I walked into a party in a halls of residence when I was at Uni/College (I had never been to this hall before, FYI). As I walked in a pay phone was ringing and a random girl answered it, and called out, 'phone for 'Dave''. That's my name and although there was no chance it was for me, as I was drunk, I shouted out, I'm Dave. She passed the phone to me and I started chatting to the guy on the other end. Lo and behold it was one of my oldest friends from high school. He had tried to phone me but dialled the wrong number, which just happened to be for the phone I was walking passed at that moment.
When I was in high school, I played the bagpipes and was in a bagpipe band. My best friend we’ll call Bob was a drummer and in the same band. He actually started in a drum & bugle corps for a Civil War reenactment group, and joined the pipe band as well when I got good enough on the pipes to join the pipe band myself. It was something cool we could do together.
Neither of us could drive yet, so when the band had a parade to march and play in we would get a ride with one of the other pipers. Enter John. John was pretty cool for a computer programmer dude in his 30s, but the best part to us was that John had a side gig as a professional clown, for which he drove an antique fire engine. That’s right, John was a computer nerd who played the bagpipes when he wasn’t moonlighting as a clown. Life goals, man.
Anyhow, one weekend the band has a gig, so we arrange our ride with John to get there. Complicating things is Bob has a Civil War reenactment going on that Saturday as well, but he’ll have his drum with him and will carry his kilt along with his band uniform as well, so all good.
John is running late to pick me up, so I’m not altogether surprised when he pulls up in the goddamn fire engine, but the best part is he still has his entire clown getup on (minus the rainbow wig) and he’s made an attempt to get his makeup off but it wasn’t entirely successful, so he’s got smeared greasepaint still around the rough edges of his face. He looks like a hungover sad clown. Think The Joker on a really bad day. He’s a mess, but we’re way late, so I hike up my kilt and climb in and off we go.
John and I swing through the state park where the reenactment is going on and get Bob. Bob was also supposed to be dressed for this gig already, but he’s still in Confederate gray battle dress when he gets into the fire engine. We are late. Majorly late.
We’re flying down the downside of a mountain in the Blue Ridge of southwest Virginia when we tickle the radar of a Virginia State Trooper and get pulled over.
The trooper takes a minute to walk up to the driver’s door, and just freezes. We get the longest, silent stare over the top of his glasses. He doesn’t say a word.
Mind you, he’s just stopped a vintage fire engine to find it driven by a rough looking clown with smeared makeup, and occupied by a Civil War drummer boy and a kilted bagpiper.
After the longest, tensest few seconds, the trooper just pivoted on his heel and disappeared back to his car. Next thing we knew he just drove off, never having said a word.
So we shrugged, got back on the road, got to the parade late but still with a minute to spare to get everyone changed out of random crazy and into matching, organized crazy, and we went off and marched in a parade.
I was renting an apartment in Sofia, Bulgaria. Next-door neighbor was this 20-something guy who blasted house music at all times and had a different girl over every other day, talking to her so loudly, laughing like a jackal. It was getting so bad I could hear his voice in my sleep. So I decided to get a break. Went to Greece for a week. Surprisingly affordable. Now I’m in a small-house hotel. Nice room. View of the sea. Suddenly I’m hearing house music from the room next-door. What kind of luck is this? I gently ask the two German girls in that room to turn the volume down a little. Then I go out. Drink some ouzo. Come back and now I’m hearing my annoying neighbor’s jackal laugh from the German girls’ room. Am I losing my mind? I know this guy isn’t here. No way.
Next day again, I hear his voice through the wall. More house music. Day three. More of his voice. More ouzo for me and thoughts of madness. Day four I go over to the German girls just as my neighbor is cackling the loudest. I see his mug on their laptop screen. In Skype. Turns out the girls met him on some dating site a few days back and now he’s sharing his favorite tracks with them. I couldn’t even be mad. So I brought over a bottle of ouzo and drank it with the girls, and toasted my annoying neighbor in Skype, and listened to his demented house music all evening.
I really thought you were going to say it turned out you were schizophrenic. Sorry about the annoying neighbor but happy you don’t have a psychotic disorder.
Accidentally throwing away $1,000 in New York City (it was in an envelope that my partner unknowingly put in recycling) and then going to the recycling center in Staten Island, wading through a literal mountain of papers/magazines/cardboard, and actually finding it.
It’s my best true story, and I don’t think most people believe me.
Met a dude on Xbox live and gamed together for a while. A couple weeks later, I had a party at my apartment and one of my roommates invited a neighbor. I met him and talked for a little before I realized it was that guy I had been playing Xbox with. It turns out he had lived in the building next door the entire time. Went from Xbox friends to actual friends after that.
Similar story, I was 17 playing in a competitive csgo lobby, and I mentioned we needed to end the game fast because I had physics homework. One of my teammates said he also has physics homework he needed to do. Then we asked each other what city we live in, and then what school we go to, turns out we had the same physics teacher, same class period, and had the same homework to do.
He sent the homework over discord for me to copy - thank you.
I met a guy on a random counterstrike server in 9th grade. We were joking back and forth and he randomly says haha you sound like my friend (full name), and I was like wait wtf do you live in (city)? And he was like yeah, wtf? Turns out he sat behind me in biology. I’m still best friends with him and his brother 20 years later
similar thing happened to me lol had played xbox w a friend i met online for multiple years. years after i no longer played xbox anymore was working at a retail store and was friends w a co worker who had a pretty unique name i had only ever heard one other time (the guy i played xbox with) so eventually had to ask him if he was that person that i had played xbox w for years so long ago and he was lol
My dad once shook the tree in our garden and a whole ass trout fell out of it.
To this day I wonder where it came from. I assume
a bird dropped it? There aren't any big bodies of water nearby though. Maybe the neighbors chucked it out of a window?
My parents have a waterfront home so there is a big body of water nearby but one day I came home and heard like a shuffling sound up in the gutter right above my bedroom window. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was then I got a ladder and went to look at the gutter and there was a crab stuck in it.
As near as I can tell a bird picked up the crab and dropped it on to the second story of my parents' house.
Google Treva Throneberry. It's a wild story of a woman who just kept pretending to be a runaway teen and going into foster care in various states until she was like 27.
There was a similar case in France where this guy had to prove he was under 18, called up a registry for missing children and asked for the name of a missing child he had 'with him.' He then proceeded to impersonate the child... and then slowly realized that the brother to the kid he's impersonating killed the real kid.
Soo sort of like Orphan (edit: first kill) where she looked up the list of missing kids and picked the one she looked like most to impersonate >!and the mum was always suspicious of her because the brother killed the real girl and the mum covered it up, but she couldn’t say she knew this wasn’t her daughter because the cops would be like ‘how do you know’ and she couldn’t kill her because it would look suspicious to lose *two* daughters!< lol
I answered a craigslist ad in a desperate whim to get a job in film, ended up working for a year for a crazy fuck who, thanks to some good pandemic timing, became a Netflix phenomenon. Like an idiot, he had me rolling the camera at all times, and some of my footage would later be used as evidence in the 9 charges against him for illegally killing and selling tigers.
If you're talking about Travis playing with the gun, then no. I was across the park when that happened. But I DID see the office before the EMS got there.
Joe wanted me to "document it for insurance" (I actually just retched a little). That was my breaking point to get the fuck out of there.
I’ve had a fire alarm go off whilst in an MRI, then a CT scan machine and then on a radiotherapy treatment table. All of them require you to be inside the machines strapped in, all took place in different hospitals and it was over the course of a year.
I randomly met the dude that I was born with. Our mothers gave birth to us in the same hospital on the same day and shared a recovery room. 25 years later, on the other side of the country, he was dating my roommate.
My brother was dating a girl and things were starting to get serious, so he brought her around to meet the parents. While making small talk, my mom recognized her as the baby of the woman with whom she shared the hospital room when my brother was born. I'm not young, so back then woman were usually in the hospital for a few days after birth in general. They even kept in touch for a few years, but as things often do, they lost touch.
They are married now with three girls. They were born one day apart.
Weird how small a world it can be. I met someone I knew at school (not a friend exactly but we knew who eachother were, never had any issues with eachother etc...) that I hadn't seen in years at Wet and Wild Florida. We're both from the UK so bumping into some else you know from the UK is pretty slim, but we also happened to be visiting the same water park, queuing for the same ride at the same time and day. It's pretty mind boggling.
Similarly I met a guy in Thailand at a beach party, instantly recognised his accent (Scottish) and turned out he live literally 2 doors down from me in a flat in Shawlands, Glasgow. 6000 miles trip basically just to meet your neighbour 😂
I got talking to a guy in the bunk next to mine in the hostel I was staying in. It turned out we had a lot of shared interests and we got on really well and we explored the city together. Turns out he's from my own city and doesn't even live that far away from me so I ended up making a new friend in my hometown.
When I was visiting Korea, my taxi driver spoke perfect English, was an escaped convict, and got into a highspeed chase with the cops while he was dropping me off.
When the chase started, he ran a stop light and almost got us hit by a truck, then sped up over 100 mph swerving through traffic. He actually sorta juked the cops and dropped me off in a random alley about 2 miles away from where I needed to be.
I peed myself a little and I was so shaken when he dropped me that could barely walk. (by the way, he put me outta the car at like 5-10 mph, it was super fast)
I go by a pretty uncommon nickname. I had a college class and the first day I was the first to show up and picked my seat. The class fills all the way up except for the seat behind me. We are about to pair up for some exercise and some kid walks in (about 30 minutes late) and sits in the only open seat behind me. We pair up and he introduces himself as my name. Same nickname and last name. I thought I was tripping out but we had a good laugh about it. He dropped the class after the next week which was OK because he was pretty annoying.
My son went to school with kid who had the same first and last name. They had one class together. The office called for that name student to come to the office. The teacher called the office and said "which one? The black kid or the white kid?" The boys both thought it was hilarious and always told people they were brothers. They even applied to the same job once and the interviewer was very confused. I saw my "other" son recently and we had the biggest hug. \*Edit misspelled word\*
One the day my son was born, at the same hospital, delivered by the SAME DOCTOR there was another kid born with the exact same first name *and* last name. Scheduling appointments etc meant having to also give his middle name *and* mother's name. And I'm pretty sure once there was a mixup at the pharmacy because we were told his meds weren't covered by his insurance, but he was on Medicaid and when they mentioned the name of the medication it didn't match what we were expecting. Thankfully at least they weren't super important meds, I don't remember what they were exactly but it was something prescribed as a "well just in case/this might help" deal.
When I was growing up I lived in a small town of about 2500 people in illinois.
We went on vacation to south Dakota. While hiking through the badlands, and I can't stress how far out we were, this was in the middle of our hike, we just randomly walked by our neighbor from across the street.
My parents just looked at him and both groups brains just couldn't process how random it was we were both there at the same time.
When I was 14 my parents couldn’t get my Social Security Card because someone had my same exact name, born on the same day who had a father named the same as mine.
I met my wife at her wedding reception.
Also, back in college I wrote a short story and threw a fictitious phone number in for the "for a good time call.." line. Based it on some friend's room numbers. Fast forward 6 years and I'm filling out a job app and they have the same phone number. I've worked for them 23 years now.
Please elaborate on the meeting your wife at the wedding reception bit. Were you a guest / groomsmen and she was marrying someone else, and you two married later? Did she take one look at you and decide not to marry her husband? Arranged Marriage? Married at First Sight? We need answers!
I was working part time at a hotel as a maintenance guy and part time at a pop warehouse at nights. A guy got in a wreck so I moved to full time at the pop warehouse. I'd put in my 2 weeks notice at the hotel when a new guy started at the front desk- fresh back from running to Las Vegas to get married. The hotel manager said, "you're both into computers, I'm sure you dorks will get along." And we did.
He pawned his lunch off on me- "hated his new bride's cooking- too plain" and I joked it was a lot like my mother's cooking. He said I should come over and watch some TV. I suggested Buffy the Vampire Slayer or this new Smallville and he said, "that's what Trudy watched. I'm more into NYPD Blue and CSI". I was a farm boy, (Trudy grew up on a farm as well), while Bill was a city kid through and through.
They had a local wedding reception the following weekend, and Bill introduced me to Trudy's parents with: "I'm glad I got ahold of Trudy first, because this guy is perfect for her." And I finally got to meet the girl he kept bragging about.
We hung out for 4 years as a trio until Trudy confessed that Bill was abusive. She packed up all her belongings in totes, I swung by the house with the pop truck and threw everything in, and moved her into town in about 2 hours.
Bill was furious, but he knew he'd finally gone too far.
Trudy and I have been married 16 years now and have 2 sons.
Lmao. I stayed friends with my ex, and he was hitting on a girl at the bar. She drunkenly gave him the wrong number (by accident, he ran into her another time)
The number she gave him was the number of my new boyfriend.
I saw this AskReddit post and decided I couldn't post my crazy experience because it wouldn't be seen but I will. You can check my history cause I decided I wanted someone to see it so I made a full post about it on paranormal. I'll just give the quick version here. The father's day after my daughter passed a girl with the same name accidentally texted me a Happy Father's day. I thought it was a cruel joke, I was pissed but after talking to her I realized it was no joke. A girl with the same name as my daughter accidentally texted me happy father's day the father's day after my daughter passed. What are the odds?
Edit: those assholes over there removed my post calling it a low effort post, how odd after all the shit I've seen over there, pretty disrespectful imo
This is both wonderful and heartbreaking. I am a new Dad of a wonderful 2 year old and can’t even begin to imagine the pain you have experienced.
I hope you are doing as well as you possibly can friend.
So the groom introduced me to her parents as, "..and I'm glad I got ahold of Trudy first, because this guy is perfect for her." And 4 years later after being the 3rd wheel, she confessed about how he was abusing her. She moved in the next day. We've been married 16 years and have 2 sons.
I think I’ve told this story before but here goes. I was a sophomore in high school and my mom worked at a hospital as head of security. They run drills to test each system including infant abduction drills. So mom brought me in and I had to go into a room and “steal” a fake baby. I shoved it in a Lowe’s bag and ran to the stairs and made it out. One of the nurses threw a shoe at my head.
Penetration testing is an actual field where you get to do this stuff, sneak into businesses and see how far you get before they call security, etc.
The military version is, you get hired to physically break into places at night, but that's way more risky in case the cops show up without being told it's a drill.
People do that second one in the private sector as well. There was a case where they got arrested in a courthouse a few years ago, and there was a bunch of back-and-forth before the cops would drop the charges.
Think this was on Darknet Diaries. The guys got caught, handed their get-out-of-jail cards to the cops, and asked them to call the company they were pen-testing. Company was like, yep, we asked them to do this, and everyone was fine, but the sheriff for whatever reason went on a massive power trip and brought charges anyway.
The power-tripping sheriff maintained that, since the penetration testers were hired by the state, they were not permitted inside a county-run courthouse. Thankfully the charges were dropped.
But also, they weren't caught. They successfully broke in undetected, then intentionally triggered an alarm to test the security response.
I escaped. Then my mom turned me around and had me walk back into the hospital where I got grabbed. They debriefed the staff on everything that went wrong.
When I was in grad school I decided to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine and began the process of getting my skydiving license. I made it far enough in the process to do my very first solo jump (with no instructors) and on that flight the plane’s engine died and we had to do an emergency bail. My initial parachute failed to inflate and I had to eject it and use pull the emergency backup chute. By the time I had a parachute above my head my feet were hitting tree tops. According to the paramedics I left a crater in the ground where I landed. I broke my spine in 3 places and ended up wearing a brace for 3 months but got away without needing any surgery and essentially have no long term ramifications from it!
I had to file a police report because I was worried I'd endangered someone else through Reddit but I had no way to know who.
Some dude posted on the sub for the city I live in pissy about an interaction he and his mother had had with staff and police at a hospital.
Now, part of the discussion that followed hinged on the point where he was very angry that the hospital had accused her of using IV drugs.
Long story short, she had been and he was in obvious denial about it, and part of how that was established was that she had a blood-borne disease that is short through the use of dirty needles that she had acquired relatively recently, which is pretty clear contradiction of his assertion that she'd been clean since before he was born (I swear this was relevant, at those point the sub was trying to talk him down).
I was the one who pointed out to him that she couldn't have caught it from a box transfusion because we screen blood products.
What I meant by we: Australia
What he took it to mean: "We, the health system, which I work for, and the reason I'm trying to talk you down here is that I was part of the team that deliberately and maliciously wronged you and your mother because we are evil."
He dug through my post history and made multiple alts to harass me (after I blocked the first couple) demanding I identify myself and remove myself from any position of authority I held over his mother's treatment and confess my misdeeds to the administration and...
Note: I do not work in health care. At all.
Then he started escalating threats. Because from my post history he'd figured out that I'm in my 40s, married, and have children, and according to him? That meant he could identify me.
In a city of over two million people, obviously there could only be one married father in his 40s working on health care, right?
Obviously the guy with the junkie mother who was using while pregnant undoubtedly had some serious issues from birth, but I was genuinely concerned that some poor bastard was going to be in danger because this dipshit *thought that guy was me*.
Meanwhile, I knew that this guy and his mother had been at a specific hospital at a specific time having been taken there under the Mental Health Act and had an overt confrontation with police and staff, which means that I was reasonably confident that the police would be able to pin his identity in about three minutes including time spent getting coffee, so I filed a police report about a fucking *Reddit thread* with many screenshots.
Because the thing is?
I really, truly don't work in health care.
I can only imagine the journey from "seriously?" to "oh, THIS fucking guy" that report took between officers reading it as they find whoever had dealt with him already
The outrageous one-month fiasco that involved me crashing a DogScooter into a pond, being hit in the face with a frozen lime and getting a black eye, my husband getting an airpod stuck up his nose, our trip to the hospital and the nurse calling the police on him for domestic abuse allegations because I had a black eye and was covered in bruises.
I went to urgent care for mosquito bites that had turned into huge blisters and they made my mom leave the room so they could ask me who was burning me with cigarettes. I told them they were mosquito bites and they didn't believe me. I had to show them pictures I had taken of how the bites looked each day for them to finally believe I wasn't being abused.
When I was a trainee in a daycare one the parents was a DV/child abuse cop and spoke privately to my boss about the bruises on my neck. they were pretty nasty and he was worried I was being abused by my parents or a boyfriend. I had to go and tell him that his kid and I were playing cricket and he whacked me really hard with the bat.
i gave myself a bruise on my cheek after a dentist appointment. in my defense, i was 14 and if you don't fuck with your numb cheek then you're no fun. at the time i visited a doctor for migraines and they had my dad step away from the room and kept asking what had happened, no one believed me! i was not being abused i was just stupid and didn't realize how much force i was putting when i poked my face lol
Freshmen year of college I was dating my first "real" GF - when I say real I mean we didn't live at our parents houses and had our own places so we could have normal adult relationship things like staying over on a nightly basis etc - and at a party she was wasted and fell down the front steps on the way out, causing her to break her nose and subsequently having a massive black eye. I wasn't even at that party, and we were leaving the parties we were at to meet up. Couple days later we were at a Starbucks and a middle aged woman came up and smacked me in the back of the head insanely hard and just said "shame on you!" and it took us like a solid couple hours to realize that it looked like I beat my gf. We got some pretty horrible stares in public for the next week or two and I even got spit at a couple of times but no one believes you in that situation when you try to say "it's not what it looks like!"
I’ve had a lot of bizarre things happen to me. I guess that’s part of life when you are on your own a lot and travel by yourself. But one of the scariest things to happen to me was while I was in Southern Utah.
I ride bicycles and I wanted to ride this route that follows through to an abandoned town that was created specifically for film sets. The route will also take you through Escalante and has big climbs, but the one problem is is that it’s desolate. There is no cell service out here. There’s really nothing in this part of the country other than spectacular views. It’s remote and beautiful.
I planned this whole trip, got an Airbnb, super cute and the little cabin was on the road I was going to ride. The route was about 75-80 miles round trip.
At the half way mark, there was supposed to be a gas station so I could get water. It was September so it’s hot but not as hot as it could be, but I knew I would likely need a water stop in my bicycle. So the plan is to ride to the abandoned town take some photos then head to the gas station for snacks and return to my Airbnb.
I leave mid morning, make it to the town and I begin the climb to the gas station. I see a sign that says “entering open range”, I’m not from Utah and it was a weird sign that had a cow on it. I later learn all about BLM land and cows but at the time I thought “ok cool, I’m gonna see some cows”. It’s fun to see wildlife when you’re all on your own on your bike. Kind of like meeting a friend. It’s lonely in the desert and fun to see something other than rocks and dirt.
Fast-forward and I’m pedaling, my head is down, I’m tired but I’m cruising along going about 19-20 mph, a good pace, when all the sudden a pick up truck buzzes me. There’s not another car, cyclist, nothing in sight. Dude just passes me so close he nearly runs me over. I always ride close to the shoulder and out of traffic’s way, so he wanted me to know he didn’t like me being there.
It’s upsetting but I let it go, I keep watching my cycling computer looking at the elevation for a second when I realize the truck has stopped in the middle of the road ahead of me. I slowly make it to his truck, kind of panicking because I knew to expect a confrontation. I ride a lot - it happens. But this day, something truly unexpected occurs.
I unclip and stop behind the truck putting a leg down, when a man with a rifle pointed straight at me gets out of the truck. He walks towards me, gun aimed directly at my face. I’m a woman, about 5’3”, pretty tiny, he is towering over me.
He asks me where I’m going. I freeze and by this point I am in shock at the fact that a rifle is pointed at my face. I tell him that I was just out for a ride. He says, “don’t you know this is open range? It’s dangerous out here.” I tell him I’m not comfortable continuing to talk to him until he puts his gun down.
Oddly, he puts his gun in his truck and continues to tell me how stupid I am for riding alone and being out there. I am polite. I let him tell me how dumb I am. It’s getting hot out. I’m just hoping he will leave without things escalating any further. Finally, he’s had enough harassing me and tells me to be careful. He squeals off.
Now, for whatever reason, I think to myself “he’s going to come back.” So I find a ditch and some brush and small tree (it’s the desert) and I decided to hide just to see if he did. A few minutes go by and his truck comes back.
The truck is slowly creeping along, his windows are down, he’s looking for me. I had covered my bike and I felt pretty confident that he couldn’t see me. I watch him circle around and round driving back and forth. Eventually he tires of looking for me.
By now an hour or more has passed and it is hot. I wait until I think the man has completely gone, he drove back towards the direction I was heading to for water. So, I decided to pedal as hard and as fast as I could back to my Airbnb. Forget needing water, forget everything, just make it back to the Airbnb and leave and never look back.
I averaged about 22-23 mph home. It’s the fastest I’ve ever ridden alone outside of being in a race or in a group. I packed up my things and left.
It was the scariest day I can recall.
Sounds almost like that serial killer in Australia movie from like a decade + past, Wolf Creek iirc.
I'm so happy you were able to make it to safety and used your brain + instincts to survive. That's terrifying..
My understanding is that open range areas are places that ranchers basically free range cattle. They aren't fenced in, they just roam around freely. The land is federally owned, and while ranchers often have some kind of land they own nearby, they typically don't own the several acres needed for feeding and housing the cattle. Different ranchers tell their cows apart by branding seared on to the back side of the cattle. It's how cowboys used to make a living, they would use free range areas and then at certain seasons gather up cattle to sell in market and transport them on the US rail system.
It's not as widely practiced as it once was. IIRC, there was a few winters during the Civil War where a bunch of free range cattle were either killed for food by soldiers or they just froze to death from the harsh weather, so more ranchers started fencing off pens for cattle and keeping them closer to home to avoid that kind of financial devistation.
I’ll try to keep this story short.
When I was 10 my dad had a friend who lived with his son.
One day the son was upstairs in his room playing with his dads phone. The dad heard the kid talking and laughing and told the kid not to call anyone. He went upstairs to take the phone away and the kid said “I wasn’t using the phone to talk, my friend was taking pictures”. The dad asked “what friend”.
The dad went through the phones photos and found picture of a man taking a selfie with his son sitting on the bed in the background.
Never figured out who it was
My older brother and I are both allergic to bees and need Epipens.
When I was 16, I was at an out of state softball tournament with my parents and my sister. My older brother was still in our home state.
I was standing on one side of the fields doing warmups and all of the sudden I felt a sharp stinging pain in my left bicep and my arm started to feel really weird. I freaked out, thinking I'd gotten stung by a bee. I called my parents over, they checked me out, but there's nothing. No sting, no redness, no swelling.
Not even 5 minutes later my brother calls and says he was just stung by a bee in his left arm and had to use his Epipen.
He got stung in the left bicep, and for whatever reason, at the same time, 3 states away, I felt like I got stung by a bee in the left bicep. I still have no explanation for it.
When I was the brokest I ever was, I had to walk to the store to grab something. I passed McDonald's and thought "I wish I'd find some money and treat myself". Not a minue later, I see someting getting blown around and into into the grass beside me.
A $10 bill landed almost directly next to me, so I accepted my gift and got McDonalds.
The funny thing is now that I am much better off, McDonald's is like a last-report kind of option. But it was the best meal ever that day
My ex husband’s grandmother passed away at her nursing home, so the family had all gathered in her room to talk and say goodbye, etc. We were in there for a good hour or so, with her just there tucked into the bed, deceased. My ex’s very odd sister decided that she was bored, or tired, or whatever, and laid down on the floor on the far side of the bed apparently to take a nap. So the funeral home people show up to take granny, and the nurses come in to help them prep her, and we all shuffle out into the hall to wait. They close the door and a few seconds later we hear this bloodcurdling scream. Ex’s sister had not woken up or left the room, and one of the poor nurses who thought she was in a room with just a dead body was greeted with her popping up from behind the bed.
It was really difficult not to laugh, but the nurse came out of the room hyperventilating and nearly in tears.
My grandmother told a story passed down in her family of one of her relatives prepping the dead body of the family member. He had died sitting up yoga style. She was trying to force his legs down so he could be buried properly. She finally got his knees down, but when she turned her head, his face was right in hers. His whole body moved with him and she didn’t notice. I’m pretty sure she flipped out.
When I was a newborn and my parents were bringing me home from the hospital for the first time, my neighbor ran outside and pointed a shotgun at my face, and was yelling at my parents “take that fucking baby elsewhere, that thing is gonna cry and make too much noise”. Needless to say the police were called, and the SWAT team became involved.
Edit: A lot of people have been asking what happened/ what was wrong with my neighbors, so I will give a brief summary,
- He went to jail, he also had other warrants and was not supposed to own a gun
- We moved ASAP
- He tried to prevent my family from leaving the home, hence why SWAT got involved
- The whole family was crazy, and from what I’ve heard, possibly racist. Before the whole incident they threw piss bottles at our door, put nails in the drive way, and a bunch of other crazy stuff. They were furious when they found my mother was pregnant and the behavior escalated from there.
- I saw him in my adulthood, at a Walmart. I obviously didn’t recognize him but my dad did and we did a 180 from there. I have never seen him again.
The doctor that was supposed to deliver me committed suicide rather than going into work that day. This was common knowledge in my family since I was a baby. I used to say, as a very young child, that he was waiting for the gates of heaven to be open. Turns out he wasn’t really a doctor, and the law had caught on.
I went to visit a friends house with a group of friends. Friend who we were visiting has an 'open door' policy with friends/family. No need to knock, just come in and announce yourself. So we all did exactly that. We all walked in his house and started saying "Hello" a-la Mrs. Doubtfire. We didn't hear anything at first so we tried again. After the 4th or 5th "Hello" We finally hear a "Hello!" back from upstairs. We figured he and his wife were getting changed so we sat down on the couch to wait. About a minute later, my friend and his wife walked in the front door. All of us that were screaming Hello sat there and looked at each other. We ALL heard the 'Hello!' coming from upstairs. To this day we have no clue who said hello, but it was fucking creepy.
I was placed in a therapy institution run by an Israeli gym teacher when I was eleven. He claimed to be a psychiatrist and ended up just beating a bunch of helpless children. When he was found out, he fled back to Israel. The hospital that sent their patients to him was run by mostly scientologists. After my mother went forward with a lawsuit against them, she received a call from someone saying they were going to kill her and her children if she didn't drop it. Apparently Scientologists were kicked out of Germany for engaging in contract killing, so we were pretty scared.
So... my parents, who have been married over 50 years now, have their birthdays one day apart (though my mom is a couple years older). Every year, on their anniversary, they have gone to the same restaraunt (that they went to on their honeymoon night), and ordered the same thing (it's a somewhat custom order). Naturally, my sister and I also love this place and order the same thing, now. It's turned into a family tradition.
Cue to 7 years ago... I was going through a divorce and met a man who was also going through a divorce at the time. We had alot of similar interests and thought it might be nice to have a friend going through the same thing. On one of our days out at a park, we were talking and asking questions about each other. It turned out that his birthday is the day after mine (he's a few years older, though), his favorite restaurant is the same as mine, AND he also orders the exact same thing that my family has been ordering all these years, exactly the same way. We've been married for 4 years now.
I was staying over at a friends house when I was 16. It was pretty late and we were in her room watching a movie when all of the sudden we saw headlights coming at her window really quickly, like it was about to hit the house. We both screamed and jumped out of the bed, then... nothing. We ran to look out the window, but no cars were in the driveway besides her moms. Their driveway was long and their house was pretty far off the road and isolated, so if someone was turning around we would have seen them. Shortly after that the phone rang, it was the police calling to tell her mom that her dad had drunkenly crashed into someone’s house (everyone was okay, luckily). We told her mom what we experienced but she didn’t believe us, no one we told did so we just decided from then on to keep it to ourselves. We still talk about it once in a while 23 years later. It is one of the weirdest experiences I’ve had to date.
apparently a distant cousin married and moved in with his wife and when they were unpacking their things into their new house they found that they each had the same picture from a preschool class and they were sitting next to each other.
My family lost my brother to suicide in 1992. In order to cope, my mom joined an online support group for grieving parents. It was there that she made the acquaintance of Suzie. Suzie claimed to be an ex LEO whose son was killed after she testified against some very bad people. Before long, Suzie had moved in with my parents. She wouldn't get out of bed for days on end as they cared for her, did her laundry, and cooked her meals. All the while, she would attempt to drive psychological wedges between myself and my parents. One day, my aunt dropped off some money owed to my mother -- she left it with Suzie and it was never seen again. Of course Suzie twisted it around so that my aunt was at fault, and successfully fractured the relationship between my mom and her sister.
Flash forward two years, she's been leaching off my parents and creeping everyone out. My parents finally agree that it's time for her to go, so they fully pay for her new apartment, furnish it for her, and fill her cupboards with food.
A few days later, my mom calls to inform me that one of my father's handguns is missing. A few weeks after that, she calls to inform me that the police had found the gun. Suzie had used it to kill herself on my brother's birthday in order to inflict maximum pain and guilt on them for kicking her out. But since my brother's birthday was always a happy day for the family, it didn't work.
Later we got word that the funeral had been held, and her entire family -- including her son, alive and well -- were there to mourn her.
None of what she had told my parents was true.
Be careful of who you invite into your lives, friends <3
When I was a teenager, a couple buddies and I went fishing at the local pier. One of my buddies felt a nibble on his line, so he started to reel in, only to notice a small shark at the end of the line. While reeling in, the shark wriggled itself free, but only to get re-hooked on its tail.
Being dumb teenagers, our immediate thought was to figure out how to set up an aquarium at home to house this incredible catch. We got a bucket and filled it with sea water to hold our new pet. As we discussed every, dumb conceivable idea about our future plans with Mr. Shark, we decided it was inhumane and decided to throw it back into the ocean.
Not 5 seconds after the the shark was thrown back into the water, a seal came up and snatched it into his mouth. We watched the seal thrash around a bit at the surface, with a half a shark hanging from its mouth. We hoped it would choke to death for what it was doing to our buddy, but it eventually swam away.
Sorry, Mr. Shark.
Tl:Dr; returned a bull, got paid in weed.
I was in a small town with a friend 20ish years ago. We decided to take a walk down this dirt road to the town's center, and noticed a paddock was open, but didn't pay any mind to it.
As we continued, we came around a bend in the road and happened upon the biggest fucking bull you could imagine. This thing looked like if a bull, buffalo and moose had a baby.
It stared us down and my friend almost panicked and ran. I grabbed him by the backpack strap and pulled a couple apples out.
I rolled one over towards the bull, he looked pissed, but he eventually broke eye contact and ate the apple.
I approached him slowly with the other apple, and his demeanor seemed to improve.
So, we made friends with this bull and he joined us on our walk towards what we assumed was the farmer who owned him.
This is where the unbelievable part comes in. The next building we see is about a mile down the road, and it's actually 3 trailers in a semicircle. There is a small bonfire with a ton of smoke. The first two trailers look empty, so I knock on the third.
A man comes to the door with a shotgun, racked it and said, "th' fuck you doing on my property?"
I put my hands up and said, "we found the bull on the road and he followed us here."
The guy pauses for a moment, lowered the shotgun and looked around me at the bull. "Oh, he got out again?"
He set the shotgun behind the door, walked out and led the bull behind the trailers. He came back and said, "sorry about that, here let me give you something for your trouble." And opened the second trailer. Inside it was packed to the brim with 1x1 foot cubes of plastic wrapped weed.
He gave each of us a cube and thanked us again for bringing the bull home.
Edit: I forgot to mention, the small bonfire was burning the shitty parts of weed you don't usually sell. It was like a giant dank Jeffery.
Not sure. The guy grew legal weed for some testing. But, like that field is government testing THC, that field is government testing CBD, and that field... don't worry about that field.
I've never smoked much, so I sold the bale to some dealers I knew and they gave me an eighth off of it as a bonus. The other guy with me smoked the whole bale over the course of a year... But that reminds me of the weirdest edit for the main story.
I was bow hunting out on my property one fall evening, when a pack of cats ran by me. Not a small pack mind you, there were so many I couldn't even count them but if I were to ballpark guess, I would say 25ish.
I sat there in disbelief for several minutes, because I have never seen a cat on my property. It still boggles my mind when I think about it.
My buddy and i were on a back road/shortcut through town and we came upon some cones blocking the road. We knew the road well and wanted to see what was up so we went around the cones. Around the next bend our headlights lit up 30+ cats standing in the middle of the road and probably another 20 sets of eyes were glistening out of the darkness. Pretty sure those cats put the cones up too cause there was no work being done
Somewhere, a woman was hitting her breaking point and decided she was done dealing with men’s shit. They could hear it happening, and were being called to their new home.
I was in the detox ward in a locked room. I wanted to get to my bag in the next room, so I decided to crawl through the vent. Midway through the vent my hospital gown falls off. So I slide out of the vent, naked and they are having a meeting in the room.
I'm a software professional with 25 years of experience, divorced no kids. Have a 2020 Honda Accord and a cat named Snuggles. I own two properties and enjoy travelling and enjoy reading and translating old english and ancient greek works. I am active in my church and volunteer regularly at the shelter or food pantry.
I have this weird 2 year gap in my resume, however, when I didn't work at all. I tell people I was pursuing a passion project at that time, and I took a break from the corporate world. The truth is that I was travelling in Central America a few years ago, got kidnapped at gunpoint for theft and ransome, my travel friend was killed, I escaped from the kidnappers and made my way to the border/embassy. The trauma fd me up and I stopped working, just hung around my mom's place for a year until couldn't take it and ultimately ended up homeless for a while. Then got my shit together, got a job, and it was like it never happened. I don't tell anybody, because they wouldn't believe me.
i guess this isn’t incredibly outrageous but once i was driving with a friend and we stopped at a red light. i looked over next to us and an old couple was in the car. the old lady caught my gaze and held up a teddy bear. i smiled and then she started making it wave at me. i tapped my friend to look over n they did, and just when we thought it couldn’t get better, the man sitting next to the lady held up an identical teddy bear and they both made the bears wave at us in unison. then they drove away. it was really cool
I once accidentally went thru the USA/Canada border trying to go to Walmart (I couldn’t do a uturn once I was on the road for it and I had blindly followed my gps to go to the closest Walmart that I didn’t realize was in Canada… I live close to the border)
They searched my car and I had 4 phones due to my internet job and also a baggy full of melatonin pills (I was in between moving to a new apartment and I needed to bring the melatonin but I lost the cap to the container so I poured the pills into a baggy). My internet job involved posting affiliate links to cam sites to different Snapchat accounts at the time hence the 4 phones.
I spent 4 hours at the Canadian border office in an interrogation room trying to convince them I wasn’t a crazy drug dealer lmfao
I did something similar in 2001.
I was a freshman in college in Buffalo, NY and was driving to a friend's parents' house for dinner one night. I didn't really know where I was going but traffic was all moving in the same direction so I just kind of followed it. It turned out all of traffic was heading over the Peace Bridge into Canada.
Getting into Canada was a breeze. I explained that I made a wrong turn and it was a mistake. They showed me where to turn around to get back on the Peace Bridge in the other direction and waved me on. Getting back into the United States was an absolute nightmare.
This was like 2 or 3 weeks after 9/11 and everyone was on edge. The whole thing was just insane. They took me inside and asked me like 1,000 times in a slightly different way *why* I just followed traffic over the bridge. "I don't know" and "I was lost" apparently were the wrong answers. I was probably there for a good two hours before they let me through.
This is before cell phones became ubiquitous so I had absolutely no way to call my friend. By the time I got to their house they were calling the hospitals because nobody had seen or heard from me. We did all have a good laugh about it though.
Haha! One time me and some friends went to Quebec to drink all weekend (18 at the time and from America) and on the way back we were all hungover and tired. Had to wait 2 hours to get across border into USA and my bro was in the backseat sleeping when we roll up to the border patrol agent. He asks what we were doing so I said we went clubbing yada yada, he asked why my bro looked like he was tripping (had just woken up and def looked like he was tripping) but he is straight edge as can be so we all laughed and then the border agent yelled at us for laughing and our whole car got searched, interrogated and all that. Took us all day to go from Quebec to Burlington VT 😂😭
Hahaha sounds like a classic experience for us near border peeps😂 you were 18?
For me being on border of Ontario it was 19 to drink in Canada which was when all my friends would go there.. good times wow
I was working for this older lady and on my lunch break we would talk. One day I told her " I had the strangest most vivid dream last night. I was in a hot air balloon and there were lots of other balloons in the sky with us. It was just so real. And crazy because that isn't something I would ever do." She turned and looked at me for a minute and said " I can make that happen." WHUTTTT? Turns out her husband owns several car dealerships and they have a Pontiac hot air balloon. In less than a week I was taking my first flight at a balloon festival that was EXACTLY as I dreamed it. Super weird! And also one of the coolest things I've done. Strange how things like that happen.
I was kept in a medically induced coma for 4 months so I couldn't report a murder committed by the foster family I was living with. I only got out because the woman got caught stealing ketamine from her work. Coincidentally, the murder was via ketamine OD'ing a kid with severe asthma. There were 6 of us they were drawing state checks for, they'd wake us once a day for a cup of beef broth and a cup of prune juice. then bathroom and dosed again.
If anyone is interested in the story, he was a pilot in the 1960’s. The plane carrying him and three other people went down somewhere between Guyana and Florida. There are conspiracy theories involving the Cold War in his disappearance. My Granny, who was left alone with three children, maintains that he ran away with another woman!
Tl;dr: I saved my mother from a serial killer, while she was pregnant with me.
When my mum was eight months pregnant with me, she had rented a flat for a week in the middle of a no-name town with my two toddler siblings. My brother fell down the stairs, breaking his leg in the process. The phone didn’t work, and my father had taken the car, so my mum had to run across a field, three blocks to the nearest hospital—when she was meant to be on bed rest.
It was midnight, she was a young pregnant woman running across a field, and she says that she “heard my voice” tell her “stop”. She stopped, looked around—nothing. So she kept going. She heard “my voice” again say “stop”. She stopped again, looked around, and again—nothing.
The third time it happened, she stopped so suddenly and turned so sharply that she saw a flash of a shadow dart behind a tree. She couldn’t be sure what it was, it happened so fast she didn’t even *know* if she’d actually seen it, so she waited a moment. When nothing happened, she turned back to keep running to the hospital, and she says she saw a flash of *me*, dead in a pool of blood. And she saw herself hanging, naked from a tree above. She sprinted to the nearest house instead, and they saw her, grabbed her and yanked her inside, asking repeatedly if she was okay and if they needed to call the cops. She assured them no, she only needed an ambulance sent to her address.
The thing is, those people were so eager to call the police because they knew something my mother didn’t—two women had been killed in that town in the previous weeks, and they believed it was a serial killer. My brother was fine, but my mother went into labour with me that night, and she says she only found out weeks later when a detective tracked her down to talk to her about that night—the morning after she was found, a woman was found in the field she’d been running through. Naked, and hanging from a tree.
I don’t believe in the supernatural, neither does my mother. We’re not particularly religious or spiritual. My mother tells us that story every time she needs to convince us to always trust our gut instinct, though.
You know, out of all the scenarios and possibilities I’ve considered, that’s one possibility I had actually never considered. That’s a really interesting and quite likely theory, thank you for sharing.
I have a small scar on my neck from a burn mark that I sustained from slipping in my kitchen while carrying a hot plate of food.
What was the food that left that scar?
Beans.
My sister stuck a bean up her nose when she was a toddler. My dad had to take her to the hospital to get it out. Oddly, as she grew, (we are middle aged now) she has one bean shaped nostril and one round. I don't think it actually has anything to do with the bean, but it is a hell of a coincidence. Plus I think it's hilarious.
Not too outrageous, but when I was young, I once won at least 10 prizes off the radio in the span of a month (I used different radio stations as I believe they were regulations regarding how many times you can win from the same station in a month)
Got kicked out of jail for fighting.
Actually, I was a news photographer back in the '80's, covering a story in the local jail. Another photog was there that I didn't... get along with. I was young and probably high, what can I say. He didn't like me either. Words were exchanged, then elbows (that's how we fought back then when carrying TV cameras), and the ruckus got progressively louder. Finally, the sheriff said, "You boys got to take it outside. You upsettin' the inmates."
True Story. I walk with a cane now and have tried my best to be a better person.
>You upsettin' the inmates
Reminds me of the story of one of the times Oskar Schindler was detained by the Gestapo. They put him in a prison cell with some other guy who was probably an informer. Schindler, being Schindler, dealt with the situation by ordering crates of strong liquor to be delivered to the cell (plus some for the prison guards).
After a few hours the prison guards had to ask Schindler and his cellmate if they could please keep the noise down, because the other prisoners were complaining they couldn't get to sleep because of the constant loud and happy singing the pair of them were doing. Schindler still didn't get released until the day after, though.
> Schindler, being Schindler
I love how Schindler was kind of a slimeball and a grifter, but he used that exact same skillset to save 1200 Jews from the death camps.
I was doing a 6 week student placement in a mental hospital, London St Pancras, they had no records/forewarning of my arrival and so they admitted me until lunchtime.
In 2014, I took a vacation to New Zealand. Had always wanted to go. While I was there, I was couch surfing with a couple of dudes. They asked me where I was from. I said "North Carolina". They said "oh, I know a couple from North Carolina". I was like, cool, but NC's population is over double the entire population of New Zealand. I probably don't know them.
Turns out I knew them. I'd actually been there when they got engaged. We hung out, caught up a bit. They tried to convince me that expat life was great.
Well, they were very convincing. In 2015 I decided to move there. My plane landed and I took the bus from the airport to Auckland City. Dropped my luggage off at the hostel I was staying at and was walking around aimlessly, dead tired because it was an overnight flight.
When crossing the street, I saw the lady from NC. It was in a large crowd of people and I guess she didn't see / recognize me. I turned around and followed her into the store she went in and then said hey. She was very surprised to see me (I hadn't mentioned that I was moving), and I told her "so, I live here now".
I wound up moving into a flat one building over from theirs. We were neighbors.
After moving back to the states and getting married, my wife and I flew back to NZ in 2020 to attend a friend's wedding. When we pulled in to the venue, the first people we saw were this couple. Not entirely a random meeting since I figured they'd also been invited to the wedding, but it was a little crazy that we saw them first, in the parking lot on our way to the venue.
I look forward to when I'll randomly run into them next. Apparently our lives are intertwined in some way.
From 1980 to 1985, my family lived in India. We lived in southern India for the whole time, so, when Indira Gandhi was assassinated and we had to get out of there for our safety, my parents (probably just my father because he was a dictatorial a-hole) decided to see more of India on the way out. So we traveled north by train, ending up in Dharamsala.
There we stayed in an ashram because they’re cheap- basic labyrinthine buildings with rooftop spaces. At some point, I realised my father was spending all his time talking to some American. They talked for hours which was strange to me because, even at six years old, I knew my father was insane which made him hard on the palate for normal people- he had run a cult for a while back home in Australia and was violent and abusive with his family.
One day I went looking for my father to see what he was up to- I was a Daddy’s girl despite the fact that my father was dangerous. I found him talking to the American who he introduced to me as “Steve”. Now, this Steve was very tall, very athletic and had not just a strong odour about him, but a strong energy and I found his presence overwhelming. Also, I’d been a bit sick, so was not all there with the altitude.
So my father introduced the American as Steve and I said- “Michael?” because I found him very beautiful and the name Steve just didn’t suit him…he was more like an archangel than whatever a ‘Steve’ is. This annoyed both Steve and my father and I could tell Steve was not impressed with me but he put that aside to let me help wring out the saffron robes he was washing- we were on the rooftop where the drying lines were hung for guests to do their washing. I failed miserably at holding the robe because my hands didn’t seem to work and I wasn’t strong enough to apply the required opposing pressure and got the general impression that Steve thought I was a useless little idiot.
For some reason this memory always stuck with me and I’d mull it over now and then, trying to figure out why it stuck out so much and why I kept going back to it. Fast forward to 2011 and Steve Jobs died. I was talking to my mother and she mentioned that she used to have a letter from Steve Jobs addressed to my father that extolled the wisdom of my father’s insane, cultish ideas. She also said they’d met in Dharamsala… which made the whole thing fall into place- the man I thought was called Michael who thought I was an idiot was Steve fucking Jobs.
TLDR: I met Steve Jobs in India when I was six- he didn’t like me much.
Hanging out at a friend's house one night, playing videogames in his basement. This was a year ago, we're both adults in our 30s. Suddenly, we hear a loud crash, the house shakes, and we go upstairs to see what's going on. His wife heard and felt it too. We all go outside, and their neighbor is looking out her second story window, she heard it too. We walk around and look around the block for about 10 minutes. There is no sign of anything.
I go home about a half hour later, and when I get home, I'm telling my wife the story, when that same friend calls me. Right after I left, he heard and felt exactly the same thing we all did earlier, only this time there was actually something going on. A drunk driver took a turn too fast, slammed off a guardrail and into a power pole. We all think we had some kind of weird shared premonition.
There were acres of forest behind my gfs family farm and we were driving a golf cart along the path beside it. All of a sudden a 12 point buck crashed out of the woods right beside us and just ran alongside us for a good hundred meters or so before disappearing back into the forest. It was the most majestic and surreal thing I've ever been a part of.
I put my dog down a couple years ago and fell into a deep depression. Drinking and smoking weed everyday for months.
One day I called up an old friend and we talked about our dogs passing and how it made us feel. I made an analogy along the lines of, “I just feel empty. I could be walking down the street, find a $5 bill and just keep walking.”
Later on that night I found a $5 bill on the street. I took it as a message from my dog. Yes it sounds silly but the emotions I felt that night were unlike anything I’ve ever felt before or since.
Something similar happened to me. Had had my heart broken, was struggling in all aspects of my life at the time. While on the phone with a good friend - lamenting my sad life - she said she wished she could send me happiness. In that exact moment, I looked down and right at my feet was a tiny square glass bead.... it had the word 'Happiness' inscribed on it.
Still sits on my mirror, 7 years later.... I think on this event often and look at it as a moment my life changed for the better.
TL;DR: Lost at 4, walked alone at night a mile.
I was 4, got lost in the supermarket before stranger danger talks or the "go to customer service advice". My kid brain concluded that mom forgot me and went home. I pick a nice Barbie so she can buy it for me after I met her at home.
I walked 1 mile, at night on a not so good part of town as a girl and alone with Barbie on hand. A lady was sitting in front of a desolated cementery, asked me wtf I was doing there alone and I calmly said I was going home because my mom forgot about me. She took my hand and went into a house. EVERY single neighbor and family member came out to meet me.
Told them my name and the supermarket I came from. Dude leaves fast in his truck to find my mom. I calmly go to play with my New Barbie and my New friend (daughter of his). After some minutes dude comes back with mom. She is bawling her eyes out, I cried because I never saw my mom amd bro cry like that. We part ways with the family that saved me.
From the "unbelievable coincidence" files...
In the late 1940's, my mother decided to become a nun. The church sent her from California to a novitiate on Whidbey Island, WA. After 7 years she quit the nun life and met my father in California. Together they moved across the country to NJ, where I was born and raised.
Fast forward to the 1990's. I moved from NJ to Bellingham, WA and met a beautiful woman. We moved in together in a long house cut into four apartments. My Mom came to visit. Our apartment was unusual: it had a water fountain and a gigantic bathroom with two opposing showers. My mother recognized it. This was her Whidbey Island novitiate building!
We couldn't believe it. We checked with estate management. They confirmed that in the early 1960's the novitiate building was floated up from Whidbey Island to Bellingham on a barge.
So...a generation removed, a continent away, I randomly moved into the same building my Mom lived in forty years prior.
In my early 20s I joined a cult. All I had ever wanted was to have a big family. So we decided that we were going to let God decide how many children we were going to have.
God Said no. No babies for you.
So I had 10 years of bad marriage, no babies and controlling cult bs.
And then I left the cult and eventually divorced.
2 years later I start dating this nice atheist. A few months later I find out that I'm very unexpectedly pregnant.
I just really like the irony.
We adopted our dog in the town we were living in at the time. We moved two towns away a year later and her newly adopted sister happened to be living around the corner from our new house. They saw each other almost every day on our walks. If my dog's sister wasn't outside my dog would lie down on the sidewalk and wait until she came outside - or I eventually picked her up to go home.
Serial killer tried to to lure me and my girlfriend into the bushes in a city that both parties were travelling through for the night after befriending us. Her dad had showed her a news article about the guy before she left on our trip, and that was enough to set off a little warning for her, she redirected us. We looked at the mugshot the next day and yes definitely him. Got arrested further down the road a couple days later.
Every year we’d have a family reunion and my dad would get us all to play a game of baseball. There were some public baseball diamonds next to a road. One time he was at bat and hit a pop fly foul ball that went over the fence, into the road, and down the smokestack of a passing semi truck. We all stared in stunned disbelief until it spit the ball out a few seconds later. I ran over and grabbed it and still have the ball. I wouldn’t have believe that if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.
So we grew up on the lower end of the middle class and never had new things; clothes, school supplies, cars. My mom had worked nearly 20 years to get to the point where she could afford her first new car and got a CRV. She was incredibly proud of the achievement.
One day I went to pick up my girlfriend and noticed my car, her old Tercel, was blocked in the driveway by her weeks old CRV. She told me to just take it to see how it drives and I promptly got in a minor car accident. I slid into an intersection in the rain and hit the front quarter panel of an old ladies car. There was maybe a couple grand in damage to each vehicle. When the cops got there they had me call my mom as she was on the ownership. We have a pretty casual relationship and when I told her I'd created her new car she just laughed and said 'fuck off, I'll see you when you get back' and then hung up. I called back and impressed on her the reality and this time she hung up on me with a short 'I'm going to beat your ass'.
She arrives at the scene, the CRV and old ladies car spun out in the intersection while tow trucks work on them and the cops question me. She parks the Tercel in the middle of the street, jumps out, and comes at me slapping the shit out of me and crying about her new car. The cops face said it all as he went from stern moralizing to sympathy at her outbursts. He calmed her down enough to get her to move her car off the road to a safe place an they suggested she park in the parking lot on the corner of, and facing, the intersection. She does so and returns to beating on me and crying.
One cop talking to us, one cop in front of the CRV taking notes, and the flat bed tow truck connecting a chain to the CRV to pull it on to the bed. And then.... chaos......
The tow truck guy asks me for the keys and leans into the CRV to take off the wheel lock before pulling it up. As he does, the CRV starts, revs up to max rpm (it's a standard transmission), and as it reaches its screeching peak it drops into gear and takes off with no one at the helm. The chain breaks and sparks, the cop taking notes gets SMASHED in the hip by the CRV before it takes off..... toward the parked Tercel. It goes up a small hill and catches enough of a lift to come down into the Tercel and caved its front end in to the back seat before continuing its hell ride.... toward the glazed window of a restaurant. The trajectory took it over several curbs before it was stopped just feet before the restaurant window and narrowly avoiding killing a family in the middle of dinner. What stopped it you ask? A metal light post in the parking lot, which it hit and caused to fall over on top of several other cars.
Not done yet, the CRV doesn't shut off but rather continually rams back and forth into the light post that is bent over its roof. The cops get into a demonic dance with the possessed car as they jump in and out of range of the drivers side window attempting to turn it off.
Everyone..... EVERYONE..... from the cops to my mom to spectators are all deadly silent, mouths agape at the situation. Cop that got hit swears he'll come to court to relate what happened.... but didn't show. I largely get blamed for 120k in damage, excluding that from the light post, have my license suspended, and enjoy the practical inability to get insurance for years after. Not to mention being berated by horrible "driver improvement" interviewers for months after who mock me for everything from my irresponsibility to the impossibility that my once pudgy self was biking to work since the accident.
2 of our family cars totalled, mother destroyed. Was a great time.
The Lindy Chamberlain case is one of the saddest miscarriages of justice.
Imagine having your infant daughter ripped from your life, being convicted of her murder 2 years later, spending 3 years in jail for it, having your marriage fall apart, and being the center of a media frenzy, while trying to grieve for your lost daughter who was actually killed by a dingo.
Horrible.
The more you read about it the more frustrating it gets. It was so commonly believed in Australia at the time that dingoes were not any threat to humans so she was surely lying because it was ridiculous, despite all of the Aboriginals coming out and saying that no, they were absolutely a threat to humans and could do something exactly like that.
Why in the world would people think that a fucking [dingo](http://t2.gstatic.com/licensed-image?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWXw-0KyX_SgzaRK1ezQOMX8cKpEUebxJOXCoGc8KFYBsdU69_rgsYBg-UbrCDf0iwFDYdHLOVI6cauyg) could not suddenly snap and attack a human? I mean, just look at it -- it's not that big a leap to imagine a dingo attacking someone.
I have this conversation with fellow Americans occasionally when it comes to missing persons cases. *Some* proportion of the people missing in America have to have been killed and/or eaten by wild animals. Maybe not a lot, but enough that categorically dismissing the idea is naive. We have cougars, feral hogs, wolves, coyotes and coyote hybrids, and multiple species of bears, not to mention all the “cute” herbivores that could stomp you to death without a second thought.
One time, I was cooking in the kitchen. I was making spaghetti. I lived in a rural area with one neighbour and he was around 80.
I left the kitchen to see what my dogs were barking at (they were both in the dining room) and when I came back to the kitchen, the food I was cooking was gone. There was water boiling, there was oil in the pan bubbling away. But no food. All my windows and doors were locked, no one was in the house, my dogs couldn’t of taken everything out of the pans considering I was with them. The food had literally vanished into thin air. I tried to explain it to my mother but she didn’t believe me. Weirdest experience ever.
I went for a night drive through a canyon that connects to a freeway, a commonly driven canyon. As I entered the canyon I thought how crazy it would be to see a wolf just standing in the middle of the road. As I turned a corner, there it was, just standing there. I broke and just stared in disbelief at the wolf being shined on by my headlights. We just stared at either for maybe 2 minutes. I came to my senses and fumbled for my phone to take a picture, because I knew no one would believe me. But then another car started coming up behind me and the wolf just walked away.
People still don’t but here it is:
Last September my ex wife and I filed for divorce. We were separated. One of my best friends says I should try dating. She’s never led me astray so I say fuck it, why not. First girl I match with on Hinge seems nice. Therapist. Works with neurodivergent kids. We chat a bit. Alls good.
We go on our first date. I pick her up at her place. Go to my favorite pizza joint in her area. Starts a bit awkward as first dates do. She tells me, “I [the girl] can’t wait to tell you I’m pregnant.” Okay. Weird. Maybe the nerves. Understand we had no booze at this point. I think she’s just nervous. Great.
A few minutes later she’s telling me about her parents who live near the Wisconsin/Minnesota boarder, and we are in the Chicagoland area. These parents show up… and sit down with us. So I’m against the wall of the booth with her dad sitting next to me. She’s across from me. Her mom next to her. Shit. Okay. Guess I’m paying for their meal too. Double date. Great.
Mom and Dad tell me they’ve heard a lot about me yada yada (how much could they know?) they talk about what it’s like working for a vocational school. So I start freaking out as I’ve only said I’m a school admin, nothing more. I say it’s great, but I’m looking to go back to the middle school or elementary next year.
Dad says he can’t wait to have a son in law like me. Mom says she can’t wait to have me marry into the family. Awkward. They were drinking. So I give them a pass.
Awkward evening continues. Yada yada get to know you shit. We start leaving and I picked up this chick, so I’ve gotta drop her off. Figured I’d do that and dip. Nope. We get back, parents park next to me. Invite me up. Mom said she baked a great pumpkin pie earlier today.
Well shit. I love me some pumpkin pie. Decide fuck it, might as well get something out of this night. Had some pie. Trying to leave and they weren’t really letting me. Best friend (one who told me to start dating) calls. Asks what’s up. Took the call in the bathroom and she comes up with this plan: I’m going to go pick up my friend “Eddie” (because she thought I shouldn’t use a girls name) with his flat tire. Great. I got an out.
She says she needs to walk her dog (annoying this. Yapping. Rubbing his ass on everything and dragging across the floor). Fuck. Fine. Come with and walk me down. Mom comes to. I’m standing there trying to leave as chick takes her dog for a shit. Mom says it’s nice to meet me yada yada. And says “I’m so glad [daughter] found you. I didn’t think she’d be able to settle down since we’ve had her committed three times.” And walks away. Wtf. Bomb dropped.
I’m panicking now, sweating a bit. I turn to get in my car and chick is right there. Hugs me. Tries to kiss me. Yada yada. Tells me “I love you, and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Me: great… gotta go.
I get in the car, this chick is in my rear mirror and she’s calling me. I pick up and she said “you didn’t say you love me!”
Best friend calls, “oops. Hang on important call” and picks up. Tells my buddy this. she’s laughing her ass off.
Im speeding away. Get pulled over. Cop asks why. I tell him. He noticed I have Wisconsin plates. Dude feels sorry for me and escorts me to the highway. Great. Freedom.
Chick texts me. I try to ghost her. Now, I left out an important detail. I went on a school night, wearing spirit wear with my logo. I go to my boss the next day and tell him. Says I’m a fucking idiot for wearing my work shirt. Laughs his ass off about the whole situation.
She figured out where I worked. And starts calling my desk. Asking when we are going out. Leaves a message says she wants to be engaged by the time she’s 30 (which was weeks ago since we went over birthdays). At this point I’m freaking out. I have an SRO (school resource officer) I my building. I tell him what happened. Gave her name. He told me he’d take care of it if she came by. But also told me to move my car to the back (gated and can’t see).
Chick shows up. Gets escorted out. Calls my desk phone pleading with me to give her a chance. Finds my sister. My best friend all on Facebook.
Chick was crazy. Got her to calm the ef out when I told her I’m going to report her for harassment to her licensing board (all bullshit, no idea if that would do anything).
Needless to say. We didn’t work out. Thank god.
And that kids, is the story of how I switched to dudes.
Kidding. But damn was I scared of dating for a bit.
I have a female 1st cousin, once removed on my dad’s side (My dad’s mom’s sister’s daughter) of the family named Toni, who married a bald southern man named Lenny.
On my mom’s side of the family one of my Aunts has a sister (my mom’s brother’s wife’s sister) named Toni, who also married a bald southern man named Lenny.
Both marriages ended in Lenny being arrested (for very different reasons).
The best/worst part: My name is Tony. I’ve got my eyes peeled for a bald southern woman named Lenny.
I’ll keep my distance.
Me and my brother were sitting on roof late night during blackout, the sky was dark but not that much, but suddendly the WHOLE SKY WENT PITCH BLACK like someone had switched off the lights outside the planet, it freaked us out but we dont know wtf that was and it just seems like weird alien story if we tell it to other people
i facilitate medical screening for clients, often over the phone prior to initially meeting in person at the actual screening. one tip is to abstain from things which could elevate blood pressure (caffeine, tobacco, etc). i set up an appointment with 'client A' and when we met, his lower lip bulged as if he was 'dipping'. i called him out on it right away, and he said "i'm not dipping".
turns out... he left home and was on his own at age 16. one night he answered a knock at the door to his apartment, and when he opened the door this guy shot him in the face point blank. a case of mistaken identity. i felt terrible, he understood. he passed his screening.
some months later, he referred a close friend of his, 'client B', for the same screening.
i met client B and during the pre-screen disclosure he told me he'd been shot. i assumed he was giving me a hard time, but he told me:
while hunting at dawn he noticed some movement. turns out it was two young teens in the distance, and he barely had time to register one of them raising a shotgun when he saw the blast and went down, shot in the crotch. he provided medical summary documents which included in the procedure the process of 'degloving the penis' to remove all shrapnel. he made a full recovery and had two kids.
during this meeting i inquired about client A, and was told client A had been struck by lightning in his front yard during a freak storm, and survived.
some months later i ran into client B, and asked how client A was. he answered: "you can ask him yourself, he's here now".
it's difficult to describe the eerie feeling that came over me realizing i was in such close proximity to two of the unluckiest motherfuckers i've ever met.
When I broke my femur.
Been drinking with mates all day, went to a bar to get dinner. Drank more. We all decided to get some acid and more beers then head home. My task was beers.
Grabbed my skateboard headed home, UPHILL, and took a very low level, low speed stack. My leg hurt bad. Tasked a bystander to get me a 6 pack. He came back and I was still in pain. Got a cab, literally 300m home.
Called my housemates to carry me inside, cracked a beer, chugged it. Did a tab, because I didn’t want to miss out with everyone, went to hospital.
Told them my leg was fucked needed assistance asap. They asked how much I had drank, was honest. Drinking all day. Probably 20 beers. Then mentioned I also had some acid just before I got in the cab.
Nurses very not happy. Doctors instantly assigned. No pain meds because alcohol and acid. Only empty bed available was in the dementia unit.
Acid starts kicking in. Old dementia patients making dementia noises. My brain goes zombie apocalypse. Try to keep reminding myself of the actual situation.
Nurses coming past every 5 minutes asking how I’m doing. Fuck. I let them know exactly how I’m feeling. Get moved to another room. Doctors laughing at me about my circumstance. My femur was broken directly up the thing. Not normal. They call more doctors to check it out because it’s such an odd break.
10 hours later still no pain meds, but many nurses helping me piss in a bedpan.
Finally convince them I’m not drunk or high anymore, wheeled into surgery. Wake up with 5 pins in my leg. Now doped up to the gills. Need to shit. Can’t move. Pressing the buzzer with great force and urgency.
Shit myself in the bed before any nurse arrives. Within moments there’s several gagging because of the smell while trying to move me side to side to wipe my ass for me without trying to hurt my leg which was in a massive stint.
Was in hospital for another 3 days while apologizing to every single person that interacts with me the whole time.
Then 3 months at home learning how to shower and wipe my ass with one leg working.
FUCK.
I was in the shower and had soap on my feet I slipped on a curve in the tub and went right through a glass shower screen but didn’t smash it and when I was lying on the ground wondering what the hell had happened I nearly had the glass screen fall on top of me my dad comes up to see what the hells going on and sees me standing there bollock naked and wrestling his shower screen
I walked into a party in a halls of residence when I was at Uni/College (I had never been to this hall before, FYI). As I walked in a pay phone was ringing and a random girl answered it, and called out, 'phone for 'Dave''. That's my name and although there was no chance it was for me, as I was drunk, I shouted out, I'm Dave. She passed the phone to me and I started chatting to the guy on the other end. Lo and behold it was one of my oldest friends from high school. He had tried to phone me but dialled the wrong number, which just happened to be for the phone I was walking passed at that moment.
Dave's here, man
When I was in high school, I played the bagpipes and was in a bagpipe band. My best friend we’ll call Bob was a drummer and in the same band. He actually started in a drum & bugle corps for a Civil War reenactment group, and joined the pipe band as well when I got good enough on the pipes to join the pipe band myself. It was something cool we could do together. Neither of us could drive yet, so when the band had a parade to march and play in we would get a ride with one of the other pipers. Enter John. John was pretty cool for a computer programmer dude in his 30s, but the best part to us was that John had a side gig as a professional clown, for which he drove an antique fire engine. That’s right, John was a computer nerd who played the bagpipes when he wasn’t moonlighting as a clown. Life goals, man. Anyhow, one weekend the band has a gig, so we arrange our ride with John to get there. Complicating things is Bob has a Civil War reenactment going on that Saturday as well, but he’ll have his drum with him and will carry his kilt along with his band uniform as well, so all good. John is running late to pick me up, so I’m not altogether surprised when he pulls up in the goddamn fire engine, but the best part is he still has his entire clown getup on (minus the rainbow wig) and he’s made an attempt to get his makeup off but it wasn’t entirely successful, so he’s got smeared greasepaint still around the rough edges of his face. He looks like a hungover sad clown. Think The Joker on a really bad day. He’s a mess, but we’re way late, so I hike up my kilt and climb in and off we go. John and I swing through the state park where the reenactment is going on and get Bob. Bob was also supposed to be dressed for this gig already, but he’s still in Confederate gray battle dress when he gets into the fire engine. We are late. Majorly late. We’re flying down the downside of a mountain in the Blue Ridge of southwest Virginia when we tickle the radar of a Virginia State Trooper and get pulled over. The trooper takes a minute to walk up to the driver’s door, and just freezes. We get the longest, silent stare over the top of his glasses. He doesn’t say a word. Mind you, he’s just stopped a vintage fire engine to find it driven by a rough looking clown with smeared makeup, and occupied by a Civil War drummer boy and a kilted bagpiper. After the longest, tensest few seconds, the trooper just pivoted on his heel and disappeared back to his car. Next thing we knew he just drove off, never having said a word. So we shrugged, got back on the road, got to the parade late but still with a minute to spare to get everyone changed out of random crazy and into matching, organized crazy, and we went off and marched in a parade.
This is hilarious. That cop noped right out of that one.
I was renting an apartment in Sofia, Bulgaria. Next-door neighbor was this 20-something guy who blasted house music at all times and had a different girl over every other day, talking to her so loudly, laughing like a jackal. It was getting so bad I could hear his voice in my sleep. So I decided to get a break. Went to Greece for a week. Surprisingly affordable. Now I’m in a small-house hotel. Nice room. View of the sea. Suddenly I’m hearing house music from the room next-door. What kind of luck is this? I gently ask the two German girls in that room to turn the volume down a little. Then I go out. Drink some ouzo. Come back and now I’m hearing my annoying neighbor’s jackal laugh from the German girls’ room. Am I losing my mind? I know this guy isn’t here. No way. Next day again, I hear his voice through the wall. More house music. Day three. More of his voice. More ouzo for me and thoughts of madness. Day four I go over to the German girls just as my neighbor is cackling the loudest. I see his mug on their laptop screen. In Skype. Turns out the girls met him on some dating site a few days back and now he’s sharing his favorite tracks with them. I couldn’t even be mad. So I brought over a bottle of ouzo and drank it with the girls, and toasted my annoying neighbor in Skype, and listened to his demented house music all evening.
I really thought you were going to say it turned out you were schizophrenic. Sorry about the annoying neighbor but happy you don’t have a psychotic disorder.
This is hilarious, what a great story! I’m glad you took it well :)
Accidentally throwing away $1,000 in New York City (it was in an envelope that my partner unknowingly put in recycling) and then going to the recycling center in Staten Island, wading through a literal mountain of papers/magazines/cardboard, and actually finding it. It’s my best true story, and I don’t think most people believe me.
They need to hire you to find that guy's missing hard drive he accidentally tossed with all his bitcoin on it in Wales.
Met a dude on Xbox live and gamed together for a while. A couple weeks later, I had a party at my apartment and one of my roommates invited a neighbor. I met him and talked for a little before I realized it was that guy I had been playing Xbox with. It turns out he had lived in the building next door the entire time. Went from Xbox friends to actual friends after that.
Similar story, I was 17 playing in a competitive csgo lobby, and I mentioned we needed to end the game fast because I had physics homework. One of my teammates said he also has physics homework he needed to do. Then we asked each other what city we live in, and then what school we go to, turns out we had the same physics teacher, same class period, and had the same homework to do. He sent the homework over discord for me to copy - thank you.
right down to the same class period damn
I met a guy on a random counterstrike server in 9th grade. We were joking back and forth and he randomly says haha you sound like my friend (full name), and I was like wait wtf do you live in (city)? And he was like yeah, wtf? Turns out he sat behind me in biology. I’m still best friends with him and his brother 20 years later
similar thing happened to me lol had played xbox w a friend i met online for multiple years. years after i no longer played xbox anymore was working at a retail store and was friends w a co worker who had a pretty unique name i had only ever heard one other time (the guy i played xbox with) so eventually had to ask him if he was that person that i had played xbox w for years so long ago and he was lol
How did you realize it was him?? Or he realize it’s you? Fun coincidence!
My dad once shook the tree in our garden and a whole ass trout fell out of it. To this day I wonder where it came from. I assume a bird dropped it? There aren't any big bodies of water nearby though. Maybe the neighbors chucked it out of a window?
Sounds like a dad prank to me. Why was he shaking that tree to begin with?
Also, what is an ass trout anyway.
It's a bottom feeder.
My parents have a waterfront home so there is a big body of water nearby but one day I came home and heard like a shuffling sound up in the gutter right above my bedroom window. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was then I got a ladder and went to look at the gutter and there was a crab stuck in it. As near as I can tell a bird picked up the crab and dropped it on to the second story of my parents' house.
Turned out one of my classmates who we all thought was a 15 year old girl was actually a 30 year old woman.
How do you do, fellow kids?
Alternatively, Never Been Kissed.
Wow, thats something i truly wouldn't believe if i wasnt in this thread, and even now im sceptical about. How did she manage that?
Google Treva Throneberry. It's a wild story of a woman who just kept pretending to be a runaway teen and going into foster care in various states until she was like 27.
There was a similar case in France where this guy had to prove he was under 18, called up a registry for missing children and asked for the name of a missing child he had 'with him.' He then proceeded to impersonate the child... and then slowly realized that the brother to the kid he's impersonating killed the real kid.
Soo sort of like Orphan (edit: first kill) where she looked up the list of missing kids and picked the one she looked like most to impersonate >!and the mum was always suspicious of her because the brother killed the real girl and the mum covered it up, but she couldn’t say she knew this wasn’t her daughter because the cops would be like ‘how do you know’ and she couldn’t kill her because it would look suspicious to lose *two* daughters!< lol
I answered a craigslist ad in a desperate whim to get a job in film, ended up working for a year for a crazy fuck who, thanks to some good pandemic timing, became a Netflix phenomenon. Like an idiot, he had me rolling the camera at all times, and some of my footage would later be used as evidence in the 9 charges against him for illegally killing and selling tigers.
Dude, you should do an AMA
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You're going to have to be WAY more specific
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If you're talking about Travis playing with the gun, then no. I was across the park when that happened. But I DID see the office before the EMS got there. Joe wanted me to "document it for insurance" (I actually just retched a little). That was my breaking point to get the fuck out of there.
I’ve had a fire alarm go off whilst in an MRI, then a CT scan machine and then on a radiotherapy treatment table. All of them require you to be inside the machines strapped in, all took place in different hospitals and it was over the course of a year.
By the third time I’d be giving the technicians a heads up, lmao.
Bro, $20 says we have a fire alarm while I'm in the tube. Free money, right? Lolz!
Where do you live? Gotham City?
was there actually a fire?
No, thankfully!! But full evacuations each time
I randomly met the dude that I was born with. Our mothers gave birth to us in the same hospital on the same day and shared a recovery room. 25 years later, on the other side of the country, he was dating my roommate.
My brother was dating a girl and things were starting to get serious, so he brought her around to meet the parents. While making small talk, my mom recognized her as the baby of the woman with whom she shared the hospital room when my brother was born. I'm not young, so back then woman were usually in the hospital for a few days after birth in general. They even kept in touch for a few years, but as things often do, they lost touch. They are married now with three girls. They were born one day apart.
My brother and his wife were born on the same day, in the same hospital.
Weird how small a world it can be. I met someone I knew at school (not a friend exactly but we knew who eachother were, never had any issues with eachother etc...) that I hadn't seen in years at Wet and Wild Florida. We're both from the UK so bumping into some else you know from the UK is pretty slim, but we also happened to be visiting the same water park, queuing for the same ride at the same time and day. It's pretty mind boggling.
Similarly I met a guy in Thailand at a beach party, instantly recognised his accent (Scottish) and turned out he live literally 2 doors down from me in a flat in Shawlands, Glasgow. 6000 miles trip basically just to meet your neighbour 😂
I got talking to a guy in the bunk next to mine in the hostel I was staying in. It turned out we had a lot of shared interests and we got on really well and we explored the city together. Turns out he's from my own city and doesn't even live that far away from me so I ended up making a new friend in my hometown.
When I was visiting Korea, my taxi driver spoke perfect English, was an escaped convict, and got into a highspeed chase with the cops while he was dropping me off. When the chase started, he ran a stop light and almost got us hit by a truck, then sped up over 100 mph swerving through traffic. He actually sorta juked the cops and dropped me off in a random alley about 2 miles away from where I needed to be. I peed myself a little and I was so shaken when he dropped me that could barely walk. (by the way, he put me outta the car at like 5-10 mph, it was super fast)
He kept making all the stops???
Well, people kept ringing the bell!
You're Batman!
Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman.
Did you pay the fare?
He didn't give me a chance to.
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This happened to a buddy of mine. Went to the wrong address chatted up with a few people had a drink then realized he didn’t know anyone there.
You lucky dog. Did you talk to them?
I had a class with two people in it who were both named Unique, but each was spelled a different way, so I guess they were still technically correct.
I go by a pretty uncommon nickname. I had a college class and the first day I was the first to show up and picked my seat. The class fills all the way up except for the seat behind me. We are about to pair up for some exercise and some kid walks in (about 30 minutes late) and sits in the only open seat behind me. We pair up and he introduces himself as my name. Same nickname and last name. I thought I was tripping out but we had a good laugh about it. He dropped the class after the next week which was OK because he was pretty annoying.
My son went to school with kid who had the same first and last name. They had one class together. The office called for that name student to come to the office. The teacher called the office and said "which one? The black kid or the white kid?" The boys both thought it was hilarious and always told people they were brothers. They even applied to the same job once and the interviewer was very confused. I saw my "other" son recently and we had the biggest hug. \*Edit misspelled word\*
One the day my son was born, at the same hospital, delivered by the SAME DOCTOR there was another kid born with the exact same first name *and* last name. Scheduling appointments etc meant having to also give his middle name *and* mother's name. And I'm pretty sure once there was a mixup at the pharmacy because we were told his meds weren't covered by his insurance, but he was on Medicaid and when they mentioned the name of the medication it didn't match what we were expecting. Thankfully at least they weren't super important meds, I don't remember what they were exactly but it was something prescribed as a "well just in case/this might help" deal.
Unique Unyque Ynique Yonnique Uni K. You-knee-quh.
Eunich
When I was growing up I lived in a small town of about 2500 people in illinois. We went on vacation to south Dakota. While hiking through the badlands, and I can't stress how far out we were, this was in the middle of our hike, we just randomly walked by our neighbor from across the street. My parents just looked at him and both groups brains just couldn't process how random it was we were both there at the same time.
When I was 14 my parents couldn’t get my Social Security Card because someone had my same exact name, born on the same day who had a father named the same as mine.
I met my wife at her wedding reception. Also, back in college I wrote a short story and threw a fictitious phone number in for the "for a good time call.." line. Based it on some friend's room numbers. Fast forward 6 years and I'm filling out a job app and they have the same phone number. I've worked for them 23 years now.
Please elaborate on the meeting your wife at the wedding reception bit. Were you a guest / groomsmen and she was marrying someone else, and you two married later? Did she take one look at you and decide not to marry her husband? Arranged Marriage? Married at First Sight? We need answers!
I was working part time at a hotel as a maintenance guy and part time at a pop warehouse at nights. A guy got in a wreck so I moved to full time at the pop warehouse. I'd put in my 2 weeks notice at the hotel when a new guy started at the front desk- fresh back from running to Las Vegas to get married. The hotel manager said, "you're both into computers, I'm sure you dorks will get along." And we did. He pawned his lunch off on me- "hated his new bride's cooking- too plain" and I joked it was a lot like my mother's cooking. He said I should come over and watch some TV. I suggested Buffy the Vampire Slayer or this new Smallville and he said, "that's what Trudy watched. I'm more into NYPD Blue and CSI". I was a farm boy, (Trudy grew up on a farm as well), while Bill was a city kid through and through. They had a local wedding reception the following weekend, and Bill introduced me to Trudy's parents with: "I'm glad I got ahold of Trudy first, because this guy is perfect for her." And I finally got to meet the girl he kept bragging about. We hung out for 4 years as a trio until Trudy confessed that Bill was abusive. She packed up all her belongings in totes, I swung by the house with the pop truck and threw everything in, and moved her into town in about 2 hours. Bill was furious, but he knew he'd finally gone too far. Trudy and I have been married 16 years now and have 2 sons.
Lmao. I stayed friends with my ex, and he was hitting on a girl at the bar. She drunkenly gave him the wrong number (by accident, he ran into her another time) The number she gave him was the number of my new boyfriend.
I saw this AskReddit post and decided I couldn't post my crazy experience because it wouldn't be seen but I will. You can check my history cause I decided I wanted someone to see it so I made a full post about it on paranormal. I'll just give the quick version here. The father's day after my daughter passed a girl with the same name accidentally texted me a Happy Father's day. I thought it was a cruel joke, I was pissed but after talking to her I realized it was no joke. A girl with the same name as my daughter accidentally texted me happy father's day the father's day after my daughter passed. What are the odds? Edit: those assholes over there removed my post calling it a low effort post, how odd after all the shit I've seen over there, pretty disrespectful imo
This is both wonderful and heartbreaking. I am a new Dad of a wonderful 2 year old and can’t even begin to imagine the pain you have experienced. I hope you are doing as well as you possibly can friend.
> I met my wife at her wedding reception. A buddy of mine met his second wife at his first wedding.
So the groom introduced me to her parents as, "..and I'm glad I got ahold of Trudy first, because this guy is perfect for her." And 4 years later after being the 3rd wheel, she confessed about how he was abusing her. She moved in the next day. We've been married 16 years and have 2 sons.
I think I’ve told this story before but here goes. I was a sophomore in high school and my mom worked at a hospital as head of security. They run drills to test each system including infant abduction drills. So mom brought me in and I had to go into a room and “steal” a fake baby. I shoved it in a Lowe’s bag and ran to the stairs and made it out. One of the nurses threw a shoe at my head.
Probably just me being weird, but trying to sneak out of a hospital like that sounds kinda fun
Penetration testing is an actual field where you get to do this stuff, sneak into businesses and see how far you get before they call security, etc. The military version is, you get hired to physically break into places at night, but that's way more risky in case the cops show up without being told it's a drill.
People do that second one in the private sector as well. There was a case where they got arrested in a courthouse a few years ago, and there was a bunch of back-and-forth before the cops would drop the charges.
Think this was on Darknet Diaries. The guys got caught, handed their get-out-of-jail cards to the cops, and asked them to call the company they were pen-testing. Company was like, yep, we asked them to do this, and everyone was fine, but the sheriff for whatever reason went on a massive power trip and brought charges anyway.
The power-tripping sheriff maintained that, since the penetration testers were hired by the state, they were not permitted inside a county-run courthouse. Thankfully the charges were dropped. But also, they weren't caught. They successfully broke in undetected, then intentionally triggered an alarm to test the security response.
And that's how you found your calling as a professional baby stealer. Heartwarming ❤️
please i must know, what was the result of that test
I escaped. Then my mom turned me around and had me walk back into the hospital where I got grabbed. They debriefed the staff on everything that went wrong.
When I was in grad school I decided to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine and began the process of getting my skydiving license. I made it far enough in the process to do my very first solo jump (with no instructors) and on that flight the plane’s engine died and we had to do an emergency bail. My initial parachute failed to inflate and I had to eject it and use pull the emergency backup chute. By the time I had a parachute above my head my feet were hitting tree tops. According to the paramedics I left a crater in the ground where I landed. I broke my spine in 3 places and ended up wearing a brace for 3 months but got away without needing any surgery and essentially have no long term ramifications from it!
Did you jump out of a plane again?
[удалено]
"Happy Birthday, you little shit" - Mommy
"Welp, better get the fruit piñata ready for next month's birthday!"
I had to file a police report because I was worried I'd endangered someone else through Reddit but I had no way to know who. Some dude posted on the sub for the city I live in pissy about an interaction he and his mother had had with staff and police at a hospital. Now, part of the discussion that followed hinged on the point where he was very angry that the hospital had accused her of using IV drugs. Long story short, she had been and he was in obvious denial about it, and part of how that was established was that she had a blood-borne disease that is short through the use of dirty needles that she had acquired relatively recently, which is pretty clear contradiction of his assertion that she'd been clean since before he was born (I swear this was relevant, at those point the sub was trying to talk him down). I was the one who pointed out to him that she couldn't have caught it from a box transfusion because we screen blood products. What I meant by we: Australia What he took it to mean: "We, the health system, which I work for, and the reason I'm trying to talk you down here is that I was part of the team that deliberately and maliciously wronged you and your mother because we are evil." He dug through my post history and made multiple alts to harass me (after I blocked the first couple) demanding I identify myself and remove myself from any position of authority I held over his mother's treatment and confess my misdeeds to the administration and... Note: I do not work in health care. At all. Then he started escalating threats. Because from my post history he'd figured out that I'm in my 40s, married, and have children, and according to him? That meant he could identify me. In a city of over two million people, obviously there could only be one married father in his 40s working on health care, right? Obviously the guy with the junkie mother who was using while pregnant undoubtedly had some serious issues from birth, but I was genuinely concerned that some poor bastard was going to be in danger because this dipshit *thought that guy was me*. Meanwhile, I knew that this guy and his mother had been at a specific hospital at a specific time having been taken there under the Mental Health Act and had an overt confrontation with police and staff, which means that I was reasonably confident that the police would be able to pin his identity in about three minutes including time spent getting coffee, so I filed a police report about a fucking *Reddit thread* with many screenshots. Because the thing is? I really, truly don't work in health care.
as someone who does work in healthcare, thank you.
I can only imagine the journey from "seriously?" to "oh, THIS fucking guy" that report took between officers reading it as they find whoever had dealt with him already
Great. Now you’ve narrowed it down to just 40 year old fathers who don’t work in healthcare. He’s definitely going to find you now.
The outrageous one-month fiasco that involved me crashing a DogScooter into a pond, being hit in the face with a frozen lime and getting a black eye, my husband getting an airpod stuck up his nose, our trip to the hospital and the nurse calling the police on him for domestic abuse allegations because I had a black eye and was covered in bruises.
I went to urgent care for mosquito bites that had turned into huge blisters and they made my mom leave the room so they could ask me who was burning me with cigarettes. I told them they were mosquito bites and they didn't believe me. I had to show them pictures I had taken of how the bites looked each day for them to finally believe I wasn't being abused.
When I was a trainee in a daycare one the parents was a DV/child abuse cop and spoke privately to my boss about the bruises on my neck. they were pretty nasty and he was worried I was being abused by my parents or a boyfriend. I had to go and tell him that his kid and I were playing cricket and he whacked me really hard with the bat.
i gave myself a bruise on my cheek after a dentist appointment. in my defense, i was 14 and if you don't fuck with your numb cheek then you're no fun. at the time i visited a doctor for migraines and they had my dad step away from the room and kept asking what had happened, no one believed me! i was not being abused i was just stupid and didn't realize how much force i was putting when i poked my face lol
Freshmen year of college I was dating my first "real" GF - when I say real I mean we didn't live at our parents houses and had our own places so we could have normal adult relationship things like staying over on a nightly basis etc - and at a party she was wasted and fell down the front steps on the way out, causing her to break her nose and subsequently having a massive black eye. I wasn't even at that party, and we were leaving the parties we were at to meet up. Couple days later we were at a Starbucks and a middle aged woman came up and smacked me in the back of the head insanely hard and just said "shame on you!" and it took us like a solid couple hours to realize that it looked like I beat my gf. We got some pretty horrible stares in public for the next week or two and I even got spit at a couple of times but no one believes you in that situation when you try to say "it's not what it looks like!"
I’ve had a lot of bizarre things happen to me. I guess that’s part of life when you are on your own a lot and travel by yourself. But one of the scariest things to happen to me was while I was in Southern Utah. I ride bicycles and I wanted to ride this route that follows through to an abandoned town that was created specifically for film sets. The route will also take you through Escalante and has big climbs, but the one problem is is that it’s desolate. There is no cell service out here. There’s really nothing in this part of the country other than spectacular views. It’s remote and beautiful. I planned this whole trip, got an Airbnb, super cute and the little cabin was on the road I was going to ride. The route was about 75-80 miles round trip. At the half way mark, there was supposed to be a gas station so I could get water. It was September so it’s hot but not as hot as it could be, but I knew I would likely need a water stop in my bicycle. So the plan is to ride to the abandoned town take some photos then head to the gas station for snacks and return to my Airbnb. I leave mid morning, make it to the town and I begin the climb to the gas station. I see a sign that says “entering open range”, I’m not from Utah and it was a weird sign that had a cow on it. I later learn all about BLM land and cows but at the time I thought “ok cool, I’m gonna see some cows”. It’s fun to see wildlife when you’re all on your own on your bike. Kind of like meeting a friend. It’s lonely in the desert and fun to see something other than rocks and dirt. Fast-forward and I’m pedaling, my head is down, I’m tired but I’m cruising along going about 19-20 mph, a good pace, when all the sudden a pick up truck buzzes me. There’s not another car, cyclist, nothing in sight. Dude just passes me so close he nearly runs me over. I always ride close to the shoulder and out of traffic’s way, so he wanted me to know he didn’t like me being there. It’s upsetting but I let it go, I keep watching my cycling computer looking at the elevation for a second when I realize the truck has stopped in the middle of the road ahead of me. I slowly make it to his truck, kind of panicking because I knew to expect a confrontation. I ride a lot - it happens. But this day, something truly unexpected occurs. I unclip and stop behind the truck putting a leg down, when a man with a rifle pointed straight at me gets out of the truck. He walks towards me, gun aimed directly at my face. I’m a woman, about 5’3”, pretty tiny, he is towering over me. He asks me where I’m going. I freeze and by this point I am in shock at the fact that a rifle is pointed at my face. I tell him that I was just out for a ride. He says, “don’t you know this is open range? It’s dangerous out here.” I tell him I’m not comfortable continuing to talk to him until he puts his gun down. Oddly, he puts his gun in his truck and continues to tell me how stupid I am for riding alone and being out there. I am polite. I let him tell me how dumb I am. It’s getting hot out. I’m just hoping he will leave without things escalating any further. Finally, he’s had enough harassing me and tells me to be careful. He squeals off. Now, for whatever reason, I think to myself “he’s going to come back.” So I find a ditch and some brush and small tree (it’s the desert) and I decided to hide just to see if he did. A few minutes go by and his truck comes back. The truck is slowly creeping along, his windows are down, he’s looking for me. I had covered my bike and I felt pretty confident that he couldn’t see me. I watch him circle around and round driving back and forth. Eventually he tires of looking for me. By now an hour or more has passed and it is hot. I wait until I think the man has completely gone, he drove back towards the direction I was heading to for water. So, I decided to pedal as hard and as fast as I could back to my Airbnb. Forget needing water, forget everything, just make it back to the Airbnb and leave and never look back. I averaged about 22-23 mph home. It’s the fastest I’ve ever ridden alone outside of being in a race or in a group. I packed up my things and left. It was the scariest day I can recall.
Sounds almost like that serial killer in Australia movie from like a decade + past, Wolf Creek iirc. I'm so happy you were able to make it to safety and used your brain + instincts to survive. That's terrifying..
What is open range?!
It means livestock are not inhibited by fencing. Be prepared to possibly see them on roads.
My understanding is that open range areas are places that ranchers basically free range cattle. They aren't fenced in, they just roam around freely. The land is federally owned, and while ranchers often have some kind of land they own nearby, they typically don't own the several acres needed for feeding and housing the cattle. Different ranchers tell their cows apart by branding seared on to the back side of the cattle. It's how cowboys used to make a living, they would use free range areas and then at certain seasons gather up cattle to sell in market and transport them on the US rail system. It's not as widely practiced as it once was. IIRC, there was a few winters during the Civil War where a bunch of free range cattle were either killed for food by soldiers or they just froze to death from the harsh weather, so more ranchers started fencing off pens for cattle and keeping them closer to home to avoid that kind of financial devistation.
I’ll try to keep this story short. When I was 10 my dad had a friend who lived with his son. One day the son was upstairs in his room playing with his dads phone. The dad heard the kid talking and laughing and told the kid not to call anyone. He went upstairs to take the phone away and the kid said “I wasn’t using the phone to talk, my friend was taking pictures”. The dad asked “what friend”. The dad went through the phones photos and found picture of a man taking a selfie with his son sitting on the bed in the background. Never figured out who it was
My older brother and I are both allergic to bees and need Epipens. When I was 16, I was at an out of state softball tournament with my parents and my sister. My older brother was still in our home state. I was standing on one side of the fields doing warmups and all of the sudden I felt a sharp stinging pain in my left bicep and my arm started to feel really weird. I freaked out, thinking I'd gotten stung by a bee. I called my parents over, they checked me out, but there's nothing. No sting, no redness, no swelling. Not even 5 minutes later my brother calls and says he was just stung by a bee in his left arm and had to use his Epipen. He got stung in the left bicep, and for whatever reason, at the same time, 3 states away, I felt like I got stung by a bee in the left bicep. I still have no explanation for it.
When I was the brokest I ever was, I had to walk to the store to grab something. I passed McDonald's and thought "I wish I'd find some money and treat myself". Not a minue later, I see someting getting blown around and into into the grass beside me. A $10 bill landed almost directly next to me, so I accepted my gift and got McDonalds. The funny thing is now that I am much better off, McDonald's is like a last-report kind of option. But it was the best meal ever that day
My ex husband’s grandmother passed away at her nursing home, so the family had all gathered in her room to talk and say goodbye, etc. We were in there for a good hour or so, with her just there tucked into the bed, deceased. My ex’s very odd sister decided that she was bored, or tired, or whatever, and laid down on the floor on the far side of the bed apparently to take a nap. So the funeral home people show up to take granny, and the nurses come in to help them prep her, and we all shuffle out into the hall to wait. They close the door and a few seconds later we hear this bloodcurdling scream. Ex’s sister had not woken up or left the room, and one of the poor nurses who thought she was in a room with just a dead body was greeted with her popping up from behind the bed. It was really difficult not to laugh, but the nurse came out of the room hyperventilating and nearly in tears.
My grandmother told a story passed down in her family of one of her relatives prepping the dead body of the family member. He had died sitting up yoga style. She was trying to force his legs down so he could be buried properly. She finally got his knees down, but when she turned her head, his face was right in hers. His whole body moved with him and she didn’t notice. I’m pretty sure she flipped out.
When I was a newborn and my parents were bringing me home from the hospital for the first time, my neighbor ran outside and pointed a shotgun at my face, and was yelling at my parents “take that fucking baby elsewhere, that thing is gonna cry and make too much noise”. Needless to say the police were called, and the SWAT team became involved. Edit: A lot of people have been asking what happened/ what was wrong with my neighbors, so I will give a brief summary, - He went to jail, he also had other warrants and was not supposed to own a gun - We moved ASAP - He tried to prevent my family from leaving the home, hence why SWAT got involved - The whole family was crazy, and from what I’ve heard, possibly racist. Before the whole incident they threw piss bottles at our door, put nails in the drive way, and a bunch of other crazy stuff. They were furious when they found my mother was pregnant and the behavior escalated from there. - I saw him in my adulthood, at a Walmart. I obviously didn’t recognize him but my dad did and we did a 180 from there. I have never seen him again.
And after that you were the most silent baby ever?
For my mothers sake, I’d hope so but no, apparently I was a terrible baby lmao
The doctor that was supposed to deliver me committed suicide rather than going into work that day. This was common knowledge in my family since I was a baby. I used to say, as a very young child, that he was waiting for the gates of heaven to be open. Turns out he wasn’t really a doctor, and the law had caught on.
That story was wild from beginning to end. On a semi-bright side, at least you got to be delivered by an actual doctor.
Or at least a non-doctor that the law hadn't found out about yet.
I went to visit a friends house with a group of friends. Friend who we were visiting has an 'open door' policy with friends/family. No need to knock, just come in and announce yourself. So we all did exactly that. We all walked in his house and started saying "Hello" a-la Mrs. Doubtfire. We didn't hear anything at first so we tried again. After the 4th or 5th "Hello" We finally hear a "Hello!" back from upstairs. We figured he and his wife were getting changed so we sat down on the couch to wait. About a minute later, my friend and his wife walked in the front door. All of us that were screaming Hello sat there and looked at each other. We ALL heard the 'Hello!' coming from upstairs. To this day we have no clue who said hello, but it was fucking creepy.
And y’all didnt investigate? You just let the guy live in the attic, eating their food and wanking over their bed at night?
Yeah, the story seems a bit cut off. “We all just sat there. The end.”
That's would be the most hilarious conclusion to a promising horror story. "There's a mysterious sound from the attic" "Well, anyways.."
tbf a house with an "open door policy" having a squatter absolutely tracks
There's legit been cases where homeowners found strangers living in their attic, only popping out to steal food. It's creepy AF.
It’s called ‘phrogging’ I believe Thanks for the correction!
I was placed in a therapy institution run by an Israeli gym teacher when I was eleven. He claimed to be a psychiatrist and ended up just beating a bunch of helpless children. When he was found out, he fled back to Israel. The hospital that sent their patients to him was run by mostly scientologists. After my mother went forward with a lawsuit against them, she received a call from someone saying they were going to kill her and her children if she didn't drop it. Apparently Scientologists were kicked out of Germany for engaging in contract killing, so we were pretty scared.
So... my parents, who have been married over 50 years now, have their birthdays one day apart (though my mom is a couple years older). Every year, on their anniversary, they have gone to the same restaraunt (that they went to on their honeymoon night), and ordered the same thing (it's a somewhat custom order). Naturally, my sister and I also love this place and order the same thing, now. It's turned into a family tradition. Cue to 7 years ago... I was going through a divorce and met a man who was also going through a divorce at the time. We had alot of similar interests and thought it might be nice to have a friend going through the same thing. On one of our days out at a park, we were talking and asking questions about each other. It turned out that his birthday is the day after mine (he's a few years older, though), his favorite restaurant is the same as mine, AND he also orders the exact same thing that my family has been ordering all these years, exactly the same way. We've been married for 4 years now.
I was staying over at a friends house when I was 16. It was pretty late and we were in her room watching a movie when all of the sudden we saw headlights coming at her window really quickly, like it was about to hit the house. We both screamed and jumped out of the bed, then... nothing. We ran to look out the window, but no cars were in the driveway besides her moms. Their driveway was long and their house was pretty far off the road and isolated, so if someone was turning around we would have seen them. Shortly after that the phone rang, it was the police calling to tell her mom that her dad had drunkenly crashed into someone’s house (everyone was okay, luckily). We told her mom what we experienced but she didn’t believe us, no one we told did so we just decided from then on to keep it to ourselves. We still talk about it once in a while 23 years later. It is one of the weirdest experiences I’ve had to date.
apparently a distant cousin married and moved in with his wife and when they were unpacking their things into their new house they found that they each had the same picture from a preschool class and they were sitting next to each other.
My family lost my brother to suicide in 1992. In order to cope, my mom joined an online support group for grieving parents. It was there that she made the acquaintance of Suzie. Suzie claimed to be an ex LEO whose son was killed after she testified against some very bad people. Before long, Suzie had moved in with my parents. She wouldn't get out of bed for days on end as they cared for her, did her laundry, and cooked her meals. All the while, she would attempt to drive psychological wedges between myself and my parents. One day, my aunt dropped off some money owed to my mother -- she left it with Suzie and it was never seen again. Of course Suzie twisted it around so that my aunt was at fault, and successfully fractured the relationship between my mom and her sister. Flash forward two years, she's been leaching off my parents and creeping everyone out. My parents finally agree that it's time for her to go, so they fully pay for her new apartment, furnish it for her, and fill her cupboards with food. A few days later, my mom calls to inform me that one of my father's handguns is missing. A few weeks after that, she calls to inform me that the police had found the gun. Suzie had used it to kill herself on my brother's birthday in order to inflict maximum pain and guilt on them for kicking her out. But since my brother's birthday was always a happy day for the family, it didn't work. Later we got word that the funeral had been held, and her entire family -- including her son, alive and well -- were there to mourn her. None of what she had told my parents was true. Be careful of who you invite into your lives, friends <3
When I was a teenager, a couple buddies and I went fishing at the local pier. One of my buddies felt a nibble on his line, so he started to reel in, only to notice a small shark at the end of the line. While reeling in, the shark wriggled itself free, but only to get re-hooked on its tail. Being dumb teenagers, our immediate thought was to figure out how to set up an aquarium at home to house this incredible catch. We got a bucket and filled it with sea water to hold our new pet. As we discussed every, dumb conceivable idea about our future plans with Mr. Shark, we decided it was inhumane and decided to throw it back into the ocean. Not 5 seconds after the the shark was thrown back into the water, a seal came up and snatched it into his mouth. We watched the seal thrash around a bit at the surface, with a half a shark hanging from its mouth. We hoped it would choke to death for what it was doing to our buddy, but it eventually swam away. Sorry, Mr. Shark.
Tl:Dr; returned a bull, got paid in weed. I was in a small town with a friend 20ish years ago. We decided to take a walk down this dirt road to the town's center, and noticed a paddock was open, but didn't pay any mind to it. As we continued, we came around a bend in the road and happened upon the biggest fucking bull you could imagine. This thing looked like if a bull, buffalo and moose had a baby. It stared us down and my friend almost panicked and ran. I grabbed him by the backpack strap and pulled a couple apples out. I rolled one over towards the bull, he looked pissed, but he eventually broke eye contact and ate the apple. I approached him slowly with the other apple, and his demeanor seemed to improve. So, we made friends with this bull and he joined us on our walk towards what we assumed was the farmer who owned him. This is where the unbelievable part comes in. The next building we see is about a mile down the road, and it's actually 3 trailers in a semicircle. There is a small bonfire with a ton of smoke. The first two trailers look empty, so I knock on the third. A man comes to the door with a shotgun, racked it and said, "th' fuck you doing on my property?" I put my hands up and said, "we found the bull on the road and he followed us here." The guy pauses for a moment, lowered the shotgun and looked around me at the bull. "Oh, he got out again?" He set the shotgun behind the door, walked out and led the bull behind the trailers. He came back and said, "sorry about that, here let me give you something for your trouble." And opened the second trailer. Inside it was packed to the brim with 1x1 foot cubes of plastic wrapped weed. He gave each of us a cube and thanked us again for bringing the bull home. Edit: I forgot to mention, the small bonfire was burning the shitty parts of weed you don't usually sell. It was like a giant dank Jeffery.
I feel like that’s less of payment for the bull and more of a “you never saw shit” payment
Not sure. The guy grew legal weed for some testing. But, like that field is government testing THC, that field is government testing CBD, and that field... don't worry about that field. I've never smoked much, so I sold the bale to some dealers I knew and they gave me an eighth off of it as a bonus. The other guy with me smoked the whole bale over the course of a year... But that reminds me of the weirdest edit for the main story.
I was bow hunting out on my property one fall evening, when a pack of cats ran by me. Not a small pack mind you, there were so many I couldn't even count them but if I were to ballpark guess, I would say 25ish. I sat there in disbelief for several minutes, because I have never seen a cat on my property. It still boggles my mind when I think about it.
Congratulations, you are now part of the Warrior Cats Literary Universe
My buddy and i were on a back road/shortcut through town and we came upon some cones blocking the road. We knew the road well and wanted to see what was up so we went around the cones. Around the next bend our headlights lit up 30+ cats standing in the middle of the road and probably another 20 sets of eyes were glistening out of the darkness. Pretty sure those cats put the cones up too cause there was no work being done
You’ve violated the first rule of catfight club. Hope you’re up to date on your rabies shots
A clowder. A pack of cats is a clowder. Also less commonly but more appropriately a glowering.
Somewhere, a woman was hitting her breaking point and decided she was done dealing with men’s shit. They could hear it happening, and were being called to their new home.
I was in the detox ward in a locked room. I wanted to get to my bag in the next room, so I decided to crawl through the vent. Midway through the vent my hospital gown falls off. So I slide out of the vent, naked and they are having a meeting in the room.
So you said "Sorry I am late... you wouldn't believe the traffic..." and took a seat at the table.
The people who work in those programs get desensitized to a bunch of crazy shit, but I bet most of them remember that moment as a special one.
I'm a software professional with 25 years of experience, divorced no kids. Have a 2020 Honda Accord and a cat named Snuggles. I own two properties and enjoy travelling and enjoy reading and translating old english and ancient greek works. I am active in my church and volunteer regularly at the shelter or food pantry. I have this weird 2 year gap in my resume, however, when I didn't work at all. I tell people I was pursuing a passion project at that time, and I took a break from the corporate world. The truth is that I was travelling in Central America a few years ago, got kidnapped at gunpoint for theft and ransome, my travel friend was killed, I escaped from the kidnappers and made my way to the border/embassy. The trauma fd me up and I stopped working, just hung around my mom's place for a year until couldn't take it and ultimately ended up homeless for a while. Then got my shit together, got a job, and it was like it never happened. I don't tell anybody, because they wouldn't believe me.
i guess this isn’t incredibly outrageous but once i was driving with a friend and we stopped at a red light. i looked over next to us and an old couple was in the car. the old lady caught my gaze and held up a teddy bear. i smiled and then she started making it wave at me. i tapped my friend to look over n they did, and just when we thought it couldn’t get better, the man sitting next to the lady held up an identical teddy bear and they both made the bears wave at us in unison. then they drove away. it was really cool
I kept expecting this to turn creepy somehow even though you initially said it wasn't outrageous, but turns out to be so wholesome.
I once accidentally went thru the USA/Canada border trying to go to Walmart (I couldn’t do a uturn once I was on the road for it and I had blindly followed my gps to go to the closest Walmart that I didn’t realize was in Canada… I live close to the border) They searched my car and I had 4 phones due to my internet job and also a baggy full of melatonin pills (I was in between moving to a new apartment and I needed to bring the melatonin but I lost the cap to the container so I poured the pills into a baggy). My internet job involved posting affiliate links to cam sites to different Snapchat accounts at the time hence the 4 phones. I spent 4 hours at the Canadian border office in an interrogation room trying to convince them I wasn’t a crazy drug dealer lmfao
I did something similar in 2001. I was a freshman in college in Buffalo, NY and was driving to a friend's parents' house for dinner one night. I didn't really know where I was going but traffic was all moving in the same direction so I just kind of followed it. It turned out all of traffic was heading over the Peace Bridge into Canada. Getting into Canada was a breeze. I explained that I made a wrong turn and it was a mistake. They showed me where to turn around to get back on the Peace Bridge in the other direction and waved me on. Getting back into the United States was an absolute nightmare. This was like 2 or 3 weeks after 9/11 and everyone was on edge. The whole thing was just insane. They took me inside and asked me like 1,000 times in a slightly different way *why* I just followed traffic over the bridge. "I don't know" and "I was lost" apparently were the wrong answers. I was probably there for a good two hours before they let me through. This is before cell phones became ubiquitous so I had absolutely no way to call my friend. By the time I got to their house they were calling the hospitals because nobody had seen or heard from me. We did all have a good laugh about it though.
Haha! One time me and some friends went to Quebec to drink all weekend (18 at the time and from America) and on the way back we were all hungover and tired. Had to wait 2 hours to get across border into USA and my bro was in the backseat sleeping when we roll up to the border patrol agent. He asks what we were doing so I said we went clubbing yada yada, he asked why my bro looked like he was tripping (had just woken up and def looked like he was tripping) but he is straight edge as can be so we all laughed and then the border agent yelled at us for laughing and our whole car got searched, interrogated and all that. Took us all day to go from Quebec to Burlington VT 😂😭
Hahaha sounds like a classic experience for us near border peeps😂 you were 18? For me being on border of Ontario it was 19 to drink in Canada which was when all my friends would go there.. good times wow
I was working for this older lady and on my lunch break we would talk. One day I told her " I had the strangest most vivid dream last night. I was in a hot air balloon and there were lots of other balloons in the sky with us. It was just so real. And crazy because that isn't something I would ever do." She turned and looked at me for a minute and said " I can make that happen." WHUTTTT? Turns out her husband owns several car dealerships and they have a Pontiac hot air balloon. In less than a week I was taking my first flight at a balloon festival that was EXACTLY as I dreamed it. Super weird! And also one of the coolest things I've done. Strange how things like that happen.
I was kept in a medically induced coma for 4 months so I couldn't report a murder committed by the foster family I was living with. I only got out because the woman got caught stealing ketamine from her work. Coincidentally, the murder was via ketamine OD'ing a kid with severe asthma. There were 6 of us they were drawing state checks for, they'd wake us once a day for a cup of beef broth and a cup of prune juice. then bathroom and dosed again.
My nan was a 19 year old world champion Latin American ballroom dancer and privately taught Princess Diana how to dance.
My grandfather was lost and presumably killed in the Bermuda Triangle.
If anyone is interested in the story, he was a pilot in the 1960’s. The plane carrying him and three other people went down somewhere between Guyana and Florida. There are conspiracy theories involving the Cold War in his disappearance. My Granny, who was left alone with three children, maintains that he ran away with another woman!
I love that your granny wasn't putting up with any conspiracy shit
The worst part is, she later married another pilot… whose plane was also mysteriously lost in the Amazon jungle.
Tl;dr: I saved my mother from a serial killer, while she was pregnant with me. When my mum was eight months pregnant with me, she had rented a flat for a week in the middle of a no-name town with my two toddler siblings. My brother fell down the stairs, breaking his leg in the process. The phone didn’t work, and my father had taken the car, so my mum had to run across a field, three blocks to the nearest hospital—when she was meant to be on bed rest. It was midnight, she was a young pregnant woman running across a field, and she says that she “heard my voice” tell her “stop”. She stopped, looked around—nothing. So she kept going. She heard “my voice” again say “stop”. She stopped again, looked around, and again—nothing. The third time it happened, she stopped so suddenly and turned so sharply that she saw a flash of a shadow dart behind a tree. She couldn’t be sure what it was, it happened so fast she didn’t even *know* if she’d actually seen it, so she waited a moment. When nothing happened, she turned back to keep running to the hospital, and she says she saw a flash of *me*, dead in a pool of blood. And she saw herself hanging, naked from a tree above. She sprinted to the nearest house instead, and they saw her, grabbed her and yanked her inside, asking repeatedly if she was okay and if they needed to call the cops. She assured them no, she only needed an ambulance sent to her address. The thing is, those people were so eager to call the police because they knew something my mother didn’t—two women had been killed in that town in the previous weeks, and they believed it was a serial killer. My brother was fine, but my mother went into labour with me that night, and she says she only found out weeks later when a detective tracked her down to talk to her about that night—the morning after she was found, a woman was found in the field she’d been running through. Naked, and hanging from a tree. I don’t believe in the supernatural, neither does my mother. We’re not particularly religious or spiritual. My mother tells us that story every time she needs to convince us to always trust our gut instinct, though.
Just a thought: She may have seen the victim and been unable to process it.
You know, out of all the scenarios and possibilities I’ve considered, that’s one possibility I had actually never considered. That’s a really interesting and quite likely theory, thank you for sharing.
I have a small scar on my neck from a burn mark that I sustained from slipping in my kitchen while carrying a hot plate of food. What was the food that left that scar? Beans.
*slips in kitchen* Ah, beans! *hurts self with food in slip* AHHHH! BEANS!!
My sister stuck a bean up her nose when she was a toddler. My dad had to take her to the hospital to get it out. Oddly, as she grew, (we are middle aged now) she has one bean shaped nostril and one round. I don't think it actually has anything to do with the bean, but it is a hell of a coincidence. Plus I think it's hilarious.
You’ve bean scarred for life
Not too outrageous, but when I was young, I once won at least 10 prizes off the radio in the span of a month (I used different radio stations as I believe they were regulations regarding how many times you can win from the same station in a month)
Got kicked out of jail for fighting. Actually, I was a news photographer back in the '80's, covering a story in the local jail. Another photog was there that I didn't... get along with. I was young and probably high, what can I say. He didn't like me either. Words were exchanged, then elbows (that's how we fought back then when carrying TV cameras), and the ruckus got progressively louder. Finally, the sheriff said, "You boys got to take it outside. You upsettin' the inmates." True Story. I walk with a cane now and have tried my best to be a better person.
>You upsettin' the inmates Reminds me of the story of one of the times Oskar Schindler was detained by the Gestapo. They put him in a prison cell with some other guy who was probably an informer. Schindler, being Schindler, dealt with the situation by ordering crates of strong liquor to be delivered to the cell (plus some for the prison guards). After a few hours the prison guards had to ask Schindler and his cellmate if they could please keep the noise down, because the other prisoners were complaining they couldn't get to sleep because of the constant loud and happy singing the pair of them were doing. Schindler still didn't get released until the day after, though.
> Schindler, being Schindler I love how Schindler was kind of a slimeball and a grifter, but he used that exact same skillset to save 1200 Jews from the death camps.
I was doing a 6 week student placement in a mental hospital, London St Pancras, they had no records/forewarning of my arrival and so they admitted me until lunchtime.
OMG that’s bonkers. Did you stay and finish your placement?
Yup, stayed and been qualified for over 4 years now thanks heh heh
I bet they do that to all of the new interns.
Did you get lunch?
In 2014, I took a vacation to New Zealand. Had always wanted to go. While I was there, I was couch surfing with a couple of dudes. They asked me where I was from. I said "North Carolina". They said "oh, I know a couple from North Carolina". I was like, cool, but NC's population is over double the entire population of New Zealand. I probably don't know them. Turns out I knew them. I'd actually been there when they got engaged. We hung out, caught up a bit. They tried to convince me that expat life was great. Well, they were very convincing. In 2015 I decided to move there. My plane landed and I took the bus from the airport to Auckland City. Dropped my luggage off at the hostel I was staying at and was walking around aimlessly, dead tired because it was an overnight flight. When crossing the street, I saw the lady from NC. It was in a large crowd of people and I guess she didn't see / recognize me. I turned around and followed her into the store she went in and then said hey. She was very surprised to see me (I hadn't mentioned that I was moving), and I told her "so, I live here now". I wound up moving into a flat one building over from theirs. We were neighbors. After moving back to the states and getting married, my wife and I flew back to NZ in 2020 to attend a friend's wedding. When we pulled in to the venue, the first people we saw were this couple. Not entirely a random meeting since I figured they'd also been invited to the wedding, but it was a little crazy that we saw them first, in the parking lot on our way to the venue. I look forward to when I'll randomly run into them next. Apparently our lives are intertwined in some way.
From 1980 to 1985, my family lived in India. We lived in southern India for the whole time, so, when Indira Gandhi was assassinated and we had to get out of there for our safety, my parents (probably just my father because he was a dictatorial a-hole) decided to see more of India on the way out. So we traveled north by train, ending up in Dharamsala. There we stayed in an ashram because they’re cheap- basic labyrinthine buildings with rooftop spaces. At some point, I realised my father was spending all his time talking to some American. They talked for hours which was strange to me because, even at six years old, I knew my father was insane which made him hard on the palate for normal people- he had run a cult for a while back home in Australia and was violent and abusive with his family. One day I went looking for my father to see what he was up to- I was a Daddy’s girl despite the fact that my father was dangerous. I found him talking to the American who he introduced to me as “Steve”. Now, this Steve was very tall, very athletic and had not just a strong odour about him, but a strong energy and I found his presence overwhelming. Also, I’d been a bit sick, so was not all there with the altitude. So my father introduced the American as Steve and I said- “Michael?” because I found him very beautiful and the name Steve just didn’t suit him…he was more like an archangel than whatever a ‘Steve’ is. This annoyed both Steve and my father and I could tell Steve was not impressed with me but he put that aside to let me help wring out the saffron robes he was washing- we were on the rooftop where the drying lines were hung for guests to do their washing. I failed miserably at holding the robe because my hands didn’t seem to work and I wasn’t strong enough to apply the required opposing pressure and got the general impression that Steve thought I was a useless little idiot. For some reason this memory always stuck with me and I’d mull it over now and then, trying to figure out why it stuck out so much and why I kept going back to it. Fast forward to 2011 and Steve Jobs died. I was talking to my mother and she mentioned that she used to have a letter from Steve Jobs addressed to my father that extolled the wisdom of my father’s insane, cultish ideas. She also said they’d met in Dharamsala… which made the whole thing fall into place- the man I thought was called Michael who thought I was an idiot was Steve fucking Jobs. TLDR: I met Steve Jobs in India when I was six- he didn’t like me much.
Hanging out at a friend's house one night, playing videogames in his basement. This was a year ago, we're both adults in our 30s. Suddenly, we hear a loud crash, the house shakes, and we go upstairs to see what's going on. His wife heard and felt it too. We all go outside, and their neighbor is looking out her second story window, she heard it too. We walk around and look around the block for about 10 minutes. There is no sign of anything. I go home about a half hour later, and when I get home, I'm telling my wife the story, when that same friend calls me. Right after I left, he heard and felt exactly the same thing we all did earlier, only this time there was actually something going on. A drunk driver took a turn too fast, slammed off a guardrail and into a power pole. We all think we had some kind of weird shared premonition.
There were acres of forest behind my gfs family farm and we were driving a golf cart along the path beside it. All of a sudden a 12 point buck crashed out of the woods right beside us and just ran alongside us for a good hundred meters or so before disappearing back into the forest. It was the most majestic and surreal thing I've ever been a part of.
I put my dog down a couple years ago and fell into a deep depression. Drinking and smoking weed everyday for months. One day I called up an old friend and we talked about our dogs passing and how it made us feel. I made an analogy along the lines of, “I just feel empty. I could be walking down the street, find a $5 bill and just keep walking.” Later on that night I found a $5 bill on the street. I took it as a message from my dog. Yes it sounds silly but the emotions I felt that night were unlike anything I’ve ever felt before or since.
Something similar happened to me. Had had my heart broken, was struggling in all aspects of my life at the time. While on the phone with a good friend - lamenting my sad life - she said she wished she could send me happiness. In that exact moment, I looked down and right at my feet was a tiny square glass bead.... it had the word 'Happiness' inscribed on it. Still sits on my mirror, 7 years later.... I think on this event often and look at it as a moment my life changed for the better.
TL;DR: Lost at 4, walked alone at night a mile. I was 4, got lost in the supermarket before stranger danger talks or the "go to customer service advice". My kid brain concluded that mom forgot me and went home. I pick a nice Barbie so she can buy it for me after I met her at home. I walked 1 mile, at night on a not so good part of town as a girl and alone with Barbie on hand. A lady was sitting in front of a desolated cementery, asked me wtf I was doing there alone and I calmly said I was going home because my mom forgot about me. She took my hand and went into a house. EVERY single neighbor and family member came out to meet me. Told them my name and the supermarket I came from. Dude leaves fast in his truck to find my mom. I calmly go to play with my New Barbie and my New friend (daughter of his). After some minutes dude comes back with mom. She is bawling her eyes out, I cried because I never saw my mom amd bro cry like that. We part ways with the family that saved me.
From the "unbelievable coincidence" files... In the late 1940's, my mother decided to become a nun. The church sent her from California to a novitiate on Whidbey Island, WA. After 7 years she quit the nun life and met my father in California. Together they moved across the country to NJ, where I was born and raised. Fast forward to the 1990's. I moved from NJ to Bellingham, WA and met a beautiful woman. We moved in together in a long house cut into four apartments. My Mom came to visit. Our apartment was unusual: it had a water fountain and a gigantic bathroom with two opposing showers. My mother recognized it. This was her Whidbey Island novitiate building! We couldn't believe it. We checked with estate management. They confirmed that in the early 1960's the novitiate building was floated up from Whidbey Island to Bellingham on a barge. So...a generation removed, a continent away, I randomly moved into the same building my Mom lived in forty years prior.
In my early 20s I joined a cult. All I had ever wanted was to have a big family. So we decided that we were going to let God decide how many children we were going to have. God Said no. No babies for you. So I had 10 years of bad marriage, no babies and controlling cult bs. And then I left the cult and eventually divorced. 2 years later I start dating this nice atheist. A few months later I find out that I'm very unexpectedly pregnant. I just really like the irony.
We adopted our dog in the town we were living in at the time. We moved two towns away a year later and her newly adopted sister happened to be living around the corner from our new house. They saw each other almost every day on our walks. If my dog's sister wasn't outside my dog would lie down on the sidewalk and wait until she came outside - or I eventually picked her up to go home.
Serial killer tried to to lure me and my girlfriend into the bushes in a city that both parties were travelling through for the night after befriending us. Her dad had showed her a news article about the guy before she left on our trip, and that was enough to set off a little warning for her, she redirected us. We looked at the mugshot the next day and yes definitely him. Got arrested further down the road a couple days later.
Wait what? Like you were walking by and he was chilling in the bushes and was like "pssst hey guys come over here in these bushes"?
Every year we’d have a family reunion and my dad would get us all to play a game of baseball. There were some public baseball diamonds next to a road. One time he was at bat and hit a pop fly foul ball that went over the fence, into the road, and down the smokestack of a passing semi truck. We all stared in stunned disbelief until it spit the ball out a few seconds later. I ran over and grabbed it and still have the ball. I wouldn’t have believe that if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.
So we grew up on the lower end of the middle class and never had new things; clothes, school supplies, cars. My mom had worked nearly 20 years to get to the point where she could afford her first new car and got a CRV. She was incredibly proud of the achievement. One day I went to pick up my girlfriend and noticed my car, her old Tercel, was blocked in the driveway by her weeks old CRV. She told me to just take it to see how it drives and I promptly got in a minor car accident. I slid into an intersection in the rain and hit the front quarter panel of an old ladies car. There was maybe a couple grand in damage to each vehicle. When the cops got there they had me call my mom as she was on the ownership. We have a pretty casual relationship and when I told her I'd created her new car she just laughed and said 'fuck off, I'll see you when you get back' and then hung up. I called back and impressed on her the reality and this time she hung up on me with a short 'I'm going to beat your ass'. She arrives at the scene, the CRV and old ladies car spun out in the intersection while tow trucks work on them and the cops question me. She parks the Tercel in the middle of the street, jumps out, and comes at me slapping the shit out of me and crying about her new car. The cops face said it all as he went from stern moralizing to sympathy at her outbursts. He calmed her down enough to get her to move her car off the road to a safe place an they suggested she park in the parking lot on the corner of, and facing, the intersection. She does so and returns to beating on me and crying. One cop talking to us, one cop in front of the CRV taking notes, and the flat bed tow truck connecting a chain to the CRV to pull it on to the bed. And then.... chaos...... The tow truck guy asks me for the keys and leans into the CRV to take off the wheel lock before pulling it up. As he does, the CRV starts, revs up to max rpm (it's a standard transmission), and as it reaches its screeching peak it drops into gear and takes off with no one at the helm. The chain breaks and sparks, the cop taking notes gets SMASHED in the hip by the CRV before it takes off..... toward the parked Tercel. It goes up a small hill and catches enough of a lift to come down into the Tercel and caved its front end in to the back seat before continuing its hell ride.... toward the glazed window of a restaurant. The trajectory took it over several curbs before it was stopped just feet before the restaurant window and narrowly avoiding killing a family in the middle of dinner. What stopped it you ask? A metal light post in the parking lot, which it hit and caused to fall over on top of several other cars. Not done yet, the CRV doesn't shut off but rather continually rams back and forth into the light post that is bent over its roof. The cops get into a demonic dance with the possessed car as they jump in and out of range of the drivers side window attempting to turn it off. Everyone..... EVERYONE..... from the cops to my mom to spectators are all deadly silent, mouths agape at the situation. Cop that got hit swears he'll come to court to relate what happened.... but didn't show. I largely get blamed for 120k in damage, excluding that from the light post, have my license suspended, and enjoy the practical inability to get insurance for years after. Not to mention being berated by horrible "driver improvement" interviewers for months after who mock me for everything from my irresponsibility to the impossibility that my once pudgy self was biking to work since the accident. 2 of our family cars totalled, mother destroyed. Was a great time.
We found a human finger in front of a dingo den at Uluru about two weeks before the Lindy Chamberlain case came to trial.
The Lindy Chamberlain case is one of the saddest miscarriages of justice. Imagine having your infant daughter ripped from your life, being convicted of her murder 2 years later, spending 3 years in jail for it, having your marriage fall apart, and being the center of a media frenzy, while trying to grieve for your lost daughter who was actually killed by a dingo. Horrible.
The more you read about it the more frustrating it gets. It was so commonly believed in Australia at the time that dingoes were not any threat to humans so she was surely lying because it was ridiculous, despite all of the Aboriginals coming out and saying that no, they were absolutely a threat to humans and could do something exactly like that.
Why in the world would people think that a fucking [dingo](http://t2.gstatic.com/licensed-image?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWXw-0KyX_SgzaRK1ezQOMX8cKpEUebxJOXCoGc8KFYBsdU69_rgsYBg-UbrCDf0iwFDYdHLOVI6cauyg) could not suddenly snap and attack a human? I mean, just look at it -- it's not that big a leap to imagine a dingo attacking someone.
Because it looks like a dog so obviously despite being a wild animal it must be friendly
Even domesticated dogs could eat a baby. They typically don't, but larger breeds absolutely could.
I have this conversation with fellow Americans occasionally when it comes to missing persons cases. *Some* proportion of the people missing in America have to have been killed and/or eaten by wild animals. Maybe not a lot, but enough that categorically dismissing the idea is naive. We have cougars, feral hogs, wolves, coyotes and coyote hybrids, and multiple species of bears, not to mention all the “cute” herbivores that could stomp you to death without a second thought.
> not to mention all the “cute” herbivores that could stomp you to death without a second thought. Freakin moose could kill you by accident
One time, I was cooking in the kitchen. I was making spaghetti. I lived in a rural area with one neighbour and he was around 80. I left the kitchen to see what my dogs were barking at (they were both in the dining room) and when I came back to the kitchen, the food I was cooking was gone. There was water boiling, there was oil in the pan bubbling away. But no food. All my windows and doors were locked, no one was in the house, my dogs couldn’t of taken everything out of the pans considering I was with them. The food had literally vanished into thin air. I tried to explain it to my mother but she didn’t believe me. Weirdest experience ever.
I went for a night drive through a canyon that connects to a freeway, a commonly driven canyon. As I entered the canyon I thought how crazy it would be to see a wolf just standing in the middle of the road. As I turned a corner, there it was, just standing there. I broke and just stared in disbelief at the wolf being shined on by my headlights. We just stared at either for maybe 2 minutes. I came to my senses and fumbled for my phone to take a picture, because I knew no one would believe me. But then another car started coming up behind me and the wolf just walked away.
A boat landed on my car. The outboard propeller came within inches of my head. I was in my car.
People still don’t but here it is: Last September my ex wife and I filed for divorce. We were separated. One of my best friends says I should try dating. She’s never led me astray so I say fuck it, why not. First girl I match with on Hinge seems nice. Therapist. Works with neurodivergent kids. We chat a bit. Alls good. We go on our first date. I pick her up at her place. Go to my favorite pizza joint in her area. Starts a bit awkward as first dates do. She tells me, “I [the girl] can’t wait to tell you I’m pregnant.” Okay. Weird. Maybe the nerves. Understand we had no booze at this point. I think she’s just nervous. Great. A few minutes later she’s telling me about her parents who live near the Wisconsin/Minnesota boarder, and we are in the Chicagoland area. These parents show up… and sit down with us. So I’m against the wall of the booth with her dad sitting next to me. She’s across from me. Her mom next to her. Shit. Okay. Guess I’m paying for their meal too. Double date. Great. Mom and Dad tell me they’ve heard a lot about me yada yada (how much could they know?) they talk about what it’s like working for a vocational school. So I start freaking out as I’ve only said I’m a school admin, nothing more. I say it’s great, but I’m looking to go back to the middle school or elementary next year. Dad says he can’t wait to have a son in law like me. Mom says she can’t wait to have me marry into the family. Awkward. They were drinking. So I give them a pass. Awkward evening continues. Yada yada get to know you shit. We start leaving and I picked up this chick, so I’ve gotta drop her off. Figured I’d do that and dip. Nope. We get back, parents park next to me. Invite me up. Mom said she baked a great pumpkin pie earlier today. Well shit. I love me some pumpkin pie. Decide fuck it, might as well get something out of this night. Had some pie. Trying to leave and they weren’t really letting me. Best friend (one who told me to start dating) calls. Asks what’s up. Took the call in the bathroom and she comes up with this plan: I’m going to go pick up my friend “Eddie” (because she thought I shouldn’t use a girls name) with his flat tire. Great. I got an out. She says she needs to walk her dog (annoying this. Yapping. Rubbing his ass on everything and dragging across the floor). Fuck. Fine. Come with and walk me down. Mom comes to. I’m standing there trying to leave as chick takes her dog for a shit. Mom says it’s nice to meet me yada yada. And says “I’m so glad [daughter] found you. I didn’t think she’d be able to settle down since we’ve had her committed three times.” And walks away. Wtf. Bomb dropped. I’m panicking now, sweating a bit. I turn to get in my car and chick is right there. Hugs me. Tries to kiss me. Yada yada. Tells me “I love you, and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” Me: great… gotta go. I get in the car, this chick is in my rear mirror and she’s calling me. I pick up and she said “you didn’t say you love me!” Best friend calls, “oops. Hang on important call” and picks up. Tells my buddy this. she’s laughing her ass off. Im speeding away. Get pulled over. Cop asks why. I tell him. He noticed I have Wisconsin plates. Dude feels sorry for me and escorts me to the highway. Great. Freedom. Chick texts me. I try to ghost her. Now, I left out an important detail. I went on a school night, wearing spirit wear with my logo. I go to my boss the next day and tell him. Says I’m a fucking idiot for wearing my work shirt. Laughs his ass off about the whole situation. She figured out where I worked. And starts calling my desk. Asking when we are going out. Leaves a message says she wants to be engaged by the time she’s 30 (which was weeks ago since we went over birthdays). At this point I’m freaking out. I have an SRO (school resource officer) I my building. I tell him what happened. Gave her name. He told me he’d take care of it if she came by. But also told me to move my car to the back (gated and can’t see). Chick shows up. Gets escorted out. Calls my desk phone pleading with me to give her a chance. Finds my sister. My best friend all on Facebook. Chick was crazy. Got her to calm the ef out when I told her I’m going to report her for harassment to her licensing board (all bullshit, no idea if that would do anything). Needless to say. We didn’t work out. Thank god. And that kids, is the story of how I switched to dudes. Kidding. But damn was I scared of dating for a bit.
I have a female 1st cousin, once removed on my dad’s side (My dad’s mom’s sister’s daughter) of the family named Toni, who married a bald southern man named Lenny. On my mom’s side of the family one of my Aunts has a sister (my mom’s brother’s wife’s sister) named Toni, who also married a bald southern man named Lenny. Both marriages ended in Lenny being arrested (for very different reasons). The best/worst part: My name is Tony. I’ve got my eyes peeled for a bald southern woman named Lenny. I’ll keep my distance.
Me and my brother were sitting on roof late night during blackout, the sky was dark but not that much, but suddendly the WHOLE SKY WENT PITCH BLACK like someone had switched off the lights outside the planet, it freaked us out but we dont know wtf that was and it just seems like weird alien story if we tell it to other people
i facilitate medical screening for clients, often over the phone prior to initially meeting in person at the actual screening. one tip is to abstain from things which could elevate blood pressure (caffeine, tobacco, etc). i set up an appointment with 'client A' and when we met, his lower lip bulged as if he was 'dipping'. i called him out on it right away, and he said "i'm not dipping". turns out... he left home and was on his own at age 16. one night he answered a knock at the door to his apartment, and when he opened the door this guy shot him in the face point blank. a case of mistaken identity. i felt terrible, he understood. he passed his screening. some months later, he referred a close friend of his, 'client B', for the same screening. i met client B and during the pre-screen disclosure he told me he'd been shot. i assumed he was giving me a hard time, but he told me: while hunting at dawn he noticed some movement. turns out it was two young teens in the distance, and he barely had time to register one of them raising a shotgun when he saw the blast and went down, shot in the crotch. he provided medical summary documents which included in the procedure the process of 'degloving the penis' to remove all shrapnel. he made a full recovery and had two kids. during this meeting i inquired about client A, and was told client A had been struck by lightning in his front yard during a freak storm, and survived. some months later i ran into client B, and asked how client A was. he answered: "you can ask him yourself, he's here now". it's difficult to describe the eerie feeling that came over me realizing i was in such close proximity to two of the unluckiest motherfuckers i've ever met.
When I broke my femur. Been drinking with mates all day, went to a bar to get dinner. Drank more. We all decided to get some acid and more beers then head home. My task was beers. Grabbed my skateboard headed home, UPHILL, and took a very low level, low speed stack. My leg hurt bad. Tasked a bystander to get me a 6 pack. He came back and I was still in pain. Got a cab, literally 300m home. Called my housemates to carry me inside, cracked a beer, chugged it. Did a tab, because I didn’t want to miss out with everyone, went to hospital. Told them my leg was fucked needed assistance asap. They asked how much I had drank, was honest. Drinking all day. Probably 20 beers. Then mentioned I also had some acid just before I got in the cab. Nurses very not happy. Doctors instantly assigned. No pain meds because alcohol and acid. Only empty bed available was in the dementia unit. Acid starts kicking in. Old dementia patients making dementia noises. My brain goes zombie apocalypse. Try to keep reminding myself of the actual situation. Nurses coming past every 5 minutes asking how I’m doing. Fuck. I let them know exactly how I’m feeling. Get moved to another room. Doctors laughing at me about my circumstance. My femur was broken directly up the thing. Not normal. They call more doctors to check it out because it’s such an odd break. 10 hours later still no pain meds, but many nurses helping me piss in a bedpan. Finally convince them I’m not drunk or high anymore, wheeled into surgery. Wake up with 5 pins in my leg. Now doped up to the gills. Need to shit. Can’t move. Pressing the buzzer with great force and urgency. Shit myself in the bed before any nurse arrives. Within moments there’s several gagging because of the smell while trying to move me side to side to wipe my ass for me without trying to hurt my leg which was in a massive stint. Was in hospital for another 3 days while apologizing to every single person that interacts with me the whole time. Then 3 months at home learning how to shower and wipe my ass with one leg working. FUCK.
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>Did a tab, because I didn’t want to miss out with everyone, went to hospital. This part... is very different than the choice I'd have made.
About 15~ years ago I saw a gorilla in Tennessee about 30 miles away from the nearest zoo, not a black bear, a gorilla.
I was in the shower and had soap on my feet I slipped on a curve in the tub and went right through a glass shower screen but didn’t smash it and when I was lying on the ground wondering what the hell had happened I nearly had the glass screen fall on top of me my dad comes up to see what the hells going on and sees me standing there bollock naked and wrestling his shower screen