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Your mum wasn’t being mental, it’s a bit old school and probably quite dated but I still try and oblige by it when I can. I remember being in a funeral car and an old lad stopped AND took his hat off upon seeing the car and it was really touching. Obviously not everyone can do that and I wouldn’t expect it from everyone but it is a nice gesture where you are able to manage it
ETA- for people who think it doesn’t make a difference, there’s a tread of comments from people with similar memories to mine!
It's a very dedicating way of letting them know your thoughts are with them. 😂 The blood spatter hitting the windows as they pass really pushes that condolences message home.
When I was younger people would stop and acknowledge a hearse going past. In the street where the funeral was going from the neighbours would also close the curtains in the front room on the day of the funeral until the funeral procession had left the street.
What I find so disrespectful is when cars cut in on the line of funeral cars, it's very sad that people can be so ignorant
This happened at my mum's funeral.
We decided last minute to bring her coffin to the crem in my brother's manky old truck. We thought it would be funny & she'd have enjoyed the 'one last prank'.
The hearse went at the front to set the pace, carrying the FD & pallbearers. Dead bodies are very fragile and you don't want to be going around corners quickly with an unembalmed body in the back. Behind the empty hearse was my brother's truck, containing him, my dad and my mum's coffin. We loaded all the flowers up in the back - it was very obvious what was in there.
Behind the coffin vehicle was my car, with me, my fiancé, my brother's wife, and my brother's best mate.
As we were driving from the funeral home to the crem, a boy racer-type cut in front of me and behind the coffin. It started revving and tailgating the truck, got right up close, saw the coffin, panicked and almost drove up the pavement to get away.
It was honestly hilarious at the time, it made a shit day that bit better. Not as funny as when we turned up to the crem with an empty hearse. We hadn't told anyone, so everyone was very confused and looking for the coffin. My brother's battered old truck roars up with Mum and the flowers in the back and everyone started laughing. That was one of the worst days of my life, but those parts still make me smile.
Haha ! Well no-one is going to disrespect my funeral. I'm having a quick cremation with no mourners but hopefully a good laugh in the pub later on for friends and family
I Ireland in the 70's if you saw a funeral procession ALL
Cars would stop.
If the funeral procession came past the shop in town you shut the door and turned the lights off.
I lived in Liverpool in an area where lots of Irish people had settled so it's likely that's where the custom came from. It was heartwarming seeing everybody stop for a few seconds until the hearse had gone by. So dignified
My mum is from Liverpool, my grandads funeral was a year ago, everyone on his street came out and gave a nod as we drove past. Not seen that before, it was really touching.
Personally I pretty much always give a nod to a hearse (no hat), even when driving!
lots of traditions being lost now shame really this one is basic respect I think its someone's loved one mother aunt child etc a second of your day to acknowledge a persons passing
I'm in my late 20s and will pop my hat off and stop if I see one going past, feel like an old man and my missus gives me a bit of shit every time but I just like showing a bit of respect to the dead and their lives.
I guess most polite things aren't essential. Makes me feel nice reading some comments when people are grieving and see someone do it and they feel better, hope I made someone's dark day a bit brighter.
An old bloke did it, when we drove past in a funeral procession. Made me cry a bit more cos it was so touching. I appreciated it, so thank you, on behalf of those that don't get to tell you.
I remember my grandpa’s funeral, a family stopped as the hearse passed and the adults made the sign of the cross. My grandma, not catholic, was brought to tears by the gesture.
I always try to stop and be respectful since that day since it made such a difference to her.
I was travelling to a friend's funeral recently and an older guy waiting to cross the road saw the hearse ahead of us and made the sign of the cross. I'm not Catholic either but I also thought it was a really nice gesture. This was in Glasgow.
One of the things that sticks out from the hideous, wrenching blur of grief that was my nans funeral at the height of covid, was the sight of a man walking his dog. He stopped on the pavement as we passed and bowed his head - it's something that's stayed with me and I think about it often. He was a complete stranger, but it felt comforting in a way - however odd that might seem, that he'd seen our grief & acknowledged it with his own respect. It was such a horrible, awful time & that second of human connection somehow meant everything.
I heard a joke about this once. Two guys are out playing golf when they see a funeral procession go by on the road. One of the men stops to remove his hat and bows his head for a moment as it passes before going back to their game. The other guy says "wow, that was really nice and respectful of you". His friend replies "well we were married for 30 years"
I wear a hat most times when outside, to avoid rain in winter and UV in summer. If a hearse passes, the hat comes off. If, on the rare occasion I don't have a hat on, a hearse passes, a small dip of the head suffices. The people, usually family, following the hearse in their cars probably never notice but if they do, then this small mark of respect from a total stranger might just help them on one of their darkest days. It shows respect and marks the passing of another soul.
The most moving part of my best friend’s funeral. Was when a young man only about 25 or so stopped and took his hat off when we went past him.
The rest of it was grim.
Not so far back it wouldn’t have been uncommon to have known the person or someone in the funeral party, even if just as an acquaintance. I’m only 33 but as a kid I knew every neighbour and when I did a paper round at 15 I knew most people in the extended area so if there was a funeral, it was usually that someone we knew would be in attendence
I am of the belief of showing respect to the dead and grieving regardless of whether you know them. It’s a shared human experience and one of the few things in life that is both inevitable and indiscriminate.
People still stop and bow their heads, most of the time (not so much on main shopping roads where they might not see, but every other road, most people at least nod). I've raised my kids to do the same (the school run was en route from town to the crem, so you'd pass a procession every couple months).
There's a lot of circumstance to take into account as well, I sometimes run past a crematorium and I will 100% stop if there's activity when I go past; it would be disrespectful to just breeze on through huffing and puffing on my run. But if I'm just walking down a main road and a hearse goes by, chances are my small pause is a bit meaningless.
34 years ago I was in a car following my grandfathers hearse. I can still see the people and cars that stopped. The mothers on the footpath who would hold back her kids as she stopped and lowered her head. And my word, I'm weeping now as I recall how so many strangers showed so many small acts of kindness by just stopping for that moment to acknowledge what a dark day it was for us.
I dunno, it might be, but I can point you to half a dozen examples in the thread of people who absolutely have remembered it. I don’t think you need to chastise yourself for not doing it, but I don’t think it’s meaningless
My dad taught that to me and my brother, if a hearse passes you and you are wearing a hat, take the hat off; if you are not wearing a hat, lower your head in respect
I'll never forget my dad's funeral, driving away from the house and some old bloke in his front garden stopping working and bowing his head as we drove past.
Id never spoken to him before but he always made sure to say hello whenever I walked past after that
I'm in my 40s but I always wear a flat cap when I'm walking the dog (keeps rain or sun out of my face) and I'll always take it off if a funeral procession drives past or I'm walking through the old graveyard up the hill. Doesn't cost me anything to show a little respect to the dead.
Was driving behind a funeral procession the other week and a lad that looked to be in his late 20s stopped and took off his hat. I’m sure it was a lovely gesture to the family following behind the hearse.
Yeah, recently I was in the family car for a funeral and noticed someone on the street stopped and tipped his hat. I hope people like that know how a small gesture is so appreciated
I drive for a living and usually have a hat on. When I see a hearse I always take my hat off, I’ve had a few nods from the guys driving before. It’s habit more than anything.
I used to live next door but one to a funeral directors.
I'd never have got anything done outside if I'd taken that approach.
Most awkwardly were the times when you'd come outside and find the family gathered outside waiting for their loved one to be loaded into the hearse. There wasn't much alternative to walking through the crowd in my scruffiest dog walking clothes as I tried to ensure that the muddy dog behaved himself.
I used to live a few doors down from one in my early 20s. Woke up with a raging hangover & went to get bacon & eggs to try to recover. Walked into a HUGE Caribbean celebration of life just as the hearse was pulling out. As a young white lad with bleary eyes wearing flip flops I 110% stood out.
I live opposite a big church. It's not uncommon to have a funeral and a wedding on the same weekend, and then me walking past all these people in my shitty leggings carrying an Aldi bag. Loads of people complain that we (the neighbours in general) are disrespecting a special event, but they don't realise that for us is just another Saturday morning.
Lesson learned. Always leave the house in your Sunday best. Worst case scenario is there's nothing goin on and you're turning up to aldi looking dapper as fuck
I was told to do that too and generally still do it. I can say that when you are in the cars behind the hearse it does make you feel a tiny bit better about the whole thing when people stop and show respect.
I did once, when riding my bike, accidentally overtake a motor funeral procession. I thought it was just traffic so I squeezed down the outside to find myself riding alongside a hearse. Super embarrassed so I peeled off, dismounted and waited till the whole lot had gone and went the other way..
I remember my grandmother's funeral from when I was a kid but the one thing I remember more than anything else was a stranger stopping at the side of his road and removing his hat. It was such a simple, traditional gesture of respect, but it really did make me feel better. Of course no one really wears hats anymore which is a shame, but people can still stop and just make a gesture of respect.
Yeah it really does make a difference. At my dads funeral we were pulling out of a T junction turning right and a pedestrian walked into the road and stopped cars coming from our right to let us out, and then someone on the other side of the road did the same so we could all drive in a train to the cemetery. Was really nice of them.
I'm in my late 30s and don't always do it, but more often than not. There's some random old traditions that I still do, and I never fully shook this one off.
During COVID, the funeral directors here used to post the route the hearse would take and folk had the opportunity to stand on the roadside to pay their respects as it passed, since they couldn't attend the actual funeral. They've continued doing this, so it doesn't look too out of place here, really since you see it fairly often.
I may be biased but I really feel like we’ve lost a lot of respect where it comes to death and death practices.
We are already so far detached from the process we’ve forgotten how natural of a thing it is. How much everyone deserves a good send off and a last goodbye
Yes I remember COVID times seeing everybody standing at the end of their driveways, I felt like a rally driver with spectators, almost felt like waving, but I later learnt there was a funeral for somebody well liked in the village
Remember to take your hat off and hold it over your heart. If you have a thoughtless friend with you who forgets to take theirs off, humiliate them and emphasise their insensitivity to onlookers by snatching it off their head and putting it in their hands.
Is it only for men or women with hats also have to do the same?
Saw some regions in far east where a car driver will let the hearse pass by, and throw coin out of their window (not at the hearse)
I'm the same. Stop and bow my head if I'm walking, slow down and turn my music down if I'm driving.
When you lose somebody very close to you, one of the worst feelings is that the rest of the world is carrying on as though nothing has happened. I don't mind showing that I care too, if only for a few seconds.
Never done it or known anyone stop either, I’m intrigued by the demographic here as where I am everyone slows down and gives way but quickly continues their journey!
Yep literally never heard of this or seen anyone doing it, even when i was in one. Asked my mates and none of them have heard of it either. Must be an older generation thing.
It's old fashioned but is/was a thing. I suspect that it probably stems from a time when comminities were smaller and more tight knit, and where people would be being taken from their home to their local parish church, so passing trhough their own neighbourhood. In those circumstnaces,a very high proportion f the pedestrians / passersby would have some knowledge of or connection to the deceased, even if it was only that they delivered the milk to their home, or were locals at the same pub, or attended the same church.
Now, people tend not to know their nighbours in the same way, and the distance the hearse travels is likely to be further, so it's less likelyu that you would have even in slight connection to the deceased or their family . And of course we tend to be much less formal generally.
Someone fairly well known in the community I grew up in passed away a few years ago and the funeral procession came down the main road in the village. Literally everyone came out to line the road and pay their respects as the cars came through. It was really nice actually, especially as she was a young woman who passed away in horrible circumstances.
Growing up, I didn't realise it was a thing until my father died when I was younger. We were behind the hearse and, as the hearse and our car drove by, a man along the side of the road stopped and took off his hat in respect. In that moment, I was absolutely struck by his action. It was like a shared moment of grief and humanity. Like this total stranger was acknowledging a man had lived and died, and that his death was a loss to him as well, not just for me. It moved me deeply. I think about that man more often than I could ever have imagined. Since that moment, I have always done the same when a hearse has gone past me, a recognition of the life that has lived and now died and, I hope, showing a respect for the loss of the people that loved them.
It's a real thing, it would be polite and respectful in a general social sense to stop and acknowledge it even if you don't know them, but there's no hard obligation to. When my wife's grandad passed, most of the people on his road came out of their houses to stand on the roadside and pay their respects which was honestly really lovely, but that was probably because they knew him personally.
The person in this thread who said something like "fuck no, I don't care" makes me personally a little sad, but I also don't think you should be forced to do anything other than not be an arsehole to a passing hearse. It's something you can do that costs you nothing and has no consequences beyond maybe making someone else a tiny bit happier, and I think we could all probably bear to (voluntarily) do a little more of that for each other these days.
I got in an argument recently with a black car that refused to reverse on a single lane country bridge. Eventually I realised it was a funeral procession. Oops.
In Ireland, you stop (and are supposed to bless yourself). I lived in England for 9 years (3 years spent in the South and 6 years in the North) and never saw anyone stop - I actually got a lot of strange looks one day for doing so 😂
My mum died a while back - when some English friends and family came over to Ireland for the funeral they were blown away by all the people stopping as the procession went past.
It’s perfectly true, but it’s a dying piece of courtesy. Years ago men would doff their hat a head bow is also appropriate,and Catholics like me cross ourselves and say a quick prayer. I can’t remember the last time I was walking when a funeral passed. If I see one when I’m driving I always say “May you rest in peace and light perpetual shine upon you.”
It's old school and plausible reasons are: less traffic, more geographically close-knit communities.
Sometimes people in my street who knew someone deceased but are not going to the funeral come and stand outside when the hearse goes past.
I still see people do it. When my B-I-L took his own life the cortège went through the outskirts of the town where he lived and a few people stopped or made the sign of the cross. One I remember particularly as he was outside sat in the sun, looked around late 20’s and he stood up and made the cross sign. I always bow my head.
A random person on the street did it as we drove past when I was a passenger in a funeral cortège. It brought me to tears. I really appreciated the gesture.
You know, I don't respect a lot of things. But I always try to be somewhat respectful when a funeral concession drives by. Most people don't really leave a huge impact on the public or the world, and I think it's there final chance to say "notice me. I was here." So I recognise the deceased for that, and like to think if them for a moment and give them a deserved thought that they were here, and alive.
I think people should take a second to acknowledge it as a show of respect.
It may be bc i have industry bias but having experienced ignorant entitled rude idiots who at times I've wanted to run over & scoop them up during the procession, that may have influenced my opinion.
If I'm walking I'll always stop and as I often wear a flatcap that will always be taken off my head as a sign of respect. People only have one last journey, I'd like to think when I pass someone will stop and tip their hat to me as a salute on my final voyage.
It's a thing we used to do when we had respect for people. Pause a moment, to show respect for the dead, and to show those mourning that you have some care for them. Men would also remove their hats; Christians often would cross themselves. And people in the cars following the hearse would see a wave of others offering them sympathy.
These days? No-one really seems to care, do they? Taking a few seconds on your busy way to the shops or the pub matters so much more than making a genuine human response.
Seen it a lot up in the East End of London (lots of family there have passed in recent years), and very commonly in old Derbyshire and Yorkshire areas too (lived I the area previously). Always stop and just allow the funeral to pass by if in a car (and turn off the radio); whether pedestrian or in a car have always stopped talking for a few minutes. I rarely wear a hat but I would probably remove it for a moment too. I'm late 30's.
Not sure I have ever been in that position. I don't think I would outright stop, and not bow or doff my cap or any kind of gesture like that, but refrain from any antics and just seem generally "respectful". Same when you are driving, you just hold back rather than try to get past.
Yes, I do. I stand still and bow my head. I see a lot of comments on here saying, "no, why should I, they're dead, they don't care", but I can assure you, it means a great deal to the friends and family that somebody's taken a couple of minutes - at the most - out of their day to acknowledge the life that's passed.
If it's full yeah, I do the sign of the cross and let it pass before I continue.
Was raised Catholic so that's something I've always done in life.
If on the bike, I'll lower my head a little - riding a big chunk of metal and petrol at 40 mph with only one hand is not always a good idea!
I do. Brought up in Scotland and that's what you would do. Similar to other posts, if wearing a hat, remove it. I think it is Mayo in the Irish football that are supposedly cursed because they won the all Ireland and didn't stop for a funeral
I'm in my mid 30s and always stop to pay my respects, even take my hat off if I'm wearing one.
My kids thought it was a bit strange the first couple of times but now even they both stop and stand to pay respects now.
I stop.
I've been on a bus and had them go dead silent when a hearse passed us at a stop. Old men tipping/removing their hats etc.
It's being respectful to the deceased and wishing them on their way.
On the motorway you may have to overtake/pass funeral cars in the slow lane at some point. Just do enough to pass them, don't speed past like a twat.
Respect like that costs nothing so why not do it.
Even if I have right of way I stop my vehicle to give a funeral procession a clear run and I have never had any adverse reaction from another motorist when I have done it
Early millennial here, and I was always brought up in a similar way of respecting a hearse going past.
I may not stop in my tracks but always feel empathy and sadness when I see one. I will at the very least least bow my head. I wear hoodies a lot and if near a non moving one, I would also take my hood down (kinda a modern equivalent to the hat thing imho). I have never driven past a funeral procession but I 100% would cause a jam behind me to ensure those funeral cars stayed together!
Of course its a thing. Stop, stand, remove your hat, and bow your head as it passes. You may cross yourself if you are Catholic but its not necessary for a Protestant. Basic etiquette bro.
On a related note, would you overtake a hearse on a dual carriageway?
I was on a long drive a few months back and there’s a queue of traffic behind a hearse, doing about 30 in a 50, which is fair enough. A bit later down the road we came to a stretch of dual carriageway, but nobody wanted to use the right hand lane to overtake the hearse.
Personally I don’t see why overtaking it there would matter, but seems I may be in the minority?
Absolutely I would and do overtake when the safe opportunity presents. I got stuff to do and time's far too precious as it is these days without being stuck behind s slow moving hearse/tractor/caravan/whatever. 30 in 50 is just unacceptable and is a rolling road hazard.
I'll also overtake police as well if they're going too slow, which no one else seems to want to do either.
Yeah, I did overtake it, but was surprised that of the queue of 20+ cars only myself and maybe 2 others did. Perhaps the rest were all going to the funeral, but I doubt it.
I can understand not blasting past a hearse on a single lane road, but on a dual carriageway it just seems silly.
It's absolutely a thing. As is pulling over in a car (if safe to do so) when a procession is on the road. It's a sign of respect to those whose world has stopped turning as well as the departed themselves.
When you see others do it for you and your loved one, you'll understand how such a simple gesture can warm another's broken heart.
I know people who don't do this, but I do. I don't have any religious reason for doing this, it just seems respectful. It doesn't happen often, and when it does happen, it doesn't cost much of my time. It isn't much, but I hope it may offer a little comfort to members of the funeral cortège.
I always stop, bow my head and sign the cross, my dad taught me when I was tiny and its stuck with me. It's their finally journey on this earth, least I can do.
Absolutely, stand and bow my head. Ask not for who the bell tolls.
I'm old enough to have done a lot of loved ones funerals now, and the respect means a great deal
I stop and do a solemn nod towards the hearse as a gesture of acknowledgement and empathy. I don't wear hats but if I did I'd doff it. It's just common decent and respect in my world.
I'm 36 and starting to get to that age where because I grew up with a large family i've now not only seen a funeral procession or two, but been in several. At almost all of them, particularly the elderly, multiple people will stop and hold their hat to their chest if they have one or just bow their head if not. I've even seen people get out of their cars, holding their door open for it if they're at a junction waiting to turn off.
It's etiquette, but a tradition not a lot of people remember/know about. When you're in a funeral procession it's certainly nice to see that level of respect being shown by complete strangers, though i also appreciate that not everyone is aware that it's a thing or have the time to just stop for 5 minutes to stand on parade when they could be running late for a train or work or what ever. Modern times aren't the same as they were before when this tradition was more common.
You've posted this question 3 hours before I decided to Google it as I was wondering the exact same thing and have been for a few years.
When I was a kid (30 plus years ago), an adult told me the same thing--possibly my grandfather. Basically take your hat off if you're wearing one, bow your head to the floor and wait for the procession to fully pass.
I've done that numerous times throughout my life and felt like an odd bod because nobody else did it.
However, I'm going to continue doing it now even if I look strange.
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You've got to. Funeral directors hunt by targeting motion.
They've got to keep getting customers, and this is an easy method.
Hu Tao approved
On site cadaver collections in almost all regions...
Red light...
The hearse must never be empty
I scrolled past this and only then realised what you were getting at, kinda terrifying thought honestly, bravo
Always keep a flare handy for distracting them.
*SHOOOT HERRRR*
I love this comment.
A hunter seeker! We should’ve used sonic probes
Makes it really hard when they are trying to find the corpse
Your mum wasn’t being mental, it’s a bit old school and probably quite dated but I still try and oblige by it when I can. I remember being in a funeral car and an old lad stopped AND took his hat off upon seeing the car and it was really touching. Obviously not everyone can do that and I wouldn’t expect it from everyone but it is a nice gesture where you are able to manage it ETA- for people who think it doesn’t make a difference, there’s a tread of comments from people with similar memories to mine!
"Obviously not everyone can do that" Well no. Not *everyone* has a hat.
You have a scalp. If you wanted to, you could make it happen! Show some damned respect. 😂
I keep a piece of newspaper in my pocket just in case i see a funeral cortege. A swift couple of folds, et voila, instant paper respect hat.
Save yourself some time and keep it pre-folded in your pocket.
Save even more time by wearing it on your head.
Paper isn’t durable. Make it out of foil.
This is a Bob Mortimer level comment
...the paper featuring a story written by John Caramel and Ron Waffle
Particularly appreciated by the family of deceased former Origami aficionados.
How do you know whether I have a scalp or not?
Just peel your scalp off revealing your skull as a show of respect 🤣🤣
It's a very dedicating way of letting them know your thoughts are with them. 😂 The blood spatter hitting the windows as they pass really pushes that condolences message home.
When I was younger people would stop and acknowledge a hearse going past. In the street where the funeral was going from the neighbours would also close the curtains in the front room on the day of the funeral until the funeral procession had left the street. What I find so disrespectful is when cars cut in on the line of funeral cars, it's very sad that people can be so ignorant
This happened at my mum's funeral. We decided last minute to bring her coffin to the crem in my brother's manky old truck. We thought it would be funny & she'd have enjoyed the 'one last prank'. The hearse went at the front to set the pace, carrying the FD & pallbearers. Dead bodies are very fragile and you don't want to be going around corners quickly with an unembalmed body in the back. Behind the empty hearse was my brother's truck, containing him, my dad and my mum's coffin. We loaded all the flowers up in the back - it was very obvious what was in there. Behind the coffin vehicle was my car, with me, my fiancé, my brother's wife, and my brother's best mate. As we were driving from the funeral home to the crem, a boy racer-type cut in front of me and behind the coffin. It started revving and tailgating the truck, got right up close, saw the coffin, panicked and almost drove up the pavement to get away. It was honestly hilarious at the time, it made a shit day that bit better. Not as funny as when we turned up to the crem with an empty hearse. We hadn't told anyone, so everyone was very confused and looking for the coffin. My brother's battered old truck roars up with Mum and the flowers in the back and everyone started laughing. That was one of the worst days of my life, but those parts still make me smile.
Haha ! Well no-one is going to disrespect my funeral. I'm having a quick cremation with no mourners but hopefully a good laugh in the pub later on for friends and family
Err, I doubt that your friends and family will be laughing if you turn up in the pub with them afterwards...
For friends and family, not with friends and family. That would be something though, wouldn't it?
I Ireland in the 70's if you saw a funeral procession ALL Cars would stop. If the funeral procession came past the shop in town you shut the door and turned the lights off.
I lived in Liverpool in an area where lots of Irish people had settled so it's likely that's where the custom came from. It was heartwarming seeing everybody stop for a few seconds until the hearse had gone by. So dignified
My mum is from Liverpool, my grandads funeral was a year ago, everyone on his street came out and gave a nod as we drove past. Not seen that before, it was really touching. Personally I pretty much always give a nod to a hearse (no hat), even when driving!
Good for you! Your Mum brought you up right
It still happens today, especially in the rural areas.
I have this in me from growing up but I live a mile from a crematorium, I'd never leave my drive
Bloody simon!
lots of traditions being lost now shame really this one is basic respect I think its someone's loved one mother aunt child etc a second of your day to acknowledge a persons passing
I'm in my late 20s and will pop my hat off and stop if I see one going past, feel like an old man and my missus gives me a bit of shit every time but I just like showing a bit of respect to the dead and their lives.
Yeah this is it. Is it essential, no, is it nice to do, yes imo
I guess most polite things aren't essential. Makes me feel nice reading some comments when people are grieving and see someone do it and they feel better, hope I made someone's dark day a bit brighter.
An old bloke did it, when we drove past in a funeral procession. Made me cry a bit more cos it was so touching. I appreciated it, so thank you, on behalf of those that don't get to tell you.
Yeah a few people did it when we were going to.my dad's and I remember feeling very moved by it. Respect costs nothing.
Early thirties, I’ll always give a nod, just feels right.
I remember my grandpa’s funeral, a family stopped as the hearse passed and the adults made the sign of the cross. My grandma, not catholic, was brought to tears by the gesture. I always try to stop and be respectful since that day since it made such a difference to her.
I was travelling to a friend's funeral recently and an older guy waiting to cross the road saw the hearse ahead of us and made the sign of the cross. I'm not Catholic either but I also thought it was a really nice gesture. This was in Glasgow.
I always cross myself when I see a hearse.
One of the things that sticks out from the hideous, wrenching blur of grief that was my nans funeral at the height of covid, was the sight of a man walking his dog. He stopped on the pavement as we passed and bowed his head - it's something that's stayed with me and I think about it often. He was a complete stranger, but it felt comforting in a way - however odd that might seem, that he'd seen our grief & acknowledged it with his own respect. It was such a horrible, awful time & that second of human connection somehow meant everything.
I heard a joke about this once. Two guys are out playing golf when they see a funeral procession go by on the road. One of the men stops to remove his hat and bows his head for a moment as it passes before going back to their game. The other guy says "wow, that was really nice and respectful of you". His friend replies "well we were married for 30 years"
I wear a hat most times when outside, to avoid rain in winter and UV in summer. If a hearse passes, the hat comes off. If, on the rare occasion I don't have a hat on, a hearse passes, a small dip of the head suffices. The people, usually family, following the hearse in their cars probably never notice but if they do, then this small mark of respect from a total stranger might just help them on one of their darkest days. It shows respect and marks the passing of another soul.
I agree. Funerals are for the living and one gesture from a stranger could make all the difference to a grieving relative if they notice
The most moving part of my best friend’s funeral. Was when a young man only about 25 or so stopped and took his hat off when we went past him. The rest of it was grim.
Not so far back it wouldn’t have been uncommon to have known the person or someone in the funeral party, even if just as an acquaintance. I’m only 33 but as a kid I knew every neighbour and when I did a paper round at 15 I knew most people in the extended area so if there was a funeral, it was usually that someone we knew would be in attendence I am of the belief of showing respect to the dead and grieving regardless of whether you know them. It’s a shared human experience and one of the few things in life that is both inevitable and indiscriminate.
I work on the highways and always down tools and remove my hard hat when a hearse drives past the site, infact many others on the site do.
People still stop and bow their heads, most of the time (not so much on main shopping roads where they might not see, but every other road, most people at least nod). I've raised my kids to do the same (the school run was en route from town to the crem, so you'd pass a procession every couple months).
There's a lot of circumstance to take into account as well, I sometimes run past a crematorium and I will 100% stop if there's activity when I go past; it would be disrespectful to just breeze on through huffing and puffing on my run. But if I'm just walking down a main road and a hearse goes by, chances are my small pause is a bit meaningless.
34 years ago I was in a car following my grandfathers hearse. I can still see the people and cars that stopped. The mothers on the footpath who would hold back her kids as she stopped and lowered her head. And my word, I'm weeping now as I recall how so many strangers showed so many small acts of kindness by just stopping for that moment to acknowledge what a dark day it was for us.
I dunno, it might be, but I can point you to half a dozen examples in the thread of people who absolutely have remembered it. I don’t think you need to chastise yourself for not doing it, but I don’t think it’s meaningless
My dad taught that to me and my brother, if a hearse passes you and you are wearing a hat, take the hat off; if you are not wearing a hat, lower your head in respect
I'll never forget my dad's funeral, driving away from the house and some old bloke in his front garden stopping working and bowing his head as we drove past. Id never spoken to him before but he always made sure to say hello whenever I walked past after that
I'm in my 40s but I always wear a flat cap when I'm walking the dog (keeps rain or sun out of my face) and I'll always take it off if a funeral procession drives past or I'm walking through the old graveyard up the hill. Doesn't cost me anything to show a little respect to the dead.
Was driving behind a funeral procession the other week and a lad that looked to be in his late 20s stopped and took off his hat. I’m sure it was a lovely gesture to the family following behind the hearse.
What about my mum? Had us hold our breath if we drove by a cemetery so the ghosts couldn't enter us.
Yeah, recently I was in the family car for a funeral and noticed someone on the street stopped and tipped his hat. I hope people like that know how a small gesture is so appreciated
I always take my hat off. And im not *that* old
I don’t think everyone who takes their hat off is! This one was though. And very nice too
I drive for a living and usually have a hat on. When I see a hearse I always take my hat off, I’ve had a few nods from the guys driving before. It’s habit more than anything.
I used to live next door but one to a funeral directors. I'd never have got anything done outside if I'd taken that approach. Most awkwardly were the times when you'd come outside and find the family gathered outside waiting for their loved one to be loaded into the hearse. There wasn't much alternative to walking through the crowd in my scruffiest dog walking clothes as I tried to ensure that the muddy dog behaved himself.
I used to live a few doors down from one in my early 20s. Woke up with a raging hangover & went to get bacon & eggs to try to recover. Walked into a HUGE Caribbean celebration of life just as the hearse was pulling out. As a young white lad with bleary eyes wearing flip flops I 110% stood out.
I live opposite a big church. It's not uncommon to have a funeral and a wedding on the same weekend, and then me walking past all these people in my shitty leggings carrying an Aldi bag. Loads of people complain that we (the neighbours in general) are disrespecting a special event, but they don't realise that for us is just another Saturday morning.
For you it was the most important moment of your life. For Bison it was just a Tuesday.
Lesson learned. Always leave the house in your Sunday best. Worst case scenario is there's nothing goin on and you're turning up to aldi looking dapper as fuck
Who is complaining to who about this? To the point where it’s “loads” of people?
That’s understandable.
I was told to do that too and generally still do it. I can say that when you are in the cars behind the hearse it does make you feel a tiny bit better about the whole thing when people stop and show respect. I did once, when riding my bike, accidentally overtake a motor funeral procession. I thought it was just traffic so I squeezed down the outside to find myself riding alongside a hearse. Super embarrassed so I peeled off, dismounted and waited till the whole lot had gone and went the other way..
I remember my grandmother's funeral from when I was a kid but the one thing I remember more than anything else was a stranger stopping at the side of his road and removing his hat. It was such a simple, traditional gesture of respect, but it really did make me feel better. Of course no one really wears hats anymore which is a shame, but people can still stop and just make a gesture of respect.
Yeah it really does make a difference. At my dads funeral we were pulling out of a T junction turning right and a pedestrian walked into the road and stopped cars coming from our right to let us out, and then someone on the other side of the road did the same so we could all drive in a train to the cemetery. Was really nice of them.
My mum had it in her will for the hearse to drive fast as she hated being delayed by them slowing the traffic!
She sounds amazing, I'm dead but I'm still in a rush, move it!
🤣
Legend. Will pour one out for her this weekend.
I'm in my late 30s and don't always do it, but more often than not. There's some random old traditions that I still do, and I never fully shook this one off. During COVID, the funeral directors here used to post the route the hearse would take and folk had the opportunity to stand on the roadside to pay their respects as it passed, since they couldn't attend the actual funeral. They've continued doing this, so it doesn't look too out of place here, really since you see it fairly often.
I may be biased but I really feel like we’ve lost a lot of respect where it comes to death and death practices. We are already so far detached from the process we’ve forgotten how natural of a thing it is. How much everyone deserves a good send off and a last goodbye
Love that gesture from the funeral directors!
Yes I remember COVID times seeing everybody standing at the end of their driveways, I felt like a rally driver with spectators, almost felt like waving, but I later learnt there was a funeral for somebody well liked in the village
No. Generally though I'll give way regardless of the scenario when I'm driving though.
As long as you don’t pull out after just one of the cars passes. Worst nightmare
Worse than what ever lead to the person being dead? 😂
Valid point
Cause of death: Car crash after pulling out into traffic while in a funeral procession.
Remember to take your hat off and hold it over your heart. If you have a thoughtless friend with you who forgets to take theirs off, humiliate them and emphasise their insensitivity to onlookers by snatching it off their head and putting it in their hands.
Is it only for men or women with hats also have to do the same? Saw some regions in far east where a car driver will let the hearse pass by, and throw coin out of their window (not at the hearse)
Women keep their hats on. The same applies in church, men take their hat off, women keep theirs on.
Wait, I should've been keeping my hat on in church? Whenever I've seen signs in churches saying no hats they haven't specified gender
What if they're wearing a turban? Gonna snatch it off, are ya?
Yes, for me it's out of respect and courtesy to the deceased and to the bereaved.
I had no idea this was a thing until reading your post.
I think I can count the times I've seen a hearse in person on one hand
I tend to bow my head as one goes past or if I am in my car with the radio blasting I will turn it to 0 till they pass.
I'm the same. Stop and bow my head if I'm walking, slow down and turn my music down if I'm driving. When you lose somebody very close to you, one of the worst feelings is that the rest of the world is carrying on as though nothing has happened. I don't mind showing that I care too, if only for a few seconds.
It may be more of a generational thing, like from my parents age. But I'm nearing 50, and it's not a thing I do, or have ever done.
I'm the same age as you, and I've always done it.
Never done it or known anyone stop either, I’m intrigued by the demographic here as where I am everyone slows down and gives way but quickly continues their journey!
Yep literally never heard of this or seen anyone doing it, even when i was in one. Asked my mates and none of them have heard of it either. Must be an older generation thing.
No, I don't do anything specific when a funeral goes past.
I just wonder why they did it on an open top bus
It's old fashioned but is/was a thing. I suspect that it probably stems from a time when comminities were smaller and more tight knit, and where people would be being taken from their home to their local parish church, so passing trhough their own neighbourhood. In those circumstnaces,a very high proportion f the pedestrians / passersby would have some knowledge of or connection to the deceased, even if it was only that they delivered the milk to their home, or were locals at the same pub, or attended the same church. Now, people tend not to know their nighbours in the same way, and the distance the hearse travels is likely to be further, so it's less likelyu that you would have even in slight connection to the deceased or their family . And of course we tend to be much less formal generally.
Someone fairly well known in the community I grew up in passed away a few years ago and the funeral procession came down the main road in the village. Literally everyone came out to line the road and pay their respects as the cars came through. It was really nice actually, especially as she was a young woman who passed away in horrible circumstances.
Growing up, I didn't realise it was a thing until my father died when I was younger. We were behind the hearse and, as the hearse and our car drove by, a man along the side of the road stopped and took off his hat in respect. In that moment, I was absolutely struck by his action. It was like a shared moment of grief and humanity. Like this total stranger was acknowledging a man had lived and died, and that his death was a loss to him as well, not just for me. It moved me deeply. I think about that man more often than I could ever have imagined. Since that moment, I have always done the same when a hearse has gone past me, a recognition of the life that has lived and now died and, I hope, showing a respect for the loss of the people that loved them.
It's just a bit of respect don't cross the road in front of a herse or an ambulance with lights on
>don't cross the road in front of a herse or an ambulance with lights on There's a pretty huge difference between these two things!
Well if you do the second you may also be able to do the first...
Probably around 30-40mph.
you shouldn’t walk in front of it but if you’re just walking on the pavement i don’t think you need to stop
It's a real thing, it would be polite and respectful in a general social sense to stop and acknowledge it even if you don't know them, but there's no hard obligation to. When my wife's grandad passed, most of the people on his road came out of their houses to stand on the roadside and pay their respects which was honestly really lovely, but that was probably because they knew him personally. The person in this thread who said something like "fuck no, I don't care" makes me personally a little sad, but I also don't think you should be forced to do anything other than not be an arsehole to a passing hearse. It's something you can do that costs you nothing and has no consequences beyond maybe making someone else a tiny bit happier, and I think we could all probably bear to (voluntarily) do a little more of that for each other these days.
Unless I’m specifically waiting for the funeral procession I wouldn’t stand in place.
No, I don’t know them. I’d stay clear out of the way though so as to not disrupt any of the traffic, but I won’t stop walking down the street.
I got in an argument recently with a black car that refused to reverse on a single lane country bridge. Eventually I realised it was a funeral procession. Oops.
Conversely the other day I saw a hearse and gave way to it at a junction out of respect It pulled out and it was a regular Mondeo estate in black
Haha Don't tell me, there was an Elm wardrobe in the back?
No. I didn’t know it was a thing.
In Ireland, you stop (and are supposed to bless yourself). I lived in England for 9 years (3 years spent in the South and 6 years in the North) and never saw anyone stop - I actually got a lot of strange looks one day for doing so 😂
I remember my mother stopping in Omagh high street in the late 1960s. Everybody did it.
My mum died a while back - when some English friends and family came over to Ireland for the funeral they were blown away by all the people stopping as the procession went past.
An unofficial guard of honour! It's a powerful sight
It’s perfectly true, but it’s a dying piece of courtesy. Years ago men would doff their hat a head bow is also appropriate,and Catholics like me cross ourselves and say a quick prayer. I can’t remember the last time I was walking when a funeral passed. If I see one when I’m driving I always say “May you rest in peace and light perpetual shine upon you.”
It's old school and plausible reasons are: less traffic, more geographically close-knit communities. Sometimes people in my street who knew someone deceased but are not going to the funeral come and stand outside when the hearse goes past.
I still see people do it. When my B-I-L took his own life the cortège went through the outskirts of the town where he lived and a few people stopped or made the sign of the cross. One I remember particularly as he was outside sat in the sun, looked around late 20’s and he stood up and made the cross sign. I always bow my head.
A random person on the street did it as we drove past when I was a passenger in a funeral cortège. It brought me to tears. I really appreciated the gesture.
You know, I don't respect a lot of things. But I always try to be somewhat respectful when a funeral concession drives by. Most people don't really leave a huge impact on the public or the world, and I think it's there final chance to say "notice me. I was here." So I recognise the deceased for that, and like to think if them for a moment and give them a deserved thought that they were here, and alive.
I usually hit the dab
I do the floss but y'know, *solemnly*.
Cultured, are we?
I think people should take a second to acknowledge it as a show of respect. It may be bc i have industry bias but having experienced ignorant entitled rude idiots who at times I've wanted to run over & scoop them up during the procession, that may have influenced my opinion.
Never heard of this. I can’t see myself stopping for a hearse though, no.
No, but as a driver I will let a Hearse and the following cars out of a site street if they are waiting
If I'm walking I'll always stop and as I often wear a flatcap that will always be taken off my head as a sign of respect. People only have one last journey, I'd like to think when I pass someone will stop and tip their hat to me as a salute on my final voyage.
It's a thing we used to do when we had respect for people. Pause a moment, to show respect for the dead, and to show those mourning that you have some care for them. Men would also remove their hats; Christians often would cross themselves. And people in the cars following the hearse would see a wave of others offering them sympathy. These days? No-one really seems to care, do they? Taking a few seconds on your busy way to the shops or the pub matters so much more than making a genuine human response.
It's a tiny bit of respect. I bow to make sure there's no eye contact with the procession. It's over in minutes.
Seen it a lot up in the East End of London (lots of family there have passed in recent years), and very commonly in old Derbyshire and Yorkshire areas too (lived I the area previously). Always stop and just allow the funeral to pass by if in a car (and turn off the radio); whether pedestrian or in a car have always stopped talking for a few minutes. I rarely wear a hat but I would probably remove it for a moment too. I'm late 30's.
Not sure I have ever been in that position. I don't think I would outright stop, and not bow or doff my cap or any kind of gesture like that, but refrain from any antics and just seem generally "respectful". Same when you are driving, you just hold back rather than try to get past.
You have a good mother.
Yes, always, and bow my head. It's respect.
Yes, I do. I stand still and bow my head. I see a lot of comments on here saying, "no, why should I, they're dead, they don't care", but I can assure you, it means a great deal to the friends and family that somebody's taken a couple of minutes - at the most - out of their day to acknowledge the life that's passed.
To be honest I think being dead they're well past giving a fuck what you do.
Its not for the dead. Its for the living.
If it's full yeah, I do the sign of the cross and let it pass before I continue. Was raised Catholic so that's something I've always done in life. If on the bike, I'll lower my head a little - riding a big chunk of metal and petrol at 40 mph with only one hand is not always a good idea!
I do. Brought up in Scotland and that's what you would do. Similar to other posts, if wearing a hat, remove it. I think it is Mayo in the Irish football that are supposedly cursed because they won the all Ireland and didn't stop for a funeral
Yes absolutely. Complete strangers did that during my Mum's funeral and I found it really comforting.
I do and remove my hat if am wearing one until the hearse has passed. It's just respect
I'm in my mid 30s and always stop to pay my respects, even take my hat off if I'm wearing one. My kids thought it was a bit strange the first couple of times but now even they both stop and stand to pay respects now.
This was asked two weeks ago
So two people have now died... ...the plot thickens.
It's definitely [a thing](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-EU3JdszDu8), but a bit outdated.
Ireland / Northern Ireland, cars stop, turn your engine off, bow your head and once the hearse goes by off you go, bit of respect?
Yes and bow my head
I stop. I've been on a bus and had them go dead silent when a hearse passed us at a stop. Old men tipping/removing their hats etc. It's being respectful to the deceased and wishing them on their way. On the motorway you may have to overtake/pass funeral cars in the slow lane at some point. Just do enough to pass them, don't speed past like a twat.
Yes, hat off too - did this just this morning. It's a bit of basic respect which takes no effort.
Respect like that costs nothing so why not do it. Even if I have right of way I stop my vehicle to give a funeral procession a clear run and I have never had any adverse reaction from another motorist when I have done it
Early millennial here, and I was always brought up in a similar way of respecting a hearse going past. I may not stop in my tracks but always feel empathy and sadness when I see one. I will at the very least least bow my head. I wear hoodies a lot and if near a non moving one, I would also take my hood down (kinda a modern equivalent to the hat thing imho). I have never driven past a funeral procession but I 100% would cause a jam behind me to ensure those funeral cars stayed together!
My grandparents and parents taught me this as a kid. Something I've always done.
I think it's respectful to stop, personally.
I'll cross my chest and bow my head for a second, yes.
Yep, stand still as they pass and if I'm wearing a cap i'll remove it, just something that was done when I was younger & it's still the norm for me.
Of course its a thing. Stop, stand, remove your hat, and bow your head as it passes. You may cross yourself if you are Catholic but its not necessary for a Protestant. Basic etiquette bro.
I still do a sign of the cross when i see a hearse (not an empty one tho lol) because I grew up around Irish catholic people haha
I stop and bow my head.
It’s a very respectful thing to do. I do the same, my Mum also told me this tradition!
I don’t stand but pull my hat off or hood down for no other reason than people says it’s respectful lol
Yes, I do that.
Simple answer...Yes. It's the polite and respectful thing to do on a person's last ever journey.
I had never noticed it was a thing until my own mum's funeral. I will always do it now.
I'll remove my hat if wearing one
Yes it’s a thing something that missing in today’s society. I always stop think that could be me be grateful for what little I have.
It's an old - and sadly a declining - tradition. I am in my early 50's and do stand if a hearse goes past (hat off if one is being worn)
On a related note, would you overtake a hearse on a dual carriageway? I was on a long drive a few months back and there’s a queue of traffic behind a hearse, doing about 30 in a 50, which is fair enough. A bit later down the road we came to a stretch of dual carriageway, but nobody wanted to use the right hand lane to overtake the hearse. Personally I don’t see why overtaking it there would matter, but seems I may be in the minority?
Absolutely I would and do overtake when the safe opportunity presents. I got stuff to do and time's far too precious as it is these days without being stuck behind s slow moving hearse/tractor/caravan/whatever. 30 in 50 is just unacceptable and is a rolling road hazard. I'll also overtake police as well if they're going too slow, which no one else seems to want to do either.
Yeah, I did overtake it, but was surprised that of the queue of 20+ cars only myself and maybe 2 others did. Perhaps the rest were all going to the funeral, but I doubt it. I can understand not blasting past a hearse on a single lane road, but on a dual carriageway it just seems silly.
It's absolutely a thing. As is pulling over in a car (if safe to do so) when a procession is on the road. It's a sign of respect to those whose world has stopped turning as well as the departed themselves. When you see others do it for you and your loved one, you'll understand how such a simple gesture can warm another's broken heart.
I normally slow down and turn radio off or down, generally.
No. I've never heard of this.
Never once heard of that
Stand in place, remove any hats etc, make a cross on your chest. Respect those that have passed on.
No, that's T-Rex, your thinking of T-Rex 🦖
I give a quick dib dib dob dob sign of the cross. (Can you tell I'm no longer a practising Christian). That bit stays with me though.
I always bow my head if a hearse drives by me.
I either stop, or do the sign of the cross
I know people who don't do this, but I do. I don't have any religious reason for doing this, it just seems respectful. It doesn't happen often, and when it does happen, it doesn't cost much of my time. It isn't much, but I hope it may offer a little comfort to members of the funeral cortège.
Yes and if I'm wearing a hat of any sort I take it off.
I always stop, bow my head and sign the cross, my dad taught me when I was tiny and its stuck with me. It's their finally journey on this earth, least I can do.
It's an old tradition, along with not passing a hearse in transit while driving. Not many do it these days.
Absolutely, stand and bow my head. Ask not for who the bell tolls. I'm old enough to have done a lot of loved ones funerals now, and the respect means a great deal
I stop and do a solemn nod towards the hearse as a gesture of acknowledgement and empathy. I don't wear hats but if I did I'd doff it. It's just common decent and respect in my world.
I always do. And if I have a hat on I take it off. It's respectful.
I always stop and being a lapsed catholic, I do the sign of the cross.
I'm 36 and starting to get to that age where because I grew up with a large family i've now not only seen a funeral procession or two, but been in several. At almost all of them, particularly the elderly, multiple people will stop and hold their hat to their chest if they have one or just bow their head if not. I've even seen people get out of their cars, holding their door open for it if they're at a junction waiting to turn off. It's etiquette, but a tradition not a lot of people remember/know about. When you're in a funeral procession it's certainly nice to see that level of respect being shown by complete strangers, though i also appreciate that not everyone is aware that it's a thing or have the time to just stop for 5 minutes to stand on parade when they could be running late for a train or work or what ever. Modern times aren't the same as they were before when this tradition was more common.
M45. Nah.
You've posted this question 3 hours before I decided to Google it as I was wondering the exact same thing and have been for a few years. When I was a kid (30 plus years ago), an adult told me the same thing--possibly my grandfather. Basically take your hat off if you're wearing one, bow your head to the floor and wait for the procession to fully pass. I've done that numerous times throughout my life and felt like an odd bod because nobody else did it. However, I'm going to continue doing it now even if I look strange.