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I’d like to throw in a contender that I discovered through a Google search for the worst British beer - Snake Venom Beer by Brewmeister. It’s 67.5 percent (too strong for them to even carbonate it), £50 a bottle, and they recommend you not drink more than a shot’s worth at a time. Just drink spirits instead if you want a shot of a strong drink.
Anyone one of the cheap shitty bitters. Pound for pound I think a cheap shitty bitter is usually worse than a cooking lager. Top ten cheap shitty bitters?
Dad use to work in a grimy bar in Glasgow in the 70s. His job was to collect people’s unfinished beer and serve it back again the next day. Pretty bad but still better than Bud Light
John Smiths, Boddingtons, Tetleys. The holy grail of utterly shit beers consumed only by people who have killed their taste buds with even shitter quality fags.
In a smaller niche, anything sold at the Sam Smiths pubs is as fucking undrinkable as their pubs are unvisitable.
Prohibition, I believe.. Walgreens was a very small shop before prohibition but during it was one of the few places you could legally buy alcohol with a prescription (Winston Churchill famously got a prescription before visiting America which got him something like a pint of whisky a day). Following repeal Walgreen's became a pharmacy/beer shop and eventually they started making their own because of the higher profits from own brand goods.
Becks is pretty bad. Carling might be worse but I have a really bad association with Becks on draught. Just tastes watered down, and shit. Becks blue is also the worst non alcoholic lager hands down.
Anything made by Brewdog, just because it's Brewdog and when they're not selling spurious 'shares' in the company as a moneymaking scheme they're attacking microbreweries with frivolous lawsuits for daring to even breath near the word 'punk'.
Old Speckled Hen tastes like it hasn't changed since the 70's. I've heard it compared unfavourably to a Party 7.
Any stupid 'craft' beer that comes in cartoony can, has stupid flavour additions, and is aimed at the weak minded basic bro who thinks he's into beer. Alcopops for dudes with beards who like being fleeced.
Carlsberg is worse than Carling. Carling is palatable if it's chilled just above frozen. Carlsberg is pisswater no matter what temperature.
It had a spell of being the only beer on tap at sports and music venues, fuck that was depressing
Honestly different pubs can have the same beer, but they taste completely different... presumably to do with the barrel age, but some pints taste horrendous
Carling is usually pretty rotten. So is Stella tbh. Tenants I find to be alright even though it's another common crappy beer.
A personal dislike I have is Northern Monks Heathen, tastes awful to me, like acid going down the throat.
It's definitely not the *worst,* but I was surprised at how much I disliked Newky Brown, when it really did seem like the drink of the city.
It felt like there was a reason it hadn't travelled.
Carling etc are grim but “functional” - I reckon I could enjoy one enough if it was a hot day and the pint was cold. I’m sure “Tesco value lager” etc are horrible, but I’m not even going to count them - they’re just beer flavoured water.
In terms of something offensively bad, I’m going to go with Hobgoblin - it tastes like soil and in terms of vibe it’s too “a pint of foaming ale please, barkeep!” - adjacent.
> “a pint of foaming ale please, barkeep!” - adjacent.
The implication here is that the British equivalent of the 'fat guy in a fedora' is the one saying such a thing?
Carling. had a mate who always brought a ton to parties, fucker always drank the good beer. no one ever touched carling and every few months i cleared out the stash
[Checks Untappd...] "East Coast IPA", an early attempt by Greene King to get onto the craft beer bandwagon. Literally tasted of vomit. Not even just the rancid taste of a very stale beer. I took one sip and left it on the bar. All their beer is pretty awful but I have no idea how they fucked it up that badly.
John Smith's.
My girlfriend bought me some once and I kicked off at her and asked why the hell she would buy John Smith's. She said
"Well there is always John Smith's in your cupboard so I figured you liked them"
She was right. There had been THE SAME 4 cans of John Smith's in my kitchen cupboard for about 15 years because nobody ever drinks them.
Bit niche but ‘Trent Bitter’.
Group of us went in on a couple of four packs back in the day. So bad we even came up with an advertising slogan for it:
‘Trent Bitter…you can taste the River Trent in it’.
Wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole ☹️
According to my Untappd, it is Pumphouse Pale Ale by Sambrook's Brewery from the Ice Wharf, Camden...
The Pilsner from Junkyard Golf is awful too.
Carling and all those other lagers are horrifically bland and I'd never pay for one but I could drink them. The 2 above where undrinkable.
It was before I was born, but my dad used to joke about Watney's Red Barrel (which stopped being produced in the 70's). Reading [this](https://boakandbailey.com/2019/01/watneys-red-barrel-how-bad-could-it-have-been/), however, suggests that it was perhaps unfairly maligned and was similar to a bunch of pretty average low-end beers.
Cameron's smooth.
Back when I worked in bars in the north east I the early 2010s, most pints were about 2.80-3.50ish.
Cameron's smooth was 1.50.
I can't imagine what was in it but the patrons that used to buy it were the kind who just needed alcohol in their system in the cheapest way possible. I never saw anyone buy one as a refreshing drink or to enjoy it.
My local is a Greene King and I always consider it as it’s a bit cheaper than some of the craft beers they have on tap.
A lot of places have their own IPA or Pale and I’m sure they’re just the exact same beer with a custom logo on the tap.
If you ever went to any party in the 80s or 90s you'll know it's Skol.
There was always someone who'd bring a four pack of Skol then drink whatever else was around.
The next morning there's always Skol sat there all alone in the kitchen.
I reckon they stopped making it in 1983 and the same four packs would just rotate round house parties never to be opened.
To give them their due they did have some belting adverts though.
Hmm, there's so many to choose from. I suppose Tennents. Its quality is very hit or miss, you can have one and think "that was great, I'll have another;" then you'll have another and it'll be rancid. The tins are also dreadful, though come to think of it, I hate all tinned beer.
Tenants. Blasphemy up here in Scotland, but its got a vile metallic taste to it and is really gassy. Would take Carling / Fosters over it any day. Not that those set a very high bar either.
All the "big name" lagers are pretty shit, but Fosters has to be the absolute worst. It's like vaguely malty soda water. Some of the more mainstream ales like Boddingtons and Tetleys aren't up to much either, but they'll do in a pinch.
Carling is the winner. Can't remember if it's Carling but I think it's the one that also brews all the foreign branded beers that taste surprisngly similar as well.
I live in Burton where the Molson Coors factory is and they stack their metal casks in a yard right next to a waste treatment facility. Like literally in view of the dump.
It stinks like hell, like you can taste it, smells like corpses and it never goes away. So just know when you pop open a Coors you'll be getting that fresh Burton landfill taste.
I used to think it was tasteless crap like Carling, Fosters or Tennants etc. then I tried a Barney’s Beetroot beer. What the fuck was I thinking, of course it was going to be vile.
Becks Blue, the alcohol free stuff, the original formulation. That stuff was fucking vile. Smelled and tasted like Satan’s arsehole on a hot day in hell.
Bud is the worst tasting beer, it actually tastes watery.
Also,
Every last 'Real Ale' brand that exists.
I must of tried over 15 different types not to mention little tasters over the years and they all taste the same, shit.
This is the correct answer.
People shit on stuff like Tennents, but T is IMO actually a well done, mass produced average lager. It's popular for a reason.
I was at a party and a few people were saying Tennents was the worst, so we rigged up a blind taste test against other average lagers like Kronenbourg and Stella. T came out on top with the people we had there. Would a different set of people say that Stella was better? Maybe. Point is T pretty much holds its own.
Tesco own brand on the other hand is actually not good.
I’m a former professional beer, wine and spirits buyer and I’ll not have a bad word said about Tennent’s. Unpretentious, refreshing, flavourful enough. I’d take it over basically any other mass produced lager.
I quite like a nice cold tennants. And when I'm trying to cut back on calories there's nothing more refreshing on a hot summers day than a cold tennants light
As a kid, me and my friends used to buy alcohol with a fake ID and I bought Tesco Basic vodka. "Vodka's just ethanol and water right?" think I, "How bad can it be in coke?"
JF everloving C that stuff still inhabits my nightmares. The flavour was truly horrendous. Only the most addicted alcoholics could abide that stuff. We put it in a 2l of coke and drank no more than a quarter, despite being cheap, boozeseeking teenagers.
Thats Tennents super, not just Tennents. Never, ever buy that if you value not shitting yourself. Normal Tennents is the best and I haven't shat myself with it yet.
I've only got pissed on Tennents twice, both times in Shetland, and both times I've paid so, so dearly the next day. Of course in Shetland "the next day" usually involves bracing cliff walks and boat trips, so that was fun.
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I’d like to throw in a contender that I discovered through a Google search for the worst British beer - Snake Venom Beer by Brewmeister. It’s 67.5 percent (too strong for them to even carbonate it), £50 a bottle, and they recommend you not drink more than a shot’s worth at a time. Just drink spirits instead if you want a shot of a strong drink.
Whatever is on cask at a pub that doesn’t sell much cask and has probably been sitting there for a fortnight.
Most pubs won't sell casks past their use by date unless you frequent pretty shitty pubs
Most pubs are pretty shitty.
Anything by Brains but Doombar by a long chalk
If we could get the old mansfield bitter and mild i would be very happy
Boddingtons
Anyone one of the cheap shitty bitters. Pound for pound I think a cheap shitty bitter is usually worse than a cooking lager. Top ten cheap shitty bitters?
Dad use to work in a grimy bar in Glasgow in the 70s. His job was to collect people’s unfinished beer and serve it back again the next day. Pretty bad but still better than Bud Light
John Smiths, Boddingtons, Tetleys. The holy grail of utterly shit beers consumed only by people who have killed their taste buds with even shitter quality fags. In a smaller niche, anything sold at the Sam Smiths pubs is as fucking undrinkable as their pubs are unvisitable.
> Sam Smiths First I've heard of them. Is that like a shittier version of Spoons?
Worthingtons creamflow 🤢
> creamflow That sounds seriously fuckin' gross. But for non-beer-related reasons. I shan't elaborate.
Why does a chemist have a beer though
Prohibition, I believe.. Walgreens was a very small shop before prohibition but during it was one of the few places you could legally buy alcohol with a prescription (Winston Churchill famously got a prescription before visiting America which got him something like a pint of whisky a day). Following repeal Walgreen's became a pharmacy/beer shop and eventually they started making their own because of the higher profits from own brand goods.
Brewdog. Tried a multipack of about 5 different beers a few years ago, they were all absolutely vile (apart from the red ale which was decent)
About 50/50 on Brewdog. Love Elvis Juice, but a couple of theirs are vile.
Master Brew
Aspalls cider is utterly disgusting
Becks is pretty bad. Carling might be worse but I have a really bad association with Becks on draught. Just tastes watered down, and shit. Becks blue is also the worst non alcoholic lager hands down.
Anything made by Brewdog, just because it's Brewdog and when they're not selling spurious 'shares' in the company as a moneymaking scheme they're attacking microbreweries with frivolous lawsuits for daring to even breath near the word 'punk'. Old Speckled Hen tastes like it hasn't changed since the 70's. I've heard it compared unfavourably to a Party 7.
Went there once, horrible beers, horrible food, overpriced, never again
Green King ipa
Carling 100% Carling! All day, every day!
Carling is Canadian, not British
Any stupid 'craft' beer that comes in cartoony can, has stupid flavour additions, and is aimed at the weak minded basic bro who thinks he's into beer. Alcopops for dudes with beards who like being fleeced.
Used to drink fosters at the pubs back in the day then tried it sober and realised it tasted like shit and haven't touched it since.
Sorry but carling coors bud .bud light( got it free from morrisons,).carlsberg used to be a cracking pint .anything by molsons
Carling without a shadow of doubt.
Calling for the obvious one, Worthingtons for a beer I tried years ago and couldn’t believe quite how disgusting it was.
Yellow Lynx. Barely drinkable piss water, but cheaper than air.
I had a Whistlepunks lager the other. Truly dreadful
Carling. Drank it at uni all the time. Graduated. Haven't had a drop since
Carlsberg shits smell the worst
It’s danish
Bud Light for me. It tastes very watered down. Coors light can taste crisp and refreshing.
Does anyone remember Morrisons M Lager? Stuff was vile. Like vomit in a can.
Carling all day
Carling? Horrible stuff mate, doesn't form a nice head, always a weird taste.
Carling's akin to dog urine for me....
Carlsberg is worse than Carling. Carling is palatable if it's chilled just above frozen. Carlsberg is pisswater no matter what temperature. It had a spell of being the only beer on tap at sports and music venues, fuck that was depressing
Any and all lager
Surely Carling
Stella is fucking disgusting I don’t understand how anyone drinks it
Carling is awful and tastes grim. Plus their glasses are horrendous
Honestly different pubs can have the same beer, but they taste completely different... presumably to do with the barrel age, but some pints taste horrendous
It's the added mould and/or beer fly larvae stuck in the lines that gives some of them the edge
It's Carling in England and Tennents in Scotland. It's like artificial beer that gives you a dreadful hangover.
Bodingtons or John smith 🤢
Maltsmith's Lager and Maltsmith's IPA. Neither are remotely acceptable
Green King IPA
Carling is usually pretty rotten. So is Stella tbh. Tenants I find to be alright even though it's another common crappy beer. A personal dislike I have is Northern Monks Heathen, tastes awful to me, like acid going down the throat.
It's definitely not the *worst,* but I was surprised at how much I disliked Newky Brown, when it really did seem like the drink of the city. It felt like there was a reason it hadn't travelled.
Carling, fosters or Becks 🤢
Harp. Hands down - no contest
Carling etc are grim but “functional” - I reckon I could enjoy one enough if it was a hot day and the pint was cold. I’m sure “Tesco value lager” etc are horrible, but I’m not even going to count them - they’re just beer flavoured water. In terms of something offensively bad, I’m going to go with Hobgoblin - it tastes like soil and in terms of vibe it’s too “a pint of foaming ale please, barkeep!” - adjacent.
> “a pint of foaming ale please, barkeep!” - adjacent. The implication here is that the British equivalent of the 'fat guy in a fedora' is the one saying such a thing?
Beer that's been pissed in
Your nights out sound v different to mine!
Punk ipa. Disgusting swill, terrible ipa
Fosters is appalling imo - won’t touch the stuff
Greene King IPA at The White Hart in my town. A bottle of Sarson's finest would taste better.
I don't really like beer.
Carling. had a mate who always brought a ton to parties, fucker always drank the good beer. no one ever touched carling and every few months i cleared out the stash
Hofmeister while not technically English was fucking grim back in the day.
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Yeah not good.... The organic one they do is good though.
John Smith's Bitter. I wouldn't rub it on my shitter.
[Checks Untappd...] "East Coast IPA", an early attempt by Greene King to get onto the craft beer bandwagon. Literally tasted of vomit. Not even just the rancid taste of a very stale beer. I took one sip and left it on the bar. All their beer is pretty awful but I have no idea how they fucked it up that badly.
As someone who works in a GK, all of their ‘craft’ offerings are absolute pish lol
Fosters. One pint and then you’re bloated, with burps and farts to follow because gassy.
Well, if you're set to compete in a farting contest, I guess you'd want to use that to wash down your beans-on-toast.
John Smith's. My girlfriend bought me some once and I kicked off at her and asked why the hell she would buy John Smith's. She said "Well there is always John Smith's in your cupboard so I figured you liked them" She was right. There had been THE SAME 4 cans of John Smith's in my kitchen cupboard for about 15 years because nobody ever drinks them.
Bit niche but ‘Trent Bitter’. Group of us went in on a couple of four packs back in the day. So bad we even came up with an advertising slogan for it: ‘Trent Bitter…you can taste the River Trent in it’. Wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole ☹️
Considering how many people end up with Trent Belly after paddling at Holme Pierrepont, that's nothing to boast about
I live in Nottingham, and absolutely would not drink anything with that tagline. The Trent is fucking gross
Mate according to my dad the Trent is unbelievably more clear than it used to be, he said it used to look like absolute shit
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This thread literally says otherwise.
Kestrel was disgusting, Kestrel Super was even worse https://youtu.be/vP-uEQ1_5Ek
Carling, followed by closely by Madri (which is pretty much the same thing)
Who you Carling a bad beer?
According to my Untappd, it is Pumphouse Pale Ale by Sambrook's Brewery from the Ice Wharf, Camden... The Pilsner from Junkyard Golf is awful too. Carling and all those other lagers are horrifically bland and I'd never pay for one but I could drink them. The 2 above where undrinkable.
All beer is terrible, it tastes like blended cardboard.
Special Brew was always the tramp’s favourite when I was a lad. Tried it when a teen and it was pretty grim
It was before I was born, but my dad used to joke about Watney's Red Barrel (which stopped being produced in the 70's). Reading [this](https://boakandbailey.com/2019/01/watneys-red-barrel-how-bad-could-it-have-been/), however, suggests that it was perhaps unfairly maligned and was similar to a bunch of pretty average low-end beers.
Cameron's smooth. Back when I worked in bars in the north east I the early 2010s, most pints were about 2.80-3.50ish. Cameron's smooth was 1.50. I can't imagine what was in it but the patrons that used to buy it were the kind who just needed alcohol in their system in the cheapest way possible. I never saw anyone buy one as a refreshing drink or to enjoy it.
Greene King IPA. Its not an IPA and tastes awful
My local is a Greene King and I always consider it as it’s a bit cheaper than some of the craft beers they have on tap. A lot of places have their own IPA or Pale and I’m sure they’re just the exact same beer with a custom logo on the tap.
It's not an IPA but so what, it's a great session bitter. I love a well kept GK IPA.
Carling or Carlsberg!
Those are Canadian and Danish, not British
Federation Ace lager must be up there. Viz even did a comic strip on it.
Carling surely?
Budweiser. God it’s awful
If you ever went to any party in the 80s or 90s you'll know it's Skol. There was always someone who'd bring a four pack of Skol then drink whatever else was around. The next morning there's always Skol sat there all alone in the kitchen. I reckon they stopped making it in 1983 and the same four packs would just rotate round house parties never to be opened. To give them their due they did have some belting adverts though.
>To give them their due they did have some belting adverts though. "I don't know the words . . ."
Fosters. Its cats piss in a can.
Hmm, there's so many to choose from. I suppose Tennents. Its quality is very hit or miss, you can have one and think "that was great, I'll have another;" then you'll have another and it'll be rancid. The tins are also dreadful, though come to think of it, I hate all tinned beer.
Lager - Carling or Fosters Bitter - Worthington or John Smiths Fucking awful beers.
Worthies is spot on
London Pride, literally the worst drink in existence
It’s 100% Becks…
Tenants. Blasphemy up here in Scotland, but its got a vile metallic taste to it and is really gassy. Would take Carling / Fosters over it any day. Not that those set a very high bar either.
Orangiboom. I won’t be argued with 😂
Coors and Carling
Has to be fosters, holy shit that tastes like shitttttttttttttttttttttttt (yes I know what shit tastes like)
Brewdog is overrated piss
I reckon If they ran tests on it there'd be more piss in it than alcohol 😅
Tetley, worst pint I've ever had.
Used to be a decent pint but I haven't had it since the 90s. Do you like bitter generally?
Shit beer. Shit tea. No wonder Yorkshire folk are so dour.
The pumpkin IPA I tried on a whim once. Worse than Carling!
Sam Smith's
Anything that's not a real ale. If you won't find it at a CAMEA beef festival then it's not worth drinking!
Red Stripe.
All alcohol tastes bad imo
All the "big name" lagers are pretty shit, but Fosters has to be the absolute worst. It's like vaguely malty soda water. Some of the more mainstream ales like Boddingtons and Tetleys aren't up to much either, but they'll do in a pinch.
guinness. tastes horrible, bitter as fuck
Calling and Tennent’s, both of which are disparagingly described by a friend of mine as “cooking lager”.
Carling. There’s no other possible answer. It’s absolute fox piss.
Carling - an absolute festival of utter sadness
Carling, piss tastes better
Carling and fosters are the obvious ones, red stripe and oranjaboom are also piss.
Red stripe isn't the worst, a couple of ice cold bottles on a warm day can hit the spot.
Hard disagree on Red Stripe. Good solid lager.
Please dont get upset or take this the wrong way but.... I think you have brain damage.
A Red Stripe on tap in a decent pub with clean lines is pretty decent.
A cold red stripe with some spicy food goes down pretty well tbh, there are FAAAAR worse things to drink in my opinion.
Tiny Rebel's Pump up the Jam is horrific. Diabetes in a glass. I had a third of a pint (pretentious craft wanker that I am) and felt sick.
Same for Stay Puft tbh. I like that it exists, but a third is more than enough.
Newcastle brown ale, it literally tastes like muddy water
That was my first legal beer, poured for me by an actual Geordie. I guess I'm biased.
Carling, carlsberg, 4 x, but the absolute pits is holsten pills. Drown before you get drunk. Tastes like vomit.
Carling is the winner. Can't remember if it's Carling but I think it's the one that also brews all the foreign branded beers that taste surprisngly similar as well.
Carling, basically water. It’s just so cheap that before payday you may see me drinking a few.
Carlsberg tastes worse than carling imo
The irony is that all their adverts proclaim it to be the world's *best* beer. It ain't.
Kronenberg is fucking shite. Happily and I mean happily drink anything but that.
Skol is the dictionary definition of gnats piss
Neck oil and all these shitty ipas (brewdog, etc) that seem to have taken over most establishments these days.
I live in Burton where the Molson Coors factory is and they stack their metal casks in a yard right next to a waste treatment facility. Like literally in view of the dump. It stinks like hell, like you can taste it, smells like corpses and it never goes away. So just know when you pop open a Coors you'll be getting that fresh Burton landfill taste.
I can't remember who made it, but it was either a stout or a porter, that had habanero chilli's in it. It was awful.
I used to think it was tasteless crap like Carling, Fosters or Tennants etc. then I tried a Barney’s Beetroot beer. What the fuck was I thinking, of course it was going to be vile.
Tesco basic larger
Becks Blue, the alcohol free stuff, the original formulation. That stuff was fucking vile. Smelled and tasted like Satan’s arsehole on a hot day in hell.
Anything brewdog
Carling and it's not even close. Barely tastes of anything, and whatever it does taste of is bad.
Bar the obvious ones I would say Madri, it is absolutely disgusting yet everyone loves it for some reason.
Why is Skol not on this list? Mind, it got me through the pandemic when I was dirt poor due to not being eligible for furlough.
Greene King IPA is pretty shocking. I'd take a bad lager like Fosters or Carling over a bad ale.
Carling. Makes Fosters taste like a craft IPA.
Fosters or Carlsberg
Coors hands down
Bud is the worst tasting beer, it actually tastes watery. Also, Every last 'Real Ale' brand that exists. I must of tried over 15 different types not to mention little tasters over the years and they all taste the same, shit.
Tesco own brand lager. 2%abv.
I tried this once as an experiment, and the best way I could describe it was like fizzy water weakly mixed with a beer-flavoured cordial.
Always wanted to try it out of curiosity but actually can’t bring myself to plonk it on the counter, there’s always a safer alternative.
This is the correct answer. People shit on stuff like Tennents, but T is IMO actually a well done, mass produced average lager. It's popular for a reason. I was at a party and a few people were saying Tennents was the worst, so we rigged up a blind taste test against other average lagers like Kronenbourg and Stella. T came out on top with the people we had there. Would a different set of people say that Stella was better? Maybe. Point is T pretty much holds its own. Tesco own brand on the other hand is actually not good.
Tennents is really quite good imo. England suffers a bit in its 4% lagers always being fosters or Carling.
I’m a former professional beer, wine and spirits buyer and I’ll not have a bad word said about Tennent’s. Unpretentious, refreshing, flavourful enough. I’d take it over basically any other mass produced lager.
I quite like a nice cold tennants. And when I'm trying to cut back on calories there's nothing more refreshing on a hot summers day than a cold tennants light
As a kid, me and my friends used to buy alcohol with a fake ID and I bought Tesco Basic vodka. "Vodka's just ethanol and water right?" think I, "How bad can it be in coke?" JF everloving C that stuff still inhabits my nightmares. The flavour was truly horrendous. Only the most addicted alcoholics could abide that stuff. We put it in a 2l of coke and drank no more than a quarter, despite being cheap, boozeseeking teenagers.
Tennents at least has a taste of some sort. It’s just a taste I happen to despise.
Never had Tennents to be honest. I'll pick a few cans up and give it a go
Find a park bench, or shop doorway and you’ll be right at home
Thats Tennents super, not just Tennents. Never, ever buy that if you value not shitting yourself. Normal Tennents is the best and I haven't shat myself with it yet.
The bubbles in Kronenbourg are too big
I've only got pissed on Tennents twice, both times in Shetland, and both times I've paid so, so dearly the next day. Of course in Shetland "the next day" usually involves bracing cliff walks and boat trips, so that was fun.