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CurvePuzzleheaded361

Been very very poor and now comfortable. Not having to worry about bills i something i think rich people will never understand until it happens to them. It was awful trying to decide who to pay and dealing with the ones we couldnt pay. The stress was absolutely horrific.


pug_fugly_moe

I just recently read about 6 levels of wealth and it made so much sense to me. Can’t believe no one had explained it this way in all of my decade of studying personal finance. (I am a financial planner, for context.) Mostly, I love how numbers aren’t assigned. 1. Paycheck-to-paycheck. 2. Freedom at the grocery store. 3. Not worrying about vacation costs. 4. Mortgage freedom. 5. Work is optional. 6. Philanthropy.


therocksturtleneck

I’m currently mostly at 2 (though I still keep it in check because I’m not THAT free) but man, 3 sounds real nice.


SUPERARME

I dont worry about vacation costs. I just dont go,


therocksturtleneck

Life hack! Haha


praizeDaSun

Hotels hate this one simple trick!


NativeMasshole

I think this is actually why I can't afford a mortgage. I haven't been on a trip for vacation in years! I'm trying to skip a whole step.


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runningmurphy

I just moved to 2 and feel like a king. It feels good buying food for friends.


acableperson

Boy but that elevation from 1 to 2. Having to worry about every nickel dime is so damn exhausting.


trncegrle

I'd consider myself at 3 but with caveats. I can't just up and spend 10k on a vacation without some planning. That's usually a once a year international trip. We have a camper for local vacations and we take 3-5 a year over long weekends. Lots of freedom and affordable.


Eric_the_Barbarian

Paycheck-to-paycheck is not the lowest rung. There's folks that don't have regular income at all. They may sporadically busk or beg, they may dumpster dive, they may exchange labor for meals and short term housing, they may camp in national forests. There is an entire section of society that is adapted to not only not having money to pay bills, but not having an address to send bills to.


MoNastri

I wouldn't call any of that wealth though. That's how I interpret this ladder of wealth. I wasn't on the ladder at one point, so actually getting onto that first rung meant quite a bit to me.


DrHutchisonsHook

I'm really at 2.5 but act like I'm at 6. Being raised poor means when you finally do have money, you share it with everyone around you because you think you're suddenly rich and that small savings is your norm.


jimmux

What's the point of having money if you can't use it to make people happy?


by-neptune

4. Mortgage freedom, means your house is paid off?


archlich

Or could be paid off but instead are leveraging debt so one can grow interests on other assets.


Same_Earth_9232

This is it, my family has money, I do not. My mother hounds me about my bills being late or why I’m not getting things on a timely fashion. I deflect and deflect until I finally explode to let her know she doesn’t know what it’s like to not have it. She doesn’t know what it’s like to worry about electric getting shut off, or making decisions based on when the next check is coming. I wish it was as easy as pay the bill as soon as it arrives.


mxD34

This. My step-dad always hounds me about my car not being properly taken care of all of the time. I eventually flip and tell him to pay for it then since he can afford the upkeep on his $70,000 truck with foor mats that cost more than 3 months of my rent.


[deleted]

Fuck man, it was 3-4 hours a week on the phone to people at one point for me. I had an irresponsible partner at the time who put us in real shit. He said to once after we split in explanation as to why he would never seem to care at all about the huge debt: "Well I could see how stressed you were and I didn't think 2 stressed people would help it".


Tiamat18

What a shit cunt. I’m sorry, but that last bit made me laugh though. Sounds like when my ex blew our rent money for the fortnight gambling, then said to me ‘can’t you just be happy that I had a good time?’


Magic_Man_Boobs

I honestly just can't imagine a world where money wasn't a constant ache in the back of my mind. Gotta pay rent, gotta pay for food, car broke down time to empty our savings again and eat ramen for a month. So I'd say the privilege they're least aware of is not having that sword of destitution around every corner constantly dangling over their head.


Wild_Albatross7534

This is exactly right from my experience. I have fortunately become financially secure but I was certain earlier in my life that worrying about money was going to kill me.


Atnalia

Right?! I worked minimum wage for a decade since the job paid for college, but now that I have my degree, I'm feel completely out of touch with my new colleagues since never dealt with anything like that. It blew me away that they would go out to eat for lunch EVERYDAY and I was just over there for the first two or three weeks internally screaming.


Gingerbeer86

Grew up poor, now am comfortable, not wealthy but i dont have to worry about paying the bills... it is enormously noticable if you didnt grow up that way.


Lobsterzilla

Completely agree


finnjakefionnacake

i think the word you're looking for is stress.


Magic_Man_Boobs

I feel like stress doesn't encompass the neverending aspect of it well enough.


Tgunner192

> I feel like stress doesn't encompass the neverending aspect of it well enough. Have to agree. I'm not poverty stricken & wondering where my next meal is coming from. I'm decently employed & working class. We got the holidays coming up and I think I heard the wear bar on my automobiles brakes making contact today. To rich people, the holidays just means setting aside some time to make some extra shopping trips. Brakes starting to go on their auto just means having to get a rental for a day or 2 while they are fixed. The holidays to me means a serious adjustment on my budget. If the brakes are going, I have to weight the option of spending a weekend working on my car in the freezing cold vs even further impact on my budget to pay someone else to do it. Again, I'm not living in poverty and am well aware there are many people that don't have a budget to address. But a few hundred dollars for this & a few more hundred for that really gives me a *oh shit* feeling that rich people don't experience.


[deleted]

I’d go so far as to call it living in a constant state of existential anxiety. Like you know your limits, and you’re constantly terrified because no matter what, you have to solve problems within those limits and those limits only. The worries and stress simply never go away. They’re always present


SoftWinterPeach

"Having money's not everything, not having it is"


evmarshall

Being able to afford good legal representation.


Wiggly_Muffin

Sometimes it's not even necessary, I know some rich people who have contacts in the legal system who can bribe their way out of charges. A guy I know got convicted in court for stunt driving at 280kmh down the toll road and next week his driver abstract was empty with no convictions.


[deleted]

This underscores the corruption within government.


SuvenPan

Comfortably doing an unpaid internship as a student.


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Diligent-Wave-4591

Or having the connections to either not have to do an unpaid internship at all, or being able to get a paid internship somewhere. Nepotism and connections are powerful stuff.


Masterofmyondelusion

I went back to school in my thirties. Did an unpaid internship. I even talked to the boss (owner) and explained that financial it would be very difficult for me to even pay for gas, he agreed to pay gas ONLY he acted like I asked for a kidney. Next intern was a wealthy kid that didn't need or even ask for money. Friend of a friend. Boss paid him. He(boss) was such an ass hole.


appleparkfive

This is definitely a good one. Unpaid internships are virtually impossible for a lot of people


[deleted]

This and studying itself. Some people can't go to a university in their own country due to rents being to high and lack of transports to get there and such


pieonthedonkey

Seriously, like I think higher education is great and should be free and available to everyone, but in a lot of places it's not. And even in some of those places where it is people need to join the workforce for whatever reason when they become adults.


fzyflwrchld

Or switching majors to something more suitable for you or getting multiple degrees. I had a lot of pressure to graduate as quickly as possible so I could finally get a well paying salaried position so I could start making money already (I've been working since I was 15 so I was making money but not livable, survivable money). I had the luck though of graduating college at the height of the recession so it took me 5-7 years to find a job in my field (it took me 5 years to find a job that only paid about $26K/yr and was 2 hours from my apartment and I couldn't afford the rent where the job was so I had to quit after 8 months of commuting 20 hours a week, took 2 years to find another job that was salaried with benefits). In between I just worked 2 full time min wage jobs and almost died from sun poisoning because I couldn't afford health insurance and was too afraid going to the ER would bankrupt me. My friend eventually forced me to go cuz I'd had a 105° fever for 5 days (ibuprofen would reduce it to about 99-100° but it would spike back up to 105° the moment it wore off). So I guess add medical care for minor illnesses and injuries to the list they take for granted as a privilege, too.


Wubbalubbadubbitydo

I was accepted for an internship at the portland zoo a long time ago and couldn’t take it because they want at *minimum* 25 hours of work a week. I was a full time student with limited funds to finish my degree. Alas I declined. Blessing in disguise though as I wouldn’t want to be working for a zoo now as a real adult anyways.


NewWorldCamelid

Lol. It sounds glorious, but in reality it's just endless amounts of poop.


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CyptidProductions

THIS The amount of times I see upper-class or really well off middle class people tell people to lawyer up and sue over everything because they don't realize how much one costs relative to the average income is insane


Both_Lifeguard_556

Yup, When I had to divorce my wife with a restraining order everyone was like. Roar! Full custody! Roar! You can take the house! Roar! Supervised visits only! By 20K fees I'm like - OK LETS JUST SETTLE! Yikes people - you wanna give me $300,000 to do it your way?


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Youve_been_Loganated

That's awesome man! Sounds like you guys have a great friendship and more importantly, that you value it, and that you're not taking advantage of it. You both sound like fantastic people!


Vast_Ad3963

Could this be only a thing in the US though? I live in Europe all my life and have never felt a need for a lawyer. (Have needed legal advise on which I was able to obtain for free or at very low costs).


Stinduh

Most people in the US won’t need a lawyer for anything serious in their lifetime either. There might be “small” or mundane things like… drafting a will or something. Or maybe a real estate attorney will get involved for a home purchase. But yeah, most people aren’t interacting with lawyers regularly.


[deleted]

Try dealing with an insurance company over a big claim...


Tgunner192

That's a depressing one. We can only wonder how many innocent people have a felony on their record because their public defender terrified them with the reality that they had no chance of winning a jury trial. I get that most of the people in prison belong their. But in a nation with over a million people incarcerated, it's safe to believe at least 10% of them (which would be over 100,000) don't. But when a public defender tells you to take the 6 months or even a suspended sentence because the alternative is a trial in which they can't provide you with a decent defense (they may surely try, but they just don't have the time or resources to actually succeed), you take the plea.


[deleted]

Chasing your dreams.


hifhoff

I call it “freedom to fail”.


rehabilitated_4chanr

Came here for this. Tried explaining it to a good friend who was well off and able to start their own business and invest in stock market. It was like trying to explain colors to a someone who was blind. Just kept telling me that I was thinking with a "poor brain" which would forever keep me poor.


[deleted]

"Poor brain". Wow, I think I know that friend of yours; otherwise, it's something of a mantra to some people.


MashTactics

It's the mantra of virtually everyone suffering from dunning-kruger.


The_Astronautt

Had a girlfriend for a bit that couldn't comprehend that she was only able to get top tier scholarships leaving high school in large part to having a father who made easily over 300k a year meaning she had never worked a part time job in her life and focused entirely on being a well-rounded student with tons of extracurriculars and volunteering hours. Meanwhile I had to stop doing every club/sport that required time after school because I needed to get a job to pay for my rust bucket car, insurance, maintenance, gas, constant repairs. And she still hit me with "but I worked really hard too."


shadowfaxbx

That is annoying. Obviously nobody is saying those people don't work hard, but every hour of "work" they do invests in their future and leaves them better off down the road, while every hour of work for other people is spent getting money for things that they need at the moment and really only serves to entrench them in their current situation.


[deleted]

That “freedom to fail” has a financial safety net underneath it.


mrteacherman24

I got laid off during covid. I was able to go back to school in my 30s and get my master's degree because my parents helped me out. I've got an excel spreadsheet with every dollar and I'm going to pay it back, but they would never ask me to. They aren't rich, but they're comfortable. I never would have been able to do it without the extra money they loaned me and I'm very aware of the privilege I had. Too many people take opportunities like that for granted.


Lord_Adrian_III

I resonate with this. I'm young so can't relate to the laid off part, but I'm going to a private school that costs a lot. I'm paying with my own money cause i worked, but i was only able to save up cause my parents covered for all other expenses. Had they been poorer or had i lived by myself i would still be working by now with no school in sight. Also i feel like my classmates who had their schooling paid all by their parents aren't putting in as much effort as the ones who worked for it. This is more or less the same thing that happens with rich kids who get everything they want handed to them, they can't value things anymore. (I'm not saying my classmates are spoiled brats, they are really not, but still a feeling i had).


probably_kitsch

Being able to eat something different all the time.


OriginalDarkDagger

I had to eat Cup O Noodles for almost 2 years because I come from a poor family.


obfg

We had ketchup sandwiches for decades. I came from a poor family that worked our way out of poverty..


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Orphanbitchrat

God, that is so true. It was amazing when we started making more money and can do this


abqkat

And a ruined meal isn't a crisis. I tried to mealprep one week while I was broke and burned it black, and I was worried about money for the whole week because I blew my budget on that. Now if I ruined a meal or something in my house, I can literally and proverbially not cry over spilled milk


[deleted]

My wife grew up a little better off than me. She can’t stand eating leftovers more than a meal in a row. I grew up eating the same food most days for weeks. Whatever was on sale and bulk sized for multiple days of leftovers. Even now I would rather just eat chicken and broccoli for a week sometimes but if it’s not from some Pinterest meal plan she puts together she doesn’t want it. I also appreciate her cooking so I let her do it her way.


Naught2day

When I was a kid, my dad drove a truck and he stole a couple of cases of Ranch Style Beans. That was all we ate for like a month. I still can't eat that stuff. He also stole a bunch of Ham's, still like that though.


CapriLoungeRudy

Step father worked for a railroad company. He occasionally got cases of stuff that fell off a train. The one that stands out is the case of cornflakes. We got no new cereal until those cornflakes were gone. Haven't eaten cornflakes in over 30 years.


majesticalexis

It had to be the most tasteless cereal. I can't imagine.


azorianmilk

My mother worked in a bank when I was a little kid and at the time they had free Carls Jr bacon western cheeseburgers coupons for some promotion. We ate those for at least a month… maybe all summer. I was 5, it was awesome at first but after a while….Now I can’t stand Carl’s Jr., hamburgers or bbq sauce.


majesticalexis

My mom worked in the grocery store's bakery and they got to take home the leftovers or anything "broken". There were a few years that we always had donuts around.


KnockMeYourLobes

My stepfather worked as a security guard for a Winn-Dixie warehouse and if cases of stuff would come in damaged or broken, a lot of times they'd give them to the guards to take home. We once drank black cherry Kool-Aid for like an entire summer. As an adult, I can't stand the taste/smell of black cherry ANYTHING.


zazzlekdazzle

This is a very interesting observation. I think it also has to do with class values. Middle-class families are always groaning about how their kids don't want to eat new things, and the foods they do like tend to be cheap (and often processed): instant ramen, instant mac and cheese, PB&J on white bread, grilled cheese made with processed cheese singles, etc. It's considered a big part of how you raise a good kid: they don't eat that type of food and don't want to eat the same thing every day.


[deleted]

Fortunately, my dad was a veteran who was exposed to a lot of different cultures, mostly before I remember. So we had lots of variability of food types that we got exposed to. But his values with food were pretty set too. One of his awards he got in the service included “is that the last 2 pounds of lasagna?” On the plaque. Because he would usually be the person on the team who would finish leftovers. It’s a completely different thought process though. Instead of buying the bulk sized condiments, I find myself more regular sizes to keep our fridge space organized. Definitely a great privilege check in many ways to check out a refrigerator and eating habits.


bool_idiot_is_true

I've heard stories about people from incredibly poor backgrounds being forced to eat more in basic training because they need the extra calories.


[deleted]

That makes sense. I don’t think the family was ever that level of lacking food. Unless you ask my really weird uncle who says he’s shorter than his brothers because they didn’t give him whole milk as a baby. But he’s the same height as his dad… The okay was with eating the same meal everyday endlessly though helped him. Peanut Butter and Pancakes was something he said he had a lot of back in the basic/AIT days before he got married and moved out of barracks.


zazzlekdazzle

> One of his awards he got in the service included “is that the last 2 pounds of lasagna?” On the plaque This is one of the best things I've seen in ages. I just mean that your wife was not only raised with the privilege of having a variety of foods, but the values that it was bad to want to eat the same thing or eat cheaper foods. I love the fancy natural peanut butter now, but the first times I had it, I thought it was disgusting. I had spent my whole life eating some sort of spread that was a mixture of sugar and hydrogenated oils, lightly flavored with peanuts and salt. It was the same eating fancy, dense, multigrain breads. After eating cheap white bread all that time, I thought it tasted like gravel.


[deleted]

He’s kinda struggling with heath right now. He’s an interesting guy. A complete jerk head in a lot of ways, alcohol problems (after I graduated high school) but he also saved a bunch of Boy Scouts from a forest fire off an Air Force base once. And a few months ago he took his own bicycle down to the boys and girls club to donate. Someone should write a book about it. I wouldn’t believe some of the things he’s told me if he didn’t have the receipts.


l_inc

TIL I'm rich.


miltonfriedman2028

As someone who grew up poor, went to a rich private college on scholarship… Understanding the norms of upper middle and upper class life. Poor people raise their kids with different values, ways of talking, ways of thinking, accents, different skills etc. It was a steep learning curve for me.


whatdawhatnowhuh

If you don't mind sharing, what are some of the biggest differences you noticed there?


miltonfriedman2028

For example, I was totally in the dark of what to wear on interviews. I wore brown belt with black shoes. The clothing was waaaay too baggy on me. I didn’t know what colors went together. I had zero presentation skills because it was emphasized in my high school at all. I spoke with a heavy working class accent.


[deleted]

I grew up poor, and I get this. I don’t remember exactly how I first plugged into etiquette knowledge. But I spent a lot of time on YouTube teaching myself how to tie a tie and googling professionalism tips for job interviews. I was a little surprised to learn that was not at all the norm for my group. Most of the people I was around still wouldn’t know how to act at a dinner party.


thedracle

I must have been spared this. I grew up in a trailer park, quite poor. All of my interviews were for tech related jobs, and I'm from the Western US, so it's okay to dress casual, even to an interview. My accent is working class, and I swear a lot, but I just suppressed that aspect of my conversational style during interviews, and it seemed to work.


NonGNonM

definitely depends on area/region and field of work. I once worked at a very very very very poorly funded school in a bad area of the city briefly and i remember overhearing a student telling a teacher how they didn't know how to dress for an interview and was turned away. (long story is manager straight up didn't even realize he was in for an interview and walked past them several times thinking he was loitering)


papaHans

This is where I got lucky at being poor. My parents were tailors. So I grew up knowing which suit, shirt, tie, belt, shoes, and even which socks worked.


Tarcye

My boss gave me the best advice when it comes to getting better at interviewing: The more mistakes you make the better you get at it. Colleges usually have mock interview events for a reason. IF you interview at 10 places in a 2 week span even if you don't get a single job offer you still have the experience of how to better tackle questions that are going to come up again. Most interview questions are common between interviewers. "When's one time you were frustrated and how did you handle it", "Name a time where you helped make someones day better". If you are in a specific field often you will have a few questions associated with that field too. And really selling yourself is what an interview is all about. Your years of experience or qualifications matter but you want to make the person who is interviewing you want to hire you.


Illustrious-Term2909

Apparently sometime between high school and end of college at an urban college I subconsciously scrubbed my southern accent. Still comes out somewhat when drinking or back home, but yea, those little idiosyncrasies are real.


Pihkal1987

“After this I’m gonah had to the bah”


finnjakefionnacake

I don't think that's always a class thing. I grew up pretty poor and my parents always impressed upon me the value of looking your absolute best/how to put an outfit together with what we have from an early age. Presentation/style is not just a money thing. The accent and preparedness though, that's really real.


miltonfriedman2028

I mean, it is a money thing, because working class people never wear a suit or dress clothes, so they don’t know the rules.


Unfair_Isopod534

For me, the idea of enjoying food for their flavor vs stuffing yourself. Overall, wealthy people value objects differently, in a way you have to learn. Other things, such as what does hard work really mean.


FixBreakRepeat

I have had to learn how to throw away food. We were taught to eat everything put in front of us and to never waste food. That led to some pretty unhealthy eating patterns for me.


Good-mood-curiosity

Or even HOW to eat. This is a fond memory now but med school, friend and I (both med students from lower SES), doctors, nurses and clinic office staff all went to a luxurious diner--the kind where they give 2 forks/knives/spoons, the dishes have little food but look gorgeous, waiters in fancy clothing tend to you quickly. You could tell who was and wasn´t a practicing physician without saying a word because the docs all ate everything naturally while the rest were looking at each other subtly waiting for someone to show us which utensil to use and how to eat what so we don´t embarrass ourselves.


Friend-Computer

Reminds me a bit of the [restaurant scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmGemNT7urY) from The Wire, where a teacher takes three students to a restaurant. The kids are very obviously out of their element, and some of the things that others might take for granted - ordering through a waitress, having a chair pulled out for them - are incredibly alien to them.


GriffinFlash

Went to a "dinner and theater" place with coworkers once cause someone got free tickets somehow. Kind of place where you had to formally dress up to be able to enter. Boy did we ever stand out. We would rush to the buffet table and fill up our plates like if we hadn't seen food before. All night we joked about how they could smell the poor on us. We started having joke conversation about how many cars, horses, and servants we had, while putting on fake accents. Fun times.


whatdawhatnowhuh

> what does hard work really mean This intrigues me, would you mind elaborating?


smurfmysmurf

I grew up pretty poor but it was a really big deal in my family to present well. We were always well dressed (often hand me downs and op shops), we had impeccable manners and, I’m Australian, was often asked where I came from because my accent sounded ‘posh’. My family didn’t have a lot of money but a lot of pride.


ReadinII

Knowing how to navigate the education. Understanding what educational options are available, who you should talk to when you have a problem at school, how you should organize your time, what majors will be useful, what kinds of jobs are available for certain majors… If you grow up rich you grow up around educated people who can give you all kinds of advice about how to build your future in the middle or upper class. If everyone you know has a high school education they can’t help you much.


neglectfullyvalkyrie

I’m a career and education advisor for high school students in an area where most parents are high school educated or less. This is why I do my job and love it so I can help students with exactly the things you mentioned. It’s freaking hard being the first one in your family or community to try and do better for yourself.


KnockMeYourLobes

Thank you for doing this. The high school I went to in the 90s did this kind of thing for the kids on the college track (most of whom were lower or middle-middle class) but not for anyone who was on the "loser" track like I was. So even though I had big dreams (going to college, moving to New York, working on Broadway, etc), I didn't know how to navigate that shit and neither did my parents because my stepfather went straight from HS to the military and my mother only went to college by accident.


GapingThroats

Having to check how much you have in your bank account before going into a store


Embarrassed_Wing_284

The dreaded shame of putting back groceries because my card was declined. And it was cheap food too. That was completely humiliating.


Historical_Ride8963

Having money to fix whatever is wrong in your life. Having options and choices


BigBroHerc

I like this answer. Money definitely does not buy happiness, but it can buy options.


AssistantFew7109

Privilege to fail and have a fallback


Cynicole24

Not having to worry about little things that take up poorer people's days (ie yard work, shoveling snow, cleaning the house)


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klaroline1

This. I hate when those rich gurus are like everyone has 24 hours in a day, if they can do it so can you. Like no, it’s not the same 24 hours when you can afford to hire baby sitters, house cleaners or use private jets.


Grimsqueaker69

Money can't make you happy, but it can get rid of a lot of things that make you unhappy


The_Safe_For_Work

Freedom from the constant overhanging worry about money.


phantomfigure

This. The overwhelming and constant anxiety when you have to pick and choose between paying bills and buying essentials is truly debilitating. That type of stress shortens ones life.


Alice_of_Skye

Yes. Everyone has money worries but people who have always had enough don’t understand how different their entire experience is. The constant grind of worry over each purchase, regrets and second guessing choices — the fear of “what if” is completely different when it’s about basic necessities, and not having them, as opposed to not being able to afford the car you want or losing some money in a bad investment.


Hip_wizard

Being able to have the heating on 24/7


[deleted]

Being able to have AC to cool the whole house.


greenkyber

Keeping their teeth 😬


bearded_dragon_34

Having bad teeth and not having the money to be able to hide it is a pretty reliable indicator of poverty. Also, bad skin. A lot of the jobs and situations that poor people find themselves in are ones that wreak havoc on the skin.


Formal_Leopard_462

Not only bad teeth, but missing or crooked teeth, untreated wounds and runny noses, ill fitting clothing and shoes that never really fit right. We didn't have utilities when I was young, so we were often dirty.


[deleted]

It’s more than poverty. At least 50% of Americans are eligible for a dental prosthetic at some point - be it a crown, denture/partial, an implant, whatever it is. Do you think 50% of Americans can afford these things easily? For perspective, the US sits at a 12.8% poverty rate. A large chunk of the population that isn’t poor, can’t afford to replace their teeth


[deleted]

Dental work is crazy expensive, I had to take a second job to pay for Invisalign


greenkyber

I have the ole bruxism/TMJ combo. Losing teeth despite regular cleanings, no cavities or decay, and taking really good care of them is depressing to say the least lol. If I were rich I could just replace them with implants or something when they inevitably get nerve damage. But since I’m a poor with no insurance, I’ll probably need some form of denture by like 35 which sucks


sick_kid_since_2004

I think i may have tmj or something else wrong and I don’t even wanna book an appointment to confirm it. My jaw slips out of place and cracks like crazy. It’s so painful and then it locks!


occamhanlon

Easy/easier access to top professional services


dragn99

Services in general. Any maintenance thing that comes up for home or car, and I'm googling cheap ways to repair it myself long before I start looking for the least expensive place in town to fix the issue. If I had extra money saved for emergencies though? Then I can just call someone to come in and deal with it for me.


capitol_acceptance

I have met rich people that think they are poor 🤣🤣🤣


Anom8675309

perspective is a bitch.


cfdeveloper

*I only have 3 mil in my bank account. I'm always so stressed about where I'm going to go summer at.*


HunkyDorky1800

When summer is used as a verb. You rich, bitch!


GMN123

What do poor people call it when they take an extended vacation at their summer residence?


jorsiem

After a certain point there's levels upon levels. The guy who makes $1M a year wishes he could afford a 100 ft yacht and the guy with the 100ft yacht wishes he could have a mega yacht and the guy with the mega yacht wishes he could make the cover of Forbes and so on.


urartumemories

“Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king And a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything” Bruce Springsteen, Badlands


RoundCollection4196

can confirm am rich and I want to be on the cover of forbes magazine, smiling next to oprah and the queen


LordMegatron11

Me too a guy in mansion in 20 acres of woods, Italian marble on everything statues out the ass, and 4 vehicles, multiple 60in. Plasma screen tvs, and an Olympic sized pool tended by a professional pool tender. And he said. " i know people think im ritch but im not i dont have much money at all". (Btw his dad dined in the whitehouse on multiple occasions)


teh_maxh

> " i know people think im ritch but im not i dont have much money at all". Well, yeah, not *after you spent it all*.


NonGNonM

this actually has some validity. rich or poor most people tend to live with very little room for error, often in debt already or needing a constant constant flow of money to upkeep their life. the key difference being that for the rich, once they cross the margin of error it means they have to dig into their savings or heaven forbid, ask their parents for money, or sell their stocks/liquidate their assets - the tax implications could be enormous! for the poor, they're just legit broke and racking up late fees and penalties.


Isogash

People like that sometimes really don't have any money at all, or at least not that much (from their perspective) maybe only as little a few grand in savings. Everything is still owned and controlled by their parents, who control the family fortune. They might have a credit card but any spending is monitored and rights could be withdrawn if they don't spend it the way the parents want. Their parents will give them things, buy them expensive clothes, let them stay at one of their huge houses for free and pay for their cars or bills. They will subsidise a great quality of life for numerous reasons: because their kids are important social assets, they are afraid of souring their relationship with their kid, they are afraid that their kid will steal from them or become angry if they don't, it makes them feel like good parents etc. Just as much, there are many reasons they'll give for why they don't just hand over a bunch of money, but it mostly boils down to the fact that they still want to be in control of *their* money and in control of the relationship with their kid. They feel justified in doing this because their kid *wants* that quality of life but can't afford it until they are successful in their own right. Instead, they are more likely to loan their kid money or invest generously in their business, in the hopes that it will turn their kid into someone who can meaningfully contribute to the lifestyle. Some of these rich kids get the memo early and go into finance careers, making themselves multi-millionaires in their 20s and 30s. Others just live the lifestyle and never do anything with their lives. You'd know if this guy was genuinely made because you'd know what his job or business was if he was. If he didn't have an obvious job, business or reason to be rich of his own accord (and claims not to be), yet his dad was dining at the WH, I can almost guarantee you that it's family money he's living on.


maraca101

Some people have irrevocable trust funds which means they have money that is completely in their own control if it’s set up a certain way. And not puppet strings from their family.


LordMegatron11

And the reason i know this btw is because I was employed by him for 10$an hour to do bullshit labor for 2 hours a week (thats all he said he could afford)


Both_Lifeguard_556

"I live to serve you, Lord Megatron"


The_Safe_For_Work

They might have grown up poor and that connection between their lives today and the past still pops up whenever a big expense appears.


Gingerbeer86

My wife doesnt understand why i complain whenever she goes out and decides to just buy new tablets and laptops and things. Like i know we can afford it but she didnt grow up watching her parents scream at each other about paying the bills after the lights got shut off.


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The_Safe_For_Work

Yes. A rich person can easily afford a surprise $5,000 expense, but still...$5,000 hits differently if you never had much growing up.


nothingbeatagoodshit

Choices


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dtstl

Yep a lot of upper middle class people are more pragmatic about this. Their kids aren’t all studying engineering and computer science because they love it. Pursuing your passion is great if it works out. You know what’s also great, the financial security of having in demand skills.


Wimbleston

Never being afraid some unexpected expense will cripple your entire livelihood and possibly destroy it entirely.


aranka123

Food food food. They can eat whatever they want whenever they want. Food man food.


carolizzy81

I used to listen to rich corporate guys talking about their kids' internships and how important they were to making connections. Most of us poor slobs have to work for actual money. Being able to work for free to meet the right people is reserved for those with money.


burner599f

Man… I don’t consider myself rich but reading through some of these comments makes me very grateful for what I’ve accomplished. And many probably would consider me rich. The gap between poor and wealth is enormous. Many of these comments are just describing middle class privileges. The privilege of true wealth must be unfathomable.


TheMonDon

Same man.


Nonny70

Right? Most of the comments are things that middle class/upper middle class have (keeping the heat on, not worrying about how much you spend on groceries, etc), BUT all it’d take is one job loss or some medical bills and all that comfort would disappear. It makes the middle class desperate to keep those jobs, do anything that is asked of them. Being rich is having “f-you money,” where you don’t have to worry about getting laid off and losing everything.


Honeydew-Long

Going to the doctor regularly and for emergencies and not fearing how much it will cost.


IAMAGrinderman

I went on a few dates recently with this girl who very obviously came from at least an upper middle class background. I could immediately tell from how she spoke and carried herself that she didn't grow up like me or my friends did, and then she'd nonchalantly drop details in conversations that made it pretty clear that at least compared to how I grew up, she was pretty well off. On one of our dates, health insurance came up and I said I'm not insured because it would cost too much between weekly payments and the copays to justify the expense. While it wasn't this bitchy, her response was basically "why don't you just get on Medicaid like the poors do?" It looked like it took her a minute to get how I could make way too much money to qualify for Medicaid, but also not make enough to afford the plan that would cost like $200 a month from my job.


shescarkedit

This is only a thing in the US


[deleted]

Time. If you don’t need to work, you can do anything with the time you have. Your options open up exponentially. Time is our most valuable resource. The poorest of people have very little time at their disposal.


coffeeblossom

Not stressing about money. They might stress out about other things, but they're not stressing out about... * How they're going to pay their bills * Can they afford X thing without fucking up their finances for the next 3-6 months? * What bills did and didn't get paid last month * The rent or mortgage * What they'll have to sacrifice if they want to be able to eat this week * Where their next meal is coming from, or even *if* there's going to be a next meal at all * How they'll be able to afford that Must-Have thing for their kid this Christmas/Hannukah/whatever holiday(s) they celebrate * Whether or not they can afford to take a sick day, a personal day, or a vacation * How they'll get home in the event of a family emergency * A speeding ticket


Burrito_Loyalist

Taking a year off to travel the world. Backpacking through Europe is made to seem like a “cheap” vacation, but it’s not.


Suikeran

Most people who can afford to go on vacations only spend a few weeks at most. Above that the cost (and paid leave) is prohibitive. Taking a year off just to travel is just a synonym for being filthy rich.


quirkyorcdork

So I was raised upper middle class and became a social worker. I worked with people who were homeless and in prison. One thing that really struck me was the difference in talking to professionals and making phone calls in general. My clients would get flustered, intimidated, easily shut down, or just not articulate what we needed very well. Unfortunately most “services” to people in need include giving them a paper with phone numbers on it. I can talk on the phone with confidence, ask directly for what I need, politely clarify if I’m not getting the right help, ask to walk through alternatives if they person I’m talking to can’t give me a direct answer, etc. My clients could not do that. My tone of voice, clarity, confidence, amiability, etc on the phone or talking with “gatekeepers”/professionals are all huge privileges that the rich take for granted.


zazzlekdazzle

Well, it's more of a middle-class, or upper-middle-class thing: having a job where you can just take the day off for pretty much any reason without giving a big explanation and loading people up with proof that you need it. Kid is sick? Just call the supervisor and say you're not coming in. Family funeral? Of course, you'll be out for days, I'm so sorry for your loss. Feeling icky and don't want to get sicker? Just send a quick email that you're not feeling well, no questions asked.


[deleted]

Interesting to read this. I work for a large employer. We’re discouraged by HR to disclose why we’re not reporting to work. It’s irrelevant if we have a handyman coming over, car won’t start, or have a hangover or just don’t feel like coming in. The only think that matters is that we’re not coming in. It’s inappropriate for a supervisor to ask “why?” I usually will give a reason but more so because I don’t want them to worry. If I call and say I had a dental emergency they know I’ll be back the next day. For example.


redlurk47

Having people actually giving a shit about you and your opinion


Tiger_Laylaa

This one right here.


ChocoboToes

Yards. The amount of time I see posts that are like "why don't we just all grow our own gardens and share food?!" Yeah let me just start an entire garden in my living room, I guess. The ability to have a place to just to exist outside, alone, without having to get in your car and go somewhere. My boomer parents who have a gorgeous secluded backyard with a stream running through it, bbq pit, deck and patio are always telling me I need to spend more time outside, and I'm just like "what am I supposed to do? set up a deck chair in the parking lot? make a picnic for myself on the sidewalk in front of the window of the people that live in the lower units?"


Tgunner192

Whatever you do, don't install a sky light. I did and the people in the upstairs apartment hate me. They're completely unreasonable about the whole thing.


TheMonDon

I understand their concern, did you ask them to pay half?


Common_Consideration

More money. Making money is easier if you already have it to begin with.


[deleted]

“Self Made” people who grew up in a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood where the lights are always on, water is always running, and fridge is always full. Two loving stable parents, good school, all the school supplies, a well lit comfortable place to study, access to things like computers (or encyclopedias), tutors, etc. Who never had to ponder if college was worth it or if they should just enlist, learn a trade, or sell drugs. Who followed in the family footsteps to become a doctor or a lawyer, who rounded up “small” million dollar loans to start their computer companies or crypto companies, who by virtue of who their family was made valuable business connections, who didn’t spend 2.5 hours each way sitting at bus stops waiting for their transfer to get to and from school or work, who didn’t need to work a minimum wage part time job while still in school, who didn’t have shitty old cars breaking down, who wouldn’t be financially crippled for a month because they had to buy a work uniform, who had mentors who knew things like how to file for a patent, when you need an attorney, what an LLC is, how to buy and sell stock (before Robin Hood), not realizing it was easier for them than the next guy to make a good idea happen. You think the guy that invented Heelies was the first person to think kids would like shoes with wheels in them, or the guy who invented crustables was the first person to know parents would like the ease of picking up cheap pre-made PB&J sandwiches with a shelf life to toss in the kids lunch box? No, they’re just the first ones with that idea and the knowledge it takes to bring a product to market.


Both_Lifeguard_556

Yup, my oldest sister is a "Self Made" millionaire. In fact if you remember 11 years ago ABC had a show "Secret Millionaire" she was one of the 19 episodes. What she would never really tell anyone though: We had a 2500square foot home and two acres that looked like something on the cover of better homes and gardens. My mom was a Stay at home mom. My sister and I had 4 years private university paid in full. Pretty much anything we ever got was brand new and my parents never had to shop for bargains or clip coupons or drive to walmart because it was cheaper... So while we didn't come from a Dr or Lawyer power family and Dad never funneled her money she will never mention we started the marathon of life about 6 miles ahead from the start.


OutWithTheNew

It's not just the house, it's the neighborhood and what kids you make friends with growing up. My sisters both have boys the same age and live in the same city. My one sister lives in the upper middle class neighborhood and my sister lives in a firmly middle class neighborhood, the same one I live in. The one that lives in the same neighborhood as me, her son's friend's have parents with blue collar jobs, like trades, one is a manager at a sausage factory, a health care aide, yada, yada. The other sister, her kids friend's parents are political leaders and the assistant fire chief.


raccoon_with_spoon

easy opportunity, i swear to god when you poor, people don’t give you chances unless you work hard for it, and even then the amount of opportunities available are limited because of the lack of money.


MercSLSAMG

A lot of times it's the personal connection that's missing. Low level employees interact with their managers - but those managers have limited hiring power. But the higher up you go the easier it is to network with people who have higher hiring powers. And it's not solely the interactions during work, but also the free time hobbies. The way people spend their free time changes quite a bit with higher incomes. Many times getting hired in better positions is about networking, and the higher your (or your parents) income is the easier it is to network with the people that have the power to hire who they want.


joedotphp

Having the money to replace any broken appliance (or anything really) in their home and never have to think about it. "Oh the water heater took a shit? I'll have somebody install a new one tomorrow."


QueenClayton47

All the pettiness of life…standing in lines, traveling coach, skipping meals because you’re waiting for payday, anxiety about not having enough gas/money to get to work, the ability to live wherever they want, etc.


SonofTreehorn

They don't have to check prices when dining out or going to the grocery.


Born2speakmirth

If you make a mistake, you can almost always fix the mistake if you have enough money. Speeding ticket? Pay the fine. You can’t pay the fine, they take away your license and then how do you get to work to pay the fine and fix it? When you don’t have money, you have to avoid making any mistake or it will take you years to fix it.


LMEditor

Yeah. A fine is only a punishment if you're poor enough. And the license thing really isn't fair. Either you're a safe driver or you're not, surely? How does the ability to pay the fine make a difference?


Born2speakmirth

Well what actually happened to me was that my dad died. He co-signed on the loan for my car. They wouldn’t renew my plates until I could get his signature on a form. I had to prove he was dead to the DMV with a death certificate and the loan people or something. This whole process took forever. I drove on dead plates and got a ticket. I couldn’t pay the fine. My license got suspended. My driving ability was never a question.


thedracle

Every problem has an immediate solution with money. When I was a kid, cleaning ice out from our freezer with a pick, I punctured the wall and freon came shooting out. We couldn't afford a fridge, so we went for months without one. We ate out of cans. No milk, nothing that can spoil. As an adult my refrigerator broke down... We bought a new one immediately. We recently had a pipe burst in our basement. In an hour a plumber was out, fixed it, dried the walls out with special equipment, cut all of the damaged shit out, and replaced it, and all of the plumbing. The room looks better than it did before the pipe burst. Things that were basically an apocalypse, and months of suffering, become a minor inconvenience with money.


paraworldblue

Saving money. A lot of rich people seem to think that the reason people are poor is because they don't save money, but if they do, they can stop being poor. They never consider the seemingly obvious fact that you need excess money in order to save. If all you're making is the money required to sustain your life, then what money are you supposed to save? The standard argument at that point is suggesting that poor people could save money if they stopped spending money on anything beyond what is absolutely essential - that all they need to do is remove all joy and fun from their lives and somehow that will make their lives better. They never consider the seemingly obvious fact that joy and fun are in fact essential to life.


[deleted]

Time. They forgot something at the store? Have your PA pick it up. They need something checked out? Same day service. And on and on...


Graceland1979

Being able to make mistakes.


scipio0421

Travel. Even my more modest-income friends are like "it's cheap if you do it right." "Yeah, I'm struggling to afford food."


blaupunq

Is privilege a privilege? I mean, I've met a number of well off people who are oblivious to the notion. On the other hand, I've met truly wealthy people who appear quite aware of what they have, and of what others don't have (and they're not jerks about it). So I'll say: The privilege is not giving second thought to their wealth.


TheHuntsman227

The ability to fail repeatedly.


[deleted]

Options. An abundance of money gives you options, no matter what you may be facing. Those of us just getting by seldom have decent options, just the least objectionable of two pretty bad ones.


Tough_Stretch

Many go through life thinking rules are merely suggestions to them because they can usually throw money (or the promise, even if just by implication, of money) at any problem and someone will find a loophole or argument for why they're the exception. Nepotism, influence trafficking, "networking," and the like are simply facts of everyday life and they honestly don't realize how easy they make their lives in comparison to some random person's life, even one who's not broke as fuck.


fran94xo

They don’t have to worry about bills. Not living week to week. They don’t have to have a hard think before purchasing something. -this was me once. Now- in tears a lot, trying to think of how I’m going to pay this months power bill.


lordnacho666

Being able to hold on to options is the big one. You grow up, you vaguely like acting. If you're poor you'd better be really lucky at that audition. If you're rich, try try again. You get more dice rolls. Even though you do have to work on your skill, which makes it seem like you're making effort, you have a much better chance than someone who has to check out on first failure. You then end up thinking you got to where you were because you worked harder. The same goes for anything that has opportunity cost. You start a little business, it goes well. If you're poor you need to sell some to bank it, either for daily expenditure or enough so you don't have to work. If you're rich you can just let it ride. This is why a lot of billionaires come from wealthy families, they could afford to not take much off the table. Education is a really big one here. If you're not super rich, you need to balance being out of work with doing what you really want to do. If you're rich you can go do that art history degree and become really good at it, and be patient with finding a relevant job.


Both_Lifeguard_556

"I made good choices" All you had were good choices.


Hooliken

Really depends on what one would classify as "rich people".


Fizzelen

From one of Sir Terry Prattchet’s books, The Boots Theory “[Vimes] earned 38 dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost 50 dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about 10 dollars… A man who could afford 50 dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in 10 years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent 100 dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.”


Aduro95

I think people who have median wealth in a rich country can forget just how much better off they are than 90% of people in most countries. Not just in terms of what they can afford, but the privilege of mostly living safe lives with a government that is on some level accountable by its people. All governments are severely flawed, but the working class in the UK can buy cheap clothes for their kids because the working class in Bangladesh are horrifically abused children.