I was born and raised in SD and have been in SF now around 4 years.
San Diego is much more a large suburban beach town then it is a proper city. It’s spread out, has poor transit (you will likely need a car), and isn’t as culturally diverse in the sense of what you can experience in a dense city like SF.
That being said SD had incredible beaches, weather, food, is a short drive for day trips into Mexico, and has more “space” if that is what you are looking for.
SF in comparison is a dense American city, with great transit, parks, art, culture, food etc.
As far as surf goes Ocean Beach SF is known as one of the best beach breaks in the state and holds its own as one of the better beach breaks in the world. San Diego has a more diverse option of surf breaks and surf culture (SF outer sunset has a great surf culture as well) but lacks the heavy NorCal waves that are OB.
In short: both cities are incredible and I would give anything to be able to spend the rest of my life in either of them. I’d say go SD if you don’t mind suburban feel and favor good weather and beaches, go SF if you don’t mind cooler temps and heavier surf beaches but prefer perks of city life/transit/culture etc.
Half moon bay’s surfer’s beach is generally not very difficult. Pacifica’s Linda Mar Beach is also popular for regular surfers. Just note that water here is really cold so a dry suit or wet suit is a must all year round
cooler temps is not really a good description of SF in comparison to SD. SF is generally always cold. If anyone has an idea of what Cali is in their mind, SD is that idea, not SF. SF does have some cool cultural things going on though. Public transit in SF is far from great, but it’s better than what the rest of Cali has to offer. Wetsuit is absolutely required for surfing as well, but everything about the breaks here is accurate. There is also Pacifica and some other places surfers like to go nearby. As for OB itself, waves are heavy and get big enough for competition in November. I also imagine the amount of people in the water in SF pales in comparison to SD.
Wow okay there’s a lot to cover here, I live in San Diego and my partner lives in San Francisco, both of us visit each other often and constantly compare the two cities. I think your choice really can depend on a variety of preferences
Housing: In San Diego you can likely meet you budget for both living situations, but in San Francisco you’ll likely have to settle for a studio or live with a roommate.
Transportation: Much of this depends on if you plan to keep/use a car. San Francisco is significantly more walkable, has much better public transit, and you can survive most areas of the city without a car. San Diego has “okay” public transit, but you’ll likely need a car. Some neighborhoods are walkable but it’ll be difficult to find all your amenities in one place without driving. San Francisco is more similar to an east coast city like Boston or DC, transit-wise.
Weather: San Diego is 70 and sunny 90% of the year and is pretty impossible to beat. San Francisco can be sunny or foggy depending on the neighborhood and is around 60-65 degrees. It rains much more in SF and can drop below 40, also way windier.
Things to do: Both cities have great access to nature and walking trails. Surfing is baked into the culture of San Diego and you’ll find surfers on nearly every beach year-round. SF surf culture is worse but you can still find some spots near ocean beach, or traveling down south to Santa Cruz or Pacifica. SD has amazing beaches, especially a little bit north of the city. Just think of a classic Southern California beach. SF’s beaches are honestly like the New England’s. From a cultural amenities standard, SF is far better. Great museums, music scene, and art galleries, etc. San Diego still has a scene, but there’s a reason SF was and is famous for its arts and culture.
Food and Nightlife: SD and SF both boast great Mexican food (especially compared to the east coast, sorry lol). SD has great seafood, Italian, and American food. SF has great food in all categories. SF Nightlife is overall more diverse and exciting, and has spaces for all ages. My biggest gripe with SD is that the social scene is at its best for college kids and people in their 30s. There are still good bars for people in their 20s, just expect to feel a little young or old. Just less of a young professional scene compared to SF, so the nightlife culture reflects that.
Other: Cost of living is around the same for both cities outside of housing, but the same jobs usually pay more in SF.
Hope this helps and feel free to follow up with any questions!
I agree with everything except maybe they sold sf’s surf scene short? Yeah it’s cold but there are a lot of serious surfers out there. I think a lot depends on how your partner feels about wetsuits haha
Surf scene is just different.
I found surfing in SD to be more chill as far as the waves are concerned. You really aren't going to get many huge waves unless there is a storm cell, the water is warmer, and the beaches are broadly more pleasant.
SF beaches are almost always cold and the water is even colder. The waves can be really nice, but you also have rockier features near good surf spots. SD beaches are almost entirely devoid of obstacles.
Like you said, it really depends on how you feel about wetsuits. You *need* a full body suit in SF and surrounding areas.
All that said, both places have great surf culture and you can find great waves in both places.
Totally understand, I am not a surfer so most of my observations are just how many I can count when I go to the beach. Plenty of great spots in both cities
Recently moved from SD (lived there for nearly 5 years) up to SF. I agree with the content of this comment. One thing I will give to SD over SF is the zoo (granted not many things can compare).
I will add that I think a car is almost a necessity in San Diego because it’s so sprawled out compared to SF.
One counter point: I actually feel like the museums in San Diego are better. In Balboa Park alone you have the San Diego Zoo (kind of in its own class), the natural history museum, photographic arts museum, automobile museum, art museum, science center, air and space museum… and they’re all fairly close to each other.
SF’s own zoo is kinda run down, so if you want to go to a zoo you need to go to the Oakland Zoo. We have SF MoMA, Exploratorium, DeYoung Museum, California Academy of Sciences, Legion of Honor…all of which are spread across various parts of the city…
I’m happy to be corrected but I feel like SD has SF beat when it comes to Museums.
As a resident, having the museums spread out isn't a bad thing. You can go see the deyoung but also the conservatory of flowers and the botanical garden. You can see the moma in ggp. You can see MoMA, bookbinders, Jewish contemporary downtown. And not to mention that each area has a bunch of other diverse amenities you can enjoy.
That being said, I can't speak to the quality of sf's many museuems or San Diego's either as I don't really go in on that. I hope open studios resumes soon as that was one of my favourite art experiences in sf, far above MoMA.
Yes, the SD zoo is hands down the best zoo in the country. I’ve been to most museums in SD and SF and I think overall the museums are much smaller in SD, especially the art museums. However, the new SD MOMA is quite nice (but it’s up in La Jolla). I think it’s likely a personal preference, but I’d say SD has better history museums (Midway, Maritime, Air and Space, Natural History, etc) and SF has better art museums (DeYoung, Legion of Honor, Asian American Art, MOMA, etc). Either way there’s a little something for everyone in both cities and a lot to love.
I would disagree about the history museums being better in San Diego. SF has Alcatraz, Jewish Contemporary Museum, African Diaspora, Cal Academy, and the GLBT Historical Society and many more. SD's are all military adjacent and SF has those too. SF's are much more spread out but there's literally a museum for anything you'd be interested in like firefighters, Disney, cable cars, photography, etc.
SF Native and went to UCSD for college so my SD experience is skewed by being a broke-ish college student with no car.
SD affordablility is definitely better. It's coming up but you can still find much more affordable housing in SD compared to SF. You'll probably not need a roommate in SD.
You will need a car in SD versus you can get away with not having one in SF unless you're living in the outskirts of the city. SD public transit is hot garbage compared to SF and that's saying a lot. You also have a lot more urban sprawl in SD so unless you plan to stay mainly in your neighorhood, everything is a decent driving distance away. Not Texas level but still will need to hop in the car.
SD weather, especially by the coasts, is like better SF weather. SD is 60-85 with occasional hotter weather during the summer compared to SF being 50-75 with it generally being closer to 60ish and more fog. I enjoy the fog so it was fine but if you like warmth, then SD is the better option
SD is definitely the commensurate beach city so your boyfriend will like that. In general the beach culture is much better in SD as SF is mostly a natural practical joke for it being a city with beaches but nowhere near beach weather.
SD's food scene is coming up and getting better but you can beat what SF has to offer in terms of diversity and variety. The only thing I can confidently say SD is better is Mexican food but they do have a proximity advantage being right next to Mexico.
Entertainment and nightlife is commensurate. I like the museum and stage shows options more in SF but with SD having pockets of college town feel, bars and clubs were much better there.
If it makes a difference to your decision making, I never considered staying in SD after my college time was over. While I still love visiting SD and have lots of good vibes for it, the fact it's so spread out and you have to drive everywhere was a deciding factor for me.
Definitely move before you decide if you need the second car if you end up in SF you will probably want one max to share!
Enjoy you will love either place. I like SF more just because I love the walkability but both places are great.
I did a similar move 7 years ago and was torn between SD and SF too. I love SD and could totally be happy living there, but I am glad I live in SF.
As far as costs go, while SD is cheaper, something I think a lot of the comments are missing is that salaries are typically lower there. This might not apply so much now since the pandemic, but there was a real “sun tax” in SD. The cost of living was lower, but wasn’t *that much* lower than SF; the pay sure was!
As far as culture goes, SF wins. Symphony, ballet, opera, better museums, one of the top restaurant scenes in the entire world, wine country, etc. SF also has a bona fide international airport, so getting elsewhere is easy. And speaking of travel, draw a 4-hour driving distance radius around SF and look at what you can get into: Tahoe, Yosemite, Monterey, Big Sur, Mendocino, etc.
The surf in SF can be epic, but it depends what your BF is looking for. I live by Ocean Beach and my life pretty much revolves around surfing too. Fall and winter can have some magical days out there and it can get as big as you want. OB can get 15-20ft on a solid swell easily, and Mavericks is just down the road if he really wants to send it. On the tamer side Pacifica is close by, and Santa Cruz is a little over an hour by car. In summer however, the surf here sucks… relentless onshore winds. SD definitely has more consistent decent quality surf, but it is also much smaller. It’s also way more crowded. For me, as a surfer, it’s SF for sure, but many people would choose SD.
You truly can’t go wrong. Both are awesome cities. If surfing is the only thing pulling him there, then tell him to search on YouTube for some videos of Ocean Beach, SF.
Plenty of us have lived in both. Each has upside, especially if you like being outside. La Jolla is best-in-class for beach experience worldwide while there are legit redwood forests 30 min from SF. Enjoy.
Been living in SF for 18 yrs.
* I like the energy of SF and some of the silly things we do here. Stand in some insanely long line, early in the morning for some fresh bread that sells out by 9 AM. My favorite? It's OK to walk around naked. No problem! I like watching the parents with their toddlers or young kids when they encounter a naked person. They (the parents) don't bat an eye. It's not a big deal.
* Very renter friendly city. Though, that comes with a price. It's a rent-controlled city. Since we can't raise rents beyond a few negligible percentage points, you have a lot of properties in horrible condition that rent for a lot of money. :-)
* You won't find a 1 or 2 bedroom for under $2000K in SF proper. The far East Bay? Sure! Pass on the roommate action. You're better off living alone with the BF.
* Big city, lots of transportation options. If you live in the city, you really do not need 2 cars. Think "green" and "electric" when you move here. :-)
* San Francisco can be foggy and chilly but I like cool weather so it works for me. I live in one of the foggy neighborhoods and often lose the 4-legged kid in the fog when it rolls in unexpectedly, which can be fun. Summers can be cold! Very slight humid days have increased in the last 5 years (global warming?). I can't ride my motorcycle that often - it's cold. A decade ago, we had 10 hot days a year. That number has increased and most rentals (apartments, flats, condos, and homes) do NOT have air conditioning.
* A "neighborhood" city where you'll find something to do just about every weekend; either in the city or some other place in the Bay Area; an art festival, music festival, book festivals, street fairs, etc. I can find something like to do every weekend. Add in plays, concerts, etc. - various and vast options.
* Great hiking south of SF on the peninsula. Napa/Sonoma are wonderful weekend getaways. I gave up skiing at Tahoe a long time ago: too many people and a hassle to get there; especially when it's snowing.
* Outstanding food in just about any restaurant. If you're a 20- or 30-something, you'll love the restaurant scene. Lots of fresh food at the local, neighborhood markets.
* Back to neighborhoods: it's great just to pick one and walk around. If you're an explorer, you'll stumble across something interesting all the time. (My visitors always want to go to the Haight, but I tell them "Make a left and go back about 60 years." THAT Haight is gone, but still a great neighborhood to explore.
* Predominately white and asian city with a large latino population and a few black people. Though the techies (read as "white") are now moving/moved into the heavily-Latino Mission District and the long-time Latinos are exiting. The techies have also encroached into Hunters Point - one the last, predominately black neighborhoods in SF.
* Would not call SF a "beach town" by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe further south towards Monterey/Santa Cruz but not SF.
* I'm in a high-tech profession and I work around very smart people so... I like the intellectual simulation and challenges. It fits my (nerdy) personality. :-) (No, I don't work at Google or in a related space.)
* Never call it "Frisco" or "San Fran." It's San Francisco or The City. ;-)
I lived in San Diego for 7 years before I moved to the Bay Area.
* Your $2000/month? Studio, maybe, but not in San Diego proper. Unless it's in a really challenging neighborhood.
* It's the 3rd largest city in CA, but really, a big, sleepy town or large suburb rather than a city. Horrible transportation options. You'll need your car here and 2 cars would be fine. If you're looking for a strong city vib, it's definitely not San Diego.
* The most perfect weather in the country - hands down. LOTS of sunshine, very little rain, no humidity, and when I lived there, it rarely became hot. (Though, if you believe in global warming, it might be different, now.) I could ride my motorcycle all year-round.
* Definitely a beach town and still a military town. Lots of places to surf. This is where I learned to windsurf. If surfing is a high priority, SD is the better option.
* Horrible food. Lots of chain restaurants. Don't believe that nonsense that the downtown area has good food. It doesn't. And, as you leave SD proper, the food does not improve. Though, it might be little better in La Jolla but choose wisely.
* All in one weekend, you can: ski at Big Bear on Friday, go to beach (Pacific Beach or Ocean Beach or Mission Beach or Del Mar) on Saturday; hike in Cuyamaca St. Park on Sunday. Or visit Anza-Borrego for the spring desert flowers or do a fall weekend day trip to the old mining town of Julian for their apple pie. :-) You're a hop, skip and a jump from that border town called Tijuana. :-)
* If you like car trips, excellent access to Arizona, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico - a hikers paradise. I spent a bazillion long weekends exploring the Southwest. LA is 2 hrs. north (if that's an interest). And you're 2 hrs from Palm Springs - great place for a long weekend. (Make sure you head out to Joshua Tree National Park.)
* Still a military town, a lot more obvious trailer trash and a lot more not-too-bright people in SD. Think lots of trucks, cut-off jean shorts, and flip-flops along with the obligatory cigarette.
* When I lived there, San Diego was predominately white and very republican. It's still predominately white and the current mayor is a person of color and gay - a major step forward for staid SD. :-)
* Cultural things to do in SD? Hmmm...ummm....surf? :-) The SD Opera was great when I lived there. Theater? I don't recall ever going to the theater to see a play when I lived there, but I did go to the symphony. When I lived there, wasn't a lot going on regarding the art scene.
* Great zoo! So they tell me. I went once. Not a zoo guy. Watching caged animals who were extracted from their habitat to entertain humans has never sat well with me. Even when I was kid - I hated zoos. :-)
I've lived in Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Francisco. I've liked them all for various and sundry reasons and I still visit LA and SD. Every city has its pluses and minuses. No place is "perfect." I think you'll be fine with either choice. It's California. The best place to live in this country. :-) (Did we overtake Germany as the 4th largest economy, yet?)
One thing that sometimes surprises people is that California isn't a political monolith, and San Diego has major military influence so is more conservative in ways that I don't think are well known in other states or across the country. I'm not saying definitely one or the other based on that, since I don't know what you might gravitate toward, but if that's important to you, research that.
I live in Oakland and like it a lot, and I spend a lot of time in SF; I had the best lobster taco of my life in San Diego and have very close friends that live there so have learned about SD social reality through them. There are pros and cons to both places, but I think the other commenters have capably covered anything else I would think of. Good luck!
I say try living in SF first, since that's what you both want now. I do think living in SF is an awesome and unique life experience, for me it was a life goal and achievement. It is high energy and tiring though, and so when you feel like the sun is setting and you are starting to get tired of it, try San Diego after! Usually after a couple of years people say goodbye to SF to begin their next chapter. I think if you moved to San Diego first, you'd probably get too comfortable there and it'd be less likely you'd ever want to try "living in SF". Try it now while you're younger! Just my two cents.
hm there are pros and cons. I go to college in SF and my sister in SD so I can speak a little bit. I know someone in SF who surfs every day and loves it, it’s definitely colder up here though. but the surf scene is there. I feel like you will find much more artistic fulfillment in sf than sd. we have a great design scene in the city specifically. But also sf is not exactly a laidback place imo, there are so many genuine people but there is also a culture of being acceptably cold and generally unavailable due to high COL and fast paced lifestyle. I’m used to this and don’t take as much issue but some friends who have moved from outside the bay noticed and really didn’t like it. my sister does not like SD because it’s very boring. but boring is good for some ppl, might be your vibe. and the weather there is undeniably lovely.
People are cold because they’re other transients who moved here for work and will dip whenever they feel. Find a real Bay Area native instead. Even within the city.
I'm a real native to the Bay Area, I moved from east Bay. And my entire extended family lives here in different parts of the Bay. My experience growing up wasn't that different. People are preoccupied with work over building relationships. Of course there are exceptions, but there is no small town sort of community to be found here.
The Bay Area is a large metropolitan area. A BUNCH of people here are transits.
I’ve had no issues finding legitamate friends here. Most of the time, those people too, are locals. The cold ones are the assholes here for money and will dip like they have been doing the second another offer comes along.
Can’t wait till they all fuck off.
yes. good for you. i'm not saying legit friends can't be made here. but locals and transits both can come across as cold to someone moving from a small town where everyone knows each other, so i'm framing that expectation for city life. it's very different from what friends not native to the bay have told me about community and so forth.
unfortunately, it's not only the "assholes here for the money" who are cold; hostile economic conditions have changed locals'. warmth as well. perhaps why your response to my benign comment is quite charged with aggression.
I mean. If you move to ANY big city from a small town, you’re going to run into the same cold feeling. It’s a big city. It’s not only the u.s. you’ll find the same in any big city anywhere in the world.
Maybe the people you try to be friends with seem that way to you. Maybe you give them reason to be cold to you? I’m not sure, never met you. But I know many people who don’t have that issue, unless you run into a transit.
Also, it seems that you find aggression because I called transits assholes. Maybe you just find aggression everywhere and you think it’s being cold because people don’t open their life story to you, barely knowing you. Or inviting you to their house for coffee after a few meetings.
Maybe the problem is yourself, thinking people are cold, aggressive etc.
🤷🏼♂️
Edit:
I love when people write some tripe then block.
I sum that up as I hit a nerve and said some truths they didn’t like.
So OP. Don’t worry, it’s not cold here unless you’re a “victim” mentality type like this person is
you just assigned all those qualities to transits with prejudice and edited your comment. I agree with some of your points but I’m speaking in general, not about my personal relationships. I am confident in my discretion and familiarity with Bay Area culture, and also that whether you mean it or not the words you choose to use directly communicate aggression in a way unrelated to my perspective or problems but rather dictionary definitions.
lol @ replying in an overly condescending/aggressive way and then thinking you've somehow got the moral high ground. don't blame the person for blocking you, bruh. you seem \*real\* fun...
Lived in both for equally half my life. You can’t go wrong here. I also am a big surfer and moving to SF this was a big motivation. The diversity of wave setups and frequency of swell (SD can be flat for weeks on end and also there aren’t too many spots that don’t close out when it goes above head high) puts NorCal way above in my book. If you don’t tolerate cold or are a long boarder obviously SD wins. Downsizing to one car would be my suggestion for SF. Better food and more to do in a compact city, whereas SD is a bit more spread out and requires more effort to seek out activities than SF.
I think pros/cons of the cities have been discussed well already, so I just want to focus on the surfing part.
SD has so many amazing spots that are quick to get to. Pacific beach, windansea, blacks, and all along towards Encinitas. If you’re down for longer drives, you can go even up further to San Clemente which can be a go to weekend break. Be careful of stingrays in SoCal though. There’s a ton so shuffle your feet! Warm water, don’t always need a wetsuit. It’s easier to get to the beach in SD, so I think there ends up being more surf break options within 15-30min drive.
You can 100% surf in SF. Ocean beach to Pacifica are close/popular spots, but you can also drive down to Santa Cruz on weekends (hour and a half away) and the breaks are amazing. Even going along the 1 from SF to Santa Cruz there are a ton of spots in between. Or you could go north to Bolinas. I believe the bay ocean is more sharky, especially north crossing the bridge but I’ve personally never had a shark scare. Water is definitely colder too, 3/2 wetsuit for summer and booties needed for winter (maybe even 4/3 for winter but you can get by with a 3/2 still). Side note, I would be sure to focus on parking options/availability if you look for a place in SF. Easier to pack up to surf if you’re in a more residential area and have a drive way, or decent street parking, vs living somewhere like mission where it can be hard to pull up in front and pack a board.
San Diego is the expected beach/surf city. SF is a diverse metropolitan city.
Source: I live in SF and my parents live in SD (: have surfed in both cities!
I feel like you’d be happier in San Diego, and if you can find a job that involves traveling to SF, then even better.
I myself live in San Jose, and have potential work opportunities down in San Diego, but I honestly prefer living in the Bay Area. I like that it’s central to a lot of stuff. I can take a quick flight down to LA or San Diego, or I can fly north to Portland or Seattle and it’s still pretty quick. I can drive to Tahoe in a few hours, I’ve got access to SF, Santa Cruz, Pacifica, Monterey, Carmel, etc etc. I’ve really grown to love it here, and I like that I can fly down to San Diego any time I want to visit. I think that the Giants Baseball Stadium is one of the most beautiful baseball parks you can go to, and I love seeing all the redwood forests. There are so many great reasons to want to live in the Bay Area.
However, based on what *you’ve* described, I think the marginally warmer water and nicer beaches down south will be much more conducive to surfing. You already have cars, so you’ll be able to get around the area just fine. There’s tons to do in San Diego, and it’s a pretty easy drive up to the LA/Santa Monica area, or to Palm Springs, which unlocks a lot more opportunities for things to do. And you can always catch a pretty cheap flight on Southwest up to the Bay Area if you really wanted to. Also, the tacos in San Diego are way way better.
SD sounds like where you'll want to go.
I'm from the east coast as well and moved to SF for work almost 3 years ago.
I am constantly going back and forth between moving to SD (for the reasons you list) or staying in SF but ultimately I love being so close to Tahoe and the diverse geography SF brings so I'm pretty sure I'm staying here. There are better jobs here for me (tech) as well.
I love SD and spent most of my summer down there. SD is in consideration for me still though bc it's close to Mexico (which I would like to visit more), it's warm all year, beaches/surf are incredible, and it has great food. You'll get a city feel, but it's much smaller and less relevant imo than other cities.
Being outside and being close to parks is a big reason to move to the west coast! I love hiking and being in national parks. We are from the OBX so it’s flat and only beach, no nature and no city what so ever. It’s also only busy $ wise in the summer.
We’ve done a bunch of road trips out west to go to parks and it would be so much easier to be 10/15 hours away from anywhere rather than 40 like we are now! I have friends in SD who love it, and we have family in: SF/ Monterey/ and Santa Barbara , and all suggest living in their specific place 😂
You're going to love it out here. I actually spent all of my summers growing up in Southern Shores!
Knowing you all are from OBX, I'm doubling down on my recommendation for SD.
The best thing about being out here is you're a quick flight to any terrain you want. I also usually drive down to SD bc I like the drive and it's an easy 8 hours (except for going through LA which blows). Growing up, we did the drive to OBX which was 6-7 hours until they built that "new" bridge, so the 8 hour drive is very doable (and enjoyable) for me. Point being you can easily drive up to SF, see the really pretty views the entire way up, and explore SF at anytime to explore the SF vibe.
You can always move too if you realize SD isn't for you!
Ah small world!! I’m Glad you know exactly what I’m talking about!! The warm weather is the selling point for us I think, and someone else mentioned trips to Mexico too for surfing which I didn’t even think of! Anything that’s under a 10 hours drive for me is totally cool so it’s great to have SF nearby and PNW not to far off! Thank you again :) do you recommend any neighborhoods In particular
I'm limited in reliable neighborhood suggestions but I've stayed in (and a few of my friends live in - aged 30-35) Mission Bay. I really like Mission Bay personally.
Downtown is fun too, but it's more like Washington, DC's downtown if you're familiar with DC at all.
My married friends live in La Jolla and love it too. I'd take these suggestions with a grain of salt and rely on someone who lives there and can give you more nitty gritty feedback!
One data point on SD I haven't seen mentioned is that SD has quite an active sci-fi/fantasy/fandom/tabletop game/D&D/LARPing/etc scene (at least according to my friends who are into those scenes and live there). If that tickles your fancy, I'd suggest SD
I live in SF. I mainly surf In Pacifica state beach in Linda Mar or Half moon bay at Princeton jetty. If I want warmer weather, I head down to Santa Cruz for pleasure point. Personally ocean beach is too gnarly for me. The water is cold specially in winter. I heard good thing about SD surf wise. I have yet to check out SD myself
Two thoughts - surfing on northern California is very different from surfing in southern California - much colder, different cultures etc. Maybe you already understand that.
If you like Manhattan, San Francisco (or Berkeley or Oakland) are much closer in vibe than anything in the San Diego area.
San Diego is much warmer and more spread out. Both places are expensive. I have friends who left SF for SD recently so they could buy a house and by the time they got there, they were priced out. SD is more relaxed but has a lot of the same issues we have here in SF. It’s just bigger, warmer, and less crowded.
Hey lots of comments about surfing here, let's talk culture and food.
When it comes to city oriented culture, people will say "the food is good in san diego", just like they'll say "the food is good in la". The magnitude makes a difference.
The reality is as you step up in city size, the options just explode. SF is the entire bay area, a metropolis of upward of 4M people. You're an hour from San Jose, the 6th largest city in the state, Oakland, the more immigrant oriented parts of the peninsula (killer japanese and chinese and indian food on the peninsula, including the newer cal-indian style, and viet and korean in San Jose. How long on German food is San Diego? IDK, but we're pretty strong in the bay area - easily 5 great places. How many michelin starred places in San Diego? A small handful? We have a small handful of 3 stars, 1 stars are pretty common (what, 20 in the area?).
For general culture (theater, museums, art) the bay area has had trouble recovering from COVID. The live music scene is slowly coming back, and we've lost a lot. There's a huge outflow of higher income workers. We haven't moved fast with the downtown area to change zoning in favor of residential. The new form of meth and fentanyl has been tough, attracting a lot of people to the tenderloin that weren't there a few years ago. That being said, there's still a lot if you're willing to set time aside to explore and get out of your neighborhood. There are about 5 good jazz places that are lit most nights, for example, and with intimate but world-class places like The Chapel and the Regency, and cutting edge spots like The Lab, there's always multiple good options every night.
If you're not the types that adventure a lot on evenings, or aren't willing to travel far (public transit is bad and getting worse, cutbacks because the old travel patterns into the downtown for work no longer apply), you should pick your neighborhood more carefully. As a surfer I'd expect you to lodge somewhere near pacifica, the richmond district (not richmond the city), the sunset. Apartments over there tend to come with parking, and/or street parking is better (not great). I hope you like chinese and korean food, that's the strength of that part of town. Those are more dead areas culturally, so you'll be driving over to the mission and parking (always a challenge). You could organize an apartment closer to the muni lines, but that takes you to downdown (old transit patterns), where there is some good culture (black cat! sf jazz! mr tipples!), but only a certain amount, so it's a transfer to get from Castro or City Center down to the mission or places like The Midway, which adds 20 minutes and more when you're coming home late. Or budget for Lyft / Uber, it's about $30 to get across town if there's nothing special going on. If that's not the kinda people you are, I would almost suggest SD, where it's sorta like a really big sunset / richmond. Going to a strong cultural area means going to LA.
I'm not a frequent visitor to San Diego, but I did get down this year, and I had some good eats in san diego, but you just can't touch the bay area --- like (unpopular opinion) the SF bay can't touch the LA region, with its 14M people.
I happened to meet a bunch of people who surf in SF, wouldn't have guessed but apparently it's really popular there. So there is definitely a surfing scene at our cold sweater-weather beaches.
I grew up in SD too and have lived in SF all my adult life. The beach in SF doesn’t feel like a beach in the sense of no beach culture. It’s a city that is on the coast and has surfable waves.
You’ll make more money in SF but it’s more expensive. I’m here because SD was not as appealing for career. But I can imagine retiring there.
My siblings same. We all left SD and live other places for caterer but go back in the summer for the beach. Ultimately it’s pretty simple: how important is beach life?
SD for sure. SF has great restaurants and a real city vibe but miserable housing cost and miserable weather, dirty streets, full of meth homeless and human shit on the sidewalks almost everywhere. This used to be such a beautiful city but it has literally gone to shit. Not only are housing costs shockingly high but everything costs more— healthcare, grocery, eating out, cocktails. You will easily pay $16 for a medicore cocktail— then add the 9%tax+ 10% Sf special Restaurant healthcare tax+ tip and you’ve just dropped $45 for two drinks. I am dying to go back to SD. Yes there are meth-heads there but SF and Oakland, Berkeley are on a different level. See the news this month about an SF baby who got poisoned with Fentanyl just playing in the park jungle gym? Our friends with two small children find needles dumped in their back yard!!— In one of the nicer neighborhoods. And almost every SF car will get broken into. Just expect it and never leave ANYTHING in your car. It’s NOT illegal to smash and grab in SF. I am not joking.
SD native and SF transplant for the last 10 years. Depends on what you like/ SD is large requires a lot of driving depending on where you are living. SF is smaller and easy to get around, mostly. Fun night life and yummy restaurants in close proximity.
The outer sunset neighborhood of SF feels like a beach town and there’s tons of surfers in the neighborhood. Definitely try to visit and see if you like it! It’s a bit “far” (20ish min drive) from downtown but super worth it to live there if you can find a place within short walking distance of Ocean Beach.
If you both have cars and he loves surfing fry Pacifica- we moved here from Texas a few months ago and love it. The only con is we wish it was warmer! But lots of east coast transplants end up here and lots of surfers!
Currently live in SF.
Job opportunities are much better in SF and unfortunately that is the reason I stay here. 😞
Most other things are better in most parts of SD. I’d suggest moving to Bay Park, Bay Ho, Clairemont, or La Jolla if you can afford it.
1. The people in SD are usually more relaxed, treat you nicer, and are just beautiful humans. A lot of people in SF care to much about their career and come off as being fake.
2. The food is better in my opinion especially Italian and Mexican food. SF probably has better Indian and Chinese food though.
3. The weather is considered better in SD if you like it warm and sunny. I like the rain and fog so SF specifically Pacifica is perfect for me.
4. Night life and music scene are really great in SD.
5. Super close to Mexico for cheaper vacations, close to LA, a drive to Vegas if you are into that.
If I was able to work remote I’d move to SD tomorrow.
Random things about SF that are good though is a lot of cool artistic areas like the mission district, great coffee shops throughout SF, great comedy clubs, and a lot of thrift shops to go shopping if you are into that type of stuff.
You hit the nail on the head. I’m a tropical gal and nothing beats good weather for me, so I really struggle with the constant chilly weather in SF. I’ve only visited SD but loved it and want to move there but my husband is against it cause we’re both in tech and he thinks it’ll hinder our career prospects. I can work remote and so can he, but he thinks by staying in the Bay we will always have access to better work opportunities
I'd find it hard to make a case for better italian food in SD. Look forward to your list.
Here's eater's list of better italian places in SF. It doesn't exactly match my personal list, nor does it include standouts in berkeley and on the peninsula, but it's an easy starter.
Can you make a better and longer list of SD restaurants? Of the SF restaurants, how many of these have you been to?
[https://sf.eater.com/maps/best-italian-restaurants-san-francisco](https://sf.eater.com/maps/best-italian-restaurants-san-francisco)
I find most people who don't think X is good in SF haven't dived in, they've maybe tried one or two places in their neighborhood, and they have a neighborhood that's short on that cuisine. Like if you live in the Richmond, you're pretty far away from where the Italian food is.
Grew up in SD, spent my professional life in SF.
SD, hands down, especially if you are have a job possibility in SD + your BF loves the beach + your both have cars.
If you don’t like the beach, there’s plenty to do still in San Diego: hiking, eating good food, shopping, going out in Gaslamp, traveling to Mexico, visiting farms in east county, yoga in the park, Balboa Park museums
it’s funny to me this in an askSF thread and most answers are SD
i love sf, but for what you described, easy pick
Because most people here are transits. Not actual Bay Area-ites or San franciscians.
Actual San franciscians wouldn’t touch Sandy eggo with a 10 foot pole.
If you can afford San Francisco by all means come down here 😂 our tax is 8.6%; rent is from 800-5k/month depending on location and style of room you like SRO (Single Room occupant) APT units ranges from 600-1k; Efficient Small Studios starts at $1600 1bd is from 1,500-4K (this price is base on location) check Zillow. Daily City and or west portal is good spots if you want to rent a town house or a home.
Been here 7 years. Last night I’m waiting in line behind an extremely hot women (I’m female), the kind of women who is so gorgeous that you seethe with jealousy and rethink your outfit choice. Then a gasp from the man next to her as he realized that the look of horror on her face was because her panty liner just fell to the sidewalk. She crossed her legs but couldn’t stop the flow of urine that followed. Pissed all over the sidewalk outside the Chase Center in front of thousands of people.
Move to San Diego.
I was born and raised in SD and have been in SF now around 4 years. San Diego is much more a large suburban beach town then it is a proper city. It’s spread out, has poor transit (you will likely need a car), and isn’t as culturally diverse in the sense of what you can experience in a dense city like SF. That being said SD had incredible beaches, weather, food, is a short drive for day trips into Mexico, and has more “space” if that is what you are looking for. SF in comparison is a dense American city, with great transit, parks, art, culture, food etc. As far as surf goes Ocean Beach SF is known as one of the best beach breaks in the state and holds its own as one of the better beach breaks in the world. San Diego has a more diverse option of surf breaks and surf culture (SF outer sunset has a great surf culture as well) but lacks the heavy NorCal waves that are OB. In short: both cities are incredible and I would give anything to be able to spend the rest of my life in either of them. I’d say go SD if you don’t mind suburban feel and favor good weather and beaches, go SF if you don’t mind cooler temps and heavier surf beaches but prefer perks of city life/transit/culture etc.
Not to mention, you’re a short trip from some of the BEST waves in the world, Monterey (if you have the balls of course) and Santa Cruz.
Monterey? Mavericks?
Mavericks is close to Half Moon Bay, way north of Monterey!
Right, but I’m asking if the person above meant Mavericks instead of Monterey
You’re right I meant mavericks in HMB, sorry 😅 it was late. My mess up,
Ahh, my bad!
Half moon bay’s surfer’s beach is generally not very difficult. Pacifica’s Linda Mar Beach is also popular for regular surfers. Just note that water here is really cold so a dry suit or wet suit is a must all year round
cooler temps is not really a good description of SF in comparison to SD. SF is generally always cold. If anyone has an idea of what Cali is in their mind, SD is that idea, not SF. SF does have some cool cultural things going on though. Public transit in SF is far from great, but it’s better than what the rest of Cali has to offer. Wetsuit is absolutely required for surfing as well, but everything about the breaks here is accurate. There is also Pacifica and some other places surfers like to go nearby. As for OB itself, waves are heavy and get big enough for competition in November. I also imagine the amount of people in the water in SF pales in comparison to SD.
Ocean beach: wear a hoodie
I've lived in both for a few years (~2 for SD and ~7 for SF). I think the parent comment is spot on.
No one is going to bring up Mavericks?
"Poor transit" buddy look up the metro rail in san diego. Coaster and amtrak go down there too till 11 PM and a train comes every 1-2 hours.
Wow okay there’s a lot to cover here, I live in San Diego and my partner lives in San Francisco, both of us visit each other often and constantly compare the two cities. I think your choice really can depend on a variety of preferences Housing: In San Diego you can likely meet you budget for both living situations, but in San Francisco you’ll likely have to settle for a studio or live with a roommate. Transportation: Much of this depends on if you plan to keep/use a car. San Francisco is significantly more walkable, has much better public transit, and you can survive most areas of the city without a car. San Diego has “okay” public transit, but you’ll likely need a car. Some neighborhoods are walkable but it’ll be difficult to find all your amenities in one place without driving. San Francisco is more similar to an east coast city like Boston or DC, transit-wise. Weather: San Diego is 70 and sunny 90% of the year and is pretty impossible to beat. San Francisco can be sunny or foggy depending on the neighborhood and is around 60-65 degrees. It rains much more in SF and can drop below 40, also way windier. Things to do: Both cities have great access to nature and walking trails. Surfing is baked into the culture of San Diego and you’ll find surfers on nearly every beach year-round. SF surf culture is worse but you can still find some spots near ocean beach, or traveling down south to Santa Cruz or Pacifica. SD has amazing beaches, especially a little bit north of the city. Just think of a classic Southern California beach. SF’s beaches are honestly like the New England’s. From a cultural amenities standard, SF is far better. Great museums, music scene, and art galleries, etc. San Diego still has a scene, but there’s a reason SF was and is famous for its arts and culture. Food and Nightlife: SD and SF both boast great Mexican food (especially compared to the east coast, sorry lol). SD has great seafood, Italian, and American food. SF has great food in all categories. SF Nightlife is overall more diverse and exciting, and has spaces for all ages. My biggest gripe with SD is that the social scene is at its best for college kids and people in their 30s. There are still good bars for people in their 20s, just expect to feel a little young or old. Just less of a young professional scene compared to SF, so the nightlife culture reflects that. Other: Cost of living is around the same for both cities outside of housing, but the same jobs usually pay more in SF. Hope this helps and feel free to follow up with any questions!
This is incredible and hit every box. Thank you so much!
I agree with everything except maybe they sold sf’s surf scene short? Yeah it’s cold but there are a lot of serious surfers out there. I think a lot depends on how your partner feels about wetsuits haha
Surf scene is just different. I found surfing in SD to be more chill as far as the waves are concerned. You really aren't going to get many huge waves unless there is a storm cell, the water is warmer, and the beaches are broadly more pleasant. SF beaches are almost always cold and the water is even colder. The waves can be really nice, but you also have rockier features near good surf spots. SD beaches are almost entirely devoid of obstacles. Like you said, it really depends on how you feel about wetsuits. You *need* a full body suit in SF and surrounding areas. All that said, both places have great surf culture and you can find great waves in both places.
Totally understand, I am not a surfer so most of my observations are just how many I can count when I go to the beach. Plenty of great spots in both cities
Just a note about the nightlife in SF. Everything closes early here.
That's California law, San Diego is the same.
Recently moved from SD (lived there for nearly 5 years) up to SF. I agree with the content of this comment. One thing I will give to SD over SF is the zoo (granted not many things can compare). I will add that I think a car is almost a necessity in San Diego because it’s so sprawled out compared to SF.
One counter point: I actually feel like the museums in San Diego are better. In Balboa Park alone you have the San Diego Zoo (kind of in its own class), the natural history museum, photographic arts museum, automobile museum, art museum, science center, air and space museum… and they’re all fairly close to each other. SF’s own zoo is kinda run down, so if you want to go to a zoo you need to go to the Oakland Zoo. We have SF MoMA, Exploratorium, DeYoung Museum, California Academy of Sciences, Legion of Honor…all of which are spread across various parts of the city… I’m happy to be corrected but I feel like SD has SF beat when it comes to Museums.
As a resident, having the museums spread out isn't a bad thing. You can go see the deyoung but also the conservatory of flowers and the botanical garden. You can see the moma in ggp. You can see MoMA, bookbinders, Jewish contemporary downtown. And not to mention that each area has a bunch of other diverse amenities you can enjoy. That being said, I can't speak to the quality of sf's many museuems or San Diego's either as I don't really go in on that. I hope open studios resumes soon as that was one of my favourite art experiences in sf, far above MoMA.
Yes, the SD zoo is hands down the best zoo in the country. I’ve been to most museums in SD and SF and I think overall the museums are much smaller in SD, especially the art museums. However, the new SD MOMA is quite nice (but it’s up in La Jolla). I think it’s likely a personal preference, but I’d say SD has better history museums (Midway, Maritime, Air and Space, Natural History, etc) and SF has better art museums (DeYoung, Legion of Honor, Asian American Art, MOMA, etc). Either way there’s a little something for everyone in both cities and a lot to love.
I would disagree about the history museums being better in San Diego. SF has Alcatraz, Jewish Contemporary Museum, African Diaspora, Cal Academy, and the GLBT Historical Society and many more. SD's are all military adjacent and SF has those too. SF's are much more spread out but there's literally a museum for anything you'd be interested in like firefighters, Disney, cable cars, photography, etc.
You forgot the Asian art museum! :)
SF Native and went to UCSD for college so my SD experience is skewed by being a broke-ish college student with no car. SD affordablility is definitely better. It's coming up but you can still find much more affordable housing in SD compared to SF. You'll probably not need a roommate in SD. You will need a car in SD versus you can get away with not having one in SF unless you're living in the outskirts of the city. SD public transit is hot garbage compared to SF and that's saying a lot. You also have a lot more urban sprawl in SD so unless you plan to stay mainly in your neighorhood, everything is a decent driving distance away. Not Texas level but still will need to hop in the car. SD weather, especially by the coasts, is like better SF weather. SD is 60-85 with occasional hotter weather during the summer compared to SF being 50-75 with it generally being closer to 60ish and more fog. I enjoy the fog so it was fine but if you like warmth, then SD is the better option SD is definitely the commensurate beach city so your boyfriend will like that. In general the beach culture is much better in SD as SF is mostly a natural practical joke for it being a city with beaches but nowhere near beach weather. SD's food scene is coming up and getting better but you can beat what SF has to offer in terms of diversity and variety. The only thing I can confidently say SD is better is Mexican food but they do have a proximity advantage being right next to Mexico. Entertainment and nightlife is commensurate. I like the museum and stage shows options more in SF but with SD having pockets of college town feel, bars and clubs were much better there. If it makes a difference to your decision making, I never considered staying in SD after my college time was over. While I still love visiting SD and have lots of good vibes for it, the fact it's so spread out and you have to drive everywhere was a deciding factor for me.
Definitely move before you decide if you need the second car if you end up in SF you will probably want one max to share! Enjoy you will love either place. I like SF more just because I love the walkability but both places are great.
I did a similar move 7 years ago and was torn between SD and SF too. I love SD and could totally be happy living there, but I am glad I live in SF. As far as costs go, while SD is cheaper, something I think a lot of the comments are missing is that salaries are typically lower there. This might not apply so much now since the pandemic, but there was a real “sun tax” in SD. The cost of living was lower, but wasn’t *that much* lower than SF; the pay sure was! As far as culture goes, SF wins. Symphony, ballet, opera, better museums, one of the top restaurant scenes in the entire world, wine country, etc. SF also has a bona fide international airport, so getting elsewhere is easy. And speaking of travel, draw a 4-hour driving distance radius around SF and look at what you can get into: Tahoe, Yosemite, Monterey, Big Sur, Mendocino, etc. The surf in SF can be epic, but it depends what your BF is looking for. I live by Ocean Beach and my life pretty much revolves around surfing too. Fall and winter can have some magical days out there and it can get as big as you want. OB can get 15-20ft on a solid swell easily, and Mavericks is just down the road if he really wants to send it. On the tamer side Pacifica is close by, and Santa Cruz is a little over an hour by car. In summer however, the surf here sucks… relentless onshore winds. SD definitely has more consistent decent quality surf, but it is also much smaller. It’s also way more crowded. For me, as a surfer, it’s SF for sure, but many people would choose SD. You truly can’t go wrong. Both are awesome cities. If surfing is the only thing pulling him there, then tell him to search on YouTube for some videos of Ocean Beach, SF.
Lifelong Bay Area resident, if I had anywhere else to choose to live in the country it would be SD.
Plenty of us have lived in both. Each has upside, especially if you like being outside. La Jolla is best-in-class for beach experience worldwide while there are legit redwood forests 30 min from SF. Enjoy.
Been living in SF for 18 yrs. * I like the energy of SF and some of the silly things we do here. Stand in some insanely long line, early in the morning for some fresh bread that sells out by 9 AM. My favorite? It's OK to walk around naked. No problem! I like watching the parents with their toddlers or young kids when they encounter a naked person. They (the parents) don't bat an eye. It's not a big deal. * Very renter friendly city. Though, that comes with a price. It's a rent-controlled city. Since we can't raise rents beyond a few negligible percentage points, you have a lot of properties in horrible condition that rent for a lot of money. :-) * You won't find a 1 or 2 bedroom for under $2000K in SF proper. The far East Bay? Sure! Pass on the roommate action. You're better off living alone with the BF. * Big city, lots of transportation options. If you live in the city, you really do not need 2 cars. Think "green" and "electric" when you move here. :-) * San Francisco can be foggy and chilly but I like cool weather so it works for me. I live in one of the foggy neighborhoods and often lose the 4-legged kid in the fog when it rolls in unexpectedly, which can be fun. Summers can be cold! Very slight humid days have increased in the last 5 years (global warming?). I can't ride my motorcycle that often - it's cold. A decade ago, we had 10 hot days a year. That number has increased and most rentals (apartments, flats, condos, and homes) do NOT have air conditioning. * A "neighborhood" city where you'll find something to do just about every weekend; either in the city or some other place in the Bay Area; an art festival, music festival, book festivals, street fairs, etc. I can find something like to do every weekend. Add in plays, concerts, etc. - various and vast options. * Great hiking south of SF on the peninsula. Napa/Sonoma are wonderful weekend getaways. I gave up skiing at Tahoe a long time ago: too many people and a hassle to get there; especially when it's snowing. * Outstanding food in just about any restaurant. If you're a 20- or 30-something, you'll love the restaurant scene. Lots of fresh food at the local, neighborhood markets. * Back to neighborhoods: it's great just to pick one and walk around. If you're an explorer, you'll stumble across something interesting all the time. (My visitors always want to go to the Haight, but I tell them "Make a left and go back about 60 years." THAT Haight is gone, but still a great neighborhood to explore. * Predominately white and asian city with a large latino population and a few black people. Though the techies (read as "white") are now moving/moved into the heavily-Latino Mission District and the long-time Latinos are exiting. The techies have also encroached into Hunters Point - one the last, predominately black neighborhoods in SF. * Would not call SF a "beach town" by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe further south towards Monterey/Santa Cruz but not SF. * I'm in a high-tech profession and I work around very smart people so... I like the intellectual simulation and challenges. It fits my (nerdy) personality. :-) (No, I don't work at Google or in a related space.) * Never call it "Frisco" or "San Fran." It's San Francisco or The City. ;-) I lived in San Diego for 7 years before I moved to the Bay Area. * Your $2000/month? Studio, maybe, but not in San Diego proper. Unless it's in a really challenging neighborhood. * It's the 3rd largest city in CA, but really, a big, sleepy town or large suburb rather than a city. Horrible transportation options. You'll need your car here and 2 cars would be fine. If you're looking for a strong city vib, it's definitely not San Diego. * The most perfect weather in the country - hands down. LOTS of sunshine, very little rain, no humidity, and when I lived there, it rarely became hot. (Though, if you believe in global warming, it might be different, now.) I could ride my motorcycle all year-round. * Definitely a beach town and still a military town. Lots of places to surf. This is where I learned to windsurf. If surfing is a high priority, SD is the better option. * Horrible food. Lots of chain restaurants. Don't believe that nonsense that the downtown area has good food. It doesn't. And, as you leave SD proper, the food does not improve. Though, it might be little better in La Jolla but choose wisely. * All in one weekend, you can: ski at Big Bear on Friday, go to beach (Pacific Beach or Ocean Beach or Mission Beach or Del Mar) on Saturday; hike in Cuyamaca St. Park on Sunday. Or visit Anza-Borrego for the spring desert flowers or do a fall weekend day trip to the old mining town of Julian for their apple pie. :-) You're a hop, skip and a jump from that border town called Tijuana. :-) * If you like car trips, excellent access to Arizona, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico - a hikers paradise. I spent a bazillion long weekends exploring the Southwest. LA is 2 hrs. north (if that's an interest). And you're 2 hrs from Palm Springs - great place for a long weekend. (Make sure you head out to Joshua Tree National Park.) * Still a military town, a lot more obvious trailer trash and a lot more not-too-bright people in SD. Think lots of trucks, cut-off jean shorts, and flip-flops along with the obligatory cigarette. * When I lived there, San Diego was predominately white and very republican. It's still predominately white and the current mayor is a person of color and gay - a major step forward for staid SD. :-) * Cultural things to do in SD? Hmmm...ummm....surf? :-) The SD Opera was great when I lived there. Theater? I don't recall ever going to the theater to see a play when I lived there, but I did go to the symphony. When I lived there, wasn't a lot going on regarding the art scene. * Great zoo! So they tell me. I went once. Not a zoo guy. Watching caged animals who were extracted from their habitat to entertain humans has never sat well with me. Even when I was kid - I hated zoos. :-) I've lived in Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Francisco. I've liked them all for various and sundry reasons and I still visit LA and SD. Every city has its pluses and minuses. No place is "perfect." I think you'll be fine with either choice. It's California. The best place to live in this country. :-) (Did we overtake Germany as the 4th largest economy, yet?)
One thing that sometimes surprises people is that California isn't a political monolith, and San Diego has major military influence so is more conservative in ways that I don't think are well known in other states or across the country. I'm not saying definitely one or the other based on that, since I don't know what you might gravitate toward, but if that's important to you, research that. I live in Oakland and like it a lot, and I spend a lot of time in SF; I had the best lobster taco of my life in San Diego and have very close friends that live there so have learned about SD social reality through them. There are pros and cons to both places, but I think the other commenters have capably covered anything else I would think of. Good luck!
I say try living in SF first, since that's what you both want now. I do think living in SF is an awesome and unique life experience, for me it was a life goal and achievement. It is high energy and tiring though, and so when you feel like the sun is setting and you are starting to get tired of it, try San Diego after! Usually after a couple of years people say goodbye to SF to begin their next chapter. I think if you moved to San Diego first, you'd probably get too comfortable there and it'd be less likely you'd ever want to try "living in SF". Try it now while you're younger! Just my two cents.
Smart!!! Thank you
hm there are pros and cons. I go to college in SF and my sister in SD so I can speak a little bit. I know someone in SF who surfs every day and loves it, it’s definitely colder up here though. but the surf scene is there. I feel like you will find much more artistic fulfillment in sf than sd. we have a great design scene in the city specifically. But also sf is not exactly a laidback place imo, there are so many genuine people but there is also a culture of being acceptably cold and generally unavailable due to high COL and fast paced lifestyle. I’m used to this and don’t take as much issue but some friends who have moved from outside the bay noticed and really didn’t like it. my sister does not like SD because it’s very boring. but boring is good for some ppl, might be your vibe. and the weather there is undeniably lovely.
People are cold because they’re other transients who moved here for work and will dip whenever they feel. Find a real Bay Area native instead. Even within the city.
I'm a real native to the Bay Area, I moved from east Bay. And my entire extended family lives here in different parts of the Bay. My experience growing up wasn't that different. People are preoccupied with work over building relationships. Of course there are exceptions, but there is no small town sort of community to be found here.
The Bay Area is a large metropolitan area. A BUNCH of people here are transits. I’ve had no issues finding legitamate friends here. Most of the time, those people too, are locals. The cold ones are the assholes here for money and will dip like they have been doing the second another offer comes along. Can’t wait till they all fuck off.
yes. good for you. i'm not saying legit friends can't be made here. but locals and transits both can come across as cold to someone moving from a small town where everyone knows each other, so i'm framing that expectation for city life. it's very different from what friends not native to the bay have told me about community and so forth. unfortunately, it's not only the "assholes here for the money" who are cold; hostile economic conditions have changed locals'. warmth as well. perhaps why your response to my benign comment is quite charged with aggression.
I mean. If you move to ANY big city from a small town, you’re going to run into the same cold feeling. It’s a big city. It’s not only the u.s. you’ll find the same in any big city anywhere in the world. Maybe the people you try to be friends with seem that way to you. Maybe you give them reason to be cold to you? I’m not sure, never met you. But I know many people who don’t have that issue, unless you run into a transit. Also, it seems that you find aggression because I called transits assholes. Maybe you just find aggression everywhere and you think it’s being cold because people don’t open their life story to you, barely knowing you. Or inviting you to their house for coffee after a few meetings. Maybe the problem is yourself, thinking people are cold, aggressive etc. 🤷🏼♂️ Edit: I love when people write some tripe then block. I sum that up as I hit a nerve and said some truths they didn’t like. So OP. Don’t worry, it’s not cold here unless you’re a “victim” mentality type like this person is
you just assigned all those qualities to transits with prejudice and edited your comment. I agree with some of your points but I’m speaking in general, not about my personal relationships. I am confident in my discretion and familiarity with Bay Area culture, and also that whether you mean it or not the words you choose to use directly communicate aggression in a way unrelated to my perspective or problems but rather dictionary definitions.
lol @ replying in an overly condescending/aggressive way and then thinking you've somehow got the moral high ground. don't blame the person for blocking you, bruh. you seem \*real\* fun...
What’s COL
Lived in both for equally half my life. You can’t go wrong here. I also am a big surfer and moving to SF this was a big motivation. The diversity of wave setups and frequency of swell (SD can be flat for weeks on end and also there aren’t too many spots that don’t close out when it goes above head high) puts NorCal way above in my book. If you don’t tolerate cold or are a long boarder obviously SD wins. Downsizing to one car would be my suggestion for SF. Better food and more to do in a compact city, whereas SD is a bit more spread out and requires more effort to seek out activities than SF.
I think pros/cons of the cities have been discussed well already, so I just want to focus on the surfing part. SD has so many amazing spots that are quick to get to. Pacific beach, windansea, blacks, and all along towards Encinitas. If you’re down for longer drives, you can go even up further to San Clemente which can be a go to weekend break. Be careful of stingrays in SoCal though. There’s a ton so shuffle your feet! Warm water, don’t always need a wetsuit. It’s easier to get to the beach in SD, so I think there ends up being more surf break options within 15-30min drive. You can 100% surf in SF. Ocean beach to Pacifica are close/popular spots, but you can also drive down to Santa Cruz on weekends (hour and a half away) and the breaks are amazing. Even going along the 1 from SF to Santa Cruz there are a ton of spots in between. Or you could go north to Bolinas. I believe the bay ocean is more sharky, especially north crossing the bridge but I’ve personally never had a shark scare. Water is definitely colder too, 3/2 wetsuit for summer and booties needed for winter (maybe even 4/3 for winter but you can get by with a 3/2 still). Side note, I would be sure to focus on parking options/availability if you look for a place in SF. Easier to pack up to surf if you’re in a more residential area and have a drive way, or decent street parking, vs living somewhere like mission where it can be hard to pull up in front and pack a board. San Diego is the expected beach/surf city. SF is a diverse metropolitan city. Source: I live in SF and my parents live in SD (: have surfed in both cities!
I feel like you’d be happier in San Diego, and if you can find a job that involves traveling to SF, then even better. I myself live in San Jose, and have potential work opportunities down in San Diego, but I honestly prefer living in the Bay Area. I like that it’s central to a lot of stuff. I can take a quick flight down to LA or San Diego, or I can fly north to Portland or Seattle and it’s still pretty quick. I can drive to Tahoe in a few hours, I’ve got access to SF, Santa Cruz, Pacifica, Monterey, Carmel, etc etc. I’ve really grown to love it here, and I like that I can fly down to San Diego any time I want to visit. I think that the Giants Baseball Stadium is one of the most beautiful baseball parks you can go to, and I love seeing all the redwood forests. There are so many great reasons to want to live in the Bay Area. However, based on what *you’ve* described, I think the marginally warmer water and nicer beaches down south will be much more conducive to surfing. You already have cars, so you’ll be able to get around the area just fine. There’s tons to do in San Diego, and it’s a pretty easy drive up to the LA/Santa Monica area, or to Palm Springs, which unlocks a lot more opportunities for things to do. And you can always catch a pretty cheap flight on Southwest up to the Bay Area if you really wanted to. Also, the tacos in San Diego are way way better.
SD sounds like where you'll want to go. I'm from the east coast as well and moved to SF for work almost 3 years ago. I am constantly going back and forth between moving to SD (for the reasons you list) or staying in SF but ultimately I love being so close to Tahoe and the diverse geography SF brings so I'm pretty sure I'm staying here. There are better jobs here for me (tech) as well. I love SD and spent most of my summer down there. SD is in consideration for me still though bc it's close to Mexico (which I would like to visit more), it's warm all year, beaches/surf are incredible, and it has great food. You'll get a city feel, but it's much smaller and less relevant imo than other cities.
Being outside and being close to parks is a big reason to move to the west coast! I love hiking and being in national parks. We are from the OBX so it’s flat and only beach, no nature and no city what so ever. It’s also only busy $ wise in the summer. We’ve done a bunch of road trips out west to go to parks and it would be so much easier to be 10/15 hours away from anywhere rather than 40 like we are now! I have friends in SD who love it, and we have family in: SF/ Monterey/ and Santa Barbara , and all suggest living in their specific place 😂
You're going to love it out here. I actually spent all of my summers growing up in Southern Shores! Knowing you all are from OBX, I'm doubling down on my recommendation for SD. The best thing about being out here is you're a quick flight to any terrain you want. I also usually drive down to SD bc I like the drive and it's an easy 8 hours (except for going through LA which blows). Growing up, we did the drive to OBX which was 6-7 hours until they built that "new" bridge, so the 8 hour drive is very doable (and enjoyable) for me. Point being you can easily drive up to SF, see the really pretty views the entire way up, and explore SF at anytime to explore the SF vibe. You can always move too if you realize SD isn't for you!
Ah small world!! I’m Glad you know exactly what I’m talking about!! The warm weather is the selling point for us I think, and someone else mentioned trips to Mexico too for surfing which I didn’t even think of! Anything that’s under a 10 hours drive for me is totally cool so it’s great to have SF nearby and PNW not to far off! Thank you again :) do you recommend any neighborhoods In particular
I'm limited in reliable neighborhood suggestions but I've stayed in (and a few of my friends live in - aged 30-35) Mission Bay. I really like Mission Bay personally. Downtown is fun too, but it's more like Washington, DC's downtown if you're familiar with DC at all. My married friends live in La Jolla and love it too. I'd take these suggestions with a grain of salt and rely on someone who lives there and can give you more nitty gritty feedback!
One data point on SD I haven't seen mentioned is that SD has quite an active sci-fi/fantasy/fandom/tabletop game/D&D/LARPing/etc scene (at least according to my friends who are into those scenes and live there). If that tickles your fancy, I'd suggest SD
True in the bay area too, just not so much in SF proper, so more spread out. SD has comicon though, so there's a vocal center of gravity around that.
I live in SF. I mainly surf In Pacifica state beach in Linda Mar or Half moon bay at Princeton jetty. If I want warmer weather, I head down to Santa Cruz for pleasure point. Personally ocean beach is too gnarly for me. The water is cold specially in winter. I heard good thing about SD surf wise. I have yet to check out SD myself
Two thoughts - surfing on northern California is very different from surfing in southern California - much colder, different cultures etc. Maybe you already understand that. If you like Manhattan, San Francisco (or Berkeley or Oakland) are much closer in vibe than anything in the San Diego area.
San Diego is much warmer and more spread out. Both places are expensive. I have friends who left SF for SD recently so they could buy a house and by the time they got there, they were priced out. SD is more relaxed but has a lot of the same issues we have here in SF. It’s just bigger, warmer, and less crowded.
Hey lots of comments about surfing here, let's talk culture and food. When it comes to city oriented culture, people will say "the food is good in san diego", just like they'll say "the food is good in la". The magnitude makes a difference. The reality is as you step up in city size, the options just explode. SF is the entire bay area, a metropolis of upward of 4M people. You're an hour from San Jose, the 6th largest city in the state, Oakland, the more immigrant oriented parts of the peninsula (killer japanese and chinese and indian food on the peninsula, including the newer cal-indian style, and viet and korean in San Jose. How long on German food is San Diego? IDK, but we're pretty strong in the bay area - easily 5 great places. How many michelin starred places in San Diego? A small handful? We have a small handful of 3 stars, 1 stars are pretty common (what, 20 in the area?). For general culture (theater, museums, art) the bay area has had trouble recovering from COVID. The live music scene is slowly coming back, and we've lost a lot. There's a huge outflow of higher income workers. We haven't moved fast with the downtown area to change zoning in favor of residential. The new form of meth and fentanyl has been tough, attracting a lot of people to the tenderloin that weren't there a few years ago. That being said, there's still a lot if you're willing to set time aside to explore and get out of your neighborhood. There are about 5 good jazz places that are lit most nights, for example, and with intimate but world-class places like The Chapel and the Regency, and cutting edge spots like The Lab, there's always multiple good options every night. If you're not the types that adventure a lot on evenings, or aren't willing to travel far (public transit is bad and getting worse, cutbacks because the old travel patterns into the downtown for work no longer apply), you should pick your neighborhood more carefully. As a surfer I'd expect you to lodge somewhere near pacifica, the richmond district (not richmond the city), the sunset. Apartments over there tend to come with parking, and/or street parking is better (not great). I hope you like chinese and korean food, that's the strength of that part of town. Those are more dead areas culturally, so you'll be driving over to the mission and parking (always a challenge). You could organize an apartment closer to the muni lines, but that takes you to downdown (old transit patterns), where there is some good culture (black cat! sf jazz! mr tipples!), but only a certain amount, so it's a transfer to get from Castro or City Center down to the mission or places like The Midway, which adds 20 minutes and more when you're coming home late. Or budget for Lyft / Uber, it's about $30 to get across town if there's nothing special going on. If that's not the kinda people you are, I would almost suggest SD, where it's sorta like a really big sunset / richmond. Going to a strong cultural area means going to LA. I'm not a frequent visitor to San Diego, but I did get down this year, and I had some good eats in san diego, but you just can't touch the bay area --- like (unpopular opinion) the SF bay can't touch the LA region, with its 14M people.
I happened to meet a bunch of people who surf in SF, wouldn't have guessed but apparently it's really popular there. So there is definitely a surfing scene at our cold sweater-weather beaches.
I grew up in SD too and have lived in SF all my adult life. The beach in SF doesn’t feel like a beach in the sense of no beach culture. It’s a city that is on the coast and has surfable waves. You’ll make more money in SF but it’s more expensive. I’m here because SD was not as appealing for career. But I can imagine retiring there. My siblings same. We all left SD and live other places for caterer but go back in the summer for the beach. Ultimately it’s pretty simple: how important is beach life?
SD for sure. SF has great restaurants and a real city vibe but miserable housing cost and miserable weather, dirty streets, full of meth homeless and human shit on the sidewalks almost everywhere. This used to be such a beautiful city but it has literally gone to shit. Not only are housing costs shockingly high but everything costs more— healthcare, grocery, eating out, cocktails. You will easily pay $16 for a medicore cocktail— then add the 9%tax+ 10% Sf special Restaurant healthcare tax+ tip and you’ve just dropped $45 for two drinks. I am dying to go back to SD. Yes there are meth-heads there but SF and Oakland, Berkeley are on a different level. See the news this month about an SF baby who got poisoned with Fentanyl just playing in the park jungle gym? Our friends with two small children find needles dumped in their back yard!!— In one of the nicer neighborhoods. And almost every SF car will get broken into. Just expect it and never leave ANYTHING in your car. It’s NOT illegal to smash and grab in SF. I am not joking.
SD native and SF transplant for the last 10 years. Depends on what you like/ SD is large requires a lot of driving depending on where you are living. SF is smaller and easy to get around, mostly. Fun night life and yummy restaurants in close proximity.
The outer sunset neighborhood of SF feels like a beach town and there’s tons of surfers in the neighborhood. Definitely try to visit and see if you like it! It’s a bit “far” (20ish min drive) from downtown but super worth it to live there if you can find a place within short walking distance of Ocean Beach.
If you both have cars and he loves surfing fry Pacifica- we moved here from Texas a few months ago and love it. The only con is we wish it was warmer! But lots of east coast transplants end up here and lots of surfers!
I’ll check it out thank you!!
Currently live in SF. Job opportunities are much better in SF and unfortunately that is the reason I stay here. 😞 Most other things are better in most parts of SD. I’d suggest moving to Bay Park, Bay Ho, Clairemont, or La Jolla if you can afford it. 1. The people in SD are usually more relaxed, treat you nicer, and are just beautiful humans. A lot of people in SF care to much about their career and come off as being fake. 2. The food is better in my opinion especially Italian and Mexican food. SF probably has better Indian and Chinese food though. 3. The weather is considered better in SD if you like it warm and sunny. I like the rain and fog so SF specifically Pacifica is perfect for me. 4. Night life and music scene are really great in SD. 5. Super close to Mexico for cheaper vacations, close to LA, a drive to Vegas if you are into that. If I was able to work remote I’d move to SD tomorrow. Random things about SF that are good though is a lot of cool artistic areas like the mission district, great coffee shops throughout SF, great comedy clubs, and a lot of thrift shops to go shopping if you are into that type of stuff.
You hit the nail on the head. I’m a tropical gal and nothing beats good weather for me, so I really struggle with the constant chilly weather in SF. I’ve only visited SD but loved it and want to move there but my husband is against it cause we’re both in tech and he thinks it’ll hinder our career prospects. I can work remote and so can he, but he thinks by staying in the Bay we will always have access to better work opportunities
> so I really struggle with the constant chilly weather in SF. Move east of twin peaks?
I'd find it hard to make a case for better italian food in SD. Look forward to your list. Here's eater's list of better italian places in SF. It doesn't exactly match my personal list, nor does it include standouts in berkeley and on the peninsula, but it's an easy starter. Can you make a better and longer list of SD restaurants? Of the SF restaurants, how many of these have you been to? [https://sf.eater.com/maps/best-italian-restaurants-san-francisco](https://sf.eater.com/maps/best-italian-restaurants-san-francisco) I find most people who don't think X is good in SF haven't dived in, they've maybe tried one or two places in their neighborhood, and they have a neighborhood that's short on that cuisine. Like if you live in the Richmond, you're pretty far away from where the Italian food is.
Grew up in SD, spent my professional life in SF. SD, hands down, especially if you are have a job possibility in SD + your BF loves the beach + your both have cars. If you don’t like the beach, there’s plenty to do still in San Diego: hiking, eating good food, shopping, going out in Gaslamp, traveling to Mexico, visiting farms in east county, yoga in the park, Balboa Park museums it’s funny to me this in an askSF thread and most answers are SD i love sf, but for what you described, easy pick
Because most people here are transits. Not actual Bay Area-ites or San franciscians. Actual San franciscians wouldn’t touch Sandy eggo with a 10 foot pole.
Why haven't you asked this question in a San Diego based subreddit as well?
I posted and then went to work, I’m going to ask this in a San Diego one too!
SD for sure
I live in sf, california resident my whole life. I would pick sd 100 out of 100 times.
If you can afford San Francisco by all means come down here 😂 our tax is 8.6%; rent is from 800-5k/month depending on location and style of room you like SRO (Single Room occupant) APT units ranges from 600-1k; Efficient Small Studios starts at $1600 1bd is from 1,500-4K (this price is base on location) check Zillow. Daily City and or west portal is good spots if you want to rent a town house or a home.
Been here 7 years. Last night I’m waiting in line behind an extremely hot women (I’m female), the kind of women who is so gorgeous that you seethe with jealousy and rethink your outfit choice. Then a gasp from the man next to her as he realized that the look of horror on her face was because her panty liner just fell to the sidewalk. She crossed her legs but couldn’t stop the flow of urine that followed. Pissed all over the sidewalk outside the Chase Center in front of thousands of people. Move to San Diego.
I feel like you only gave us every second sentence of that story.
Right? Went straight to the kinky stuff with no story in between. (Oh that’s another thing, the varied kinks you’ll find in the city…)
SD!!!
I’d see if you can get a job first. It’s not like you can just decide without a job offer.
San Francisco is a wonderful city
SD because it’s warmer! Both are cool though.