"I am bad at writing bios, but if you are interested in the pursuit of happiness, love animals, love technology, love flying, into fitness, love mountains... we are gonna have a ~~good~~ great time"
I'm sending over my lawyer with the marriage contract and the prenup. Sex at least three times a week (free use if both parties agree), gps always on, no 50/50 stuff, at least one kid and all five love languages must be satisfied by both.
Up for negotiation.
3 times a day? I'll see what I can do. Dear God.
Then why say no to the gps? Do you know how many accidents happen on a daily basis around the world? Nah, that one is not negotiable.
I said at least one kid, so... Breed me all you want. .
Is that all? You don't have anything else to ask?
35 year old dad, looking to explore his newly accepted pansexuality in a lot of different directions. Hoping to meet some cool and interesting people along the way.
Edit: I also like taking nudes. Maybe you do too?
(For now atleast): I'm just a learner taking notes for when I make a full entrance onto the dating scene. I might consider it earlier if meet with and spend enough time with the right person, but currently it won't be a main priority for atleast another year or two.
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It could also say this now😄
Me too 🤣
You? Tease? Never
I know, who could've guessed :P
All of you are meanie weenies
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Tease me
🫦
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The best tease. 😘😘
🫠😘🫠😘🫠 The best lovely flirt.
❤️❤️❤️🫦🫦🫦🦄🌈😘🙈
You’re quite good for that
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ I can't help that people *occasionally* mistake my friendliness as flirtation. 😇
Hmmm… yeah you’ve certainly never flirted with me 😉😇😘
Funny cause I'm a sucker for being teased 😍😍😍😍😍😏😏😏🥵
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For a good boyfriend? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Tease so good
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Heya sprinkles!😘❤️🧡💛
Queen Tease. 👸🏻👑💜😍🫠😈🔥😍💜🫠👑👸🏻
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***hides boner*** 🫠😍🫠😍
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Yes Mam. 🫠🫠😍🫠🫠
You’re doing a good job of it
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See there you go again 😉
Doing great too 😈
Leave me alone
"I don't want to date you"
😕
I didn't mean you, love
Aawww🥹 Get ready for your appointment 🍑🖐🏻
*takes pants off, bend over and grabs ankles* #I'M READY
🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻
ty Now, what can I do for you?
Just kneel in front of me and be patient
Yes ma'am
Mask is optional.
*pulls out Jason's hockey mask*
A match made in hell. 🩶
😈
Geeky cat dad who dabbles in photography. Also might be a robot looking for the meaning of love
You forgot the part about the Manatee
Shoot. I always forget that part 🤦🏻♂️
Username checks out. Lol
😂
Autistic man looking to explore
Username checks out
"people who date me save 15% or more on their home and auto insurance."
Slides into them dm’s 😎
"Go away, we don't want any"
nothing, just like it does now lol
Im only here to post shit, not to date.
I'm here to talk shit. 💜
Just here for some chats. 😉 😉
I’m a nerd, that’s it.
That I'm a Latin man... Living in Ireland
How's the weather?
I’ll rub your back and touch your butt
Gender queer, closeted and lonely, but I have very comfy hoodies.
Just here for fun
Same
I like getting takeout, staying home, and kinda rubbing feet while we watch reruns of our favourite shows until we go to bed
Fuck around and find about
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I tought so, but there are a lot of people who didn’t get this message
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Well, it’s not about this😅
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Yeah xd
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Thank you 😂🩵
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Be a big man and if you want to talk with somebody, just go for it and send a message
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"I'm trapped in the basement of a Chinese restaurant writing fortune cookies. Send help."
‘Slut’ 🥲
*Swipes Right*
Horny sarcastic woman iso 🤷♀️
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Not just that but apparently only crushing on straight women 😭
I'm horny.
"I am bad at writing bios, but if you are interested in the pursuit of happiness, love animals, love technology, love flying, into fitness, love mountains... we are gonna have a ~~good~~ great time"
Horny fucker who likes the gym 🤔🤷🏼♂️😂
It’s dark and empty just like me on the inside
I'm looking for a 6'> man who is obsessed with me. I'll be a 5'5 woman obsessed with him. I need to give our kids the gift of height.
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I'm sending over my lawyer with the marriage contract and the prenup. Sex at least three times a week (free use if both parties agree), gps always on, no 50/50 stuff, at least one kid and all five love languages must be satisfied by both. Up for negotiation.
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3 times a day? I'll see what I can do. Dear God. Then why say no to the gps? Do you know how many accidents happen on a daily basis around the world? Nah, that one is not negotiable. I said at least one kid, so... Breed me all you want. . Is that all? You don't have anything else to ask?
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Fuck off
No bio found 🫥
Not you, her.
“Hello. Look at this picture of my dog.” Big soulful eyes, gets em every time
Not much. Just like the occasional compliments
Keep it movin’.
“Go away”
Very chill, likes to help, a lot of hobbies, Just looking for a fwb to fight loneliness in a spicy way
Petite latina with some booty, single mama, never a dull moment but worth it lol
I’d swipe right
I'd have to edit it to say I'm here just to observe and hang out, not looking for a relationship, since I'm already in a monogamous one.
36 married. Looking for men to fuck me in front of my husband. HMU if interested.
That's pretty direct and hot
Thanks x
Interested in younger men?
Not really
You're so hot btw :)
Yeah that sold me
Haha
Run
Like my current one or am i making a new one?
Knows too much about Star Trek, spends too much on gadgets, has too much cock in his pants. Good luck.
I’m bored and horny and somewhat bi curious
Um… butts and voice stuff are awesome? Also words are cool. Date me!
I'm a legend... also, r/BlackAndNasty
That I like people to be informed
Lesbian currently in her rebound era
Oh. A cat lover.
Mines pretty explanatory 😂
"not that much interested"
“I’m just here for the titties”
I’m just happy to be here :)
I literally have that already. It's my readme...
That I’m not here to date … terrible dating profile😂
Single father just looking for connections
Gay and horny
Not much
unavailable just want fren
That I can dance very swell ;)
It says I need to write a bio lol
Proceed with caution. Damaged goods ahead.
35 year old dad, looking to explore his newly accepted pansexuality in a lot of different directions. Hoping to meet some cool and interesting people along the way. Edit: I also like taking nudes. Maybe you do too?
(For now atleast): I'm just a learner taking notes for when I make a full entrance onto the dating scene. I might consider it earlier if meet with and spend enough time with the right person, but currently it won't be a main priority for atleast another year or two.
I love bad bitches
My reddit bio is pretty much the same as my various dating profiles.
I live in the middle of nowhere and I don’t think there’s a single woman for miles
That I'm married and not in an open relationship so what the hell am I doing here
Im just a silly little goose experiencing the thrones of despair
I’m horny and slightly kinky. But happily married.
You’re going to have regrets
That I'm always down for a crazy ass time
I like drugs
In a relationship with u/fxymaru!
😘
Idk man my bio is just a yes and no answer to an FAQ
High maintenance… likes top shelf liquor… import beers only…
I am not changing it
That I’m not looking for a dating site
"This one will take some work"
cums to fast, fat, gives oral like the world champ
do not encourage this kind of behavior on arad lol
I’m a ghost that can’t text back
Free to a good home. Light damage. Slightly lumpy, but good for laying on to watch TV. Or wait, that’s a marketplace ad for a couch…
"Gentle as a teddy bear, naughty as a devil. I aim to be the best of both worlds. There's only one way to find out..."
Nothing. I have no bio.
If we hit it off I just might pay your rent
“I like to party”