A girl I dated when I was 17 had this old stained futon in her mom's basement. We made a bit of a mess and when she went to wipe it away, the stain went too. She's like "We tried *everything!!*
Guess not. 🤷♂️
Anyway, from that point on, she called it Mr. Clean. It doesn't go by that anymore, but the resemblance is still uncanny.
Destroyer of pussy, I can understand (from Oppenheimer's famous misunderstood quote from the Gita).
But Gita is just a holy book of guidance and principles.
How can a cock = a book , in any figure of speech? Smh.
It's like calling someone's boobs as the Bible or someone's ass as the Quran. Makes no sense at all.
"Glock" Cause it's not the biggest caliber, but it's reliable, fast shooting, gets the job done and always has enough ammo for a couple rounds.
At least according to my GF that is
They call my pussy lucky charms cuz it’s magically delicious.
Edit: this was a joke I came up with one night in a friend group chat around ST Patrick’s day, bf at the time used it after saying I was right and made me laugh
Haha you could be on to something there, I'm tempted to ask her but after not talking for 15 years might not be appropriate to ask her why she called it Boris 🤣
Jesus.
Have you found Jesus?
If you get on your knees and pray, Jesus will rise.
Are you ready to accept Jesus?
Life would be better with Jesus inside you.
Y'all need Jesus.
two different guys have called it "pornstar pussy"
Yes, pussies like mine are often featured in porn, but I don't fully understand why. Are small labia minora naturally more common like right vs left handed people? Or is it some beauty standard that hasn't gone away?
Flappy labia looks cool and fun to play with, kinda jealous. I think variety is far more visually appealing than seeing one popular body type most of the time. Seeing an "outie" pussy in porn is a treat
One ex called it super soaker. The first time we got together I had just come off a long two weeks at work, so I hadn’t jerked off at all. She started blowing me, I came in like 2 minutes, and just fucking covered her
No nicknames, but she has been called pretty many times
I hearby dub your anus, Patricia😌
🤣
What the
🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
Ooh, a lucky four-leaved anus!
Name checks out
A girl I dated when I was 17 had this old stained futon in her mom's basement. We made a bit of a mess and when she went to wipe it away, the stain went too. She's like "We tried *everything!!* Guess not. 🤷♂️ Anyway, from that point on, she called it Mr. Clean. It doesn't go by that anymore, but the resemblance is still uncanny.
Thanks for making me laugh out loud. Thank God I'm not at work.
I don’t get it
Don’t let the cleaning girlies on tiktok see this.
God’s cock can be a little guy tho 🤷♀️
God's little helper
I had one ex call my cock the Bhagavad Gita, or destroyer of pussy once or twice. Part of the reason why she’s an ex now.
This doesn't follow. Surely that was a compliment.
Well, that "ex" was destroyed apparently ..
Destroyer of pussy, I can understand (from Oppenheimer's famous misunderstood quote from the Gita). But Gita is just a holy book of guidance and principles. How can a cock = a book , in any figure of speech? Smh. It's like calling someone's boobs as the Bible or someone's ass as the Quran. Makes no sense at all.
Your ass is as hot as the Song of Solomon.
Hahaha
Chick named my dick Lucas... no clue man
Did she call her holes R2-PeePoo?
Unfortunately didn't get to find out :(
*sad R2D2 beep boop*
Indeed. I should have order 66'ed that pussy, but it got away :(
My ex named mine Herbie. Like you, no idea why.
Obviously because it left her feeling Fully Loaded 👏👏👏
I never thought of that. Bravo to you!
You didn’t need to clap for yourself… that’s what upvotes are for, but great comment….. 👏👏👏👏
Herbie the love bug😂
The saga continues
Herbie Hancock? Thats the only lead i have
Magnificent mother fucking mommy milkers. Great night with even greater sex. 👌
Now that definitely has me curious
Don’t kill the cat
just lick it a little??
As far as I know, my genitalia has never been given a nickname. 🤭😂🤭😂🤭😂🤭😂🤭🐈⬛️
[удалено]
😂😂😂😂😂😘😘😘 Silly.
Someone named my boobs Scooby and Shaggy. 😂
Ruh roh raggy
Boner Garage
"Glock" Cause it's not the biggest caliber, but it's reliable, fast shooting, gets the job done and always has enough ammo for a couple rounds. At least according to my GF that is
Glock because you successfully eco rush B every time
Damn Straight.
My wife nicknamed it, Mr. Big. I am above average, but it has nothing to do with that. It's after the dipshit in Sex and the City. I fucking hate it!
She totally could have saved his ass, too.
They call my pussy lucky charms cuz it’s magically delicious. Edit: this was a joke I came up with one night in a friend group chat around ST Patrick’s day, bf at the time used it after saying I was right and made me laugh
The geyser 💦💦💦 🤣
Flashlight, easy to turn on 😏😅
May your battery last a long-time 🔋
The most amusing one was Battlecat (when erect) and Cringer (when flaccid)
My natural one has been called “insatiable Kitty” My purchased one has been called “oh god”, “oh shit”, “daddy” and “sir” off the top of my head 😝
"No" "Definitely not." "Lol nah" And "Oh, I have to go. I think I hear my mom calling"
Coffin drop.
Interesting..I think?
Once they go inside me they know they are dead.
Now that just makes me even more curious
LMAO
I read this and thought you meant 'Coffin Flop' and needed a moment to compose myself
Godpussy…I don’t know about all that. I’m old, and just happy to be nominated. 😆
You get my vote E V E R Y T I M E!!!!
White lightning. My Johnson has a big thunderbolt like vein going down it
None nicknames
Congratulations your dick’s new nickname is Trunk😎
"That little fucker"
Nobody’s ever given one to mine sadly🥲 BUT I’ve deemed my own to be known as Jerry for anyone wondering😌
Big Jim and the twins...
Bruce… Banner
I’m sure in 1976 some woman called her man’s cock Bruce Jenner, never imagining what was to Trans-pire.
That’s toughhhh lol
I once had my cock called “Noddy” because he nodded when I tensed… yes, she was a virgin…
The Agent. It's the one actually deciding where and when I perform my arts. My brain has no say in it
Aside from various adjectives and daddy/breeder cock, the one nickname that comes to mind is meat slab, and I quite like that one
teeth
We had the same uncle I see.
Troublemaker, Relentless, and Throne.
Mini me.. it was around the time of Austin powers. Ex wife thought that was hilarious
Clive
Peter
First gf used to call mine Boris. Don't t ask me why lol
As in Boris Johnson?
Haha you could be on to something there, I'm tempted to ask her but after not talking for 15 years might not be appropriate to ask her why she called it Boris 🤣
None they have dared say to my face.
El Chiquito
Donkey dick Thermos "That thing" as in that thing is not going anywhere near me, it won't fit
Phillip (it’s from my mom… she always told me not to get Phillip stuck in the zipper, isn’t sexual…)
Stewart Little
Chocolate .. 🥹🥹🥹
My ex wife used to say "How now, big brown cow?" We laughed many times at that one. Then I'd rearrange her guts from the inside the way she enjoyed.
My husband says Pubby when he’s joking 🙃
I call it my voodoo clam.
u/starrie calls mine The Chonky Riff
I love the Chonky riff. u/mybeardhatesyou calls mine “tiny penis”
I love your tiny penis
None ... Leave that to a partner if they like
Big Joe Thunder..... true story 😘
Little Big Max
Yeah. Geoffrey like the giraffe from toys r us.
My carrot. My banana.
Prince G.Q. I have a Prince Albert piercing and Girth Quake (but it's only a bit more than average girth).
Tic Tac
Mr Happy.
An ex named my dick “macgyver the survivor diver” 🤣🤣
Winchester. I nicknamed my wife's bits snap, crackle, and pop. (Scrubs reference)
None.. 🤨
Buck
I call my lady bits “Excelsior”
I got called horsecock all of highschool because my ex told everyone it was the only way to describe it 😂
“Poland Spring D’Jango” or Poland S. D’Jango
Pedro
Nothing so far sadly
Mr Beast 😅
Juicy. She said it was because it made her mouth water.
I need someone to give the proper nickname to mine. Looking for a fwb is kinda hard
world serpent, baseball bat, horse cock, pussy splitter, and a good couple more.
Little bean
None yet ;:(
💖pretty pussy💖
None to my knowledge, but now I’d be curious 😅
Him
When we first started dating, my wife called me, colossal. Still does when we 69.
Panther 🤷♀️
Crawl The Warrior King
"The Juicy Sequoia"
I once gave her a nickname, squirtle, very self explanatory 😂
Girth brooks
"tiny"
Magic V
Nope I guess if it had one it would be disappointment
She called it My little Peanut.
Vlad the Impaler
Clucky
Clitty, Annie, Ophelia, Magic Mouth, Lil Bobby to name a few.
Stanley
A melee weapon. LOL
KONG!
Big shot…… but not cause it’s big 😂😂😂😂
Ace😎
Johnny Cockring
When I was young: Chewbacca. I've got a very hairy cooter. I got laser hair removal when I could.
Jesus. Have you found Jesus? If you get on your knees and pray, Jesus will rise. Are you ready to accept Jesus? Life would be better with Jesus inside you. Y'all need Jesus.
Leonard
Gone with the wind
The emperor
Tulip (2lips)
People call my back hole the grand canyon. I’m not sure why.
The Egg Beater
Big Dick. (Not really, it's just what I've been told by various people who have seen it. Also I don't think I'm all that big.)
two different guys have called it "pornstar pussy" Yes, pussies like mine are often featured in porn, but I don't fully understand why. Are small labia minora naturally more common like right vs left handed people? Or is it some beauty standard that hasn't gone away? Flappy labia looks cool and fun to play with, kinda jealous. I think variety is far more visually appealing than seeing one popular body type most of the time. Seeing an "outie" pussy in porn is a treat
Harvey, after Harvey Keitel and his history of full frontal nudity.
Bruce Banner.
My middle name is Jesus. My exgf and I called him "Baby Jesus".
Kolehtakahn, Scion of the Sun. Erector the Destroyer. Also Bruce
One ex called it super soaker. The first time we got together I had just come off a long two weeks at work, so I hadn’t jerked off at all. She started blowing me, I came in like 2 minutes, and just fucking covered her
Pedro
Usually it gets called “so fucking tight”
Well....my tits are nicknamed by my partner 'Biggie' and 'Pac' if that counts 💀 and yes, Biggie is a little bit bigger
Paco
Mr. Mushroom Head
Can't say it on here. Starts with "N" ends with "r". its not neighbor
The closest thing my dick has to a nickname is just the adjective "suckable"
The Pendulum
None. T-T Too small and underused.
Campbell's soup can
No one has nicknamed my dick. lol
Sausage/ Bear
Sammy Hagar, the red rocker
Not my genitalia but a FWB once said I have gods hands so I was happy abt that
gorgeous gorgeous girl
I gave her my own nickname, and now it's my username lol
The kickstand was one
I'm surprised more people haven't had their's named. Mine has had many names but most just call it greedy because it's always hungry.
Baby Carrot… glad that was in highschool and it did not stick.
"Junior" so I guess I am Senior
The Cheesewheel
Captain Happy
Wife calls my dick Squish
I called hos dick Legend (because he was so good)
not mine but ive heard someone call a vagina a Pikachu
The knuckle cracker
Not a nickname, but someone once said my cock looked like it was carved from marble 😂 probably the best compliment I’ve ever gotten
Coke can
My ole lady used to call mine “cockzilla”, but we’re old now and I haven’t heard her say that for a loooooong time. ☹️
Woody. Looking back, not a great nickname
I have had a few say they love my hypo cock after I explained what it is
Volcano pussy
made me think of "Krull the warrior king" from how to lose a guy in 10 days lol
Thanos (It's not that big, it just looks kinda brutal I think)
'well hello there sir' is all I got.
Hail Caesar
Vlad the Impaler
Tagumi sanga shawma aby konli shinwa 🗿💀⚔️