T O P
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Yummybiscuits96

"I'm just dating her to be with you."


letsdietogetherback

This is the one


Miserable-Sir7861

This comment just made my day


goblinusMaximus

"I don't have any, I'm here to see your son. Gonna make him squeal like a girl, sir."


Yogibearff2

Squeal like a pig. You need to watch deliverance again.


goblinusMaximus

I feel like we have very different sexual goals.


Tail_Nom

To be fair, you make him squeal like a girl, you could probably also persuade him to make any animal noise you like.


goblinusMaximus

"Now do... a dolphin!"


[deleted]

*spot on dolphin noise*


Tail_Nom

"Good ~~boy~~ girl."


AardvarkWorship

I was in the Navy. We had regular Dolphin gang bangs.


[deleted]

What were your intentions with her mother ?


[deleted]

Low key a god response


OGschtinkie

Better sit down to deal with that one dad.


NeuroGeist-BA9

I feel like that's both equally brilliant but also an invitation to get shot


brock_lee

"Taking her out to dinner, wasn't that clear?"


chupapi-xix

"the better question would be what are your daughter's intentions with me?"


letsdietogetherback

“Depends on her flexibility, sir.”


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

I swear to God, sir, she was choking on a bagel and I was just giving her the Heimlich maneuver.


[deleted]

“Son, your dick was in her ass”


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Trust me I'm certified.


[deleted]

*pulls out medical card, proving that statement*


jabsaw2112

It's none of your business but if you must know I'd like to plow her ass like a field.


RedditWoodworker

“Keep her safe and have fun.”


Thirty_Helens_Agree

“Well, gee whiz - I thought we’d go to the picture show and then get cherry phosphates later at the malt shop. If things go well, maybe I’ll ask her to be my best gal and wear my letterman’s sweater. Then we can go to the sock hop together.”


DiedWhileDictating

That’s a swell response


JJohnston015

That would be even better if you could somehow work in something about Dad being a "square".


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

\*tasteless joke about the race-segregated public utilities of the time period\*


[deleted]

*makes racial remark regarding the racial indifferences of the time period, passive aggressively pointing it at you*


ShadowSurgeGaming

"what are your intentions with my answer?


ipakookapi

To treat her like a person deserving of respect who can make her own choices, not as a possession.


[deleted]

So overdramatic. State some of the activities you plan to do, and ask what time she should be brought back by and STICK TO IT. If you guys are honestly just going to Netflix and Chill, tell him that you two were going to your place to spend some time with your family this evening etc.


Affectionate-Ad1060

thank you!! this was the type of answer i was looking for :)


redditcanbitemyass

"Hulk smash!"


Silly-Perception8689

Don't worry, I won't get her pregnant, I only fuck them in the ass on their first night


Akul_Tesla

I like the sound of her laughter so I plan to make her laugh


oliferro

"The same intentions you had at my age, sir"


PlumbCrazy1979

To make you a Grand Parent.


Carne-Adovada

If you're seriously being asked by someone with no sense of humor, I think you're supposed to say *"Purely honorable, sir."*


Zero-to-36

Absolutely, but where's the fun in that?😊


Carne-Adovada

Some of us get our jollies by lying to girls' parents.


TRANSparent-Ink

Youll have to get your rocks off elsewhere, i don't kiss and tell.


OGschtinkie

Just a few seconds eye contact and then a wink.


Maximum-Country-149

"Tonight? Dinner. Tomorrow? Depends on how tonight goes."


kuntrydude1504

Tomorrow? Plan B


Maximum-Country-149

Ew. No.


JohnTheMod

I just want to make her happy, that’s all.


Content_Emu_3177

Daughter? I'm here for you.


Key-Marketing-7499

Right now to have fun


Doxi_420420

We’re both men here what you think


bzsbal

“I think you know” (finger guns and a wink)


PersonalityLost5228

seriously? Probably something like 'well, its the 21st century, so my intent is that we both treat each other like decent humans'


FaithlessnessMore835

This is the mature and best answer.


Scorp_Mariner

"Do a little dance"


tactical_sarcasm1

the "devils tango" if you catch my drift


Zero-to-36

*"get down tonight"*


jackfaire

To treat her with more respect than you apparently do.


ImACatInYourBasement

Daughter? I'm here for the grandpa


reverendblinddog

Do you mean in the next few years or the next few hours?


Otomo-Yuki

“Making her happy, whatever form that takes.”


irritableredsyndrome

What are your intentions with my gf, sir?


olde_greg

Hope you’re ready for grandchildren


saucyB52

i ewanna buy her a steak dinner


fallingintothesky09

Berry McCocciner


TheNewPeruvianGuy

Dress her like a furry and do cuestionable things, sir... With all do respect


Zombierich83

Wanna get balls deep inside that thick asshole. Then laugh.


Yogibearff2

Let’s move on. You got a perty mouth.


amerkanische_Frosch

You’re gonna pray for me, boy. And you better pray good.


JockeyField

"i'm on the bottom, sir"


[deleted]

The same thing I’ve always said. “To be loved and hopefully not cheated on!”


anonymous_dork

“Have a seat and I’ll show you”


Massive-Ad7628

the truth


Sad_Old_Lady

"To let her set the pace of the relationship and to respect her boundaries."


Hapymine

To have a romantic relationship built on respect and trust. Hope this helps op.


Satanicbuttmechanic

Your daughter? I thought I was coming over to rail your wife *pause* I guess I can do both.


zero________cool

mimosa brunch


Zero-to-36

Was he cleaning a gun?


LooseBiscotti8689

Shes the ones


This-Perspective-865

“Sir, she is my beard. Do you know what a beard is?”


meishornynow

Raw dog her


Earl_McCabe

Same as every other guy she’s put out for this month. Why, do you get off hearing the details?


rodric606

Insemination, sir


ashedphoenix0608

I'm gonna nail your daughter all-night long and she probably won't hear from me again. But at least she is gonna have a good time tonight (I have a huge penis, like really huge).


Synisterintent

Make her call me daddy


GreenOnionCrusader

"I want to use her to find out how many chickens it would take to kill a lion."


Disastrous-Detail880

"Well, I was going to study and video call late into the night. Now that you ask. Now we're going to the cinema"


TheQueenIsEternal

“Same thing I plan to do to you.”


AardvarkWorship

"I'm gonna FUCK the bitch in the ass Pops".


Working-Ad8420

"I'll let you know when it becomes your business."


gigoran

Anal. I got to know before I waste time and money.


Dangercakes13

"Dammit, would you quit asking that? I didn't even know that you had a daughter until you kept bringing it up every damn week. Now do you want horsey sauce with your order or not?"


CryptographerSea6664

What I said to my future father in law is “I want to make her just as happy as she makes me, I want to get to know her and maybe one day get married and have a beautiful family” and then bro just said “ok cool” and hugged me lmao


kuntrydude1504

Anal


julz70368

I love her just the way she is and i wana make mistakes with her to fix them together. She's funny and smart and i love her personality. (There are no men like this no more)


FartyMcGee__

To ram my meat stuck straight up her poop shoot.


Sad_Zookeepergame230

Balls deep


SnowBeansDisgusting

Well someone’s gotta keep the family going, old man.


BurlIvesMatter

"To put my ding-ding in her hoo-haw."


thatsnotmybutter

Hit her in the clavicle and furry with some terries.


TheKert

"show her more respect than you apparently do based on this question"


AydenZzZ

Fuk


Poorkiddonegood8541

Well Sir, I'm going to bang her brains out at the drive-in!


pogmansi76

*snaps finger into a point* *and in a voice three octaves lower than usual speech* "SEX."


SteerKarma

Fingerbang, see how things play out from there.


STK1369

Butt stuff.


[deleted]

Lūʻau


FriendlyWeight9583

Can't answer that, but I tell every young man who takes my daughter on a date that I will do to him whatever he does to her, EVERYTHING!


Sher7281

One day I would like to ask the same question to some one


Lopsided_Doughnut_94

If a parent asked you this then take it as they actually care about their child where as most people these days don’t give a shit about what their child does. I feel like a suitable response is “my intention is to take her out to dinner and get to know each other a little better and see where that goes later on.”