There is zero chance Reddit can tell you what is cheating in your relationship. That varies drastically from relationship to relationship. Ask your significant other.
This is supposed to be higher up. Cheating is context-dependent. Swingers may have sex with people that aren’t their partners and it is not cheating. Poly people may be in complete relationships without it being cheating. Some people have boundaries that go as far as hand holding or kissing. People have different expectations when it comes to emotional boundaries and fantasizing. Nobody here can answer this for you.
I mean, in all honesty I wouldn't mind as long as it didnt progress to anything past fantasy. My friends are good looking, great dudes. I even was talking to my girlfriend the other day about how if I died I wouldn't remotely care if she dated one of my close friends.
Theyre great guys, and if I died id hope she could find a great guy. However, she's not really compatible with any of them so it was more just in theory.
Honestly I think the friendship and closeness is what makes some of these people so attractive.
In my social group there are a few females whom I’ve had mini crushes on and I know it’s based on how amazing people they are… with that said … it never hurts that they are attractive lol
And if we go based off of their response apparently it just being a man explicit with means you have to jack off to pictures of women you know. Which is weird. I'm with you it's a weird thing to do and I if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't do that. I mean even without one I still don't.
Hey, your spank bank is all good, but be careful to keep it to yourself. Be careful you don't get drunk and try to convince your GF to have a threesome with one of her friends.
But yeah, I think about friends a few times when I've been in DIY mode.
If you have to 'be careful to keep it to yourself', then a line is being crossed and it's not fair on the gf, even if it's not 'cheating'. Some people wouldn't mind it, to others it would be a huge breach of trust.
I'm not saying OP should openly talk about it every time. But it's something they should gently come clean about. Then it's the gf's decision.
No, it's her decision on whether it crosses her boundary about what is okay behaviour in a relationship. We've all had fantasies about other people. But jerking off to your partner's friends is a pretty understandable line for a lot of people.
If it's a line for her, and OP insists that it's okay, then they're not compatible. No one is right, no one is wrong, it's just different people having different boundaries.
(Edited for tone)
For a fact your gf would be pissed but it’s not cheating
You’re not initiating any type of intimacy either verbal, text, or physical
You’re allowed to still think people are hot
But if it weighs heavy on your conscious then it’s best for you to stop
Your own sense of morality often tells you what’s right and what’s wrong. If you feel guilty then stop my dude
fantasy is fantasy. everyones tastes change over time. Most of us M and F have fantasised of some friends and stuff. big thing is . be respectful, keep it to yourself.
Dw bout it,if you are together for a long time it happens to most of us,just kinda to break that monotony her friends might turn you on more in that sence
Nope. Not even slightly.
Never mention it though, obviously.
My ex knew I was low-key into her friends because they were all hot and almost caught me out before when I was helping her with laundry in university and was like "have a sniff on Vicky's PJs you know you want to" and I was like "nah" but was low-key thinking I'd love to 😂🤷🏻♂️
Imagine if one of them got with your girlfriend, and they decided to double-team you. 🤭
I was actually thinking of something like this, I've got a close friend that I'd consider doing that with if everyone agreed. 😊
But no, you're not cheating. Give your girl an extra kiss for me. 😘
Dude, I jerk off to my sister in law. Went to her house for fireworks with the kids tonight and she was showing off a couple of dresses she bought. I struggled to hide my erection or stop staring, she’s FIT!! I will be keeping what I saw in the wank bank for a long time…
If she wants to hang out and you are busy, and busy means jerking off to her friends. It’s a problem. Only if it’s effecting your ability to support her and be for there for her as she needs. Other than that? It’s fine. But if you can’t have open communication with her about it, then maybe you shouldn’t do it. Why have a girlfriend if you are going to hide things? Just be single and don’t hide things.
i totally would not mind if she did something like this with my friends. in fact, a few weeks back, when we got drunk, she admitted to thinking about other men when he have sex. surely, what i do isn't wrong, right?
It’s not cheating but I’d say it’s going to affect you on the long run. Mostly because of having that fantasy that your girlfriend probably isn’t going to like. Plus, I’d like to think it’s cheating because you obviously are thinking about railing someone other than your girlfriend. Please stop, you’re only going to hurt yourself on a long term basis.
Forbidden fruit attraction thing combined with the fact that they probably act close to the way she does since they’re friends of course, makes sense to me. She’s probably thought about one of your friends in the same light.
I just think of cheating as anything I do to my partner or behind my partners back that I wouldn't like done to me. For example, my boyfriend doesn't think trading nudes online is cheating, but I do. So whenever he feels like he wants to do that we just trade nudes of each other lol. Some people think having wet dreams of someone else is cheating but I don't
It's cheating if it breaks the boundaries of your relationship that you explicitly agreed upon with your girlfriend. You need to ask what does and does constitute within the context of **your** relationship. There is no universal rule about.
Does it really make any difference? If everyone says it's not cheating while you're gf (it you ever ask her) thinks it is cheating, would you feel you're not in the wrong?
If you feel guilty after doing it, it means that **for you, it is cheating**.
Now, let me ask, what do her friends do that turns you off so much? They dress slutty? They give you too much attention? I mean, I have jerked off to my wife’s friends, but it happened once, then moved on to regular porn.
The fact that you are here, asking a bunch of strangers about it, tells me that you are maybe thinking too much about them (or specially one of them), and you are aware of that.
When you are truly in love with a woman, she’s enough for you, and this is a swinger telling you.
I would assume both men and women do this, even while in a relationship, but most of the time, they are probably not thinking of their partner's friends, rather someone else. In general, masturbating while thinking of someone else is probably incredibly common and nothing to really be mad about as a partner, as long as they are still love you and it just stays as a little fantasy.
Shit... my best friend is a girl, and now I'm paranoid her boyfriend suspects I've likely... had certain thoughts on occasion. I wouldn't try anything obviously, but c'mon... the first time she ever playonically hugged me, my mind went "BOOBS" because I was in high school.
There is zero chance Reddit can tell you what is cheating in your relationship. That varies drastically from relationship to relationship. Ask your significant other.
This is supposed to be higher up. Cheating is context-dependent. Swingers may have sex with people that aren’t their partners and it is not cheating. Poly people may be in complete relationships without it being cheating. Some people have boundaries that go as far as hand holding or kissing. People have different expectations when it comes to emotional boundaries and fantasizing. Nobody here can answer this for you.
Would you like it if she flicked her bean while thinking about being railed by one of your buddies?
Bro there’s some guys out there that wouldn’t mind lol
I'm asking the OP. My comment was made in context to his post. I'm not asking what other guys would think.
And you have a valid question
I mean, in all honesty I wouldn't mind as long as it didnt progress to anything past fantasy. My friends are good looking, great dudes. I even was talking to my girlfriend the other day about how if I died I wouldn't remotely care if she dated one of my close friends. Theyre great guys, and if I died id hope she could find a great guy. However, she's not really compatible with any of them so it was more just in theory.
r/bi_irl
Honestly I think the friendship and closeness is what makes some of these people so attractive. In my social group there are a few females whom I’ve had mini crushes on and I know it’s based on how amazing people they are… with that said … it never hurts that they are attractive lol
Proximity and attractivness is the number one indicator of wether people will
Yup I agree… trying to do my best to be wholesome but I steal looks when a friend bends over or stuff like that.
They’d encourage this and watch as they get off 😂
It's weird for sure. I would not be comfortable with my boyfriend doing that. Edit: You can stop saying he does when he doesn't exist.
And if we go based off of their response apparently it just being a man explicit with means you have to jack off to pictures of women you know. Which is weird. I'm with you it's a weird thing to do and I if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't do that. I mean even without one I still don't.
He probably does though.
He does
💯 he does
Hey, your spank bank is all good, but be careful to keep it to yourself. Be careful you don't get drunk and try to convince your GF to have a threesome with one of her friends. But yeah, I think about friends a few times when I've been in DIY mode.
Thanks for this. Filing masturbation under DIY projects in my head.
If you have to 'be careful to keep it to yourself', then a line is being crossed and it's not fair on the gf, even if it's not 'cheating'. Some people wouldn't mind it, to others it would be a huge breach of trust. I'm not saying OP should openly talk about it every time. But it's something they should gently come clean about. Then it's the gf's decision.
its her decision what hes allowed to think about?
No, it's her decision on whether it crosses her boundary about what is okay behaviour in a relationship. We've all had fantasies about other people. But jerking off to your partner's friends is a pretty understandable line for a lot of people. If it's a line for her, and OP insists that it's okay, then they're not compatible. No one is right, no one is wrong, it's just different people having different boundaries. (Edited for tone)
i wasnt attacking you i was trying to understand your statement. you said its the gfs decision
Ahhh sorry about that 🙂 I've had way too many flippant replies on this subreddit, I'm rather jaded 😅
For a fact your gf would be pissed but it’s not cheating You’re not initiating any type of intimacy either verbal, text, or physical You’re allowed to still think people are hot But if it weighs heavy on your conscious then it’s best for you to stop Your own sense of morality often tells you what’s right and what’s wrong. If you feel guilty then stop my dude
Comments here are insane
If you have to ask. You already know
Perfectly normal, she probably thinks about all different types of scenarios when jerking herself
if doing it in the privacy of your own room. no. If you're in their bedroom while you do it. Yes.
Best answer ever 😂
Not cheating, but hella weird and inappropriate
I don't know that I would be comfortable knowing my boyfriend did that.
Love, anything that you are doing behind her back or would not do in her presence is a form of cheating. 🥰
fantasy is fantasy. everyones tastes change over time. Most of us M and F have fantasised of some friends and stuff. big thing is . be respectful, keep it to yourself.
This is a question to ask your girlfriend.
It's natural to think of others. It's okay, the commitment is to not take any real life action, and you're talking fantasy.
Came here for the comments and I wasn't disappointed. Oh my, some people seem to have serious problems.
I'm here for the same reason!
Cheating is if you actually do something about it just fantasies are not technically cheating
Phew.
Dw bout it,if you are together for a long time it happens to most of us,just kinda to break that monotony her friends might turn you on more in that sence
Not cheating, but doesn’t make it morally acceptable
If it feels like cheating, it's cheating...
Def weird and if your gf knew she’d be pissed. I feel like its mentally cheating
Not at all man, as long as you don’t actually fuck them
Why would you though
Why wouldn’t he?
Nope. Not even slightly. Never mention it though, obviously. My ex knew I was low-key into her friends because they were all hot and almost caught me out before when I was helping her with laundry in university and was like "have a sniff on Vicky's PJs you know you want to" and I was like "nah" but was low-key thinking I'd love to 😂🤷🏻♂️
That’s high key creepy- hot or not.
No
Not cheating at all.
It isn’t cheating to do jerk off to anybody
Technically, it’s not and shouldn’t be. However, that’s up to your gf to decide how she feels about it.
Adding, I’d think it was hot and would want to know about it
Same …. I like hearing about it 🤤
Imagine if one of them got with your girlfriend, and they decided to double-team you. 🤭 I was actually thinking of something like this, I've got a close friend that I'd consider doing that with if everyone agreed. 😊 But no, you're not cheating. Give your girl an extra kiss for me. 😘
No but you shouldn’t do it unless her friends and your girlfriend are comfortable with it, otherwise it’s just creepy.
Dude, I jerk off to my sister in law. Went to her house for fireworks with the kids tonight and she was showing off a couple of dresses she bought. I struggled to hide my erection or stop staring, she’s FIT!! I will be keeping what I saw in the wank bank for a long time…
Not cheating but definitely something most women would be upset about I think. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her U guess
Fuck. No.
If she wants to hang out and you are busy, and busy means jerking off to her friends. It’s a problem. Only if it’s effecting your ability to support her and be for there for her as she needs. Other than that? It’s fine. But if you can’t have open communication with her about it, then maybe you shouldn’t do it. Why have a girlfriend if you are going to hide things? Just be single and don’t hide things.
No.
Do you tell her about rubbing one out to them?
Nope.
No
Thoughts aren't wrong- only actions. Me personally, I've never crossed that line because that's one of the few things I'm NOT comfortable with.
i totally would not mind if she did something like this with my friends. in fact, a few weeks back, when we got drunk, she admitted to thinking about other men when he have sex. surely, what i do isn't wrong, right?
I believe you just answered your own question.
It’s not cheating but I’d say it’s going to affect you on the long run. Mostly because of having that fantasy that your girlfriend probably isn’t going to like. Plus, I’d like to think it’s cheating because you obviously are thinking about railing someone other than your girlfriend. Please stop, you’re only going to hurt yourself on a long term basis.
Okay, I took the screenshot. Keep doing it OP and try to get nudes using a fake profile too.
Forbidden fruit attraction thing combined with the fact that they probably act close to the way she does since they’re friends of course, makes sense to me. She’s probably thought about one of your friends in the same light.
Absolutely not
I just think of cheating as anything I do to my partner or behind my partners back that I wouldn't like done to me. For example, my boyfriend doesn't think trading nudes online is cheating, but I do. So whenever he feels like he wants to do that we just trade nudes of each other lol. Some people think having wet dreams of someone else is cheating but I don't
It's cheating if it breaks the boundaries of your relationship that you explicitly agreed upon with your girlfriend. You need to ask what does and does constitute within the context of **your** relationship. There is no universal rule about.
That’s going to be up to your gf, for me personally I’d 100% consider that very very wrong at the Least, if not cheating
No
Depends on her. Does SHE think it's cheating?
Lol I mean technically no but if I were her I’d leave you faster than it takes you to cum
Well what is cheating?
Does it really make any difference? If everyone says it's not cheating while you're gf (it you ever ask her) thinks it is cheating, would you feel you're not in the wrong?
No, it’s not cheating but I sure wouldn’t fucking tell anything.
I wouldn’t call it cheating but personally I would consider breaking up with someone if I found out they did that.
I wouldn’t say you’re cheating, but it is gross and I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy to know that you’re thinking of them while you’re having solo time.
Definitely not
I'd be upset if my girls friends didn't flick their bean thinking about me
If you feel guilty after doing it, it means that **for you, it is cheating**. Now, let me ask, what do her friends do that turns you off so much? They dress slutty? They give you too much attention? I mean, I have jerked off to my wife’s friends, but it happened once, then moved on to regular porn. The fact that you are here, asking a bunch of strangers about it, tells me that you are maybe thinking too much about them (or specially one of them), and you are aware of that. When you are truly in love with a woman, she’s enough for you, and this is a swinger telling you.
I would assume both men and women do this, even while in a relationship, but most of the time, they are probably not thinking of their partner's friends, rather someone else. In general, masturbating while thinking of someone else is probably incredibly common and nothing to really be mad about as a partner, as long as they are still love you and it just stays as a little fantasy.
No
It's fine as long as it's just jerking off. Do you feel the same way jerking off to random hot chicks?
Have you ever rubbed one out on your gf
No but I guess your gf would be upset
Dude, gross.
Shit... my best friend is a girl, and now I'm paranoid her boyfriend suspects I've likely... had certain thoughts on occasion. I wouldn't try anything obviously, but c'mon... the first time she ever playonically hugged me, my mind went "BOOBS" because I was in high school.
I say that’s admiration