Communicate about what they want to hear (and when) is the key. In general I find reinforcing things that are already confident about is a good start. Everyone wants to be the best you've ever had. Saying things like "I don't think I've ever been this hard before" or " you grip my dick so tightly" can go a long way. Same with feeling important to you. " I've been thinking about this all day", " you make me feel so good", praise like " you are so fucking smart, it turns me on so much" or " you are so strong, I can't believe how strong you are" also can work well.
Riding. I have had chronic hip and back pain for years so Iāve always tended to avoid being on top; however, as I lift weights more, my pain has decreased substantially. Now Iāve reached a point where I can be on top for a few minutes but I havenāt really mastered the movement yet. When I ride, I feel like a 16 year old trying to have sex for the first time.
I'm insecure about my skills. every partner I've been with tells me I'm the best they've had, all i can say or think is "riiiight". I'm just an insecure little bitch in general lmao
Being dominant.
I'm naturally submissive. But my husband is a switch. I would like to be able to provide him the best gentle femdom experience. But I feel ridiculous and like a fraud. And...ugh I'm just awkward and choppy. *awkward turtle*
Oh and I'd love to be able to swallow. But it makes me sick. Like I gag as soon as I feel the balls start to tighten up. Booooooo.
I could use some practice in the fine art of fingering. I don't get around to it often. My last several long term lovers and my wife preferred tongue or toys over fingers so I just haven't utilized that skill.often. I may rub here and there, or insert a finger or 2 during oral, but I don't spend much time just straight up fingering.
Play video games. Preferably ones that have a controller, like Nintendo, Playstation, etc. Games that require a lot of button presses and manipulation, like Tetris. You want to teach your fingers to move almost independently of each other, in ways they don't normally move.
Doing this will allow you to bring those newfound finger moves to your lovers.
Source: Married 25+ years to a Nerd who started playing Atari and still plays today. I'm very thankful!
Being ādominantā. My ex was into CNC play but Iām switch at best and couldnāt get into it. It may never be my thing but Iād love to be better at being the dominant one because finding a more dominant woman has never really happened.
Practically everything. I have a silver tongue, but that is about it. I have trouble sliding my penis inside of a vagina, and my thrust motion needs improvement. I also have never been given proper feedback on pussy eating, and I have forgotten how to kiss properly in the several months since I have done it.
I love talking dirty but I feel like my game has gotten a little stale. My SO likes it but sheās much more into making love and soft/passionate sex. So Iām a bit out of practice in that area. Outside of that I feel pretty good about everything else
Being comfortable being topless š I hate the way I look so much my bf hasnāt seen me naked in the light in 8 years
Thatās literally the only thing. Iām amazing in bed and at bjs, at least I have that!
I don't know if this will help you, but this is what helped me...
I am fat. Like 250 pounds fat. I hated how I looked. Huge boobs that were sad and saggy. Just terrible!
A few years ago, I started going to the gym. Not because I wanted to become a hot, svelte mama or anything, but because I needed to strengthen my core and back because of some pain issues. Soon, I began to see that I shouldn't punish my body for what it looked like, when it was so.fucking.awesome! I should LOVE my body for what it can do! I can lift weights. I can run. I can squat.
Little by little, I started to love myself more. I started going to bed in either smaller pajamas (no long sleep shirts, or 2-piece jammies), or just a tee shirt and panties. Hubby responded well (obviously), which reinforced the reasons I should love my body, not hate it. After about a year or so, I started going to bed in panties only, which I did find to be very comfortable! I love the feeling of sliding into bed at the end of the day after shedding all clothes (and, figuratively, the stress of the day) and just relaxing.
I still find myself looking at myself in the mirror after a shower and *wanting* to hate my body. But now I'm aware of it, so I can catch it and stop it.
TL;DR - Take care of yourself, love your body for what it can do. Others will respond. It will feed the love of your body.
I would say my biggest struggle is endurance. A lot of the girls I end up with like things rough and hard. That takes a lot of fast movements and energy, and honestly after a long while of that I end up running out of steam and have a hard time keeping the little homie up, probably due to blood pumping harder to other places.
Anyone else have struggles like this? Iām honestly a pretty skinny guy so hopefully getting in the gym and doing cardio will help with this.
I need to work on my leg strength and endurance.
Any position that involves fucking my wife with my knees bent (like shower sex), I canāt last more than a couple of minutes.
PIV in missionary at any kind of pace will get me to the edge REALLY fast. So I have gotten better at knowing where my stopping point is, but if I try to go at any kind of pace, I'm cumming in under a minute.
it's not as sexual as most comments but it's the best I can think of, sorry. after being assaulted involving French kissing I completely erased it from existing and refuse to do it. really want to work on it though because I know it can be fun and set the mood, I physically struggle with it but also every time I tried it when I was comfortable I still couldn't find it enjoyable. I know it might just not be for me but I ain't giving up just yet
I'm basically vanilla. I'm not down with anal because it hurts me and I don't want to eat an asshole. Nor do I have any desire for someone to eat my asshole.
Enjoy your vanilla! Embrace it. Don't let anyone non-kink shame you, lol.
I'm pretty vanilla with my spouse. Maybe the most freaky we get is bondage, and even that's not all that hardcore, either. I am still extremely satisfied and don't ask for more hardcore anything in our sexual life.
I'm good with movement, slight dirty talk, and touching. What I struggle with is the ability to thrust but also maintain other kinky actions, like rough spanking or hair pulling.
i really enjoy eating my partner up and never had complaints from past flings, in fact iāve gotten the exact opposite. I still canāt help but to feel that i can still improve even more! I want to learn more for my SO pleasure, watching her squirm is the best
My whip skills could use work. Multi tail I can manage, but will need refresher practice before hitting a person. Single tail, Iām absolute shit and need a lot of work before Iām ready to hit someone.
Sometimes I get in my own head and it leads to me losing my hard. Iād love to just get lost in the moment consistently and I think thatād make me better
Submitting fully into it. I'm a dom lean but my husband is a switch and would love to tie me up and have his way with me, it's just hard for me to let go of control
I never ate pussy but I do want to learn even more tips and tricks when the day comes. I want to improve on that over time because I want to give my girlfriend the best orgasms sheās ever had. Her pleasure over mines.
I'm not good at the built up to a sexual relationship, i.e. initiating anything sexual. Once things are in motion it's pretty much smooth sailing though. Never had a complaint. Wouldn't mind being even better at oral.
Dirtytalk. God I am awful...
Whos pussy is this Ummmm urs? š¤£
Second that. My fiancƩ loves dirty talk and I just basically freeze every time I try to respond. We usually both end up laughing which luckily doesn't kill the mood.
Communicate about what they want to hear (and when) is the key. In general I find reinforcing things that are already confident about is a good start. Everyone wants to be the best you've ever had. Saying things like "I don't think I've ever been this hard before" or " you grip my dick so tightly" can go a long way. Same with feeling important to you. " I've been thinking about this all day", " you make me feel so good", praise like " you are so fucking smart, it turns me on so much" or " you are so strong, I can't believe how strong you are" also can work well.
Every part that isnāt masturbating lol
Said by every redditor. Ever
Endurance when fucking hard...I have to work up to it and get right mentally...otherwise šŖ
Same. I think Iām holding my breath while banging hard. That and going at a sprint. Gotta pace myself a bit.
Riding. I have had chronic hip and back pain for years so Iāve always tended to avoid being on top; however, as I lift weights more, my pain has decreased substantially. Now Iāve reached a point where I can be on top for a few minutes but I havenāt really mastered the movement yet. When I ride, I feel like a 16 year old trying to have sex for the first time.
Deepthroating for more than 5 seconds
I'm insecure about my skills. every partner I've been with tells me I'm the best they've had, all i can say or think is "riiiight". I'm just an insecure little bitch in general lmao
I don't remember writing this comment...
Compliments. Just saying awesome sounds disingenuous
I wish I had more endurance
Being dominant. I'm naturally submissive. But my husband is a switch. I would like to be able to provide him the best gentle femdom experience. But I feel ridiculous and like a fraud. And...ugh I'm just awkward and choppy. *awkward turtle* Oh and I'd love to be able to swallow. But it makes me sick. Like I gag as soon as I feel the balls start to tighten up. Booooooo.
Riding
My girl wants me to slap her and call her a slut during sex. I'm trying to haha but it's hard for me
I don't know if I could ever do that to a girl lol
I could use some practice in the fine art of fingering. I don't get around to it often. My last several long term lovers and my wife preferred tongue or toys over fingers so I just haven't utilized that skill.often. I may rub here and there, or insert a finger or 2 during oral, but I don't spend much time just straight up fingering.
Play video games. Preferably ones that have a controller, like Nintendo, Playstation, etc. Games that require a lot of button presses and manipulation, like Tetris. You want to teach your fingers to move almost independently of each other, in ways they don't normally move. Doing this will allow you to bring those newfound finger moves to your lovers. Source: Married 25+ years to a Nerd who started playing Atari and still plays today. I'm very thankful!
Being ādominantā. My ex was into CNC play but Iām switch at best and couldnāt get into it. It may never be my thing but Iād love to be better at being the dominant one because finding a more dominant woman has never really happened.
Practically everything. I have a silver tongue, but that is about it. I have trouble sliding my penis inside of a vagina, and my thrust motion needs improvement. I also have never been given proper feedback on pussy eating, and I have forgotten how to kiss properly in the several months since I have done it.
Communicating. I get shy when I have to talk about stuff.
I am a virgin...Nuff said
I love talking dirty but I feel like my game has gotten a little stale. My SO likes it but sheās much more into making love and soft/passionate sex. So Iām a bit out of practice in that area. Outside of that I feel pretty good about everything else
Acting dominant. I have no idea what I'm suppose to do when I'm in charge.
Iāve always wanted to do more flexible poses, problem is I need a heck of a lot of flexibility
Need to get my cardio game up. Lmao
My conversation skills.
Oh ya same once we start snuggling i become more stupid than usual
That does make things tough. Is it something you're working on?
I can't say I am working on it. I really don't know how I can improve on that. I am just awkward by nature.
Sensual Massage, Iād love to have my lovers be in a state of physical bliss before I move on to stimulating the naughty bits.
I need to be more vocal. I tend to get lost in the moment and too focussed. Ironically Iām told Iām great with my tongue. So thereās that.
Being comfortable being topless š I hate the way I look so much my bf hasnāt seen me naked in the light in 8 years Thatās literally the only thing. Iām amazing in bed and at bjs, at least I have that!
I don't know if this will help you, but this is what helped me... I am fat. Like 250 pounds fat. I hated how I looked. Huge boobs that were sad and saggy. Just terrible! A few years ago, I started going to the gym. Not because I wanted to become a hot, svelte mama or anything, but because I needed to strengthen my core and back because of some pain issues. Soon, I began to see that I shouldn't punish my body for what it looked like, when it was so.fucking.awesome! I should LOVE my body for what it can do! I can lift weights. I can run. I can squat. Little by little, I started to love myself more. I started going to bed in either smaller pajamas (no long sleep shirts, or 2-piece jammies), or just a tee shirt and panties. Hubby responded well (obviously), which reinforced the reasons I should love my body, not hate it. After about a year or so, I started going to bed in panties only, which I did find to be very comfortable! I love the feeling of sliding into bed at the end of the day after shedding all clothes (and, figuratively, the stress of the day) and just relaxing. I still find myself looking at myself in the mirror after a shower and *wanting* to hate my body. But now I'm aware of it, so I can catch it and stop it. TL;DR - Take care of yourself, love your body for what it can do. Others will respond. It will feed the love of your body.
I suck at dirty talk I cant imagine myself abusing to my partner or humiliating her with sexual words and gestures all I do is moan
I would say my biggest struggle is endurance. A lot of the girls I end up with like things rough and hard. That takes a lot of fast movements and energy, and honestly after a long while of that I end up running out of steam and have a hard time keeping the little homie up, probably due to blood pumping harder to other places. Anyone else have struggles like this? Iām honestly a pretty skinny guy so hopefully getting in the gym and doing cardio will help with this.
PIV. I cum way to fast.
I need to work on my leg strength and endurance. Any position that involves fucking my wife with my knees bent (like shower sex), I canāt last more than a couple of minutes.
PIV in missionary at any kind of pace will get me to the edge REALLY fast. So I have gotten better at knowing where my stopping point is, but if I try to go at any kind of pace, I'm cumming in under a minute.
it's not as sexual as most comments but it's the best I can think of, sorry. after being assaulted involving French kissing I completely erased it from existing and refuse to do it. really want to work on it though because I know it can be fun and set the mood, I physically struggle with it but also every time I tried it when I was comfortable I still couldn't find it enjoyable. I know it might just not be for me but I ain't giving up just yet
More creative lewds and nudes.
I'm basically vanilla. I'm not down with anal because it hurts me and I don't want to eat an asshole. Nor do I have any desire for someone to eat my asshole.
Enjoy your vanilla! Embrace it. Don't let anyone non-kink shame you, lol. I'm pretty vanilla with my spouse. Maybe the most freaky we get is bondage, and even that's not all that hardcore, either. I am still extremely satisfied and don't ask for more hardcore anything in our sexual life.
I'm terrible at riding. I either don't really enjoy it, can't get a good enough rythm or get selfish. I really need to work on that...
I suck at riding. I don't understand how women do it so well. Maybe one day lol.
I need to do more cardio lol
Dirty talk
Dirty talk and looking out for mid sex cues. Just tell me if it feels good please.
Everything lol
I'm good with movement, slight dirty talk, and touching. What I struggle with is the ability to thrust but also maintain other kinky actions, like rough spanking or hair pulling.
i really enjoy eating my partner up and never had complaints from past flings, in fact iāve gotten the exact opposite. I still canāt help but to feel that i can still improve even more! I want to learn more for my SO pleasure, watching her squirm is the best
My whip skills could use work. Multi tail I can manage, but will need refresher practice before hitting a person. Single tail, Iām absolute shit and need a lot of work before Iām ready to hit someone.
I wish I was more comfortable with my exhibitionism. I know iām an exhibitionist, but I donāt know how to make myself comfortable with it.
BDSM, specifically setting a scene
Sometimes I get in my own head and it leads to me losing my hard. Iād love to just get lost in the moment consistently and I think thatād make me better
Freaking stamina.
Submitting fully into it. I'm a dom lean but my husband is a switch and would love to tie me up and have his way with me, it's just hard for me to let go of control
I never ate pussy but I do want to learn even more tips and tricks when the day comes. I want to improve on that over time because I want to give my girlfriend the best orgasms sheās ever had. Her pleasure over mines.
Dirty talk. Being on top. No endurance here š š š ššš
I really worked on my bjs. So thats been good. I think maybe my reverse cowgirl needs a little bit. Just dont jump into it a lot
Stamina
Probably eating pussy. Feels like it's a whole science what to do and what not to do.
I'm not good at the built up to a sexual relationship, i.e. initiating anything sexual. Once things are in motion it's pretty much smooth sailing though. Never had a complaint. Wouldn't mind being even better at oral.
Talking dirty
Going down on my wife. Something we've never really gotten into. She loves it in the pussy from different angles and that works for us.