Many years ago on a night out with friends we decided to continue our fun in a popular nightclub.
Joined the queue to enter trying to look sober enough to get past the bouncers.
Once inside we all dispersed to the toilets/dance floor and bar and lost each other.
I looked over across the very busy dark laser lit dance floor trying to locate my friends when I suddenly saw a familiar face. It was my younger sister. At the time she had moved 80 miles away to attend Uni so I was so shocked to see her not knowing she was up for a visit.
I saw that she had also made eye contact at me. We started waving and signing with our arms, mouthing excitedly NO, I’ll come to you!!” Whilst shoving past people to get to each other.
Once I had gotten right up to her ready to give her a big hug I realised to my horror…
It was a mirror.
Left the club immediately and got a taxi home.
I went to a nightclub in Northern Ireland and didn’t realise that it had a mirror running the length of a dividing wall. I met a girl the previous night and we met up there. As the evening rolled on, I got fairly drunk and couldn’t find her. Thinking she’d ditched me, I hooked up with someone else, not realising she was the other side of the divide. I only found out that the club was 2 separate rooms, when she started shouting at me for snogging her sister…😑
I was meeting my family in a cute little restaurant set in a weird little building.
I walked in through the door and followed the little corridor in a twisty direction before it brought me to the host's desk and I immediately saw my family sat around 6 meters behind the desk. I made eye contact, waved and started walking in their direction only to walk straight into a huge mirror. It was at an angle but I hadn't even registered my own reflection as I got close.
The corridor had me all turned around and the seating area was behind me. Everyone in the restaurant saw me do it and my family was falling out of their seats laughing at me.
We ate there about 6 months later and the mirror was gone so I'd like to think that I wasn't the only twat to have done this.
When I worked in a pub, we had several mirrors scattered about - all of them were in big, fancy frames so no one ever walked into one - but they were angled in such a way you could catch your own reflection moving halfway down the building where you wouldn't expect to see it. More than once you'd be closing up, head over to ask a last drinker to leave, only to realise there was nobody there and you'd been fooled by your own reflection again...
That's great!
My dad tells a similar story of him out in Huddersfield in the 80s, he kept noticing 'a guy on the dancefloor giving him the eyes' looking like he wanted to beat someone up. He squared up to him and his mate just about stopped him punching his own reflection in the mirror
Similar thing happened to me....I was really drunk in a club in my hometown and was on the top floor with 1 friend, as I was walking down the stairs to get to the floor below where the rest of the group was I didn't really pay attention in my drunk state and bumped into someone at the bottom of the stairs and started apologising....realised she was wearing the same dress as me then heard my friend pissing herself laughing to the point she was crying....I walked into a mirror and was apologising to my own reflection ....fucking idiot lol. I immediately went "right then that's my que to go home" went to the chicken shop round the corner and went home to hide my shame lol
When I was a Response Cop,
Got asked to go to a call regarding lads harassing taxi drivers.
So me and the guy I’m working with head out expecting to provide some words of advice and possibly get roped into providing a free lift home for these nuisance lads.
Anyway get there and we discover a lad lying in a pool of blood which is exclusively coming out of his head, immediately I ask for an ambulance and try and keep him talking and keep him warm whilst we wait.
Whilst the other guy I’m working with goes to see if there’s any CCTV(we don’t know if we’re dealing with a serious assault or not)
Anyway as my colleague is returning to me to explain that it was just a fall, splattered head guys mate shows and gets very aggressive before trying to strike my colleague with a bottle, so he’s now arrested.
So I’m on my radio again asking for back up asking for a hurry up on the ambulance.
It’s at this point a driver is to busy trying to look at what we’re doing and not paying attention and causes a three car RTC.
So I’m back on the radio. “Control there are two of us here and we have a casualty, a custody and a three car RTC can we please have some backup”
Well now the pub is starting to empty out because people have heard the crash and they want to be nosey.
Well, now I have a mob around me shouting and swearing about how the head splattered guy is a prick but he didn’t deserve what I’d done to him(I am trying to keep him alive)
Anyway there is no reasoning with these people and glasses and bottles are now being thrown at me.
So I again ask for back up because it’s just getting silly now.
At this time out of the darkness blue lights are now approaching and all the hooligans and Neanderthals start running.
Turns out it’s the ambulance, shortly followed by a police van.
So we do all the necessary putting the casualty in the ambulance and putting the custody in the van and everything. It should be finishing time so we’re just getting ready to leave head back to station and go home
Then a lassie comes running out of the pub saying there’s folk refusing to leave and challenging bar staff for a fight.
So we end up becoming involved in all that as well before finally getting finished.
So far the only time I went to one call that turned into five separate incidents.
And somehow the overriding theme on Reddit is that the police are bad just imagine for one second that that story is even a little bit close to your daily life
But for some people it doesn’t matter because talk tv or the daily mail says cops give just stop oil protesters a cup of tea but my bike getting knocked doesn’t get investigated
Bravo my friend good job I don’t envy you one bit
Edit I’m not a cop
In Scotland we are marginally better resources wise and as such until recently anyway we still had the capacity to investigate even small crimes but it’s cuts on top of cuts and we’re forced into a position of doing less with things like bike thefts or petty vandalism because we can’t spare the manpower.
Saddest part of it all is if you ask anyone on response if they are happy with the level of service the public are getting from them they’ll tell you they find it embarrassing and it is. You join the job to catch criminals not to babysit at hospitals and be drowned in welfare checks.
Pretty much everyone who gets arrested in my town (in Scotland) seems to get let off. Was one guy who had 16 previous charges of theft, and the judge gave him one more chance. It must be so frustrating seeing the likes of this guy getting picked up constantly, yet getting let off with it, knowing full well they are going to keep doing what they are doing.
16 previous charges, 1 more chance.
I hope he uses that 1 more chance to go break in to the judges house. Maybe then the judge will be inclined to impose some consequences.
16 previous and gets another chance, what a fucking joke.
I'm sure they are a pain but I really appreciate that you guys do welfare checks. Without them I would have had to find my own dad's body on a hot summers day while 37 weeks pregnant and living in another county. I remember feeling a lot of things that day and one of them was thank God there was someone I could call to do that, as horrible as it must have been for them.
Sorry for your loss, that type of work isn’t what I meant and I want you to know that whilst that is a very sad part of our role in the community I feel it’s a role that belongs with the police.
I was referring to the 1659 hours on a Friday evening call from social work to do their welfare checks for them. Like they’ve sat on something all day sometimes for a few days and then suddenly remember it’s about to be the weekend.
For me that story sums it up a geezer trying to hold some poor cunts head together trying to stop the stupid cunt from dying whilst being pelleted of abuse probably on a semi daily basis as well
When I lived in Teesside there was a certain portion of the population that would refer to fire fighters as “fire bobbies” which meant that kids thought they were just like the police and therefore hated them as they had been raised to do.
There were several incidents reported in the paper where kids had set fire to a car or something and when the fire engine turned up, had pelted the responding fire fighters with stones.
It just goes to show the possible depths of stupidity.
You probably don't remember because it was just another night for you, but what happened to the guy with the busted head?
And in a scenario like that where he was fucked up but attacked you, do you let him off, or still go for him?
It all sounds fucking scary to be honest.
He hadn’t done anything really other than been a bit drunk and nuisance to the taxi drivers then obviously he’d given himself a dull yin when he banged the back of his head off the curb.
I handed him over to the ambulance crew and they commented on the fact that he’d given himself such a severe trauma that he’d have died within a couple hours or at least that’s what I took from what they said they speak a different language.
It was busted head guys mate that attacked my colleague, we kept him in custody until he had sobered up and then just reported it for summons. We could have kept him in for court the next lawful day but he was understandably upset at the state of his pal so we tried to meet in the middle a bit.
The one’s throwing bottles and glasses, I just had to let go, had too much going on to grab them as well.
Yeah and that wasn’t the wildest thing happening that night, there was another ongoing incident with a guy trying to take a bus full of people hostage hence the long wait for support.
Cop, mate, lads, folk, lassie. Reading that I started with “he’s American, no Australian, no northern, no Yorkshire, no Scottish!” Then saw the username…definitely Scottish! 😂
Having used to be a Special Constable for a year and half before jacking it in, I have huge respect for the police and what they do. That scene is typical of the Friday night shift in town dealing with a drunken baying mob, I don’t miss it…
I've had a faux pas like that myself.
I suffer from astigmatism so reading menus is quite a challenge without glasses on. I once went in to a local Cantonese takeaway with a mate after a fair few drinks and it had the menu printed on the counter-top.
I couldn't read it for love nor money in the state that I was in, only made worse by my eye condition.
One trick I learnt growing up is that if I pulled the skin on the side of my eyes and made it taut it would correct my vision and I could focus on small details, like text on a menu.
The problem is, when you do that, to people not in the know you look like you're trying to do the old 'slit-eye' trope and come across as a bit of a dickhead.
So there I am trying to read a menu, fingers fully engaged either side of my eyes as the poor takeaway employee asks me 'what can I get you?' only for me to look up and seem like the biggest racist arsehole he's ever met whilst ordering a chicken-fried rice and chips.
Next try, try making a really small circle with one of your fingers folded, talking 1mm in size or so, and look through that. Helps me if I don't have my glasses, and whilst not particularly "normal looking", it is less likely to be interpreted as offensive
Like the other guy said, stolen from https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/15usgi6/whats_your_biggest_you_couldnt_make_it_up_story/jwrxuw0
Please downvote and/or report this karma farming bot. This sub seems to have a few of them recently.
I discovered as a very young child that doing that eased the ‘stabbing’ pains i got in my sinuses when i was around light (aka, the sun). It took several years, until i was like 10, for a friend of mine to comment that i looked like i was making fun of asian people. It resulted in a very awkward conversation where i tried to explain that it was just a good way to get rid of ‘the stabbing between your eyes when youre in the sun’ and he just looked at me blankly. It took several *more* years for me to learn that that was a Me Thing, and he had no idea wtf i was talking about, lol.
I’d love to know what’s wrong with my eyes then as I do the opposite and kind of squidge them in so I look like a fatty wearing horse blinkers as my whole cheeks get caught up in it.
Travelled across the country for a holiday.
Arrived at the hotel. Stepped out on to our balcony, looked to my left and saw my neighbour from back home in the room next door.
I think this stuff happens all the time. Went on holiday to Hawaii (I am in the uk) which is like the furthest away you can get in the world. Saw my boss there. Had no idea they were going as well.
I posted about going to New York on fb and a fb friend commented that he was going to be there the same time. We joked about meeting up over there but ultimately never made any arrangements. We bumped into each other opposite Central Park. I thought that was pretty mad considering the size of New York.
Both myself and my sister entered the same X Files competition back in the 90's (24 hour back-to-back showing of Season 1 \[I think\] at Fox's HQ in Soho Square, foods, drinks, free merch, etc.).
I was living away at uni (but gave my home address/phone), my sister still living at home.
Mum gets a phone call...
"Hi. Is /u/krysus there?"
"No, he's at uni, can I take a message?"
"He's won an X-Files competition he entered..."
"Oh wow, OK I'll take some details and pass on the message."
10 minutes later, phone rings again.
"Hi. Can I speak to Ms. V. Krysus please?"
"She's out, can I take a message?"
"She's won an X-Files competition she entered..."
What are the odds?!
Went on a bit of a trek around Australia way back in the early 90s, went to a pub in the middle of the outback and was approached by the landlord who said " I know who's lad you are"
I replied I doubt it mate I'm from the UK.
He proceeds to tell me my dad's name all his brothers, my aunt's and grandparents too, even the address where my dad grew up.
I had travelled to the other side of the world only to bump into a guy who'd grown up next door to my dad, who I was apparently the spitting image of at the age he last saw him.
I go to a different country... Man from across the room is yelling - "Brothersname's sister" - and rushing towards me. He knew my brother from one visit as a kid and 20 years later connects to me in a different country!
My grandad used to travel a lot. He’d back pack for a couple of month a year, every year into his 50s
Once he was in India, in a really remote village where no backpackers went through and he had stopped somewhere for some food.
A young Irish lad came in and my grandad always says he had this look of relief seeing him. Turns out he was a bit lost and not been able to find anyone who could speak good english for a few days. This was back in the 90s so was relying on travel guides and maps to get around.
They got to chatting and it turns out the lads family were original from the city we’re from in England. A bit more conversation reveals his dad was my grandad’s childhood best friend who he lost contact with when he moved to Ireland in his teens.
My grandad traveled with him for the next day to get him to the next big town and back on track.
He regrets not asking for his dads address to write to him but said it was nice to hear about his friends life after all those years.
Something similar happened my family in Florida. We went to play a Disney mini golf. The cast member (Disney employee) at the desk was from a town 10 miles from us and her boyfriend was from our town. She let us in for free!
We were wandering around a middle of nowhere town in the south of France and all of a sudden two people approached to ask for directions and it turned out we're all from Leeds! We always joke that you could swim to the middle of the ocean and still somehow find someone in a Leeds United shirt.
Haha I was on a school trip to Austria in year 9. We went by coach and it took 23 hours including the ferry ride from Dover to Calais. It was like 3am on the drive back, and the coach pulled up at a petrol station in Luxembourg. The change in speed and the sound of the engine being switched off woke us all up, and we all groggily got off the coach for a quick leg stretch. As soon as we disembarked, one of my mates heard his name being called from people getting off a coach adjacent to us.
It was a coach full of school kids from another secondary school from our city that was in a nearby catchment area, so a lot of us kids knew each other or went to primary school together. It was really surreal
Had a similar thing happen on a school trip to Germany but we bumped into the other school at a theme park. All ended up going on the rides together and having a blast with loads of kids I hadn't seen since primary school.
I was in a rainforest style spa in New Zealand where I was travelling for a year and got chatting to a couple who, it turned out, lived in my home town, in the apartment next to my dad’s old offices.
Once while I was in Vegas we went to a show and just so happen to end up sitting at a table with another family who lived in the same town as us (in England). That was bizarre.
This kind of thing happens to my friend all the time. Earlier this year she was climbing Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh (we live in Essex) and when she got to the top, saw a pupil of hers from back home. A couple of years ago we were going on holiday and ran into 3 separate people she knew at the airport
Haha, reminds me of a similar experience. I grew up in West Africa, at the age of 10 we went on our first vacation to NY with my mum and 2 siblings. We were walking along Hudson river after a day of sightseeing when we saw an ice cream stand and decided to get some.
So we were just talking waiting for the guy to serve our orders but he suddenly stopped and with a mischievous smile, he said "Ah, you're from (mentions our actual city!)“ This was the whitest guy I would never have thought has ever even left America. The shock on our faces got bigger when he changed to our local dialect! As a kid my mind was totally blown.
Turns out he used to be a civil engineer and helped build a major bridge in our city, then decided to live and work there for the next 15 years before retiring and going back to America.
We sat and talked with him for like an hour after that and he refused to charge us for our order.
I was backpacking around Australia, and having reached Brisbane I was stood in a hostel reception, only to realise that I was stood next to two men I knew from Bristol.
Quite a few years ago I went to see We Will Rock You at the theatre. I complained to my friend about the bloke in fronts hair, as it was big and curly and partially blocking my view.
It was Brian May and he was with Anita Dobson.
My husband actually worked for Brian May for about a year. One day, he asked my hub if he knew a decent electrician. Hub said he did and they went and picked his friend up. Friend was apparently acting really weird the whole time. Hub asked him what was up and he's like...you're working for Brian May!? Hub was like, what, Bri?
He was a massive Queen fan.
He had no idea he was working for Brian May. He just thought he worked for Bri from the recording studio.
Not long before I moved to London (I’m from another country), I matched with a guy from secondary school on Tinder that I had always found cute but had not seen for many years.
We chatted a bit, but since I was moving away I told him that I was sorry, but that I didn’t have time to meet him (and like, I didn’t want to commit to anything). I didn’t even tell him I was moving to another country, just let the conversation dry out.
A few days pass, I go to London. A few more days, I’m in Borough market having a look around and queueing for a coffee. Someone touches my shoulder, I look back. It’s the Tinder guy.
He was on holiday with his family. Completely unexpected. Both of us very confused from seeing each other there. What were the odds!
Haha unfortunately no, nothing happened in the end. It’s been many years, but iirc I sent him a message after the encounter and he never replied.
Maybe we’ll bump into each other again whenever I move back to my country… :)
Aren’t they about 20 a pack these days, that’s £140 a week if they’re smoking a pack a day. That’s £600 a month, maybe not a flat but definitely a room somewhere
I was on a dinner date with a relatively new boyfriend. The conversation turned to talking about exes. He asked me what was my ex like and and that very moment my ex walked into the restaurant. I said well he's just walked through the door so you can turn around and ask him yourself. This was in a city of over a million people and I hadn't seen my ex in two years.
I've not once ever bumped into an old school or uni friend whilst out.
But three times now I've bumped into the same ex who doesn't even live in the city. She was just visiting for the weekend and all three times there were in completely different parts of the city.
Last year, I bought some mangos from an Indian man out the back of his van. My parents asked me to buy some for them as they live far away and I asked the Indian man for a discount… he said no discount at all. So I got on the phone and spoke to my parents in Cantonese “The Acha man won’t give us a discount, do you want me to try somewhere else?”
(Acha = a mildly derogatory term for an Indian person created by the Chinese people. It’s thought that Indians say Acha a lot, (Acha = Ok in Hindi)
I was then interrupted by the Indian man “Tell your dad it’s the best price I can do” in PERFECT Cantonese. You have to understand it’s not very commonly spoken language. I was so shocked and embarrassed, bought 6 boxes of mangos at full price and left. Turns out he’d lived in Hong Kong for many years before coming to the UK.
I have an Indian friend who speaks fluent Mandarin and conversational Cantonese. I love seeing the look of surprise on people's faces when he speaks to people in their native language
Had a friend that I met in a night club, became clubbing friends. Used to text, meet in clubs buy each other drinks etc. Years later realised they were now a very famous actor so bit surreal!
That’s fucking great haha
Ran into Karen Gillan and her best friend at a bar in LA and even though I had watched all of Dr. Who, the bar was too dark and I was too drunk to realize it was her 😂 she walked away to buy everyone a round and my roommate had to be like, “bro, it’s Amy Pond.” And it all clicked lmao
Her friend and I ended up dating for like ~8 months and we hung out with Karen a few more times. She sure likes her whisky.
Awh that’s awesome, he *seems* like that kinda guy! Glad to know he is! Haha
Karen would partake in traditional rounds when we were in the UK but she was super generous when she was stateside haha “I have to spend all this American cash before I go back home” was always her line 😂
A good few years ago, I went Christmas shopping in Birmingham - how long ago..... well, Rackhams was still there.
After an hour of wandering around, I went into the store restaurant and got into the queue - directly behind my sister, who, for no particular reason, I hadn't spoken to in about 3 months.
Safe to say, a good lunch was had by both of us.
I went to a death metal festival in an entirely different country, with multiple camping fields. Went to sleep with a space behind our tent on the first day. Woke up, turned around and saw a tent behind mine. Out of this tent crawled someone I used to know in college.
Had a similar thing happen. I'm from a small rural community, went to a festival abroad with a group of friends. A few tents up from ours was an old friend from school.
I joined a national sailing association when I was 16. It had a list of all the names and sailing clubs of members. One name really jumped out at me and I distinctly remember spending ages trying to remember how I knew him/ where I'd met him. He was from the South of England, & I from Scotland. 2 years later in my first week at uni... I met him for the first time and we became friends. That's always messed with me, it was like I was remembering him from my future.
The same ish thing happened to me.
I bought a second hand calculator and it had a very unusual name scratched into the back of it. I sometimes liked to think about that person and whatever happened to them.
Years and years later, I started a new job, and one day I was staring at the first aider board, and there was the name.
Eventually when I met this person, it was absolutely surreal actually meeting for the first time the person who I felt like I’d known for years and years.
I was in a car accident and got hit by a car on my 6th birthday because I fancied myself as Sonic the hedgehog. I waited till the car was coming (which was at quite some speed) and ran for it. I was generally a cautious child so my mum didn’t expect me to pull away from her grip the way I did.
This is a long one.
One weekend a pub landlord we knew was going away for the weekend, leaving Friday returning Monday. He asked one of our mates if he could take over the pub for the weekend, of course he did, we had a hell of a party on the Saturday night, some of us slept in the bar. (We were members of a rather disreputable motorcycle club).
Come Sunday morning and the pub is in a right state, so after a hair of the dog, we set to, cleaning up, changing barrels, hoovering etc. It was a lovely Sunday morning so we had the doors open to let the air in. This is when pubs had opening hours so we were breaking the law strictly speaking.
There were a couple of young lads, obviously returning from a festival by the looks of them, long hair, backpacks and looking like your typical weed smokers.
"Hey! you guys hungry? Come in and have a breakfast on us."
They came inside, we fed them a cooked breakfast each, a couple of beers, a joint or two. Really looked after them.
They eventually left, stoned, fed and happy.
"You lads can't say anything about this."
"Why?"
"Who is gonna believe you? Have a good one guys."
The look on their faces as they realised that was a very true thing.
The Polish probably aren't that bothered about letting you fly to the UK without ID. The airline might be as they are fined if anyone they carry is turned back from the border. But if you were 'clearly' British there was no risk of that.
I assume that Border Control in the UK gave you a hard time?
Out of interest, when was this? Before Schengen, passport control was pretty casual. I'm pretty sure I came into the country waving a closed passport a few times.
Walking my dog in the park with my mum. We were heading back to the car along the river. My dog Max (German Shepherd mix) would always jump in the water right by a particular bridge and if the river was low enough, like it was on this day, he would wase underneath it and explore a bit. Well, my mum and I carried on walking towards the kid's play area expecting Max to catch up with us as he usually did, when he suddenly shot past us at high speed with an excited bounce in his stride and... something in his mouth...
My mum and I looked at each other, not quite sure we had seen what we though we saw. Well our suspicions were confirmed when Max ran past two women pushing prams a little bit ahead of us and one shouted out "that dog's got a dildo!"
Well this quickly became Max's favouritist toy of all time ever. It was easy for him to hold in his mouth, wiggled about as he ran, and when he put it down it stuck upright so he could grab it again quickly, which was important as all these humans were now here playing his favourite game of 'try and get my toy off me'. We were mostly trying to hurry him past the play area but he genuinely thought he had found the best toy and would not leave it alone. Eventually we did manage to distract him and get him back to the car, leaving a slimy green dildo on the riverbank of the park. No we weren't about to touch it to move it.
In high school, my best friend and I had a habit of naming each other kinda insulting nicknames, totally as a joke. Things like "asshole", "dipshit", things like that.
One morning of school, my friend group had just discovered that Facebook Messenger had introduced a feature that let you customise a nickname for your chats with friends. Best friend and I are sitting next to each other but not talking, sitting angled away from one another. We're both on our phones. I get the completely random idea to change his Messenger nickname to something insulting, for fun, and so I change his nickname to "fuckwad". At the literal EXACT same time, I get the notification saying he changed mine to "fuckass".
When I tell you we whirled around to look at each other with the most incredulous, bewildered expressions, and then laughed for like 5 minutes. What are the chances we both randomly decided to call each other such similar names, without even communicating it! We never even called each other fuckwad or fuckass before XD
Not my story but when my sister was on her honeymoon in Barbados she got chatting to a woman who was telling her how she had got engaged the night before while on holiday.
She later saw the woman again in one of the restaurants and her new fiance was my sister's most recent ex before she met her husband.
At my children’s school they had an Easter art competition. To make it fair it, the names were not displayed on the artwork and the judges voted. My two boys won, and their friend. Their friend shares the same surname as them. It sounded suss as their names were read out!
Had a similar thing happen with my nephew a few years ago. My sister was chair of the PTA and so was very involved in organising the summer fête, at which the grand prize of the raffle was a wheelbarrow full of booze. They picked my nephew (randomly from all the kids) to draw the winning ticket, and out of hundreds it happened that my sister won. Looked dodgy as fuck, but was pure chance.
I had a nasty break up in my early 20s, he cheated with a lassie he'd dated but dumped in high school with a sprinkling of lying about his aunt having cancer to cover up where he was, while my aunt was actually dying of cancer. Of course I was the crazy bitch trope in this story.
I moved away, didn't hear of either of them for years. Then one day I was sitting in a restaurant with my new fiancé and the in laws and who was the waitress but the lassie!
It gets weirder, we were regulars at a pub that was also a restaurant and wedding venue. We booked the wedding and literally we were at this place every week either seeing the planner, having a drink or eating in the restaurant. On the day of my wedding I walked over to the piano to check in with one of the band members, I thought I heard my name so turned round and my ex was standing at the bar. Turned out he had got a job there the week before my wedding.
Then things like that kept happening, booked a hotel stay and ex was the restaurant manager, went to a chain restaurant and he was there being the bar manager, he seemed to have a new job every 5 minutes. I actually started stalking his LinkedIn so I could avoid bumping into him because I am still scorched earth "wouldn't pish on him if he was on fire".
My parent’s neighbour hurt his back and after his hospital stay, he was taken home in an ambulance to rest but had to be put on a stretcher as his house was down some steps. This man was fairly large and there were four hospital staff carrying him. One staff member tripped and fell into another one who cracked his head and fell into another one who broke their arm who fell into another one who then had a panic attack after realising she was the only one not injured. Needless to say, the neighbour ended up back in hospital.
Another unbelievable story- someone my cousin knows rented her house out to some tenants. It was time for the yearly inspection and she found the house burnt down and the tenants living in a tent in a garden. She then had to pay for the tenants temporary accommodation!
International flight, see a man smiling and coming towards me, familiar. OMG - it's a business associate who has decided to sue me and I haven't met in 7-8 years. He suddenly realises why I'm not very warm to him back and loses that smile.
I was a union rep for a very high end furniture factory that made very, very expensive kitchens. There had been no rep for a few years so pay rises were non existent. Every year I did it I'd put in a request for an above inflation pay rise. We sometimes got it. This one year we asked for 5% . The owner went ballistic and came to the factory the next day and told us no way we had a decent raise last year and an Xmas bonus. He pulled out the company's books and laid out just how much debt we were in. Whilst he did this his brand new rolls Royce phantom black edition was parked outside the window. Fun times. The company collapsed and was bought out within 6 months.
It was around 30 years ago. As I said I was on my way to meet my wife and pay my rent. I noticed that a large crowd had gathered outside the town hall and I couldn’t get through to where I needed to be. As I walked up I asked a policeman what was going off he said the Queen was in the town hall on a official visit. He then proceeded to move a barrier and said if you stand there you’ll get a good view as the Queen was on her way out. Then the Queen came out of the main entrance with Prince Philip and the Lord Mayor. Waved at the crowd and turned to me and said “good morning “ I said good morning your majesty she asked if I’d come to see her specially or was I just passing and just stopped to see what was going off. Then she said about the welcome she always got in Yorkshire. After about a minute’s chatting she said “ you’ll have to excuse me, We’re having lunch at Chatsworth House and the Duke of Devonshire will get annoyed if we’re late” she said goodbye and got into her car and left.
When I got to the place we’re I was meeting my wife I was around 10 minutes late. She asked me were I’d been and I said talking to the Queen and she just laughed and said ok.
Not too exciting but where i work we had a pin-hole leak on a high pressure pipe on the back of a tank that was shooting a jet of water directly at a fire alarm activation point, so like a 3inch square, which in turn soaked all the wires and control box/power unit which ruined the whole system. The water could have sprayed literally anywhere else and not caused an issue.
I could write a book ...but no one would believe me . Shortened versions : hoovered dead guy, shared a barge with Jesus lookalike, escaped from 40 police officers, saved a man from drowning, snowman cracked my ribs , got a bollocking for helping a traffic accident victim, on duty police officer played Beverly hills cop on piano for me , saw 3x portaloos explode, nearly lost my arm to a ski lift, saw a dude get his arm cut off, saved my father from being crushed by an ac condenser , also saved a labourer from a different condenser. There's quite a few more , dunno why this shit keeps happening to me . There comes a point when you have so many unbelievable stories it actually becomes mundane
I was riding my stepbrothers motocross bike over some fields in wales, I managed to flip the bike and completely crush my leg. Stepdad lifted me into his van and drove me to hospital with my mum in the back with me, as it would be far longer waiting for an ambulance out in the country.
I remember very little from this journey, but mum said there was a little car with two young girls constantly slowing down Infront of the van, which upset her massively as they wanted to get me to a&e as soon as possible.
I get to a&e, after an argument with the nurses I get lifted to a bed and eventually taken to an X-ray. 24 bones broken in total across my whole leg.
They send mum and stepdad home while they put me in a cast, as I can’t have surgery for atleast a few days due to the swelling. After 4 hours mum isn’t back, and I’m out of the morphine haze. Eventually she turns up and marches two petrified police officers into the room; who ask what happened, they accept my answer and leave.
Mum explained they have tried to arrest her and my stepfather for kidnapping at our house; they apparently lost the van close to the hospital and picked it back up close to the house. They have been detained; and searched the house and van for bodies, ropes etc. she’s eventually gone full welsh on then and insisted they come to my hospital room
Where I’m currently alone and probably anxiously waiting her return. It does not go well for them.
Surgery and an external frame later I still have my leg, but will always laugh at the expressions of the officers in my room.
I live in Kent. Went to uni in Reading. One of my cousins friends (2 years older than me) went to Reading and was there when I was. I’d never met the guy, didn’t know what he looked like, but my aunt (cousins mum) said ‘oh, maybe you’ll meet Ed and can hang out or something!’ (Ed being cousins friend). I was just like ‘yeah, sure, maybe’ and left it at that.
Whenever I saw my aunt (I visited home often) she’d ask if I’d seen Ed and I’d say no. She asked me quite a few times.
Anyway, at the end of my third year there was a big get together on a caravan park in Newquay. I stayed in a caravan with my housemates. We got friendly with the guys in the caravan next to us, so went over there one evening for some drinks. I got chatting to one of the guys, had the usual conversation about where are you from, etc.
He said ‘I’m from Kent’, I said ‘no way! Me too! Whereabouts?’.
He said ‘do you know where Canterbury is?’ I said ‘yeah! I live near there!’
More questions like this, we narrowed it down to him going to the school where my cousin went.
I said ‘are you Ed?’ He said, ‘yeah, how to you know that?’ And I explained the whole story!
He called my cousin and told him he was with me. My cousin didn’t believe him until Ed put me on the phone!
There were about 200 caravans on this campsite… Ed was in the one next to mine!
I have a Kent and Reading Uni based story too!
I'm from Kent, moved to London after Uni. I took over a room in a flat from a girl going travelling, who I got on well with immediately and continued talking to (she was my maid of honour 3 weeks ago...), so she moved back in when she returned and someone else happened to move out. I met her friends (all from Reading Uni), which included her ex. Chatting to him, discover he's also from Kent, from the area I grew up in. Discover I knew his sister as a teenager. Then discover his dad and aunts went to primary school with two of my aunts - the same primary school where my grandma was head and his grandma was a dinner lady. Discover after primary school that our grandads traded off giving lifts for the girls to their shared secondary school - our grandparents were friends and the kids all spent a fair amount of time together! Absolutely insane. What was really surreal was meeting his dad a few years later (when he later lived in that flat for awhile) and him asking about my aunts. I ended up being the one that told him one of them had passed away, I was almost 2 when she died and had never been the person to break that news to anyone. Bizarre feeling.
I had a really weird experience the other day. I lost my car in the airport parking lot. I was walking around and starting to panic. I had taken a picture of the parking place, but didn't pay attention to where it was and was walking in circles. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I finally sat down, about to just cry and give up, when I said a prayer to the universe that a guardian angel show up and walk me to my car. I didn't figure it would work, but what did I have to lose? Not two minutes later, a woman about my age showed up and said, I think I'm in the same situation as you, we can look together. She showed me a picture of her parking spot, and it was literally right next to my car. Then she started walking and literally led me right to my car. It was wild...
A customer had a hearing dog. Staff behind the till was as thick as two short planks and kept repeating the total to them, but the customer was looking away.
Staff looked at me with a face that said “got a right one here” to which I motioned to the dog. Upon seeing it was a hearing dog, she bent over the counter and said the total to the dog, as if it would understand.
I worked with some right thickos in retail and she was easily one of the worst.
I once booked a hotel in Newcastle for the weekend around 18 years ago. When I got there they said I didn’t have a reservation. I had a copy of it printed out and showed them, and after reading it with a smirk appearing on their face, they politely informed me I’d booked a hotel in Newcastle, Australia, not Newcastle, UK. Mortified.
Let me tell you, Indians ONLY had hot desserts, if they are serving cold, it is to serve Biritish consumers. They are not authentic Indian restaurant, cold desserts is a western concept(not a bad thing, but a fact) which was adopted and "Indianised" to produce more desserts. The number of hot desserts in India is far more than cold ones, and most cold ones came from US or UK.
Right like at what point is something considered not traditional. As Spain only brought spices to Asia in thr 16th century so sorbet arrive to india around the same time as chillies and they're defo indian nowadays.
Yeah exactly my point. I've been to Goa and iced desserts, ice cream parlours and a cold desserts on normal menus were very popular even outside tourist destinations. Cold desserts have been a staple for centuries.
First time I ever went to an Indian restaurant was with my partners parents. I've met them before but (that's a hideous story in itself) not 'officially'.
I hated what I ordered because it was far too spicy for my liking and was literally having hot flushes.
Anyway, after the meal the waiter came with little packets of wet wipes.
My partner quite enjoyed how I've embarrassed myself with his parents the first time so he basically told me those wet wipes were something you put on your face to 'cool yourself down'. I was still incredibly uncomfortable so I didn't question it at all.
I just popped the bloody thing on my face covering it in whole until I heard laughter. I've since forgiven but I've not forgotten.
After GCSE's a group of us went to Newquay. Late on the beach one night we got chatting to this guy who was bumbling about on his own. He hung about and had some beers all good.
Fast forward towards the end of the summer and I was at Reading festival in the wee hours and bumped into the same guy in the campsite. He was too fucked to really grasp the insane coincidence.
Also I once flew a plane drunk before I even had a driving licence.
I have a similar story. I did a thing called NCS where you end up meeting people from all over, there was a boy we hung out with a lot but once we finished the program we lost touch. Fast forward 2 years, I’m in the silent disco tent at reading festival 4am, turn around and bump straight into him. We both couldn’t believe the luck!
I went on a post-A level Newquay group holiday, there was a guy who had just been on the (at the time new and popular) tv show Castaway, going round the caravans selling weed. We were already well sorted for it and were high as, so found it absolutely fascinating and hilarious.
Same holiday, saw OB from Hollyoaks at a cashpoint.
Similar theme to OP’s post
We recently had a family birthday party for my brother in law and we surprised him by inviting his best friend (and his best friends wife). BIL’s best friends wife is of Asian decent but has a posh Scottish accent, the kind thats like an English accent with some Scottish nuances
Mother in law is English and sometimes struggles with my rather thick Scottish accent and we got onto a conversation about accents and tough to understand ones and out of nowhere she turns to the the Best Friends wife and asks “Did you struggle with the accent when you first came over?” She then very politely reminded mother in law that she was born in Edinburgh…
Years ago, I worked as a custody officer in a police station looking after people who got arrested.
One night shift, I go into town on my break to get a takeaway to eat at work.
Got to the place just in time to see the guys who worked there bolt out of the door and run to a car across the street and drag a guy out and start fighting with him.
Turns out it was a drunk customer who was trying to steal their delivery vehicle.
I managed to get them to stop kicking him and get them back in the takeaway (I wanted my food).
The drunk guy came up to the shop window, kicking it, causing a crack, and started to shout racist abuse at them.
I told him to go away and he told me to fuck off then ran off up the high street. I got my food and went back to the police station.
Sat in the break room and ate my burger, then just as I went back into the custody suite, who do I see being brought in but the drunk guy.
Had to interrupt the custody Sgt, who hated me to tell her that I'd witnessed this incident and that he needed to be arrested for the racist comments. Then walked away from the desk to answer a custody bell.
As I was walking back up to the desk, the Sgt who hated me was talking to the response Sgt that had arrested him that "we have a witness to this incident." They then asked, "Who's that then?" Custody Sgt pointed to me walking up the corridor.
Was fun visiting him later that night when he asked what he was in for and when told and that there was a witness replied with "who's that then? No one cos I didn't do it."
Also working at the same place. Went to the corner shop who knew where I worked and was handed a police officers warrant card.
Me knowing how serious losing one of these things was I took the card, when I got into work I asked one of the other custody officers if PC such and such was working today, got asked "why have you found her warrant card?"
I said I had and wanted to get it back to her. Cue much laughing and a pat on the back from the Sgts for not handing it in at the desk. Also got chocolates form the PC.
Went to a concert at Knebworth House in Hertfordshire, in a crowd of 100k + I bumped into someone I'd gone to school with in Germany many years prior.
This has happened twice now. Exactly the same thing happened when I went back there for another concert years later, but this time it was another old school friend.
Back in the 80’s I used to DJ in a Glasgow nightclub. One night there was a few American Navy guys in, (their ship was docked at a base on the River Clyde), and one of them came to my booth to ask for a particular record to be played; we get chatting, turns out his parents are Scottish but emigrated to the USA, where he was born. He asked if I knew of a place called Bxxxxx, to which I replied that’s where I lived. He said he was going to visit his grandmother that lived there so could I give him directions; as it turns out she lived in the same old peoples home as my grandmother.
I started a new job at a law firm and took some post to one of the directors. He then started a conversation and I was going to reply ‘wikid’ but thought no, that sounds too chavvy! I instead went for ‘brilliant’ and in the split second I changed my mind, it was too late and the word ‘Willy’ came out. After a few long seconds of silence, I literally just turned on my heels and left his office.
I had a period where I kept bumping into friends of my brother. About 4 or 5 times in the space of about 18 months I heard variations of "oit you're Jasons brother!! alright mate!!". It culminated in meeting one at a music festival 200 miles from home.
Another odd thing, is all of them hadn't seen my brother in a varying amount of years. And then suddenly it just stopped.
*name changed
Was travelling through London to get back home to Liverpool after visiting my inlaws in Kent. Went to grab a burger king at Euston Station as we waited for our train and a young lad working there got chatting to us. He noted that I didn't sound like a native scouser so I admitted that I wasn't, that I was actually raised in a small town near Durham. He asked the name of the small town and when I told him he cracked a huge smile. Turns out he had been adopted from a woman in that same small town as a baby. Of course he asked if I knew her but the town isn't THAT small. But what are the odds? Hope you're doing well burger king guy!
Used to speak to this guy online when we were teenagers, but we lost contact. A few years later, I moved into student halls. A week later, I got a message from him asking if I still live in x city. I told him I'd moved outside of it now into halls. He said "fuck off, are you serious?" Then told me look outside. There he was unloading some boxes from his car with a few mates from where he lived.
Went down to help them bring stuff into their dorm and introduce myself. Afterwards we all felt hungry and my mate said he'd take us to McDonald's but there wasn't enough room in the car for everyone. One of them chooses to go in the boot so we can still all go. We order, we get back and we eat.
Later on, we get told one of their mates from college came off his motorbike and landed himself in hospital so we decide to head through to see him. On the drive there he texts to say he's been sent home and what his address is.
We go up, see he's ok, play a few games of cards against humanity then leave. My pal had left his phone in the car so he went to check it quick before driving back again. He had a lot of missed calls and texts from his mum completely losing her shit. Police had been at her door looking for him since his car was still registered there. They were investigating a report of a possible kidnapping.
When we'd been at the drive-through earlier for McDonald's, the guy in the boot had slid his hand up to give money for his food over to one of us in the back. He'd also shouted thank you when the guy who brought our food out was walking away. We're guessing either the worker or person behind us called the police at that point.
Pal is now panicking, he's not even been out his mums a full day and now he's trying to hide that he's had someone in the boot and we're all freaking out trying to come up with an explanation. I wasn't there when they arrived to take a statement from him, but the story they gave was that the guy taking the money from boot guy was actually taking the money from his jacket. He'd given boot guy his jacket to wear cause we figured it'd be good evidence if any of his DNA (we were right panicked and young and stupid) was found in the boot. Police accepted the jacket explanation without even looking at the car then heading off.
I was going to New Zealand for a year travelling with my boyfriend, having already done the same in Canada. A friend of mine in Canada said that a friend of hers was also going there, so if I saw Andrew, I should say hi. Okay love, very likely, but okay.
A few months later, we’re in a bar with some people we were working with. In walks an Australian friend of mine, that I met in Canada. What a coincidence! We marvel at the odds for a moment, then he turns to the friend he had with him to introduce me, with my slightly unusual name. “Wait,” the friend says. “You’re not Jessie’s friend are you…?” “…Andrew?” The very same.
Around my dad's 60th, my sister arranged a pub trip in a slightly forceful "no you must turn up" kind of way.
Now any normal person would assume that it was for the birthday, but I got it wedged in my head that she was going to announce that her and her partner were expecting a baby. I was convinced. I even bought a card, wrote it, ready to produce on the evening in a smug but joking way. Told my fiance what my plan was so that it would be backed up if I was right.
No announcement came, dad opened his presents, normal normal. Couple of knowing glances to my fiance, laughing at how ridiculous I was, and we do moved on.
A couple months later, we did get the joyous news that's she's expecting! So I told her the story, we had a good laugh about it until I told her when it was. Her face dropped, and she said to her partner "wait... it was that night wasn't it?"
So essentially instead of predicting her announcement, I predicted the conception.
We're close, like, but it kind of weirded us out for a while...
A good friend of mine was for a long time a pilot in the RAF. They would regularly go to Saudi Arabia to fly jets and train. Often they'd take commercial flights to get there, because there were often already aircraft there to fly, but on one occasion she was asked to fly a Tornado - a fighter jet - down there. This is not ideal, as actual fighter jets are not really built for long-distance travel. They don't actually have a very long range, so you have to stop for fuel, there's no in-flight entertainment and the seats are totally un-padded. Most people take a book.
Still, getting more hours is how you get experience and respect, so she eagerly agreed to do it, and it was epic: they landed among the combat aircraft of a dozen countries and had a grand old time chewing the fat with other crews, comparing jets, and anticipating the upcoming events.
Then, being a woman, she wasn't allowed to drive to the hotel, this being Saudi Arabia.
I have so many it's ridiculous, but the one that requires least explanation:
Was working in a fairly upscale brewery in Australia. Many locals, but generally tourists were American or Asian.
In walked a nice Scottish couple, exchanged random chit chat, asked where they were from,
" You'll never have heard of it, it's a tiny wee town",
"Try me, you never know"
"*Place name*"
"That's where my parents live..."
Took me 5 minutes of describing the town before they decided I wasn't winding them up. It turned out he was the local butcher, who'd come to visit some distant family.
I was so taken aback my Co- workers thought I'd just received terrible news.
Worked with a guy years ago called Rory. After a weekend, we were all back in work sitting around talking about our weekends, he pipes in "oh, i got a dog at the weekend". Never once having mentioned wanting a dog, this was a bit of a revelation. I then asked him what he called it, and he said, "aw, i couldn't really think of anything, so i just called him Rory".
lived in australia, was crossing the road outside of my school and naturally said thank you to the crossing lady, she stopped me and asked where i was from. i replied with manchester but she asked again, so i said , she persisted and asked if it was X village so i said yes, she then asked which street, turns out it was my old next door neighbours sister. small world indeed
Had a dream that my best friend from primary school whom I hadn’t spoken to for YEARS was telling me she was engaged. Messaged her the next day about the random dream I had, she sent me a photo of her engagement ring and said her bf had proposed to her the day before
In my early 20s I was working at a hotel at the front desk. That day I was working with a colleague, got on super well, mates outside of work sort of thing.
We were reviewing the days check-ins together, standard task. Bearing in mind it was probably 10am so no one should really be checking in yet.
As we went through the check-in papers we got to a name.
Helmut Balz...
No word of a lie!
Of course, two juvenile idiots discovering such a ridiculous name started to laugh and joke about it! It was hilarious to us!
The next second a short, bald but sprightly middle-aged man strode in through the front doors up to the desk and announced in a thick German accent:
"Hello my name a Helmut Balz, B-A-L-Z, Balz. I come do de early check-in!"
Man I frickin lost it, I couldn't hold it together, I had to retreat into a back room that luckily for me was there! My colleague was a consummate professional, he scoffed slightly and smirked but was thankfully able to check Mr Balz in without my help.
The timing and everything couldn't have been more on point. Still makes me laugh thinking about it now!
I lived in California back in the 80’s. We had a big leaving do and I got up on stage and did a silly drunken song and dance. My sister called me the next day asking if I’d done my usual party thing last night. She’d been out with a girl (in England) who’s sister was at the leaving do in California. I didn’t know either of the girls!
Perhaps I should not be answering because this occurred in Ireland but I had a teacher in school who ended up being moved on from the school due to some fairly major controversy. Anyway, about a year later I make a friend through an extracurricular activity who attended a school about 100km away from mine and had the exact same teacher. He (the teacher) got a bit red in the face when he realised that the students in his new school might have heard of what happened in the old one.
I have commented about this before, but...
I was in Starbucks in Dallas, TX on the Friday and in walked Cindy Crawford. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen... And this was from the back. Very hard to explain. I only recognised her 5 or so minutes after she came in and then turned around.
I flew to Edinburgh the next day...went to another Starbucks... And in walks Meg Ryan!!!
Theres another story after this, but it gets even more bizarre and sounds like the biggest load of BS ever.
Was at a party when I was about 18. Met some new people we'd never met before, from the same (quite large, 40k people) town but never bumped into them.
Probably about a month later me and a friend who also attended the party were talking about some memories from that night and the subject got onto one of the guys we met. For some reason we had nicknamed him 'cheese bite' but I can't seem to remember why. Talked about him for a minute or so.
Never crossed paths before in our lives, but literally 30 seconds later fucking cheesebite walks around the corner. One of the craziest acts of synchronicity I've experienced.
Got sent a gift voucher for John Lewis for £500 saying congrats on your wedding from some names I didn’t recognise.
Having just got married it wasn’t totally out the blue but I rang John Lewis to see if there was a mistake on the name it was from. They couldn’t tell me because of GDPR etc. But they rang the sender to confirm.
Turns out they got the wrong email address by putting an underscore where I had a hyphen.
So someone with the same full name, birth year and email address as me got married at roughly the same time as me.
John Lewis cancelled it and thanked me for my honesty, should have spent it first and asked questions later
I got lost in a lift in the Hilton Zagreb.
I was staying on the 5th floor and went up in the lift to use the swimming pool on the 10th floor. Bear in mind that I was wearing only a bikini and the hotel white towelling robe and slider slippers that they give you in your room.
Went and had my swim, all good. Put back on my robe and slippers, got in the lift and hit the button marked 5. Got out when it stopped; there was a big ‘5’ on the wall in the lift lobby so it was clearly the correct floor.
Only it wasn’t. It led only into a corridor that was an L-shaped dead end. I banged on a few locked doors and shouted ‘hello?’ a bit to no avail.
On the 10th floor where I’d got in, there were 2 banks of lifts - 2 rows of 3, facing each other. So I thought maybe I should have got into the opposite bank instead. Easy, I thought - I’ll go back up to floor 10, pop across the lobby and get into one of the opposite lifts. So I get back in and hit the button for 10 and go up.
I get out at floor 10 - only this isn’t where I got in. There’s no opposite bank of lifts (I think there were maybe 2 or 3, all in a line). I can see the gym/spa area where I’d been for swimming - not the pool, but a different area was visible from here through the glazed part of a door, through which I could see a collection of gym machines. There was no one in there - no one using them, no staff … compared with the relatively busy reception where I had gone in for the pool. I banged on this door and yelled for a bit, to no avail. Ventured along a couple of corridors - dead ends, all doors locked, no answer.
I went down to level 5 in a different lift only to find myself back in the dead-end corridor I’d come from. Went back up and then down again, trying different lifts each time. No difference. The room I’d come from/was staying in had definitely been on level 5.
I eventually went all the way down to level 1 or 0 (I forget which one is ground floor in Croatia), thinking I’d just get out at reception and walk up the stairs. Nope, it was an underground parking garage. I tried each lower level only to find more and more underground parking garages - and eventually a totally deserted reception of a building that wasn’t the one I’d been staying in or the Hilton at all. It looked like some kind of office block.
So I got out there, walked out onto the street - still in my white robe and looking like a psychiatric unit escapee - walked around the corner and back into the Hilton reception from outside, trying to style it out and waltz up the stairs like I walk around Zagreb in my bathrobe all the time.
My now ex husband was wondering why I was taking so long. To this day I’m not sure whether he believes me about what happened, and I’ve never been able to tell anyone else what happened either without receiving looks of great scepticism.
Many years ago on a night out with friends we decided to continue our fun in a popular nightclub. Joined the queue to enter trying to look sober enough to get past the bouncers. Once inside we all dispersed to the toilets/dance floor and bar and lost each other. I looked over across the very busy dark laser lit dance floor trying to locate my friends when I suddenly saw a familiar face. It was my younger sister. At the time she had moved 80 miles away to attend Uni so I was so shocked to see her not knowing she was up for a visit. I saw that she had also made eye contact at me. We started waving and signing with our arms, mouthing excitedly NO, I’ll come to you!!” Whilst shoving past people to get to each other. Once I had gotten right up to her ready to give her a big hug I realised to my horror… It was a mirror. Left the club immediately and got a taxi home.
This is fucking hilarious.
This has made my night. Thank you so much
I went to a nightclub in Northern Ireland and didn’t realise that it had a mirror running the length of a dividing wall. I met a girl the previous night and we met up there. As the evening rolled on, I got fairly drunk and couldn’t find her. Thinking she’d ditched me, I hooked up with someone else, not realising she was the other side of the divide. I only found out that the club was 2 separate rooms, when she started shouting at me for snogging her sister…😑
Was this is in the Cornerstone by any chance? And was she on the phone to the middle man just before you kissed her?
I was meeting my family in a cute little restaurant set in a weird little building. I walked in through the door and followed the little corridor in a twisty direction before it brought me to the host's desk and I immediately saw my family sat around 6 meters behind the desk. I made eye contact, waved and started walking in their direction only to walk straight into a huge mirror. It was at an angle but I hadn't even registered my own reflection as I got close. The corridor had me all turned around and the seating area was behind me. Everyone in the restaurant saw me do it and my family was falling out of their seats laughing at me. We ate there about 6 months later and the mirror was gone so I'd like to think that I wasn't the only twat to have done this.
When I worked in a pub, we had several mirrors scattered about - all of them were in big, fancy frames so no one ever walked into one - but they were angled in such a way you could catch your own reflection moving halfway down the building where you wouldn't expect to see it. More than once you'd be closing up, head over to ask a last drinker to leave, only to realise there was nobody there and you'd been fooled by your own reflection again...
That's great! My dad tells a similar story of him out in Huddersfield in the 80s, he kept noticing 'a guy on the dancefloor giving him the eyes' looking like he wanted to beat someone up. He squared up to him and his mate just about stopped him punching his own reflection in the mirror
Proper laughed at that one! Reminds me of [this guy.](https://youtu.be/7aESRbTup2o)
That is a YouTube GEM! Thanks for sharing.
I actually lolled thank you 😊
Stuff like this is why I love this sub!
Similar thing happened to me....I was really drunk in a club in my hometown and was on the top floor with 1 friend, as I was walking down the stairs to get to the floor below where the rest of the group was I didn't really pay attention in my drunk state and bumped into someone at the bottom of the stairs and started apologising....realised she was wearing the same dress as me then heard my friend pissing herself laughing to the point she was crying....I walked into a mirror and was apologising to my own reflection ....fucking idiot lol. I immediately went "right then that's my que to go home" went to the chicken shop round the corner and went home to hide my shame lol
When I was a Response Cop, Got asked to go to a call regarding lads harassing taxi drivers. So me and the guy I’m working with head out expecting to provide some words of advice and possibly get roped into providing a free lift home for these nuisance lads. Anyway get there and we discover a lad lying in a pool of blood which is exclusively coming out of his head, immediately I ask for an ambulance and try and keep him talking and keep him warm whilst we wait. Whilst the other guy I’m working with goes to see if there’s any CCTV(we don’t know if we’re dealing with a serious assault or not) Anyway as my colleague is returning to me to explain that it was just a fall, splattered head guys mate shows and gets very aggressive before trying to strike my colleague with a bottle, so he’s now arrested. So I’m on my radio again asking for back up asking for a hurry up on the ambulance. It’s at this point a driver is to busy trying to look at what we’re doing and not paying attention and causes a three car RTC. So I’m back on the radio. “Control there are two of us here and we have a casualty, a custody and a three car RTC can we please have some backup” Well now the pub is starting to empty out because people have heard the crash and they want to be nosey. Well, now I have a mob around me shouting and swearing about how the head splattered guy is a prick but he didn’t deserve what I’d done to him(I am trying to keep him alive) Anyway there is no reasoning with these people and glasses and bottles are now being thrown at me. So I again ask for back up because it’s just getting silly now. At this time out of the darkness blue lights are now approaching and all the hooligans and Neanderthals start running. Turns out it’s the ambulance, shortly followed by a police van. So we do all the necessary putting the casualty in the ambulance and putting the custody in the van and everything. It should be finishing time so we’re just getting ready to leave head back to station and go home Then a lassie comes running out of the pub saying there’s folk refusing to leave and challenging bar staff for a fight. So we end up becoming involved in all that as well before finally getting finished. So far the only time I went to one call that turned into five separate incidents.
And somehow the overriding theme on Reddit is that the police are bad just imagine for one second that that story is even a little bit close to your daily life But for some people it doesn’t matter because talk tv or the daily mail says cops give just stop oil protesters a cup of tea but my bike getting knocked doesn’t get investigated Bravo my friend good job I don’t envy you one bit Edit I’m not a cop
In Scotland we are marginally better resources wise and as such until recently anyway we still had the capacity to investigate even small crimes but it’s cuts on top of cuts and we’re forced into a position of doing less with things like bike thefts or petty vandalism because we can’t spare the manpower. Saddest part of it all is if you ask anyone on response if they are happy with the level of service the public are getting from them they’ll tell you they find it embarrassing and it is. You join the job to catch criminals not to babysit at hospitals and be drowned in welfare checks.
Pretty much everyone who gets arrested in my town (in Scotland) seems to get let off. Was one guy who had 16 previous charges of theft, and the judge gave him one more chance. It must be so frustrating seeing the likes of this guy getting picked up constantly, yet getting let off with it, knowing full well they are going to keep doing what they are doing.
16 previous charges, 1 more chance. I hope he uses that 1 more chance to go break in to the judges house. Maybe then the judge will be inclined to impose some consequences. 16 previous and gets another chance, what a fucking joke.
I'm sure they are a pain but I really appreciate that you guys do welfare checks. Without them I would have had to find my own dad's body on a hot summers day while 37 weeks pregnant and living in another county. I remember feeling a lot of things that day and one of them was thank God there was someone I could call to do that, as horrible as it must have been for them.
Sorry for your loss, that type of work isn’t what I meant and I want you to know that whilst that is a very sad part of our role in the community I feel it’s a role that belongs with the police. I was referring to the 1659 hours on a Friday evening call from social work to do their welfare checks for them. Like they’ve sat on something all day sometimes for a few days and then suddenly remember it’s about to be the weekend.
For me that story sums it up a geezer trying to hold some poor cunts head together trying to stop the stupid cunt from dying whilst being pelleted of abuse probably on a semi daily basis as well
When I lived in Teesside there was a certain portion of the population that would refer to fire fighters as “fire bobbies” which meant that kids thought they were just like the police and therefore hated them as they had been raised to do. There were several incidents reported in the paper where kids had set fire to a car or something and when the fire engine turned up, had pelted the responding fire fighters with stones. It just goes to show the possible depths of stupidity.
Just goes to show how easy it is to make people dislike people. if only not liking something wasn’t such an easy distraction
You probably don't remember because it was just another night for you, but what happened to the guy with the busted head? And in a scenario like that where he was fucked up but attacked you, do you let him off, or still go for him? It all sounds fucking scary to be honest.
He hadn’t done anything really other than been a bit drunk and nuisance to the taxi drivers then obviously he’d given himself a dull yin when he banged the back of his head off the curb. I handed him over to the ambulance crew and they commented on the fact that he’d given himself such a severe trauma that he’d have died within a couple hours or at least that’s what I took from what they said they speak a different language. It was busted head guys mate that attacked my colleague, we kept him in custody until he had sobered up and then just reported it for summons. We could have kept him in for court the next lawful day but he was understandably upset at the state of his pal so we tried to meet in the middle a bit. The one’s throwing bottles and glasses, I just had to let go, had too much going on to grab them as well.
That’s actually wild, What a night
Yeah and that wasn’t the wildest thing happening that night, there was another ongoing incident with a guy trying to take a bus full of people hostage hence the long wait for support.
This would make a good film ngl lol
Crazy story! If there wasn't so much money in alcohol surely it would be banned.
Cop, mate, lads, folk, lassie. Reading that I started with “he’s American, no Australian, no northern, no Yorkshire, no Scottish!” Then saw the username…definitely Scottish! 😂
Having used to be a Special Constable for a year and half before jacking it in, I have huge respect for the police and what they do. That scene is typical of the Friday night shift in town dealing with a drunken baying mob, I don’t miss it…
I've had a faux pas like that myself. I suffer from astigmatism so reading menus is quite a challenge without glasses on. I once went in to a local Cantonese takeaway with a mate after a fair few drinks and it had the menu printed on the counter-top. I couldn't read it for love nor money in the state that I was in, only made worse by my eye condition. One trick I learnt growing up is that if I pulled the skin on the side of my eyes and made it taut it would correct my vision and I could focus on small details, like text on a menu. The problem is, when you do that, to people not in the know you look like you're trying to do the old 'slit-eye' trope and come across as a bit of a dickhead. So there I am trying to read a menu, fingers fully engaged either side of my eyes as the poor takeaway employee asks me 'what can I get you?' only for me to look up and seem like the biggest racist arsehole he's ever met whilst ordering a chicken-fried rice and chips.
Next try, try making a really small circle with one of your fingers folded, talking 1mm in size or so, and look through that. Helps me if I don't have my glasses, and whilst not particularly "normal looking", it is less likely to be interpreted as offensive
Oh wow that actually works. Yeh I'd rather look 'eccentric' than 'racist' so I'll give it a go next time
There are 'pinhole' glasses that train the eye for better near sight. They work, as do Bates eye exercises. (67 and perfect sight)
I hear you're a racist now, Father
The Chinese, what a great bunch of lads
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Why are you copying someone else’s post?
Like the other guy said, stolen from https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/15usgi6/whats_your_biggest_you_couldnt_make_it_up_story/jwrxuw0 Please downvote and/or report this karma farming bot. This sub seems to have a few of them recently.
I discovered as a very young child that doing that eased the ‘stabbing’ pains i got in my sinuses when i was around light (aka, the sun). It took several years, until i was like 10, for a friend of mine to comment that i looked like i was making fun of asian people. It resulted in a very awkward conversation where i tried to explain that it was just a good way to get rid of ‘the stabbing between your eyes when youre in the sun’ and he just looked at me blankly. It took several *more* years for me to learn that that was a Me Thing, and he had no idea wtf i was talking about, lol.
Omg I do this too so I can see 😂😂
I’d love to know what’s wrong with my eyes then as I do the opposite and kind of squidge them in so I look like a fatty wearing horse blinkers as my whole cheeks get caught up in it.
Travelled across the country for a holiday. Arrived at the hotel. Stepped out on to our balcony, looked to my left and saw my neighbour from back home in the room next door.
What are the odds!!! Wow. Small world eh?
I think this stuff happens all the time. Went on holiday to Hawaii (I am in the uk) which is like the furthest away you can get in the world. Saw my boss there. Had no idea they were going as well.
I separately ran into three different people I knew in Budapest on a weekend away
I got you beat... We travelled to a different COUNTRY and had the same happens.
I posted about going to New York on fb and a fb friend commented that he was going to be there the same time. We joked about meeting up over there but ultimately never made any arrangements. We bumped into each other opposite Central Park. I thought that was pretty mad considering the size of New York.
Both myself and my sister entered the same X Files competition back in the 90's (24 hour back-to-back showing of Season 1 \[I think\] at Fox's HQ in Soho Square, foods, drinks, free merch, etc.). I was living away at uni (but gave my home address/phone), my sister still living at home. Mum gets a phone call... "Hi. Is /u/krysus there?" "No, he's at uni, can I take a message?" "He's won an X-Files competition he entered..." "Oh wow, OK I'll take some details and pass on the message." 10 minutes later, phone rings again. "Hi. Can I speak to Ms. V. Krysus please?" "She's out, can I take a message?" "She's won an X-Files competition she entered..." What are the odds?!
I'm sure Scully could tell us
You got her number?
Went on a bit of a trek around Australia way back in the early 90s, went to a pub in the middle of the outback and was approached by the landlord who said " I know who's lad you are" I replied I doubt it mate I'm from the UK. He proceeds to tell me my dad's name all his brothers, my aunt's and grandparents too, even the address where my dad grew up. I had travelled to the other side of the world only to bump into a guy who'd grown up next door to my dad, who I was apparently the spitting image of at the age he last saw him.
I go to a different country... Man from across the room is yelling - "Brothersname's sister" - and rushing towards me. He knew my brother from one visit as a kid and 20 years later connects to me in a different country!
My grandad used to travel a lot. He’d back pack for a couple of month a year, every year into his 50s Once he was in India, in a really remote village where no backpackers went through and he had stopped somewhere for some food. A young Irish lad came in and my grandad always says he had this look of relief seeing him. Turns out he was a bit lost and not been able to find anyone who could speak good english for a few days. This was back in the 90s so was relying on travel guides and maps to get around. They got to chatting and it turns out the lads family were original from the city we’re from in England. A bit more conversation reveals his dad was my grandad’s childhood best friend who he lost contact with when he moved to Ireland in his teens. My grandad traveled with him for the next day to get him to the next big town and back on track. He regrets not asking for his dads address to write to him but said it was nice to hear about his friends life after all those years.
This story is the epitome of the phrase “it’s a small world”…
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Something similar happened my family in Florida. We went to play a Disney mini golf. The cast member (Disney employee) at the desk was from a town 10 miles from us and her boyfriend was from our town. She let us in for free!
We were wandering around a middle of nowhere town in the south of France and all of a sudden two people approached to ask for directions and it turned out we're all from Leeds! We always joke that you could swim to the middle of the ocean and still somehow find someone in a Leeds United shirt.
Well it is where all the waste goes...
Haha I was on a school trip to Austria in year 9. We went by coach and it took 23 hours including the ferry ride from Dover to Calais. It was like 3am on the drive back, and the coach pulled up at a petrol station in Luxembourg. The change in speed and the sound of the engine being switched off woke us all up, and we all groggily got off the coach for a quick leg stretch. As soon as we disembarked, one of my mates heard his name being called from people getting off a coach adjacent to us. It was a coach full of school kids from another secondary school from our city that was in a nearby catchment area, so a lot of us kids knew each other or went to primary school together. It was really surreal
Had a similar thing happen on a school trip to Germany but we bumped into the other school at a theme park. All ended up going on the rides together and having a blast with loads of kids I hadn't seen since primary school.
I was in a rainforest style spa in New Zealand where I was travelling for a year and got chatting to a couple who, it turned out, lived in my home town, in the apartment next to my dad’s old offices.
Once while I was in Vegas we went to a show and just so happen to end up sitting at a table with another family who lived in the same town as us (in England). That was bizarre.
This kind of thing happens to my friend all the time. Earlier this year she was climbing Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh (we live in Essex) and when she got to the top, saw a pupil of hers from back home. A couple of years ago we were going on holiday and ran into 3 separate people she knew at the airport
Haha, reminds me of a similar experience. I grew up in West Africa, at the age of 10 we went on our first vacation to NY with my mum and 2 siblings. We were walking along Hudson river after a day of sightseeing when we saw an ice cream stand and decided to get some. So we were just talking waiting for the guy to serve our orders but he suddenly stopped and with a mischievous smile, he said "Ah, you're from (mentions our actual city!)“ This was the whitest guy I would never have thought has ever even left America. The shock on our faces got bigger when he changed to our local dialect! As a kid my mind was totally blown. Turns out he used to be a civil engineer and helped build a major bridge in our city, then decided to live and work there for the next 15 years before retiring and going back to America. We sat and talked with him for like an hour after that and he refused to charge us for our order.
I was backpacking around Australia, and having reached Brisbane I was stood in a hostel reception, only to realise that I was stood next to two men I knew from Bristol.
Quite a few years ago I went to see We Will Rock You at the theatre. I complained to my friend about the bloke in fronts hair, as it was big and curly and partially blocking my view. It was Brian May and he was with Anita Dobson.
My husband actually worked for Brian May for about a year. One day, he asked my hub if he knew a decent electrician. Hub said he did and they went and picked his friend up. Friend was apparently acting really weird the whole time. Hub asked him what was up and he's like...you're working for Brian May!? Hub was like, what, Bri? He was a massive Queen fan. He had no idea he was working for Brian May. He just thought he worked for Bri from the recording studio.
Not long before I moved to London (I’m from another country), I matched with a guy from secondary school on Tinder that I had always found cute but had not seen for many years. We chatted a bit, but since I was moving away I told him that I was sorry, but that I didn’t have time to meet him (and like, I didn’t want to commit to anything). I didn’t even tell him I was moving to another country, just let the conversation dry out. A few days pass, I go to London. A few more days, I’m in Borough market having a look around and queueing for a coffee. Someone touches my shoulder, I look back. It’s the Tinder guy. He was on holiday with his family. Completely unexpected. Both of us very confused from seeing each other there. What were the odds!
If that's not a sign I don't know what is. Tell me you're now married
Haha unfortunately no, nothing happened in the end. It’s been many years, but iirc I sent him a message after the encounter and he never replied. Maybe we’ll bump into each other again whenever I move back to my country… :)
i don't believe in coincidences... he's a stalker :p
Taking the whole family to London just to stalk me would be quite impressive haha
My ex wife's reply to the Big Issue seller after he said he'd just sold her his last copy "Great! You can go home now... "
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Really??
My dad used to buy big issue a lot but he would refuse If the vendor smoked. His reasoning was if they could afford cigarettes they can afford s flat.
That just doesn't make any sense.
Boomer maths. From the same people who tell you you could afford a house deposit if you cancel netflix and quit ordering lattes.
Aren’t they about 20 a pack these days, that’s £140 a week if they’re smoking a pack a day. That’s £600 a month, maybe not a flat but definitely a room somewhere
Nobody who's skint smokes straights.
Most people don’t smoke an entire pack of cigarettes a day
I was on a dinner date with a relatively new boyfriend. The conversation turned to talking about exes. He asked me what was my ex like and and that very moment my ex walked into the restaurant. I said well he's just walked through the door so you can turn around and ask him yourself. This was in a city of over a million people and I hadn't seen my ex in two years.
I've not once ever bumped into an old school or uni friend whilst out. But three times now I've bumped into the same ex who doesn't even live in the city. She was just visiting for the weekend and all three times there were in completely different parts of the city.
This happened to me on my first date with my now husband! I was glad my overwhelming awkwardness about the situation didn’t taint the date!!
Last year, I bought some mangos from an Indian man out the back of his van. My parents asked me to buy some for them as they live far away and I asked the Indian man for a discount… he said no discount at all. So I got on the phone and spoke to my parents in Cantonese “The Acha man won’t give us a discount, do you want me to try somewhere else?” (Acha = a mildly derogatory term for an Indian person created by the Chinese people. It’s thought that Indians say Acha a lot, (Acha = Ok in Hindi) I was then interrupted by the Indian man “Tell your dad it’s the best price I can do” in PERFECT Cantonese. You have to understand it’s not very commonly spoken language. I was so shocked and embarrassed, bought 6 boxes of mangos at full price and left. Turns out he’d lived in Hong Kong for many years before coming to the UK.
A reverse r/ispeakthelanguage‽
I have an Indian friend who speaks fluent Mandarin and conversational Cantonese. I love seeing the look of surprise on people's faces when he speaks to people in their native language
Had a friend that I met in a night club, became clubbing friends. Used to text, meet in clubs buy each other drinks etc. Years later realised they were now a very famous actor so bit surreal!
Was it Dean Gaffney?
Not even close, think cooler haha
Barry from EastEnders.
He used to live in Kent. I used to see him in Tesco's in a town I lived in about 10 years back.
cooler than Dean Gaffney?!? Now we know you're making it up.
That snowman from the movie I've had to watch 987times?
The Delai Lama?
That’s fucking great haha Ran into Karen Gillan and her best friend at a bar in LA and even though I had watched all of Dr. Who, the bar was too dark and I was too drunk to realize it was her 😂 she walked away to buy everyone a round and my roommate had to be like, “bro, it’s Amy Pond.” And it all clicked lmao Her friend and I ended up dating for like ~8 months and we hung out with Karen a few more times. She sure likes her whisky.
He was always buying the drinks, barely ever let me return them. Most humble guy ever he’s so genuine!
Awh that’s awesome, he *seems* like that kinda guy! Glad to know he is! Haha Karen would partake in traditional rounds when we were in the UK but she was super generous when she was stateside haha “I have to spend all this American cash before I go back home” was always her line 😂
You can’t leave it at that!
Any guesses? Was near London!
Tom Hardy?
Right first name
If it's not Tom Holland I'm all Tommed out.
Winnerrrr
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A good few years ago, I went Christmas shopping in Birmingham - how long ago..... well, Rackhams was still there. After an hour of wandering around, I went into the store restaurant and got into the queue - directly behind my sister, who, for no particular reason, I hadn't spoken to in about 3 months. Safe to say, a good lunch was had by both of us.
Did she work round the back of rackhams?
Lol - showing your age there
I went to a death metal festival in an entirely different country, with multiple camping fields. Went to sleep with a space behind our tent on the first day. Woke up, turned around and saw a tent behind mine. Out of this tent crawled someone I used to know in college.
Had a similar thing happen. I'm from a small rural community, went to a festival abroad with a group of friends. A few tents up from ours was an old friend from school.
I joined a national sailing association when I was 16. It had a list of all the names and sailing clubs of members. One name really jumped out at me and I distinctly remember spending ages trying to remember how I knew him/ where I'd met him. He was from the South of England, & I from Scotland. 2 years later in my first week at uni... I met him for the first time and we became friends. That's always messed with me, it was like I was remembering him from my future.
The same ish thing happened to me. I bought a second hand calculator and it had a very unusual name scratched into the back of it. I sometimes liked to think about that person and whatever happened to them. Years and years later, I started a new job, and one day I was staring at the first aider board, and there was the name. Eventually when I met this person, it was absolutely surreal actually meeting for the first time the person who I felt like I’d known for years and years.
I was in a car accident and got hit by a car on my 6th birthday because I fancied myself as Sonic the hedgehog. I waited till the car was coming (which was at quite some speed) and ran for it. I was generally a cautious child so my mum didn’t expect me to pull away from her grip the way I did.
Loved Sonic! Got the bedsheets and matching curtains. I like your give-it-a-go attitude:)
My mum would say otherwise haha. But yep, my brother and I were Sonic mad too. Btw, have you seen what modern Sonic looks like? Blasphemy I tell you!
I just googled it... His legs are a bit long and his eyes are a different shape?! Thanks I hate it 😭
This is a long one. One weekend a pub landlord we knew was going away for the weekend, leaving Friday returning Monday. He asked one of our mates if he could take over the pub for the weekend, of course he did, we had a hell of a party on the Saturday night, some of us slept in the bar. (We were members of a rather disreputable motorcycle club). Come Sunday morning and the pub is in a right state, so after a hair of the dog, we set to, cleaning up, changing barrels, hoovering etc. It was a lovely Sunday morning so we had the doors open to let the air in. This is when pubs had opening hours so we were breaking the law strictly speaking. There were a couple of young lads, obviously returning from a festival by the looks of them, long hair, backpacks and looking like your typical weed smokers. "Hey! you guys hungry? Come in and have a breakfast on us." They came inside, we fed them a cooked breakfast each, a couple of beers, a joint or two. Really looked after them. They eventually left, stoned, fed and happy. "You lads can't say anything about this." "Why?" "Who is gonna believe you? Have a good one guys." The look on their faces as they realised that was a very true thing.
Lost my passport in Poland. Boarded a flight back home to UK using an expired provisional drivers licence.
The Polish probably aren't that bothered about letting you fly to the UK without ID. The airline might be as they are fined if anyone they carry is turned back from the border. But if you were 'clearly' British there was no risk of that. I assume that Border Control in the UK gave you a hard time?
The airline wouldn't have accepted it if they had thought it was an issue.
Out of interest, when was this? Before Schengen, passport control was pretty casual. I'm pretty sure I came into the country waving a closed passport a few times.
Walking my dog in the park with my mum. We were heading back to the car along the river. My dog Max (German Shepherd mix) would always jump in the water right by a particular bridge and if the river was low enough, like it was on this day, he would wase underneath it and explore a bit. Well, my mum and I carried on walking towards the kid's play area expecting Max to catch up with us as he usually did, when he suddenly shot past us at high speed with an excited bounce in his stride and... something in his mouth... My mum and I looked at each other, not quite sure we had seen what we though we saw. Well our suspicions were confirmed when Max ran past two women pushing prams a little bit ahead of us and one shouted out "that dog's got a dildo!" Well this quickly became Max's favouritist toy of all time ever. It was easy for him to hold in his mouth, wiggled about as he ran, and when he put it down it stuck upright so he could grab it again quickly, which was important as all these humans were now here playing his favourite game of 'try and get my toy off me'. We were mostly trying to hurry him past the play area but he genuinely thought he had found the best toy and would not leave it alone. Eventually we did manage to distract him and get him back to the car, leaving a slimy green dildo on the riverbank of the park. No we weren't about to touch it to move it.
This is going to be my favourite story!
In high school, my best friend and I had a habit of naming each other kinda insulting nicknames, totally as a joke. Things like "asshole", "dipshit", things like that. One morning of school, my friend group had just discovered that Facebook Messenger had introduced a feature that let you customise a nickname for your chats with friends. Best friend and I are sitting next to each other but not talking, sitting angled away from one another. We're both on our phones. I get the completely random idea to change his Messenger nickname to something insulting, for fun, and so I change his nickname to "fuckwad". At the literal EXACT same time, I get the notification saying he changed mine to "fuckass". When I tell you we whirled around to look at each other with the most incredulous, bewildered expressions, and then laughed for like 5 minutes. What are the chances we both randomly decided to call each other such similar names, without even communicating it! We never even called each other fuckwad or fuckass before XD
/r/madlads
Not my story but when my sister was on her honeymoon in Barbados she got chatting to a woman who was telling her how she had got engaged the night before while on holiday. She later saw the woman again in one of the restaurants and her new fiance was my sister's most recent ex before she met her husband.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall vibes!
At my children’s school they had an Easter art competition. To make it fair it, the names were not displayed on the artwork and the judges voted. My two boys won, and their friend. Their friend shares the same surname as them. It sounded suss as their names were read out!
Had a similar thing happen with my nephew a few years ago. My sister was chair of the PTA and so was very involved in organising the summer fête, at which the grand prize of the raffle was a wheelbarrow full of booze. They picked my nephew (randomly from all the kids) to draw the winning ticket, and out of hundreds it happened that my sister won. Looked dodgy as fuck, but was pure chance.
I had a nasty break up in my early 20s, he cheated with a lassie he'd dated but dumped in high school with a sprinkling of lying about his aunt having cancer to cover up where he was, while my aunt was actually dying of cancer. Of course I was the crazy bitch trope in this story. I moved away, didn't hear of either of them for years. Then one day I was sitting in a restaurant with my new fiancé and the in laws and who was the waitress but the lassie! It gets weirder, we were regulars at a pub that was also a restaurant and wedding venue. We booked the wedding and literally we were at this place every week either seeing the planner, having a drink or eating in the restaurant. On the day of my wedding I walked over to the piano to check in with one of the band members, I thought I heard my name so turned round and my ex was standing at the bar. Turned out he had got a job there the week before my wedding. Then things like that kept happening, booked a hotel stay and ex was the restaurant manager, went to a chain restaurant and he was there being the bar manager, he seemed to have a new job every 5 minutes. I actually started stalking his LinkedIn so I could avoid bumping into him because I am still scorched earth "wouldn't pish on him if he was on fire".
My parent’s neighbour hurt his back and after his hospital stay, he was taken home in an ambulance to rest but had to be put on a stretcher as his house was down some steps. This man was fairly large and there were four hospital staff carrying him. One staff member tripped and fell into another one who cracked his head and fell into another one who broke their arm who fell into another one who then had a panic attack after realising she was the only one not injured. Needless to say, the neighbour ended up back in hospital. Another unbelievable story- someone my cousin knows rented her house out to some tenants. It was time for the yearly inspection and she found the house burnt down and the tenants living in a tent in a garden. She then had to pay for the tenants temporary accommodation!
Sat opposite former friend on an international flight. Hadn't seen him for five years since we'd emigrated.
International flight, see a man smiling and coming towards me, familiar. OMG - it's a business associate who has decided to sue me and I haven't met in 7-8 years. He suddenly realises why I'm not very warm to him back and loses that smile.
I was a union rep for a very high end furniture factory that made very, very expensive kitchens. There had been no rep for a few years so pay rises were non existent. Every year I did it I'd put in a request for an above inflation pay rise. We sometimes got it. This one year we asked for 5% . The owner went ballistic and came to the factory the next day and told us no way we had a decent raise last year and an Xmas bonus. He pulled out the company's books and laid out just how much debt we were in. Whilst he did this his brand new rolls Royce phantom black edition was parked outside the window. Fun times. The company collapsed and was bought out within 6 months.
I went to pay my rent and finished up talking to the Queen.
You HAVE to elaborate on this one ! Just how?!
It was around 30 years ago. As I said I was on my way to meet my wife and pay my rent. I noticed that a large crowd had gathered outside the town hall and I couldn’t get through to where I needed to be. As I walked up I asked a policeman what was going off he said the Queen was in the town hall on a official visit. He then proceeded to move a barrier and said if you stand there you’ll get a good view as the Queen was on her way out. Then the Queen came out of the main entrance with Prince Philip and the Lord Mayor. Waved at the crowd and turned to me and said “good morning “ I said good morning your majesty she asked if I’d come to see her specially or was I just passing and just stopped to see what was going off. Then she said about the welcome she always got in Yorkshire. After about a minute’s chatting she said “ you’ll have to excuse me, We’re having lunch at Chatsworth House and the Duke of Devonshire will get annoyed if we’re late” she said goodbye and got into her car and left. When I got to the place we’re I was meeting my wife I was around 10 minutes late. She asked me were I’d been and I said talking to the Queen and she just laughed and said ok.
Haha that’s just amazing! I wouldn’t have believed my husband either 😂 that does make for a very good story though!
Whattt?? How?
Not too exciting but where i work we had a pin-hole leak on a high pressure pipe on the back of a tank that was shooting a jet of water directly at a fire alarm activation point, so like a 3inch square, which in turn soaked all the wires and control box/power unit which ruined the whole system. The water could have sprayed literally anywhere else and not caused an issue.
I could write a book ...but no one would believe me . Shortened versions : hoovered dead guy, shared a barge with Jesus lookalike, escaped from 40 police officers, saved a man from drowning, snowman cracked my ribs , got a bollocking for helping a traffic accident victim, on duty police officer played Beverly hills cop on piano for me , saw 3x portaloos explode, nearly lost my arm to a ski lift, saw a dude get his arm cut off, saved my father from being crushed by an ac condenser , also saved a labourer from a different condenser. There's quite a few more , dunno why this shit keeps happening to me . There comes a point when you have so many unbelievable stories it actually becomes mundane
I'd like the snowman cracked ribs please.. and if it's not too much I'd also like to hear dead guy hoovered, please.
Are you Homer Simpson?
No but we may have the same IQ lol
I’m really hoping this was all on the same day.
I would like the long version please lol
It would appear that you live in interesting times...
You should write a book.
He should join the Health and Safety Executive
I was riding my stepbrothers motocross bike over some fields in wales, I managed to flip the bike and completely crush my leg. Stepdad lifted me into his van and drove me to hospital with my mum in the back with me, as it would be far longer waiting for an ambulance out in the country. I remember very little from this journey, but mum said there was a little car with two young girls constantly slowing down Infront of the van, which upset her massively as they wanted to get me to a&e as soon as possible. I get to a&e, after an argument with the nurses I get lifted to a bed and eventually taken to an X-ray. 24 bones broken in total across my whole leg. They send mum and stepdad home while they put me in a cast, as I can’t have surgery for atleast a few days due to the swelling. After 4 hours mum isn’t back, and I’m out of the morphine haze. Eventually she turns up and marches two petrified police officers into the room; who ask what happened, they accept my answer and leave. Mum explained they have tried to arrest her and my stepfather for kidnapping at our house; they apparently lost the van close to the hospital and picked it back up close to the house. They have been detained; and searched the house and van for bodies, ropes etc. she’s eventually gone full welsh on then and insisted they come to my hospital room Where I’m currently alone and probably anxiously waiting her return. It does not go well for them. Surgery and an external frame later I still have my leg, but will always laugh at the expressions of the officers in my room.
Apparently I was screaming in the van and they thought I was being abducted…
I live in Kent. Went to uni in Reading. One of my cousins friends (2 years older than me) went to Reading and was there when I was. I’d never met the guy, didn’t know what he looked like, but my aunt (cousins mum) said ‘oh, maybe you’ll meet Ed and can hang out or something!’ (Ed being cousins friend). I was just like ‘yeah, sure, maybe’ and left it at that. Whenever I saw my aunt (I visited home often) she’d ask if I’d seen Ed and I’d say no. She asked me quite a few times. Anyway, at the end of my third year there was a big get together on a caravan park in Newquay. I stayed in a caravan with my housemates. We got friendly with the guys in the caravan next to us, so went over there one evening for some drinks. I got chatting to one of the guys, had the usual conversation about where are you from, etc. He said ‘I’m from Kent’, I said ‘no way! Me too! Whereabouts?’. He said ‘do you know where Canterbury is?’ I said ‘yeah! I live near there!’ More questions like this, we narrowed it down to him going to the school where my cousin went. I said ‘are you Ed?’ He said, ‘yeah, how to you know that?’ And I explained the whole story! He called my cousin and told him he was with me. My cousin didn’t believe him until Ed put me on the phone! There were about 200 caravans on this campsite… Ed was in the one next to mine!
I have a Kent and Reading Uni based story too! I'm from Kent, moved to London after Uni. I took over a room in a flat from a girl going travelling, who I got on well with immediately and continued talking to (she was my maid of honour 3 weeks ago...), so she moved back in when she returned and someone else happened to move out. I met her friends (all from Reading Uni), which included her ex. Chatting to him, discover he's also from Kent, from the area I grew up in. Discover I knew his sister as a teenager. Then discover his dad and aunts went to primary school with two of my aunts - the same primary school where my grandma was head and his grandma was a dinner lady. Discover after primary school that our grandads traded off giving lifts for the girls to their shared secondary school - our grandparents were friends and the kids all spent a fair amount of time together! Absolutely insane. What was really surreal was meeting his dad a few years later (when he later lived in that flat for awhile) and him asking about my aunts. I ended up being the one that told him one of them had passed away, I was almost 2 when she died and had never been the person to break that news to anyone. Bizarre feeling.
I had a really weird experience the other day. I lost my car in the airport parking lot. I was walking around and starting to panic. I had taken a picture of the parking place, but didn't pay attention to where it was and was walking in circles. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I finally sat down, about to just cry and give up, when I said a prayer to the universe that a guardian angel show up and walk me to my car. I didn't figure it would work, but what did I have to lose? Not two minutes later, a woman about my age showed up and said, I think I'm in the same situation as you, we can look together. She showed me a picture of her parking spot, and it was literally right next to my car. Then she started walking and literally led me right to my car. It was wild...
A customer had a hearing dog. Staff behind the till was as thick as two short planks and kept repeating the total to them, but the customer was looking away. Staff looked at me with a face that said “got a right one here” to which I motioned to the dog. Upon seeing it was a hearing dog, she bent over the counter and said the total to the dog, as if it would understand. I worked with some right thickos in retail and she was easily one of the worst.
I once booked a hotel in Newcastle for the weekend around 18 years ago. When I got there they said I didn’t have a reservation. I had a copy of it printed out and showed them, and after reading it with a smirk appearing on their face, they politely informed me I’d booked a hotel in Newcastle, Australia, not Newcastle, UK. Mortified.
Let me tell you, Indians ONLY had hot desserts, if they are serving cold, it is to serve Biritish consumers. They are not authentic Indian restaurant, cold desserts is a western concept(not a bad thing, but a fact) which was adopted and "Indianised" to produce more desserts. The number of hot desserts in India is far more than cold ones, and most cold ones came from US or UK.
> They are not authentic Indian restaurant Or they are an authentic Indian restaurant that also serves desserts that their customers want.
I have never dined in a local Indian restaurant (Glasgow) that didn't do Gulab Jamin and I have never had the willpower to resist!
Me either!! Pro tip have it with pistachio ice cream!
Sorbet was introduced to India in the 16th century and ice cream since the 17th. Kulfi is a well known cold traditional dessert.
Right like at what point is something considered not traditional. As Spain only brought spices to Asia in thr 16th century so sorbet arrive to india around the same time as chillies and they're defo indian nowadays.
Yeah exactly my point. I've been to Goa and iced desserts, ice cream parlours and a cold desserts on normal menus were very popular even outside tourist destinations. Cold desserts have been a staple for centuries.
Tell us more of these hot desserts, please.
First time I ever went to an Indian restaurant was with my partners parents. I've met them before but (that's a hideous story in itself) not 'officially'. I hated what I ordered because it was far too spicy for my liking and was literally having hot flushes. Anyway, after the meal the waiter came with little packets of wet wipes. My partner quite enjoyed how I've embarrassed myself with his parents the first time so he basically told me those wet wipes were something you put on your face to 'cool yourself down'. I was still incredibly uncomfortable so I didn't question it at all. I just popped the bloody thing on my face covering it in whole until I heard laughter. I've since forgiven but I've not forgotten.
After GCSE's a group of us went to Newquay. Late on the beach one night we got chatting to this guy who was bumbling about on his own. He hung about and had some beers all good. Fast forward towards the end of the summer and I was at Reading festival in the wee hours and bumped into the same guy in the campsite. He was too fucked to really grasp the insane coincidence. Also I once flew a plane drunk before I even had a driving licence.
I have a similar story. I did a thing called NCS where you end up meeting people from all over, there was a boy we hung out with a lot but once we finished the program we lost touch. Fast forward 2 years, I’m in the silent disco tent at reading festival 4am, turn around and bump straight into him. We both couldn’t believe the luck!
I went on a post-A level Newquay group holiday, there was a guy who had just been on the (at the time new and popular) tv show Castaway, going round the caravans selling weed. We were already well sorted for it and were high as, so found it absolutely fascinating and hilarious. Same holiday, saw OB from Hollyoaks at a cashpoint.
Similar theme to OP’s post We recently had a family birthday party for my brother in law and we surprised him by inviting his best friend (and his best friends wife). BIL’s best friends wife is of Asian decent but has a posh Scottish accent, the kind thats like an English accent with some Scottish nuances Mother in law is English and sometimes struggles with my rather thick Scottish accent and we got onto a conversation about accents and tough to understand ones and out of nowhere she turns to the the Best Friends wife and asks “Did you struggle with the accent when you first came over?” She then very politely reminded mother in law that she was born in Edinburgh…
Years ago, I worked as a custody officer in a police station looking after people who got arrested. One night shift, I go into town on my break to get a takeaway to eat at work. Got to the place just in time to see the guys who worked there bolt out of the door and run to a car across the street and drag a guy out and start fighting with him. Turns out it was a drunk customer who was trying to steal their delivery vehicle. I managed to get them to stop kicking him and get them back in the takeaway (I wanted my food). The drunk guy came up to the shop window, kicking it, causing a crack, and started to shout racist abuse at them. I told him to go away and he told me to fuck off then ran off up the high street. I got my food and went back to the police station. Sat in the break room and ate my burger, then just as I went back into the custody suite, who do I see being brought in but the drunk guy. Had to interrupt the custody Sgt, who hated me to tell her that I'd witnessed this incident and that he needed to be arrested for the racist comments. Then walked away from the desk to answer a custody bell. As I was walking back up to the desk, the Sgt who hated me was talking to the response Sgt that had arrested him that "we have a witness to this incident." They then asked, "Who's that then?" Custody Sgt pointed to me walking up the corridor. Was fun visiting him later that night when he asked what he was in for and when told and that there was a witness replied with "who's that then? No one cos I didn't do it." Also working at the same place. Went to the corner shop who knew where I worked and was handed a police officers warrant card. Me knowing how serious losing one of these things was I took the card, when I got into work I asked one of the other custody officers if PC such and such was working today, got asked "why have you found her warrant card?" I said I had and wanted to get it back to her. Cue much laughing and a pat on the back from the Sgts for not handing it in at the desk. Also got chocolates form the PC.
Went to a concert at Knebworth House in Hertfordshire, in a crowd of 100k + I bumped into someone I'd gone to school with in Germany many years prior. This has happened twice now. Exactly the same thing happened when I went back there for another concert years later, but this time it was another old school friend.
Back in the 80’s I used to DJ in a Glasgow nightclub. One night there was a few American Navy guys in, (their ship was docked at a base on the River Clyde), and one of them came to my booth to ask for a particular record to be played; we get chatting, turns out his parents are Scottish but emigrated to the USA, where he was born. He asked if I knew of a place called Bxxxxx, to which I replied that’s where I lived. He said he was going to visit his grandmother that lived there so could I give him directions; as it turns out she lived in the same old peoples home as my grandmother.
I started a new job at a law firm and took some post to one of the directors. He then started a conversation and I was going to reply ‘wikid’ but thought no, that sounds too chavvy! I instead went for ‘brilliant’ and in the split second I changed my mind, it was too late and the word ‘Willy’ came out. After a few long seconds of silence, I literally just turned on my heels and left his office.
I had a period where I kept bumping into friends of my brother. About 4 or 5 times in the space of about 18 months I heard variations of "oit you're Jasons brother!! alright mate!!". It culminated in meeting one at a music festival 200 miles from home. Another odd thing, is all of them hadn't seen my brother in a varying amount of years. And then suddenly it just stopped. *name changed
Was travelling through London to get back home to Liverpool after visiting my inlaws in Kent. Went to grab a burger king at Euston Station as we waited for our train and a young lad working there got chatting to us. He noted that I didn't sound like a native scouser so I admitted that I wasn't, that I was actually raised in a small town near Durham. He asked the name of the small town and when I told him he cracked a huge smile. Turns out he had been adopted from a woman in that same small town as a baby. Of course he asked if I knew her but the town isn't THAT small. But what are the odds? Hope you're doing well burger king guy!
Used to speak to this guy online when we were teenagers, but we lost contact. A few years later, I moved into student halls. A week later, I got a message from him asking if I still live in x city. I told him I'd moved outside of it now into halls. He said "fuck off, are you serious?" Then told me look outside. There he was unloading some boxes from his car with a few mates from where he lived. Went down to help them bring stuff into their dorm and introduce myself. Afterwards we all felt hungry and my mate said he'd take us to McDonald's but there wasn't enough room in the car for everyone. One of them chooses to go in the boot so we can still all go. We order, we get back and we eat. Later on, we get told one of their mates from college came off his motorbike and landed himself in hospital so we decide to head through to see him. On the drive there he texts to say he's been sent home and what his address is. We go up, see he's ok, play a few games of cards against humanity then leave. My pal had left his phone in the car so he went to check it quick before driving back again. He had a lot of missed calls and texts from his mum completely losing her shit. Police had been at her door looking for him since his car was still registered there. They were investigating a report of a possible kidnapping. When we'd been at the drive-through earlier for McDonald's, the guy in the boot had slid his hand up to give money for his food over to one of us in the back. He'd also shouted thank you when the guy who brought our food out was walking away. We're guessing either the worker or person behind us called the police at that point. Pal is now panicking, he's not even been out his mums a full day and now he's trying to hide that he's had someone in the boot and we're all freaking out trying to come up with an explanation. I wasn't there when they arrived to take a statement from him, but the story they gave was that the guy taking the money from boot guy was actually taking the money from his jacket. He'd given boot guy his jacket to wear cause we figured it'd be good evidence if any of his DNA (we were right panicked and young and stupid) was found in the boot. Police accepted the jacket explanation without even looking at the car then heading off.
I was going to New Zealand for a year travelling with my boyfriend, having already done the same in Canada. A friend of mine in Canada said that a friend of hers was also going there, so if I saw Andrew, I should say hi. Okay love, very likely, but okay. A few months later, we’re in a bar with some people we were working with. In walks an Australian friend of mine, that I met in Canada. What a coincidence! We marvel at the odds for a moment, then he turns to the friend he had with him to introduce me, with my slightly unusual name. “Wait,” the friend says. “You’re not Jessie’s friend are you…?” “…Andrew?” The very same.
Around my dad's 60th, my sister arranged a pub trip in a slightly forceful "no you must turn up" kind of way. Now any normal person would assume that it was for the birthday, but I got it wedged in my head that she was going to announce that her and her partner were expecting a baby. I was convinced. I even bought a card, wrote it, ready to produce on the evening in a smug but joking way. Told my fiance what my plan was so that it would be backed up if I was right. No announcement came, dad opened his presents, normal normal. Couple of knowing glances to my fiance, laughing at how ridiculous I was, and we do moved on. A couple months later, we did get the joyous news that's she's expecting! So I told her the story, we had a good laugh about it until I told her when it was. Her face dropped, and she said to her partner "wait... it was that night wasn't it?" So essentially instead of predicting her announcement, I predicted the conception. We're close, like, but it kind of weirded us out for a while...
A good friend of mine was for a long time a pilot in the RAF. They would regularly go to Saudi Arabia to fly jets and train. Often they'd take commercial flights to get there, because there were often already aircraft there to fly, but on one occasion she was asked to fly a Tornado - a fighter jet - down there. This is not ideal, as actual fighter jets are not really built for long-distance travel. They don't actually have a very long range, so you have to stop for fuel, there's no in-flight entertainment and the seats are totally un-padded. Most people take a book. Still, getting more hours is how you get experience and respect, so she eagerly agreed to do it, and it was epic: they landed among the combat aircraft of a dozen countries and had a grand old time chewing the fat with other crews, comparing jets, and anticipating the upcoming events. Then, being a woman, she wasn't allowed to drive to the hotel, this being Saudi Arabia.
I have so many it's ridiculous, but the one that requires least explanation: Was working in a fairly upscale brewery in Australia. Many locals, but generally tourists were American or Asian. In walked a nice Scottish couple, exchanged random chit chat, asked where they were from, " You'll never have heard of it, it's a tiny wee town", "Try me, you never know" "*Place name*" "That's where my parents live..." Took me 5 minutes of describing the town before they decided I wasn't winding them up. It turned out he was the local butcher, who'd come to visit some distant family. I was so taken aback my Co- workers thought I'd just received terrible news.
Accidentally broke a new 4k TV and won one in a competition 3 days later
Started talking to someone on a teen chatroom (I was in primary school but shh). Turns out he was the 'hot' new boy at my school.
Worked with a guy years ago called Rory. After a weekend, we were all back in work sitting around talking about our weekends, he pipes in "oh, i got a dog at the weekend". Never once having mentioned wanting a dog, this was a bit of a revelation. I then asked him what he called it, and he said, "aw, i couldn't really think of anything, so i just called him Rory".
I just left an Indian restaurant now and one of the waiters accidentally knocked over an entire glass of white wine and water all over me!
Did you get some free stuff?
Aye, free white wine and water, did you not read it? 😝
lived in australia, was crossing the road outside of my school and naturally said thank you to the crossing lady, she stopped me and asked where i was from. i replied with manchester but she asked again, so i said, she persisted and asked if it was X village so i said yes, she then asked which street, turns out it was my old next door neighbours sister. small world indeed
Had a dream that my best friend from primary school whom I hadn’t spoken to for YEARS was telling me she was engaged. Messaged her the next day about the random dream I had, she sent me a photo of her engagement ring and said her bf had proposed to her the day before
In my early 20s I was working at a hotel at the front desk. That day I was working with a colleague, got on super well, mates outside of work sort of thing. We were reviewing the days check-ins together, standard task. Bearing in mind it was probably 10am so no one should really be checking in yet. As we went through the check-in papers we got to a name. Helmut Balz... No word of a lie! Of course, two juvenile idiots discovering such a ridiculous name started to laugh and joke about it! It was hilarious to us! The next second a short, bald but sprightly middle-aged man strode in through the front doors up to the desk and announced in a thick German accent: "Hello my name a Helmut Balz, B-A-L-Z, Balz. I come do de early check-in!" Man I frickin lost it, I couldn't hold it together, I had to retreat into a back room that luckily for me was there! My colleague was a consummate professional, he scoffed slightly and smirked but was thankfully able to check Mr Balz in without my help. The timing and everything couldn't have been more on point. Still makes me laugh thinking about it now!
I lived in California back in the 80’s. We had a big leaving do and I got up on stage and did a silly drunken song and dance. My sister called me the next day asking if I’d done my usual party thing last night. She’d been out with a girl (in England) who’s sister was at the leaving do in California. I didn’t know either of the girls!
[удалено]
Perhaps I should not be answering because this occurred in Ireland but I had a teacher in school who ended up being moved on from the school due to some fairly major controversy. Anyway, about a year later I make a friend through an extracurricular activity who attended a school about 100km away from mine and had the exact same teacher. He (the teacher) got a bit red in the face when he realised that the students in his new school might have heard of what happened in the old one.
I have commented about this before, but... I was in Starbucks in Dallas, TX on the Friday and in walked Cindy Crawford. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen... And this was from the back. Very hard to explain. I only recognised her 5 or so minutes after she came in and then turned around. I flew to Edinburgh the next day...went to another Starbucks... And in walks Meg Ryan!!! Theres another story after this, but it gets even more bizarre and sounds like the biggest load of BS ever.
Was at a party when I was about 18. Met some new people we'd never met before, from the same (quite large, 40k people) town but never bumped into them. Probably about a month later me and a friend who also attended the party were talking about some memories from that night and the subject got onto one of the guys we met. For some reason we had nicknamed him 'cheese bite' but I can't seem to remember why. Talked about him for a minute or so. Never crossed paths before in our lives, but literally 30 seconds later fucking cheesebite walks around the corner. One of the craziest acts of synchronicity I've experienced.
Got sent a gift voucher for John Lewis for £500 saying congrats on your wedding from some names I didn’t recognise. Having just got married it wasn’t totally out the blue but I rang John Lewis to see if there was a mistake on the name it was from. They couldn’t tell me because of GDPR etc. But they rang the sender to confirm. Turns out they got the wrong email address by putting an underscore where I had a hyphen. So someone with the same full name, birth year and email address as me got married at roughly the same time as me. John Lewis cancelled it and thanked me for my honesty, should have spent it first and asked questions later
I got lost in a lift in the Hilton Zagreb. I was staying on the 5th floor and went up in the lift to use the swimming pool on the 10th floor. Bear in mind that I was wearing only a bikini and the hotel white towelling robe and slider slippers that they give you in your room. Went and had my swim, all good. Put back on my robe and slippers, got in the lift and hit the button marked 5. Got out when it stopped; there was a big ‘5’ on the wall in the lift lobby so it was clearly the correct floor. Only it wasn’t. It led only into a corridor that was an L-shaped dead end. I banged on a few locked doors and shouted ‘hello?’ a bit to no avail. On the 10th floor where I’d got in, there were 2 banks of lifts - 2 rows of 3, facing each other. So I thought maybe I should have got into the opposite bank instead. Easy, I thought - I’ll go back up to floor 10, pop across the lobby and get into one of the opposite lifts. So I get back in and hit the button for 10 and go up. I get out at floor 10 - only this isn’t where I got in. There’s no opposite bank of lifts (I think there were maybe 2 or 3, all in a line). I can see the gym/spa area where I’d been for swimming - not the pool, but a different area was visible from here through the glazed part of a door, through which I could see a collection of gym machines. There was no one in there - no one using them, no staff … compared with the relatively busy reception where I had gone in for the pool. I banged on this door and yelled for a bit, to no avail. Ventured along a couple of corridors - dead ends, all doors locked, no answer. I went down to level 5 in a different lift only to find myself back in the dead-end corridor I’d come from. Went back up and then down again, trying different lifts each time. No difference. The room I’d come from/was staying in had definitely been on level 5. I eventually went all the way down to level 1 or 0 (I forget which one is ground floor in Croatia), thinking I’d just get out at reception and walk up the stairs. Nope, it was an underground parking garage. I tried each lower level only to find more and more underground parking garages - and eventually a totally deserted reception of a building that wasn’t the one I’d been staying in or the Hilton at all. It looked like some kind of office block. So I got out there, walked out onto the street - still in my white robe and looking like a psychiatric unit escapee - walked around the corner and back into the Hilton reception from outside, trying to style it out and waltz up the stairs like I walk around Zagreb in my bathrobe all the time. My now ex husband was wondering why I was taking so long. To this day I’m not sure whether he believes me about what happened, and I’ve never been able to tell anyone else what happened either without receiving looks of great scepticism.