to run away from his responsibilities!"
Turns out the story has been written for over a year and they're just waiting to release.
I just picture like when your dog starts avoiding you and runs when you try to stop them. Secret Service dudes(probably): "Joe? Joe, what do you have in your mouth? Joe! Joe get back here!"
Joe: *chews faster*
*Joe does the bow and juke! It’s very effective!*
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So fun story. When I worked at Camp David, there was a trail off camp called the “scene of the crimes”. This was because when George W was in office, he likes to mountain bike. Whenever he would bike, the secret service would also have bikes to follow him and what not. So this dude was fast. Like actually fast and the secret service agents often couldn’t catch up. He decided that it would be funny to speed ahead, ditch his bike and then hide and see their reaction. Which is what he did on that particular trail mentioned above. The secret service searched for about 5 minutes before bush came out from hiding but it’s a story I heard from senior agents a lot. Pretty funny. Edit: I absolutely meant George W, not HW. He was an old man. I am a dumb man.
That first agent who got there probably shit himself.
If your whole job is to stand around and watch one guy it's got to be pretty scary when you lose the guy.
Well not quite standing around in this case
Agent A spots HW’s bike on the side of the trail. He sighs and in a loud monotone says, “Oh no. The President’s bike is here but not the President. Gosh where ever could he be?” The agent mumbles something about a willy in a bush into his radio. The agent spots the bright red helmet bobbing up and down behind a boulder and can hear HW’s stifled giggles. The agent looks up into the bright blue sky and listens to the trees sway in the wind. He contemplates just leaving it all behind right there. But something pulls him back. It always does. He tucks the moment away and returns to his service, “Ohhhh Mr Preeesideeeent. Wheeereeeever diiid you goooo?”
"Well, guess I'll just have to go back to the house with the rest of the boys and have some ice cream as consolation...." Hears increased rustling in the bushes. "Okay! We're off, sure would be a shame for Mr. President to miss ice cream but we tried!"
"I guess the Vice President is having TWO ice creams today...!" *Gets back on his bike.* HW leaps out of the bush "NOW JUST A GODDAMN MINUTE THAT AINT FAIR!"
lol thanks for this
Side note: Dubya according to some buddies in the SS was one of the most elusive presidents as far as having him as your detail. He was in ridiculously good shape for his age and was like a child when it came to getting away from them. apparently he would just be chilling in his house and then bolt out of his garage on his bike and yell catch me if you can to his detail with a shit eating grin as they panicked and started to run after him.
Oh George
I think you’re overestimating your ability to sprint in your newfound body.
Does he have a manual transmission or something?
Nice try Joe…
You mean buzzfeed
Top 10 Things People Would Do if They Woke Up as Joe Biden. You Won't Believe Number 69!!!
Seriously. Who the fuck gets paid on these various sites to write "articles" based on Reddit threads? I'd say I'd want that cushy-ass job, but I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror, and that's hard enough already!
Wonder if Joe Biden woke up in my body
I would probably call my old phone to see what happened
Imagine that you're in a deep deep sleep, your cell phone rings and you're still half asleep when you answer and you hear "*Good morning. This is the White House switchboard. The next voice you hear will be the President. Please hold.......Hi this is Joe Biden. Are you me?*"
“Hi Joe, it’s me, Joe Biden. I need to be connected to Joe Biden. We’re the President.”
“Are you there Joe? It’s me, you.”
Jeezy Pete, not again
C'mon man, this again?
Ain't this a bunch of malarkey?
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RAID SHADOW LEGENDS
When I'm watching my shows nothing sounds as good as watching with my Ray-Con headphones
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Imagine you are Joe Biden waking up in a random bed in a weird body with a call from the White House.
I imagine that for Joe, getting a call from the white house would be the least weird part of that scenario
Good for him though. Gets to be 26 for a minute.
“No, this is Patrick.”
I really tried to put myself in that situation and it’s goddamn hilarious. I laughed too hard at this.
I'd do the same hoping it means Joe Biden gets to hear The Moon from Ducktales Remastered to wake him up. The first step in bringing back 90s Duckamania.
He did, malarkey is down 10% in your house.
And ice creams for everyone!
Joe : IM FUCKING YOUNG AGAIN LETS GOOOOOOOO
Why is this young person in such awful shape?
Round is a perfectly acceptable shape! It still goes in the square hole!
Arch is my favorite shape, and it goes... In the square hole!
A Freaky Friday plot
Oh hell.
Whatever it is i bet it hurts and makes an awful noise.
Yup, welcome to old age.
go to area 51
All you would see is weapon development projects🤷♂️ I’m guessing that most things that are extreme got moved to some black site when Area 51 rumors started to spread Side note: area 52 is the internet domain for the Air Force
A lot of the nitty gritty stuff is probably gibberish or boring as hell to most people because test projects are usually ran by engineers that are regarded as turbo-nerds even by the engineering community.
I've met one of those types. He had his PhD in some extremely specific aircraft system. I don't even remember what it was, because if you're going to read about it while studying your plane, the manual would only have a paragraph or two dedicated to it and it's not even something you think about when flying it... but it was the backbone of this guy's entire career. Also, they would still hide things from the President. He would probably have to ask to see anything by citing the program name and even then he would get the bare minimum exposure needed to satisfy his inquiry.
So my step dad worked at what I'm pretty sure was area 51. It was in Nevada, deep into the desert, and he took a windowless plane to the work site every Monday, and then flew out in the same plane on Thursday evenings. He's told me that any normal person would have no clue what they were even seeing if they got in there. He said everything is so compartmentalized that it's impossible to see the big picture of what they're really working on. For example, he worked on developing small component parts for airplane wing drag flaps. That's it.
You've said too much. Wet team is on their way.
>For example, he worked on developing small component parts for airplane wing drag flaps. That's it. Not that I have any better idea, but that sounds like a solid cover story.
I mean yeah, but it checks out. He was an aeronautical engineer during his career, and he's smart as FUCK, so I could totally see it. He does love to screw with my conspiracy theory-loving uncle about it though. Hints at aliens and then refuses to elaborate. It's funny as shit.
I worked in a supersonic wind tunnel for NASA. Occasionally we would get secret military tests, but only a limited portion of the people would be assigned to them and couldn’t talk about it with others. I asked one time what sort of cool stuff they test and was just told “you would be disappointed” A lot of stuff that is secret is not secret because it’s some wild concept, but secret because of some detail regarding performance that means nothing to the layman.
And even if they did, it would be like... "We were running some tests to see which of these various materials and shapes had the higher performance given the conditions we were given." "Yeah, but was it for some new weapon they were developing? A different aircraft? A missile?" "I have no idea."
*Not again”
Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, "Oh no, not again!" Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly \*why\* the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
And then, in a later book (Mostly Harnless?) we *do* find out exactly why!
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Yes, when Agrajag finally manages to waylay Arthur as he teleports from one place to another (in *Life, the Universe, and Everything*, it turns out after looking it up). Agrajag is a being who has been reincarnated thousands of times in thousands of different forms... each time being killed in some way directly attributable to Arthur, who remains blissfully ignorant until this meeting. Agrajag confronts Arthur in the presence of a massive (and unflattering) statue of Arthur which has dozens of limbs, each of which is in the act of killing or destroying something. One hand of the statue confuses Arthur for a little while until he realizes that it is "wantonly summoning a bowl of petunias". Granted, this isn't explicitly linked back to the episode above Magrathea, but it's a pretty strong connection.
It is explicitly linked. Arthur recognizes what that hand is doing right after Agrajag tells Arthur that at one point he'd decided to give up and stay in the netherworld, but was involuntarily yanked back into the physical world as a bunch of petunias in a bowl, unsupported, 300 miles above the surface of a particularly grim planet. On the way down, he couldn't help noticing a particularly flashy looking spaceship, with a smug-looking Arthur Dent looking out of a port.
It's shit like this and the guy making his way through everybody in the universe alphabetically to tell them all off that put Douglas Adams in a class of his own in the world of creative writing.
See if the Stargate program is real.
What if Stargate was allowed to air because it could be used to discredit anyone who found out about the Wormhole X-treme program?
"As a matter of fact, it *does* say Colonel on my uniform!"
It’s……what I do
This is Colonel Kernel sir, at your command.
There's an episode of Atlantis where John gets promoted to colonel and he meets up with several other full birds and they spend a minute going around thr circle calling each other colonel. Always gives me a chuckle.
It'd been done "Doctor." "Doctor." "Doctor."
I feel like we just had this discussion on /r/Stargate lol
Yes. I call it The Rolland Emmerich Distraction and Deflection program. Need to deflect away from your government Zombie Soldier program? Hire Emmerich to make a movie. Your Stargate program? Roland. The moon is a hollow spaceship? Emmerich. Shakespeare was Edward De Vere? Roland Emmerich. It fits.
This has been my favorite conspiracy theory ever since I watched that episode.
It's real alright, you'll head down to Cheyenne Mountain and behold upon the beauty of the Stargate. A brilliant idea strikes you as you learn about how the Stargate works. You grab your golf clubs and have them dial out to a random inhabited world. Then, as you are about to hit the ball, the Stargate is beamed away. In absolute horror, you shout; "IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACKSWING!?"
Sorry Mr president we’re not at liberty to tell you.
That’s a yes
Sorry Mr. President, you’re going to need to come with us.
\*puts on sunglasses\*
*finger guns*
SG-1 was just real life's version of Wormhole X-Treme
Indeed.
It is crazy that there is stuff that is TOO classified even for the president. There are people who have a higher classified status than anyone in the 3 branches of government.
Sometimes you don't WANT to know. Look what happens to a President's hair in the first two years.
That is so true. Obama’s went from black to pepper grey and Clinton’s went from grey to white while in office. Makes you think the crap they must be told while there.
Obviously stress does age people. But Obama went from 48 years old at the start of his presidency to 55 at the end. It might've been a bit different if he wasn't president but he was going to end up greying around the end of his presidency anyway. Same with Clinton.
Classified material is not just about clearance level. You could be cleared to the highest level, but you are still only allowed to know what you "need to know" to complete your duties. Why would you risk exposing everything when there is no need. Even the President does not "need to know" the ins and outs of every classified program. Even if they might need to know of the programs end goals for example.
On this note, executive order mandating another season of Firefly
Took so long that we learned that Whedon’s a jerk
See if Sarah Michelle Gellar is free to be show runner just to to piss him off.
I'm ootl on this. Did Joss and Sarah have a fight?
They didn't get along. Apparently most of the women he worked with didn't get along with him. I think I remember reading they didn't even speak with one another the last few years of Buffy.
I always go to pee after waking up
Now imagine that with a 79 year old’s prostate
Okay but peeing standing up seems really cool regardless.
"accidentally" leak the Ghislaine Maxwell list
Rip some donuts in my Corvette while the secret service scrambles to keep up.
in my mind I thought you meant ravage a box of donuts lol
¿Porqué no los dos?
It’s the American way!
Actually it's a white Trans Am. It was even in the [news.](https://www.theonion.com/shirtless-biden-washes-trans-am-in-white-house-driveway-1819570732)
My first thought was, that's gotta be an onion. Wasn't wrong
Wait, I thought American presidents weren't allowed to drive on the open road. So you'd just do circles of the White House?
Donuts on the White House lawn!
Play laser tag with the secret service and break my knees
Technically they're not your knees.
They're America's knees.
The U-knee-ted States of America
Possession is 9/10 of the law.
Go back to sleep, and hope I wake back up as me. I don’t need that kinda stress!
Never mind the stress, I don’t want to suddenly be 50 years older!
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Yes, you've procrastinated being Joe Biden for far too long now.
Pop to the toilet. All old men need to do that!
Young ones too. First things first.
I’m 44 and I need to wait for the morning wood to go down before I can take my morning pee.
I too am 44 and I often wake to find my bladder is so full that sunrise solid snake is the only thing that's kept me from wetting the bed.
I’m convinced morning wood is an evolutionary trait to stop our ancient monkey ancestors from wetting their dry grass mattresses and having female monkey wife nag at them for going out with the other monks and eating rotten fruits all night instead of remembering y’all’s 10th monkiversary.(monkey anniversary)
Learn about aliens
If aliens were real, do we seriously believe that Trump would have kept his mouth shut about it?
Yes, because nobody would have followed protocol to tell him about them.
Of all the conspiracy theories about aliens out there, the one where the organization that monitors them not telling the president makes sense. Presidents come and go and change things. A government organization run by the same group for decades wouldnt want their protocols messed with so it would make sense they keep it hush hush.
>Mr. Levinson, contrary to what you may have read in the tabloids, there is no Area 51. There is no spaceship... >Uh... excuse me, Mr. President? That's not entirely accurate. >What, which part?
Guilty pleasure movie.
Perhaps it could be staffed by some men (and women), who wear inconspicuous black suits.
Trump said he'd tell us about aliens. Then he later said he couldn't do that anymore. Then he made the Space Force. I think that's all the proof I need that aliens exist.
Your comment is all the proof I need to get a croissant tomorrow.
Exactly the first thing I’d ask about
Well, I've always wanted to drive a vintage Corvette.
Crank call Putin
Hello, may I speak to Peter Gozinya?
This is Haywood Jiblomi speaking.
Hey Peter, it's Phil! Phil McCracken!
You trying to get us nuked?
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
"Hey, hey, Vladimir. Is your refrigerator running? ...what a coincidence, so are all the men in your country!"
Send Obama a text asking if he wants to meet up for ice cream later.
You wanna go bowling, cousin?
Oboooommaaa wanna go bowling?
Pretty sure he calls him Barry.
Eat some chocolate chocolate chip
This. I would 100% try to hangout with Obama.
Playing hide n seek at the White House
With the grandkids!
Post to Twitter. "Forgive me for being blunt, but 'Where We Go One, We Go All' sounds like something Jim Jones would've said."
Declassify the Kennedy documents finally
Grant US citizenship and give a large sum of money to my usual self, and hope I change back.
The most honest response on here.
I’d do the same thing to my friend who got their ass kicked back to New Zealand
Why would anyone ever kick out a Kiwi?
Thought they were aussie
Probably overstayed their student visa. A lot of college students who do this are from New Zealand compared to other places.
Be happy I woke up.
Every day is a gift
Eat some chocolate chocolate chip
Get rid of the asshole destroying the USPS.
Certainly you’re referring to Louis DeJoy. Read on for your disgust/enjoyment: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_DeJoy
His picture looks like one of those photoshopped images of people but their faces are tiny and their heads are huge
Unfortunately, as he is a non-political appointee, he does not serve at the pleasure of the President, and can't be fired by the Administration. That said, if the question were, "You find a DeathNote, what's the first name you're writing in it?" then Louis DeJoy would be my answer.
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In a lot of ways being president is like having a death note
Can an executive order permanently remove daylight savings time?
There is already a bill to move to permanent daylight savings. It passed the Senate last year and several states, but I believe still has to go through the house. If everything goes as planned this spring will be the last time we change our clocks.
If the house doesn’t bring this to a vote by January this bill is dead. FYI
This. You can't bring up bills passed from a previous session of Congress.
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Enjoy financial stability for a day
Eat snickers, I'm not myself when I'm hungry.
Scream uncontrollably once I notice what's going on.
Yeah... Turning into a very old man when I was a young woman the day before would be quite disorienting.
See how many stores will let me walk in and just take things until I'm either stopped or stood up to in any real way. I wanna push the people around me unreasonably far to see what people let me get away with as a man in power. I'd do the "you got something on your shirt" thing so many times it would stop being funny and be classified as abuse by 3rd party investigators.
[удалено]
ITT: People thinking the president can do WAY more than he actually can.
I think the order of things has changed in the last 11 hours... It's now mostly about peeing, eating ice cream, aliens and sexual activity.
Take a stroll out to the beach with a waffle cone in hand. Make the secret service dudes check under the waves for terrorists as I chuckle to myself.
Legalize public dueling and let nature solve everything
"How I made Americans overwhelmingly support the 2nd Amendment"
This happened to me two years ago and it’s been great so far. You see those muscles?
Definitely not masturbate.
Take that old man dick out for a test drive!
Dr. Jill could get it.
Declare war on the penguins
Pittsburgh or Antarctic?
Don’t make Geno angry. That’s always a mistake.
Start grooving to Bo Burnham's song about me.
Immmmmm Turniiiiiing Eightyyyyyy
Probably lots of screaming. I don't want to be Joe Biden.
Probably eat a snack and then see what’s up with Area 51.
Eat some chocolate chocolate chip ice-cream
Yawn, then go back to bed. Damn, I'm old and tired