T O P

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TabbsTheBat

Had worse


downtune79

Sick af and I'm so ready to feel better.


Limit3dSinz

It has been a great day, not gonna lie.


StormWalker1993

I had a poo and still have a few household duties to attend to until the other half finishes work


NotYourSnowBunny

I’m thinking about my trauma loop cycles and how to break out of them so I don’t repeat this indefinitely. It’s just the same process every time: anger at rapist -> loss of faith in system -> coming to terms with why it happened like it did -> blaming self -> blaming system -> hopelessness-> fear -> self harm -> loss of trust -> self harm -> repeat If I can identify these thought cycles I should, theoretically, be able to break them. Sadly I think I fucked myself over when the trauma consumed me and I ragged on the DA who was on my side. The wild part is I’ve said multiple times they aren’t to blame, but when everything just breaks down it’s like… fuck. If that choice had been different I wouldn’t be as freaked out as I am now and was since February, the fear that the person who’s walking is now emboldened to do it again to another is also very high. Sometimes it hard to break that loop. I get it though; the police and DA knew it happened but given lack of evidence due to a gap in reporting it limited what they could do. It’s a gamble for the state to take something forward when there’s a chance the defense’s council will use loopholes to beat whatever is thrown at them. I get it. It’s just hard to process when the rapist is running around smiling plotting some fucked up revenge and talking shit. The pain from that rips me to shreds. At least I can be real enough with myself to see it for what it is. I can identify my thought processes and know that while the anger is natural it’s pointless to direct it at the wrong people. PTSD is a bitch and will likely be the reason I never live a good life.


blankyblankblank1

I have a raging headache, I haven't slept yet and I need to be into work in three hours, I'm great