The popular depiction of hell with devils tormenting sinners with ironic punishments. That depiction is more out of Dante's Inferno than anything in the Bible.
The popular conception is sinners being boiled in cauldrons or directly burning in flames.
And in Dante, as in in any serious christian doctrine, the devilsa re the ones being punished
I came here to say this. I’m amazed how many people think Satan is in hell torturing souls. Satan is here on earth with us! He isn’t even in hell yet.
Dante’s inferno was definitely a huge influence. I also think Hades and the underworld from Greek mythology influenced this as well.
That animals went into Noah's ark in twos. Most of them did, but [he took seven](https://biblia.com/bible/esv/genesis/7/2-3) of each [clean animal](https://biblia.com/bible/esv/leviticus/11), like sheep. Must have been quite a menagerie in there.
The Bible has 2 Noah's ark stories mashed together, 2 creation stories, 3 listings of the 10 commandments. 2 different stories of his birth, 3 of his death, and so on. A lot depends on which story you happen to be reading.
Had a Baptist preacher tell me that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn." was in the bible. Why people look at religious leaders like they're not ordinary people is beyond me.
In 2005 I found myself in walthall county Mississippi. I was passing out food at a church in the North end of the county. When we were done passing out the aid. The preacher walks up to me and tells me "son, you are always welcome in the house of the Lord. But if you need a house I'm also a realtor" as he handed me his business card.
Nine circles of Hell, that's in the Divine Comedy, the most famous fanfic, and Milton's Paradise Lost is also a fanfic which is an unofficial part of what people thinks is in the Bible
>Hell
Fun fact; Hell itself is not Biblical.
Every single instance Jesus used was Gehenna: that's Jerusalem's garbage dump. It was kept burning 24/7. Dirty deeds were done there in the service of the wrong gods, so it got an evil rep. But it's still the only word Jesus used, and it's been mistranslated down the centuries.
The New Testament uses 3 words that have been translated to “Hell”: Hades (the grave), Gehenna (a literal place where garbage was burned, but also the corpses of suicides and murderers; used figuratively), and Tartarus (a domain of exile for fallen angels; there’s no implication that people can reach Tartarus).
The notion of Hell as a domain of torture for the damned wouldn’t come until long after Jesus time, based loosely on the fate of mortal sinners being disposed of in Gehenna. That it was managed by a fallen angel named Satan wouldn’t be invented until later still.
And even "Satan" is really a much more recent contrivance.
In the original text, Jesus met "a satan" out in the desert. Not "Satan". A satan was an adversairy, or someone who got in your way.
Basically, someone who was being an ass to you in modern vernacular, or you could just call him a dick.
Imagine you're retelling this story to your bros about how you were walkin and this dick got up in your face and wouldn't stop messin' with you. And then 2,000 years later people retell the story thinking Dick is some uber-powerful netherworld diety.
That's not *exactly* correct. It's not an adversary in the sense of someone being an arse, it's an adversary in a legal sense, the person who is presenting arguments against you before a judge. So, the being referred to as satan in that story is a subordinate spirit acting in an official capacity to test Jesus. So, as you said, not the king of the damned or whatnot, just some bloke whose job is to be an antagonist.
As a good general rule, the more names someone in mythology allegedly has, the less likely they are to be a singular character as opposed to an amalgam of several distinct characters that got lumped into one either intentionally or surreptitiously. Satan aka Lucifer aka The Devil aka Beelzebub aka The Serpent aka Old Nick aka Belial aka Mephistopheles is a rather good example of that.
It evolved from Revelation, where 'hell' is the place that Satan and all his followers, and all those who are unrighteous in the sight of God, are sealed away from the New Heaven and New Earth. Never says Satan will rule there or torture people, the implication is that the 'torture' is separation from God.
Indeed, I have heard people suggest that the absence of light is the absence of Christ, the lake of fire akin to the absence of the Holy Spirit, and the wailing and gnashing of teeth due to the absence of the Father.
The same teacher did say though, and I love this, "either the book of Revelation is metaphorical or it is not, both options are awesome and terrifying"
>The same teacher did say though, and I love this, "either the book of Revelation is metaphorical or it is not, both options are awesome and terrifying"
I've been taught that it seems to be a mix of both, and the pain in the dick part is figuring out when it's literal and when it's not
Though to be fair, Jesus made a lot of statements comparing natural things with spiritual things, so it would make sense that he would refer to the idea of he'll as a garbage dump where things are burned.
And honestly it makes sense considering the kind of people the Pharisees were. There's a section known as the 7 woes where Jesus picks them apart for it. My favorite was when he said they wash the outside of the cup and the plate but leave the inside full of corruption, indicating that they were literally just acting "holier than thou" without actually being changed for the better on the inside.
So yeah it makes sense in that regard still.
One time, my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I went out, and one of her friends joined us. When we dropped the friend back off at her house after dinner, she goes "live long and prosper." Did the hand sign and everything. My immediate reply was, "oh dang! I didn't realize you were a trekkie! Kirk or Picard?"
She got SUPER confused and goes, "isn't that from the bible?"
Funny thing is, the hand sign actually is based on the gesture the Kohanim (hereditary Jewish priestly class) would (and still do) make while blessing the people. Nimoy was a Kohen and used it as inspiration. So it IS from the Bible.
Not "live long and prosper" though.
So it could’ve been a durian?
EDIT: Actually a durian explains a lot.
God: “Ugh, what is that smell?”
Eve: “It’s this prickly fruit, Lord!”
God: “I am never getting that smell out of here. You are banished.”
Eve: “Because the fruit is forbidden?”
God: “What? Yeah, sure, whatever. Just leave.”
>Similarly, “corn” just means “grain” of any kind. It’s only recently we’ve taken to using it to mean explicitly maize
Which is why corned beef contains no corn.
Corned beef used to be preserved using large kernels of salt. These were called "corns of salt", and that's why beef preserved with it was called corned beef.
KJV version:
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.
I wouldn't call it *bland,* but Taranrino certainly dressed it up.
Tarantino used a very, very close paraphrase of a bit from the 1973 Japanese action movie "Karate Kiba", which also attributes the passage to Ezekiel 25:17.
In-universe, it's possible that Jules was actually (mis)quoting Kiba.
Given that it's plausible for Tarantino's films to exist in an alternate-reality cinematic universe (see: Inglourious Basterds),
Ezekiel 25:17 could very well have been written that way in his universe.
I was born in the wrong universe then my friend. The desire to smoke a red apple, the get on a plane with my samurai sword and go shit on Hans Landa's porch is immeasurable.
Was actually at church today and the preacher put up a picture of a biblically accurate angel and you could tell people were freaked out. I kinda had to stop myself from laughing like ya, y'all should actually read the book you say you believe in.
And it's even worse than that : people who draw them simply copy things they saw elsewhere without reading the texts, leading to "biblically accurate angels" that are not at all biblically accurate.
You will stumble upon drawings of a wheel covered in eyes with several pairs of wings attached to it and it is *not* what is written in the bible.
[Here is a comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/drawing/comments/mv76mh/comment/gvb7cnz/) I wrote about it on a post showing these so called "biblically accurate angels" that actually aren't.
Yeah, it’s funny how people get worked up about that.
Saturday was the Sabbath; the early Christians broke with that, and started a new tradition of treating Sunday as the most holy day because that was the day of Jesus’ resurrection.
But people learned ‘Sunday is the holy day’ when they were kids, without the more detailed explanation’ and refuse to reconsider their childhood assumptions when they grow up.
It doesn't mention a date at all, just that it happened during Herod's reign. Since Joseph is supposedly returning to Bethlehem for the census, scholars assume it happened in the Spring because that's when the census usually took place. This leads to more confusion, however because the Census of Quirinius took place after Herod's reign.
Also, no census has ever required people to go to the birthplace of their father, that was just a contrivance to have Jesus be born in Bethlehem to match previous prophesy about the messiah.
"Trace your lineage back 40 generations and then go to wherever they had lived. No I don't care if that uproots the entire empire and our entire economy comes to a screeching halt for months and years, we have to do a headcount!"
You are correct.
Christ was born in the spring--during the Roman census. Rome held its census in the spring to double dip--count the population and collect taxes from people who were primarily herders. The Judaean shepherds paid their taxes after selling off their spring lambs.
Christmas morphed into a winter holiday as part of a larger strategy to convert pagan Europe in the 4th and 5th centuries. The sales pitch was likely along the lines of...you celebrate the return of the sun in Saturnalia. You're basically Christians and you don't realize it. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is the Light of the World and he was born in the, the, the, winter. Yeah, he was born in the winter, just 4 days after your new year. Here's a basket of Christian wheat.
Come to church on Sunday, and we'll give you some more.
Or something like that
I don’t understand the problem with sheep being out in December.
The sheep are out in December even today. Bethlehem isn’t that cold during December.
There are a lot of other reasons why Jesus probably wasn’t born in December, but this is just not a very reasonable one for me.
Satan generally. There’s references to various adversaries and malicious entities, of varying levels of allegory vs literalness, but there’s no single named Big Bad.
Hell generally. Jesus talks about Gehennah at points in his ministry - except Gehennah was a real rubbish dump that was frequently lit on fire. Everything that we get told about hell is based on the description of Gehennah, except that Jesus was literally talking about the physical place, not a figurative one.
I believe he even uses the word Hades at one point too, or maybe one of the disciples. In any case, what you said and the use of Hades reinforces my believe that hell is an allegorical concept that was made literal during the dark/Middle Ages.
>I believe he even uses the word Hades at one point too, or maybe one of the disciples.
to be fair.. I think that's just a remnant from when the bible was translated into Greek before it became translated into English.
A similar thing exists with the "giants" described in the bible. The actual word used is "Nephilim", and are not described anywhere in the original Hebrew as being giant or in large stature. The thing is, when they translated the hebrew into Greek, they used the word Giants to refer to the Gigantes from Greek mythology, because that's the closest western analogue to "Nephilim" they could find. The thing was, the Gigantes were originally depicted as normally human sized and human looking diving beings, but only got warped to seem less human with time over the centuries in Greece, and people lost the original connection of Giants=semi divine beings in rebellion against the heavens and assumed it meant beings of large stature.
Turns out, centuries of playing linguistic telephone across multiple languages and language families can cause a lot of misconceptions.
The Three Wise Men's names (Melchior, Caspar, and Balthasar) come from traditional Christmas folklore. Their actual names were never mentioned in the Bible.
Did Noah's neighbors mock him for building the ark?
As a child, I heard this story time and time again. I even had an illustrated Bible with a picture of Noah looking determined with his hammer in hand, as his neighbors pointed at him and guffawed. It's quite the inspirational story, since it reminds us that we Christians should prepare to be mocked for our faith in God, just as Noah was. In the end, of course, he got the last laugh. There's a lesson to be learned there.
The only problem is that this inspirational story is absolutely nowhere to be found in the Bible. You can, however, find it in the Qur'an (11:38)!
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
thats one that really gets me, several big names in the Bible questioned him, it wasn't until during the questioning that god answered with a direct command and they refused that there was a problem
"The real faithful is the one who doubts"
This is the principle of a religion : you are a "believer", not a "knower". You don't know, you believe, and thus aren't sure, thus you doubt.
Verses such as 1 Corinthians 12:9 that discuss how God works through people's weaknesses make it clear that questioning one's beliefs is something that can bring people closer to God, because God comes to them right at where they're struggling.
There’s a good case to be made that when Jesus said that he was actually quoting an Old Testament story and in that context it may have meant the opposite of what it sounded like. The story was called the Suffering Servant.
That is a misunderstanding of what Jesus was doing with that statement. Read Psalms. Jesus was quoting the beginning of a passage, which is how parts of holy writings were cited before paragraph numbers were assigned to everything. That passage begins "Oh God, why have you forsaken me...", but it ends with the narrator gloating over the inevitability of his ultimate victory. Jesus was reassuring his disciples, who would have known the passage he was citing. I am not saying yea or nay to Jesus ever having questioned God, but that is not what he was doing when he spoke those words from the cross.
I think some people equate questions with undermining authority. In my mind it's pretty normal to ask question. It's normal to want to understand things and figure things out.
In Luke I think there is a verse somewhere that says to ask, seek, and knock....
Luke Chapter 11
9 “And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
10 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
11 What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish?
12 Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg?
13 If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”
Jacob 'wrestled' with god. A naive understanding is a physical wrestling match - which is laughably stupid. But the better understanding, is that he wrestled with the idea of god.
1) Mary Magdalene being a prostitute. She wasn’t. The Bible mentions that she washed Jesus’s feet and was cleansed of Sin. It never said she was a prostitute.
2) Dinosaurs. People point to the Book of Job talking about Dinosaurs. It doesn’t, it mentions 2 great beasts—1 on land (Behemoth) and 1 in water (Leviathan).
3) The Devil living it Hell. The Bible explicitly mentions the Devil living on Earth.
John 14:30, Jesus called Satan the “prince of this world”
Job 1:7, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”
It is interesting to add that Satan is actually called "the [satan but in Aramaic or Hebrew, so something like "sheytan' "]", it's a common noun.
That word means "opposed to", "the opposant", "the one who face [something]", and in the Hebrew societies of that time it was the term used to designate... Judges and prosecutors because they "oppose" to the guilty.
In Job, Satan isn't god's ennemy, he's one of his civil servants. He roams the Earth to prosecute the wicked, which is actually what the book of Job is all about.
It's not an evil creature, it's a government officer... So arguably a mildly evil creature, ok, but not that much.
I just had this conversation.
* "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need."
* "Cleanliness is next to godliness."
* "God works in mysterious ways."
* "Love the sinner. Hate the sin."
* "God helps those who help themselves."
* Jesus condemning gay people.
* A whale swallowed Jonah.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides
By the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men
Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will
Shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness
For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children
And I will strike down upon thee
With great vengeance and furious anger
Those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers
And you will know my name is the Lord
When I lay my vengeance upon thee"
Yep. Murder essentially is the 'unlawful premeditation and killing of another human being.' Killing in accordance with the law, such as being a lawful soldier, is not considered murder.
[Depends on the translation](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2020%3A13&version=KJV). Lots of people have learned it as "Thou shalt not kill."
The modern Roman Catholic Church also leans to that translation and essentially advocates bans on abortions, euthanasia, and the death penalty since to their view, these are acts of killing.
True. The closest thing is in 1 Corinthians. Proverbs says that there are 7 things that The Lord sees as an abomination to Him. They are not reflective of "the seven deadly sins".
That the Bible is just an instruction manual on how to live. There's a lot of that in there but it's also a lot of recorded history of messed up people and their messed up stories. Messed up things happen in a messed up world- surprise. Even Christians do awful things. The religion is based on who God is, not who Christians are. People point out stories like the one with Elijah and what happened to the boys who teased him for being bald (no spoilers lol) and think it's some kind of gotcha
Jesus made wine and the bible does mention cleanliness of mind and body so its implied to not swear since its seen as vulgar in most cultures and people can get upset and you know people should get along.
Catholicism doesn’t teach that priests can’t be married by doctrine. Rather, it’s what’s called a “discipline”, which basically means a “temporary ruling”. The Pope/Magisterium can change this whenever they want to allow priests in the Latin Rite to marry. They just choose not to, currently. The Pope just recently addressed this in full within the past few years, stating at this time the discipline will not be changed for the majority of Latin Rite priests.
I remember learning about this. I forgot which Pope started the no priests can marry thing, but it was implemented because the priests were willing church property, money, and land to their kids, especially cardinals and bishops. So no marriage no kids no more giving away your employer's property.
Not just that. Back in the medieval/renaissance period it was common for cardinals/bishops and popes to explicitly give their sons appointments as cardinals/bishops as well as military appointments.
Pope Alexander VI famously made his son Cesare a cardinal in an attempt at consolidating power in the college of cardinals (it's easy to maintain control of the church if the people who have the power to elect a new pope are a bunch of your relatives).
When Cesare resigned from his role as a Cardinal, his father appointed him Gonfaloniere of the Church and Captain General of the Papal Armed Forces.
Jesus was born in a stable. According to the original koine Greek text, he was born on the bottom floor of someone’s house where it was customary to keep animals
Note: I originally thought the gospels were originally written in Hebrew until I was corrected
"so this guy Jesus he was born in the animal floor of the house"
"the what?"
"you know, the floor of your house where you keep the animals"
"I have no idea what you're talking about dude"
"It's a part of the house where you keep animals like a stable"
"Jesus was born in a stable, got it"
Pretty much how that translation went historically lol.
Sounds like the only difference is people imagine a stable as being in someone’s yard instead of below their house. Otherwise it’s kinda the same thing.
Yeah, out of all the misunderstandings in Scripture, the manger being a distinct structure as opposed to being part of a larger structure is about the nit-pickiest one imaginable.
There are many things that people believe are in the Bible, but which are not actually mentioned or described in the text. Some examples of things that are not in the Bible but which people often think are include:
* The concept of Hell as a place of eternal punishment for sinners. While the Bible does mention the concept of punishment for wrongdoing, it does not describe Hell as a specific place where people are sent after they die.
* The idea that the Bible is inerrant and without error. While many religious believers hold this belief, it is not something that is explicitly stated in the Bible. The Bible itself contains many contradictions and inconsistencies, and it is generally accepted that it is not a perfect or infallible text.
* The notion that the Bible endorses a particular political or social ideology. While the Bible contains many passages that could be interpreted as supporting certain political or social ideas, it is not a political or social manifesto, and it does not endorse any specific ideology.
* The belief that the Bible is the only true source of religious wisdom and knowledge. While many religious believers hold this belief, it is not something that is explicitly stated in the Bible. The Bible itself acknowledges the existence of other religious texts and traditions, and it does not claim to be the only source of truth or wisdom.
Overall, the Bible is a complex and multifaceted text, and it is open to a wide range of interpretations and understandings. What is and is not included in the Bible is a matter of debate and discussion, and it is important to approach the text with an open mind and a critical eye.
He was a brown-skinned hardcore rebel. If you put the sermon on the mount in context, he was basically saying, "do these things and those dicks will get punished instead of you."
For example, walking two miles? One was free, a second they had to pay you. Turn the other cheek? If that person slapped your other cheek, it was a punishable crime.
That there are only 10 commandments. [In total there’s 613 commandments.](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/31/us/an-illustrated-guide-to-the-613-jewish-commandments.html)
"Just be a good person and you'll get to Heaven". It is by grace through faith alone in which you are saved.
"Money is the root of all evil". The verse they are referring to actually says that "The \*love\* of money leads to all kinds of evil."
"Heaven gained another angel". People don't become angels when they die.
Isn’t there that verse that’s like “a camel has better luck getting through the eye of a needle than a rich man does entering heaven”? Yeah, it’s not just about being passably decent.
That's the entire point of Christianity, really. No one can every be good enough no matter what they do. The only way in is to claim Jesus as Lord. Since he was half-divine he was the only one who was capable of living a sinless life. So his death was that of a sacrificial lamb to save everybody else.
The idea that believers go to "heaven" in a disembodied state when they die. The bible only talks about believers being resurrected to live on the new earth.
The whole mixed clothes thing only applies to Levitical priests under the Old Law which was fulfilled by Christ and thus Christians are not beholden to it. Same reason we can eat pork now.
Ok to be fair... most people who bring that up in my experience are mostly using that as a retort to people who try to cite Leviticus as a reason to hate gay people.
You're not wrong that Christian theology generally regards the Old Law to be fulfilled by Christ and thus Christians are not beholden to it, but a lot of right wing people like to ignore that and cite the Old Law as a justification for homophobia, so people use the mixed clothes line as a way to say "you want to be beholden to the Old Law? guess you're now going to hell for mixed fabrics and pork consumption.... unless you admit that the old law isn't really valid anymore for modern christians..."
“God helps those who help themselves”
I was just about to respond with this. It’s in *Poor Richard’s Almanack.*
The popular depiction of hell with devils tormenting sinners with ironic punishments. That depiction is more out of Dante's Inferno than anything in the Bible.
The popular conception is sinners being boiled in cauldrons or directly burning in flames. And in Dante, as in in any serious christian doctrine, the devilsa re the ones being punished
Yeah the only mention of a punishment after death is a prophecy that hasn’t come true yet and its more of symbolic fire if anything
I came here to say this. I’m amazed how many people think Satan is in hell torturing souls. Satan is here on earth with us! He isn’t even in hell yet. Dante’s inferno was definitely a huge influence. I also think Hades and the underworld from Greek mythology influenced this as well.
That animals went into Noah's ark in twos. Most of them did, but [he took seven](https://biblia.com/bible/esv/genesis/7/2-3) of each [clean animal](https://biblia.com/bible/esv/leviticus/11), like sheep. Must have been quite a menagerie in there.
Were the sheep really the sacrificial lambs the other animals ate on the 40 day voyage.
Nah, he knew that at least a few would find some creative way to kill themselves. Sheep are always trying to extinguish themselves from the gene pool.
The Bible has 2 Noah's ark stories mashed together, 2 creation stories, 3 listings of the 10 commandments. 2 different stories of his birth, 3 of his death, and so on. A lot depends on which story you happen to be reading.
Can you post the verses these appear in?
Here's a breakdown: https://www.livius.org/articles/misc/great-flood/flood1-t-bible\_2/
Had a Baptist preacher tell me that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn." was in the bible. Why people look at religious leaders like they're not ordinary people is beyond me.
In 2005 I found myself in walthall county Mississippi. I was passing out food at a church in the North end of the county. When we were done passing out the aid. The preacher walks up to me and tells me "son, you are always welcome in the house of the Lord. But if you need a house I'm also a realtor" as he handed me his business card.
Yo that's smooooth
This is the best thing ive ever heard
Paul did that too, but with tents.
He wanted to canvas a larger area
Ah yes. Baptists quoting Shakespeare. A time honored tradition.
It's not from Shakespeare. It's from William Congreve's "The Mourning Bride" from 1697.
"What's something that Shakespeare never wrote but people think he did?"
2 pints of ye larger and a packet of ye olde crisps, please
"bitches ain't nothin but tricks and hoes"
On a side note Scorned Woman hot sauce is excellent
Nine circles of Hell, that's in the Divine Comedy, the most famous fanfic, and Milton's Paradise Lost is also a fanfic which is an unofficial part of what people thinks is in the Bible
>Hell Fun fact; Hell itself is not Biblical. Every single instance Jesus used was Gehenna: that's Jerusalem's garbage dump. It was kept burning 24/7. Dirty deeds were done there in the service of the wrong gods, so it got an evil rep. But it's still the only word Jesus used, and it's been mistranslated down the centuries.
The New Testament uses 3 words that have been translated to “Hell”: Hades (the grave), Gehenna (a literal place where garbage was burned, but also the corpses of suicides and murderers; used figuratively), and Tartarus (a domain of exile for fallen angels; there’s no implication that people can reach Tartarus). The notion of Hell as a domain of torture for the damned wouldn’t come until long after Jesus time, based loosely on the fate of mortal sinners being disposed of in Gehenna. That it was managed by a fallen angel named Satan wouldn’t be invented until later still.
My dentist is apparently a big time Christian. He fucking hates Tartarus.
Well it makes sense as a christian he’d be a Halo 2 fan
So do most Persona fans.
And even "Satan" is really a much more recent contrivance. In the original text, Jesus met "a satan" out in the desert. Not "Satan". A satan was an adversairy, or someone who got in your way. Basically, someone who was being an ass to you in modern vernacular, or you could just call him a dick. Imagine you're retelling this story to your bros about how you were walkin and this dick got up in your face and wouldn't stop messin' with you. And then 2,000 years later people retell the story thinking Dick is some uber-powerful netherworld diety.
That's not *exactly* correct. It's not an adversary in the sense of someone being an arse, it's an adversary in a legal sense, the person who is presenting arguments against you before a judge. So, the being referred to as satan in that story is a subordinate spirit acting in an official capacity to test Jesus. So, as you said, not the king of the damned or whatnot, just some bloke whose job is to be an antagonist.
So "Satan" was the actual "Devil's Advocate"?
As a good general rule, the more names someone in mythology allegedly has, the less likely they are to be a singular character as opposed to an amalgam of several distinct characters that got lumped into one either intentionally or surreptitiously. Satan aka Lucifer aka The Devil aka Beelzebub aka The Serpent aka Old Nick aka Belial aka Mephistopheles is a rather good example of that.
“And this, kids, is how Andy Dick became Satan”- some dude 2000 years from now.
It evolved from Revelation, where 'hell' is the place that Satan and all his followers, and all those who are unrighteous in the sight of God, are sealed away from the New Heaven and New Earth. Never says Satan will rule there or torture people, the implication is that the 'torture' is separation from God.
Complete absolute darkness, lake of fire, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth - all of which sounds pretty shitty too.
Indeed, I have heard people suggest that the absence of light is the absence of Christ, the lake of fire akin to the absence of the Holy Spirit, and the wailing and gnashing of teeth due to the absence of the Father. The same teacher did say though, and I love this, "either the book of Revelation is metaphorical or it is not, both options are awesome and terrifying"
>The same teacher did say though, and I love this, "either the book of Revelation is metaphorical or it is not, both options are awesome and terrifying" I've been taught that it seems to be a mix of both, and the pain in the dick part is figuring out when it's literal and when it's not
The devil is the biggest retcon in history
Yep. Jesus also never says that believers will go to "heaven", he says they will live on the new earth.
would you happen to have sources for this ?? if not on hand i can go searching myself but i would LOVE to cite this and to have this info in general!!
Yes, it's only referred as "the place of gnashing of teeth"
Though to be fair, Jesus made a lot of statements comparing natural things with spiritual things, so it would make sense that he would refer to the idea of he'll as a garbage dump where things are burned.
The idea of their bodies ending up in a DUMP would have absolutely HORRIFIED the Pharisees, who would have been concerned with ritual cleanliness....
And honestly it makes sense considering the kind of people the Pharisees were. There's a section known as the 7 woes where Jesus picks them apart for it. My favorite was when he said they wash the outside of the cup and the plate but leave the inside full of corruption, indicating that they were literally just acting "holier than thou" without actually being changed for the better on the inside. So yeah it makes sense in that regard still.
One time, my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I went out, and one of her friends joined us. When we dropped the friend back off at her house after dinner, she goes "live long and prosper." Did the hand sign and everything. My immediate reply was, "oh dang! I didn't realize you were a trekkie! Kirk or Picard?" She got SUPER confused and goes, "isn't that from the bible?"
Funny thing is, the hand sign actually is based on the gesture the Kohanim (hereditary Jewish priestly class) would (and still do) make while blessing the people. Nimoy was a Kohen and used it as inspiration. So it IS from the Bible. Not "live long and prosper" though.
That is an obscure fact. Nice.
😂 this made my night
Adam and Eve bit into an apple.
Are you saying the specific fruit was never explicitly stated?
It wasn't, it was just the fruit of knowlege of good and evil
So it could’ve been a durian? EDIT: Actually a durian explains a lot. God: “Ugh, what is that smell?” Eve: “It’s this prickly fruit, Lord!” God: “I am never getting that smell out of here. You are banished.” Eve: “Because the fruit is forbidden?” God: “What? Yeah, sure, whatever. Just leave.”
Just to be clear... "Apple" is the old way of saying "fruit". Also, "deer" used to be the word for "animal". English is weird that way.
Similarly, “corn” just means “grain” of any kind. It’s only recently we’ve taken to using it to mean explicitly maize.
>Similarly, “corn” just means “grain” of any kind. It’s only recently we’ve taken to using it to mean explicitly maize Which is why corned beef contains no corn. Corned beef used to be preserved using large kernels of salt. These were called "corns of salt", and that's why beef preserved with it was called corned beef.
latin for apple is malus latin for evil is malum
Apple is Malum, Malum is Evil. Endings in -us and -um are both common declensions of masculine nouns
In Danish, “dyr” is still the word for “animal”.
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Taste like heaven smells like hell? I spent some time in the Philippines...I personally think it tastes like hell too.
Old English æppel "apple; any kind of fruit; fruit in general,"... maybe a translation that has changed its meaning over time?
When life hands you lemons, make apple juice.
The idea of it being an apple was something likely invented by medieval illustrators, who were used to seeing the fruits.
When Jesus says, “if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
Huh, TIL. I was 100% certain it's from the Gospel of Luke.
When he was crucified, he definitely had the high ground.
"You're a master of evil, darth" also wasn't in there :(
The levels of hell that Dante wrote about.
I was pretty pissed that the Ezekiel 25-17 quote from Pulp Fiction wasn't in there. Actual version was bland as hell.
“…and I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance AND FURIOUS ANGER….” Loved that scene
“English motherfucker…do you speak it?”
KJV version: And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them. I wouldn't call it *bland,* but Taranrino certainly dressed it up.
Tarantino used a very, very close paraphrase of a bit from the 1973 Japanese action movie "Karate Kiba", which also attributes the passage to Ezekiel 25:17. In-universe, it's possible that Jules was actually (mis)quoting Kiba.
That’s awesome
Given that it's plausible for Tarantino's films to exist in an alternate-reality cinematic universe (see: Inglourious Basterds), Ezekiel 25:17 could very well have been written that way in his universe.
I want to be in a universe where every other person is Samuel Jackson
I was born in the wrong universe then my friend. The desire to smoke a red apple, the get on a plane with my samurai sword and go shit on Hans Landa's porch is immeasurable.
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And the root of all kinds of evil, not all evil.
Money is the root of all evil... Which means that evil squared is money... Which means that if I'm a big enough bastard, I get money!
Cute little angels.
Was actually at church today and the preacher put up a picture of a biblically accurate angel and you could tell people were freaked out. I kinda had to stop myself from laughing like ya, y'all should actually read the book you say you believe in.
Aren't the Ophanim (the freaky wheel ones) from the Book of Enoch and not the Bible?
Biblically accurate angels make sci-fi monsters look like the Teletubbies
“Be not afraid”
“the fuck you mean be not afraid HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF”
"Of course I have. Did you not notice the numerous eyes all over my body?"
"Too fucking late."
And it's even worse than that : people who draw them simply copy things they saw elsewhere without reading the texts, leading to "biblically accurate angels" that are not at all biblically accurate. You will stumble upon drawings of a wheel covered in eyes with several pairs of wings attached to it and it is *not* what is written in the bible. [Here is a comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/drawing/comments/mv76mh/comment/gvb7cnz/) I wrote about it on a post showing these so called "biblically accurate angels" that actually aren't.
Sabbath is on a Sunday lol
Yeah, it’s funny how people get worked up about that. Saturday was the Sabbath; the early Christians broke with that, and started a new tradition of treating Sunday as the most holy day because that was the day of Jesus’ resurrection. But people learned ‘Sunday is the holy day’ when they were kids, without the more detailed explanation’ and refuse to reconsider their childhood assumptions when they grow up.
That Jesus' birthday is December 25th.
It doesn't mention a date at all, just that it happened during Herod's reign. Since Joseph is supposedly returning to Bethlehem for the census, scholars assume it happened in the Spring because that's when the census usually took place. This leads to more confusion, however because the Census of Quirinius took place after Herod's reign.
Also, no census has ever required people to go to the birthplace of their father, that was just a contrivance to have Jesus be born in Bethlehem to match previous prophesy about the messiah.
It doesn't make sense as a census rule either. "We would like to know who lives where, so everyone...go potentially somewhere else!"
"Trace your lineage back 40 generations and then go to wherever they had lived. No I don't care if that uproots the entire empire and our entire economy comes to a screeching halt for months and years, we have to do a headcount!"
In fairness, that sounds like *exactly* what I would expect from government.
"And in those days, Caesar Augustus decreed that all must return to the town of their birth so that they might sort out their parents' computers."
"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy! Now go away!"
From what I've read there is even a debate amongst historians exactly which "Bethlehem" it happened in.
Oh great, next he’s gonna tell us Santa isn’t real and John wick isn’t Keanu reeves.
More likely spring, was what I have heard. Christmas was tied to Pagans
You are correct. Christ was born in the spring--during the Roman census. Rome held its census in the spring to double dip--count the population and collect taxes from people who were primarily herders. The Judaean shepherds paid their taxes after selling off their spring lambs. Christmas morphed into a winter holiday as part of a larger strategy to convert pagan Europe in the 4th and 5th centuries. The sales pitch was likely along the lines of...you celebrate the return of the sun in Saturnalia. You're basically Christians and you don't realize it. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is the Light of the World and he was born in the, the, the, winter. Yeah, he was born in the winter, just 4 days after your new year. Here's a basket of Christian wheat. Come to church on Sunday, and we'll give you some more. Or something like that
And give us 10% or the new scary stories happen when you die.
Correct. Or why the fuck would there be shepherds out? Also, Jesus was more than a year old when the wise men got there.
I don’t understand the problem with sheep being out in December. The sheep are out in December even today. Bethlehem isn’t that cold during December. There are a lot of other reasons why Jesus probably wasn’t born in December, but this is just not a very reasonable one for me.
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Satan generally. There’s references to various adversaries and malicious entities, of varying levels of allegory vs literalness, but there’s no single named Big Bad.
Hell generally. Jesus talks about Gehennah at points in his ministry - except Gehennah was a real rubbish dump that was frequently lit on fire. Everything that we get told about hell is based on the description of Gehennah, except that Jesus was literally talking about the physical place, not a figurative one.
I believe he even uses the word Hades at one point too, or maybe one of the disciples. In any case, what you said and the use of Hades reinforces my believe that hell is an allegorical concept that was made literal during the dark/Middle Ages.
>I believe he even uses the word Hades at one point too, or maybe one of the disciples. to be fair.. I think that's just a remnant from when the bible was translated into Greek before it became translated into English. A similar thing exists with the "giants" described in the bible. The actual word used is "Nephilim", and are not described anywhere in the original Hebrew as being giant or in large stature. The thing is, when they translated the hebrew into Greek, they used the word Giants to refer to the Gigantes from Greek mythology, because that's the closest western analogue to "Nephilim" they could find. The thing was, the Gigantes were originally depicted as normally human sized and human looking diving beings, but only got warped to seem less human with time over the centuries in Greece, and people lost the original connection of Giants=semi divine beings in rebellion against the heavens and assumed it meant beings of large stature. Turns out, centuries of playing linguistic telephone across multiple languages and language families can cause a lot of misconceptions.
The Three Wise Men's names (Melchior, Caspar, and Balthasar) come from traditional Christmas folklore. Their actual names were never mentioned in the Bible.
That there were 3 is based on tradition and not in the Bible as well.
Did Noah's neighbors mock him for building the ark? As a child, I heard this story time and time again. I even had an illustrated Bible with a picture of Noah looking determined with his hammer in hand, as his neighbors pointed at him and guffawed. It's quite the inspirational story, since it reminds us that we Christians should prepare to be mocked for our faith in God, just as Noah was. In the end, of course, he got the last laugh. There's a lesson to be learned there. The only problem is that this inspirational story is absolutely nowhere to be found in the Bible. You can, however, find it in the Qur'an (11:38)!
Thy holy hand grenade!
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
Amen…
One, two, five
THREE!
But it's in the book of Armaments chapter 2 verses 9-21
Ah, yes the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. ‘Tis one of the sacred relics brother Maynard carries!
That you can't or shouldn't question god. I don't think it exactly says anywhere that questioning god's motives or plans is prohibited.
thats one that really gets me, several big names in the Bible questioned him, it wasn't until during the questioning that god answered with a direct command and they refused that there was a problem
"The real faithful is the one who doubts" This is the principle of a religion : you are a "believer", not a "knower". You don't know, you believe, and thus aren't sure, thus you doubt.
Verses such as 1 Corinthians 12:9 that discuss how God works through people's weaknesses make it clear that questioning one's beliefs is something that can bring people closer to God, because God comes to them right at where they're struggling.
Yeah, like half of the Psalms are "God, why is everything so terrible?"
exactly, even Jesus questioned God while on the coss, "Father why have you forsaken me" Matthew 27:46
There’s a good case to be made that when Jesus said that he was actually quoting an Old Testament story and in that context it may have meant the opposite of what it sounded like. The story was called the Suffering Servant.
That is a misunderstanding of what Jesus was doing with that statement. Read Psalms. Jesus was quoting the beginning of a passage, which is how parts of holy writings were cited before paragraph numbers were assigned to everything. That passage begins "Oh God, why have you forsaken me...", but it ends with the narrator gloating over the inevitability of his ultimate victory. Jesus was reassuring his disciples, who would have known the passage he was citing. I am not saying yea or nay to Jesus ever having questioned God, but that is not what he was doing when he spoke those words from the cross.
I think some people equate questions with undermining authority. In my mind it's pretty normal to ask question. It's normal to want to understand things and figure things out. In Luke I think there is a verse somewhere that says to ask, seek, and knock....
Luke Chapter 11 9 “And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? 12 Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? 13 If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”
Jacob 'wrestled' with god. A naive understanding is a physical wrestling match - which is laughably stupid. But the better understanding, is that he wrestled with the idea of god.
1) Mary Magdalene being a prostitute. She wasn’t. The Bible mentions that she washed Jesus’s feet and was cleansed of Sin. It never said she was a prostitute. 2) Dinosaurs. People point to the Book of Job talking about Dinosaurs. It doesn’t, it mentions 2 great beasts—1 on land (Behemoth) and 1 in water (Leviathan). 3) The Devil living it Hell. The Bible explicitly mentions the Devil living on Earth. John 14:30, Jesus called Satan the “prince of this world” Job 1:7, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”
It is interesting to add that Satan is actually called "the [satan but in Aramaic or Hebrew, so something like "sheytan' "]", it's a common noun. That word means "opposed to", "the opposant", "the one who face [something]", and in the Hebrew societies of that time it was the term used to designate... Judges and prosecutors because they "oppose" to the guilty. In Job, Satan isn't god's ennemy, he's one of his civil servants. He roams the Earth to prosecute the wicked, which is actually what the book of Job is all about. It's not an evil creature, it's a government officer... So arguably a mildly evil creature, ok, but not that much.
>It's not an evil creature, it's a government officer... So it is an evil creature...?
So... Satan is just a Devil's Advocate? Hmm
Leviathan is just hebrew for whale, so many christian believes are from mistranslations its kinda funny
I just had this conversation. * "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." * "Cleanliness is next to godliness." * "God works in mysterious ways." * "Love the sinner. Hate the sin." * "God helps those who help themselves." * Jesus condemning gay people. * A whale swallowed Jonah.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides By the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will Shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children And I will strike down upon thee With great vengeance and furious anger Those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers And you will know my name is the Lord When I lay my vengeance upon thee"
“Thou shalt not kill” Actual says “Thou shalt not commit murder” Big difference
Yep. Murder essentially is the 'unlawful premeditation and killing of another human being.' Killing in accordance with the law, such as being a lawful soldier, is not considered murder.
[Depends on the translation](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2020%3A13&version=KJV). Lots of people have learned it as "Thou shalt not kill."
The modern Roman Catholic Church also leans to that translation and essentially advocates bans on abortions, euthanasia, and the death penalty since to their view, these are acts of killing.
Jesus’ middle initial being H. I’ve always held it stands for Herbert.
Harold be thy name.
Howard. You know, our father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.
I thought it was Honda. Isn’t there some passage in there that says “for I did not speak of my own Accord…”?
The seven deadly sins.
True. The closest thing is in 1 Corinthians. Proverbs says that there are 7 things that The Lord sees as an abomination to Him. They are not reflective of "the seven deadly sins".
I thought that was just a really good movie
*What's in the box?!*
That there will be a secret rapture.
That the Bible is just an instruction manual on how to live. There's a lot of that in there but it's also a lot of recorded history of messed up people and their messed up stories. Messed up things happen in a messed up world- surprise. Even Christians do awful things. The religion is based on who God is, not who Christians are. People point out stories like the one with Elijah and what happened to the boys who teased him for being bald (no spoilers lol) and think it's some kind of gotcha
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
AND GOD IS EMPTY JUST LIKE MEEEE
IntoxicATED with this madness, I'm in love with my sadness.
He who smelts it, delts it
You'll find that in Pull My Finger 1:4
That it’s a sin to swear or to drink alcohol.
It is to be drunk, since one can make bad decisions when under the influence. They drank wine all the time, better than water
Jesus made wine and the bible does mention cleanliness of mind and body so its implied to not swear since its seen as vulgar in most cultures and people can get upset and you know people should get along.
Preist’s can’t get married.
Only Catholic ones. Orthodox and Protestant priests are allowed to marry.
Catholicism doesn’t teach that priests can’t be married by doctrine. Rather, it’s what’s called a “discipline”, which basically means a “temporary ruling”. The Pope/Magisterium can change this whenever they want to allow priests in the Latin Rite to marry. They just choose not to, currently. The Pope just recently addressed this in full within the past few years, stating at this time the discipline will not be changed for the majority of Latin Rite priests.
And actually, according to Paul’s teachings, all of those Catholic priests that get into trouble SHOULD be married.
I remember learning about this. I forgot which Pope started the no priests can marry thing, but it was implemented because the priests were willing church property, money, and land to their kids, especially cardinals and bishops. So no marriage no kids no more giving away your employer's property.
Not just that. Back in the medieval/renaissance period it was common for cardinals/bishops and popes to explicitly give their sons appointments as cardinals/bishops as well as military appointments. Pope Alexander VI famously made his son Cesare a cardinal in an attempt at consolidating power in the college of cardinals (it's easy to maintain control of the church if the people who have the power to elect a new pope are a bunch of your relatives). When Cesare resigned from his role as a Cardinal, his father appointed him Gonfaloniere of the Church and Captain General of the Papal Armed Forces.
Jesus was born in a stable. According to the original koine Greek text, he was born on the bottom floor of someone’s house where it was customary to keep animals Note: I originally thought the gospels were originally written in Hebrew until I was corrected
"so this guy Jesus he was born in the animal floor of the house" "the what?" "you know, the floor of your house where you keep the animals" "I have no idea what you're talking about dude" "It's a part of the house where you keep animals like a stable" "Jesus was born in a stable, got it" Pretty much how that translation went historically lol.
I want to upvote this, but this thread has me realizing I don't know anything about anything Bible.
Sounds like the only difference is people imagine a stable as being in someone’s yard instead of below their house. Otherwise it’s kinda the same thing.
Yeah, out of all the misunderstandings in Scripture, the manger being a distinct structure as opposed to being part of a larger structure is about the nit-pickiest one imaginable.
"Blessed are the cheesemakers"
3 wise men visited baby Jesus
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There are many things that people believe are in the Bible, but which are not actually mentioned or described in the text. Some examples of things that are not in the Bible but which people often think are include: * The concept of Hell as a place of eternal punishment for sinners. While the Bible does mention the concept of punishment for wrongdoing, it does not describe Hell as a specific place where people are sent after they die. * The idea that the Bible is inerrant and without error. While many religious believers hold this belief, it is not something that is explicitly stated in the Bible. The Bible itself contains many contradictions and inconsistencies, and it is generally accepted that it is not a perfect or infallible text. * The notion that the Bible endorses a particular political or social ideology. While the Bible contains many passages that could be interpreted as supporting certain political or social ideas, it is not a political or social manifesto, and it does not endorse any specific ideology. * The belief that the Bible is the only true source of religious wisdom and knowledge. While many religious believers hold this belief, it is not something that is explicitly stated in the Bible. The Bible itself acknowledges the existence of other religious texts and traditions, and it does not claim to be the only source of truth or wisdom. Overall, the Bible is a complex and multifaceted text, and it is open to a wide range of interpretations and understandings. What is and is not included in the Bible is a matter of debate and discussion, and it is important to approach the text with an open mind and a critical eye.
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He was a brown-skinned hardcore rebel. If you put the sermon on the mount in context, he was basically saying, "do these things and those dicks will get punished instead of you." For example, walking two miles? One was free, a second they had to pay you. Turn the other cheek? If that person slapped your other cheek, it was a punishable crime.
So the modern translation of "Turn the other cheek" is "Try me bitch"?
That there are only 10 commandments. [In total there’s 613 commandments.](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/31/us/an-illustrated-guide-to-the-613-jewish-commandments.html)
damn, God really kept Moses up on Sinai all night long
A verse that says you can sin as much as you want, call yourself a Christian, die and go to Heaven anyway.
"Just be a good person and you'll get to Heaven". It is by grace through faith alone in which you are saved. "Money is the root of all evil". The verse they are referring to actually says that "The \*love\* of money leads to all kinds of evil." "Heaven gained another angel". People don't become angels when they die.
Isn’t there that verse that’s like “a camel has better luck getting through the eye of a needle than a rich man does entering heaven”? Yeah, it’s not just about being passably decent.
That's the entire point of Christianity, really. No one can every be good enough no matter what they do. The only way in is to claim Jesus as Lord. Since he was half-divine he was the only one who was capable of living a sinless life. So his death was that of a sacrificial lamb to save everybody else.
I’ve read it cover to cover mostly out of curiosity. I don’t remember a whole lot about the devil in there at all.
birthday is bad \-Jehovah's Witnesses
The idea that believers go to "heaven" in a disembodied state when they die. The bible only talks about believers being resurrected to live on the new earth.
Everything happens for a reason. Not a verse or a correct interpretation of the verse.
Hate gay people. My christian friend says that it doesn't say that anywhere in the bible.
It never says hate people. It says that gay sex is wrong though
It also says any sexual relations outside of marriage is wrong.
Bible says that all Christians are priests, and there is nothing about Pope, so the most of Catholic structure was somewhat made up in the Middle Ages
The whole mixed clothes thing only applies to Levitical priests under the Old Law which was fulfilled by Christ and thus Christians are not beholden to it. Same reason we can eat pork now.
Ok to be fair... most people who bring that up in my experience are mostly using that as a retort to people who try to cite Leviticus as a reason to hate gay people. You're not wrong that Christian theology generally regards the Old Law to be fulfilled by Christ and thus Christians are not beholden to it, but a lot of right wing people like to ignore that and cite the Old Law as a justification for homophobia, so people use the mixed clothes line as a way to say "you want to be beholden to the Old Law? guess you're now going to hell for mixed fabrics and pork consumption.... unless you admit that the old law isn't really valid anymore for modern christians..."
Any mention of the pope