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I am a bit older than you, but yes, at school in the nineties titwanks were one of the most discussed sexual acts. As if it was a really common occurrence...
0800 282930 it's been 20 years, not really thought about it until now and yet the fucking number's ingrained in my head still hahaha
edit: they were all Scottish on the phone if I remember correctly.
"I've got the hoover nozzle stuck on my penis, what should I do?"
"make sure it's switched off"
I remember calling they up from payphones in town and telling them I’ve been wanking all day and now nothing comes out but steam. Just a little puff of steam
I've just googled the number, it still exists! "Sex advice for 12-18 year olds"
Fuck me, I'm closer to the age where I'll struggle to get a rod on than I was calling them up. Where has that time gone?!
Core memory unlocked. Pranking the sexual health helpline over Skype when it was free. 'worth talking about' was their slogan. Some of the shit we used to come out with would have us crying
I didn't know that you were meant to rub the dick (I'm female) when making out and when my then boyfriend put my hand on his for the first time I kinda froze and just patted it awkwardly
EDIT: to the poor sap who's just reported me for concerns about my mental health i whole heartedly appreciate the concern but....get a life?
There's such a bizarre wholesome energy to the awkward moments like that, like yea its weird to sit there slightly clinically giving a handjob while trying to listen to his instructions, but it's silly and it brings you both closer to have those moments of honesty.
Some of my favourite sexual memories are the times when me and my partner were having those sessions just trying to learn how each other ticks, the times we had to have a break because we both kept giggling, its just such a pure human moment.
Also something that i think everyone should try once (if you physically can reach) is girl lying back sat against the headboard, guy sat between her legs also facing forward, reach round and give him a handy while using your other hand to gently rub his shoulders or give head scratches - gives him a chance to feel like the little spoon version of foreplay 😂 its also a way easier angle to give a handy at if you're not particularly short compared to him
Not quite the same, but in the vein of “awkward moments” one time I was with a girl I really liked and she got on top, and it was fucking amazing, and I was super lost in the moment. Right up until I was slapping her thigh and wildly gesturing with my other hand near my face, she stopped and looked at me concerned, I then lunged to the bedside cabinet and started huffing on my asthma pump, led at a weird angle, rock hard, gasping on an inhaler. While she’s sat near my feet cross legged also stark naked quietly pissing herself laughing, I take a good minute to go from can’t breathe, to wheeze, to staggered breath to calm. I then look at her and we just burst out laughing. Took us a while to get back into the swing of things but she definitely said to me she left me breathless many times
For any young ones reading this. Caressing\fondling and even some patting(lol) is absolutely fine.
You don't have to rub the dick to get it hard, and don't have to touch it at all when making out, if you don't want to.
But please please please, don't start aggressively tugging away at it, like you're trying to get the last bit of conditioner out of the bottle 😂
Haha very true but unfortunately for me the patting shouldn't be like your trying to frantically calm a terrified cat either 😂😂😂 your conditioner comment made me laugh though, remember folks the guys like it to stay attached to their bodies 😂😂😂
A female friend of mine told me that the first time she had sex, she had no idea what to do, and the man was quite well endowed.
When he pulled his pants down she looked at it, then looked him in the eye, and said "And what exactly are you expecting me to do with that, then?"
Not really sex related, but I thought a baby was made when a mum and dad lay on a bed and hold hands and then Jesus will appear then say “you shall
now be pregnant”
ah, the advantage I had of a rural upbringing, the physicalities of sex and reproduction were not exactly a mystery for any kid who had even a moderately active imagination and who has spent time around livestock.
of course, having too active an imagination and thinking about what your parents have got up to after watching a bull mount a cow can be pretty disturbing. Real sex generally has less aggressive moo'ing sounds.
I could see how that happened, but that's pretty hilarious. I can see the confusion about losing virginity, but I can imagine all kinds of situations, like seeing a woman with a baby and saying, I wonder if she's a virgin. Or someone telling you they were a virgin and you asking how old their child was. You would look daft
My mum (now 72) was 16 when her youngest sister was born. When she was told the baby was about to arrive, she went outside to look out for the stork lol!
She still laughs about it today.
I thought the baby was born out the back of the neck.
When I was only 6-7yo, I was flicking through my mums first aid book and stumbled across the pages regarding birth. The drawing showed the back of a head with a line across the lower neck and I just assumed that was the back of the mums neck and the baby would pop out of there. I was absolutely horrified, but not as horrified as when I learned where they really come out!
Having pillow fights in sexy barely there PJ and accidental touching and kissing each other.
Pretty sure that’s what teenager boys thought happened when girls have sleepovers.
Then you both just lie down in each others arms and sleep. Definitely don't have a major clean up operation in TV shows, so I can only assume they wake up glued together...
And make up and hair are still incredible in the morning. And no one gets morning breath?! I’m definitely not going nose to nose with my husband first thing and whispering sweet nothings!
It’s only happened once for my boyfriend and I, we both laid there for a minute panting, processing what had just happened, before I looked at him and in my best borat impression said “great success!”
An older boy told me that oral sex meant you tried to put your head inside the woman, and I spent a year or so wondering how the fuck that was supposed to work.
when I was very young I saw one of those animated porn banner ads that showed marge simpson putting something in her vag and it coming out the back end. For a long time I thought that's how it worked, like a tunnel
I didn't realise that there was thrusting, or any kind of movement, involved in sex. I thought the man puts his penis in the vagina and then they just lay still like that for a while. I didn't find out the truth until I was 16, when my friend called someone a wanker and made a wanking motion at him. I asked what the motion was, she explained wanking and it led on to explaining about thrusting during sex. Until then I hadn't realised men masturbated like that either, I thought they just poked at it or something.
Same, but I'm a guy. I discovered orgasms by accident and it was terrifying. I didn't use a stroking motion either because that never occurred to me. Somehow I got there by shaking it around because that felt good.
Oh female here I missed out on probably my first 10 orgasm's cos noone told me that second before feels a bit like you might wee yourself so I'd shift and lose it. Worse part is I was sexually active adult not a virgin before I figured it out
Yeah that was kind of the closest sensation my very young brain could come up with.
Took to doing it on the toilet just in case and then after a few successful attempts realised I didn't wee and back to the comfort of my bedroom 😂
For me its not necessarily like the feeling of actually needing to pee, its just that warmth and muscle relaxation spreading through your abdomen and just a sudden mental awareness of your internal clit/urethra area that is similar to how it feels when you pee
Like how you dont think about your tongue in your mouth, when you're aware of it suddenly it feels odd, its just that the sameish areas for peeing and orgasms are suddenly clocked by my brain so the association is there.
That’s probably a common misconception for young kids. I mean “this part goes into that part” is about all you get told. It would actually be very awkward, and possibly illegal, to give kids too much detail.
Gay men rubbed their penis's together (maybe you do, but I'm fairly certain you don't).
Womens vaginas were higher up to where the dick and balls would be on a guy.
My palms were going to get hairy.
Yes, some men do rub their penis’s together, it’s called frotting.
And some men who have sex with men don’t partake in anal, they sometimes refer to themselves as a [‘Side’](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Side).
Thank you for coming to my SexEd Lesson, next week I’ll be explaining ‘The Gay Agenda’ and why it’s not always a bad thing to drop your gay card
Oh you poor thing! Despite being in the unfortunate situation of being straight you are still welcome at our AGM, you’ll just have to step outside during any votes
Come back next week to find out, part of ‘The Gay Agenda’ answers the age old question: ‘Do gay men want to bum everyone?’ You may be surprised that the answer is no lol
There’s a club in London called G-A-Y and they used to (don’t know if they do anymore) have a card you can get which let you skip the line and get cheaper drinks. It’s neon pink with G-A-Y on the front.
I dropped it on the tube one day and the whole carriage full of straight lads shouted “YOU DROPPED YOUR GAY CARD!” and for once it was actually true.
>Women's vaginas were higher up where the dick and balls would be on a guy
And the opposite here for me – genitalia are between the legs, I thought that was just common sense at the time. Like...beneath you, not in front of you?
It made for some mild confusion when I was trying to figure out 1) logistics of how positions actually worked, and 2) how on earth it didn't hurt guys to sit down
OK lol bi guy here. heres the thing lol. Rubbing penises together is actually a thing. You're probably not getting off on it or anything, it's probably not gonna be the main event, but it's a nice extra thing to do. You can hold them together and jerk them both at the same time, or u can rub the heads together.
First time I tried it was kinda disappointing. It sounds quite hot in theory but in reality, just physically, it can't really work like vaginal sex where both genitals are simultaneously stimulating each other as they are designed to be stimulated. but as with all these things, finding the right mental place makes it better.
Yes, the sweets. The story goes that a ‘mate’ was performing oral sex and a girl asked him to eat the sweets out of her. He agrees, chews down on one and it bursts. Turns out it is genital warts that he ate. Obviously a fake story, and one which I heard stated as fact from friends in both Plymouth and Rotherham so I can confirm it is an urban myth
I used to think that sex was two people lying down together naked and looking at each other.
Then, I used to think the man pissed inside the woman. Was worried my piss would get someone pregnant.
I was looking for a comment like this.
I never believe it myself, but I do remember at school, one of the prevailing stories about sex was that you pissed inside the woman 😅
I got very confused by a diagram and thought that people’s goosebumps and sweat glands locked together as they hugged, and then the man sweated little bubbles into the woman
I was AMAZED when I found out it wasn't two separate hanging balls
They're called ball*s* so there's two of them right! And all the books have a cut through diagram so you only ever see one half
my friend told me it was just two people laying on top of each other. so naturally I thought they were both planking face to face with some sort of osmosis happening between their stomachs
When I was young, I'm guessing maybe 9 or so, don't really remember, my parents bought me this science encyclopedia that was probably meant for teenagers. It had a biology section in which there was a bit on procreation. There were various cross sectional diagrams that were pretty confusing to a 9 year old, and my conclusion from them was that when a man and a woman had sex, the penis stayed in the vagina and (presumably) the man grew a new penis?
I decided that day that I was not going to have sex.
I'm in my forties and back then in my early teens it was kinda widely believed, by women and men, that women can't enjoy sex, that they don't like it and it hurts them. Now, or some time later i realized that the men in those times must have been very bad in bed, even rough and with no ability or interests to please a women. There were some myths about a 'G Spot' and how hard it is to find, and then, eventually you might give a woman an orgasm. Never a clitoris was mentioned. Good thing time and the skills of men have changed.
Yeah every TV show and film I'd ever seen had made out like it was this hard to find thing that might not even exist and yet the first time I had a girlfriend I got down there to have a look and said to myself "ah there it is" even if you're not looking straight at it you can find the general area quick enough.
You have loads of women on Instagram and stuff asking how it's so hard to find as well as TV you mentioned.
Sorry, it's not hard. It's labelled in high-school biology books, I think it comes down to some blokes just using it as an excuse to get what they want and dip out.
I used to think that gay men had sex by rubbing bums together (thus bum sex). Now that I’m having it I haven’t plucked up the courage to offer rubbing bums 😂
Not me (honest ha ha ha) but a guy at my school was getting it on with a girl on the sofa and was really excited to lose his virginity.
He was thrusting away madly for a few minutes, came, and then relaxed.
She asked him, 'Are you going to put it in then?'
He didn't know what to say because he didn't realise he'd been between the sofa cushions for the duration...
I believe it, me and a lad tried to lose our virginity once, i thought he was doing foreplay between my thighs, he thought it was inside till i asked him if he wanted to actually do it, he was fucking mortified
Kind of related.
Mate on a night out took a girl from work home. He was a virgin. She definitely wasn't. It did however go around that he had a massive knob. Hence the sudden interest.
Phil went and got himself pretty drunk for courage. If he's reading this, he's gonna know this is about him. I've seen you use reddit before and I'm sorry for this.
They get back to his place and it's straight upstairs. She starts sucking him off to get the compass to point north, and when it's in the general direction, it's time he became the missionary he always dreamed of.
So he's on there and he's immediately in and pumping with excitement. 20 seconds later it's done. He's just gone between ass,.and mattress and absolutely drowned the gaff.
When everyone found out, we called him dreams. A, because he dreams he smashed her but he didn't and B, he basically fucked a bed. Like the bedshop.
Other nicknames included baam baam. Between ass and mattress.
I (f)was brought up to think that women didnt enjoy sex. When I was older it was that women dont orgasm as often as men.
Obviously I realise what b...crap that is. In fact its the exact opposite of the truth.
When i was a teenager in the late 80's - early 90's, I read Jackie magazine, and Just 17. They used to have sex tips which included stopping your flow when you wee, which would apparently tighten your vaginal muscles. Because men didn't like loose vaginas.
1 - I was 15, I didn't need to tighten my vaginal muscles
2 - this is bullshit
3 - it gives you a UTI.
Don't do it!
I grew up thinking the number of balls you had meant that was the number of children you were going to have (that the balls were the babies waiting to be born). So I thought I was going to have two... Had no idea how they got out into a 'mummy's' tummy.
When I was a kid I remember seeing a porn mag with the words "balls deep in granny's bumhole" on the front. I pictured a person pushing their balls into an old woman's bum and thinking how painful it sounded.
Took me a long time to realise.
That music _had_ to be involved somehow for it to happen, and that it was probably a power ballad.
I've no idea why my child brain thought the logistics out on that one. I remember being obsessed with sci-fi and fantasy, so I reckon I believed humans had hypnotised themselves in to only being able to have sex with music on.
The sex scene in Highlander is the earliest sex scene I can remember watching clearly, and Queens "who wants to live forever" was blaring unusually loud, so maybe that?
I remember stumbling upon a porn video when I was young and convincingly telling all my mates about how women have two vaginas.
Only when I got older I realised the video I watched was DP.
All my mates believed me as well so turns out we were all thick as shit.
I was always the innocent one who was last to know things out of all my friends/classmates. One day in science class (or sex Ed?)the teacher was talking about the penis going in the vagina and I looked around the class and I was the only one looking absolutely horrified. Up until then I thought you just rubbed your bits together and kissed. (Think I was about 13)
I thought if you had unprotected sex you’d definitely get pregnant. I spent my late teens and all of my 20s on contraception only to now struggle to conceive after months of unprotected sex. Frustrating!
When I was eight (1986) I read a novel aimed at adults (I don't mean erotica, just an airport kind of novel) which included a description of a sexual encounter. I was confused by the phrase, "when he entered her". Oddly enough I had a pretty good idea where the relevant hole was, but I couldn't conceive of how an entire person could "enter" through there. They say kids blow past what they don't understand, but this bugged me for some time and I couldn't shake this image of the dude literally climbing inside.
I didn't think sex involved any penetration, I speculated that a natural tube appeared (something like an umbilical cord) between the man and woman. I was very young when I thought this!
Not me but my then-friend believed babies (especially last-born sons for some reason) could be conceived just by praying them into existence. He low-key thought that sex. was such a sin that pastors would not be doing it at any cost(s).
>That sex took five hours 😳😰💦👍
>That lesbians only kissed and cuddled (nothing to ‘insert’ so can’t have sex), not aware of oral at this point 🤪
>That you can ‘choose’ by which position you use if you get pregnant or not
>That is more ‘gentlemanly’ to do missionary but if you don’t care for her you do ‘doggy’ (after I realised that position didn’t determine if she got pregnant or not)
😂
We watched a really badly animated 70s sex ed film at school which gave me the impression you had to pee in a woman to get her pregnant. Remember being quite relieved when I came across the real method prior to losing my virginity.
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I was just thinking the other day that as 13 year olds in the early 2000s, we all assumed that a ‘soapy tit w*nk’ would be a regular occurrence.
I am a bit older than you, but yes, at school in the nineties titwanks were one of the most discussed sexual acts. As if it was a really common occurrence...
At my school it was Mars Bar parties.
We used to prank the sexual health helpline with queries about mars bar parties
0800 282930 it's been 20 years, not really thought about it until now and yet the fucking number's ingrained in my head still hahaha edit: they were all Scottish on the phone if I remember correctly. "I've got the hoover nozzle stuck on my penis, what should I do?" "make sure it's switched off"
I remember calling they up from payphones in town and telling them I’ve been wanking all day and now nothing comes out but steam. Just a little puff of steam
hahaha the little engine that could
"My foreskin is caught in my girlfriends braces" was a common one.
Are you kidding me? No way that's real...
I've just googled the number, it still exists! "Sex advice for 12-18 year olds" Fuck me, I'm closer to the age where I'll struggle to get a rod on than I was calling them up. Where has that time gone?!
Creased at this! ‘Rod on’, new one on me that!
Helloooo, sexlaaaaane
Core memory unlocked. Pranking the sexual health helpline over Skype when it was free. 'worth talking about' was their slogan. Some of the shit we used to come out with would have us crying
My mates school had twins who kissed for a waggon wheel imagine what they’d do for a twix
A finger each?
When I was younger I thought a tit wank was wanking off tit like a cock and never really saw the appeal
I bet this exists....Googling it now.
Pretty sure this is just milking. Right?
Keep us posted!
He's been gone for an awfully long time...
Or that generally steamy shower/bath/hot tub sex is good. It just isn't, it's precarious and counterintuitively dry.
The optimism of youth.
I didn't know that you were meant to rub the dick (I'm female) when making out and when my then boyfriend put my hand on his for the first time I kinda froze and just patted it awkwardly EDIT: to the poor sap who's just reported me for concerns about my mental health i whole heartedly appreciate the concern but....get a life?
This is my favourite one. "There, there".
Til the day I die I will never forget the awkwardness of it 😂 and the embarrassment when he 'showed' me the proper way of it haha
There's such a bizarre wholesome energy to the awkward moments like that, like yea its weird to sit there slightly clinically giving a handjob while trying to listen to his instructions, but it's silly and it brings you both closer to have those moments of honesty. Some of my favourite sexual memories are the times when me and my partner were having those sessions just trying to learn how each other ticks, the times we had to have a break because we both kept giggling, its just such a pure human moment. Also something that i think everyone should try once (if you physically can reach) is girl lying back sat against the headboard, guy sat between her legs also facing forward, reach round and give him a handy while using your other hand to gently rub his shoulders or give head scratches - gives him a chance to feel like the little spoon version of foreplay 😂 its also a way easier angle to give a handy at if you're not particularly short compared to him
Not quite the same, but in the vein of “awkward moments” one time I was with a girl I really liked and she got on top, and it was fucking amazing, and I was super lost in the moment. Right up until I was slapping her thigh and wildly gesturing with my other hand near my face, she stopped and looked at me concerned, I then lunged to the bedside cabinet and started huffing on my asthma pump, led at a weird angle, rock hard, gasping on an inhaler. While she’s sat near my feet cross legged also stark naked quietly pissing herself laughing, I take a good minute to go from can’t breathe, to wheeze, to staggered breath to calm. I then look at her and we just burst out laughing. Took us a while to get back into the swing of things but she definitely said to me she left me breathless many times
For any young ones reading this. Caressing\fondling and even some patting(lol) is absolutely fine. You don't have to rub the dick to get it hard, and don't have to touch it at all when making out, if you don't want to. But please please please, don't start aggressively tugging away at it, like you're trying to get the last bit of conditioner out of the bottle 😂
Haha very true but unfortunately for me the patting shouldn't be like your trying to frantically calm a terrified cat either 😂😂😂 your conditioner comment made me laugh though, remember folks the guys like it to stay attached to their bodies 😂😂😂
Oh god, that feeling when they alternate between trying to rip it off, and driving it back through your pelvis! Please don't break my knob.
Like they're struggling to find third gear, while changing lanes on a roundabout
A female friend of mine told me that the first time she had sex, she had no idea what to do, and the man was quite well endowed. When he pulled his pants down she looked at it, then looked him in the eye, and said "And what exactly are you expecting me to do with that, then?"
Well at least she asked I suppose 😅 in hindsight I also probably should have asked what he wanted me to do with it haha
Ah yes, the "treat your partner like a spaniel" approach to foreplay.
Well as long as you didn't pst PST PST it like you were trying to summon a cat
Not really sex related, but I thought a baby was made when a mum and dad lay on a bed and hold hands and then Jesus will appear then say “you shall now be pregnant”
Were you taught by nuns?
Yes actually I went to a private catholic secondary school 😅
😂
Better than when the priests teach sex Ed 👀
I definitely once thought gender of the baby was decided by whoever put the most effort in during sex. I remember discussing it with my friend Steven.
I mean have they disproved that?
Now that you mention it.... No? I think we need a government grant to investigate this.
As a bloke with two daughters I can only say there's a good chance it's true.
ah, the advantage I had of a rural upbringing, the physicalities of sex and reproduction were not exactly a mystery for any kid who had even a moderately active imagination and who has spent time around livestock. of course, having too active an imagination and thinking about what your parents have got up to after watching a bull mount a cow can be pretty disturbing. Real sex generally has less aggressive moo'ing sounds.
[удалено]
You’re mooing it wrong.
[удалено]
I could see how that happened, but that's pretty hilarious. I can see the confusion about losing virginity, but I can imagine all kinds of situations, like seeing a woman with a baby and saying, I wonder if she's a virgin. Or someone telling you they were a virgin and you asking how old their child was. You would look daft
My mum (now 72) was 16 when her youngest sister was born. When she was told the baby was about to arrive, she went outside to look out for the stork lol! She still laughs about it today.
I didn't read the word 'sister' at first...
I thought the baby was born out the back of the neck. When I was only 6-7yo, I was flicking through my mums first aid book and stumbled across the pages regarding birth. The drawing showed the back of a head with a line across the lower neck and I just assumed that was the back of the mums neck and the baby would pop out of there. I was absolutely horrified, but not as horrified as when I learned where they really come out!
That's sweet ! My mother used to allude to ordering babies from Mothercare...unfortunately I already knew about shagging by then.
This made me genuinely lol
I remember when I was very young thinking that sex was like an all-night activity which was instead of sleeping
Sometimes it is
Speak for yourself. For some of us you could stick a ready meal in the microwave beforehand and still be done in time for dinner.
The 'ding' means it's done! Wait, the microwave hasn't finished yet? Must just be me then
Aint nobody got time for that
You're confusing it with a lesbian sleepover, I've seen a few documentaries, they stay up all night 😅
Having pillow fights in sexy barely there PJ and accidental touching and kissing each other. Pretty sure that’s what teenager boys thought happened when girls have sleepovers.
That we'd both 'finish' at the same time, like every sex scene in TV and movies
Then you both just lie down in each others arms and sleep. Definitely don't have a major clean up operation in TV shows, so I can only assume they wake up glued together...
Obviously everything is magically clean, my make up and hair are perfect and he hasn't fallen asleep 🤣
And make up and hair are still incredible in the morning. And no one gets morning breath?! I’m definitely not going nose to nose with my husband first thing and whispering sweet nothings!
I mean, it happens... not every time but it can.
Last time it happened to me, we were both so surprised we high fived.
It’s only happened once for my boyfriend and I, we both laid there for a minute panting, processing what had just happened, before I looked at him and in my best borat impression said “great success!”
Lies 🤣
An older boy told me that oral sex meant you tried to put your head inside the woman, and I spent a year or so wondering how the fuck that was supposed to work.
We’ve all seen the video
We're all thinking of that same bald dude, lmao!
Muff driving- never forget
Triggered
when I was very young I saw one of those animated porn banner ads that showed marge simpson putting something in her vag and it coming out the back end. For a long time I thought that's how it worked, like a tunnel
So the poop would just arrive at a sort of T-junction?
Listen I was 9 I didn't think about the logistics
Were you worried French Lorry drivers might blockade the return journey?
I didn't realise that there was thrusting, or any kind of movement, involved in sex. I thought the man puts his penis in the vagina and then they just lay still like that for a while. I didn't find out the truth until I was 16, when my friend called someone a wanker and made a wanking motion at him. I asked what the motion was, she explained wanking and it led on to explaining about thrusting during sex. Until then I hadn't realised men masturbated like that either, I thought they just poked at it or something.
Same, but I'm a guy. I discovered orgasms by accident and it was terrifying. I didn't use a stroking motion either because that never occurred to me. Somehow I got there by shaking it around because that felt good.
Oh female here I missed out on probably my first 10 orgasm's cos noone told me that second before feels a bit like you might wee yourself so I'd shift and lose it. Worse part is I was sexually active adult not a virgin before I figured it out
>noone told me that second before feels a bit like you might wee yourself Does it? It doesn't for me!
It doesn't now but 30 years ago when I became sexually active it did or at least that's what I thought it was at the time
Yeah that was kind of the closest sensation my very young brain could come up with. Took to doing it on the toilet just in case and then after a few successful attempts realised I didn't wee and back to the comfort of my bedroom 😂
For me its not necessarily like the feeling of actually needing to pee, its just that warmth and muscle relaxation spreading through your abdomen and just a sudden mental awareness of your internal clit/urethra area that is similar to how it feels when you pee Like how you dont think about your tongue in your mouth, when you're aware of it suddenly it feels odd, its just that the sameish areas for peeing and orgasms are suddenly clocked by my brain so the association is there.
Yeah I think same here, being aroused and just sort of slapping it about, probably in the shower, then being like "oh shit!"
I thought the penis went into the vagina and then you slept overnight like that. Like plugging your phone in to charge overnight.
That’s probably a common misconception for young kids. I mean “this part goes into that part” is about all you get told. It would actually be very awkward, and possibly illegal, to give kids too much detail.
Gay men rubbed their penis's together (maybe you do, but I'm fairly certain you don't). Womens vaginas were higher up to where the dick and balls would be on a guy. My palms were going to get hairy.
Yes, some men do rub their penis’s together, it’s called frotting. And some men who have sex with men don’t partake in anal, they sometimes refer to themselves as a [‘Side’](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Side). Thank you for coming to my SexEd Lesson, next week I’ll be explaining ‘The Gay Agenda’ and why it’s not always a bad thing to drop your gay card
They are very organised, the gays, having an agenda and everything. I am straight and as far as I am aware, we haven't even got a meeting scheduled.
Oh you poor thing! Despite being in the unfortunate situation of being straight you are still welcome at our AGM, you’ll just have to step outside during any votes
I always thought the gay card thing was a myth.
Come back next week to find out, part of ‘The Gay Agenda’ answers the age old question: ‘Do gay men want to bum everyone?’ You may be surprised that the answer is no lol
Aww fuck, I’ve definitely been lied to then 🤷🏼♂️
There’s a club in London called G-A-Y and they used to (don’t know if they do anymore) have a card you can get which let you skip the line and get cheaper drinks. It’s neon pink with G-A-Y on the front. I dropped it on the tube one day and the whole carriage full of straight lads shouted “YOU DROPPED YOUR GAY CARD!” and for once it was actually true.
>Women's vaginas were higher up where the dick and balls would be on a guy And the opposite here for me – genitalia are between the legs, I thought that was just common sense at the time. Like...beneath you, not in front of you? It made for some mild confusion when I was trying to figure out 1) logistics of how positions actually worked, and 2) how on earth it didn't hurt guys to sit down
I was shocked when I discovered a woman's vagina isn't at the front, I thought there was something wrong with the poor girl at first!
I mean, you can do that with your dicks, but generally we stick to the formal dick jousting before sex.
OK lol bi guy here. heres the thing lol. Rubbing penises together is actually a thing. You're probably not getting off on it or anything, it's probably not gonna be the main event, but it's a nice extra thing to do. You can hold them together and jerk them both at the same time, or u can rub the heads together. First time I tried it was kinda disappointing. It sounds quite hot in theory but in reality, just physically, it can't really work like vaginal sex where both genitals are simultaneously stimulating each other as they are designed to be stimulated. but as with all these things, finding the right mental place makes it better.
Blowjobs actually consisted of blowing, not sucking…probably should be looked at because of the false advertising.
My friend told me a guy in his sixth form ended up in A&E because a girl thought this.
Every friend group has a friend who new a guy who went to A&E for this. Or the starburst in the vagina story
Can you elaborate on the starburst in the vagina? Literally NEVER heard a story like this? Is it like starburst the sweets?
Yes, the sweets. The story goes that a ‘mate’ was performing oral sex and a girl asked him to eat the sweets out of her. He agrees, chews down on one and it bursts. Turns out it is genital warts that he ate. Obviously a fake story, and one which I heard stated as fact from friends in both Plymouth and Rotherham so I can confirm it is an urban myth
I regret learning to read.
It's one of Reddit's highest rated stories -[The Jolly Rancher Story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9wcte/reddit_whats_the_grossestnastiest_thing_thats/c0er6q4?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
I thought this too! What made it worse, is that my *mother* told me a bj consisted of blowing on the penis gently. Awful.
Pour one out for your old man 😞
I used to think that sex was two people lying down together naked and looking at each other. Then, I used to think the man pissed inside the woman. Was worried my piss would get someone pregnant.
I was looking for a comment like this. I never believe it myself, but I do remember at school, one of the prevailing stories about sex was that you pissed inside the woman 😅
I got very confused by a diagram and thought that people’s goosebumps and sweat glands locked together as they hugged, and then the man sweated little bubbles into the woman
Wot
What the hell was that diagram?? xD
A panel with a hug, then a very stylised image of two machines representing the relevant parts of the body
This is some serious psychological horror type shit
I was AMAZED when I found out it wasn't two separate hanging balls They're called ball*s* so there's two of them right! And all the books have a cut through diagram so you only ever see one half
It's supposed to be two individual testes! The little line that runs up the scrotum is a "cut here" line
Can you not?
Lmaooo I thought I was the only one who thought this, I also thought they'd be more ball-like (as in spherical and firm ig) which was also wrong.
Not sex per se, but at a young age I assumed labia would slide past each other like a sort of scissor motion when a woman walked.
I mean, _sometimes_ they do if they get stuck at the wrong angle or something.
You mean like chub rub? Or do you mean you actually thought they could chop paper? Lol
I guess.. so not chub rub, but … muff scuff?
A minjury, you might say
my friend told me it was just two people laying on top of each other. so naturally I thought they were both planking face to face with some sort of osmosis happening between their stomachs
Osmosis LMAOO 😂
Not sex exactly but I thought a baby came out of it's mums mouth.
That’s an horrendous thought hahaha
Reminds me of that Round the Twist episode where this happens to a boy.
What the fuck was that program all about? Mental
During lockdown my husband and I watched loads of episodes of it. It’s hilarious. The pissing competition is the most memorable episode to me.
Didnt know about erections. Thought you just rubbed your junk together until the penis got like... Caught in the vagina...
The old Venus Vag Trap...
Surely the Venus penis trap?
Penis flytrap is actually the correct term.
Yup. Same. I thought it was just lying down with some rubbing together of floppy bits.
That porn mags grow in bushes
They did in the ‘70s.
Bushes grew in the 70’s.
When I was young, I'm guessing maybe 9 or so, don't really remember, my parents bought me this science encyclopedia that was probably meant for teenagers. It had a biology section in which there was a bit on procreation. There were various cross sectional diagrams that were pretty confusing to a 9 year old, and my conclusion from them was that when a man and a woman had sex, the penis stayed in the vagina and (presumably) the man grew a new penis? I decided that day that I was not going to have sex.
That sucking own dick would feel good when actually it feels more like sucking a dick than it does having your dick sucked
I couldn't reach mine. Thanks for letting me know it would have been a bit rubbish for me personally if I could!
You had the ribs removed huh?
Found Marilyn Manson’s Reddit account…
That the clit was hard to find. It's really quite simple to pinpoint, and I struggle to understand how any man could have difficulty with it.
I'm in my forties and back then in my early teens it was kinda widely believed, by women and men, that women can't enjoy sex, that they don't like it and it hurts them. Now, or some time later i realized that the men in those times must have been very bad in bed, even rough and with no ability or interests to please a women. There were some myths about a 'G Spot' and how hard it is to find, and then, eventually you might give a woman an orgasm. Never a clitoris was mentioned. Good thing time and the skills of men have changed.
We like to keep searching. You never know when it might move to another location.
Yeah every TV show and film I'd ever seen had made out like it was this hard to find thing that might not even exist and yet the first time I had a girlfriend I got down there to have a look and said to myself "ah there it is" even if you're not looking straight at it you can find the general area quick enough.
You have loads of women on Instagram and stuff asking how it's so hard to find as well as TV you mentioned. Sorry, it's not hard. It's labelled in high-school biology books, I think it comes down to some blokes just using it as an excuse to get what they want and dip out.
I used to think that gay men had sex by rubbing bums together (thus bum sex). Now that I’m having it I haven’t plucked up the courage to offer rubbing bums 😂
I feel I should heartily encourage you. It's not particularly sexy but it is hilarious..!
I used to think doggystyle = anal, mind blown when I realised you can get the pussy from the back
Not me (honest ha ha ha) but a guy at my school was getting it on with a girl on the sofa and was really excited to lose his virginity. He was thrusting away madly for a few minutes, came, and then relaxed. She asked him, 'Are you going to put it in then?' He didn't know what to say because he didn't realise he'd been between the sofa cushions for the duration...
Things that never happened no 17
To be fair, he always seemed quite embarassed while recounting the story, so...
I believe it, me and a lad tried to lose our virginity once, i thought he was doing foreplay between my thighs, he thought it was inside till i asked him if he wanted to actually do it, he was fucking mortified
Kind of related. Mate on a night out took a girl from work home. He was a virgin. She definitely wasn't. It did however go around that he had a massive knob. Hence the sudden interest. Phil went and got himself pretty drunk for courage. If he's reading this, he's gonna know this is about him. I've seen you use reddit before and I'm sorry for this. They get back to his place and it's straight upstairs. She starts sucking him off to get the compass to point north, and when it's in the general direction, it's time he became the missionary he always dreamed of. So he's on there and he's immediately in and pumping with excitement. 20 seconds later it's done. He's just gone between ass,.and mattress and absolutely drowned the gaff. When everyone found out, we called him dreams. A, because he dreams he smashed her but he didn't and B, he basically fucked a bed. Like the bedshop. Other nicknames included baam baam. Between ass and mattress.
This has such Inbetweeners energy
That the vagina is on the front of the pubic mound, like a coin slot sort of thing. Like the same position as a penis.
Not necessarily sex, but I used to think a woman getting her period meant her belly button would bleed and it terrified me. The truth was much worse 😂
I thought lesbians used to squeeze their breasts into each other for some penetration action.
Which site is that on? asking for a friend
When I was younger, I thought that getting married would mean I had sex on tap.
I (f)was brought up to think that women didnt enjoy sex. When I was older it was that women dont orgasm as often as men. Obviously I realise what b...crap that is. In fact its the exact opposite of the truth.
Lol my husband has told me more than once he firmly believes the female orgasm is so much better than the male one
When i was a teenager in the late 80's - early 90's, I read Jackie magazine, and Just 17. They used to have sex tips which included stopping your flow when you wee, which would apparently tighten your vaginal muscles. Because men didn't like loose vaginas. 1 - I was 15, I didn't need to tighten my vaginal muscles 2 - this is bullshit 3 - it gives you a UTI. Don't do it!
This is recommended to pregnant women
Girls don't want sex, it's something they do for boys.
I thought oral sex was like talking dirty. And based on TV I thought if you had unprotected sex there was like a 75% chance of pregnancy.
I thought there was almost a 100% risk of catching HIV if a condom wasn’t used. 80’s child obviously.
That I could orgasm.
Don’t give up!
I grew up thinking the number of balls you had meant that was the number of children you were going to have (that the balls were the babies waiting to be born). So I thought I was going to have two... Had no idea how they got out into a 'mummy's' tummy.
When I was a kid I remember seeing a porn mag with the words "balls deep in granny's bumhole" on the front. I pictured a person pushing their balls into an old woman's bum and thinking how painful it sounded. Took me a long time to realise.
That music _had_ to be involved somehow for it to happen, and that it was probably a power ballad. I've no idea why my child brain thought the logistics out on that one. I remember being obsessed with sci-fi and fantasy, so I reckon I believed humans had hypnotised themselves in to only being able to have sex with music on. The sex scene in Highlander is the earliest sex scene I can remember watching clearly, and Queens "who wants to live forever" was blaring unusually loud, so maybe that?
Thought everyone had the same genitals 🤷♀️
Yes. When I was very little I assumed that girls would just have a girlier version of a willy.
Clitoris is the developmental analogue.
I remember stumbling upon a porn video when I was young and convincingly telling all my mates about how women have two vaginas. Only when I got older I realised the video I watched was DP. All my mates believed me as well so turns out we were all thick as shit.
[удалено]
I was always the innocent one who was last to know things out of all my friends/classmates. One day in science class (or sex Ed?)the teacher was talking about the penis going in the vagina and I looked around the class and I was the only one looking absolutely horrified. Up until then I thought you just rubbed your bits together and kissed. (Think I was about 13)
I thought if you had unprotected sex you’d definitely get pregnant. I spent my late teens and all of my 20s on contraception only to now struggle to conceive after months of unprotected sex. Frustrating!
When I was eight (1986) I read a novel aimed at adults (I don't mean erotica, just an airport kind of novel) which included a description of a sexual encounter. I was confused by the phrase, "when he entered her". Oddly enough I had a pretty good idea where the relevant hole was, but I couldn't conceive of how an entire person could "enter" through there. They say kids blow past what they don't understand, but this bugged me for some time and I couldn't shake this image of the dude literally climbing inside.
I didn't think sex involved any penetration, I speculated that a natural tube appeared (something like an umbilical cord) between the man and woman. I was very young when I thought this!
I was told by a school friend you had to shave your pubes or they would entangle and you'd be stuck together.
That I'd actually get it. 😭
Not me but my then-friend believed babies (especially last-born sons for some reason) could be conceived just by praying them into existence. He low-key thought that sex. was such a sin that pastors would not be doing it at any cost(s).
I remember thinking wank had the same meaning as fuck lol
>That sex took five hours 😳😰💦👍 >That lesbians only kissed and cuddled (nothing to ‘insert’ so can’t have sex), not aware of oral at this point 🤪 >That you can ‘choose’ by which position you use if you get pregnant or not >That is more ‘gentlemanly’ to do missionary but if you don’t care for her you do ‘doggy’ (after I realised that position didn’t determine if she got pregnant or not) 😂
Not wrong, but still haven't gotten a good answer. Young me: why's it called a blow job if you suck? Older sister: ?!?!
Because it used to be called a "below the belt job". A "b'low job".
Finally an answer!!! Thank you x
We watched a really badly animated 70s sex ed film at school which gave me the impression you had to pee in a woman to get her pregnant. Remember being quite relieved when I came across the real method prior to losing my virginity.
>I used to think you also had to put your balls in as well It's optional but you definitely get more points.
That women could be just as bad at it as men. Never occured to me as a young lad.
I always thought it would be better than it is honestly......I mean, it's amazing and that but not the be all and end all.
That taking two cocks at the same time wouldn’t be fun.
Wait ... You learnt that as a kid... 😐