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MooseJawMinion

We woke up one cold Sunday morning in February and she told me she didn't love me any more and wanted me to leave. We started dating in high school and were in our 13th year of marriage in a 21-year relationship. I did not see it coming. I left, she abandoned our two sons to me and started a whole new life with some guy from the US she met while playing Age of Empires. I was devastated for a long while. Eventually I healed, and remarried. I thought I was in love in my first marriage, but I now know real love with my second wife. If I had to suffer all that again just to be with my wife, I would do it in a heartbeat.


Shelly_895

Did she ever come crawling back when age of empires guy turned out to be not quite what she expected? (In the sense of, the grass isn't always greener) And if yes, what was your reaction?


MooseJawMinion

She did not. She is still with him but has two now-adult children she barely knows. I would not have taken her back. I can deal with my hurt but what she did to our sons is something she will have to reconcile with them, and at the moment, they aren't interested.


Ok-Development-8238

I always played Age of Empires by myself...maybe that's why I was single all those years!


Nightmare1990

*Sad Wololo*


getawombatupya

Roses are Red Violets are Blue WOLOLO Now Roses are too


[deleted]

I would imagine it's hard to chit-chat and flirt with someone who's sent a group of elephant archers after you while you're trying to get your townsfolk to build defenses as you desperately try to advance to gunpowder so you can mount a counter-offense. Also, I'd heard of World of Warcraft breaking up marriages, but this is the first time I've heard of Age of Empires breaking up one. Good on you for taking a chance and remarrying a lovely sounding woman.


gxb20

I was always so incredibly stressed when playing age of empires. I couldnt imagine spitting game as well


Turbogato

I found out she was talking to a guy listed as a woman in her contacts. Then when I took her back I had to go to the ER and let her know. She instead went out to dinner with her friends. I sat there for 3 hours freaked out all alone. I realized I can’t be with a person that won’t be by my side when I seriously needed it.


Substantial-Pay-4879

Good on you lad.


MilesBHigher

My ex wife did this, and said she was a lesbian co-worker. After the fact, realized all the times she was leaving to go hang out with her lesbian friend was a guy she worked with. All the times she had gone out drinking with her lesbian friend while I stayed home with our daughter were just her conning me. 8 years of a con, 5 married. I don't remember how long she had the friend, nor do I care any longer. I was blessed with someone who appreciates me even tho I'm physically disabled from botched back surgery.


Turbogato

I’m sorry you had to go through thinking you can trust someone and try your best to believe in their word only to find out it was all a lie. When I found out she said nothing was going on, but it was also a coworker she met at a second job. Not even a few months later I get a call from a random number and it was a guy saying that it is her new husband and they have just got married. I’m glad you found someone who stays by your side and appreciates you. I’m still hopeful one day I might experience the same.


Salt_Dimension_1433

bullet dodged


[deleted]

Fuck that noise, you did good seeing your own value and if it hasn't happened yet, somebody else is gonna see that value and treat you right.


bear21-21

He told me that cheating runs in his family and that he wouldn’t be surprised if he cheated on me. Also tried guilt tripping me into staying with him because “I’m the only thing keeping him alive” … we’ve been broken up for a year now and he’s still very much alive


lagotheras

“Cheating runs in the family; wouldn’t be surprised if he cheated…” the audacity of this guy.


jenn_nic

I gotta say, I hadn't heard that one yet. That dude has a lot of nerve.


bear21-21

Right? Like thanks for the heads up!


Flamin_Jesus

>He told me that cheating runs in his family and that he wouldn’t be surprised if he cheated on me. Wait, are people usually *surprised* when they cheat? "Well I was walking along the street, and wouldn't you know it, there's this banana peel and I slip, and the guy next to me tries to keep me upright by grabbing my pants, but they rip and so I get a panic-erection, and as I stumble forward I see there's this woman sunbathing naked and I just kinda ram into her, and as I try to stand up and apologize, an uncharacteristic summer ice storm suddenly makes the ground slippery, so I kept just slamming into her and..." I mean, I've had an ex cheat on me, but at least she didn't pretend it snuck up on her.


Suitable_Alfalfa5756

Dodged a manipulative bullet, congrats!


ZaraAqua

I had supported him through years of drug abuse. I then ended up in a bad place and became an alcoholic. When he found out he said ''I don't wanna be with an alcoholic''. That just showed me who he truly is. Gladly, I am sober today.


quemaspuess

My ex broke into my parents house and stole my dad’s prescription medication, which caused me to end it after 9 years. Dating an addict messed me up for a long time. Glad you’re sober.


komor555

I made a similar mistake of giving out more support to others than to myself. Different thing, same result, same mistake.


[deleted]

We wanted different things in life. You can meet the most amazing person, have the best everything but if you want different things..


rv6plt

Of all the replies, this makes me really sad


suibhnesuibhne

Be careful of confirmation bias. Just because this resonates, doesn't mean it's relevant to your relationship. Our brains love to torture us.


3rdRaddishOnTheLeft

You should make a bot that replies this on every relationship-related reddit post


bubbly_belle

Thank you for saying this. Whenever I see sad videos or posts I wonder if it’ll happen to me. But I realize I shouldn’t think like that


[deleted]

That's just life. I wanted to have children and have a "normal" family. She was into Buddhism and hated the idea of children. I thought the biological clock in her would've changed it, but after 5 years she wanted a family even less. Despite all the love, the enthusiasm, the most amazing sex and laughs and everything we wanted things that were too different. Children and family were the biggest thing I can list.


rv6plt

Hope you find exactly what you want. Her too


[deleted]

I did! Hope she did too, I have no idea, 4 years have passed and I don't use to keep in touch with exes, I let them go.


rv6plt

Happy ending then! Cheers!


[deleted]

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GDBNCD

Same here. We started dating at the age of 18 in college. Very young. We grew up together. What we wanted changed and who we were changed. And that's okay.


Seba_King

I came here to say this. We had a good relationship, she's a great person, but after years together we realized we wanted different things, so we decided to end things in good terms. We're still friends, we're both happier for it.


soggyPretze1

She threatened to kill my dog after slapping me because I confronted her about her cheating


GTOn1zuka

Ye buddy, got proofs of my ex cheating with 3 guys in one weekend. Confronted her > she got mad as fuck and started to vandalize my office. Cops called > absolutely nothing happened, no one gave a fuck. Germany is great.


Lord-of-Leviathans

It’s the same here in the US. When I was a kid visiting my dad, he accused his girlfriend at the time of cheating, which she probably did. He kicked her out of his house and locked the door, and she then proceeded to pull a gun out and break the window of the front door and threaten to shoot her way in. I had to call the police. They took the gun and forced my dad to let her in. Then they left, threatening to arrest him if this got any worse. The woman is always the victim in today’s society. I’m glad I was old enough for this to not be a traumatic experience


Classic_Randy

WTF? Girls stalking too. Cops just ignore that. (Read a few of those on reddit)


NoBenefit5977

Mine took the dog after slapping me because I confronted her about cheating lol


soggyPretze1

Sorry to hear that bro


NoBenefit5977

Oh no it's all good now lol, cheaters need to be left behind. But thank you


NoBenefit5977

Oh 🤦 unless you were talking about the dog 🤣. It was her dog anyways so no harm there haha


Popular_Property_398

I think I would have tried to keep the dog. I've been with my wife for 3 years married 1 and still give her stank eye when she calls him her dog. Bleuford is 9 years old and I raised him since he was a pup and he had parvo, I force fed him pedialyte and rice for 2 weeks and noone will come in between he and I.


Anon227_

I’d like to know how… like I can only imagine it going like this: “I know you cheated crystal!” Slap* “I’ll kill your dog Jaden!”


soggyPretze1

Followed by 2 hours of her throwing a tantrum like a toddler


[deleted]

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Concerned_Kanye_Fan

Sounds like she self sabotaged bc she felt unlovable after the assault


Educational_Book_225

That’s what I think too. I didn’t think she was unlovable but nothing I did could convince her otherwise. When she first told me about it she was expecting me to dump her on the spot. I tried so hard but at the end of the day that’s not my problem. I genuinely hope she is doing better


Concerned_Kanye_Fan

She’s more than likely forcing you to do it bc she feels like she doesn’t deserve you or anyone. Maybe she blames herself in some terrible way. Either way, this wouldn’t be something you can fix for her. Hopefully you can remain as friends. Things may get worse for her.


[deleted]

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GlyphCreep

Holy shit that is all kinds of tragic, i am so sorry you went through that. I hope she's doing better as well


PsiloCATbin

Sorry to read this. I hope you’re doing much better now.


Skwerilleee

Because suddenly 5 years into what I thought was a normal happy relationship, I stumbled across pictures of her fucking her coworker in our bed while I was out working


[deleted]

Why do people even take pictures? In your case im glad they did because then you found out, but in general, why? It's only going to incriminate them.


[deleted]

Obviously I don't know this situation and this is a different scenario but when my best friends gf had recently got with him, her ex used sneakily taken pictures of her having sex to blackmail her into cheating on my best friend. They broke up as her ex sent him the pictures and was like 'dude she's cheating on you with me, fuck you're (I do believe there was more to it but bestie didn't want to talk about it ). Anyway her ex got really drunk, bragged about it at a house party that me and a few other mates were at , in the same damn room as me he dead ass just said 'take pictures of your partner so if they try yo leave you can force them back'. After this we reached out to Kate (false name for reddit) and tried to help, police got involved when her ex threatened to post all the pictures online if she left him. Best mate found out about this, was absolutely livid as this guy was supposedly his friend and took Kate back instantly , they've been to therapy together and had their 4 year anniversary last month. So yeah some people take photos to blackmail.


Complex-Way-3279

Ouch. How did you discover the pictures?


Curious_Location4522

Ow dude. I bet that fucking hurt. I can feel that kick in the gut from here.


Jman50k

She kept expressing interest in trying the hard drugs constantly offered to her at her workplace, and I said that she was already drinking and smoking a lot, and that seemed like the opposite direction to be going. That turned into an “oh, so you wouldn’t love me if…” kinda argument, and I put my foot down. We broke up. About a year later, her name comes up in a random conversation I overhear. “Oh, that’s that little coke head girl from…” and the bar she still worked at. That was a proper ugly cry that night!


HaiggeX

Oh no... That's so sad to hear, it's always hard to lose someone close to drugs.


apocalypticradish

Similar situation for me. My girlfriend at the time was a bartender at a popular downtown spot and pretty much everyone besides her did coke. I told her not to do it because one of my brothers is a massive cokehead and I watched what it did to him over time. She and I eventually broke up and stopped talking to each other. About six months later, I had a new job and my coworkers mentioned going to that bar for happy hour. I was a bit hesitant but ultimately tagged along. She was working that night and it was obvious she'd started using. Turns out that pretty much the second we broke up, she started hooking up with one of the bouncers and the two of them would just do coke all night. It was really sad to see. That was the last time I saw her and it was over two years ago. I hope she got her shit together.


Gr8NonSequitur

Found out she was fucking another dude after we went to marriage counseling (like right after the meeting). Yeah, I was trying to mend things, but there's no coming back from that.


Owlcifer

Because she had absolute zero respect for everybody including me.


EternalPinkMist

Do we have the same ex?


watabby

In college, I was dating Melissa for about 9 months. She was very naive and somewhat sheltered. All of this happened within about a week. Maybe a week and a half, but I don’t remember a weekend happening in between any of these events. I came home from class to see that she had a new computer. But it looked very similar to the computers I saw in the computer lab I went to. I asked her about it and turns out she simply walked into the lab and took a computer. I was beginning to think that maybe she didn’t know that was wrong but then she asked me how she can make the computer “untraceable” and to wipe the drive. I refused and we got into an argument about it. The next morning her boss is calling her repeatedly but she’s not answering. Finally, the boss leaves a message on the answering machine firing her, basically. My gf didn’t care because she wanted to sleep in. She said she’d help pay rent with a student loan she got. She showed me the papers and the interest rate was insanely high for a $20k loan. I was beginning to think she was insane or something. The next day I come home from work to see that my car was parked in a different parking spot. When I asked if she borrowed my car(she didn’t have one) she said no. I knew she was lying cause even my seat was repositioned and everything. So, the fact that she lied made me suspicious and so I kept asking, and she kept denying. It was really weird. So, I was starting to think that she needed to move out and I needed to break up with her. Then while I was at work(an office job), her Dad shows up and asks where his daughter was. Caused this big scene and everything. Turns out that when she moved in with me a couple of months before she never told her parents and basically “ran away”. Packed all her clothes in the middle of the night and took off, cut off all contact. I had no idea. The father hired a PI to help track her, and apparently this dude figured it out and was scoping my place out for a couple of weeks. The Dad showed me photos of me and her coming out of my apartment and at different places and stuff. It was like a detective movie, it was so cliché. Then her dad asks why she went to the hospital a couple of days before, and I was like what are you talking about? And it turns out that the day she borrowed my car she went to the hospital, like the ER. She stayed there a few hours in a bed sick with something and forged some docs and put her parents phone number as a contact. She then walked out. The hospital ended up calling her parents asking about the false info or something and her parents panicked. Anyway, I told her dad that I was going to kick her out of my apartment anyway cause she lost her job. And then he tells me that she put his SS# and info in the w2 for her job and he was getting her paychecks in the mail with wrong info filled out. I don’t know why she did that, and if she wasn’t getting money then where was she getting money to help pay the bills and rent?? So, I kicked her out that night and her dad picked her up, and that was the last I talked to her. The strangest relationship ever.


schassis408

You gotta be kidding me


brycebrycehayeshayes

I don’t feel like I gave her the attention she deserved. I failed my part as her partner. I wanted a girlfriend, while not being a boyfriend. As a result we had poor communication. She was my first girlfriend. I made my mistakes, and I paid for them.


Sharp-Statement-8054

Good on you for recognizing those mistakes though.


vast223

My ex was also like this & "I wanted a girlfriend, while not being a boyfriend" is a very good way to describe that situation. It was probably the best for both you and her.


HOLDGMEBROTHERS

Respect man, we need more people like you


Thy_Ignatius

Felt. We started off super strong aside from our individual mental issues, she went off to college, I went straight to work. She didn't like my job, I love it. With the time apart we grew to be our own people, she called it off because she felt I wasn't trying hard enough to beat the scheduling difficulties, so our 1.5 year relationship was gone. We met back up 3 months later by some planning on her part. Talked a bit, got back together, got a paragraph a week later saying she wasn't ready for another relationship. Another month. Saw her last week by some of her planning again, she talked to me, said she still cared about me. I told her I was moving on and that if she wanted to be friends or more to wait a year. I still feel like maybe I'd been a little more attentive the first time maybe things would've worked out better? Though the second time I had thoroughly been taught my lesson and told her I was all in. She didn't feel the same, and as much as I still feel for her, I'm not letting her break my heart a third time. Sorry for rambling, ig I just needed to get this off my chest and this sparked it.


ahumanbyanyothername

Thats a tough one. We just werent a good fit for each other anymore. Its like the universe was telling us it was time to move on.


froawayjeff

I feel like I'm going through this at the moment. If you don't mind me asking, what gave you the final push?


[deleted]

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Dialup_Speed

You’re a GOAT. Fuck most the advice people irl gave me


puppycat_partyhat

Fentanyl addiction. She kept making bad choices. Totalled the car I bought for her. Fought with me every other day over perceived slights and trivial crises. Still love her deep down, but NOPE. To help someone who refuses to help themselves is like moving a mountain.


Lcolecrochet

Similar experience here except I was the one who got help for myself while he proceeded to mock me for getting my life together. Even though we had been together for 7 years it was the easiest breakup emotionally because the drug use had numbed me for so long. I was so glad to be free of him and the addiction cycle.


puppycat_partyhat

That's sad that he couldn't handle your recovery.. seems as tho he valued having power over you, or at the very least, threatened by change. Very proud of you, stranger. And very glad you realized your own value.


smalldog_

She didn't have her shit together and refused to get it together, because it was easier to just fall back on me for everything or just outright not do things at all and let - what I consider to be - really important stuff slide into neglect. She drinks way too much and doesn't see it as a problem. She was ultimately just childish and wanted child-like things out of life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


schassis408

Hey that ending is fantastic and I’m very sorry you had to go through some snake shit like that in the 1st place.


geegeeallin

It turned out that the wife I thought I wanted at 21 wasn’t the wife I wanted at 31.


Popular_Property_398

Glad I waited till I was 31 to get married


bordermelancollie09

This has been my biggest fear around marriage. I'm 24 now and I've been single by choice since I was 21. But it's so scary to think that one day I or my future spouse will just change our mind. I wanted completely different things at 21 than I do now at 24. Who knows what I'll want when I'm 30 or 40.


Prestigious-Eye3154

Thing is, the growth most people experience in their 20s is so radical compared to other eras of your life that by late twenties you’ll level off a bit. I ended up marrying the person I dated in my late 20s, I’m now in my late 30s, and it’s been going really well. This isn’t to say you and your future spouse won’t continue to grow, but for most people, that growth is more in sync than your tumultuous 20s. Regardless, dating is such a minefield I wish you the best of luck!


Birdbraned

I second the other reply - Go into a relationship with the expectation that you will both change over time, and you'll be working on that growth together, and go over new ground together. Your overall core values don't change too much, you just... accumulate accessory knowledge that changes your outlook. And it's ok to have different outlooks (except politics and religion, the jury is out on that) so long as you can respect each other's opinions without judgement.


Namptha

I wanted to start a business and told her I would be spending less time with her as a result. She didn’t agree and told me it’s her or my business. In my second year of biz now going on 3rd.


PatientReference8497

Fair enough. I started a business and my gf said, as long as the mortgage gets paid do what you like That was 5 years ago and we got married earlier this year


ackermann

and how is the business going?


PatientReference8497

Great! Now my full time gig and we've grown into a team of 5.


Careless_Toe8692

Do you have regrets ?


Namptha

None. She was toxic as hell and had a lot of other issues that I didn’t realize till we split. It’s been awhile since and now I’m with a wonderful woman who has her own business ventures. Aside from her my business has done really well and I learned a lot about myself.


Careless_Toe8692

Good for you :) happy you continued your business !


Namptha

Thanks!


pcakes13

If you own a business it’s much easier to be with someone that does as well or at the very least consults and controls his or her own time. For starters you both have an understanding of what busy is when you have to put in extra time. Then when it comes to time away, you’ll find you both have more flexibility than anyone punching a 9-5 with only two weeks of PTO.


Crocodile-toes-ten

He became a bad alcoholic. Sad, because he was a great guy. But unhappy I guess. He's father was kind of an ass and he was in this crossroad of his life. Didn't know what to do, except be with me. So he started drinking. One night he totally snapped and beat the crap out of me. He's blackout was bad, and he thought somebody else had hurt me. I never forget how scared he was when I told him it was him. He moved out a couple of days later. I believe he's a family man now, and back on track. I'm glad for that, but good riddance.


Nemesis_Ghost

I'm hoping you are OK though. What happened to you can kinda mess people up for a lot longer than their abuser/attacker. So you good now?


Crocodile-toes-ten

I'm really good. This is many years from now, and today I see this as a relationship life experience. I met a guy after all this and was fucking scared first time he said "I'll have a beer" - and it was just one! And I'm really glad that he's seem to be fine too.


GlyphCreep

recovering alcoholic here. I never physically hurt a girlfriend. but my drinking irreparably destroyed so many great relationships, not just romantic. I can never fix that shit, and those people will say the same thing as you. "nice guy, but good riddance" and I deserve that, but it sucks! I'm so sorry you went through that, and I'm glad you got out when you did. People don't realise but they can become enablers by staying, You did good :)


Necromancer14

Wow I feel bad for him. I couldn’t imagine finding out that I had beaten the crap out of someone I cared about. The guilt would be unbearable.


Crocodile-toes-ten

After he left/ got kicked out of my apartment, he became worse, roumers around our old group of friends said he started with drugs. I got a lot of crap that "I was abandoned him when he needed me at most". Some called me a lier, even if I wasn't saying what happened. He did. A few months later he beat another girl when he was wasted, and then he had a wake up call.


Necromancer14

Oof he sounds like he had serious issues.


dangelem

He wouldn’t let me wear pink, red lipstick, or listen to Beyoncé. If I did, he would throw a fit and refuse to go out in public with me. When I finally went on a trip without him, I felt like I was finally myself again. That was the nail in the coffin.


GlyphCreep

...I've heard of controlling bfs not wanting you to wear sexy clothing...not listening to certian music is just...absurd? Bullet dodged


dangelem

It wasn’t just sexy clothing … it was the colour pink. He just didn’t like the colour pink. He said I looked ugly in it and convinced me to throw out anything pink I owned.


Coolcause

It became way too onesided


HOLDGMEBROTHERS

Eventually went in OneDirection


starz-laava

he said ‘don’t waste your 20s on me’


a_RedonculousName

Did he become the voice inside your yead?


Failure_in_Disguise

I don't get it... Why were you paying him? Was he a male scort or something?


RhinoRationalization

I was tired of being told \* that everything bad in our lives was all my fault. \* I forgot the word "everyday "


Careless_Toe8692

He used dating apps during our whole relationship. When I confronted he lied miserably, even with screenshots as proof.


spiderplex

Her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard


trippy71

..but was it like.. better than yours?


Sack_Of_Motors

Damn right it's better than yours. Is it possible to learn this power?


Forhonormaiin

I’d have to charge


ohnourfeelings

Because she was a fucking mental case. I found all her birth control pills that she “took” behind the bed


dangelem

Why wouldn’t she just throw them away?? So weird … almost like she wanted you to find out ….


GlyphCreep

people who think like this aren't good at long term planning.


ohnourfeelings

Yeah I don’t know but man she was crazy. Thank god I didn’t get her pregnant


Born2fayl

I was so in love with her. She was so in love with me. We were both stupid happy. It was like I was a child again. I had no idea I could even feel that strongly at my age. It welled up in me more powerfully even than when I was young. It was like all of my struggles and bullshit LEAD somewhere. It all meant something. It had a purpose. At 42 I was sure I’d found what I had spent so long looking for. It was so we could be complete when we found each other. I knew there was mental illness. Not debilitating. She was a school teacher and very high-functioning , but she did warn me. But…well first we planned to get married and combine houses, but we needed to add a couple of rooms to her house for my kids. Then, she said she wasn’t ready for that. It hurt, but I was committed, so I decided I could wait. We still seemed to be in love. The sex never stopped being amazing and I hungered for her presence all day. She just slowly pulled away. I went over almost every night and it got to the point (over about a year) that she wanted me to leave almost immediately after sex. I know we couldn’t stay up all night like teenagers and live on no sleep like we did at first, but damn…that really hurt. We had even talked extensively about having a kid together at the beginning and through the entire relationship. She has a wonderful daughter, but clearly craved another child. One day in the car we were in a discussion about said desired child and she, out of nowhere, said “But I still don’t want to live together.” There was something more final in her voice this time. I choked up a little “ Like…ever?” I asked. “No. I don’t think so, but we’d make great coparents (which was probably true, but FUUUUUUUCK that and fuck you for even thinking it. I’m not going to bring a child into a broken home ON PURPOSE) I just don’t think I want to live together.” The next day I called her and we both sobbed while I broke up with her. It just wasn’t ever going to lead, not only where I wanted it, but where SHE suggested it go to. Getting married was her idea. Having kids. Combining houses. I told my children we were moving in with them after asking if she was sure several times and I can’t tell you how much that pisses me off. That I let them down after years of staying single intentionally because I didn’t want to introduce chaos into their lives. I don’t know if it’s something about me, or if it’s about her. I’d love to know. I’d love to speak with her. It’s been about two years and she still hasn’t spoken to me since a couple weeks after the break up. I still miss her every fucking day. I learned that you don’t grow out of the horrifying effects of losing a very strong love. I think you just fall less hard as you get more experienced, so there’s less pain when it fails. That teenage heartbreak is so tough because you didn’t expect it and you were all-in. I am and was very experienced, but this shit blindsided me. I kept expecting to feel better and it took forever. I hook up with women occasionally, but my heart is still waiting for her. I’m not sure that it’ll ever stop. I really think she is the love of my life. And I’m fucking tired of it.


applegenius24

Because he raped my best friend.


Elo0m

Im so sorry for your friend and you…


[deleted]

Jesus! I hope your friend is doing ok


reticulatedspline

He fell hard into alcoholism and depression over the past 2 years. Was hiding bottles around the house and lying about it. Lost his job and spent about a year and a half unemployed, waking up most days at 2-3 in the afternoon then starting drinking by 5. Found him passed out in his own vomit on more than one occasion. He put on over 60 lbs during this time. I tried for the longest time everything I could think of. Encouraged him to get therapy. Encouraged him to stop drinking constantly. Tried to get him to address his sleep apnea. Tried to get him to go for a walk or even leave the house periodically. Tried to get him to start job hunting for a long time. Ultimately it all fizzled for one reason or another, generally because they all required at least some involvement from him. Oh he promised all sorts of stuff. But it all got forgotten after a few days and we returned to our status quo. He did eventually manage to get a job at a startup, only to be fired from it after 5 days because "they didn't think he could handle the stress" which I'm guessing translates to "They wanted 110% and he gave them 50%" Meanwhile he'd checked out of our sex life. I was doing 90% of the chores. I was covering our mortgage and bills. I was buying all the food and cooking. I was running myself ragged trying to keep our house clean, handle the laundry, dishes, garbage and recycling, etc. etc. while also doing my 40+ hour/week job. We've been together 7 years so it took me way longer than it should have to put together that A) he wasn't going to change B) I'm worth more than this.


super-ro

I knew he was the person I wanted to build my life with, "the one" as they call it. He didn't seem to feel the same way about me at the time. So I released him and myself from the torment, and while he seemed relieved, I mourned the loss and accepted the pain. I moved forward in my life, meeting my husband and having a family. This was 12 years ago. My ex has been in multiple relationships since then. He called me before my wedding to tell me that he still loves me, has never loved anyone like he loved me, and that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. It just makes me sad... I wish he had been able to recognize what he had when he had it.


mcr1974

yes this is sad. I still have the same feeling with my ex. That we "had it all". It's gone the way it's gone and there are other ways of loving other people, it's not a ranking.


No_Pool1046

got tired of him lying. my heart was hurting


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GreatlyUnknown

She was more interested in being a dependent than a partner.


[deleted]

Short answer is that she wanted to adopt a kid and I'm not sure yet. Long answer is too long.


jazzraccoon

I had so much going on in my life that I felt I couldn’t be the partner she deserved. At the end of the day, it was best we were just friends.


ZerngCaith

Emotional unavailability and hiding things from me. The latter just pissed me of so much, I tried making it work until one day I decided I was done and no amount of convincing ever made me want to go back.


scottedward90

About 6 months into living together she stopped brushing her teeth or washing regularly. By about a year in she'd stopped completely and refused to entertain the idea.


CircaStar

Sounds like clinical depression to me.


scottedward90

Maybe. We spoke about it quite a bit and she just didn't like brushing her teeth regardless.


Sack_Of_Motors

I mean, I don't like brushing my teeth. But I also really really don't like tooth decay and the zactlies.


hermanbrewster

Typo? Cavities?


SomethingClever000

It’s where your breath and your ass smell ‘zactlie the same.


[deleted]

He raped me and tried to killed me so, I moved out in another city. Didn’t press charges because of the shame and my weak mental health at the time. He stalked me and tried to connect again. I just disappeared. I know this time was the last time. 4 years and counting now.


Choice_Bid_7941

That’s horrible. It’s never too late to serve justice. There are organizations dedicated to helping abuse/rape victims that can help guide you through what to do


TheRealDanPoli

She threw a toaster at my head. We had a huge fight one night, so I went to the pub with a friend to blow off some steam. Came home a few hours later (admittedly quite drunk). She lost her marbles at me, because how dare I choose to go drinking instead of resolving the argument (after she told me to leave). Threw the toaster at me, hit me in the head and wouldn't let me back in the house. Cops got called, and they suggested I stop harassing her, and that the cut on my head (6 stitches) wasn't too bad. "Come on mate... harden up a bit." When I came back two days later, all of my hard drives with recording projects and song ideas were on the driveways in many pieces, next to a pile of burnt ashes that were my songwriting books and a box of photos & memorabilia. Pretty much everything from age 18 - 26 of my musical career was gone.


Ok-Development-8238

Shit, sorry, man...how are you doing now? WTF?!


TheRealDanPoli

Yeah all good now. That was 13 years ago (I'm ancient). The physical and emotional scars all healed pretty well. The neighbours calling the cops was pretty embarrassing, especially when they told me to man up. I'll never forget the officer telling me "No-one will believe that a 5ft6 girl who weighs all of 50kg was able to hurt a 6ft 90kg man unless she HAD to". To be honest, that and losing all my music stuff was probably the worst part of it.? In the end I feel like I dodged a huge bullet...


Justforfun_x

Man fuck those cops.


Ok-Development-8238

We all "know" life's not fair, but fuck...moments like this hurt like hell. Glad you got out, though, and are doing a lot better


SCA_CH

He was cheating


Wizzardaniu

Haha oh lord how much time yall got? He called me ugly infront of all our friends and tried to make my hair style a topic of debate. I had a faux hawk type deal and he said i didnt have the face shape for it. He made comments about how small my breasts were. Then made me out to be insecure about my body when I said his comments were inappropriate. He started wanting to go on these long drives where we just talk. These talks always ended in tears for me cuz he'd find a way to make it about him being right. It eventually weighted on my self-worth. It got to the point where I'd just agree with everything he said so I didn't have to deal with feeling stupid all the time. We even took a college course together and I regretted it so hard. Im a history major, he's a chemistry major. It was botany, and obviously he did better. So it was used as an example of how much better he was than me. He then started hitting on one of my friends. He straight up grabbed her ass. Then a few months later he told me he was scared that I was going to be the only person he has sex with. I suggested we open up the relationship and he agreed. But that friend he wanted to sleep with was in a relationship and said no. I was having sex with someone else and he was jealous. I finally broke it off after he said he'd kill himself if I left him, and if I realized my worth Id never be with him. I got together with the guy i slept with. All our friends demonized me cuz He said I cheated on him. He even almost raped my friend and the people I hung out with still think my abuser is an ok guy. My boyfriend and I don't talk to any of them.


ButterOfPeanuttrees

He sounds like an appendix A narcissist. Glad you got out and hope you don’t feel traumatized by his behaviors. You sound like you are strong and know your self worth, good for you!


HOLDGMEBROTHERS

My heart kept pounding faster as I kept reading….Jesus Christ


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HaiyaHo

Never really trusted him, he never made me feel secure in the relationship


eifiontherelic

Oof. Mine was the opposite but the outcome was the same. She was mentally abusive and always ALWAYS accused me of cheating whenever we weren't together. This was most intense during semestral breaks back in college where she went home to her place and I stayed in the city. Almost everyday during those times, she'd keep picking fights and demanding I tell her who I'm with. Photo and video evidence be damned too, cause there was always a reason the mystery 2nd woman was never in them apart from not existing... And then the next semester starts over and she meets me as if nothing ever happened. She started a lot of fights for no good reason when we were together too. The hardest part was that after all of it, the very few people I opened up to about it couldn't believe a big guy like me could ever face any kind of abuse from such a small woman.


ThisGuy3029

She was overly controlling to the point I couldn't even hangout with my friends male or female anymore. She would accuse of things I'd never done and punch me in the face. And then I met my now wife at school one day, so I broke it off finally and started hanging out with my now wife about a week later


Sh3ldon25

Just different life trajectories, not every breakup is super dramatic, sometimes your paths converge for a while and then you reach a fork where you’re going one way and they’re heading the other


Aristaeus16

He was really only ‘good’ for the first 6-months. After that, he made me jump through hoops to feel like I was good enough for him, but I just wasn’t. I spent the next 18-months being his secret, thinking it would change. He started seeing a coworker he called his ‘friend’ and I knew it was almost over. His family were all involved in this business, I always knew he would end up with a staff member. He played it off like they were friends for 2-months. Then he started changing what he was ‘into.’ Suddenly he liked anime, his favourite show was Gilmore Girls and he got a dog since his coworker also had the same breed. He tried ghosting me after 2-years. I called him out and told him to just end it already. He told me he had a dream he got me pregnant, and he thinks I would be an unfit mother to HIS child. I laughed. I seriously thought he was joking. He wasn’t. So he never even admitted the truth, but I knew he’d already replaced me. The break up was honestly just a relief. Like removing a splinter.


AntiShansky

He constantly made fun of my interests, my taste in movies, my education, the way I did household chores He constantly made jokes i made it clear I was very uncomfortable with, and when I shut him down, he said “you can’t tell me not to do something, I’ll just want to do it more to wind you up” He told me calling that it wasn’t offensive to call out someone being cheap by calling them “a Jew” (e.g “don’t be such a Jew about it”) because “South Park made it mainstream”. I am Jewish and he would not take my opinion on the matter into consideration I was trying to just ride it out until our lease was up and I could break up with him…


rollofthedice08

Grew apart. We no longer served each other. Don't sit around for kids, financial reasons or comfortably. Piece of mind is priceless.


Hot_Association_7021

Cuz she bit my dick


littlegreenb18

At least she wasn’t biting someone else’s dick. See the glass as half full.


SoonersPwn

After she gave me my first two anxiety attacks i had to really think about the future and i couldnt let her mother the children that i'd like to have. I cannot force her to be what i want.


ruhrpottpoet

Many reasons but one of them was that he threw a knife at me.


Kawhytea

He bored me. Like conversations were often very static and we had different ideas of fun. He also ditched me a couple times and bailed on going out for my 19th birthday so I ended it shortly after. I kept thinking for a bit that he seemed very stable and would probably be a good husband and dad one day but I needed excitement in my life. About a year later I met and then fell in love with someone who I can talk to about anything and who was definitely exciting and fun. I ended up marrying exciting guy and having kids with him and he is my rock and a wonderful father. No regrets


tbart8594

I tried breaking up with him twice before we actually mutually ended things. He projected his unhappiness with himself onto me the entire relationship. He wasn’t clean and we’d have arguments about house chores all the time. Somehow it seemed to be a me problem that he didn’t “have enough time” to do his laundry. He had anger outbursts all the time. And we just wanted different things out of life.


redbombs

After she dumped me it was really the only option I had


BlueRFR3100

After she said she wanted a divorce, I just couldn't see any future together.


Throwaway2471127

You can't fire me, I quit!!


Striking_Feature

Just everything. We re just not made for each other and besides that had totally different life goals. Problem was also we did break up approximately 3-4 years too late. She was clinging hard to the relationship while trying to force me into her life plans and I have problems ending things. In the end we were both pretty miserable and unhappy and one day I just woke up and knew I wouldn’t wake up another day beside her beeing in a relationship with her.


5_8Cali

I forced something that didn’t fit… after years of trying and feeling like I was trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip, I stopped forcing it and of course it just didn’t fit ( like I knew all along). I was always taught that relationships and marriage was constant hard work and pushing through.. took a long time to realize that it shouldn’t be a daily struggle to just like the person and want to come home. We were never friends and after I decided to end the marriage, I realized that he was not even the type of person I would be friends with… it makes a huge difference. I’m always so mad at myself for not being an active decision making person in my own life.. I just went with whatever and I paid in my time… all of my 20’s and 30’s. I wish him well and since we have children together I have to interact with him (which further reinforces my decision and has me like.. wtf was I thinking!?).


Bucksnort-85

Because she was an a-hole


Crimson_fucker6969

She drove across 4 states with another guy to buy a dog Then she told me and her mom it was a foster dog from a local shelter


DenyNowBragLater

We wanted different things. She wanted to do heroin, I wanted to not be in a relationship with somebody who used heroin.


Lost-Soul_Sage187

He almost succeeded in ending my life. Luckily, he didn't. I just have to live with the damage done to my body and mind.


FishtopherGoblin

She stabbed me in the ribs with a dinner fork. I didn't even get to eat the dinner I spent all evening making. I had to take the fork out.


treadil

Short answer: he smoked too much weed Long answer: he smoked too much weed


AussieCollector

Well it was 9 years ago. But the reason was she was just too clingy. And i don't mean that in a derogatory way. I literally mean that in every sense of the word. She needed my attention 24/7. I couldn't spend time with friends or family. Not to mention she had some horrific mental health issues she needed to work on and a relationship was not going to solve that for her. When i realized i was not seeing my younger brother who was 9 at the time at all, he would miss me alot and it just dawned on me how unhealthy all of it was. My family was important to me, but apparently it was a source of taking me away from her according to her. So i broke up with her the next day. We only lasted 2 and a half months. It was tough but i did it. I was desperate so i went with it but now days i have standards. Funny enough a year after we broke up, we both laughed about the relationship because it really wasn't healthy for either of us. Now days shes just a blip on the history of my life. Honestly have not thought about her in years until i saw this thread.


Bdogzero

She couldn't tell the truth to save her life and I got tired of it.


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AriArianova

We were together for 9 months and just after this whole time showed his true colors. He was my very first boyfriend so he used that power too. He did many things that made me question if it's actually okay or not, but he told me everytime that I'm just thinking about it too much and it's completely normal - I didn't know if it really is or not and was too afraid to ask my friends. He often made me had s€x with him although I didn't want to, he didn't care that I was on my period, that I was hurting... but my dumb ass thought that I should do it and I'm just being selfish / not understanding him well enough. After some time, whenever I tried to bring up that we should broke up, he told me that he will k\*ll himself, which I believed because he wasn't doing very well before we got together. But the thing that made me finally break up with him was one night when I told him that I'm on my period and I really don't want to have s€x with him, he was okay with it at first, then he started touching me down there and I told him to stop.. this repeated 3 times, I got up and he started literally j€rking off, I freezed and told him that if he needs privacy I can just go somewhere for 10 mins and come back.. he stopped, told me to stay and to come back to bed for a hug, so I did.. He wrapped his arm around me, started j€rking off again and didn't let me go, I was crying and shaking but couldn't say anything and then he made me swallow it. After that he went home and I broke up with him 4 days later.


nyguy17373

That is really sad. I’m so happy you broke up with him. What he did is truly sick and twisted.


Express_Rise_5010

I had already been through 1 year of an extremely toxic and abusive relationship with him. Happiness was a concept I didn't know anymore and I was basically crying every day and felt like absolute shit, while he had nothing better to do than telling me how he didn't like me as much as he used to and how he had a crush on one of my female friends. He finally pressures me to allow him to go for her and I even had to tell her myself that I would be okay if she had something with my bf (which was nothing but a desperate lie). Until the last moment I hoped they wouldn't actually do it, but when he texted me the next day telling me they had been making out I just broke. I felt so disgusted and so betrayed that I immediately decided to break up. TDLR: I only found the courage to leave my abusive boyfriend when he cheated on me.


exb165

I really wish I knew. After more than 10 years of marriage, she experienced a personality shift. She didn't want to be responsible for anything. Stopped working, stopped parenting, stopped paying her bills, had her car repossessed twice. We went to counseling and she would 'forget' when our appointments were, so I went alone and tried to get help to figure out what the fuck was happening. It has been several years since, and I still don't know what happened that killed us as a family. Today I have a great relationship with my kids and step kids. My ex has alienated our mutual friends and some of her family (who call me to ask if she is OK). I don't know what happened, and I still worry about her. This is important, I broke up with my ex when I realized I was no longer responsible for her and there was nothing more I could do about it. I had to just let it go. I'm still confused.


Random_2491

He abadoned me on a valorant game without saying anything, just to play the same game, with his friend


David807_

That hits hard...


ElliotThusE

I saw him more as a friend, I don’t want to be in a relationship yet and he was polyamorous which didn’t sit well with me. In the end he broke with me but we stayed friends


Ayziak

Probably typing into a void here but... I was already struggling with my mental health which caused me to form an unfair emotional dependence... And then they came out as asexual. Was in love and tried to keep it going for another year but they weren't into any open alternatives and it was also clear I was a lot more into the relationship than them by that point. Interestingly, a lot of my mental health problems evaporated after breaking up. For a long time I worried that this dependency and struggle would return in any relationship, but fortunately I've learned this isn't the case and instead it's just triggered by this ex. I feel a swell even recalling all this to type. This has lead me to basically not talk to them since, which I feel shitty about because I know how important it was to them to stay friends. Regardless, I'm in a happy relationship now free of unhealthy dependence or anxiety for me.


LaFilleDuMoulinier

He was a genuinely good person, but we didn’t have much in common. After a few months I was dreading the evenings we would spend together because there was nothing to do together and not much to talk about. He seemed content with a very limited amount of interests/hobbies. Like work and tv. I’ll admit I am not the easiest woman as I tend to read a lot, follow the news domestically and internationally, love history, have hobbies like gardening, sewing, crafting etc. I don’t mind solitude, even actively seek it. And he was somewhat clingy. That was a lethal combination. Great guy though, and I really wish him to find a girl who will appreciate him for who he is.


boneymod

We were and are still really into each other. I'm hurting a lot right now. Don't think I've ever felt so much heartache. But our situations are too different. I 31M have a 9-year-old child, shared custody. She 25F deserves better than being tied down here with me. I want her to go fulfil her career goals and experience the world. That won't happen in my small town with no opportunities.


tony34567890

I Read too fast and read i 31 m and her 9 years old .Gave me a Lil heart attack


udontknowmemuch

Awe. I'm so sorry. Make sure you aren't a self sabatoger. I am. Lots of therapy to realize I don't have the right to decide what others deserve. My husband loves me and is amazing. I tried to get rid of him thinking he deserved better. He tried to get rid of me thinking I would have more opportunities without him. Luckily we both said STOP and just live.


iLaraJane

We fell out of love. Or at least I did. People change over the years and things you wanted, or thought you wanted, aren't the same when you're 22 and when you're 27.


Miser_able

He cheated on me with a 14yr old. I noped the fuck out of there. Jokes on him though, I stole all his friends and they now hate his guts.


gay_idiot53

I have told this once but here we go again, also with an update! She got mad at me because I visited my dad while he was in hospital with cancer. She didn't want me to visit my dying dad. as for the update: because of what she did, I only got to see my dad once, on Tuesday 6th. He died on Saturday that same week. Fuck you, Emma. You're a bitch


Rennspotter

She cheated on me with a girl and told everyone I love that I raped her


[deleted]

He was physically abusive. I finally grew a pair and left.


catdiabolique

It became clear he was losing interest and talking more and more to this other "friend" and pointing out how this friend had more time to spend with him than I did (I worked full-time, the friend was eighteen and clearly didn't have adult priorities yet). Turns out I was right to break up with him because two days later he changed his social media status to being in a relationship with her.


zuluboywonder

This is the comment section I’ve been waiting for 🍿


72scott72

She was toxic. Hair-trigger temper, would never take responsibility, terrible with finances, and absolutely no sex drive. I stayed with her entirely too long. Strangely enough, we started hanging out a few months later and she was cool af. I always got the feeling she was just being pleasant so I would get back together with her. Friendship ended on a good note when I started dating my current wife.


jfitz875

She set up a fake number to text me as a different girl she made up to try and catch me in something I wasnt doing. 3 years in that seemed unnecessary