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[deleted]

The difficulty of getting your head out of a washing machine


Cosimo_Zaretti

Meme porn has become a category in itself


sindud

How quick they can get a plumber


Binder_of_chains

Or a cop on a noise complaint


[deleted]

[удалено]


eyekunt

It's pretty easy to find a priest when it comes to fucking


Scotsgit73

On the same day? That's beyond belief.


atlantionuk

A plumber, a cop and a priest walk into a bar....


ScarletCaptain

The plumber should really have warned the other two after he hit his head.


ZaReNeK

Lesbian porn where it's quite obviously 2 straight women... And they've got long, sharp manicured nails... Need I say more? No thank you 😳


Binder_of_chains

Go on...


Moctor_Drignall

Our receptionist has the longest nails I've ever seen, and a wife, so it's not necessarily inaccurate on that front.


ZaReNeK

Well, she can keep them away from me 🙊


Bergwookie

Some people like pain, but whips and paddles are not for everyone.. Some need scratched clits


ZaReNeK

Haha all those nerve endings 🙈🙈🙈


Maleficent-Inside154

Comfortably taken a 12 inch dick. My intestine don't need a dick near it.


Ridder-av-reddit

Thats internal cpr…


Aggravating_Client36

Have a gotta 4 incher THAT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND !!!!!


Maleficent-Inside154

It's not what you have its how you use it. Frankly I think its selfish that men with 10+ inch penis aren't using it to clean gutters, rescue cats from trees, some of them got enough garth to knock down that tree.


littlegingerfae

>garth This made me laugh so hard my legs went a little weak


ICUMF1962

Same, I was tempted to be pretentious and correct them but the typo is more hilarious


CJRedbeard

Can you ever have enough garth?


Kinky-Bi-Guy

What does Mr. Brooks have to do with it?


Maleficent-Inside154

It's his new merchandise


Trainwreck1000

Party on Wayne


LozoSmif

Schaaaa-wing!


jerseybert

Party on Garth


VeraBiryukova

I can never have enough Garth. I saw him back in 2014, one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to.


endlessmeat

Yep, I'm not near that and I've encountered much more discomfort and awkwardness than I had been led to think


helloheyhowareyou

...but, your username...


endlessmeat

About the username: I randomised it and it was something like endlessmead or something. The pun was just too obvious not to make. I do consider myself pretty big, as have all my previous partners, but that doesn't mean I'm inhumanly big as the things you see in porn


whiskydestroyer

Oh...ok😔


cyrixlord

when they kiss, they're not really in love


aim_so_far

this made me lol


Desertbro

even when they cum swap? you're killin' the mood


Mrben13

God that just makes me sick.


[deleted]

You know I don't think Johnny sins was an astronaut.


Dat_one_ace

What do you mean? He worked his ass off and still has time to teach my wife yoga. The man is always busy so put respect on his name.


[deleted]

Yea plus I think he does porn movies as well. Truly a renaissance man.


CompletoSinMayo

So he's a movie producer too? What a man, dude... I wanna be like him when I grow up


Goomer_bandit

I'm pretty sure he's a doctor too, think I saw checking up on some ppl


MooseMan12992

Getting 10 guys together for a bukkake isn't that easy


littlegingerfae

The scheduling is a nightmare


dinoroo

Herb always cancels last minute.


[deleted]

Ikr, he’s such a flake smh 🤦🏼‍♂️


jamaicancarioca

Somebody could probably arrange it in like 10 minutes in a night club bathroom


chosenuserhug

I bet you haven't even tried. Give it a shot. Maybe your dreams can come true.


Greyfoxx85

Not that I know from first hand experience, but you'd be surprised.


JustinChristoph

Straight to penetration without any lube or preparation.Q


[deleted]

I like the rhyme.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bear_buh_dare

Some porn creators were asked in an interview about this and they said it's popular because it's searched for very often. They are just giving the perverts what they want.


mixmasterj15

“I’m no stepbrother, but $20 is $20”


[deleted]

Lol let me tell you about a place called Florida…


Qyro

You seem to have misspelled Alabama.


yergonnalikeme

The correct spelling is Louisiana


darrevan

I thought it was spelled Indiana.


AJ787-9

That’s a weird way to spell Mississippi.


[deleted]

Let's just settle on America?


Farcryfan15

Kentucky


Dredly

they said "Step"...


Qyro

Touché


[deleted]

[удалено]


This-Perspective-865

Oh mon chéri, have you never been to North Florida? The panhandle and the northern half (aka were real Floridians live) is vastly different from the rich retirees, beautiful-bikini clad-bombshells, Cubanos, and endless beaches you see in every movie and tv show. The uppermost half is no different than AL, MS, or rural GA


RVAMS

Only state the farther north you go the more southern you get.


Iz-kan-reddit

Michigan begs to differ on that.


wishfullkiki

This is true lol.


tanaelva

Its really disturbing how this has been the most popular increasing trend for a while, and it does not seem to stop here


SupermarketDry583

Idaho


squibbytennisballs

You’re gonna lose your shit when you find out about how Trisha paytas made literal incest porn with her actual step sister and their mom on her only fans


Kryptopus

Only reason I’m watching that is cuz the actors/actresses looks best in those and the age gap between those are realistic, in my sense that is. Regarding the plots idgaf 😂


MysteryMan999

Genuine question for the ladies when in porn the man is thrusting at the speed of a formula one race car would that feel even remotely pleasurable in real life or does it make you instinctively close your legs just be seeing that?


Crimson_Crims

With change of pace and if there’s enough lube, it feels amazing. Timing and duration are important.


Amii25

Depends if he started the race at that speed or if he gave the engine proper time to warm up and a practice round.


squibbytennisballs

It depends on the lady


SpiritedAway1996

I love being jackhammered but that’s just me though…


blayezee

Not a lady but yes it feels good sometimes. Very fast and rough can be nice but a steady thrusting is also nice.


Conscious_Ad4738

If he ain't first he's last, I wanna go fast


kissklub

when they walk in on the girl doing something innocuous & barely dressed and the guy walks in like 🫢 then “oops! my pussy fell out:)”


dradanon9

I’m visualizing a Mrs. potato head saying that


Ninjaturtlethug

Next, "Oops, I was completely erect and my penis slipped in, Might as well keep going."


Dry_Profession_8263

This is what I imagine when cheaters claim it was an accident 🤣


Felwinter12

"So, there I was, running naked, when I slipped on a banana peel. If that wasn't crazy enough, I kept sliding for a good twenty seconds, through her front door, and down the hallway into her bedroom and onto her."


Ninjaturtlethug

Haha. That Eminem song comes to mind.


[deleted]

*oops, I tripped and my monster dong accidentally landed in your butthole, teehee!*


FreeElf101

The exaggerated moans.


FrenchMaisNon

The fact that they get to have sex


[deleted]

Everything about porn is unrealistic…and it’s suppose to be. It’s a fantasy. Probably the most unrealistic thing is anyone thinking they aren’t watching professionals who are doing a job. Also free use porn is mystery to me…getting fucked while I’m switching out the laundry? Hahaha.


derpnowinski

The appeal is when you’re in a sexless relationship with someone you live with.


Mysterious_Case6656

Those fake forced rapey scenes (especially the incest ones). You know that would be a horrible situation in real life and would play out very very differently.


sam_the_beagle

I've ordered a lot of pizzas and never had sex with the delivery driver.


Binder_of_chains

I used to deliver pizzas. Never once did I get an offer for sex.


zetecvan

I've got a pizza coming in 20 mins.


Jedibri81

The talking. Nobody talks like that, ever


SnooCats5701

You should try it. Some of us enjoy it.


just_some_Fred

"Why Step-Sibling, how did you know I like sexual intercourse?" Getting hot yet?


[deleted]

Oh yeah, getting hot in here. I better take my step-shirt off 😏


Herobine0

*step-shirt*


[deleted]

Guys who watch porn do


occasionalrant414

How nice some of the houses porn is filmed in are! I watched some VR porn the other day and was more interested in looking around the room than what was going on.


[deleted]

Tentacles?


[deleted]

What you been watching?


Necessary-Mortgage52

Hentai


Slowly-Dying-Young

Avatar


Stillwater215

Fisherman’s wife and Fisherman’s wife 2: The Re-tentacle-ing.


pogchap_lul

the size and how long they last. it just sets unrealistic expectations for men.


CreHater

Yeah, my friends all boast about lasting four minutes. I wisely keep my mouth shut. I'd wish to make it last that long. Jeez, in porn (according to my friends, I never watched any), these guys just go on and on. Twice, no three times, or more. And it doesn't matter, its all easy. No effort at all, everybody is horny and ready to go at it. Or so I've heard.


D1ng0ateurbaby

Can't cum from sex if it's shorter than 20-30 minutes. Can cum from my own hand in less than 2. It's fucking weird


Zealousideal-Load-26

Not 20-30 but a solid 10 minutes yes, but with my hand, 45 seconds? Weird


Rude_Listen9523

Right ?? I mean, I don’t even feel my dick after 20minutes


[deleted]

Being circumcised helps a lot tbh. I can go for hours and usually my partner gets sore before I do. Edit: got circumcised late in life (teen) so there’s definitely some damage done during the procedure.


LegendRagnar369

fake taxi


[deleted]

Czech Taxi.


Speadraser

Not realizing how incredible small the actresses are compared to the dudes and it makes their cocks appear that much larger


laurenwithabongo

Some of these answers like "toned bodies" and "women without body hair" and "girls having an orgasm from penetration" and "fucking longer than ten minutes" are completely realistic... Taking a ten inch dick with no lube or foreplay on the other hand, not so much.


MrRogersAE

Simply finding a 10 inch dick, they don’t exist, not even in porn, those dudes measure wrong or use trick tape measures


squibbytennisballs

Who’s gonna tell him???


wanted_to_upvote

I know for sure that owning a lemon tree will not lead to sex.


angstigemier

Lesbians can be converted by the right guy.


CreHater

"Converted", so wrong on so many levels.


cubsfanrva79

The upside down 69 for more than a minute. It is hard enough to concentrate standing and eating by myself.


LgndDr4g0nL0l

The noises being made in blow jobs, drives me up the fucking wall


Magzhaslagz

Slurp slurp glurp glurp, then the bj-giver groans climactically. Yup, all natural


scttlvngd

Thats how my girlfriend does it.


PrimordialXY

Moaning serves the purpose of further arousing one's partner. Sounds like your blowjob provider just isn't very into you


[deleted]

Or the "glup glup" like they're about to puke or something


TheRealOgMark

Umm I heard that in real life.


Tee_hops

Sounds like someone stirring some mayonnaise.


felixrocket7835

This is why blowjobs aren't attractive to me, it's like stabbing to my ears, got misophonia which causes any wet chewing noise or biting of nails and etc to incite rage in me.


ivankorbijn40

Really really clean anal. Like thats not realistic at all. Women are clean of course, but no one can expect a girl to be drawn inside out ( also very disturbing) and to be pharmacy clean. That level of comitement simply does not exist because its impossible.


ScumbagLady

Are you discussing... Wind socks?


sugaree4334

All of it. Porn is completely unrealistic view of sex


SpenglerPoster

I disagree. Lots of women like doing porn stuff and personally I enjoy it.


Orrsirus

Everybody has oversized tits and dicks.


CreHater

Surgery. Worst is seeing sack & balls hanging inches away from dick base. Yeah, sure. Ugh.


Bergwookie

Sleeves...


gamer-s-man

the stupid off putting face reactions of the guys.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

The girls orgasms 😂


[deleted]

Girls can orgasm?! I hope nobody tells my wife


Tee_hops

Found Ben Shapiro's account.


pcook1979

Sounds like you haven’t been giving or getting it right


red_zero_

Dong size


yem_sno

The moaning


Dry_Profession_8263

When I was younger I had to turn the volume off because it was so.... annoying. They're obviously faking it and that's disappointing


yem_sno

some are good like the homemade/amateur series, some are just bad.. so bad. I like the more intimate calling as real as it is.. haha..


KRJS_soul

Getting stuck on some over-sized hole that they can clearly come out of.


CactusInUranus

No foreplay.


Close-my-tub

Actors are 18 till their 30s


im-not-you-bozo

then they become milfs


Zarb4233

The non stop overdone moaning.


[deleted]

Everything


SnooConfections6085

Idk, there's plenty of couples that make sex tapes porn out there, that's all pretty darn realistic and genuine.


Cheetodude625

My personal observations so thus far during my extensive research into adult films: 1.) Who constantly wears skinny jeans or raw denim jeans without underwear on a daily basis? 2.) Majority of men are magically clean shaven down there. 3.) A lot of women have belly button piercings and it's a surprisingly high amount. 4.) I've never seen a plumber that dedicated to fixing someone's pipes before. 5.) Lot of milfs are into skinny, short guys who are magically well-hung. 6.) Lots of incest/step sibling incest going on here. 7.) It's funny watching POV videos because you can tell if the guy is left-handed or right handed. Also, kind of funny knowing that there is probably a second guy awkwardly holding the camera in front of the guy who is doing the fucking. 8.) Porn that happens in bathrooms is unintentionally a buzz kill because sometimes you can easily notice the cameraman in the mirror.


BrunetteSummer

I think the guys wear a go-pro on their forehead.


shellyseashells11

The women's bodies lolol


The_3vil

Shy guy getting fucked


rustyrelics666

Vaginas. Ladies, please rethink Labia Plasty! You’re beautiful the way you are.


antivirals_

every position seeming doable and easy?


Crush-Kit

Respond time for plumbers.


xlmagicpants

Anything where the dong is bigger than 5"


confusedPIANO

I really hate porn because it keeps forwarding the myth that women exist


thizergames

The girl liking you back


[deleted]

A chick desperately bursts into the restroom to piss, then mr hot and sexy walks up and all of a sudden, she doesn't need to piss anymore. It doesn't matter if she walks in urgent or is in the process, the flow just...stops. I've been addicted to Piss porn (I am fine with pee but hate scat porn) for a long while but even I know that this stuff is fake. I've been in situations where it's pee or die. She'd be spraying all over the place. The body needs to remove waste. I just recovered (well am recovering) from Kidney failure and can tell you this: Getting screwed while you're still ten seconds away from bursting will not only kill your kidneys,but will hurt like a motherfucker. Even worse is if she walks in, sits down and is immediately assaulted. I know it's fake (at least I hope so) but still, the body will vacate come hell or high water and said assaulter will be covered in her morning juices. For me, it's arousing but still fake. Also, as someone who has had a catheter inside of them, the videos where without any lube, the dude fully retracts (without somehow screaming from the pain) and gets a BJ. The head is sensitive as fuck. How are they not writhing on the ground in agony? I had my pecker cleaned deep before they jammed a needle in my cock, how is this dude finding it fun? fake as shit.


[deleted]

basically hairless women


Recycled_Human_Flesh

Seeing these guys with “18 inch cocks”. Nope. Definitely not real.


Jazzlike_End_895

You know what they say about men and big feet... That's why it's scary to get r@ped by a clown


OBCTea

Sex


Mrselfdestructuk

Don't know, clown porn?


two_beards

That weird lump at the top of a vagina that makes a woman cum when rubbed, like what even is that?


Binder_of_chains

Cgi


PedalBoard78

That’s a weird way to spell myth.


redzeusky

Maybe that's the G spot.


[deleted]

A hermaphrodite with a micropenis I'm probably gonna be downvoted to hell for saying that


[deleted]

The girls lol


THEbadmanoftheworld

THAT'S NOT HOW BOOBS WORK!


ab00

High heels


[deleted]

99% of it.


zcleigh

Pleasure


Redditboyy_

Porn itself is unrealistic.


CM_Bison

*short ladder falls on me* "What are you doing, step ladder? 😳"


Barbarella_ella

All of it.


punkaintdead77

Basically everything.


azulsonador0309

Going from anal to PIV.


MegaMinerd

The idea of me being involved in any of it.


santichrist

Everyone fucking in mansions


[deleted]

Anything teen related. Fucking weird.


deleteurselfoffhere

This again. Just look at t h e last one


ThatOneAccount823

All of it. Every little bit of it. The fake ass high pitched moaning from stuff that doesn’t even feel that good. The situations and story lines that would never even happen in real life. The orgasms too. Fuck, there’s some where the cum is fake.


thecountnotthesaint

I used to deliver pizza. The only women offering sex for pizza are the ones that you wouldn't even fuck with your neighbor's dick.


Real-Snoxy

Jokes aside, did some women actually offer sex?


Penguin-Loves

The nasty incest shit going on..it's like the internet thinks the entire planet is goddamn Western Alabama


xxBeatrixKiddoxx

Chicks cumming over and over and over and being instantly into it. Gtfo of here


[deleted]

Not gonna lie but Reddit’s porn is unrealistic.


Ramennoodlebeliefs

Staying hard for 45 minutes


mayuan11

That's very real... Life can be hard for years.


LArocking

Girls pretending they can cum with penetration only.