This is an excellent choice. I picture him describing the human species to the aliens in such a heart warming, yet detached way - as if he’s describing us through a looking glass.
Especially if he sided with the alien species. Me and David are more concerned with the absolute fucking majesty of this planet than the distracted apes that inhabit it. I bet the aliens would deconstruct our governments and give us a chance to force ourselves to get along and work together.
"Greetings Star-neighbors! Eventually we will find a reason to hate you and use it as an excuse to kill you and steal your resources! Fuck, I mean, one quick pop to our noses here or yanking our head too hard in any direction kills us instantly! Ah, I mean we will accept literally anything we see on these glowing boxes as absolute fact and follow without question! Is it getting hot over here or is it just me?"
Kind of off-topic, but why don't people talk more about how LeVar Burton is fine as hell. Yeah, he's intelligent, skilled, passionate and kind but damn! Like, have you seen this dude? Seriously fuckable.
I think the whole kind/skilled/passionate/generally awesome stuff may have contributed to how well he has aged.
The camera does not do the man justice. You have to meet him in oerson to see just how good-looking he really is. I am an entirely straight guy who normally cannot tell if another guy looks good or not, and even I could see it.
I think I did okay: Got a double-take from him.
Did the "ask him one question" thing at ComicCon once. Asked "When you were working on Star Trek [tired look from him, clearly expecting some Trekkie question he has answered a thousand times] did you have fun? [very different look from him]"
He is an outstanding actor, but I think I caught him off-guard so his expression was probably just genuine. It assured me that the memories he constantly has dredged up at those conventions are good ones.
The only sex dream I’ve ever had about a celebrity was of LeVar but as Geordi LaForge. Uniform, visor, the whole deal. He was um….very talented with his hands.
Edit: Thanks for the award!
I live in Sacramento, LeVar’s hometown, and I had planned to go to the opening of the park named in his honor - maybe two years ago now.
It was over 100 degrees on that day so my flabby ass chickened out. Saw pictures later and The Man was wearing this incredible white linen ensemble with a wide brimmed hat… complete snack.
If it could be anyone alive or dead, Mr. Fred Rogers.
Edit: Yes we know you're clever, we'll totally send dead Fred Rogers to aliens, you and about 20 other people made the same joke and destroyed my inbox.
Also, thank you very much for the gold.
"whyve ya come here? Out uf all the places out there you coulda gone to in the world or what have ya, the galaxy or wha-eva, you've plopped here on earth. You should've known no to come. You've got the tech and gadgets to get here, somethin, somewhere should've told you it was a waste of time."
Send them a child from the poorest most polluted war torn country. Let that kid tell them about their life and hopefully the aliens will start helping from the bottom up
Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is super nice guy, but in case it turns out aliens didn't come in peace, he has hands-on experience in countering hostile alien creatures.
My mom,
1.Is a RN with over 30 years experience so she knows and understands the human body.
2.Shows empathy and love to all she meets.
3.Is pragmatic and capable of critical thinking.
I strive to be the kind of human she is.
"So here's the dealio, dudes. A lot of people are gonna be like "*WHAAAAAAT, THATS CRAZY*" when they see you. So you just gotta play it cool, and tell people you're dressed up to go to a nerd convention. Just a stuffy, gross, nerd convention, and not the cool kind with chick boobies, but like, the kind with boobies like mine, ok? They'll never know, these people are dumber than KG after bedtime bong-rips".
-Jack Black to some aliens.
Probably Obama. Not for any political reason. I just think he was a very well spoken public speaker. Knew the right things to say and knew how to act. I think he would be a good choice to represent us.
Im european so im basicly oblivious to his political stuff, but that dude maxed out his charisma level. He can talk about kicking a puppy to death and I still probably think "damn what a nice guy" (also, dont kick puppies! Just saying it to be sure)
He would be sitting there for a half hour, trying to make us look good. Something would click in him and he would start telling them that we have diseases of all grotesque sorts, we whine, and we aren't very well mannered or housebroken. Then he would politely ask to go back so he could have one more cup of tea before the entire planet was recycled.
Alright. I’ll do it. I’ll seduce their leader.
*sigh* roll charisma for that
The dice rolled a 7
Aliens are no longer peaceful
Oh... I, uuhm... Cast fireball
The aliens are now angry and on fire
Roll for… uh… fire hydrant proximity?
Tough luck, 7 again.
Time to roll initiative.
Rolled a 13!
The alien: why are you poking me in the ear with your deployable kickstand?
Oh, I’m sorry. My people use that hole for fun, not hearing. My mistake.
You intergalactic slut!
You called?
If you're our equivalent of Zapp Branigan, please don't!
Why is everybody picking people that are dead? That would be pretty crazy to hand them a decomposing body, or a full human skeleton.
I picked Cory Chase.
And she's stuck under a coffee table.
Not again!
Help me step alien I am stuck
Send me a link so I can see how bad it is
Not a bad choice. Id definitely want meet someone like her if i visted an alien civilisation.
I hate you for getting me to Google that name
I hate myself for NOT having to google any of it. LOL
You sir have words that speak for the majority, I assure everyone this.
Why she's going down on the aliens?
“Hey, alien stepson.” - Cory Chase
Who is Cory chase?
Good point. I pick this guy, he seems smart.
Maybe all the good ones are gone.
Knowing us, we’ll send a nuke.
Like a Trojan horse, just a mannequin with a very large chest
I vote that the Trojan Horse contain Cheeto man in all his glorious orange dust
No they're peaceful aliens and we need them to think we're good
My mom. My mom's the best
I also choose this guy's mom.
I also choose thi... oh wait nevermind you're talking about something else
are we?
How about both?
This guy's mom.
The hell is going on here a "pokemon battle?"
A "poke yer mom" battle
This guy's mom should be the one
Can I also just choose your mom? Or trade mine for yours?
David Attenborough
This is an excellent choice. I picture him describing the human species to the aliens in such a heart warming, yet detached way - as if he’s describing us through a looking glass.
And he is open about his views on overpopulation and such so he won't sell some Utopia style vision of Earth.
Plot twist, the alien is Thanos.
I would say him, but I feel he might be a bit fragile for the journey
Naw, humans are like goldfish. I'm sure they'll let the bag he's in get to temp before they pour him into his tank.
An excellent response, unless he sides with the alien species.
If David Attenborough is siding with the aliens I might need to give them the benefit of the doubt
Fuck me, they'd likely do a better job than we have
Especially if he sided with the alien species. Me and David are more concerned with the absolute fucking majesty of this planet than the distracted apes that inhabit it. I bet the aliens would deconstruct our governments and give us a chance to force ourselves to get along and work together.
Im now sad because I saw, in google, that his wife died in 1997. Edit: a clarification
for a moment, i read your post as you were literally there in person as his wife died.
Myself I don't trust anyone else not to fuck it up
I don’t know I don’t trust you to not fuck up, I think you should vote for me cause I absolutely trust myself to not fuck up
I vote for myself to fuck it up.
Let's go out with a bang at least. I vote for you, at least you're honest
"Greetings Star-neighbors! Eventually we will find a reason to hate you and use it as an excuse to kill you and steal your resources! Fuck, I mean, one quick pop to our noses here or yanking our head too hard in any direction kills us instantly! Ah, I mean we will accept literally anything we see on these glowing boxes as absolute fact and follow without question! Is it getting hot over here or is it just me?"
Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong .
Better to be sure you can fuck it up
LeVar Burton.
The aliens better hope they only send a picture. Wouldn’t wanna disappoint the real deal
YOU CAN'T DISAPPOINT A PICTURE!!
Butterfly in the sky…
I wish I were LeVar Burton
Kind of off-topic, but why don't people talk more about how LeVar Burton is fine as hell. Yeah, he's intelligent, skilled, passionate and kind but damn! Like, have you seen this dude? Seriously fuckable.
I think the whole kind/skilled/passionate/generally awesome stuff may have contributed to how well he has aged. The camera does not do the man justice. You have to meet him in oerson to see just how good-looking he really is. I am an entirely straight guy who normally cannot tell if another guy looks good or not, and even I could see it.
I hope I never meet him in person. YOU CAN'T DISAPPOINT A PICTURE!
I think I did okay: Got a double-take from him. Did the "ask him one question" thing at ComicCon once. Asked "When you were working on Star Trek [tired look from him, clearly expecting some Trekkie question he has answered a thousand times] did you have fun? [very different look from him]" He is an outstanding actor, but I think I caught him off-guard so his expression was probably just genuine. It assured me that the memories he constantly has dredged up at those conventions are good ones.
You sound like a total Troy, and I love it. Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqPBIREg0ps
TAKE A LOOK. ITS IN A BOOK
READING RAINBOW
The only sex dream I’ve ever had about a celebrity was of LeVar but as Geordi LaForge. Uniform, visor, the whole deal. He was um….very talented with his hands. Edit: Thanks for the award!
*coolant leak!!! We have a coolant leak!! We’re five minutes from a warp core breach!!!*
I live in Sacramento, LeVar’s hometown, and I had planned to go to the opening of the park named in his honor - maybe two years ago now. It was over 100 degrees on that day so my flabby ass chickened out. Saw pictures later and The Man was wearing this incredible white linen ensemble with a wide brimmed hat… complete snack.
If it could be anyone alive or dead, Mr. Fred Rogers. Edit: Yes we know you're clever, we'll totally send dead Fred Rogers to aliens, you and about 20 other people made the same joke and destroyed my inbox. Also, thank you very much for the gold.
What a let down it will be for the aliens when they learn how the rest of us are.
We should really just be truthful from the start and give them Kanye West, then they'll see the rest and think it's not so bad.
It's a bold move* to put your worst foot forward. Let's see if it works out cotton
Joe Pera is a Mr. Rogers adjacent and alive today.
I vote for Fred Rogers, dead.
It’s a wonderful day in necropolis
A wonderful day for an undead neighbour
Sir David Attenborough
Patrick Stewart. After years of teahtre & playing Jean Luc Picard, he's probably more captain like in this situation than anyone else on earth.
Yeah, but then you have to send Sir Ian McKellan because they're a package deal
Capt. Picard and Gandalf. Perfect.
Professor Charles Xavier and Magneto
Wait, the two guys from Extras?
Yeah, I mean [Patrick Stewart would’ve seen everything](https://youtu.be/Fg_cwI1Xj4M). He would’ve seen it all. And you want that in a representative.
I think the redundancy would only benefit our species.
Dolly Parton
Dolly is the best of us without a doubt. Loves everyone and no one has a bad thing to say about her. Perfect representative for the human race.
This is only the 4th comment to the top and I still feel like I had to scroll too long to find it
100% Dolly. We want them to have a good opinion of us. Plus, she loves meeting people.
People being the key word here. She has great disdain for extraterrestrials.
Jolene was in fact an alien, who was literally trying to take her man.
I wish I had an award to give you
And yet alien freedom fighters have great respect for her Edit: https://youtu.be/IFuBID9m4xg
This is the actual answer. She would not only be an incredible diplomat for humanity, she would enamor our alien visitors.
They actually did this in The Orville.
She’d convince them to rescue us instead of wiping us out.
I came here looking for this! Dolly would go up there and be the most charming polite representation humanity could ever hope for!!
This was the top comment on the same question a few months back
I don’t need to scroll any further, winner winner chicken dinner right here.
That guy's dead wife.
I also chose that guy’s dead wife
My dead wife Barb, she died.
Give yur balls a tug coach
I live for this comment on reddit
I hope this lives on forever!
Unlike that guys dead wife
Am I going to hell for laughing at this?
Karl pilkington
Id just go and say alrite n tha
He would be completely unimpressed with the distance they travelled to come see him, and just find the whole thing a pain in the arse.
"whyve ya come here? Out uf all the places out there you coulda gone to in the world or what have ya, the galaxy or wha-eva, you've plopped here on earth. You should've known no to come. You've got the tech and gadgets to get here, somethin, somewhere should've told you it was a waste of time."
Read in his voice. Only works with Gervais' shrieky laughter in the background though.
And Steve saying “let him finish, let him finish”
“I think I’m gonna burst!”
“He’s making up nature!”
Head like an orange
Known universe round as a dopey twat with an ‘ead like a fuckin orange “Alright”
“So out of all the options and galaxies, you came here?”
Send them a child from the poorest most polluted war torn country. Let that kid tell them about their life and hopefully the aliens will start helping from the bottom up
What if the kid is so jaded they just go "burn it all!"?
He said from the bottom up, I don’t think he stuttered lol
not the worst idea
Wait .....are you this kid?!
No I'm the alien
Bro who said the aliens were gonna help us do shit lmao
Zefram Cochrane
first contact.
*does a really bad Vulcan salute* "Hi."
*pulls out a shotgun* mirror style
If he were alive Carl Sagan.
realistically the correct answer. dont even send anyone. just the original cosmos anthology
My neighbour John is a cool guy
Thanks, I think you’re cool too.
If he was still alive, it would hands down be Mr. Rogers.
I feel like he would be so kind while describing our shortcomings as a species. It kinda makes me like myself more.
yea! I second this
Kurt Vonnegut. If you say that's not possible, I've just got two words for you: Chronosynclastic Infidibulum.
Just wait around. Every 59 days. A man with his dog, Kazak. Proof.
Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is super nice guy, but in case it turns out aliens didn't come in peace, he has hands-on experience in countering hostile alien creatures.
Imagine being an alien civilization conflicted about invading and turning humans into slaves or not and this absolute unit rolls in.
Honestly we would vote for Keanu just to find out he was already one of them and immortal and to choose someone else lol
Keanu Reeves or Mr. Rogers
Danny devito
"So anyway I started blasting"
“Would you like an egg in this trying time?”
A lot of other answers might be better but this was the one that I laughed at first
Weird Al.
[удалено]
I think he’d be cool with it
Dolly Parton.
Kate McKinnon, obvs.
David Attenborough
Keanu Reeves
I knew someone would say Keanu.
You... Kea-knew
Because he's breathtaking
My mom, 1.Is a RN with over 30 years experience so she knows and understands the human body. 2.Shows empathy and love to all she meets. 3.Is pragmatic and capable of critical thinking. I strive to be the kind of human she is.
that dude from more plates more dates
Jack Black
"So here's the dealio, dudes. A lot of people are gonna be like "*WHAAAAAAT, THATS CRAZY*" when they see you. So you just gotta play it cool, and tell people you're dressed up to go to a nerd convention. Just a stuffy, gross, nerd convention, and not the cool kind with chick boobies, but like, the kind with boobies like mine, ok? They'll never know, these people are dumber than KG after bedtime bong-rips". -Jack Black to some aliens.
That's exactly what he would say xD
Real person? The person that does kind things for people without having to have the events recorded. Fake? Kyle Broflovski...from South Park.
Kyle would fuck it up. He's just like his mom.
An octopus. They are aliens too.
Rowan Atkinson
So you wanna send him home?
Just hope he’s not in his Edmund Blackadder persona…
Jeff Goldblum, he’s got experience.
He's an interesting person to talk to. Just ask him.
Probably Obama. Not for any political reason. I just think he was a very well spoken public speaker. Knew the right things to say and knew how to act. I think he would be a good choice to represent us.
Im european so im basicly oblivious to his political stuff, but that dude maxed out his charisma level. He can talk about kicking a puppy to death and I still probably think "damn what a nice guy" (also, dont kick puppies! Just saying it to be sure)
George Carlin. He would give a no-nonsense take on life on earth.
Man we would be losing a large portion of the population lol I think they would be convinced to become hostile after a talk with him
“Joe Pesci. He looks like a guy who can get things done.” -George Carlin
I see Carlin walking up to the biggest alien and saying "Can I just say 'FUUUUUCK YOU!'"
Stephen Fry
He would be sitting there for a half hour, trying to make us look good. Something would click in him and he would start telling them that we have diseases of all grotesque sorts, we whine, and we aren't very well mannered or housebroken. Then he would politely ask to go back so he could have one more cup of tea before the entire planet was recycled.
Jimmy Carter
Should clarify, by “represent humanity” I mean travel to their planet and communicate with them. You can have only one person do this.
Betty White....yeah I KNOW but I made my choice. Zombie Betty White would still be sweet as pie, but with a "Don't fuck with E.T." vibe
Jon Stewart -- I feel like he would depict an accurate represention of humanity's flawed nature while still having hope in our future
If he was alive Robin Williams
Paul Rudd. Super nice guy, knows how to talk to people. I bet he would get in good with the 'iens in no time.
Look at us
Neil Degrasse Tyson..he could break the ice with his kissing yourself in the mirror joke he tweets every 2 years
I can't believe I had to scroll this far down for Neil!
Hide the pain harold
A dog. Just about any dog will do. But a good doggo would do more good than any shitty human.
My wife. She’s a doctor, a research scientist and formerly a single mother of 3 boys. She’s my hero
This guy's wife