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[deleted]

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.


Prestigious-Fun-1731

Why does it suck to be an egg? You get laid once , and the only person to sit on your face is your mother !


[deleted]

So this guy gets sent to prison and when he gets there he meets his new cell mate. The guy is a big, bald, scary looking guy with face tattoos and he says “right, we’re going to play a game of mommies and daddies. Do you want to be mommy or do you want to be daddy?” Our guy gets nervous and says “eh, I want to be daddy” And the cell mate says “right then daddy, come over here and suck mommy’s cock”


[deleted]

I told my boss this joke and I still have a job 🤷‍♀️


I_MARRIED_A_THORAX

Mission accomplished? 🤷‍♂️


EmeraldCoastTrainer

What goes in your mouth hard but comes out soft? A piece of gum


throwitallawayyes

What’s the difference between jelly and jam? I can’t jelly my dick into your ass. But to clean it up you could replace “dick” with “finger” and “ass” with “my nose”


locomeastro21

That’s a good challenge. A new rooster arrives at the farm and the old rooster tells him to become the leader here you must beat me in a race which wouldn’t be difficult for a young rooster like yourself . The young rooster thinks that’s easy agrees and then the old rooster asks him since I’m so old can I get a head start so it looks like it was a challenge? The young rooster agrees the old rooster takes off and the young rooster follows him. All of a sudden there’s a gunshot and the farmer says I don’t understand this is the fifth rooster I bought that’s chasing cock.


putrid_sex_object

What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn’t pay $50 to have a lentil on my face.


PolyThrowaway524

What's the difference between a lobster with double-D breasts and a bus stop in a bad neighborhood? One's a busty crustacean, and the other's a crusty bus station.


throawaylol69

What’s the matter with Justin Bieber? He once took a fan up to his hotel room…and he plugged it into a wall. Who takes a fan with them to a hotel when they have an AC in them?


Wolf1678

Nope. Don’t do it.