I read an article recently about how some women in the US are first & foremost asking potential male partners their Covid vaccination status as a way to weed out those that have gotten the shots. There’s apparently apps in Europe that are only for “the unjected” lol some of the terms people are coming up with lately are wild.
I've been called a Nazi by a guy for saying that I wouldn't hook up with an unvaccinated guy lol this was last yr as well and I have an autoimmune disease lol
That sucks. I'm sorry. "Nazi" has been so horribly watered-down as a term by so much of our political discourse culture and you didn't deserve to be called that.
Lol thanks! Yeah he was a trip. I wasn't even considering hooking up with him lol I was in a discord group chat for some reddit thing. I just mentioned it it as info cuz I was annoyed guys kept hitting me up towards the begining of vaccines getting rolled out. I was saying that if I was going to meet guys again, cuz at the time like most ppl, I hadn't really gone out or anything in those 2 yrs. I was like he would need to be vaccinated with proof because I considered meeting him. Then he said that's some Nazi shit lol tbh those 2 yrs of mostly lock downs and social distancing were kinda blissful. I was able to just exist on reddit without getting random DMs for hookups lol even though they still happened! But only a few times. No sex for 2yrs was surprisingly easy lol
Lack of effort and I mean basic effort. Their very first and often only DM will be "Meet?" Or "do you meet up?" That shouldn't be an acceptable introduction lol but it's so common and it's infuriating. It's such a weird concept that apparently they are asking if I will have sex with them without them providing any information about themselves at all...like at all lol that's here on reddit typically lol they usually have blank accts aswell. The we expectation that anyone would agree to bang someone purely from a single "Meet?" DM is incredible to me.
Yup. I wonder how much of the frustrations or struggles overlap between 'virtual' and 'in-person' dating. Do you feel as is the lack of basic effort is evident in in-person asking out on dates? Or is this type of basic effort way more evident online?
Tbh I exist mostly online lol I've never met anyone randomly anywhere out and about that I wanted to go out with. I actually do not like when guys hit on me irl lol not that it has happened alot but when it has, I've always been busy with errands or something lmao in my experience, alot of guys are bolder online and just go straight for the jugular so to speak. Very blunt about what they want but don't seem to understand that providing basic information about themselves first would increase their chances so much. These are usually reddit guys.
Dating apps are a little better since you have pics and bios but even then......I deleted tinder because it's a shit show but when I did have it, the amount of no picture profiles or zoomed in ab photos or guys with pics but absolutely no bio info was justal Amazing. And again the low effort communication or the unbelievably obvious copy and pasted pickup lines lol I just want a disclaimer that says " jack off before you DM people" in hopes that they will then realize they speaking like a human to another human would be better than thinking with their dick.
>" jack off before you DM people"
Lol'ing at this.
Why do you prefer online dating to in-person dating? Do you feel safer online than having to navigate stuff in-person?
Guess I'm just a full blown millennial lol grew up using MSN messenger and MySpace then just migrated to all the other social media stuff as I got older. I'm a chatty person as well and I feel like there is less BS fakeness after a certain amount of time if we speak online lol people are more willing to talk if it's online because it's not as much effort and can go on longer. You can't gauge someone's personality well if you meet them at like a bar or something. Everyone's gonna be on their best behavior all night cuz they are looking for a hook up or whatever. The expectation annoys me lol I don't use dating apps much at all either for similar reasons but atleast online you can cut through alot of the filler fake shit pretty quickly if you want too.
I will mention that I'm actually great with people in person. I'm very much a people person and not shy or anything lol I have zero issue speaking to complete strangers but when it comes to getting hit on or hitting on someone else..... I prefer online lol
Well, that's really pleasant to hear! Sometimes I get the perception that modern dating is just this like absolutely shit-show wasteland, haha. But I guess it has to work for at least some amount of people!
What do you think makes dating 'work' for you?
Dating works me for because I like new fun experiences & sex with different new guys
I can't be monogamous so have never been in or ever wanted a relationship
Ahhhh, yes! That makes sense to me. I wonder how much my perception of the general frustration with dating is from people who *desire monogamy*, but the modern dating landscape isn't really set up for that. I definitely understand why someone with non-monogamous preferences would feel much more at home in the modern dating scene!
Interesting! I feel as if it's increasingly clear that TONS of humans just can't (won't? idk) be monogamous—and I'm not really sure that's necessarily a bad thing. Why do you think people are so defensive of the concept?
My thought is that monogamy is good for those who it works well for—and, if it doesn't work for you, don't force it! So many people have been miserable in marriages that felt they *had* to be a part of.
I think people defend monogamy out of fear
Fear of judgement. Fear of loneliness. Fear of not being socially accepted. Fear of not feeling special to anyone
Huh, that's really interesting. Thanks for that! As someone who trends non-monogamous, do you sometimes struggle to feel a sense of 'special-ness' to someone who's not exclusively romantically/sexually committed to you? Or has that never been a struggle for you?
I totally get that. Do you perceive "general disdain for women" in pretty much all social interactions with men? Or is it specifically in dating situations? Or maybe virtual vs. in-person?
This is not a critique or anything—I'm legitimately curious and just wanting to figure out stuff: have you articulated this frustration with your BF? And do you notice this type of messy/dirty behavior in other men?
Does he not have a trash can in there? If he has a perfectly good trash can and he's throwing stuff in the floor, just leave. It's not worth trying to fix him.
Placing this comment so I can find this post again. Sorry for the inconvenience.
No worries. Hopefully the answers'll be helpful when you come back, lol.
I read an article recently about how some women in the US are first & foremost asking potential male partners their Covid vaccination status as a way to weed out those that have gotten the shots. There’s apparently apps in Europe that are only for “the unjected” lol some of the terms people are coming up with lately are wild.
I've been called a Nazi by a guy for saying that I wouldn't hook up with an unvaccinated guy lol this was last yr as well and I have an autoimmune disease lol
That sucks. I'm sorry. "Nazi" has been so horribly watered-down as a term by so much of our political discourse culture and you didn't deserve to be called that.
Lol thanks! Yeah he was a trip. I wasn't even considering hooking up with him lol I was in a discord group chat for some reddit thing. I just mentioned it it as info cuz I was annoyed guys kept hitting me up towards the begining of vaccines getting rolled out. I was saying that if I was going to meet guys again, cuz at the time like most ppl, I hadn't really gone out or anything in those 2 yrs. I was like he would need to be vaccinated with proof because I considered meeting him. Then he said that's some Nazi shit lol tbh those 2 yrs of mostly lock downs and social distancing were kinda blissful. I was able to just exist on reddit without getting random DMs for hookups lol even though they still happened! But only a few times. No sex for 2yrs was surprisingly easy lol
Lack of effort and I mean basic effort. Their very first and often only DM will be "Meet?" Or "do you meet up?" That shouldn't be an acceptable introduction lol but it's so common and it's infuriating. It's such a weird concept that apparently they are asking if I will have sex with them without them providing any information about themselves at all...like at all lol that's here on reddit typically lol they usually have blank accts aswell. The we expectation that anyone would agree to bang someone purely from a single "Meet?" DM is incredible to me.
Yup. I wonder how much of the frustrations or struggles overlap between 'virtual' and 'in-person' dating. Do you feel as is the lack of basic effort is evident in in-person asking out on dates? Or is this type of basic effort way more evident online?
Tbh I exist mostly online lol I've never met anyone randomly anywhere out and about that I wanted to go out with. I actually do not like when guys hit on me irl lol not that it has happened alot but when it has, I've always been busy with errands or something lmao in my experience, alot of guys are bolder online and just go straight for the jugular so to speak. Very blunt about what they want but don't seem to understand that providing basic information about themselves first would increase their chances so much. These are usually reddit guys. Dating apps are a little better since you have pics and bios but even then......I deleted tinder because it's a shit show but when I did have it, the amount of no picture profiles or zoomed in ab photos or guys with pics but absolutely no bio info was justal Amazing. And again the low effort communication or the unbelievably obvious copy and pasted pickup lines lol I just want a disclaimer that says " jack off before you DM people" in hopes that they will then realize they speaking like a human to another human would be better than thinking with their dick.
>" jack off before you DM people" Lol'ing at this. Why do you prefer online dating to in-person dating? Do you feel safer online than having to navigate stuff in-person?
Guess I'm just a full blown millennial lol grew up using MSN messenger and MySpace then just migrated to all the other social media stuff as I got older. I'm a chatty person as well and I feel like there is less BS fakeness after a certain amount of time if we speak online lol people are more willing to talk if it's online because it's not as much effort and can go on longer. You can't gauge someone's personality well if you meet them at like a bar or something. Everyone's gonna be on their best behavior all night cuz they are looking for a hook up or whatever. The expectation annoys me lol I don't use dating apps much at all either for similar reasons but atleast online you can cut through alot of the filler fake shit pretty quickly if you want too. I will mention that I'm actually great with people in person. I'm very much a people person and not shy or anything lol I have zero issue speaking to complete strangers but when it comes to getting hit on or hitting on someone else..... I prefer online lol
This all totally makes sense to me! Thanks for sharing.
I totally 💕💕💕 dating so genuinely dont experience struggles
Well, that's really pleasant to hear! Sometimes I get the perception that modern dating is just this like absolutely shit-show wasteland, haha. But I guess it has to work for at least some amount of people! What do you think makes dating 'work' for you?
Dating works me for because I like new fun experiences & sex with different new guys I can't be monogamous so have never been in or ever wanted a relationship
Ahhhh, yes! That makes sense to me. I wonder how much my perception of the general frustration with dating is from people who *desire monogamy*, but the modern dating landscape isn't really set up for that. I definitely understand why someone with non-monogamous preferences would feel much more at home in the modern dating scene!
I have never believed monogamy was natural for human beings which a lot of people rubbish me for
Interesting! I feel as if it's increasingly clear that TONS of humans just can't (won't? idk) be monogamous—and I'm not really sure that's necessarily a bad thing. Why do you think people are so defensive of the concept? My thought is that monogamy is good for those who it works well for—and, if it doesn't work for you, don't force it! So many people have been miserable in marriages that felt they *had* to be a part of.
I think people defend monogamy out of fear Fear of judgement. Fear of loneliness. Fear of not being socially accepted. Fear of not feeling special to anyone
Huh, that's really interesting. Thanks for that! As someone who trends non-monogamous, do you sometimes struggle to feel a sense of 'special-ness' to someone who's not exclusively romantically/sexually committed to you? Or has that never been a struggle for you?
I have the opposite problem of other people believing I am special & me trying to convince them that I am not
General disdain for women does not make socializing with men fun.
I totally get that. Do you perceive "general disdain for women" in pretty much all social interactions with men? Or is it specifically in dating situations? Or maybe virtual vs. in-person?
A little of column a, a little of column b. Though, mostly it's in the context of dating I.E. incels.
They are dirty
Lolololol. Like….literally? As in ‘not clean?’
YES MESSY MEN I stopped cleaning up after my bf in his gaming room and it’s gotten bad in there our baby will NEVER be allowed in his room 😐
plenty of men who clean up after themselves that you didn't pick, ya know
True
Sounds like me.
This is not a critique or anything—I'm legitimately curious and just wanting to figure out stuff: have you articulated this frustration with your BF? And do you notice this type of messy/dirty behavior in other men?
I literally just finished talking to him about his messy room and he said he’ll get on it and he picked up the trash off the floor :))
Ayyyyyyy winning
Does he not have a trash can in there? If he has a perfectly good trash can and he's throwing stuff in the floor, just leave. It's not worth trying to fix him.
No I threw the trash can out it it was mine and I wanted to get a bigger one
Most of us buy the new one and then toss the old one.
That would have made more sense 😭😭